Latest / The Christian Reeve Podcast / Felicity Azura | The Christian Reeve Podcast #215

Transcript

Felicity Azura | The Christian Reeve Podcast #215 · The Christian Reeve Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello, everybody. This is a trigger warning /
• 0:03
  warning just in general that this show is 18.
• 0:06
  Plus and so, if you're below those ages, please don't watch
• 0:10
  this. Please avoid this show, skip
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  this one. There are themes covered in this
• 0:16
  particular episode that may be distressing or upsetting for
• 0:19
  listeners. So this is your warning.
• 0:22
  So proceed with caution might be worth skipping.
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  This one entirely Felicity was a wonderful guest.
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  This is a good show. It's Just there are some topics
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  that sort of Catch You by surprise that even I wasn't
• 0:35
  expecting and it's just a warning for everybody so just
• 0:39
  bear that in mind. And thank you very much.
• 0:42
  Hello. And welcome back to the
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  Christian Reef podcast. Today's Guest House, all the way
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  from San Francisco her name is Felicity as order and will be
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  speaking. All about near-death experiences
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  and much, much more today. Welcome Felicity, how are you
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  doing? I'm doing really well, and I'm
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  so glad that we finally got to do this because we've been
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  corresponding over email since March, and it is how the middle
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  of May. My gosh, is it really been that
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  long? Oh my God.
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  Yes. Yeah.
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  It's, you know, actually I just found the side that is actually
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  a real pleasure to have you here for a number of reasons.
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  One, I'm very excited to just do a show.
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  I love doing this show be we're going to be talking about a lot
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  of interesting topics stuff I just Fascinating and see.
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  I've had a lot of like, weirdly cancellations and no-shows
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  lately, which is something that happens in the podcasting game.
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  I've mentioned a few times in the show recently, but it is
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  incredibly frustrating. Especially when you've got an
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  audience a growing audience who are like excited about each and
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  every show and you know, so I get people sending in questions
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  all this sort of stuff and it's just like, I feel really bad
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  because people then say like oh why didn't this person show up?
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  And I'm like, I don't know, I'm just the host, like Dad, try my
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  best but, you know, so yeah, I believe me.
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  I'm very, very happy to have you, okay.
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  I've only interviewed three people on my podcast so far and
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  so I've yet to have a no call no show but now I know to expect
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  that at some point. Yeah, it's gonna happen.
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  I hope it doesn't happen. Very often to you.
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  Y'all. Gosh three episodes in what's
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  your show about time. It's about you show, real quick.
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  My show is about professional cuddling but it's mainly me
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  talking to myself. I interviewed one person in
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  maybe 20 19, and she's not a professional cuddler, but I
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  still thought she was cool. So I had her on my show and I
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  recently interviewed two professional cuddlers.
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  So one of those interviews will be out before the end of May.
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  The second one, I've yet to edit that body.
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  Oh, but I'll try to publish it for June.
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  Okay, this is fascinating because I remember you telling
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  me this in your initial emails to me and I was like what what
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  do you mean professional cuddler?
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  So this is a thing, please explain this to me.
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  How does professional cuddling work?
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  I don't need to be, I'm going to be mean here laughing.
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  If it's a genuine thing is just in my mind, and the way you
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  phrased, it was interesting as well.
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  You said, I'm a professional cuddler and this has got me in
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  dangerous situations and I'm like, oh my gosh, you have to
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  tell me and also I'm worried for your safety.
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  Please tell me more. Okay, so it's a delicate
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  tightrope. It's a delicate tightrope walk
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  because I don't want to downplay the dangers of being a cuddle
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  therapist. But I also want to acknowledge
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  that most victims of domestic violence, kidnapping trafficking
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  all that they're normally abused by someone, they already
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  personally know. And so, when I go on other
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  parts, Podcasts, I often get questions.
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  Like aren't you scared of being kidnapped, trafficked, all of
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  that. And I mean in general, yes I am.
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  But I also know the statistics, I kind of have to be vigilant
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  about these kinds of things. And so, it's, it was I was in so
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  many precarious situations during my first year as a
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  snuggle partner, but I learned a lot of safety tips with, in my
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  five years of experience and I am happy to share those safety
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  tips with almost anyone. I like I said, it's a tightrope
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  walk. I do want to share this Vital
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  Information on podcast, but I also wonder if I'm compromising
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  myself. Safety.
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  If I just stayed to the whole world, this is what I do to, you
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  know, preserve and protect myself.
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  But as a snuggle therapist, I kind of strangers for a living
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  and I've gotten a lot of I've gotten a wide array of
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  reactions, like, I've, I've heard people say, oh yeah, I do
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  that too. Like I, you know, at hospitals,
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  I'll snuggle newborn babies because babies need, you know,
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  warmth and human connection. I'm like, that's that's not what
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  I'm doing. I'm not going to hospitals in
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  like a very controlled environment and hugging harmless
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  infants, I am often, you know, going to hotels, going to
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  airbnb's, going to people's homes and like trusting them and
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  hugging them for hours at a time and it's It's very
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  misunderstood, so I created a podcast for it.
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  Okay, I have so many questions. How do you firstly?
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  Ensure your safety but you mentioned there for example oh I
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  might go to like an Airbnb and it's like the I got to imagine
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  that you know as a young woman you know going to these places
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  alone is like you're I mean you're asking for trouble like
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  how how do you ensure your own safety?
