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Lean Into Legacy with JJ The Battle Within A Marine’s Guide to Confronting Your Inner Critic · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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  We're giving veterans a voice today, powered by Work Simple,
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  where we simplify your mission and it's on the web at MB Radio
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  dot. Catch me every military Monday
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  night at 8:00 PM Eastern for Lean Into Legacy.
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  Well, hello everyone, and welcome to the show.
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  I first want to start off by thanking my listeners, thanking
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  my supporters. Christian, I'm going to give you
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  a good intro in a second here. But I know you know, but my
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  listeners know that the last 6-7 weeks now has been incredibly
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  hard. I lost my lifelong best friend,
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  the marvelous, beautiful, magnificent Mindy Durant sins.
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  And while I was gone, so many of you reached out and showed your
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  love and showed your support. And I can't thank you enough.
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  You all times like that, it is so hard and it really makes such
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  a huge difference when you have community, friends, loved ones
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  that are there to support you. So I want to thank you all for
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  being there for me, for being patient with with with me while
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  we took a little hiatus from the podcast.
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  But I'm glad you're all here now.
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  And I have a very special guest for you.
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  This is my good friend, Christian Navarro.
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  And Christian is a former Marine and that's all he wanted me to
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  say for his intro. You know, typical Marine for
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  you. But I think Christian is much
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  more than just a former Marine. He's a father, He's a husband.
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  He is a friend. He is a confidant.
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  He is a brilliant mind who has been through significant trials
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  and tribulations and has come out on the other end and is
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  ready to help people and support people.
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  And he's an author. Christian, welcome to the show.
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  Thank you. Thank you, JJ Appreciate it.
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  Good to be here. Hello everyone.
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  Yes and you know I decided I want to kick off our shows from
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  now on with a new a new pattern, a new what's the word routine?
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  I guess so. I don't know if y'all have ever
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  seen blurry creatures or listen to it.
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  Have you heard of it, Christian? No, that that's the first time
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  I've ever heard of. It blurry creatures is
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  phenomenal. Y'all, I cannot highlight this
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  podcast enough. You can watch it on YouTube.
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  You can find it anywhere. You can find podcasts and I'm
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  telling y'all, it is. It'll blow your mind.
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  You have to check it out. But Long story short, they
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  started the show by just talking about Bigfoot.
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  And so now it's grown to something so much bigger
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  Christian. But but they still, because
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  that's how they started off the show.
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  You know, every guest that comes on, the first thing they say is
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  what's your thoughts on Bigfoot? So we're going to come up with
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  our own, you know, start to every show.
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  And since we're all about creating legacy and we're all
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  about helping people to be the best versions of themselves,
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  something that's so important is that you have a gratitude
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  practice. So every podcast we start off
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  from now on, we're going to talk about 3 good things that we are
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  thankful for. So Christian, I'm going to give
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  you a second to think about yours.
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  Why I shout out mine real quick. And for you, the listener, I
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  want you to think about that. You know, as you're hearing
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  Christian and I mention our things, I want you to come down.
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  If you've got a pen nearby, grab a piece of paper and write down
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  what are three things that you're grateful for.
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  So for me, Christian, I am grateful to still be alive.
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  And I wasn't always because after, you know, some of the
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  hard times leaving the military and especially after losing my
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  best friend, I didn't want to be here.
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  But God is good. And I realized if I'm still
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  here, he still has something for me.
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  And so I'm grateful for that, that even though, you know,
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  let's be honest here, if you look down the bench and he saw
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  me sitting there with my head down, like I don't want to be
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  here. God, you know, I don't think he
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  would put me in. I'm not, I'm not at times, not
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  the star player, but he put me in.
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  And so I'm thankful for God. I am so grateful for friends and
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  family. Like I said, y'all that
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  supported me during the the last 6-7 weeks have been incredible.
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  And the third thing I'm great grateful for Christian is my
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  amazing neighbor who is just like the most incredible friend
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  and the most amazing cook. You know when she knows that I'm
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  busy, she will cook me a meal and it'll all be.
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  So good. Yes.
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  So today she brought me over Adas polo.
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  So not pollo, not chicken. That's in Persian Farsi, but it
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  was just the most delicious dish.
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  So that's why I'm grateful. Christian, you at home, I want
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  you to be thinking about what are the three things you're
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  grateful for and Christian, and you know what, we had a chat
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  going here, so put it in the chat.
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  What are the three things you're grateful grateful for?
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  Or even give us one and Christian will give you some of
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  his three. Yeah.
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  So I'd say the very first one, God salvation, I think what was
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  done. And I think I've, I've grown a
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  lot more like at first I wouldn't read the Bible as much,
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  but now that I've grown older, I'm like picking it up every day
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  and reading, reading parts of it.
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  And I think the if you haven't done it, I would suggest looking
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  at the the series, the chosen, because it puts it in such good
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  chronological order. And you're just like, man, just
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  to have seen some of those miracles that he's done, the
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  healings. And you know how that all went
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  down just to give you that perspective.
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  It was just, you know, I'm forever thankful, you know, for
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  that and for the salvation, you know, for our sins and such.
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  Always reminds me. The second one would definitely
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  be family and friends love, you know, it showing not, you know,
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  it doesn't have to be there every day, but to show me when I
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  need the most that that was there, you know, whenever they
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  tried was just always trying to listen in and be like, OK,
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  what's what's going on here? Like, why am I suffering here as
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  such? And, you know, I think they've
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  always, always having to have them by my side, you know,
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  especially my daughter, just stubborn.
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  It could be, but stubborn with, with loving me even, you know,
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  when I didn't deserve it, I, I felt that way, you know, I was
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  just like, you know, I get the opportunity to be a dad and she
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  loves me unconditionally. So, you know, even having
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  friends that I consider like family, those are huge.
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  And I'll, I'll always like hard for those relationships with
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  them. The last one took me a bit
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  because I was just like 3 things.
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  I was like, man, how can I, which way am I going to go with
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  this? But I learned a lot from my
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  mistakes. And so I am grateful that I made
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  those mistakes because it has led me to where I'm at now, you
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  know, of understanding who I am, what I stand for, and just
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  knowing I haven't given up yet. And I still keep fighting.
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  That's so powerful, Christian. And I don't see any comments yet
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  and y'all, I see the numbers here.
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  I see we've got people that are with us.
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  So I want to know, put it in the chat, what are you grateful for?
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  Because I'm telling y'all one thing, if you even put cause
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  yourself for 30 seconds to think about one thing you're grateful
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  for, it's going to elevate your mood.
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  You might be having a bad day or something's not going well.
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  And this is actually an exercise in positive psychology.
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  And it's, it's called a gratitude journal.
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  So every day you should write three things that you're
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  grateful for. And why, why are you grateful
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  for them? And I don't see those comments
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  yet. Where are you?
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  And I want to know who's with us right now.
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  I'm really excited because Christian, I have some amazing
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  friends that usually join. So I'm really excited to see
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  who's with us. But you know, like I talked to
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  you before the podcast, I'm not doing this for numbers.
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  You know, I am not worried about watching the count of who's
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  viewing. I'm doing this because there is
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  one person out there that I know needs to hear Christian's story.
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  And so we are having a conversation between me,
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  Christian, and you, and I'm thankful that you found this
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  message because I know God will bring it to you and he will help
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  you through what you're going through by hearing somebody else
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  that's been there. Man, can I just tell you, I feel
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  so bad? I didn't I didn't say salvation
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  as one of my gratitude. That should always be a
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  gratitude, right? Like I think especially for
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  people that know Jesus already, it's like, you're like, oh,
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  thank God, I'm saved. You know, I'm I'm going to live
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  in eternity for heaven. And it becomes this thing that's
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  kind of like in the background and you don't really think about
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  it. And then you kind of take it for
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  granted. And a pastor was talking to me
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  one time and he said, Jen, Can you imagine if you owed 10
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  lifetimes worth of debt? Imagine like, I don't know how
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  much money the average person makes, you know, in their
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  lifetime. Let's just say it's 1.5 million.
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  Maybe that's low, you know, but let's just say that's the
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  average person makes 1.5 million in their lifetime.
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  And let's say you owe $10 million to somebody.
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  And if. They said, I'm going to take
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  that debt for you, right? Would you not be like screaming
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  in the streets and like crying and just like so overwhelmed?
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  That's what Jesus does for us. He literally suffered, died on
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  the cross, the most horrific crucifixion, and He did it for
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  us so that no matter how wretched we are, no matter how
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  much we mess up, no matter how shameful we are, He took away
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  our sins. If we call out to Him and we
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  surrender those sins to Him, and we asked to be cleaned in his
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  blood. Can you imagine if you owed $10
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  million and it was just wiped away like that?
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  I think the thing and I've had to have a talk with my wife
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  about this because you know, you go to church and it feels good,
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  right, Like you feel like, all right, check in the box.
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  Got it. You know, like I've done my
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  thing for the week and then Monday morning hits boom and
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  you're back to your normal self again.
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  So you know, it falls in line with you know, if if you're
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  healthy and there's nothing wrong with you, you have a ton
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  of problems to deal with. But if you're sick, you only
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  have one problem that's worrying for you.
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  Yeah, I think that goes for a lot of people.
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  You know, when everything is good and fine, it's easy to get
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  lost. You know, as, as I'd like to say
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  in the necessities of life, Right.
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  Going to work, then we have to have a family.
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  You got to take your kids to from, you know, sports practice
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  or schools and such. You got to worry about dinner.
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  And then by the time you cook dinner, it's just like, you know
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  what, I I need a break. I want to unwind, Let me doom
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  scroll on social media or watch a movie.
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  And you know, you don't want to like think about anything else.
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  And it's just all right, you know, And I feel like the
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  message could heal a lot more at church if having that, that
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  resounding mindset kind of come back in time before, look, it's
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  easy to get lost out there. It's easy to just go about your
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  way day in and day out, you know?
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  But then something's going to just get your attention and it's
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  going to, it's like, it feels like Groundhog Day.
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  Yeah. I Christian, I don't mean to
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  interrupt our float, but here's one of the people I was telling
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  you about. South Kat Mahoney is my sister
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  and she will always be my sister.
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  I love you Kat, I love you and I miss you so much and it just
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  lights up my heart to see your name on here.
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  And Kat says, I think it's sometimes when we think of
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  gratitude, we think it has to be for the big things.
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  But I found life is most precious in the small moments.
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  I don't know why but this didn't make me cry.
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  Kat, if we have to wait for the big moments of gratitude, we
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  might get lost before it happens.
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  Oh yeah, I think that one hit home.
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  And so boot camp, like San Diego, that's where I went to
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  Marine Corps recruit people, San Diego, and you see the the
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  aircraft taking off because the airport's like right behind
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  MCRD, right? And I remember going there
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  knowing like it was like 3 days after high school graduation.
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  So I literally passed by Disneyland and that's where the
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  rest of the high school students were at.
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  And I'm, I'm driving towards MC ID and that charter bus.
