Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Why Are You Still Waiting? | Fear — The 9th Silent War | Clifford Sosamon

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Why Are You Still Waiting? | Fear — The 9th Silent War | Clifford Sosamon · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: What if fear isn't actually the thing keeping you stuck?
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: For a lot of us, hesitation can look smart.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: We gather information, we wait for better timing.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: We tell ourselves we just need a little more clarity before we move.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: But there's a point where preparation stops helping and starts protecting us from action.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that creates a different question.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Am I really waiting because I'm not ready?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Or am I waiting because moving would force me to face the uncertainty?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Today's conversation is about fear, the ninth silent war, and what happens when we stop waiting to feel fearless and learn how to take action while friction is still there.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines the compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Michael is a dual elite certified neuroencoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles, procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Clifford Sosteman is a Marine Corps veteran, entrepreneur, writer, leadership speaker, and host of the Tailgate Chat podcast.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: He served six years on active duty, including deployment in Haiti and Marine Security Guard assignments in Bangkok and Rio de Janeiro.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: After leaving the Corps, Cliff moved through business, nonprofit leadership, operations, and veteran advocacy.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: He's the creator of the action under friction method and speaks on execution under pressure.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm super excited about this conversation today.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: His work helps people close the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it when fear, uncertainty, and pressure show up.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Cliff, welcome to your thoughts, your reality.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Tell us a little more about yourself, if you will.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Mike, thanks for giving me the opportunity to come on here and share with your audience a little bit about what I'm doing.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: You had mentioned six years in the Marine Corps, dealt with transition and thinking that you're prepared, you're really not, and not understanding what it means when you when you take your uniform off and you hang it up in the closet, it's the equivalent of hanging up your identity.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: Because those of us who served, you know, those of us who are Marines, not to say anything against the others, but Marines were Marines, right?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, that's who we are.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: And and it's ingrained in us from boot camp all the way through that once you're a Marine, you're always a Marine.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: You're never an ex-Marine, you're never a former Marine, former active duty Marine, but once a Marine, always a Marine.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: But when you're not wearing that uniform every day and you don't have the community, the camaraderie and the support and the mission and all that, it life can it it you have to be prepared.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, I went through that process, uh, found my purpose again in the in the the veteran service organizations, you know, founding one, working with several others, and just my whole mission for a time was was helping veterans understand this and understand moving beyond that that phase.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: But then when that when that role ended, and that's a whole nother long story, but when that role ended, man, I it was like I just threw everything into the fire and I was lost, man.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: I was down in the valley, it was dark, and so one thing that I've taken from that is and that I've learned over my time as my beard has gotten a little more gray, is that when you tie your identity to your role or your job, yeah, transition is the hardest.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so that that's kind of what you know that is the basis of everything I talk about today, and everything that I'm doing.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's what this whole mission started on, and it's built into what you were just talking about the action under friction method, and how that can help us get through these times of challenge and creating friction for ourselves by by through hesitation and and other stuff.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, absolutely.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: I I love I love I love what you said there because literally that's my focus is it's that transition period.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you can get transition in a bit, you know handled, let's just call it that, it changes the rest of your life, right?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's when and I'm just gonna say it, I I'm I'm a strong believer military conditions you to do what you need to do.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: I have serious reservations on when you're getting out.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So if if they can create, and that's why I do what I do, right?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Is if we can create that period, so they uh veterans have a plan, you know, and it's not just veterans, it's anybody in a transition has a plan, it changes the game, right?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I love that you said that.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: So let's just kind of dive in, and then we obviously we want to talk about you know your your programs that you have, etc.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: So uh you joined the Marine Corps knowing that knowing that was the path you wanted, right?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then you got assigned to a lab mechanic a job you didn't want.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: What did that early experience teach you about moving forward when the plan you had in your head disappears?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because it happened that happens more times than not in life, right?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I'll tell you that being a light armored vehicle mechanic was not what I wanted.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: And and I'll tell you a real quick story as to why.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: When I was 16 years old, I had a 77 Monte Carlo, and the water pump went out.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: And my grandfather, who owned a manufacturing facility, was welding, did all this stuff in the local community, had a big shop, a bunch of guys working for him, both my uncles.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: He goes, I'll help you fix it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: I said, That's awesome, Grandpa.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: We went and picked up the water pump, pulled the car into the bay.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: He wheeled the toolbox over and he goes, There you there's the water pump.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: He pointed to it and he goes, It's right there.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's three bolts.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Let me know when you're done.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: Let me know when you're done.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then he turned around to my uncles and everybody who worked for him who was standing there.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: He said, Don't want to Usobs, give him a hand.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: He's got to figure it out on his own.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: And grandpa left.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: Took me six hours to change one.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: I then at that point I was like, No, not gonna be a mechanic.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like it, I don't want it.