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  Like what measures do you put in place or like how do you if you
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  even can like that to make sure? Sure, that someone is, you know,
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  not a psycho like I don't know. Like how do you navigate that?
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  I would say every practitioner has a different vetting process
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  like for some people, they'll be like, oh, I need to make sure
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  that every person I cuddle has a job so that they can afford my
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  rates and I've met people who cuddled those in law enforcement
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  and the military me I do ask people what their job is before
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  I cuddle them. I mean a so they have money so
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  that They can afford my rates but also, I don't cuddle people
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  in law enforcement because I feel like, if someone ends up
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  not liking me, they can easily just stay whatever.
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  And then be like, okay, well now I have the means to arrest you
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  and I live in the United States. You Maybe if you're a lawyer,
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  you have like some some leverage with the police.
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  But I am not some kind of attorney.
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  So, if someone doesn't like me and their law enforcement, they
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  can pretty much get away with anything.
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  And so, I genuinely do want to give people a therapeutic
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  experience, but I also reserve the right to refuse service to
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  anyone else. Yeah.
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  I mean I suppose a lot of it is just kind of like trusting your
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  judgment, your intuition like how a situation looks and
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  whatnot. But oh my God, I see it sounds
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  like the most stressful kind of scary thing ever.
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  Like, tell me how you got into this like Did this start?
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  Well, liked. a lot of people who enter the adult industry, I
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  started because I needed the money and there are a lot of,
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  side hustle blogs online, which I hate about a lot of those
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  blogs will publish very click beta D, entries, and sometimes
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  make talks about how lucrative of a side hustle.
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  Professional cuddling is. But I would say most
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  professional cuddlers hate that depiction because it's a
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  therapeutic service and it's just we live in late stage.
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  Ilysm. That's why I'd also blogs exist.
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  People making money off of telling other people that there
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  are such a, there are such things as low risk, High reward
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  jobs, but I purposefully named my podcast Pro cuddle hustle
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  because I'm assuming that most people when they're Googling
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  this, they're like side, hustle, professional cuddling, and then
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  my resource pops up. And I Have the balls to say no
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  this is not a low-risk high-reward kind of job because
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  there is no such a thing. Anyone who tells you that it's
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  just someone trying to win the game of late-stage capitalism.
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  They're trying to sell you. This idea that you can be 100%
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  safe and make a lot of money. Everyone's trying to sell
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  something on there. Okay.
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  Here's an interesting angle to this.
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  So one thing I'm dealing with a lot as as I increase with the
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  things I do online and stuff is this idea of parasocial
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  relationships and now right now with what you're doing I mean
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  hugging is a concept is is a very intimate thing.
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  I understand that it you can kind of detach In the same way
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  that someone might say attached sort of more mature, I'll just
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  say sex, you know, people like sex exists right at it and its
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  history is a thing that happens. It's a thing that people do and
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  I'm imagining in many ways, hugging can be can be the same,
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  but like, I don't know. Like, for me, personally, when I
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  think about hugging, like there were different types of hugs
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  obviously, but, like, I imagined the top of hug that you are
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  giving someone. In this particular context is
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  supposed to be intimate is supposed to be quite a lot of
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  Intention compassion involved in that and that's where it begins
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  to blur the lines because it's like, well, I'm a professional.
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  I'm doing this for a living. I'm providing you a service, but
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  at the same time, said service is something that's very
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  passionate and intimate and it's kind of impossible almost not to
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  be. So how do you navigate that
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  particular? That is such a good question
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  because when I think of when I hear parasocial, relationships I
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  immediately think of online relationships you know the
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  people who will like listen to every single interview I have on
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  another podcast follow my social media for years but then never
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  Meet me in person and I hate it. I hate receiving an email from
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  someone saying I've been on the fence about cuddling you for 5
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  years or something like that. And then, you know, we go back
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  and forth with emails for one to two years and it's like, buddy,
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  schedule a day and a time because I can't just be going
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  back and forth with you for a year.
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  That's very rude. And so, When it comes to
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  in-person parasocial relationships, I'll say I when I
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  meet a client, I show up as myself.
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  I don't really hold back on my personal experiences.
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  What? Like when I say to people, you
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  know, I've had a really, really rough gay or rough week.
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  I mean it I don't pretend that I've had a glorious month if my
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  mom Has been shit. I don't expect the clients to
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  console me because I'm supposed to be consoling them.
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  But you know, when people ask me, how are you?
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  I answer honestly, and I cannot control people's emotions.
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  I cannot tell someone you're not allowed to fall in love with me
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  and she's you can barely control your own emotions.
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  So what makes you think, you can control someone else's emotions
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  and what does bother me is, When people say, oh, because I've
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  fallen in love with you, I cannot I cannot compensate you
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  anymore as if loving someone means.
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  You don't have to financially take care of them.
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  Like imagine if your parent told you, I'm only financial aid
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  taking care of you because you have no other access to Capital.
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  Instead of I'm financially taking care of you because I
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  love you. Mmm.
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  Yeah. So so sayings like that does
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  cause some kind of distant with me like so you love me but you
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  don't want to make sure that I have food on my table.
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  Make it make sense. Sir, look how do you react to
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  people saying to? You know, hey I love you.
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  I this is changed now like obviously the first reaction
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  would be to just generally be like this and we're going to
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  have to kind of end this because no longer appropriate but like
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  how do you deal with that? And how have I don't say I love
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  you back in a serious way and and there's a variation of this,
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  because I've had men be like Are we friends?