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  But one of the things I, I look towards to was walking on the
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  sidewalks and just to be able to do that.
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  And I was just like, I'm looking forward to that moment to be
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  able just to walk on the sidewalk in Blackpool.
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  I've made it here and I know why I get that opportunity.
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  So yeah, definitely figure there Cat those small moments, those
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  small little things, they add up and when those big thing hits,
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  it's awesome. It's nice.
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  You ride the wave as much as you can, but yeah, those small
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  things in the most. Thanks so much for that, Kat and
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  Christian. I am knowing we're going to have
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  continue having a great conversation, but right now
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  we've got to take a short commercial break.
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  We'll be right back after this. We haven't even scratched the
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  surface of the good stuff. I haven't even scratched the
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  surface of the good stuff. So, you know, I want to just
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  real quickly tell the story of how you and I met.
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  This is actually the first time I think we're meeting face to
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  face. So a friend of mine was on a
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  plane back from Iceland and Christian just happened to sit
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  next to him and they had an amazing conversation and my
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  friend said you know what I think I need to introduce you to
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  someone and Christian you know I contacted him and in meeting, I
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  don't know if you guys have had this experience but have you
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  ever met someone and you just instantly hit it off like you
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  feel like you've known them all the time?
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  OK, sorry I got to pause the story for one second.
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  So Jose Flores Hola MI amigo que Faso.
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  Jose is so awesome Christian, you have to meet him.
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  Jose also has a show on MBR and he says good evening JJ and
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  Christian. Great interview.
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  So my take on gratitude. I'm grateful not because my
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  journey has been easy, come on, but because every chapter, good,
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  bad, painful and beautiful, helped shape the man I am today
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  and gave me something I can use to help somebody else tomorrow.
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  Amen, Amen, Amen and Amen. And Jose, I'm so glad that
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  you're here with us. Y'all have to check out his
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  show. It's just incredible.
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  Jose, can you put the name of your show and and maybe a way
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  that people can find you in the chat and I don't know is my is
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  my video messing up here? Is it just me, Christian or?
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  No, it's, it's, yeah, it's a little bit lagging.
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  OK y'all better not be making fun of my weird faces.
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  I know that's what I do. I take a screenshot.
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  Oh, great. I just gave people an idea
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  anyways. But Jose actually for me is like
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  that too. Christian, we just met the other
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  day and we just connected one-on-one.
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  And then that's what happened with you.
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  And I like, I don't know if you felt this way, but there is just
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  such a camaraderie, A rapport that happens automatically when
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  you are willing to be vulnerable.
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  And thanks Jose for putting this up.
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  You guys got to check him out. He's on MBR radio as well.
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  But there is just such a magical thing that happens when you're
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  willing to be vulnerable and share with somebody because all
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  that pretext falls off, you know, and and all of a sudden
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  you're connecting soul to soul. Yeah.
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  I think it's hard because I mean, for anybody to open
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  yourself up, you're just like, like, no, like I'm, I'm not, I'm
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  not going to do that 'cause some of us aren't, aren't happy about
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  it. And I think the biggest thing is
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  we're fearful of other people seeing the parts we're not proud
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  of, you know, like the mistakes that we've made in the past.
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  And we feel we're going to be judged by it from these people,
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  you know, and it could hold anyone back.
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  You know, you you have that fear and it will stop you Denning
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  your tracks from trying to open and have a good having a good
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  conversation or someone that you meet like man, that could have
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  been a lot long friend. I could have met right there if
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  I would have opened up a little bit.
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  But it's it's hard. You know, it's not easy.
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  Nothing for anybody. I mean, not just, you know,
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  military, but for anyone to just open up that way.
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  But if you put out just a little bit to see if they're willing
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  to, to take that hand, you know, and be like, yeah, I've felt
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  like that way before too. You know, I've, you know, I've,
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  I've done that as well. You know, I've felt bad about,
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  you know, some of the mistakes I've made.
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  I'm not proud of it. I don't want anybody here about
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  it. Then you're just like, OK, well,
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  all right. You know, they feel the same way
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  too, because I'm not the only one here and you're not, you
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  know, But internally, if you just keep it inside the whole
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  time and it's just up here, yeah, it's just going to
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  exacerbate. You're just going to fall into
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  rumination and it's going to be Groundhog Day again every single
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  day. And that's it.
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  Say right, you know, oh, same problems, different day.
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  Yeah, absolutely. So is my voice still keeping up?
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  It's just the video that's lagging.
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  Yeah, just a video. Oh man, so Cat says that's the
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  reality of life. We just want to feel connected.
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  As soon as you give to someone, you will get in return.
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  Boo, let's go Cat. I couldn't agree with that more.
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  Yeah, I think I think you have to kind of be careful, right,
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  Because you might open up and it's a goes the opposite where
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  they use that information and try to use it against you or
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  they talk about you, right easily leaving a sour taste in
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  your mouth. You know, I have a friend where
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  he was very heavy to just trusting and believing somebody
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  that he just met with in a couple of minutes.
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  I was like, I'm looking at it 'cause I'm very well aware, you
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  know, after recruiting duty in trying to sell the Marine Corps
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  to, you know, young high school students and college kids, Like
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  you have to look at the body language to see if this message
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  is connecting. And when my friend would talk
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  to, to some of them, like I would see like, no, don't, don't
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  open up here. Like, what, what are you doing,
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  man? But he would just go in blindly
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  and then down the road he's like, I don't know how this
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  happened. And I'm like, bro, come on now.
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  Like you could, I could have seen that one.
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  But if you see that body language where it's just like
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  for me, I see the shoulders slumping down, it's just like
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  they take that like long breath. You're like, or they're looking
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  and they're nodding their head in the greens because it's just
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  it's connecting with them. You know, you, you start seeing
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  a little bit of that water, the redness in the eye because it's
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  starting to water. That's when you know, like, OK,
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  this is this is like, OK, they're opening up because
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  they're connecting with it. And this is something I could
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  probably try to trust. I just feel like this
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  conversation is so led by the Holy Spirit because do you know,
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  I have been praying on this so hard, Christian, because I've
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  gone through some really, you know, not fun experiences in my
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  life. And for example, one of them was
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  so, you know, devastating that I disappeared off the face of the
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  earth for 10 years. You know, I, I got off all
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  social media. I had no friends except those
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  that were like, really, really there, you know, that really
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  knew me. And I did not do anything except
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  for work and go home for 10 years.
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  And I think about all the people I missed out on.
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  And it was exactly what you were talking about, all of what was
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  going on in my head. All people are judging me.
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  I'm so ashamed, you know, all these things.
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  And can I just say, Christian, you know, because we're going to
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  get into your book in a second here, but I just want to give
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  people hope that we this is something that is a true battle
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  dealing with the inner critic, which is the book that Christian
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  wrote. We're going to talk about that
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  book in a second. But you know, when you come to
• 27:37
  know that you are a child of God and you understand how much God
• 27:42
  loves you, it's like nothing else matters, you know?
• 27:49
  And I think that's also a lie of the enemy to get us stuck on our
• 27:52
  shame and to really, like, put a spotlight on us and make us feel
• 27:58
  like we're such a horrible human being.
• 28:01
  And because if he can get us ashamed and get us stuck in our
• 28:06
  head and wanting to hide from the world, we're missing out on
• 28:10
  community. We're miss out, missing out on
• 28:13
  having conversations with other people that are going through
• 28:16
  what we're going through. Because guess what?
• 28:18
  Doesn't matter what you're going through, there's somebody else
• 28:20
  going through it too. Oh, yeah, I were seen in the, I
• 28:24
  want to say it was a Shawn Ryan show for one of his short clips
• 28:28
  where I can't remember which father he had on there, but he
• 28:33
  was talking about like, if the devil knows he has you, he's not
• 28:38
  wasting his time on you because he already has you.
• 28:42
  But if you're 1, if you're one of the ones that believes in
• 28:47
  God, he's going to come after you.
• 28:50
  He's going to keep coming after you.
• 28:51
  And I was just like, all right, we'll bring it on, man.
• 28:55
  That's so good, Christian, because I think that's also a
• 28:59
  tool for helping to overcome the inner critic and to overcome
• 29:04
  shame is knowing like, hey, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm nobody, if
• 29:09
  I'm not meant for greatness, I'm not somebody who's going to make
• 29:11
  an impact in this world, then why would he care about me?
• 29:15
  He's not you. Like you said, he's not wasting
• 29:17
  his time on you. He's trying to find the
• 29:20
  warriors, the ones that are going to step out into the
• 29:26
  world, going to speak life into other people, going to be
• 29:29
  loving, going to be supporting, going to be a shoulder to cry on
• 29:34
  and going to be a voice, you know, that calls out in the
• 29:37
  night. And he wants to silence us and
• 29:40
  and I'll tell you one thing. He's I mean, if I add up all the
• 29:42
  years he's silenced me, it it's probably a third of my life
• 29:46
  Christian, but. It wasn't waste.
• 29:51
  Now, you know, like I think looking back at that time, even
• 29:56
  for some, like even for you, I don't know how you you perceive
• 29:58
  that time as either being wasted.
• 30:01
  But for me it would be looking at it, it was in preparation.
• 30:08
  You had to be tested. And you know, plenty of books,
• 30:11
  you know, plenty of stories in the Bible, like Job having
• 30:15
  everything that God was like, I know Job, he's a faithful
• 30:21
  believer. You will never let me down.
• 30:24
  And saying it was like, Are you sure about this?
• 30:27
  And taking it all away and still kept this faith knowing that
• 30:33
  like, hey, I'm saved no matter what.
• 30:36
  I know I'm saved. And you know, for those long
• 30:39
  trials and tribulations that we have, it was something that we
• 30:43
  had to go through. And I'd, I'd like to say is OK,
• 30:47
  You know, during those tough times, what's being expected of
• 30:50
  you, you know, and that's what I usually tell myself now.
• 30:53
  It's like, am I asked to display what I've learned and I'm being
• 30:59
  asked to grow? Am I being asked to learn
• 31:03
  something new? Or am I asked to to be able to
• 31:06
  observe right now? And that helps me out so much.
• 31:13
  And, you know, seeing the things a lot more clear and not just
• 31:17
  focusing on negative things like, OK, cool.
• 31:21
  And I think the big thing is not dwelling on it so much because
• 31:28
  it's it's easy to recognize it. But if you just stay there, man,
• 31:34
  you'll just be stuck in that, in that circle of just pain, hurt,
• 31:38
  you're not going to get anywhere.
• 31:41
  Yeah, absolutely Christian and and I'm so excited to dig into
• 31:44
  this a little bit more right after this commercial break.
• 32:46
  None. All right, and we're back.
• 33:17
  We're back, so we left off talking Christian about what you
• 33:25
  feel like God is asking you during those challenging times.
• 33:29
  And the psychology behind this is actually fascinating because
• 33:34
  one thing we learn in psychology is that nothing has any meaning
• 33:42
  except for the meaning you give it.
