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126. The Pygmalion Effect · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Good morning, team. Thank you for being here and
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  listening to the show. This podcast is called Impact
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  Ready for the very specific reason that I wanted to start to
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  highlight conversations around our individual and our
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  collective impact. I've always been pretty
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  fascinated by the fact that any time we walk into a room, we
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  have an effect and an influence on that room with our energy,
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  with our presence. I love observing how things
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  interact and how malleable circumstances can be just based
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  on the energy that somebody brings into a room.
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  I think it's so cool. And I also love the idea of the
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  ripple effect, how one small action can create exponential
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  change down the road, you know, down the timeline.
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  And we talk about that all the time.
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  But one of the other big reasons I wanted to have conversations
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  about this topic, our impact, is because most people are pretty
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  unaware of their impact. They really don't have a sense
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  of how they're showing up. They're not cognizant of the
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  energy they bring into the room. They sort of just wander around
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  and react to the situations that are happening around them.
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  And it just reminds me of that analogy getting tossed around in
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  the waves of life. Most people are not really
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  intentional about the impact they have.
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  And I think that's part of being human.
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  We forget that we have impact. We forget that we have
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  influence. It's sort of like breathing.
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  We just breathe and we don't think about breathing.
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  It's a subconscious thing. It's part of our autonomic
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  nervous system. And so we don't have to devote a
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  lot of brain power to thinking about it.
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  And the same is very similar of our impact.
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  We don't have to devote a ton of energy into having impact and
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  influence. It just happens.
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  But the problem with that is many times people aren't very
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  purposeful about the influence that they're having.
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  And because of that, it becomes random, it becomes inconsistent.
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  Often times it becomes negative without us really wanting it to
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  be that way. And so talking about all these
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  different ideas about how we can have impact and how we can make
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  it better has become a really important passion of mine.
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  And today in this episode, I want to talk about an idea that
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  you've probably heard about before.
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  It's called the Pygmalion effect, and it's all about
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  influence and impact. This is something that people
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  talk about in this sphere all the time.
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  Thought leaders speak about this effect.
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  It's also called the Rosenthal effect.
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  But I think it's a really cool idea and it's something that we
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  forget about, so I wanted to bring it to light today.
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  The origins of this idea go way back to Roman times.
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  That was a Roman poet named Ovid.
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  He was writing about a sculptor named Pygmalion, and according
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  to this poet Ovid, Pygmalion could look at a piece of marble
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  and just visualize the sculpture that was trapped inside of it.
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  So the story goes that he'd have a vision of his piece of art
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  before it even came to life. And in particular, he had this
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  vision of carving and sculpting a, a piece of marble that was
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  inspired by a vision of his ideal woman.
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  And he ultimately did achieve that.
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  He chiseled away at a piece of marble and created a statue that
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  represented this woman, this ideal vision, this dream that he
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  had. And the story goes that he
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  eventually asked the goddess of love, Venus, to grant him a wish
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  and make his dream ideal vision of a woman come to life, make it
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  a reality. And according to the myth, she
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  did and and his beliefs and his expectations became a reality.
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  This is all just the background context of this idea.
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  When we're talking about modern day research around this
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  phenomenon, the Pygmalion effect, we can jump to 20th
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  century when one of the most well known psychology
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  experiments was performed by Robert Rosenthal.
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  It's why they call it the Rosenthal effect.
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  And he went into elementary school classrooms and gave
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  intelligence tests to all the students.
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  Then the researchers told all the teachers in the classrooms
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  which students that data had identified as being the bloomers
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  or the academic superstars, the ones who had the greatest
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  potential for growth. And they told the teachers not
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  to mention the results of the study to the students and not to
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  spend any more or less time with them, not to give them any
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  special attention, give no indication that they were the
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  academic superstars of the class.
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  So they followed these kids and at the end of the year the
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  students were tested again. And what they discovered through
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  the research was that the students that they had
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  identified as being the bloomers, the academic
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  superstars, they actually ended up displaying the most
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  intellectual ability. They turned out to be the
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  academic superstars. They were off the charts in
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  comparison to other students. The reason this experiment was
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  so important is because of the way that it was constructed and
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  it was such that at the beginning every student who had
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  been identified as being a bloomer and as an academic
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  superstar, they were actually pretty ordinary.
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  The researchers had just randomly picked students names
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  and then they lied to the teachers about their ability.
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  So the question became, how did the students actually turn into
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  the bloomers? What caused them ordinary
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  students to become an extraordinary student by the end
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  of the year? And what they discovered was
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  that even though the teachers hadn't said anything directly to
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  the kids about their abilities, about their expectations, they
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  hadn't spent any more or less specialized time with them.