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  Are we like we like best friends because you're like, the
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  closest? Woman to me, who isn't a blood
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  relative? And it's I hate how it turns my
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  stomach into knots. Because, of course, I want my
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  life to be filled with lots of friends and lots of love, but I
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  feel like when a lot of men, ask a woman, especially a woman that
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  they're paying for their time, are we friends that's like code
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  for? Do I have to keep paying you to
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  be nice to me, can you like Start being nice to me for free.
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  And when you meet a woman in her workplace it doesn't matter if
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  she works at a bookstore at a strip club, professional color.
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  Whatever, if you meet a woman in her book or in her workplace, it
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  is I would say incredibly rude to be alike.
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  How about you stop doing this job for me?
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  Because I'm like so awesome that you should give up your stream
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  of Revenue. Its It's mind-boggling, but a
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  lot of people think they're oh-so-special, wonderful
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  magical, that women whom they have a purely transactional,
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  relationship with. Should just give up their way of
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  putting food on the table. So, what you're saying?
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  It sounds like the majority of your client base is male then.
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  Oh yeah. I've yet to have my first female
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  client but female cuddle clients, do exist.
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  And what kind of age range? Are we talking as far as the men
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  are concerned? I would say that the
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  professional cuddlers who have their own domain Vlog and they
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  have all these fancy expensive certifications and they mostly
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  advertised on, you know, Facebook and Google.
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  I feel like they attract the 40 and up demographic.
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  More. I mainly advertise through
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  social media, so not saying that older people don't use social
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  media, but a lot of younger people are tech-savvy and what
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  sense do I attract a lot of the younger clientele.
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  And I, how do people reach out to exact time?
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  I suppose. It's it's not kind of like the
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  standard Way that you'd reach out to someone about something
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  like, how does it's all come together.
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  I asked people to email me their screening information and
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  sometimes people text that information to me, but I do
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  prefer giving out my phone numbers through email.
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  I tried not to advertise my phone number on my social media
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  because I don't want to get a bunch of like spam.
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  Ma'am. You have a separate phone or is
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  it your personal? Yeah, I do have a separate phone
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  number. This is the only day you
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  clearly, quite a young lady, I'm just like looking at this like
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  stressful older person. Like oh my God.
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  Is she is she did this? She does not like I'm just
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  stressing, right? Sorry.
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  I made a ton of mistakes. Yeah.
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  And I still make mistakes every now and then but nowhere near as
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  often as when I first started Okay, let's run.
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  I want to, I want to, I like to kind of go negative and positive
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  with this sort of stuff. So okay, let's start with the
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  negatives. Worst client interactions and
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  how you dealt with it. So as though the positive angle
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  to it but definitely sexual assault.
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  Oh my gosh, definitely be the worst.
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  All right, I'm sorry to hear that.
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  How did you get like we were able to at least Get the person
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  prosecuted like, you know, get some know this fella.
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  I've met somebody workers who try to prosper.
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  Yeah, tried to take abuse of clients to court.
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  I It's were cases in the United States take forever you can be
• 19:00
  completely no-fault someone else like crashed into your car and
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  it'll take two years of of going to court to get your check in
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  the mail. It's the justice system in the
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  u.s. is so slow and that is even if you do get that, you know,
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  one thousand dollar check in the end, And so I've tried to take
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  abusers in my personal life to court and that didn't work.
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  And so I assume that if, if it doesn't work in the personal
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  life, it's not going to work in the work life.
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  I'm really sorry to hear that. It just sucks like all the women
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  in my life that talk to you, all seem to have like a similar
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  story in some shape or form. This is really distressing and
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  sad to hear that. I try to find the silver lining
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  because at least they're being open with you about that because
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  a lot of people, they'll like, literally not tell anyone for 5
• 20:07
  years, 10 years, 20 years. They'll just not tell anyone and
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  they'll try to take this to the Grave, like women should suffer
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  in silence when no one should suffer in silence.
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  Given that that happened. Like how I must have obviously
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  made you question whether or not you should continue your
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  professions. Like how did you sort of move
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  forward thereafter with that in mind?
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  Well, I think back to why I started doing this in the first
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  place. Yes, I did it because I needed
• 20:49
  the money but also because it's a job that isn't physically
• 20:54
  demanding. I've worked jobs where I would
• 20:57
  be, you know, walking back and forth for seven hours, straight
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  eight hours straight, maybe nine hours straight, and I would get
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  paid maybe $600 a month for doing that and I would have to,
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  you know, give up my weekends give up.
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  The time that I normally spend with my grandparents and it's
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  just I chose to be a professional color because I get
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  to choose when I work I get to choose when I go on vacation I
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  get to choose how long I stay with a client.
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  Like I have this rule where if I'm cuddling someone for over
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  two hours, we have to go get food.
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  I am not going to starve myself or her client.
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  I'll never do that. at, and I didn't have this kind of Freedom
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  when I worked in retail. I didn't have this read on when
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  I worked in childcare and I love working with children and
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  children. Definitely didn't sexually
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  assault me. So, Those are just some of the
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  factors that made me. choose the job that I'm working today, and
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  It I knew from a young age that I wanted to become a teacher and
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  I tried doing the whole going to University to get a political
• 22:28
  science degree to get a teaching credential afterwards and then
• 22:32
  maybe graduate school. So I could become a high school
• 22:35
  teacher but I just cannot complete undergraduate school.