• 33:45
  I'm going to say that again. Nothing has any meaning except
• 33:49
  the meaning that you give it. So what happens, Christian, when
• 33:55
  instead of focusing on the woe is me or the pain or the hurt or
• 34:01
  the suffering? And now don't get me wrong,
• 34:02
  that's part of the grieving process, right?
• 34:05
  But what happens for you when you ask yourself those
• 34:10
  questions? And maybe if you could tell us a
• 34:14
  story about a time that you were really going through it, and
• 34:20
  walk us through how asking yourself those questions changed
• 34:24
  your life. Yeah.
• 34:26
  So you have so much information that's being tossed at you, so
• 34:33
  many resources. And because you have so much out
• 34:38
  there, it feels like you have nothing at times because you're
• 34:41
  just like, I don't know where to start.
• 34:43
  I don't know what to do. And so, you know, for me, having
• 34:48
  come in into the Marine Corps right after 911 and knowing I
• 34:53
  was going to go into there, it was easy.
• 34:57
  The mindset to kind of see the culture within the Marine Corps.
• 35:00
  It was get the job done. You don't talk about what's
• 35:05
  going on as far as your inner stuff.
• 35:07
  You just keep keep doing your job and that's it.
• 35:11
  You keep going on like that. And for me, I want to say the
• 35:17
  hardest time that I've had and was after leaving recruiting
• 35:25
  duties. So this would be in 2014,
• 35:31
  because right after that I had gone back to the same unit I had
• 35:36
  left. So I knew a lot of the Marines
• 35:39
  there. I knew most of them, you know,
• 35:41
  now except being, you know, young Marines that were
• 35:46
  actually, you know, they were the NCO's to not commissioned
• 35:48
  officers. So I would talk to them and they
• 35:50
  would tell me, you know, no one's fighting for us.
• 35:53
  No one's really helping us out. And I was like, OK, cool.
• 35:59
  So I worked my butt off to try to get back to them.
• 36:03
  And by the time I did, you know, I was playing in 12 plus hours
• 36:11
  every day. And this was right after I had,
• 36:15
  you know, my baby daughter was just born.
• 36:18
  So I'd come home tired, exhausted from giving everything
• 36:22
  to the Marine Corps and coming back.
• 36:25
  And then my wife's looking for help with the with our
• 36:28
  daughters. So I try to do as much as I can.
• 36:30
  But man, it was it was tough. Yeah, we could have had family,
• 36:36
  but when we asked, it was no, no one was ever to stay with us
• 36:40
  compared to, like, you know, some of our other family
• 36:43
  members. I got a lot more help as such.
• 36:45
  So I think at that time, I was tired.
• 36:50
  I was at my lowest. I was just asking like, OK,
• 36:56
  what's being asked me right now? Because it brought it, it
• 37:00
  centered me and it centered me in the way of capturing my
• 37:05
  attention and figuring out, OK, that does.
• 37:09
  I just don't want to survive this.
• 37:11
  I just don't need to kind of go through that.
• 37:13
  It's not the way I want to kind of keep going on.
• 37:16
  And when I started asking those questions, it hit home because
• 37:23
  it was less like, OK, let me reset here and see exactly what
• 37:30
  I need to do to kind of get out of this.
• 37:34
  And I kept working, kept doing. I'll try to be even more helpful
• 37:39
  at home with my daughter. I think I still needed a break.
• 37:46
  And that break came afterwards once I got moved to a different
• 37:49
  unit because I just went so hard in focusing on the Marine Corps
• 37:56
  and making sure my guys were trained up because they're
• 37:58
  they're going to deploy. I definitely needed that break
• 38:02
  from that. And I need a break so hard that
• 38:07
  I let myself go in the sense that I wasn't the leader that I
• 38:10
  could have been at that next unit.
• 38:13
  And so that took even more time to kind of figure that out
• 38:17
  because I was just like, man, I'm so tired.
• 38:19
  Like I put in so much time over there.
• 38:22
  I gave up everything. You know, I had a lot more time
• 38:25
  to myself. But even then, it's just felt
• 38:27
  like, OK, I have to be on still. But it still pushed Drew.
• 38:33
  And really what helped out the most was continuing to like read
• 38:42
  books because I would get a lot from them and I would take that
• 38:48
  and use that. And you know, when even when you
• 38:52
  talked about meaning, there's one book that definitely stands
• 38:55
  out. That's the one book by Viktor
• 38:59
  Frankel called the the Meaning of Life, right?
• 39:04
  And his book, what I took from it was this.
• 39:09
  If you haven't heard about Viktor Frankel, he got put, he
• 39:12
  was a psychiatrist, got put into a concentration camp.
• 39:18
  He was Jewish. So obviously his family went
• 39:20
  away, never saw them again. And So what he was doing was
• 39:25
  just using the skills that he learned, right?
• 39:27
  Just listening in to to the other prisoners, to the other
• 39:31
  guards. And through that, he found out
• 39:38
  one thing that stuck with me ever since he's and he, he made
• 39:42
  this mention in between when something happens and before you
• 39:48
  react to it, there's a space, right?
• 39:53
  And within that space lays your greatest freedom.
• 39:57
  And for me, I'd like to say that that that's where your, your
• 40:02
  peace and your joy is at, he said.
• 40:07
  He said that because of this, the Nazis killed his family.
• 40:14
  He was imprisoned. Barely kept alive, but the one
• 40:19
  thing they couldn't take away was his ability to react to what
• 40:26
  was going on. And I think that's missed a lot
• 40:31
  because we, you know, there's, if we have a problem, it's I
• 40:36
  must, I need to, I have to, right.
• 40:40
  And it carries A heavyweight with it and sometimes negative
• 40:43
  for people because there's like, I just don't know how to do
• 40:45
  this. I don't know.
• 40:46
  I hope somebody helps me or they compare themselves to something
• 40:50
  else that has things going on. They look at social media and
• 40:54
  they're like, man, I wish I had that for me when I started
• 40:58
  looking back and asking myself that, it just came up to me.
• 41:02
  It you know, I don't know why it was just you know what I get the
• 41:07
  opportunity today to control my life.
• 41:14
  Different connotation to to what we say everyday like I have to
• 41:20
  figure this out. I need to I must it's you know
• 41:24
  what you get the opportunity today and that right there kind
• 41:31
  of just like, all right, I get the opportunity.
• 41:36
  I know when I was younger and, you know, when I was working a
• 41:41
  lot at the unit, my daughter would get home.
• 41:44
  I'd get home, my daughter would be excited and sometimes I'd
• 41:48
  react bad. You know, I'd just be just, you
• 41:51
  know, snap. And I, and even when I was in my
• 41:55
  room, you know, just, I was like, why did I do that?
• 42:00
  Like I'm such a bad dad. Like, why did I make that like
• 42:05
  stupid, Like my daughter just wants to play with me.
• 42:07
  Like, why am I snapping at her? And so for me, I was like, OK,
• 42:17
  how can I, how can I kind of alleviate myself from this?
• 42:21
  And, you know, I was like, all right, let me stop by before I
• 42:25
  get in to my house and just remind myself that I get the
• 42:32
  opportunity to be a dad today. And that grounds me a lot.
• 42:38
  I mean, I still do it today. You know, it's, it's something
• 42:43
  that I continue to use and you know, it, it, it keeps me
• 42:48
  grounded no matter what. You know, not not so much that I
• 42:52
  let the negativity of things kind of get to me if things are
• 42:56
  going well, but knowing that I get an opportunity to be a dad,
• 43:00
  that my daughter is still alive. I'm alive.
• 43:06
  That's what I'm I'm truly, truly grateful for in being able to
• 43:10
  see that I can't hear you. What do you think happens in
• 43:21
  your mind when you go from a place you just got home, you're
• 43:26
  frustrated, exhausted, and you blow up on your daughter?
• 43:29
  What happens to your mind when you go from a God?
• 43:34
  I have so much. I'm on my plate.
• 43:37
  There's just too much going on to a reminder.
• 43:41
  Wait, I had a bad day. But right now, in this moment, I
• 43:46
  get to be a dad. I think it's realizing, come to
• 43:52
  the realization not to bring that negativity to my daughter,
• 43:58
  you know, because she doesn't deserve it.
• 44:01
  You know, this is just me having to deal with that stuff.
• 44:04
  And if, if that doesn't work, I always go to a little a little
• 44:13
  phrase that I created for myself to kind of say that because you
• 44:17
  have to snap yourself out of it, right?
• 44:19
  Because if you're just extremely into anger, you're just going to
• 44:23
  go off that way, right? You're going to miss out on
• 44:26
  something and poof, you know, you're, you're mad.
• 44:28
  It's like that one picture that shows a dog that's barking at
• 44:32
  the bird, the birds flying over the Cliff and the dogs jumping
• 44:35
  at it as well. Just like, like, yeah, you're
• 44:38
  going to make a mistake. And then when you do make a
• 44:40
  mistake because you're mad, you're just going to be that
• 44:43
  much more harsh on yourself. You're like, wow, yes, you were
• 44:47
  mad about work. Now you made an even bigger
• 44:49
  mistake now. So now that inner critic, it's
• 44:52
  just attacking you even harder because now you're just like,
• 44:56
  why? And you look for different ways
• 45:01
  to kind of get to that, to find a way to get the edge off.
• 45:07
  And some, it might be alcohol. Some of us, you know, hopefully
• 45:11
  the good ones are working out trying to get that stressed out
• 45:14
  some way one another. Others can't see it through
• 45:19
  getting out of the house, finding some way to distance and
• 45:22
  distract yourself from it. And for me, what I do is, is I
• 45:29
  tell myself this, it's for those who never will.
• 45:35
  You know, that's the first part that kind of gets it.
• 45:37
  Like, you know what, you're still alive.
• 45:41
  You're not dead. You're not dead.
• 45:43
  Compared to some of the other people that had their lives cut
• 45:46
  short. It's just like, Yep, that's
• 45:50
  true. Like I'm still here.
• 45:53
  Second part of it is for those who I'll never forget, meaning
• 46:02
  the good and bad relationships I've had, the leaders that I've
• 46:09
  done never forgetting those examples and reminding myself.
• 46:14
  And that was just like, got it. The last part though, the last
• 46:20
  part gets me going and it's may I always remember or may I never
• 46:26
  forget that any other person in my shoes would have crumbled.
• 46:32
  And it's like, Yep, they sure would have crumbled.
• 46:37
  And that just boom, you know, like it, it gets me out of it.
• 46:43
  I think about it some more if I'm down or if I'm mad and it's
• 46:47
  just like, all right, get out of where I'm at, go outside, take a
• 46:51
  deep breath, try to find a technique that just gets me out
• 46:54
  of it. And usually once I say my saying
• 46:58
  it's just like, all right, let's get back into it.
• 47:05
  It's still you're on mute. Oh my goodness, first time back
• 47:14
  after many weeks off y'all thank you for the grades, you know,
• 47:20
  and that's why I'm, I'm so excited.