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: I think I lost some of his wrenches.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: I think some of them were embedded in a wall, you know, just it was not fun.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: So when I found out I was gonna be in, they told me I was gonna be an ordinance in ordinance, and I'm thinking, yes, yes, you know, as an 18-year-old kid, you're like, that's awesome, right?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: And then they're like, Oh, you're an LAB mechanic.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm like, whoa, put the brakes here, Staff Sergeant.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, what that led me to do is understand that the goal was to become a Marine, the dream was to become a Marine, and whatever path that took me on, I learned to love it.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: And for a time, Mike, I was the only guy on the entire eastern seaboard of the United States that could rebuild the transmission for the LAV.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I dove into it and I learned to love it right up until the point where I got out of that and said, I'm gonna go guard embassies, I'm just gonna look good every day.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna wear my dress blues and be the first person that most people in the world see as an American is that Marine standing there in his dress blues.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: So that that was in fact, that was the job I wanted to do when I went in.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, it all works out, right?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes there's there's a different path for us to get there.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: I love I love the story, first of all.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew, I knew being grandpa, you know, uh grandpa you said, right?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, that it was gonna be now figure it out because that I mean people can get you further faster, but you absorb more and you you you take more in when you do it yourself.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not gonna get into the neuron coding practices of all that right now, but it's it's your brain when it's actually learning and and you're figuring it out compared to someone just telling you, it's it's night and day for your brain.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: How many times has someone told you what to do?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, what did they say?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, compared to, oh yeah, I did this and I can do this.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I love I love the story, man.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: But so when you went from Haiti to Marine Security Guard, since you bring that up, in in Bangkok and Rio, I believe it was, where hesitation could have real consequences to some extent.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: How did the Marine Corps teach you the difference between decision, uh sorry, decisive action is what I was trying to say, and reckless action?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we're Marines, so generally reckless action is what happens first.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: So I respect not always the best decisions are made, however, the one thing that I kind of took from that is a lot of times it's common sense, you know what I mean?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I learned this, and and I had forgotten that I learned it, and a lot of the work that I'm doing now with productive hesitation and the AUF method is that you have to move forward.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of times we don't have the the luxury of time to sit and figure it out.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, we're taking fire from over there.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe we should move.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, maybe we should go behind that wall.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have a lot of time to figure this out.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: I just got to move, right?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that can that same thing happens in business, it happens in starting a business, it's it happens in families, it happens in you name the scenario.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: There are times when we could sit and try to do more research and figure things out and get more clarity when that's not gonna help.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: What's gonna give you clarity is just moving forward.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I absolutely love that, and and confidence too, right?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: By taking action, right?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: And and so on.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, when you when you when you say that, uh let's let's talk about action under friction.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think I think that's where people, all the the toxic 10, right?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: So a couple of them are you know, fear of failure, fear of success, and the number one for most human beings is fear of rejection.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's generally what stops people from moving forward, right?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so let's talk about that.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, your work today is really built around that action under friction.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: What exactly is friction here?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: So the audience understands, you know, your perspective on it.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: And is it fear, uncertainty, self-doubt, overthinking, identity, or does it look different for everybody?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: So that that is a great question, Mike.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I get asked this quite a bit.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: What is friction?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: My wife asked me when I said, Oh, it's free, and she's like, What is friction?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, for everybody, it's different, and I'll I'll tell you, for me, it it is generally starts with uncertainty.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm uncertain if anybody wants to buy this.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: So, what is the uncertainty starts to creep in on whatever the goal or the project or the mission is, right?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: You have uncertainty.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: What happens is when that's there, that's when fear creeps in.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: And and I talk about this on the tailgate.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, and the fear of success, right?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: It is the fear of failure.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna fail and fall flat on my face and everybody's gonna ridicule me because I mean everybody knew that wasn't gonna work?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: What are you doing?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Right, I I can't handle that.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: So it it slows me down, it makes me uncertain.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: The fear of failure, the fear of rejection.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: Who's people are like, hey, you know what?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: That great idea, but no.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so with ran that and when we ran our staffing agency that we had, uh my biggest fear was that people were just gonna constantly tell me no, and then there's the fear of success.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds odd, right?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: Fear of success.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: Who's scared of that?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'll tell you, some people are, and I was because it's like, okay, when I started my podcast, all right.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: So people do listen, that's awesome.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: Am I that guy?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: Can I keep coming up with ideas?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: Can I keep moving ideas and forward and creating content?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I got like nine of them.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: That's great.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: Do I stop there?