• 22:46
  While there is a pandemic going on and it was bad enough in
• 22:50
  2020. But now we're in 2023.
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  Were people pretend like, like covid is a non-issue, it's still
• 22:56
  an issue and I got covid for the second time this year in the
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  second time is worse than the first time and I say this as
• 23:05
  someone who's like fully vaccinated with all the
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  boosters. So it's just being a college
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  student during a pandemic, ruined, my mental health, but it
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  was It was honestly snuggling my clients and hearing them.
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  Tell me, thank you for doing this.
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  Thank you provide, thank you for providing this therapeutic
• 23:30
  service. That improved, my mental health.
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  It was not only a good experience for them.
• 23:36
  It was a good experience for me and I I mean, you love
• 23:43
  podcasting and I love podcasting.
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  If I I mean if I stopped professional cuddling today I
• 23:49
  guess I still would have things I could talk about for my
• 23:52
  podcast but then I would have to, I guess stop podcasting
• 23:58
  sooner because I would have Less information that I could share
• 24:03
  with the world. And That would break my heart.
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  I really love podcasting even though it's not something I
• 24:14
  profit off of it, I invested thousands of dollars into my
• 24:18
  podcasts and I feel like nobody knows that because I have you no
• 24:22
  less than 30 episodes but I genuinely care about my podcast
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  and I don't think any amount of bad clients.
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  I see. Has enough power to make me stop
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  doing a job that I could probably do until I die and fund
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  the vacations. That I want to go on, and give
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  me something to talk about to myself and to my interview
• 24:56
  guests. And it's just In a way, it's
• 25:01
  empowering. It's empowering to keep going.
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  Even when You face obstacles that you never anticipated
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  facing. No, I get what you mean and I
• 25:17
  think with what without you kind of built up as well.
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  But how this became a thing that, you know, you started as a
• 25:25
  side hustle and then it became something that Is part of you as
• 25:30
  part of what you offer and I've been there.
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  I've had moments when, you know life just was not it, you know,
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  everything's just not going well and sometimes the things that I
• 25:45
  kept doing like this stuff online, ultimately became a
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  point of, like, well, I might not be okay.
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  Things might not feel, okay? But at least I can offer this
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  and make other people feel, okay?
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  And that in essence kind of slowly, but surely makes you
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  feel better and stuff. And it's like, you know, like
• 26:07
  for instance, what you do for a living, like it's such a
• 26:11
  powerful thing. You think about hugging as a
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  concept like II don't often received hugs.
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  I like what? So when I do I'm like I say but
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  that last night amazing you know, like don't think it's
• 26:20
  these families. When I do it's like make the
• 26:22
  most of this, don't know when the next time is going to be.
• 26:26
  And it's like as you mentioned like Sometimes people can be
• 26:29
  going for, like, really difficult times and maybe that
• 26:33
  ugh is, you know, keeping them go.
• 26:37
  Oh no, it's just rough, tough one.
• 26:40
  And I wanted to kind of use that as a way to segue into more
• 26:43
  positive stuff. What would you say are the kind
• 26:47
  of most positive experiences you've had through this work?
• 26:50
  Like maybe the Best case scenarios where it's led to a
• 26:55
  person really kind of benefiting at Major Way. so, I don't know
• 27:07
  if you've ever gone through a friendship breakup but I wish
• 27:12
  friendship breakups were spoken about more often.
• 27:16
  And I've had some regulars, stop talking to me and it genuinely
• 27:24
  feels like a friendship breakup to me.
• 27:26
  And no one owes me an explanation.
• 27:29
  As to why they stopped seeing me, they could stop seeing me
• 27:31
  because of many reasons because they moved elsewhere.
• 27:34
  Like whatever reason they They have, it's valid.
• 27:37
  It's their life, they can do whatever they want, but it's I
• 27:44
  really do try to remember the things that the people I meet
• 27:49
  told me and I, I've had some people stopped seeing me but
• 27:58
  then in a year or two years something like that, they reach
• 28:01
  out and they're like hey it's been a while.
• 28:04
  Can we please catch up and it it melts my heart that they still
• 28:11
  think of me even though they haven't seen me and in a year or
• 28:15
  two and it's just, I don't know if I would get this out of other
• 28:25
  jobs like I used to work out a cafeteria.
• 28:31
  I definitely would not get someone saying, oh my gosh, I
• 28:35
  remember you it. I haven't been at this cafeteria
• 28:38
  teachers but and it's it's So, rewarding to make a difference
• 28:47
  in other people's lives, because that's why young me wanted to
• 28:51
  become a teacher, because I had teachers, who made a difference
• 28:54
  in my life, but there are so many problems within Academia.
• 28:57
  Like, I would hate to tell children, hey, I had to give you
• 29:00
  an F for this, which will impact your GPA, which will impact the
• 29:06
  likelihood of you getting into your dream College.
• 29:10
  I hate that part of Academia. I would love to just be a
• 29:14
  teacher. ER and not have to do those
• 29:18
  shitty things, like tell them, you only have four, bathroom
• 29:22
  passes for the entire semester like fuck that shit.
• 29:26
  I want to teach and Through my podcast through my writing,
• 29:32
  through all of those artistic mediums, I'm able to fulfill
• 29:35
  that desire without having to do the whole like parent-teacher
• 29:41
  conference and all that ugly stuff.
• 29:47
  I get it. I get it.