• 47:22
  In a minute here, we're going to get into your book, Christian,
• 47:24
  because what you're talking about right now, this is exactly
• 47:28
  why you wrote your book, to be able to help people who have
• 47:33
  been there and are struggling and don't necessarily have all
• 47:36
  these tools yet, or even the the real understanding of why life
• 47:41
  is so hard right now, you know, And so I'm really excited for us
• 47:45
  to be able to talk about that. And we will be doing that right
• 47:49
  after this commercial break. And we're back with our guest,
• 52:53
  Christian Navarro. I'm glad you're still with us
• 52:56
  because we're going to get into some good stuff.
• 52:58
  Y'all So Christian, you wrote a book and the book is called
• 53:06
  Empowerment Through Darkness. And I was lucky enough to get a
• 53:11
  preview of the book before it actually goes to publishing.
• 53:17
  And I got to tell you, Christian, this book is for
• 53:20
  everybody. You know, I think there's some
• 53:22
  people that are like, oh, you know, he's a Marine, He's he's a
• 53:25
  dad. He's this, you know, as a
• 53:28
  female, I got so much out of it. I mean, I don't think it matters
• 53:35
  who you are. You will get something from this
• 53:37
  book. And before we start going into
• 53:41
  it a little bit, I just love to hear about what put it on your
• 53:47
  heart to write this book. Oh man, I think once, once I
• 53:57
  figured out, you know, how to kind of really connect with
• 54:01
  people and seeing the effect that had with them, but just
• 54:08
  constantly seeing it like, you know, I did it one time and I've
• 54:12
  had good feedback the first time and I was like, hey, all right,
• 54:15
  not bad. You know, I was like, all right,
• 54:17
  cool. But it just kept happening every
• 54:21
  single time. Like I was seeing it connect.
• 54:23
  The message was connecting with people and it just kept
• 54:26
  happening. And something just inside me was
• 54:30
  just like, just write the book. And no, I'm, I'm not a
• 54:37
  professional in the sense that like I study psychology or, you
• 54:42
  know, have any type of degree in, in that sense.
• 54:46
  But you know, through a lot that I've learned and I've
• 54:51
  experienced, I think the part that I've been able just to put
• 54:56
  things together in a way that just made sense.
• 55:01
  You know, it, it isn't like a hey, do this 10 plan or these
• 55:06
  are the 47 things you have to focus on because like most
• 55:10
  people don't remember that stuff.
• 55:14
  You know, you always hear the you know, there's the Nike
• 55:18
  slogan just do it right. And even for the some of the
• 55:21
  self help books, like, yeah, like if you do that, like, yeah,
• 55:24
  you're going to be good. But I think a part that's
• 55:27
  missed, it's that inner battle that you have with yourself on
• 55:32
  why you don't do it right. When you look at those videos
• 55:36
  that are motivating on social media, you're like, oh, wow, I
• 55:41
  was like, yeah, I could do that. And then guess what?
• 55:46
  Life happens. And it's like, now you ain't
• 55:47
  doing that because you get used to the excuses.
• 55:50
  You either say it's not the right time, I'll just do it
• 55:56
  tomorrow to today is just not the day.
• 56:00
  I just, you know what? I'm so busy.
• 56:03
  I just need a day off to cool and relax.
• 56:06
  I'll start tomorrow, right? All the little excuses that we
• 56:10
  give in to. And it's easy for us to give in
• 56:15
  because it's just like, yeah, I've done it for such a long
• 56:17
  time now. It's like, all right, whatever.
• 56:21
  And when I started bringing up that message in that way with
• 56:25
  the book, it was real. It was like, yeah, you got to
• 56:28
  write this book. And I was like, alright, cool,
• 56:29
  let me talk down and start writing it.
• 56:33
  Had no idea how to start it out because I was just like, oh man,
• 56:36
  how do I even start this thing? And you know, I'm not
• 56:39
  professionally a writer in any sense of the sense of the word
• 56:42
  and such. And so I was like, alright,
• 56:43
  well, let me try to structure it.
• 56:46
  Wrote out everything that I could that would be helpful.
• 56:49
  And then started getting things together.
• 56:51
  And that's that's where where the product is at now.
• 56:56
  So I'm wondering if you will partake in some real talk with
• 57:02
  me. So we had a great conversation
• 57:06
  before getting on the podcast and we were talking about how
• 57:12
  those voices, the inner critic, Eeyore for you, Eeyore, was
• 57:21
  trying to keep you from writing this book.
• 57:26
  And what has that journey been like for you?
• 57:30
  Oh, man, it was the same way that I had to take as far as me
• 57:36
  getting past my inner critic initially of, you know, having
• 57:41
  to write down the worst things I would tell myself, you know, for
• 57:47
  for the past mistakes that I made right.
• 57:48
  You know, it's like, why'd you make that dumb mistake?
• 57:51
  Like, bro, you're a Marine leader.
• 57:54
  Like, why'd you make that? It's just like, like I remember
• 57:56
  getting retiring from the Marine Corps and those bad, dumb
• 58:02
  decisions that I made. I would still feel like like I
• 58:06
  need to make up for it, you know?
• 58:07
  Like, why, why did I do this? Like, let me go talk to the
• 58:10
  captain real quick. I know I can make it back up
• 58:13
  again. I could do this like, and it's
• 58:16
  just knowing. It's just like you can't, you
• 58:20
  know, And I think what people, what happens is you sometimes
• 58:25
  fall to being a prisoner of your past and you feel like you
• 58:32
  cannot get out of it or you are a prisoner to the future because
• 58:38
  you're warned so much about what's to come.
• 58:41
  But what, what people are missing is today, right now, at
• 58:47
  this moment, that's what you're going to miss every single time.
• 58:51
  And, you know, when when I was trying to write the book, you
• 58:57
  know, I would, I would always just here, it's just like, why
• 59:01
  are you writing a book? You're not, you're not, you
• 59:04
  don't have a college degree, you never studied this.
• 59:07
  You don't have data like, like, what are you doing?
• 59:10
  And I'd be like, should I should I not?
• 59:16
  And I had to recognize, you know, OK, I know what I tell
• 59:21
  myself. And I know either usually what
• 59:26
  triggers it or where it happens more often than not.
• 59:31
  And that's where I had to come up with the technique to
• 59:36
  distance and distract myself from it.
• 59:40
  And I had to fail. The next part is I had to fail
• 59:45
  towards finding what was going to work for me, you know,
• 59:48
  because I would go outside, catch my breath and be like, all
• 59:52
  right, you could write this. But then again, Nope, that one
• 59:57
  didn't work. It's like, all right, well, let
• 59:59
  me go do some push ups, right? Nope, that didn't work.
• 1:00:03
  Well, let me go read in a different room.
• 1:00:06
  Nope, that didn't work. And so it would get to the point
• 1:00:10
  where I would take a couple days or even be a week before writing
• 1:00:14
  anything else. Like I said, like I just got
• 1:00:18
  lost in the necessities of life of working, being a dad, being a
• 1:00:23
  husband, fixing things around the house, taking my daughter,
• 1:00:27
  helping her out, being there as much as I can.
• 1:00:30
  And those days started piling on.
• 1:00:33
  But every time I would talk about the book to somebody face
• 1:00:36
  to face, it'd be like, why aren't you writing this book?
• 1:00:40
  And it just came to that point where I just had to had that
• 1:00:46
  like screw it moment. Like if I don't do this, what's
• 1:00:51
  the worst that happens? Or if I do, what's the worst
• 1:00:55
  that's going to happen. And I think for me, it kind of
• 1:00:58
  reminded me of being able to give up my problems and put that
• 1:01:07
  on, on Jesus, you know, because you, we all carry a huge weight
• 1:01:16
  on ourselves. And I think the thing that we
• 1:01:20
  forget about that is that there's an expectation that we
• 1:01:25
  put on ourselves. If you're a dad, OK, you're a
• 1:01:29
  dad, but then you have to define how you're going to do that
• 1:01:35
  yourself, right? Like, what does that require of
• 1:01:38
  you? And so you expect a lot of
• 1:01:41
  yourself up here as a dad, you know, and when you fall short
• 1:01:46
  one time you're just like, I failed, like I'm, I'm, I'm just
• 1:01:51
  bad. And for me, it would be quite
• 1:01:56
  evident, especially when I was working so, so much at the unit,
• 1:01:59
  putting in those hours. I'd feel bad like a dad.
• 1:02:03
  Like I'd be like man, I'm just a a shit bag.
• 1:02:07
  That or even if my wife was crying that she needed help and
• 1:02:11
  I'm just like I'm so tired babe. Like I cannot help you.
• 1:02:14
  And the next day I'm just like sitting in my car just like why?
• 1:02:21
  Why not let my wife cry and me not feel any type of remorse
• 1:02:28
  pain because I would shut down. Like I would just go internal
• 1:02:32
  and I wouldn't even say anything.
• 1:02:37
  And I struggled with that one hard for sure.
• 1:02:39
  Like that was the big one that I've had.
• 1:02:42
  But being able to see it and catch it helped out a lot in
• 1:02:52
  getting past that inner critic. Because just writing that down,
• 1:02:57
  you know, writing down, like, what's the worst?
• 1:03:01
  And I was like, what is the worst that happens if I write
• 1:03:04
  this book? That's why I started just to get
• 1:03:08
  past. And I was like alright cool, I'm
• 1:03:10
  I'm on a roll and I wasn't going to stop till I finished it.
• 1:03:15
  I love that, Christian, you asked the question, what's the
• 1:03:18
  worst that can happen? Because our brain is definitely
• 1:03:22
  fighting every single day to identify something that will
• 1:03:26
  cause this pain. So I think that's a phenomenal
• 1:03:29
  question. I'm wondering, do you also ask
• 1:03:33
  yourself what's the best thing that could happen?
• 1:03:39
  I do at times. I think for me, I sometimes get
• 1:03:43
  to the point where I always prepare for the worst, you know,
• 1:03:49
  prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
• 1:03:51
  And I think it goes back to what Cat was saying, right?
• 1:03:56
  Be grateful. The small little things you know
• 1:03:59
  of. If it goes well, hey, awesome,
• 1:04:02
  cool, let me write this way. But if it doesn't, it's just
• 1:04:06
  like I'm still grateful just to be here.
• 1:04:12
  That's really good. I do want to challenge you in
• 1:04:17
  just a little bit. You willing to be challenged?
• 1:04:20
  Just a. Little bit.
• 1:04:20
  Oh yeah. I think sometimes that way of
• 1:04:27
  thinking, and I identify it with it wholeheartedly.
• 1:04:33
  I think that becomes a mechanism for protecting ourselves.
• 1:04:39
  And one thing that God has revealed to me is that when I'm
• 1:04:45
  worried about failing or not doing a great job, because even,
• 1:04:55
  you know, at times it feels like not doing a great job is just as
• 1:05:01
  bad as failing. You know, I don't want to just
• 1:05:04
  do a good job. I want to do a great job.
• 1:05:07
  And I think it's really easy to get caught up in our own
• 1:05:13
  strength when we do that. And we're protecting ourselves.
