Latest / Let's Talk! An Our2Gens Podcast / 15 | Trinity and Danielle React to Reddit's Most SHOCKING Confessions and Storytimes

Transcript

15 | Trinity and Danielle React to Reddit's Most SHOCKING Confessions and Storytimes · Let's Talk! An Our2Gens Podcast

• 0:04
  Let's talk. Confession I recently discovered
• 0:08
  that I'm the whitewashed friend and I'm having a hard time
• 0:11
  dealing with it. Oh no.
• 0:13
  I know I went to the club with my best friends.
• 0:17
  This was all of our first time at the club so we were really
• 0:20
  excited. Let me preface.
• 0:22
  Let me preface this by saying that my best friends are all
• 0:25
  black, as am I, but before I met them a few years back, I only
• 0:28
  had white friends. It was never on purpose.
• 0:31
  And I truly love my best friends, they're amazing.
• 0:34
  Can kind of relate. They were all pretty.
• 0:36
  Hype, twerking, flirting with guys, smoking, you name it.
• 0:39
  And it didn't bother me until I realized that I wasn't like
• 0:42
  that. I was too embarrassed to let
• 0:44
  loose, and the few times that I did, I felt really embarrassed
• 0:47
  after. I can't twerk and my music taste
• 0:50
  is completely different from theirs, so I knew almost none of
• 0:53
  the songs that were playing, so I couldn't even vibe with them
• 0:56
  like I wanted to. This is a female?
• 0:59
  Yeah, they would try to hype me up and I wouldn't even know what
• 1:03
  to do, not just from embarrassment but because I
• 1:05
  genuinely blinked and I couldn't think of a single dance move and
• 1:09
  I didn't want to look silly. Overall the night was OK but
• 1:13
  I've never felt so out of place in my life.
• 1:15
  This was such an odd experience and it's truthfully put me off
• 1:18
  to partying and clubbing altogether, so I'm clearly way
• 1:21
  too insecure and self-conscious to enjoy myself.
• 1:25
  The thought makes me really sad, since I know that 90% of these
• 1:28
  problems stem from my issues with weight and body, but I
• 1:31
  don't know what to do. I don't want to tell them any of
• 1:34
  this since they're the type that if I told them they wouldn't go,
• 1:37
  they wouldn't either support me or go with me.
• 1:41
  Not really your friend's new friend, I'm saying yeah, but
• 1:44
  they had a really great time and I would hate myself forever if
• 1:47
  they stopped going because of me.
• 1:49
  I can't. I can't do that to them.
• 1:51
  So I'm turning into strangers on the Internet instead, poor
• 1:56
  thing. What advice would you give me?
• 1:58
  This would suck. No, you're.
• 2:02
  Not it's just a. Different and that's the thing,
• 2:05
  a lot of times when you are the only one in a community, you
• 2:08
  lean towards that community. It's.
• 2:10
  Not her fault. No, it's not her fault, I know,
• 2:13
  but I like that she still sought out black friends eventually.
• 2:17
  Exactly. Yeah.
• 2:18
  Is that? Good for her.
• 2:19
  Keep going sweetie. Yeah, am I the asshole for not
• 2:23
  inviting my widowed sister-in-law to Christmas and
• 2:28
  telling her she isn't immediate family anymore?
• 2:33
  I need context. I need context.
• 2:36
  I really don't know if I'm a huge asshole or not.
• 2:39
  This has been a very long year and I will be as clear as
• 2:41
  possible. My brother passed earlier this
• 2:44
  year and my parents have not been dealing with it well.
• 2:47
  His wife Hazel, before his death did not get along well with our
• 2:51
  side of the family, especially my mother.
• 2:53
  I know I am biased, but she has been a royal bitch to my mom and
• 2:57
  me. Oh.
• 2:59
  Excuse me? OK thanks for the context.
• 3:03
  My brother had a kid prior to being married to Hazel.
• 3:06
  She was his stepmom and never adopted him.
• 3:08
  OK so I got custody of my nephew after my brother passed because
• 3:15
  his bio mom is in jail. OK.
• 3:18
  All right. One of the biggest bad points in
• 3:20
  the relationship was Hazel lying about my mom.
• 3:24
  She claimed my mom was calling her names and fat She was not
• 3:28
  and only came clean after mom was uninvited from their wedding
• 3:32
  and missed it. OK.