• 29:51
  Let's move it forward and because it actually I brought
• 29:55
  you on to talk about near-death experiences but like, I couldn't
• 29:58
  not talk about like your profession.
• 30:00
  And I just, I just think it's absolutely fascinating.
• 30:04
  And just like the way that you're helping people, keep
• 30:12
  doing what you do and be safe. Just remain safe.
• 30:15
  Please love God, right, let's talk near-death experiences.
• 30:23
  One of the things you told me is that you experienced a
• 30:25
  concussion, at the age of 18, walk us through this process.
• 30:36
  Let me preface this by saying, I have a very strained
• 30:42
  relationship with my mother and so I went to public school and
• 30:53
  as a kid, I was never taught. This is what happens when you
• 30:59
  break a bone. This is what happens when you
• 31:02
  get a concussion. I was never taught any of that,
• 31:07
  I I was pretty much taught. If you have sex, you'll get an
• 31:11
  STD and then you'll get pregnant and then you'll like then your
• 31:16
  vagina is ruined, something like that and over then you'll get an
• 31:21
  abortion and then your vagina is ruined or something like that.
• 31:24
  And so I wish I was taught More about my body.
• 31:30
  And yes, the scientific aspect. Like these are the different
• 31:34
  types of muscles in. These are the different layers
• 31:38
  of skin, but I wish I was also taught harm reduction.
• 31:42
  I was not taught. This is what you do.
• 31:47
  If you're recovering from an eating disorder, I was not
• 31:50
  taught. This is what you do.
• 31:53
  If you think you've had too many alcoholic drinks.
• 31:58
  My mom is not the kind of person who values harm reduction.
• 32:03
  She like so many other moms grew up during the Reagan Era, you
• 32:08
  know, War on Drugs, all that propaganda.
• 32:10
  And so, when I got a concussion at 18, I genuinely didn't know
• 32:16
  that. Something was wrong with me, and
• 32:21
  I literally had throbbing in my head for about nine, maybe ten.
• 32:27
  Two hours. And that's when I finally told
• 32:29
  my mom. Hey, I think I need to go to the
• 32:31
  emergency room and like many other adults.
• 32:35
  She was like, why didn't you tell me this sooner?
• 32:38
  But that's what happens when you don't teach children about their
• 32:41
  bodies. They'll literally break a bone
• 32:43
  and think, oh, it'll like be normal and, you know, 30
• 32:47
  minutes. Um, and so I went to the
• 32:51
  emergency room and then the doctor told me that I needed to
• 32:58
  get some sleep in that that would he'll that would heal me
• 33:03
  but my mom was definitely I would say she definitely went
• 33:09
  the carceral route because I had gotten the concussion in a
• 33:15
  locker room. And so, I was sticking my head
• 33:17
  in my locker, getting my backpack, or whatever out.
• 33:20
  And then I guess someone I was like walking by and and that
• 33:25
  momentum, slammed the locker door on my head.
• 33:29
  I don't think anyone like I'm sure kids, like, kids can be
• 33:33
  Rowdy, they can rough house but I generally don't think anyone
• 33:38
  Had malicious intent and was like, I'm gonna give someone a
• 33:41
  concussion today. I don't know, I think it was
• 33:44
  purely accidental but my mom, she was like, no, no, no.
• 33:49
  We need to like report this to all that gym, teachers and tell
• 33:53
  them to be on the lookout for like some some bad faith person
• 33:58
  who's like out there slamming Locker doors on people's heads
• 34:02
  like I think High School movies do have a lot of Truth to them,
• 34:08
  but I think the whole like shoving people into lockers,
• 34:12
  like, putting veggies and lockers, I think that's
• 34:17
  something that is super dramatized.
• 34:20
  Like, I don't think, yes, Bullying happens.
• 34:24
  But I don't think Bullying happens in that way.
• 34:29
  But my mom was like, Supercar sore or Cyril about it and I was
• 34:34
  like, Mom, Making me very uncomfortable.
• 34:36
  I'm not going to go on a Witch Hunt.
• 34:39
  I'm not going to try to give a classmate detention or
• 34:45
  suspension or or any of that. I just I just wanted to focus on
• 34:50
  my health but you know, my mom is not that kind of person and I
• 34:58
  wish she was the kind of person who just focused on health and
• 35:07
  hopefully she gets better in the future.
• 35:13
  What did your kind of recovery process look like for that?
• 35:19
  Well, I'm able to laugh about it now because when I got a
• 35:26
  concussion, I had to take the entire day off.
• 35:29
  And my parents rarely ever, let me skip a day in school.
• 35:34
  But they're like, you know, what, you had a micro concussion
• 35:39
  eight doctor, confirmed that, so you're not going to be going,
• 35:44
  you're not going to be going to school the next day and The next
• 35:49
  day, Donald Trump got elected. And so I miss the entire day of
• 35:54
  school when everybody found out. and yeah, there were some
• 36:03
  protests at my school teachers were crying and I missed all of
• 36:07
  that but I think I remember going to a coffee shop.
• 36:13
  This was a coffee shop. I went to religiously when I was
• 36:16
  in high school and I was telling the Barista who was there like
• 36:20
  every day. Yeah.