• 1:05:20
  But if we can ask ourselves what's the best thing that could
• 1:05:24
  happen and if we can force ourselves to realize that we are
• 1:05:33
  just vessels for God to use us, I think if we wouldn't open up
• 1:05:39
  our heart and listen for for God's whispers, we might hear
• 1:05:46
  something we never thought about.
• 1:05:50
  And I feel like, Christian, I, you know, when I ask what's the
• 1:05:57
  best thing that could happen from you writing your book?
• 1:06:01
  You could save someone's life. You could connect with them in
• 1:06:08
  such a powerful way that they feel heard, they feel seen with
• 1:06:13
  somebody they've never even met. But because your words, I
• 1:06:17
  believe, were divinely inspired. It's a great blog, Christian,
• 1:06:22
  and you've already done that for me.
• 1:06:24
  And I think sometimes it's hard, though, to open up and, you
• 1:06:28
  know, we don't want to get our ego involved and be like, oh,
• 1:06:31
  I'm going to change lives. But it's almost just opening up
• 1:06:35
  to the possibility of, you know, I'm a train wreck.
• 1:06:40
  We all are train wrecks. But the minute that we hand it
• 1:06:44
  over to God and we say, hey, God, I'm just going to show up
• 1:06:47
  so you can use me. He can do exceedingly and
• 1:06:51
  wonderful, powerful things. Oh yeah, I remember watching,
• 1:07:01
  I'm forgetting the movie, but it's the one about Private Das
• 1:07:04
  and he's in Tarawa, I want to say.
• 1:07:09
  And he's that one, the one individual medic that dropped
• 1:07:13
  down the people that were hurt like all throughout the night,
• 1:07:18
  right. And I remember that specific
• 1:07:21
  scene where, you know, like closer to, you know, it's the
• 1:07:25
  end of the book where it was or end of the movie where he's
• 1:07:27
  like, God, just let me help one more.
• 1:07:32
  And for me, it's, it's knowing that, you know, like God, just
• 1:07:39
  let me help one more. You know, I think with, with
• 1:07:46
  worrying about failing, you know, I think that's, that's
• 1:07:48
  normal for anybody, you know, because because you care, it
• 1:07:51
  matters and it's important. But as I'd like to say, fail
• 1:08:00
  towards your success, right? If, if you didn't get the first
• 1:08:05
  time in like I since 2020, right, like granted, but if you
• 1:08:10
  know, you did everything you could and you laid it out there
• 1:08:13
  and there's nothing else you could have done, like hold your
• 1:08:15
  head high, there's no reason to, to look down, feel down about
• 1:08:20
  yourself because you didn't make it or you didn't get that one.
• 1:08:23
  It's like you did the best that you could and that's that's a
• 1:08:27
  win in itself, right. Failing to me is more so when
• 1:08:33
  you've given up on it. You know, when it was just like,
• 1:08:37
  you know what, I just can't do this.
• 1:08:39
  I'm done. I'm, I'm, and I've seen it, you
• 1:08:41
  know, with, with Marines, you know, they, they almost had the
• 1:08:47
  promotion, they almost had what they're called shooting for
• 1:08:50
  physically and they didn't get it and it just crushed them.
• 1:08:54
  I mean, I remember 1 Marine, he was overweight and we were going
• 1:09:01
  to take him to training and it was during the hottest time.
• 1:09:05
  So we're going to run and we're like, dude, you need to make
• 1:09:08
  weight. Like you only have so much time
• 1:09:10
  to to get in there and make this weight doing good caffeine, you
• 1:09:15
  know, giving him the proper nutrition, running, doing
• 1:09:18
  everything we can. It was like the day before he
• 1:09:24
  was about to weigh in. He just gave up.
• 1:09:28
  And when the SAR, when the SAR major weighed him, he was over
• 1:09:34
  and he got processed out and it was just like, dude, you were
• 1:09:38
  right there. Like, like, oh, yeah, just one
• 1:09:42
  more day. But it was too much.
• 1:09:46
  And it was it's, it's sad to see that, you know, hopefully things
• 1:09:50
  are good for him. But I think I view it as that
• 1:09:53
  like failing when you've completely have given up and
• 1:09:58
  you're not wanting to try again. And that's something that that I
• 1:10:00
  do with my daughter because, oh man, she's stubborn and
• 1:10:04
  perfectionist like her mom. Like if it's not perfect, it's a
• 1:10:09
  complete flavor. And I'd seen that with her.
• 1:10:14
  And also like my wife as well, we were just like, we need to
• 1:10:16
  kind of help her because at first she wouldn't listen.
• 1:10:19
  But I had to just keep reinforcing because you're not
• 1:10:22
  going to beat your inner critic on just one accomplishment.
• 1:10:26
  Like there's not one accomplishment that's going to
• 1:10:28
  keep that inner critic quiet, right?
• 1:10:31
  Like no matter what it is, like you're just going to have
• 1:10:35
  something else come up again, right?
• 1:10:39
  But when I talked to my daughter, I always reminded
• 1:10:41
  that, hey, look, you're not going to get things right the
• 1:10:44
  first time. And she's like, I don't care,
• 1:10:45
  dad. Like I'm just a failure.
• 1:10:47
  Like would see her be hard on herself.
• 1:10:49
  And she's like, oh, man, like Sadie, like you got to like,
• 1:10:53
  just cool, relax. Like it's OK, you made a
• 1:10:55
  mistake. Or if she made a mess while she
• 1:10:59
  was trying to cook something, she's like, Oh my gosh.
• 1:11:01
  And she would be hard in Saint out there just telling her like
• 1:11:05
  it's OK to fail, you know, like you're going to make mistakes.
• 1:11:10
  Be kind to yourself and just know this is how you're going to
• 1:11:13
  learn sometimes because you're stubborn.
• 1:11:16
  And when you're stubborn, you got to learn the hard way for
• 1:11:18
  some reason, like that's genetics with your mom's side.
• 1:11:22
  So so you know, but now now I've seen a difference with her just
• 1:11:27
  constantly pushing that message where she makes a mess, you
• 1:11:31
  know, she'll clean it up. And, you know, it's rarely
• 1:11:34
  because she would always say, I'm sorry, daddy, I'm sorry.
• 1:11:37
  Now it's just very, very rare that I hear her say that if she
• 1:11:41
  drops something, we both look at each other and I'm just like, it
• 1:11:44
  happens, right. And, you know, if she goes back
• 1:11:47
  to it. And I think that's the big thing
• 1:11:51
  for me as a dad now, is just trying to show her that that,
• 1:11:54
  like, failing doesn't mean you've given up, you know, when
• 1:12:01
  you're not willing to get back on.
• 1:12:04
  Yeah, that's. That's that's for sure failing,
• 1:12:07
  that's for sure. Like you've given up.
• 1:12:08
  Like that's it. Like don't go there.
• 1:12:11
  Just keep at it. You will get there.
• 1:12:13
  If you keep attacking that inner critic and you keep going for
• 1:12:19
  it, you will get there. Trust me.
• 1:12:21
  You just have to stay at it. Don't compare yourself to
• 1:12:24
  anybody else. Stay focused on you and you will
• 1:12:28
  get there. That's so powerful, Christian,
• 1:12:31
  and there's a point or a part in your book that I hope you don't
• 1:12:37
  mind. I want to, I want to read for a
• 1:12:39
  second. What I didn't realize was that
• 1:12:44
  those inner thoughts occur naturally, just as the single
• 1:12:48
  breath we take that expands and contracts in our lungs.
• 1:12:53
  They are present with you immediately upon waking, during
• 1:12:57
  your drives, while streaming shows, or when using your cell
• 1:13:01
  phone. For some, these thoughts are
• 1:13:03
  never ending and relentless in their pursuit to control you.
• 1:13:09
  The following memories are some that have stayed with me and you
• 1:13:14
  go on to talk about your earliest recollection as a kid
• 1:13:20
  and some other really powerful stories.
• 1:13:23
  But I had to highlight that part because the way you worded it,
• 1:13:30
  it was just so powerful because I've never thought about it like
• 1:13:35
  that. The inner critic is always
• 1:13:37
  there. It's just like breathing.
• 1:13:43
  And there was something freeing for me, Christian, when I read
• 1:13:46
  that, because it, it was this reminder that because what I
• 1:13:51
  would do, I would judge that voice, right?
• 1:13:55
  I would judge the voice like what's wrong with me?
• 1:13:57
  That I, I'm always thinking these bad things about myself,
• 1:14:00
  that I, you know, just constantly judging myself and I
• 1:14:05
  can never have grace for myself. Like it's like you suffer first
• 1:14:09
  because of the voice and then you suffer a second time for
• 1:14:12
  judging yourself for having the voice.
• 1:14:14
  But when I read that, that gave me so much freedom.
• 1:14:17
  Christian to hear somebody else say this is natural and it's it
• 1:14:23
  happens to everyone. Oh yeah, You know, I haven't
• 1:14:28
  done this in the Marine Corps because I, I had to learn,
• 1:14:32
  right, Like where, where this kind of came from and initially
• 1:14:36
  started when I was recruiting duty because they teach you how
• 1:14:38
  to sell the Marine Corps to get to young high school students,
• 1:14:42
  right? They give you 12 benefit tax you
• 1:14:45
  could choose from. They're like, hey, out of these
• 1:14:47
  12, choose your top three and tell me, tell me why, why to #1
• 1:14:55
  And so learn how to do that technique.
• 1:14:59
  And then I had AI was taking college classes at that time as
• 1:15:05
  well. And I remember having a
• 1:15:07
  leadership class I had to take having done 3 combat
• 1:15:13
  deployments. I'm just like, you've got to be
• 1:15:15
  kidding me. Like what is this college class
• 1:15:17
  going to teach me about leadership that I've already
• 1:15:20
  learned already from going to combat and coming back?
• 1:15:24
  And I, I looked at that, one of the chapters that we were in,
• 1:15:31
  and it was transformational leadership.
• 1:15:34
  And I remember the specific question, 'cause it said, what
• 1:15:38
  are you doing that's transformational now?
• 1:15:43
  And it was just like, well, you got me there.
• 1:15:47
  I can't think of anything. So that question stuck with me
• 1:15:53
  for a while. And it was, I can't remember
• 1:15:57
  what day it was, but then I was just looking at those benefit
• 1:16:01
  tags. And I was just like, if I know
• 1:16:06
  if I could find what's important to somebody using these benefit
• 1:16:10
  tags, what if I just replace them and just ask the
• 1:16:16
  individual, hey, what are the top three things, one to three
• 1:16:21
  things that are most important to you and why?
• 1:16:26
  When I started, when I did that, that's when I started seeing
• 1:16:30
  people opening up where I was able just to connect that much
• 1:16:35
  more. Because for me, once I knew
• 1:16:38
  that, then I just had to connect a message to what was important
• 1:16:41
  to you and why towards, Hey, this is how the Marine Corps can
• 1:16:46
  be able to provide that for you. And being able to, to get that
• 1:16:54
  type of, of connection with people was, was huge because I
• 1:17:00
  could see it. And I was just like, man, OK,
• 1:17:03
  this is working with them. And so when I started, once I
• 1:17:07
  retired, because I, I talked to civilians every now and then.
