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Solocast: How to Deal With a "Bad Review" · Lean Out Podcast

• 0:01
  Welcome to the lean out podcast.
• 0:03
  I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:04
  Don baker.
• 0:05
  Are you looking for a new approach to finding authentic and sustainable work-life balance?
• 0:10
  You've come to the right.
• 0:11
  Place.
• 0:11
  For inspiration.
• 0:12
  information.
• 0:13
  and a community.
• 0:14
  community.
• 0:14
  of like-minded.
• 0:15
  Professionals.
• 0:16
  Let's get to the show.
• 0:18
  Hello?
• 0:19
  Hello.
• 0:19
  Thanks for being here.
• 0:21
  Today.
• 0:21
  I wanted to talk about.
• 0:23
  What to do what it's like and what you can think about when you get a quote, bad review.
• 0:31
  So, what am I talking about?
• 0:32
  When I say bad review?
• 0:34
  With the advent of the internet reviews have become a huge part of our consumer experience.
• 0:39
  For instance, I'm a big Amazon shopper because when you live in a rural place that doesn't have a lot of brick and mortar stores.
• 0:46
  You have to shop on Amazon.
• 0:48
  And I'll tell you, I always look at reviews for the products that I'm considering to buy.
• 0:54
  It's become a huge part of online shopping.
• 0:57
  The services we offer as professionals in healthcare, legal, accounting, et cetera.
• 1:03
  Are no exception.
• 1:05
  Also any of us that are putting out creative work into the world, such as in books, like lean out or YouTube videos, et cetera.
• 1:13
  Reviews and comments are a big part of that game as well.
• 1:16
  In medical school, the only grades you get in your third and fourth years when you're rotating through your clinical clerkships are evaluations, which are essentially reviews.
• 1:26
  And then these reviews go on to be the foundation upon which your Dean's letter is written when you were applying for residencies.
• 1:33
  This happens in law school to your entire grade for a semester long class can hinge on one evaluation you received from one essay.
• 1:42
  Needless to say, we become conditioned to care heavily about reviews due to the structure of our professional training.
• 1:48
  And this indirectly translates to a reticence to lean out.
• 1:52
  If you lean out, you're sticking out.
• 1:54
  If you're sticking out, you're becoming a headache for a chief resident or an attending, you're a target for a bad review.
• 2:00
  So we learned to become chameleons act like everyone else on the team you're on during the four to six weeks.
• 2:06
  Even if you have absolutely no interest in pursuing that specialty.
• 2:10
  What you're reviewed on can be also quite arbitrary and depend highly on the mood of the reviewer on any given day.
• 2:17
  In my anesthesiology residency, I attended a program with a very large faculty base.
• 2:22
  You may not work with the same faculty for months, and then you may have a day that you just didn't do as well with that particular person.
• 2:29
  And yet they're asked to review you.
• 2:32
  And they're forced to write things that are really just a snapshot of your overall performance.
• 2:36
  When I was in residency and struggling with an illness, I wasn't yet even aware of, I got some bad reviews.
• 2:42
  It definitely fueled my desire to quit residency something I came close to, but I'm now glad I didn't do.
• 2:49
  When I was told I had stress induced premature ovarian failure.
• 2:53
  I tried to quit, but was urged by department leadership to take a leave of absence.
• 2:58
  A faculty member got wind of this right around review submission time and wrote some not nice things about how taking a leave of absence.
• 3:05
  Reflected that I was very unprofessional.
• 3:08
  On the cusp of studying personal development in attempts to cure my own burnout during that time.
• 3:13
  This was a defining moment when I started to let go.
• 3:17
  Of how much a hold the reviews really had on me.
• 3:21
  Obviously, I didn't agree with that attendings comment.
• 3:24
  And it got me thinking about how arbitrary.
• 3:28
  These reviews and evaluations can be.
• 3:31
  Later after I was diagnosed and treated for a brain tumor, I looked for jobs and was offered one by the department where I was finishing my training.
• 3:39
  The job had some really great features that made it a wonderful opportunity.
• 3:43
  Only I felt uncomfortable about being known as this person that was the black sheep, someone who had had some bad reviews.
• 3:51
  I have to admit that those reviews were still in my head.
• 3:54
  I confided this to a faculty member.
• 3:56
  I trust it.
• 3:57
  And you know what he said to me?
• 3:59
  He said those people are never going to evaluate you again.
• 4:03
  They have no power over you.
• 4:05
  So I actually went on to take that job at that institution where I trained and I worked there for more than 10 years.
• 4:12
  Nowadays the reviews I encounter are mostly for my book for this podcast talks I give at conferences and my coaching services.
• 4:21
  And I'm going to just make an aside requests that if you would like to leave a review for my book on Amazon.
• 4:28
  Please do so.
• 4:28
  I would much appreciate it, even if it is a critical review and the same for this podcast.
• 4:35
  So far to date, no glaringly negative things have been said in these arenas, but something happened recently to me while doing my work as an anesthesiologist.