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: How how do I keep doing this?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: So those fears, they're different for everybody, and they're not uncertainty and fail, you know, all of those kind of fit in together, and but for every person, it's different.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so, what I teach with the the AUF method is you have to understand first off is to acknowledge.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: Acknowledge that there's a problem, acknowledge that something is holding you back, and you have to say it out loud.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know what happens when you say something out loud, it no longer has the weight over you, it no longer has control of you because you've acknowledged it and you've said it.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Now you have to understand where's it coming from?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: So, like when I was trying to do my podcast for the first time, I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh, I need to understand how to how to film it.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Do I need a new camera?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: Do I need a microphone?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: Microphones are out there.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, do I need to buy that?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and then it's like, oh, I need to edit it.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: Editing software.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: I watched editing videos on YouTube for probably two days to understand how to edit when really just doing it, right?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so you have to understand what is holding you back.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: I was doing all this research and trying to gain this clarity when I had all the tools to just go do it, to just move forward.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_02: So once I ex I acknowledge I'm holding myself back.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Well, because I'm scared nobody's gonna watch my podcast.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna spend all this time, I'm gonna go out there, people are gonna laugh at me because I'm putting my heart on my sleeve and I'm saying stuff that my wife's like, you are too open.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: What are you doing?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and so then you have to just move forward.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's the F.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Just take one step forward.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: So it was like, okay, I'm just gonna go film it, and then it's I'm just gonna, oh, this editing, this thing is horrible.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: If you watch my first one, I almost deleted it three times because I'm like, this is then I was like, no, I did it, it's part of the path, it's part of the journey, and I just have to do it, accept it, and move on.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm growing.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: I got out of my comfort zone, and now I'm gonna grow, grow forward from that.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: And they've gotten better as I've gone along.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: I love I love that.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: And here's the thing, right?
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Is stop aiming in the gum and gun and shoot.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because we sit there and we're like, okay, yeah, that looks good, but hey, I need like you said, right?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: I need to learn this and I need to do that.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Same thing with my podcast.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, when I first started, I had no clue.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I did some research and I but I shot the gun, right?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: I fired the gun.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, my wall back there was just like a yellow wall, and I got a sticker up there.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, but it was it was it was the beginning, and like you said, learn you learn from well, you didn't say this, but I'm adding on to what you said about you know, mistakes and and that kind of thing is you learn from your mistakes, you learn from your mistakes way more than you learn from success, because we get lazy with success for most of the time.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna say something, please.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: No, I was gonna say 100%, and that's where the productive hesitation comes in, right?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you if you are constantly working to try to make something better, it's never gonna get better.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: And why is that?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's because you're not putting it out there for critique, you're not putting it out there for criticism, and that's the that's the step forward.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: I the reason I don't move forward a lot of times, and and I have stories and businesses I've started, nonprofits I've started, the podcasts I've started.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: I have one about writing my book, how 10 pages into the book I I got kind of and I didn't really understand why.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Oh, I need to figure out literary agents.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: Let me and I spend a day researching literary agents.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: I got 10 pages.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: What am I doing?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's because I have the dream and I can keep the dream alive and I'm productive and I'm working forward, right?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, at the end of the day, I'm like, wow, look at all the stuff I learned, right?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: But I didn't move a daggum thing forward.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah, I I totally understand.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: I I do.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: I learned it was Vinyu Keller, uh, who's uh an instructor at the neural encoding institute and a peer friend, and she she started the whole stop aiming the gun and fire, and it has stuck with me ever since, you know, because it's so easy to get sidetracked by being prepared.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of high performers call hesitation being prepared, right?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: How do you know?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: I want your perspective on this.