• 1:17:12
  But when I retired, I volunteered at my church to the
• 1:17:15
  financial ministry and there were people looking for help
• 1:17:20
  financially because they needed assistance.
• 1:17:22
  And I would just ask him, you know, like, I would give them a
• 1:17:27
  little bit of myself, like, hey, if you could like, at night, do
• 1:17:30
  you feel like you just talk native negatively to yourself?
• 1:17:33
  And they're like, yeah, I was like, this is what I would tell
• 1:17:37
  myself, right? And keep opening up a little bit
• 1:17:39
  more. And I would just see it, connect
• 1:17:43
  with them. You know, some of them would
• 1:17:46
  cry. Some of them.
• 1:17:48
  I could see him shaking their head.
• 1:17:50
  I could see those shoulders slumping.
• 1:17:52
  I would hear that big breath. And, and just doing it for
• 1:17:58
  years, right? And just seeing that I was just
• 1:18:02
  like, man, OK, this isn't just for for, you know, people in the
• 1:18:07
  military, like this is everybody like this is just solely focused
• 1:18:11
  towards people. They have, you know,
• 1:18:12
  accomplished one thing big. And some might say like, oh,
• 1:18:15
  he's a Marine. Like he accomplished something
• 1:18:17
  that I would have done. I was like being with, you know,
• 1:18:21
  you know what, some of the older folks that I've talked to, like
• 1:18:24
  I've seen a Kinect. And I remember this old Polish
• 1:18:28
  lady that I talked to where she was saying like, she had nobody.
• 1:18:37
  She was struggling to pay her bills and she she was just being
• 1:18:43
  hard on herself. And, you know, and I asked
• 1:18:47
  questions like, hey, did you immigrate over here from Poland?
• 1:18:51
  She's like, yeah. And I was like, how was that?
• 1:18:54
  And she would tell me, right? She told me how hard it was to
• 1:18:56
  come over here. And I was like, do you think
• 1:18:58
  that was easy? She's like, oh, no, that wasn't
• 1:19:00
  easy at all. And I was like, And so going
• 1:19:03
  back, right, to reminiscing of what you have done and not
• 1:19:07
  diminishing what you've accomplished in your lifetime.
• 1:19:12
  And so I told her I was like, I was like, you know how awesome
• 1:19:16
  that is to hear that you've migrated from Poland all the way
• 1:19:21
  over here. And still, I mean, I was asked,
• 1:19:24
  I was like, how many years is this part since you migrated?
• 1:19:26
  She's like over like 20 years. I was like, and you're still
• 1:19:30
  here 20 years after that. I was like, what would you do
• 1:19:34
  back then when things were tough and I could see her?
• 1:19:39
  She was just like, and I slowly started seeing a smile on her
• 1:19:43
  face. She's like, I used to sing.
• 1:19:44
  I was like, what? I was like, you serious?
• 1:19:46
  She's like, yeah, I used to sing.
• 1:19:49
  I was like, can you do that now? She's like, I haven't done this
• 1:19:54
  such a long time. And I could see that, like that
• 1:19:57
  look of just like, OK, like these, you know, this isn't so
• 1:20:02
  bad. And I was like, it's not.
• 1:20:04
  I was like, you could get out of this.
• 1:20:05
  I was like, I know you can. I was like, because I see your
• 1:20:08
  face. I was like, I see that attitude
• 1:20:10
  like. If I survive immigrating from
• 1:20:13
  Poland, this is not going to be the one thing that's going to
• 1:20:15
  stop me. Like, hey, it shouldn't.
• 1:20:18
  And that was just seeing her come to that realization.
• 1:20:23
  It's just like, I was just like, thankful for it.
• 1:20:27
  And I'm very humble that I was able to do that and learning
• 1:20:33
  that from not only, you know, the Marine Corps recruiting, but
• 1:20:37
  just that class and transformational leadership.
• 1:20:39
  Just that one question alone was worth that class alone for me
• 1:20:42
  because it it brought it together to where I was able to
• 1:20:46
  have that conversation with her and help her out.
• 1:20:49
  That's so powerful, Christian. When we get back from this
• 1:20:52
  commercial break, I'm excited to talk about how you can use
• 1:20:57
  questions to silence the inner critic.
• 1:21:00
  We'll be right back. And we're back with Christian
• 1:24:50
  Navarro, the author of Empowerment Through Darkness.
• 1:24:56
  Christian, how did you decide on that title?
• 1:25:02
  I think I was thinking about like, all right, what's, you
• 1:25:07
  know, like, what's a good title? And I was like, the title has to
• 1:25:10
  be like something that people can connect with, but more so
• 1:25:15
  like have a little bit of curiosity, like what does it
• 1:25:17
  mean by darkness? You know, like, where's this?
• 1:25:19
  Because I I worked with other titles and I was messing around
• 1:25:26
  with AI, just creating a picture from it and I had to go.
• 1:25:31
  Back Oh, by the way, I I love what you went with.
• 1:25:35
  I had to go back and look at that time and I remember, you
• 1:25:39
  know, the time when, you know, my daughter was born and it was
• 1:25:41
  like the the hardest time in my life.
• 1:25:43
  And I would say, you know, I was like, you know what?
• 1:25:45
  That was the darkest time. And I was just like dark,
• 1:25:51
  darkness. And then I was just like, OK, I
• 1:25:55
  was like, alright, how does this fit into the book?
• 1:25:57
  And I was like, well, people are dark when, you know, they're
• 1:25:59
  dealing with their inner critic and they're just harsh on
• 1:26:02
  themselves. And I'm like, OK, what's this
• 1:26:04
  book deal with? Well, it's getting past it.
• 1:26:06
  I was like, well, I don't want to say past it.
• 1:26:09
  And I was like, somehow I just came up with empowerment through
• 1:26:13
  the darkness. And I was just like, that's it,
• 1:26:17
  That's it right there. Yeah, it it seems so spot on to
• 1:26:21
  me because what I love about what you wrote in this book is,
• 1:26:29
  man, I want you to so bad tell the story you tell in the
• 1:26:31
  beginning. It just pulls you in.
• 1:26:34
  But I'm not going to do that because I want the readers to
• 1:26:38
  experience the excitement and the awe and just the, you know,
• 1:26:44
  thrill of like what's going to happen next.
• 1:26:48
  Because you really did that so beautifully Christian and that
• 1:26:54
  story and some of the other stories that you capture.
• 1:26:57
  What was so powerful to me is that you really do a good job
• 1:27:02
  connecting with the reader and explaining to them what you
• 1:27:08
  walked through, but in a way that makes the reader feel like,
• 1:27:12
  wow, I can completely relate to this.
• 1:27:17
  And I'm wondering one thing I'd like you to talk about is what
• 1:27:23
  is your advice for someone say after your, your inner critic or
• 1:27:32
  their whatever they named their inner critic for that one
• 1:27:37
  listener who needs it? What do you tell them when they
• 1:27:42
  are being bombarded by that voice and they recognize, OK,
• 1:27:47
  wait a minute, This is the inner critic, This isn't me, this
• 1:27:50
  isn't helpful. This is the inner critic.
• 1:27:55
  What do you recommend they do? I would remind them.
• 1:28:04
  I would tell them just be kind to yourself.
• 1:28:08
  You know, you're going through a battle that isn't going to stop.
• 1:28:16
  And I think more so like you have to train the inner critic
• 1:28:19
  to be supporting you instead of just bringing you down and
• 1:28:24
  making you feel like you're in a mental prison, you know, 'cause
• 1:28:29
  you could think these negative thoughts day in and day out and
• 1:28:33
  you're just sitting there like, I wish somebody would help me.
• 1:28:36
  You know, there's always that saying, you know, you will get
• 1:28:40
  past it if you realize no one's going to come save you.
• 1:28:44
  And you know, I, I think you can see that anywhere on social
• 1:28:48
  media, but being kind to yourself because any little
• 1:28:53
  thing could just draw you back to that negative mentality.
• 1:28:56
  You think about those past mistakes, those past decisions
• 1:28:59
  that you aren't proud of either. As a parent, a friend, a father,
• 1:29:07
  a mother, brother, sister. You might have said some things
• 1:29:10
  to somebody else. And it's just like, but be kind
• 1:29:15
  because no one's going to know what you're going through,
• 1:29:21
  right? And we all place that, that
• 1:29:25
  facade in front of everybody and well, we tie ourselves, you
• 1:29:29
  know, to the outside world, like, hey, how you doing?
• 1:29:32
  So like, I'm fine, all right. Like how many times have we said
• 1:29:35
  that? And we're not, we wanted to say
• 1:29:39
  something, but we just, we're ashamed or we feel like, Hey,
• 1:29:46
  I'm going to put my problems on to them if I do that.
• 1:29:52
  And one, one book that I will recommend that I read recently
• 1:29:59
  is called Invisible Heroes. And this one kind of deals with
• 1:30:02
  trauma of many kinds. But once you get past like the
• 1:30:08
  beginning part, 'cause you get, you get some data stuff in
• 1:30:10
  there. And some of some people might
• 1:30:11
  not like that, but you get to the exercise portion.
• 1:30:16
  And that's where, where it's good at, cause the one part, the
• 1:30:23
  one exercise that stuck with me was, OK, go into a room, your
• 1:30:28
  room, breathe in and breathe out, right?
• 1:30:33
  Feel your heart rate come down. And then think about the worst
• 1:30:43
  thing you could think about yourself, right?
• 1:30:45
  Or the one problem that you have right?
• 1:30:48
  And feel yourself in those moments and feeling that that
• 1:30:52
  emotion at that time. And once you're done there, then
• 1:30:59
  focus on this. Imagine you're in a room and
• 1:31:05
  you're surrounded by the people that love you and imagine them
• 1:31:11
  telling you, you don't have to be harsh on yourself.
• 1:31:18
  We're here and we love you. And when when I just read that,
• 1:31:26
  oh, man, like it was, it was impactful because I don't think
• 1:31:34
  too many of us do that. You know, we, we imagine a room
• 1:31:40
  of loved ones and then telling us, Hey, you're loved because
• 1:31:47
  you're like, yeah, we could always say like, hey, I love
• 1:31:48
  you, man. You know, I'll be there for you.
• 1:31:51
  But with you just being able to listen that and reinforce that
• 1:31:57
  every single time it it changes it.
• 1:32:02
  And then you kind of remind yourself, like, yeah, OK, I need
• 1:32:07
  to be kind here because that inner critic is going to keep
• 1:32:12
  attacking any which way they can.
• 1:32:14
  They knows my inner secrets. It knows everything about you,
• 1:32:18
  right? And as they say, Rome wasn't
• 1:32:22
  built in the day, nor was the, you know, Great Wall of China
• 1:32:25
  destroyed in the day. So it's going to take time.