• 3:35
  She apologized to the family about that.
• 3:37
  It wasn't a good apology because she basically claimed it was a
• 3:40
  big misunderstanding. After that she was passive
• 3:43
  aggressive to me and my mom. She didn't listen to boundaries,
• 3:47
  especially touching and snide mean comments the whole time.
• 3:51
  When it was brought up they claim we were being sensitive.
• 3:55
  We were not. She literally called me ugly
• 3:57
  multiple times in polite ways. I don't know how do you?
• 4:00
  Call someone ugly. I'm very happy they didn't have
• 4:05
  kids together. I mean.
• 4:10
  So after my brother died I filed for custody of my nephew and she
• 4:14
  did a 180. Hazel was nice and it was weird.
• 4:18
  So my parents cannot host Christmas this year so I'm
• 4:21
  hosting. She texted me asking when
• 4:23
  Christmas dinner would be and any ideas for presents for my
• 4:26
  nephew. I told her she's not invited
• 4:28
  period. That this is just immediate
• 4:30
  family and I need to prioritize those people and she is not that
• 4:35
  anymore. In short.
• 4:37
  I was called a petty bitch. Am I the asshole?
• 4:41
  Yes. And rightfully so.
• 4:44
  You feel me? Yes, the asshole, but it's OK.
• 4:47
  It's OK. Because I mean.
• 4:49
  You feel me? I'm not mad at it.
• 4:52
  Confession. I secretly hold sexist beliefs.
• 4:56
  I think women are better than men.
• 4:59
  For context, I am a man myself. Oh.
• 5:03
  Hell yeah. I have a feeling this belief
• 5:06
  stems from the fact that I grew up with three sisters and a stay
• 5:09
  at home mom and my dad always told me that men needed to
• 5:13
  always hang on Caps respect women, but the inverse isn't
• 5:16
  necessary. Oh.
• 5:18
  OK, Dad. I mean, besides that.
• 5:21
  There are a couple of reasons why I believe this.
• 5:24
  In school I always found that women were more caring and more
• 5:28
  gentle people than men. They were always more accepting
• 5:31
  of me and a million times more guys bullied and didn't accept
• 5:35
  me more than women did. I've always found them more
• 5:39
  trustworthy and relatable than men.
• 5:41
  For that reason, I believe women are better than men.
• 5:46
  I've seen all the bad things being done in the world, mostly
• 5:49
  by men. Presidents, historical figures,
• 5:52
  and men in power have constantly made dumb or immoral decisions
• 5:55
  that I feel women who considered are smarter than men on average
• 6:00
  wouldn't have made if they were in positions of power.
• 6:04
  Physically, women advance much further with AIDS.
• 6:07
  They're much stronger internally and handle things like periods
• 6:10
  and carrying children that men couldn't begin to understand or
• 6:14
  handle. Period.
• 6:15
  Who is this guy? I know the greenest green flag.
• 6:18
  Additionally, both women and men can find women attractive, but I
• 6:23
  don't think that many men find other men attractive the way
• 6:25
  that women do. True.
• 6:30
  I think they're heavily undervalued in the society
• 6:33
  considering what they're able to add.
• 6:34
  Do you agree with me? Oh. 100 Yes.
• 6:38
  Where's my green? Flag.
• 6:39
  Get it, get it, get it. Oh my goodness.
• 6:41
  I have a feeling he was like Gen.
• 6:43
  Z but the fact. That he had to put this on a
• 6:46
  Reddit forum like you feel embarrassed like it was.
• 6:49
  Not right. Someone clearly told him he
• 6:51
  wasn't right for having these feelings, but no.
• 6:53
  You were right. You were right.
• 6:57
  Am I the asshole for refusing to take in my in laws?
• 7:01
  I must say no already. Just off the jump.
• 7:03
  Just off the jump. It's not enough room.
• 7:06
  OK, I 37 female, have been married to my husband, 38, for
• 7:10
  10 years. We have two children.
• 7:12
  He has two brothers, Henry, 40, who was married with two
• 7:15
  children and Frank, 43, who was also married with two children.
• 7:19
  Their parents now need to move in with one of their sons
• 7:22
  because they can no longer live alone.
• 7:25
  One of his brothers called for a family meeting.
