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Let Them: The Freedom Of Releasing Control · Natty Unfiltered

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One of the most exhausting things we do as women,
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and especially as moms, is trying to manage
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how everyone else thinks, feels,
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reacts, and shows up.
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Today we're talking about what happens when you
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just stop doing that. Welcome to Nati Unfiltered, the podcast
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for moms who love their kids. But no, they were meant
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for more. I'm Natty, a mom of three, real estate agent and
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online entrepreneur, and this is where we talk confidence,
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mindset, money, and building a life that actually feels
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like yours. No fluff, no pretending,
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just having real conversations for women. Ready to stop playing
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small. Have you ever heard of the term
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let them? What the let them theory
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actually means? I actually heard about
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this term not so long ago and I
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thought about it. Oh my God. This just applies to a lot of things that
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I've been doing in my life. So let's dive
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in and let's talk about a little bit more about. The let them theory
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isn't about giving up or becoming detached.
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It's about emotional boundaries that you
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set for yourself and for others. It means
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allowing people to react, judge,
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approve, or disapprove or misunderstand without
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letting it derail you. You can control how others
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respond to your growth, your choices, or your
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ambition, but you can't control whether you
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abandon yourself because of it. This shift
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alone creates mental peace. So you need to
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remember that when you are starting a business or you
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starting to do something in line, whatever it is in life, you're not gonna
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have everybody that's in your circle, including your
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family, your friends that are going to support you. They're going to agree
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with the choices that you're making. But as
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long as you set the boundaries and you are
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actually doing that, something that's bettering yourself,
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something that is going to benefit you, benefit your family,
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this is what you need to concentrate. You cannot please everybody in
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your life, and you shouldn't even try. People need to concentrate
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on their own lives. So you'll notice that a lot of times when
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people are bored or they're maybe miserable in their lives, they have
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to put their five cents into yours. Meanwhile, they have
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to be concentrating on theirs. And they might not understand why you're doing
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certain things, and they don't need to, as long as it makes sense to you
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and it makes sense to your family. And this is where you set
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the boundaries of what you
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allow, other people tell you,
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maybe control you. And when
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you set those healthy boundaries, then you are
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at peace. Your mindset is at peace. And this is
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where the let them theory comes in is
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you let others have their own feelings,
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have their own opinions, have their own judgments,
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but you actually control how you
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react to those
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people and you put those boundaries saying,
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okay, I hear you, I understand where
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you're coming from, but I'm going to do me,
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so let me do me. Why mom struggles
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so much with this? Moms are conditioned
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to keep the emotional temperature comfortable for everyone else.
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We manage expectations, we try to avoid
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conflict. I know that it doesn't always happen.
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Hey, we humans and we
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soften our desires so no one else feels uncomfortable.
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But when you're building a business or trying to grow financially,
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this people pleasing mindset becomes a cage.
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Growth will make others uncomfortable and that doesn't mean you're doing
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something wrong. As I mentioned before,
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a lot of people might not understand why you're doing certain things. When I
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got into social media and at first when I used to take pictures
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and post pictures and I've had friends just question
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like, why is she doing this? You know, why is she taking pictures?
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They would question why I'm doing things. And at first it
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made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't want to take pictures when people were looking at
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me, even my close friends, because I
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did not want it to be judged. And then it
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took me some time. Where I needed to realize is that these
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people, they don't understand. They might not be comfortable with social media, they might
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not do the same things that I'm doing and
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that's okay. They don't have to understand that just because they're not comfortable
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doesn't mean that they have to make me feel bad or make me feel uncomfortable.
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To me it was, they're my friends, they're supposed to,
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they're supposed to support me.
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They're supposed to be. And I shouldn't say supposed to. Maybe it was
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just me. That was a wishful thinking.
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I, I wanted my friends to be supportive. I wanted my
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friends to be was cheerleaders for me. And that
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was not the case. I only had maybe like one, two friends who were supportive
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who told me, hey, you, do you. If this is what
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you want to do, then go ahead and do it and I'm going to be
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behind you a hundred percent. This is what I had
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to realize is that they might not understand what I'm doing,
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but it's okay because that makes sense for me, that makes me
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happy and I know the path that I'm on, where I'm going
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and that's okay if they don't understand it because it's my life. It's my
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life path and I'm choosing to go that
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route. And same thing when you are a mom and
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you're trying to raise kids and maybe you are trying to start
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a business or grow a business, there are the people who are not going to
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understand that. They might say why are you doing this? You, you should
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concentrate more than being a mom. But who says that you can,
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cannot do all of it? If you are capable of doing all
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of it, be there for your family,
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meanwhile starting to do something that makes you happy,
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that grow business, get on social media, then why
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not do that? So removing that outside noise
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is going to bring that peace for you and
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that understanding that you know what, it's okay,
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it's okay for the people not to understand what I'm doing and not agree
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with it. I'm just going to do me, let them be disappointed
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and you just keep on going. Not everyone will
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understand your vision, your schedule or your priorities.