• 36:23
  Got a concussion. And you know, Donald Trump got
• 36:27
  elected and and then the Barista was like wait did Donald Trump
• 36:33
  getting elected? Give you the concussion so I can
• 36:37
  joke about that now. Because well, I can laugh about
• 36:40
  it. No, it's good. well Jesus, um I
• 36:48
  think you mentioned that you'd had like other near-death
• 36:50
  experiences that just run us through this like what
• 36:53
  experiences have you had and then there's sort of like that
• 36:57
  delve into that a little bit more.
• 36:59
  So I didn't mention this earlier but one of the reasons why being
• 37:05
  a professional color is great is because it's not a physically
• 37:11
  demanding job and I have a disability called food dependent
• 37:16
  exercise and do Anaphylaxis. And so it's I believe a very
• 37:22
  rare disability but for me it's I get I got an allergic reaction
• 37:32
  if I exercise shortly after eating foods that I'm allergic
• 37:39
  to and it's very fickle because I've had days where I would go
• 37:45
  out dancing about three hours, Hours after eating a pizza.
• 37:49
  And I would break out into hives.
• 37:51
  But then there are other days where I eat shellfish, and then
• 37:54
  maybe 90 minutes later, I do some vigorous activity and I
• 37:58
  don't get an allergic reaction, so it's very fickle.
• 38:02
  And I just interject for a second.
• 38:05
  You said that, it's Only with foods that you were allergic to.
• 38:10
  Yes. So I'm allergic to shellfish,
• 38:14
  alcohol, nuts, and non legume wheat zone, right?
• 38:21
  So, this is kind of like, in your Discovery phase like you,
• 38:24
  like, you didn't know that you're allergic to all these
• 38:26
  different things. And then you find out like three
• 38:28
  hours later, like, kind of election when I was 13.
• 38:33
  I saw an allergenic stand, he ran some blood tests and
• 38:36
  thankfully When the results were concluded, it was all accurate.
• 38:42
  So many other disabled people. They have to run all of these
• 38:46
  hormone tests blood tests for years, and years and years of
• 38:50
  their lives until they finally get the accurate result.
• 38:56
  But for me, I got the accurate results.
• 39:00
  After one visit to the allergen assists office when I was a
• 39:05
  minor and yeah, I wish. I knew this about myself when I
• 39:09
  was maybe 7 or 6 years old, but at least I got to know this
• 39:14
  about myself when I was still a kid and I I love dancing.
• 39:21
  I don't think I should give up all physical activity to
• 39:27
  accommodate my disability. So I'm going to keep dancing and
• 39:31
  I'm going to keep professional cuddling because I don't have to
• 39:36
  walk up hills, or run, or do any of that.
• 39:41
  So, how have you learned to kind of live with this condition like
• 39:44
  in what ways other than kind of obviously avoiding certain foods
• 39:48
  and such how is it changed your life?
• 39:51
  Or how do you how does it affect your day-to-day life?
• 39:54
  I, sadly was not really taught how to cook when I was a kid and
• 40:01
  that's something everyone should learn, not just people with FDA
• 40:04
  Ein, but as an adult, I don't live with my parents anymore and
• 40:10
  so I get to cook for I can cook whenever I want.
• 40:19
  And there have been many times where I would go to a restaurant
• 40:25
  and the people there, they don't ask me.
• 40:31
  About my food allergies. And it's, and it's strange,
• 40:33
  because there have been days where I would be asked about my
• 40:36
  allergies, and then I would not have any physical activity plan
• 40:42
  for the rest of the day, but then, there would be days where
• 40:44
  I do have some, like, physical activities but then the waiter
• 40:49
  wouldn't would not ask me about my food allergies, and it's just
• 40:55
  When you cook, you know, what you're putting in your body.
• 41:01
  and, Looking has. in a way, brought me closer to my
• 41:07
  significant other because, well, My significant other sadly
• 41:13
  cannot visit his mom often because she lives on the other
• 41:17
  side of the Pacific Ocean. And so I've been asking him to
• 41:23
  teach me how to cook the recipes that she made for him when he
• 41:28
  was a kid. And I'll be honest, not the most
• 41:33
  recent one, it was very Bland, but I was like, if I add like
• 41:39
  onion and garlic, And all these spices to this rice dish.
• 41:44
  Am I, like, gentrifying your mom's recipe when you were a
• 41:47
  kid? And he's like, no, no, that's
• 41:48
  fine. If you think it needs more
• 41:50
  seasoning, you can add as much seasoning as you want.
• 41:52
  That's always a point that content to visit us, but
• 41:54
  especially, when you hit the bad times, I've been sitting here
• 41:58
  like a dinner table. Someone like, has been cooking,
• 42:01
  a wonderful meal. They bring it over and then
• 42:03
  someone immediately doesn't without even thinking just goes
• 42:06
  and grabs like, for the salt, it's like you don't even try to
• 42:09
  food, man. Come on.
• 42:12
  Come on, Jesus. And one question I got to ask
• 42:16
  actually, just throwing it back to before our discussion about,
• 42:19
  you're cuddling. Obviously, probably should have
• 42:22
  asked if you had a partner or because I think that that does
• 42:24
  actually affect a lot of things. What is your partner think of
• 42:28
  your profession? Like, how does that was his
• 42:30
  opinion on it? How do you guys deal with a must
• 42:33
  be all good. He's, he's so proud of me and I
• 42:36
  could definitely imagine someone wanting to date a Fringe person
• 42:42
  like me so they could tell their friends and family.
• 42:45
  Can you believe that Felicity does this like?
• 42:49
  Oh my God, but he's not like that at all.