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: How do you know when planning is still useful and when it has quietly become just avoidance?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: Another great one because I've had people ask me that very similar question.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying don't prepare.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not saying absolutely don't be productive.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not saying don't hesitate, because then sometimes a tactical pause is what's needed, right?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: We need to understand where we're going before we go.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: However, when we have a general direction, you look at a map and you go, Do I want to go north, south, east, or west, you can sit there for for days and days and days, north, southeast, west, north, southeast, west.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go west.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't need to keep looking at the map anymore, just find a road to the west and go.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so productive hesitation, and if you Google it, it actually is a is a positive thing.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's taking a step back to reassess the situation.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: But I look at it a little different.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: I have a different lens, I have a different scope, if you will, as I'm looking through.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: And that is when productivity uh is is increasing, uh, but movement has stalled.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's productive hesitation.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: When you've got the product ready to launch and ready to go to market, but you're like, well, is that the right color or is that the right code?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: Is this the right thing?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: Let me do a little more research.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's where it's it's gone too far.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's where you're protecting yourself, you're protecting your dream, you're protecting your goal from outside criticism.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: And that's where productive hesitation comes in.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: That I talk about is that you know where you need to go.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: And and sometimes you don't know that you're doing it.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: I I've had that when I named our when we named our staffing agency, we were my wife's like, I want to call it Prisma.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, okay, well, she's from Brazil.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: I met her when I was in Rio de Janeiro almost 30 years ago.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: And and she's like, Well, I'm like, what is a prisma?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: And she said, well, it if you translate it to English, it's Prism.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: And we want our clients to come in with one problem, we'll give them multiple multiple solutions out the other side, just like a light comes in and comes out in multiple colors in a prism.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: But in Portuguese, it's pronounced Prisma.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, okay, nobody will ever get that, but that's fine.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: Let's move forward with that because I love the name and I love the idea and I love the backstory.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: Totally.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: So then my military mind stepped in, and it was like, hey, this might be a great acronym.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: So then I spent the better part of three or four days trying to figure out the acronym for P-R-I-SMA.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: And it was it was well needed and it it was productive.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: However, we hadn't filed the LLC yet, we hadn't found an office yet, we hadn't had a client yet.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm trying to come up with this acronym for the name because it made me feel like I'm being productive and I'm doing something that's important.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Now it worked out because Prism stands for pride, respect, integrity, strength, motivation, and accountability.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: Those are the core values that we ran the business by, the core values that we live by, core values I still judge everything I do today on.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: However, I could have came up with that three months later and been just as good and launched the business and started looking for clients three months earlier.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I had productive hesitation, but I didn't recognize it.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I didn't recognize I was putting the cart in front of the horse.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so that that's kind of the key is really, you may recognize and be like, I don't want to take that step.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: You may not even know you're doing it.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love I love I love Prisma, first of all.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: I and and yeah, that's that's great.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: I I I think my question is because I think this is leads exactly from what you were saying, is what are some tips, some thoughts how to not get stuck there, or how to realize you're there and snap yourself out of the spin cycle.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: And that that's where AUF comes in.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's where the action under friction method comes in.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: I have the goal is to teach this to people to where they they they recognize it before they normally would.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: If I had this when I was when we were founding Prisma, if I had this when I was starting my podcast, if I had this when I was writing my book, I would have recognized because now I do it.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: I actually have a sticky note on my computer that says, Am I waiting or am I acting?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: And and so I the idea is that if you have the action under friction method and you have it ingrained, you'll and I do it, Mike.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: I do it on a daily basis.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'll sit there and I'll be like, Oh, I gotta do this, and then all of a sudden my phone dings, and I'm like, Oh, what's over here?