• 1:32:29
  But you've, like I said, fail towards your success, you know?
• 1:32:35
  But overall, just be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself
• 1:32:39
  and know that you are loved. It seems so simple, be kind to
• 1:32:46
  yourself and know that you are loved.
• 1:32:49
  But how many of us fail to do that?
• 1:32:52
  Especially when things get tough and we start judging ourselves
• 1:32:56
  and that inner critic starts really rearing its ugly head.
• 1:33:01
  I love that exercise about imagining your loved ones
• 1:33:06
  surrounding you. And to me, again, that's the
• 1:33:11
  power of asking yourself the right question, knowing how to
• 1:33:16
  direct your mind instead of letting that inner critic direct
• 1:33:20
  it for you. And I'm excited when we get
• 1:33:25
  back, Christian. I'm, I'm excited to find out who
• 1:33:30
  you think needs this book the most.
• 1:33:35
  And we'll be right back after this commercial break.
• 1:38:13
  Empowerment Through Darkness. Christian, thanks again for
• 1:38:18
  being here tonight. So I'm curious.
• 1:38:23
  What? Is your desire.
• 1:38:26
  That people. Take away from reading your
• 1:38:29
  book. Oh man.
• 1:38:36
  I think. Knowing that.
• 1:38:42
  They could connect with what they tell themselves and and
• 1:38:50
  knowing when that happens. And being able to kind of
• 1:38:52
  demonstrate that. You know, like the things that
• 1:38:56
  the negative self talk that I would tell myself from my past.
• 1:38:58
  Mistakes and. How heavy it would weigh on me
• 1:39:03
  and just being like, Oh my God, like, yeah, came in like, why?
• 1:39:06
  Why did I make that mistake? And you're just like, you're,
• 1:39:10
  you're driving from home and it, it hits you again.
• 1:39:14
  Like, why'd you, why'd you make that mistake, Christian?
• 1:39:17
  Like really. Like, why'd you, like you're,
• 1:39:20
  you're college educated, you're a Marine, your staff Sergeant,
• 1:39:25
  like why'd you do that? And and you know that there's
• 1:39:36
  somebody else out out there. That is going through the.
• 1:39:39
  Same thing. And it's like, you know what?
• 1:39:42
  He's he's going, he's feeling some of the same things that I
• 1:39:47
  tell myself. And if I could do this in small?
• 1:39:52
  Simple steps. Right, that I'll be able to get
• 1:39:55
  past it and that there's hope that you can get past those
• 1:40:00
  negative thoughts you. Know and it's.
• 1:40:03
  It's it's for the person, the everyday person to know that
• 1:40:07
  they don't have to be in that same cycle of pain, that same
• 1:40:10
  cycle of hurt. Your past should shouldn't be a
• 1:40:15
  prison sentence, nor should should your future.
• 1:40:19
  But if you spend a little bit of time.
• 1:40:21
  To reminisce about your. Past experiences and I feel like
• 1:40:26
  I have kids done better and you know, hindsight 2022 always for
• 1:40:31
  everybody. But even then, you know, like if
• 1:40:33
  you're just comparing yourself, it's not what's going to take
• 1:40:37
  you down. That same path of.
• 1:40:39
  Hurt and pain and realizing that if you know what you tell
• 1:40:44
  yourself and you know where it happens from, from then on out.
• 1:40:51
  It's just it's time to punch back at the inner critic.
• 1:40:54
  And you know, and same thing like they read.
• 1:40:59
  It they might not get past it. Right.
• 1:41:01
  They're just going to be, this is just not one of those books.
• 1:41:06
  But if they really take the time, like I said, for me,
• 1:41:08
  writing down the most negative things about myself, that took
• 1:41:11
  months because I would look at that paper and I'd be like, why
• 1:41:17
  do I need to write this? Like I already know.
• 1:41:19
  This like I know what I. Tell myself I feel like a
• 1:41:21
  failure as a dad, as a husband, Like, why do I need to write
• 1:41:28
  this down? This is dumb.
• 1:41:29
  And I'm like, yeah, this is kind of dumb, you know?
• 1:41:32
  And I say it again. And you're like, well, maybe I
• 1:41:35
  should like, Nah, man, you got other things to worry about.
• 1:41:37
  Like yeah, that's true. I got other.
• 1:41:39
  Things to worry about but when I when I wrote down.
• 1:41:43
  That first one. It stopped weighing so heavy.
• 1:41:49
  On my mind. And I was just like, OK, this
• 1:41:55
  isn't so bad. And I wrote down the next one.
• 1:41:59
  I was like, all right. And it just kept going, just
• 1:42:02
  kept writing every single one of them.
• 1:42:05
  And even while, like, when you read the book, you'll see like,
• 1:42:08
  yeah, that's what I thought about myself.
• 1:42:10
  I was, I felt like shit seeing my wife cry.
• 1:42:12
  Like I I was just like, oh, man. And you're still like, all
• 1:42:16
  right, I need to find a way somehow.
• 1:42:18
  Like, this isn't where I, I don't want to live my next 20-30
• 1:42:22
  years of my life in this type of mental prison.
• 1:42:26
  I was like, I need to get past this.
• 1:42:28
  And I think I've run in a way where people can connect to it
• 1:42:34
  and it doesn't feel like it's impossible because of like, OK,
• 1:42:38
  this guy was having, you know, like, not the same thoughts that
• 1:42:41
  I have, but he was having those thoughts in there randomly
• 1:42:44
  happening because of his past mistakes.
• 1:42:49
  Let me try this out. And then just trying, I'm just
• 1:42:52
  like, oh. Man, that's.
• 1:42:53
  That's that's where that money. Is and that's where I'd like to
• 1:42:56
  be at, just be able to see them try and if they don't get it,
• 1:43:00
  cool, go back at it again. But yeah, that's that's what I
• 1:43:04
  hope they take from it, that they could do this.
• 1:43:09
  And once they get past this and it's it's peace and joy that
• 1:43:16
  will meet you there. I want that for.
• 1:43:21
  Our audience, Christian. And I want that for every person
• 1:43:26
  that picks up your book because it's so powerful.
• 1:43:30
  It's, it's almost like, you know, in the matrix, you know,
• 1:43:34
  once you, you take the, what is it?
• 1:43:36
  The red pill? I think, you know, you can never
• 1:43:39
  go back, but it's in a good way. You can never go back.
• 1:43:43
  Because you learned. Something so powerful that can
• 1:43:46
  help you every single day of life.
• 1:43:48
  And Oh yeah, I just thank you for letting me read the book
• 1:43:53
  before it's published and before everybody else gets their hands
• 1:43:56
  on it. I feel very honored.
• 1:44:00
  And I'm curious, Christian, what is?
• 1:44:03
  Legacy mean to. You what is what legacy?
• 1:44:09
  Legacy. Oh man.
• 1:44:17
  I think legacy for me, I would say.
• 1:44:20
  It is a culmination. Of.
• 1:44:27
  Seeing how you not only handled the good times in life, but
• 1:44:33
  really seeing how you handled the.
• 1:44:35
  Bad times. Because I know for me as a
• 1:44:39
  leader, it was easy to, you know, if I had everything going
• 1:44:44
  for me, you know, I had the Marines trained.
• 1:44:47
  They were doing good and seeing how how they were getting
• 1:44:54
  everything they needed. But legacy, I think, has to
• 1:45:02
  include seeing you at your worst as well.
• 1:45:05
  Like, how did you react when you felt like you were cornered?
• 1:45:11
  You know, did you, did you give in?
• 1:45:13
  Give up easily. Did you try fighting?
• 1:45:16
  If you didn't fight, like what happened and such?
• 1:45:20
  And I think it's a combination of both of those to really show
• 1:45:23
  people like, hey, this is who this person was.
• 1:45:25
  That's their legacy. I think that's a real.
• 1:45:38
  Important point in understanding what is your legacy.
• 1:45:46
  Because. I can speak from.
• 1:45:49
  Personal experience. Christian I'm at the point in my
• 1:45:52
  life I don't really get impressed by these people that
• 1:45:57
  seem like they've figured everything out and life is just
• 1:46:01
  amazing and, you know, everything just works.
• 1:46:09
  I think there's a. Part of me that understands
• 1:46:12
  that's not reality. Because no matter how much you
• 1:46:16
  show. How successful you are.
• 1:46:18
  Or talk about all the amazing things you've done.
• 1:46:22
  By you not walking us through the challenges that you've been
• 1:46:28
  through, I don't really care. You know, Christian, I don't.
• 1:46:34
  Really care. How much you've accomplished.
• 1:46:36
  Because if I don't know what you've been through, I can't
• 1:46:41
  relate to that. Yeah.
• 1:46:44
  And so I find that so powerful. That you include that in the.
• 1:46:48
  Definition of of legacy for yourself.
• 1:46:52
  And I think I'm going to have. To change my definition.
• 1:46:56
  As well. Now you know, because that is
• 1:47:00
  really what. Matters.
• 1:47:03
  You know, I think about somebody that's.
• 1:47:05
  Really rich and. Was born with the silver spoon
• 1:47:08
  in their mouth. You know, I'm not really
• 1:47:11
  interested in hearing their. Story.
• 1:47:13
  I'm not really. Interested in understanding what
• 1:47:17
  it was like, you know, having unlimited finances at your
• 1:47:21
  disposal and just deciding you want to do something and then
• 1:47:24
  you do it. The majority of human beings
• 1:47:27
  can't relate to that story. No, no, but we can relate.
• 1:47:33
  To. Having to believe in yourself
• 1:47:37
  when the inner. Critic is screaming.
• 1:47:39
  In your ears so loud you can't even hear yourself think you
• 1:47:43
  know or going through that. Time.
• 1:47:46
  When you have a new baby and you have so much stress and pressure
• 1:47:52
  on everything else in your life. And yet you know, you're you're
• 1:47:56
  feeling the intensity of feeling like you're failing as a husband
• 1:48:01
  or a father, but pushing through and figuring out how do you
• 1:48:06
  handle that situation and how do you learn from that situation?
• 1:48:10
  How do you become a better human being?
• 1:48:14
  And then doing exactly what you're doing, Christian, you're
• 1:48:19
  passing it on. And I think that's the most
• 1:48:22
  important part. And it doesn't mean you have to
• 1:48:25
  have a podcast. It doesn't mean you have to
• 1:48:27
  write a book, but it doesn't mean that you have to pass it
• 1:48:30
  on. And I just want to commend you
• 1:48:33
  for writing your book. And getting past.
• 1:48:36
  The inner critic because I joked with you before, you know, we
• 1:48:41
  actually got on the show here and told you how many times I've
• 1:48:43
  started writing my own book and and I don't have a full.
• 1:48:49
  Copy ready to. Go, but now you can start now.
• 1:48:54
  Now you can start. You know, actually.
• 1:48:56
  To be. Transparent.