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  There were two things that had happened in the study that
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  created this different response and outcome.
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  The first thing that happened was the belief that the teachers
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  had and the students potential had been unwittingly and non
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  verbally communicated to them. And secondly, these non verbal
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  messages were taken in by the students and they were
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  transformed into reality. So they actually turned into
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  highly intellectual academic superstars.
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  And this is what they call the Pygmalion effect.
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  And it's specifically when our belief in another person's
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  potential brings that potential to life.
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  This is huge. It is when our belief in another
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  person's potential brings that potential to life.
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  So just as the teachers believed that these students had ability,
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  they then brought that ability to life and ended up being
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  intellectual superstars at the end of the year.
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  And I wanted to bring this up because I want us to think about
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  the implications of this. The expectations that we have
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  can bring about change and outcomes and influence in
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  another person. This applies to our spouses, our
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  children, our colleagues, even ourselves.
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  Even if our expectations or our beliefs are not set out loud,
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  they can influence and impact an outcome for somebody.
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  The person that you have those beliefs about is likely to
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  adjust their behavior and meet your expectations, whether
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  they're positive or negative. And this is a big deal because
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  it can make that expectation that you have a reality.
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  And this experiment has, it might have started in the
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  classroom, but it's been repeated in lots of other
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  settings. They've done it in business
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  settings and management and sports psychology and
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  leadership. So this is a very well
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  understood effect in the psychology world.
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  And I think it's very important for us to understand, especially
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  if we filter it through the lens of our own personal impact, not
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  only our impact, but our beliefs and our expectations, our
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  presumptions, our assumptions about people in our lives.
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  This is something that we talk about a lot in the coaching
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  world. We have to be very aware of this
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  in the coaching industry, that the Pygmalion effect influences
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  outcomes and attitudes of clients that you work with.
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  One of the pillars foundational concepts in coaching that I
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  learned at the very beginning is that we view people as being
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  capable, resilient, and whole. That was lesson #1 when I
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  started going through coaching certification that people are
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  resilient, capable and whole. And to assume anything otherwise
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  would be completely short, changing the client in front of
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  you to the point where you really wouldn't be able to help
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  them very well. And this idea rests on the
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  foundation that we are constantly non verbally
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  communicating ideas to clients. And so even if we're not saying
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  something out loud, our beliefs about a person can be non
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  verbally communicated and digested by that person.
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  And then you're having an influence on them, positive or
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  negative. Sometimes you don't want to be
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  having that influence. If you're looking at somebody
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  and thinking of them as broken or needing fixing or needing to
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  be worked on, those are ideas that can cut people at the knees
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  before they even begin their own work.
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  And truthfully, I think we all know this to a certain degree
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  intuitively. I always say people can feel
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  you, people can feel your energy.
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  Whatever you're coming to the table with in terms of emotions
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  and feelings and beliefs and expectations.
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  We have this really astute internal guidance system, our
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  intuition, our knowing that picks up on these things.
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  If you think about it, if you come to a conversation ready to
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  fight, somebody, ready to argue, ready to be in problem energy,
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  that person is going to feel your energy.
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  They will feel it and they're going to start responding to you
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  in a way that is also defensive and ready to battle.
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  You know, have you ever been in that situation where you
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  approach a conversation and you think that you are feeling
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  diplomatic and ready to, you know, be a team and be curious?
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  But really you're kind of pissed and you're going in there
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  defensive and ready to fight. And you tell yourself, no, I'm
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  not going to do that. I'm going to have a good energy
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  with them. I'm going to have a good
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  conversation with them. And then you get there and that
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  person just looks at you and they just are ready to battle.
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  And you're like, what's that person's problem?
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  Often times people can feel you. And so they're going to meet you
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  where they're at. They are going to fulfill your
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  expectations and beliefs about them, whether you want them to
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  or not, positive or negative. And I think about that all the
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  time. I think about how am I going to
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  approach conversations with my teenagers when they get home
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  from school and we have to have a hard conversation?
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  How do I want to have conversations and interactions
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  with my spouse? Do I want to show up ready to
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  fight? No, I want to show up curious.
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  I want to show up willing and open hearted and open minded.
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  How are we showing up for conversations with our managers
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  or our teammates when they've dropped the ball on something?
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  Are we ready to fight? Are we ready to blame them and
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  criticize them and judge them? Or are we coming in curious,
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  wanting to solve the problem? These are all questions that I
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  ask myself so much these days, especially because whether we
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  want to or not, we have an impact.