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_02: And oh, somebody liked my post.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, now the endorphins start going, and I'm like, ooh, that and now it's like 30 minutes later, and I'm like, ugh, stop, take a breath.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: What's what's holding me back?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: What was so important?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't that this other thing was important, it's that I have fear of this.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so now I acknowledge it.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: Now I understand it.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Now let's just move forward.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: So having people understand the action and the friction method will help them realize where they're at and know if they're doing to come up with this acronym for the business before I've even formed the business.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: Do I really need to look for literary agents when I'm on page 15 of a 200?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Page book?
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: Just do that when the book's written.
• 22:04
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: And here's just a quick little neuroencoding tip.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: When you realize that you're doing it, I'm not saying you specifically, but please feel free to use it.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um realize and go, ah, and smile.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Pat yourself on the back for realizing it.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because what happens is when you smile, it releases a bunch of amazing hormones that your brain is looking next time, going, hey, what was that?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: That was amazing.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it looks for it again.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: So it will help you faster to catch yourself next time.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it is something that you need to do.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a one-done kind of thing, right?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: So you don't go into a gym and come out looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger in one sitting, right?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: So you got to build that muscle.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a really simple, easy exercise that's actually kind of fun because you catch yourself and you're just like, ah, and smile and patch yourself on the back.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: But it strengthens and creates new neural pathways that helps you to move past it where later on you won't even think about it.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: You'll just keep taking action.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: So just a quick tip there.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, man.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so you talked about getting involved with the VFW and veteran organizations, obviously, and rediscovering community structure and purpose.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Did action create that sense of purpose, or did you have to find purpose before you could act?
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I think that the purpose was always there because one of the things I discovered in myself when I was one thing I'm as I've gotten older is reflect more and look back and found that that's an important thing to do.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_02: In the military, we call it an AAR, an after action review.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: And and so I try to do that more frequently as I've as I've gotten older.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: I think what it was was the purpose was always there.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: My purpose for me, and generally for people, but for me, it's for serve to serve, right?
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: But to serve a sub subset, and and it actually goes even deeper than that, Mike.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: I had gotten out of the Marine Corps in '98, then 2001 happened.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and my wife was like four or five months pregnant, and I was actually unemployed at the time and contemplated going back in.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: Number one, I needed a job.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: Number two, you know, we were under attack.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, as a young man, you're growing up, especially those of us who joined the military, young men, young woman, joined the military because we want to protect the homeland.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: We want to be a part of something greater than ourselves.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: And at that point in my life, I was not a part of something greater than myself.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: But to go be a part of that mission would have been, and my wife asked me, please don't go.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: You've already served.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm pregnant, and I'm the only one here.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: My mom, my sister, my brother, they all live in Rio de Janeiro.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: I really don't want to be here alone.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so I took that and I said, Okay, now there was a piece of me that was always left, right?
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: That wonders and and wanted to go serve.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: 2008, 2009, when I got involved with the VFW, it's because an old man walked up to me and said, Do you say you were in the Marine Corps?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Yeah, he goes, You should come to the VFW.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, You know what, Mr.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: Hervin?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's funny that you say that.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: I've been a member since 1995.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: I've just never walked into one.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: My dad was our post commander back home, and and he signed me up for a lifetime membership.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: I just never went.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's for old guys, right?
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: That's where they go.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: They sit around and tell war stories and smoke unfiltered lucky strikes and and drink beer.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so I went and then I and I'm like, oh, this is where I need to be.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: This is who I need to be helping.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: So my mission and my purpose transformed from when I was in the military and I was serving my brothers and sisters, and we were part of a mission, to now it's serving them as they get out and to help them navigate that transition and help and through a myriad of different ways that I did that.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's the purpose was always there.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: Long answer to a short question.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: The purpose was always there.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: I just needed to rediscover it.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: And then when I found it, it was like, holy cow, I'm supposed to have been here the whole time.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's and I I think we as human beings do that a lot, right?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because our mind kind of protects us and and does all the stuff.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, yeah, that's not for me, it's not for me.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: But then when you find out, man, I I missed not the regret, but just I missed out on that because you learn from it, right?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: So it's never regret when you learn a gift from something.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I that's fantastic.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: So we're getting a little low on time, but there is one more question that it goes with what we're talking about that I really want everyone to get your perspective on because I think it's very important.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, your message, of course, you know, execution under pressure uh is execution under pressure.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: When pressure is high, why do some very capable people freeze even though they already know exactly what they should do?