• 4:46
  Typically in my specialty patient reviews, aren't a huge part of business success or attraction of new patients.
• 4:52
  But there are definitely times when you might get involved in a patient complaint or another kind of thing which is what happened to me and can really occur in any workplace, is an internal staff complaint, or getting written up by someone.
• 5:06
  So the other day, I got a call from one of the higher up partners in the group where I do regular PRN or as needed work.
• 5:15
  Another anesthesiologist who was covering cases in the cath lab over the weekend, had heard a complaint from a tech about the anesthesiologist that had worked in the cath lab on Friday.
• 5:25
  And that anesthesiologist happened to be me.
• 5:28
  Now, the guy that heard the complaint does not know me at all.
• 5:31
  So he thought he should tell one of the main people about it in case.
• 5:35
  There is a problem that needs to be addressed.
• 5:38
  The complaint was essentially.
• 5:40
  She couldn't intubate.
• 5:41
  And she was yelling at staff.
• 5:43
  Basically the sentiment was that I was flailing, which actually I was, and I will explain that in a minute, but the implication was also that it was due to a lack of skill and that I had acted unprofessionally.
• 5:56
  This is completely untrue and it is an inaccurate summation of what happened that day.
• 6:01
  I had an unanticipated difficult airway, which on top of already a normally stressful event, it happened in a non or location, which means that it's not in a normal operating room near all the equipment, regular personnel, anesthesia techs, et cetera.
• 6:19
  So it turned into an emergency requiring me to ask multiple people to come into the room to help me ventilate the patient in between attempts at the airway, and also in me requesting for another anesthesiologist to come and then to run over to the, or, and see if anyone's free for a backup.
• 6:36
  I don't need to go into too much detail on the specifics of how an unanticipated difficult airway is handled.
• 6:42
  But bottom line is it is an emergency and require skilled hands for help.
• 6:47
  Failed airways are a major source of morbidity and mortality in the anesthesiology field.
• 6:53
  So it's so much so that the American society of anesthesiologists has an algorithm in place for handling the difficult airway.
• 7:01
  And it's something we train on and practice extensively in residency.
• 7:06
  I followed the first steps of the algorithm tree, which are to recognize the difficulty quickly.
• 7:11
  Call for help try different pieces of equipment that I don't need to describe on the podcast, et cetera.
• 7:18
  The patient did fine.
• 7:20
  And I established the airway, but it was an airway that ended up not being the right type for the case and I did all of this before a second anesthesiologist actually was able to get there to help me keep in mind.
• 7:32
  I'm outside the normal operating room.
• 7:34
  So it takes time for anyone or anything to come to you in this kind of a situation.
• 7:39
  Once I stabilize the patient, I changed the airway to the correct type for the procedure, with the help of the second anesthesiologist, and he corroborated with me that it was definitely a difficult airway.
• 7:52
  This whole process, which you can imagine was stressful, delayed the case by maybe 30 to 60 minutes, which is probably part of the impetus for the complaint.
• 8:02
  The people who normally work in the cath lab likely don't appreciate the gravity of what happened there.
• 8:08
  And merely saw it as an inconvenience to them.
• 8:11
  I've already felt some tension from them before, when I've worked there in the past, because I'm an outsider that comes in and doesn't know where anything is and has to ask them a lot of questions on.
• 8:20
  I ended up getting lots of eye-rolls I've had some tense moments there before, but nothing like that day, which, you know, honestly, I didn't even think that it was that tense.
• 8:31
  After that event occurred.
• 8:33
  We went on and had a normal day and had other patients.
• 8:36
  And no one said anything to me or acted uncomfortable to me at all.
• 8:41
  There might be some sort of resentment related to a power differential involved, which I do suspect.
• 8:47
  Regardless.
• 8:48
  I have to say that this whole thing got me bothered.
• 8:51
  I kept running through what had happened in my head and it got to the point where I was gaslighting myself and wondering if I had indeed managed the case, as well as I thought.
• 9:01
  I had a horrible night's sleep that night with all sorts of work-related anxiety dreams.
• 9:06
  Which, by the way, when I have them, they usually do involve difficult airways.
• 9:10
  But I got over it pretty quickly.
• 9:12
  It was back to my normal self about a day later.
• 9:15
  So, how did I do that?
• 9:17
  How did I not ruminate on this quote, bad review for days making it mean something about me.
• 9:23
  How am I not letting it affect my confidence now?
• 9:27
  Today, I'm going to share with you some tips for dealing with bad reviews, no matter what type.
• 9:33
  Number one.
• 9:34
  Consider the reviewer.
• 9:37
  Are they a stakeholder in your career?
• 9:39
  Will it affect stakeholders and what those people think.
• 9:43
  Their opinion is what matters the most.
• 9:46
  For me, the higher up members of my group that got wind of this complaint were in disbelief, which is why one of them called me.