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Some people will project their fears onto your
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choices. You'll see that sometimes people, they afraid to take
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leaps of faith. They're afraid to put themselves
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out there, they're afraid to start a business, they're afraid to
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put themselves out there in social media. There's,
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they have their own reasons and they will try to derail your
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dreams and your vision because
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they're afraid of the same thing. And you have to remember that
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those people, they will question you, they will put doubts in your head.
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But this is where you have to stay strong minded.
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Don't second guess yourself. And you need to understand where that
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person or people are coming from. And it's okay that
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you disappoint them, but make sure that
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you still keep on going. Let them.
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Disappointment isn't a danger. Judgment isn't
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rejection. The moment you stop personalizing other people's
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reaction is the moment your confidence stabilizes.
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It took me, oh my gosh, for how long to
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actually realize all these points?
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I'm, I didn't want to be, I didn't want to disappoint
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people. I didn't want to have
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judgment put on me for certain things that I was doing in
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my life and the choices that I was making.
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But then when I realize is that, hey,
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it's okay that I'm going to disappoint people. It's okay
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that if people want to judge me because people will judge me no
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matter what. People will judge you no matter what. If you're just starting
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out and people don't understand it, they will judge you when
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you become successful. People will Judge you?
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Because they will say, well, what kind of a mom she is, why is
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she doing this and that? Is she present for her kids? Is she present for
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your, for her family? People who are unhappy will always
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judge you. People who are not supportive,
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they will always judge you. But you then have to realize that
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do you want to even have those people in your life? Do,
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do you want to keep them at bay? And it's okay that
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you disappoint them because you know what? At the end of the day, again,
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they're living their life, you living your life.
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And you need to do what is makes
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you happy. You don't want to have regrets.
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When you 60, 70, 80 and you're
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thinking about it being like my gosh, why I didn't start that business,
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why I didn't put myself out there,
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why I stopped myself because
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I was afraid of what people were thinking of me, of what they
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were saying of me, that I was disappointing them.
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You need to stop thinking about others and
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start thinking about yourself. How let them
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creates financial and emotional freedom.
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When you stop managing opinions, you free up energy to
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build. When you stop, you really
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think about this. When you stop worrying about what other people
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going to say, how are they going to perceive you?
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You then let your mind be free. You become more creative.
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You just, you feel that those bricks
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just drop from your shoulders. And believe me, I've gone
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through it and it feels amazing. When you don't
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care about other people's opinion, you,
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you have this whole different perspective. You have a
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total different energy that lets you build your
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life, your dream life and what exactly working
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and we're working towards your dreams and
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goals that you've set for yourself. You start showing up more consistently
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for yourself. You stop second guessing.
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When you have people who put doubts in your head, you just
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need to stop them right there and just say, you know what, I'm doing it.
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I don't want you. If you cannot support me, then it's on you. But I
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don't wanna, I don't want you to be gaslighting me. I don't
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want you to put negative negativity out there.
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Just, you know, stop and you show up for yourself
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consistently letting others be who they
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are allows you to become who you're you're meant to be
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without guilt, apology or burnout.
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So you need to remember that you are living
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your life for yourself without any guilt. You're not
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apologizing for the choices that you're making. I'm talking about like
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healthy choices, good choices. I mean Listen,
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sometimes people were even think like, if you don't have simple things as
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you don't have a cleaning lady, sometimes people think like, well,
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how come you don't have a cleaning lady? Why don't you hire a cleaning lady?
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You'll have so much free time and this and that. Well,
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you know what, everybody has their reasons of why
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they might not have a cleaning lady. Why maybe they're waiting to have a
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cleaning lady, but at some point is that if it bothers
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somebody else, let them. Let them be bothered.
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You do you, you do what works for you.
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The let them theory is actually if you really think
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about it and you look at you, you look at things
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in your life and you look at people in your life and people who are
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being supportive of you of endeavors that you're
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starting, the businesses of you starting, of you putting yourself out there on
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social media because you want to build the business,
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because you want to bring that extra income for your family,
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maybe you want to replace your 9 to 5 with the online business.
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Anything and everything is possible, especially in this day
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of age, because you see others do it, you see young people
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do it, and why not you?
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And when others don't understand you,
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they judge you, then it's okay, let them.
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But you need to make sure that you are surrounding yourself with
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people who are, who support you,
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who will tell you how it is in
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like, you know, in a good way. Yes, we all at times need
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that talk. Or maybe just it's okay to ask
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for opinions or critique from your friends just
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so that you can get better, just so that you can grow. But make
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sure that you remove the toxic
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people from your life. You surround yourself with
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good people that want the best for you.
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And you know, it's okay to let them
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not understand what, what exactly they're you're doing.
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It's okay to let them be disappointed.
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It's okay to let them be.
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It's okay to let them think what they want,
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let them misunderstand, let them talk.
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You weren't put here to be digestible.
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You were put here to be honest and
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to be honest with yourself and with your
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loved ones. If this episode spoke to you,
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it's not by accident. Your dreams are random. They're reminders.
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Keep going. Keep choosing yourself.
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And I'll meet you in the next episode of Nati
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Unfiltered.