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: I I think it comes down to those things we talked about earlier.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: It comes down to the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of success.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: And and then there's there's a myriad of other ones that you can fit in there, like dot, dot, dot, underline, fill in the blank.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: For me, it's those three, but for many others, it can be any of that.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what holds you back.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: You know what you need to do.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: Some cases, like I said before, we don't always know that we're in a productive hesitation cycle.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: We don't know it, we just don't realize it about ourselves.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: But in some cases, we know I'm a sales guy and I know I need to call that client because he's upset, but man, I really don't want to.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: I just and I'll do it tomorrow, and then I'll do it on Friday.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he didn't answer.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's Friday, he's on the golf course.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'll call him back on Monday, right?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: You're putting these things off because of the reaction you're gonna get, the fear of what's gonna be said, the fear of the conversation, the fear of the action, the fear of whatever it is that you're gonna deal with.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: It we're humans, and so we kind of take a step away from those things.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: It that that is a snake.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_02: Is that yellow and blue?
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: Is that yellow and green?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: Is that gonna bite me?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: Is it gonna, you know, what if right?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: We step back from those things that create some kind of hesitation within ourselves, and that's where that you know, when you're dealing with pressure, especially if you're in some type of leadership role and you've got a team under you.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: Do I really want to have a conversation with Jeffrey because he keeps showing up late and he's putting the team behind schedule?
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: I need to, but he's a fiery guy, and you know, where's that gonna lead?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: And is he gonna quit?
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: And then I don't need that, you know.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's all these things that just we get in our own heads a lot of times, and we get in our own damn way.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: I've said that on the tailgate.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we just get in our own damn way, and we have to understand how to navigate that.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I that I I love exactly what you said there because our brain is always trying to protect us.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: That that literally is the main function of the brain, and the thoughts that we think, how often are they reality?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: Your thoughts your reality, you know?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because with how many conversations have you had or things come up that you need to deal with?
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go that route, whatever that means.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: Did did it actually all the fears and all the thoughts that you had come true?
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: Usually, none of it does.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: Usually none of it does.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's we've put ourselves in there and we know that mom's gonna yell at us, we know that dad's gonna take this away, we know that our wives are gonna get angry, but in reality, we we we we play it out, we play it out, we play it out.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: In reality, it's like, oh, okay, great.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: Well that why didn't I do this last week?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly, exactly.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I I just think that's a uh that's really important thing for people to realize.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: And and when you're having those thoughts, stop and think just for a second.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is this true?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: Is this really true?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: What proof do I have this is true?
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it usually will get you out of that thought pattern in the first place.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just a thought there.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I do is it okay if it goes a couple minutes over?
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm good.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I just got one date with you, man.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: I got it.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm enjoying this very much.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so you know, with with the program that you have, you know, uh action under friction for a veteran or top performer, people in general, let's go with that.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: If they've been waiting for months, getting ready, what can they do in the next 24 hours?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: In I'd even say 24 minutes before everything else steps in, right?
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: Before their brain gives them another reason to wait, what's an action they can do?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: They just have to move.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: They know what they need to do, they know what the next step is, 100%.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: And in fact, in my workshop, at the end of my the handout that I give everybody, we work through these processes, this this method in lifetime with something that they're currently dealing with or something they've dealt with in the past.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: And at the end of the workshop, it actually, in fact, let me make sure I get it right.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: It says, What is the benefit of moving this forward?
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: What is the benefit of not moving forward?
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then it says, My commitment is the action I will take is they write it down, and I will complete it by fill in the date, fill in the time frame, and then it's I will hold myself accountable by, and so this isn't me telling them how to fix it.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: This isn't me.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I didn't go to Hobbit.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm not that smart of a guy, I'm just a guy who's had lived experience and and have had a uh something put on my heart to share this story.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: I wholeheartedly believe that my Lord and Savior told me that I need to be saying this, and I this is I there's somebody out there, whether they're on this call, they're in a workshop I'm doing, whatever it is, they need to hear this because I'm not the only one who's experienced these things.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's it's a human condition.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: Please go ahead.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's a human condition, 100%.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: So the idea is that at the end of the workshop, they will fill this out.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: Now that whether they follow it or not, it's completely up to them.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: Whether they listen to it or not, it's up to them.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: But they took a step and they moved for it.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's what I say to anybody who's dealing with that right now.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: Grab a piece of paper, grab your little pen, and right now, where you're sitting, write down what the thing is that you're not doing, and then write to yourself, when will you address it?