• 42:52
  He's very proud of me and when okay, so I I speak radical
• 43:00
  honesty because my job requires that I be a radically open
• 43:05
  minded person. So I also speak radically,
• 43:07
  honestly, this goes back to the whole when people ask, how are
• 43:13
  you, I tell them the truth and so my partner has been like I'm
• 43:18
  kind of, I'm kind of reluctant to introduce you to my
• 43:21
  conservative family members because I know you like speak
• 43:25
  radically honestly, because it's I like giving people the benefit
• 43:31
  of the doubt. I like to assume that good
• 43:36
  things happen. If I speak to someone new and I
• 43:43
  think that people can change when you give them Grace.
• 43:47
  And it just think that's one of the beautiful Parts about
• 43:51
  podcasting because it's a it's an audio format.
• 43:55
  I'm not here to judge you on how you look.
• 43:57
  Look, and yeah, when I'm professionally cuddling people I
• 44:03
  see what they look like. But I'm not there to judge them
• 44:07
  on how they look. I'm there to just connect with
• 44:10
  them on a human to human level and it's like last night my
• 44:18
  partner was talking to his mom on the phone and he was saying
• 44:20
  all these things about me that I never would have expected him to
• 44:24
  say about me because you know his mom is a boomer She grew up
• 44:29
  with Reaganomics and all that and it says that such a trigger
• 44:32
  a disease. Put it like that.
• 44:35
  What? Just let has negative
• 44:36
  connotations stuff? Sorry.
• 44:38
  Bruised. Love you.
• 44:40
  It's okay. It was just, he wasn't it.
• 44:44
  Sounded like he wasn't speaking with her like a mom.
• 44:47
  Please don't get frustrated, please don't judge her but she
• 44:50
  does this. It was more of a I'm proud of
• 44:52
  her and she does this and she does that and I think it's
• 44:57
  great. Yeah, I mean I think the most
• 45:00
  awesome aspect to this is like that he's supportive and it's
• 45:04
  not, you know, because you could that you could be with someone
• 45:06
  who's madly jealous and that would be a problem, you know?
• 45:10
  If that's that's what you want, really, isn't it?
• 45:12
  And their relationships, just someone who's supportive.
• 45:14
  Let's imagine that it's less bucket.
• 45:18
  Let's get back to near death experiences.
• 45:22
  With the experiences that you've had, this is the question that
• 45:25
  I've kind of asked all my guests so far that have have
• 45:28
  experienced near-death experiences. when you were out
• 45:34
  during these experiences, was there.
• 45:37
  Anything untoward you saw anything you recall taught us
• 45:42
  about your death experiences? Oh, I assumed that I would at
• 45:54
  some point. Bring up suicide and it was.
• 46:01
  And so I have a story. It is there's, it doesn't have
• 46:05
  to do with me being suicidal, but I've had I've had clients
• 46:09
  who were suicidal and I know that this is a super
• 46:17
  controversial topic because some people think well, if you know,
• 46:22
  someone who is suicidal, you need to stay by them.
• 46:25
  You need to stick unit is stay by their side forever and ever.
• 46:30
  And there are other people who are like, if your mental health
• 46:37
  is declining and Being with a suicidal person is making your
• 46:43
  mental health worse than it's okay to walk away.
• 46:46
  And I'm not here to take sides but I do have a story.
• 46:53
  So I used to have a cuddle client who was suicidal and I
• 47:01
  found his mother on Facebook and I reached out to her and I was
• 47:06
  like, hey, You don't know me, but I am close with your son and
• 47:12
  it's saddens me to say that he is suicidal.
• 47:17
  Please talk to him. and, I think.
• 47:27
  I think his mom had a conversation with him and it
• 47:29
  went well, his mom didn't say anything to me.
• 47:32
  Besides thank you for telling me this and then we just never
• 47:35
  correspond it again. But I'm assuming after he and
• 47:40
  his mom, had a conversation. He reached out to me and was
• 47:44
  like, Hey I want to invite you to this one event that's
• 47:49
  happening. In a Hotel conference room.
• 47:53
  And so I was like, okay, I'll meet up with you and mind you,
• 47:58
  he was not like compensating me for my time.
• 48:01
  I was like I feel bad for this person because he's considered
• 48:06
  suicide in recent history and I don't know if his mom spoke to
• 48:11
  him at all, maybe she did and it made things worse.
• 48:14
  Like, I don't know what was happening in his personal life,
• 48:17
  but I was like, you know what? I'll just do this for him for
• 48:20
  free, big mistake. And so I get there and it's a
• 48:25
  Like a recruiting event for a pyramid scheme.
• 48:28
  Oh no time. I didn't know what pyramid
• 48:31
  schemes were no listening to a bunch of people talk into a
• 48:34
  microphone, but there were being so vague and I was like, I have
• 48:37
  no idea what people are talking about.
• 48:40
  And so, I called my parents because I still don't live with
• 48:43
  my parents at the time. They didn't know.
• 48:45
  I was a professional cuddler, but I called them.
• 48:47
  And I was like, hey, I'm at this conference at this hotel.
• 48:53
  Please pick me up and thankfully, the hotel Wasn't too
• 48:55
  far away. But on on the drive home, I
• 48:59
  decided to call another cuddle client that I had at the time,
• 49:03
  he and I don't speak anymore, but I called him and I was like,
• 49:06
  hey, what's that thing? You?
• 49:08
  I think you briefly mentioned in passing is, is called little.