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  And I think we really have to integrate that idea.
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  Whether we want to or not, we have an impact.
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  People can feel us. The Pygmalion effect says that
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  our expectations of somebody's potential, our expectations of
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  and beliefs about someone will often come to fruition because
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  that person will adjust to those.
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  So with all this information, I think it's really important to
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  ask some questions anytime we are getting ready to interact
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  with somebody and anytime we want to have a positive impact.
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  The first question I can think of is, do I believe that this
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  person is capable and resilient and whole?
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  Do I believe that they have the capacity and the abilities and
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  the skills to solve a problem or rise to the occasion?
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  Do I believe that they can have a growth mindset?
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  If the answer is no, you're going to get a very different
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  effect then if the answer is yes, if you believe that they
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  are capable of change and growth and rising to a situation.
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  The second question I think about all the time is do I
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  believe that this person can make the effort?
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  Do I believe this person wants to solve this problem with me?
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  Do I believe that we can come to a resolution and walk away
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  feeling good about this conversation?
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  If the answer is no, I back up out of that conversation because
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  if I'm going in ready to fight and expecting a loss, that's not
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  going to go well. Most likely I'm going to end up
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  with a loss in that conversation.
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  I won't have a resolution. There might be more animosity,
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  there might be more frustration. And it's all because I went in
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  believing that it was a no, believing that there wasn't
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  going to be a solve and that it wasn't going to go well.
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  And then the third question that I always ask myself is what's
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  the energy that I want to show up with in this space?
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  How can I convey these beliefs that I have about this person in
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  my words and my actions and through my energy and my
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  feelings? If I believe this person is here
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  to work together with me, if I feel like we're going to have a
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  positive interaction, if I feel like we're both going to be more
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  high frequency working together, that's going to have a very
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  specific outcome versus me walking in, believing and
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  showing up with feelings that are low frequency, that are
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  negative, that are conveying pessimistic beliefs about this
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  person in front of me. Very different response and
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  reaction that will end up as a result of that conversation.
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  So if we zoom out and we think about this idea, I think it's
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  just very important to remember that the expectations and the
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  beliefs that we have about the people around us will influence
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  them. Most often these beliefs are non
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  verbal. We don't even have to say them.
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  It's just through our behavior and our feelings and our
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  beliefs. It's not even about the words
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  that we say in this case, we still have influence and impact
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  on their outcomes. Our beliefs in another person's
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  potential will bring that potential to life, for better or
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  worse. And I know that if you're
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  listening to this podcast, you want to be on the side of better
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  and not worse. And because of that, I think
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  it's worth challenging our own beliefs about the people who are
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  in our lives about the way that situations are going to go.
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  I think it's important to be really cognizant and aware and
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  observe what we feel to be true about things before we even step
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  into those situations. You know, I think it's important
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  to be aware of the energy that we bring into a space because
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  that's going to have an influence too.
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  And the Pygmalion effect is just another layer to this influence
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  and impact that we have. And so my challenge to you this
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  week is to think about the people who are closest to you,
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  the people who you spend so much time with, who you have so much
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  love for, and observe what do you believe about them?
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  What do you believe about their potential?
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  What do you think about your teenagers ability to do well at
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  school or make friends or thrive in their life?
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  What do you think about your spouse's ability to go out and
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  and reach for their dreams or go get that job that they've
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  wanted, that promotion. Maybe they want to make a
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  transition in their life and they're feeling like they don't
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  have the courage to do it. What do you believe to be true
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  about their potential? What do you believe to be true
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  about your parents potential or your colleagues?
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  And if you're noticing that it's not all that positive or that
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  helpful, maybe we can reinforce it.
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  Maybe we can shift it a little bit and you can redirect that
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  energy so that the people who are in your sphere can feel your
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  positive impact in a totally different way, can feel the
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  Pygmalion effect in a way that influences their ability to
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  bring that potential to life. I think that would be so badass.
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  It would change the world if we absolutely believed in people in
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  the way that we could. So I hope this helps.
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  I hope this spurs on some insights and creates some change
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  with the ability that you have to impact the people who are
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  closest in your sphere. Thank you for listening as
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  always, and thank you for being ready to impact.
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  Thanks for listening to Impact. Ready, I hope.
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  Today's episode inspired you to own your impact and recognize
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  that you. Are powerful.
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  By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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  exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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  share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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  I truly. Appreciate you.
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  Thanks again for being here.