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: And then say the benefit of addressing it is you do those things because whether you're in a cycle and you don't know that you're in a productive hesitation cycle, you can now look at after hearing this, and you can look at it and go, wait a minute, I really should have launched this a week ago, a month ago.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: I should have made that phone call two days ago, four days ago.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: I should have done X, Y, or Z, and you know it, and you just didn't realize it.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: Now, or you're the person who's like, Man, I really don't want to call, you know, the boss because X happened.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: You just just do it.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: You just have to take a step.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: And here's what happens with the action under friction.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: Once you realize you move forward and you take that step forward, you don't have to solve the problem in one step.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: Just take one small step and then stop and reassess.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: Did that work?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: Did that move me forward?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: Because here's what happens we get in our bubble, we get in, we're comfortable, you know, eating bonbons, you know, watching Oprah Winfrey and or whatever the case may be, and we're just comfortable because we're in our comfort zone.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: We have to get out of that.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: But what happens is once you do it once, you now know you can do it.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: And now you've got what they what they call is growth, right?
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: You've taken a step, your now comfort zone has gotten a little bigger.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_02: Now you can take another step, and now you can repeat those actions, and those actions are repeatable.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: And and that's it's a whole nother thing.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna have another another day, is the SOP.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Standard operating procedure for your life, standard operating procedure for for what you're doing, and you have to create systems, which is what I've done, and this would probably be another topic, but create systems so that you can create consistency and you can keep moving forward.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: I love it, and there's so many things that you said in there.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, you start off your your form there with creating leverage, right?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because all of our decisions, subconsciously and consciously, are made based on pain pleasure principle, right?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: How much pain do I have to go through to get that reward?
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so our when you can change that or you bring it to light, it changes the game.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you you you have that as the beginning of your form.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just absolutely fantastic.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, Cliff, for for everyone listening who wants to learn more about your action under friction, your execution under pressure speaking, tailgate chat, or anything, you know, the work you're doing with veterans and leaders, what's the best way to connect with you?
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: The best way is go to execution under pressure speaker.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's really long.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_02: Every website is taken execution under pressure speaker.com.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_02: You can go to tailgate chatpodcast.com.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: Or the easiest way, if somebody out there is like, I want to learn more, type in Cliff Saucerman in the googs.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_02: I am literally the only one on the planet.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: I come up, number one, just type in cliff sausaman, and and there I am.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: Reach out hit through the website, execution under pressure speaker.com.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_02: You can you can send me a contact form, you can send me an my emails on there, shoot me an email.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: Would love to chat any one of the social medias, you know, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X, YouTube, LinkedIn.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_02: Love to connect and have conversations.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's what this is all about.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_02: This isn't for me.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_02: This is for me to share with your audience and others out there who may need to be hearing it right now.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I'm a little jealous.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: I just have to tell you that you you're the only one because Mike Cole or Michael Cole, there's a lot.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: There's a few.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: So good for you, my friend.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: As we know, time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: We don't get it back.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Cliff, thank you for spending this moment in time to help our mission and make a difference.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: My pleasure.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: What a great conversation.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've loved it as well.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if something in today's conversation resonated with you, don't just move on to the next thing.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sit with it for a minute.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's a reason why it gave you goosebumps or you said, uh huh, sit with it for a minute, you know, and so you can take an action because there's a reason.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: And if you know someone who needs to hear this, share this episode with them, please.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: You can also join us at your thoughts, your reality.com where we continue these conversations around identity, transition, resilience, and growth.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: And remember, your thoughts shape your reality.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: We're out of here.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of Your Thoughts, your reality podcast with your host, Michael Cole.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: We hope the conversation sparks some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit EmpowerPerformance Strategies.com.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, your thoughts make your reality to make them happen.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: Catch you on the next episode.