• 1:48:57
  I actually did write a book. And I think it was 2022, but
• 1:49:05
  there was a lot of pressure from the publisher I was working
• 1:49:09
  with. And I decided at the end of the
• 1:49:11
  day, you're not going to own this book.
• 1:49:14
  You're not going to own my story.
• 1:49:16
  I'm going to own my own. So, you know, maybe one day I'll
• 1:49:21
  go back Christian and, and I will put out my own story.
• 1:49:28
  But. I just look at you and I look at
• 1:49:31
  you in awe because no matter what, those words will never
• 1:49:35
  die. And you may.
• 1:49:39
  You know, for example, I can't. Remember what artist it was?
• 1:49:43
  But you know, there, I don't know if it was Monet or who it
• 1:49:49
  was, but there there is a very, very famous artist and no one
• 1:49:54
  knew them. Nobody bought their work, nobody
• 1:49:57
  cared about their work till after they died.
• 1:49:58
  And now they're one of the most famous artists in the world.
• 1:50:02
  You know, when I think about that, the fact that you're
• 1:50:04
  putting your heart on paper, Christian, you're being
• 1:50:07
  vulnerable, you're sharing stories that people will be able
• 1:50:11
  to relate with and you're making a difference.
• 1:50:14
  And you never know how many lives that you're going to
• 1:50:18
  touch. And I just want to commend you
• 1:50:20
  for that. And even if you hadn't written
• 1:50:24
  this book, I. Already know that your legacy.
• 1:50:26
  Lives on because of the stories that you shared with me,
• 1:50:31
  understanding the Marines that have reached out to you, you
• 1:50:34
  know, and told you what a difference you made.
• 1:50:38
  And I'm wondering if you would share one of those stories with
• 1:50:41
  us just to end our podcast with a little bit of hope and a
• 1:50:46
  little bit of encouragement of how each one of us, we can make
• 1:50:51
  a difference in someone. Else's life.
• 1:50:54
  Oh yeah. So I think it's kind of like.
• 1:50:57
  A reoccurring theme like as I see I think in your most darkest
• 1:51:01
  moments you will find surprises because in my first deployment I
• 1:51:09
  remember my family not writing to me much like the.
• 1:51:11
  Only person I would. Would e-mail my brother.
• 1:51:15
  That's because he had e-mail and I had e-mail out in Iraq.
• 1:51:19
  But I wouldn't get too many. I wouldn't get any letters from
• 1:51:23
  our mom. And that got me down.
• 1:51:26
  You know, it's my first appointment.
• 1:51:28
  And, you know, that's because of that.
• 1:51:32
  That's how I got introduced to my wife.
• 1:51:37
  And then like I'd I'd give everything to her because she
• 1:51:42
  stayed with me. Even when she.
• 1:51:44
  Told me she was like about to be done and give up on her marriage
• 1:51:48
  during that, that that dark time, like she's still stuck by
• 1:51:52
  me and didn't give up. And so during that dark time, I
• 1:51:59
  was working, I had to work at night time and that's when I was
• 1:52:04
  in charge of all the Marines at night.
• 1:52:08
  So this is about maybe 4040 or so Marine 40. 50 Marines
• 1:52:14
  working. At night and I was the one that
• 1:52:17
  dictated what got worked on and everything else that such for
• 1:52:21
  me, I wanted to go. In and check on the Marines.
• 1:52:27
  So when I would walk by, they'd be like, Paul, Staffs aren't.
• 1:52:30
  They're like, hey, Staffs aren't this is what we have working on.
• 1:52:33
  This is what we got doing. I was like, I don't care about
• 1:52:35
  that. Like I know you're at work and I
• 1:52:36
  was like, how are you doing? He's like, like me like, yeah,
• 1:52:41
  you're like, how are you doing? And they would tell me, right,
• 1:52:44
  like these aren't Marines that I'm, you know, directly.
• 1:52:47
  They're directly into my supervision.
• 1:52:48
  But I just go talk to them. I'd go out to the aircraft on
• 1:52:52
  the flight line where they're parked at and I'd go talk to
• 1:52:55
  them just to see how they're doing, you know, joke around
• 1:52:57
  with them, seeing how they're they're progressing on the the
• 1:53:01
  work that I required them that night.
• 1:53:03
  And I want to say it was about, let's see, that was in 20.
• 1:53:11
  15/20/16 SO. I got a text message on
• 1:53:16
  messenger and it goes it started out with you.
• 1:53:22
  Might not remember. Me.
• 1:53:23
  But I knew it was him because it was only one Marine that had his
• 1:53:27
  specific first name. And I was just like, I'm never
• 1:53:30
  going to forget that. So when I saw his message pop up
• 1:53:33
  and I was like, I know who you are.
• 1:53:35
  Like you're the only one with that name.
• 1:53:37
  And he's like, you know what, I worked with you back then, but
• 1:53:42
  it was because of how you were as a leader and what you did on
• 1:53:47
  a daily basis. It's the reason why I got
• 1:53:52
  selected to be a staff Sergeant. And when I read that, I was just
• 1:53:57
  like, oh, man, like just hitting home, right?
• 1:54:01
  And you know, another one was we were at the Marine Corps Ball
• 1:54:09
  and. I.
• 1:54:10
  Remember 1 of the corporals introducing me to to his spouse
• 1:54:15
  and the Marine walk went away somewhere else.
• 1:54:17
  I can't remember where he was going to, but I was there with
• 1:54:19
  his spouse and she goes she's like you know what he talks
• 1:54:23
  about you And I looked I was like hopefully in a positive
• 1:54:27
  manner and she was laughing. She's like, no, he really pays
• 1:54:32
  attention to what you say and what you tell him personally,
• 1:54:38
  and I like it. It really means a lot.
• 1:54:40
  And just those two. If I would have never written
• 1:54:43
  this book and ended my career as that, and that was that was my
• 1:54:48
  legacy, it would have been more than enough.
• 1:54:52
  But there's been. Numerous times.
• 1:54:54
  With other Marines that, you know, extremely thankful that I
• 1:54:57
  talked to them, you know, and how I brought this up to them
• 1:55:00
  with the book and being able to get past that as such.
• 1:55:04
  And it's that resounding, the resounding.
• 1:55:09
  Message that like keeps telling. Me like you need to finish this
• 1:55:12
  book and it's huge. It's just that that
• 1:55:16
  reinforcement was like, get this book out.
• 1:55:18
  Like people are going to people are going to connect with it.
• 1:55:21
  They're going to like it. It's not just for, you know,
• 1:55:23
  military members, anybody who sees it and or anybody who reads
• 1:55:27
  it, they will see and be able to connect with it.
• 1:55:32
  And I feel it's, it's a good strong message when anyone can
• 1:55:41
  use this one. So it's having those Marines
• 1:55:44
  reach out to me like that and. Having to talk to the spouse.
• 1:55:47
  Like that, it was just like humbling, humbling experience
• 1:55:51
  and extremely. Grateful as well.
• 1:55:53
  That being able to to get to where I'm at with this.
• 1:55:58
  And I just want to remind you, Christian.
• 1:56:01
  If you're all right with this, but I do want.
• 1:56:05
  To remind you that. For every one person that
• 1:56:10
  actually reaches out and says thank you, there's probably 20
• 1:56:16
  more that. Feel the exact.
• 1:56:19
  Same way, you know, I didn't think about that.
• 1:56:23
  Up until you told me, like we had that conversation.
• 1:56:25
  There. So I was just like.
• 1:56:26
  Man, yeah, 'cause when he picked up Gunny as well, that Marine
• 1:56:31
  that messaged me like he was still asking, like, hey, how'd?
• 1:56:35
  You do it like when. You were at this rank, like,
• 1:56:37
  what did you do? And I was like, OK, he's using
• 1:56:40
  everything. And when you told me that, it
• 1:56:42
  was just like, there you go. That's powerful.
• 1:56:50
  Christian and I want. To end tonight.
• 1:56:54
  With a. Challenge for you, the listener.
• 1:56:58
  And I want to thank you for joining us and being here
• 1:57:02
  because you matter and we care about you.
• 1:57:06
  And we hope that this has helped you tonight, getting to hear
• 1:57:11
  stories from Christian and hear about his journey.
• 1:57:14
  And I hope you found a take away to help make your life better.
• 1:57:19
  And I want to leave you all with a challenge.
• 1:57:21
  And this is for you too, Christian.
• 1:57:24
  I want you to think back to somebody.
• 1:57:26
  Who has impacted your? Life and left an impression on
• 1:57:30
  you and I want you to reach out to them and I want you to tell
• 1:57:33
  them I'm going to. Do it myself, Christian.
• 1:57:41
  I know. There's someone that you can
• 1:57:42
  reach. Out to and.
• 1:57:44
  To my guests, our listener, I want you to think about somebody
• 1:57:50
  who has really made an. Impact on your life and I want
• 1:57:52
  you to. Reach out and I want you to tell
• 1:57:53
  them what they meant to you. And lastly, before we end this
• 1:58:01
  podcast, I would like to take a minute to pray for you, our
• 1:58:06
  audience. Christian, do you want to do you
• 1:58:09
  want to pray or do you want me to handle it all?
• 1:58:14
  Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't mind. Come on, man.
• 1:58:19
  Heavenly Father. Thank you for this.
• 1:58:23
  Time that we've had to where a message could be pushed out to
• 1:58:28
  those who are having a hard time and babbling those inner
• 1:58:34
  thoughts that they have and knowing that if they give up all
• 1:58:39
  of those worries, fears, hesitation, that you alone and
• 1:58:49
  your salvation and are will be able to help them out.
• 1:58:54
  And thank you, Lord, that. We're still here today.
• 1:58:59
  That if you're listening, you're not done.
• 1:59:03
  That we know that you have given up your only.
• 1:59:08
  Begone, son. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
• 1:59:12
  for our sins and for us not to feel bad about ourselves and
• 1:59:20
  that your salvation is the greatest gift, the greatest love
• 1:59:26
  we could ever receive, Lord. And if you could give our
• 1:59:29
  listeners the strength, the wisdom to be able to get past
• 1:59:37
  that inner voice that attacks them every single Time, Lord,
• 1:59:40
  they let them see that your power and glory will reign over
• 1:59:45
  all that there is no better gift that the internal salvation that
• 1:59:49
  we have from you, Heavenly Father, and I pray you help
• 1:59:54
  them. You lead them.
• 1:59:57
  And over. All that you.
• 1:59:59
  Remind them to be kind. To themselves, Lord.
• 2:00:01
  Yes Lord, because through you everything is possible.
• 2:00:08
  In Jesus name we pray. In the name of Jesus, Amen, Amen
• 2:00:12
  and Amen. I love you, Christian.
• 2:00:15
  I love you, listeners. We're so thankful to be able to
• 2:00:20
  connect with you and to share God's love and to share God's
• 2:00:23
  hope. And I just want to remind y'all,
• 2:00:27
  lean into your legacy. Take care, Christian.
• 2:00:30
  Thank you. Thank you.
• 2:00:34
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• 2:00:35
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• 2:00:41
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