• 7:27
  I love family meetings. I know with all the siblings and
• 7:30
  their wives. Henry and Frank suggested their
• 7:32
  parents should move in with my husband and me since I have the
• 7:35
  most experience. We own a house, we own the
• 7:39
  bigger house with an in law apartment that we use when we
• 7:41
  have guests and their wives both work.
• 7:44
  I'm the only one with a background in nursing, but I'm
• 7:48
  now mostly a stay at home mom. I keep my license current and
• 7:51
  work one weekend a month just so I can keep my full time options
• 7:56
  open if my children get older. I said no.
• 8:00
  I mean, I have a choice, right? Because my mother-in-law and I
• 8:04
  do not have a good relationship, she's never been kind to me and
• 8:08
  we only see her twice a year. Because I don't want our
• 8:11
  children seeing her do that to me.
• 8:12
  OK, I suggested a nursing home or assisted living.
• 8:16
  And I should know, I'm using my expertise to recommend an option
• 8:19
  for you. Nursing home OK.
• 8:22
  His brother said they did look into that but neither are
• 8:25
  options due to cost. Well I let them know I will not
• 8:28
  be having their parents live with us and one of them will
• 8:31
  have to accommodate them at their home.
• 8:33
  They said they would not be able to survive financially having
• 8:36
  their wives stay at home. I apologize and told them that
• 8:39
  if they have any questions while caring for them I'd be available
• 8:41
  over the phone but told them I would not do it.
• 8:44
  My husband agrees with me but does think it was a little
• 8:47
  harsh. You can call but that's.
• 8:51
  Pick up the phone but don't come stop.
• 8:54
  His brothers aren't speaking to us right now because they said
• 8:57
  I'm an asshole who put them in a bad spot.
• 8:59
  Where's the parents So. Listen, they wanted free nursing
• 9:04
  care. Essentially, that's what you're
• 9:05
  asking me for. So am I the asshole?
• 9:10
  I don't think so. I don't think so, not.
• 9:13
  The gas hole I. Don't think so.
• 9:15
  They can. They can go somewhere else.
• 9:17
  Confession. I organize and decorate my
• 9:21
  apartment with my own homicide in mind.
• 9:24
  Oh, oh, I. Clean and organize my apartment
• 9:28
  by thinking what homicides detectives would think when I if
• 9:33
  I were found murdered in my own home.
• 9:35
  Oh my God, I used to love having decor out everywhere, but when I
• 9:40
  moved after a divorce I became very minimalistic.
• 9:44
  I still have decor but I've gotten rid of 60% of my
• 9:47
  belongings. Oh my God.
• 9:49
  I. Also get rid of stuff by
• 9:51
  considering what my parents would have to go through if I
• 9:53
  were murdered and they were left to clear out my clean out.
• 9:56
  My apartment, my bathroom, my kitchen, my living room, my
• 10:01
  bedroom, doesn't matter which room.
• 10:03
  All I can think about when I clean and organize my stuff is
• 10:08
  what would they say when the fingerprint?
• 10:10
  When they fingerprint and go through my apartment, what would
• 10:13
  they Note in the case file? That that a lot of the cabinets
• 10:16
  in my kitchen and bathroom are empty that keep everything in
• 10:19
  one to two cabinets? Would they tell my mom about the
• 10:22
  dildo in my bedside table? She didn't get rid of that.
• 10:29
  Though a bunch of DNA, Oh my God, would they think I was a
• 10:32
  very clean person? Would they think I could be very
• 10:35
  a very cool person considering the stuff I have and own?
• 10:38
  Would they judge the fact that I make designs on my shower walls,
• 10:41
  my hair when it falls out of the shower, or that I've been
• 10:44
  depressed so lately? I've been so depressed lately
• 10:47
  that I can't build the motivation to take the three
• 10:49
  bags of trash from my front door to the compactor.
• 10:52
  I don't know, but I've told my family since I was 15 or 16 that
• 10:55
  I have a gut feeling that I'm going to be murdered.
• 10:57
  Oh my. God.
• 11:01
  I know I shouldn't. I mean, she's got a.
• 11:03
  Lot of trauma. It's like the opposite of people
• 11:06
  who hoard. Yeah.
• 11:07
  You know, it's like maintaining control.
• 11:10
  Yeah.