• 9:52
  They wanted to make sure they knew what happened so they could support me.
• 9:56
  Now that's a good work environment.
• 9:57
  Those are supportive colleagues for the most part.
• 10:00
  People want to be on your side and they want to see you succeed.
• 10:04
  If this is a review, like from a reader, consumer, or a patient or client also consider the mindset of that person when they made the review.
• 10:13
  A lot of times a negative review says more about the reviewer than it does about the reviewee.
• 10:20
  Number two.
• 10:21
  If you're heading down that negative spiral, making the review mean something about you, your abilities, your worth, stop and pause.
• 10:30
  Conduct a thought analysis to remember what is really true in the situation.
• 10:35
  I mean, literally take out a piece of paper and write down the thought that's causing you the distress.
• 10:41
  I'm not talking about the circumstance, don't confuse the circumstance for the thought that's causing the distress.
• 10:47
  Uh, circumstance might be this patient complained about his outcome and the thought is probably more like I'm failing my patient.
• 10:56
  Then figure out if it is really true.
• 10:59
  Likely you cannot prove that it's really true.
• 11:02
  One of my coaching clients have been feeling a lack of fulfillment in her job.
• 11:06
  And after questioning, it turns out that part of this feeling really stems from having dissatisfied patients express their opinions to her.
• 11:15
  She was making it mean something about her abilities.
• 11:19
  We were able to reframe the situation by analyzing the thoughts behind an example of a comment where a patient had expected more than he really could get from an intervention.
• 11:29
  And we turned that thought around from, I failed him to.
• 11:34
  He doesn't appreciate his outcome yet.
• 11:38
  Number three.
• 11:40
  I appreciate that negative reviews and complaints about you do serve a purpose.
• 11:45
  Yes, they are uncomfortable, but they force you to examine the way you're doing things.
• 11:49
  If you're never uncomfortable, if things always go as planned or you ever really growing.
• 11:55
  I just heard a great chase Jarvis podcast episode about the subject, and I will link it in the show notes.
• 12:01
  This is your chance to examine.
• 12:03
  Is there a kernel of truth in the review?
• 12:06
  I have to say that my experience has forced me to think about my tone and volume when I'm asking someone to come and help me with an airway in a stressful situation.
• 12:14
  Maybe I did yell in someone's eyes.
• 12:16
  I certainly did not mean to, but could I have handled things slightly differently?
• 12:21
  Probably yes.
• 12:23
  Number four.
• 12:24
  Except that you won't be everyone's cup of tea.
• 12:28
  I also heard a great podcast on this subject called the mindful healers podcast.
• 12:33
  And the episode is from a couple of years ago, And I will link it in the show notes.
• 12:38
  The idea is people are polarized when it comes to flavors of tea.
• 12:43
  People either love tea or hate tea in general.
• 12:46
  They love certain flavors of tea and absolutely hate others.
• 12:50
  And it's an analogy for life.
• 12:52
  Sometimes you're just not going to get along with certain people.
• 12:55
  You're not going to mesh with them and you might get off on the wrong foot.
• 13:00
  You may not mesh with their communication styles or their sense of humor.
• 13:04
  Not everyone will like you.
• 13:06
  And that is okay.
• 13:09
  And lastly, number five, get perspective on what really matters.
• 13:13
  Are you doing your work with integrity?
• 13:15
  Are you being a professional?
• 13:18
  Crafting and delivering a snarky response to the bad review is not considered professional by the way.
• 13:23
  Taking the high road, however, is what matters most in the situation.
• 13:29
  For my example of the complaint in the cath lab, it's the patient care that matters most.
• 13:34
  I was able to secure the patient's airway without having to wake him up and cancel the case or worse harming the patient in some way.
• 13:41
  When he woke up from his procedure, which he needed, by the way, he didn't even complain of a sore throat.
• 13:48
  Does the person who made the complaint against me know or appreciate this?
• 13:53
  Probably not, but that's not.
• 13:55
  What's important.
• 13:57
  I hope these thoughts about getting bad reviews have been helpful to you.
• 14:01
  Do you have anything to add?
• 14:03
  What's helped you in this kind of a situation.
• 14:06
  As always you can leave a comment on the blog post associated with this episode@practicebalance.com.
• 14:12
  Or the posts that I place on social media, or just send me a DM and tell me your thoughts.
• 14:17
  I look forward to hearing from you.
• 14:19
  Thanks for listening to the lean out podcast.
• 14:22
  If you find these conversations inspiring and useful, please forward them to a friend and also leave a review on iTunes or Spotify so that other people can find them easier.
• 14:34
  If you want to get in touch with me, you can find me at my website, practice balanced.com, where you can subscribe to my newsletter and get updates regularly about new podcast episodes, blog posts, speaking, engagements, and coaching services.
• 14:51
  You can also support my work by buying my book, lean out a professional woman's guide to finding authentic work-life balance for yourself, a friend, family member, or coworker.
• 15:03
  Have a great day and we'll see you