• 49:13
  What was that thing? And I try to describe it.
• 49:15
  He's like, oh pyramid scheme now.
• 49:18
  It's like yeah, I did tell me what that is and he's like,
• 49:20
  okay, this is how pyramid schemes work and It just sucks
• 49:26
  how pyramid schemes they like prey on single moms like broke
• 49:31
  college students, suicidal people like they prey on some of
• 49:36
  the most marginalized people and it just I had to cut off all
• 49:40
  communication with him. Like yes I should have or maybe
• 49:45
  I should have stayed with him and try to talk him out of the
• 49:48
  pyramid scheme. But This is a tricky, tricky
• 49:55
  one. I think I get where you're
• 49:57
  coming from, the kind of professional obligation because
• 49:59
  it's like, where do you draw the line?
• 50:01
  Like you, you have to think about your own safety.
• 50:03
  You think about you have to think about the needs of the
• 50:05
  client, but also, It's far as like the services that you
• 50:11
  offer. I mean that if you were
• 50:13
  therapist may be a little bit different, maybe you could refer
• 50:16
  them, someone else this things you could do like with what you
• 50:19
  do. I don't know that there was
• 50:21
  really anything you could do. Other than to tell them like,
• 50:25
  this is a really bad idea. You need to get away from this.
• 50:29
  Like what else can you say really?
• 50:31
  And there's an area like that. Yeah, there's there are few
• 50:35
  professional cuddlers who make it past the 10 year mark.
• 50:39
  I've, I've heard us, okay, I probably shouldn't name names,
• 50:43
  but I know of a professional Cutler.
• 50:46
  Who retired after nine years and it I'm just speculating but it
• 50:52
  seems like The reason why she retired is because throughout
• 50:57
  all of the years of snuggling, her clients, she would just
• 51:02
  absorb all the pain that they were carrying. and it became so
• 51:11
  unhealthy for her that she just had to leave permanently and it
• 51:17
  is my job to hold space for people.
• 51:20
  And it's my job to listen and be empathetic but it is unhealthy
• 51:27
  to try to be like Atlas and carry the weight of the world.
• 51:32
  My job is not to carry the weight of the world.
• 51:35
  One person cannot do that. That leads to burnout you ever
• 51:41
  end up like dating a client or having a sort of inappropriate
• 51:44
  relationship yet like and or something to that effect.
• 51:49
  Oh yeah. I started when I was 19 and we
• 51:56
  all do stupid shit when we were 19.
• 51:59
  Like that's why you like that one client.
• 52:03
  I spoke about whom I called on the phone and asked him to
• 52:08
  explain to me what a pyramid scheme was.
• 52:11
  I tried to date him and I know you didn't chase pyramid scheme
• 52:17
  and feels like I'm not going to introduce you to my parents but
• 52:21
  I'm glad I left that. You dated pyramid scheme Guy,
• 52:26
  come on up here, mad scheme guy, the guy, the guy, the guy over
• 52:31
  what a pyramid scheme is because I think I tried to get I think
• 52:34
  someone tried to recruit me. Yeah.
• 52:37
  So there's like a defendant. Okay, let's refrain this
• 52:41
  question little bit. How did that kind of transition
• 52:43
  into that form of relationship? Because obviously that was a
• 52:46
  client of yours and while you were younger and you know, we
• 52:50
  make silly mistakes when were younger You know, you still had
• 52:54
  your a degree of professionalism balance.
• 52:56
  You must have kind of thought, like, this is inappropriate.
• 52:59
  Clearly, you know, I need to end this excetera.
• 53:02
  Like how did that transition into that?
• 53:04
  Well like I said, I was financially unstable when I
• 53:09
  began and so this guy was like, you know, I could have you move
• 53:13
  in with me so you don't have to live with your parents anymore
• 53:16
  and I also like take care of all the bills. and now what was that
• 53:22
  was like a dream come true to nineteen-year-old me and Like a
• 53:28
  lot of traditional immigrant parents.
• 53:32
  They tell their daughters don't move out of my house, until you
• 53:36
  get married with a man and it's just old-fashioned.
• 53:41
  So women should just never experienced.
• 53:45
  Living by themselves. Women have to always be
• 53:51
  dependent on a man. And yes, there are many healthy
• 53:55
  relationships out there where somebody is financially
• 53:58
  dependent on another person but just telling your dog.
• 54:02
  I don't know if the Sun is get taught this but telling your
• 54:05
  daughters they can only move out if they're married to a man,
• 54:09
  like like what if you're not compatible, I fully endorse.
• 54:14
  With a partner before marrying them.
• 54:17
  And Like to tell your it's just that kind of mentality.
• 54:25
  Teaches girls, you instead of marrying for love.
• 54:29
  You shouldn't marry into money. Hmm, and yes, money can make
• 54:35
  life easier but it doesn't always make you happier.
• 54:41
  Like, I'm pretty much every single person I've dated since I
• 54:46
  was 19 or not 19 pretty much every person.
• 54:50
  I've dated since I was 20 made at least a hundred thousand
• 54:54
  dollars a year. and, I can assure you.
• 55:00
  Money doesn't equal happiness. It makes life easier.
• 55:03
  It doesn't necessarily sorry the alarm is going off, but it
• 55:07
  doesn't always make you happier. And so I wish I was told instead
• 55:14
  that I should learn how to provide for myself.
• 55:21
  So I have my standards. Like money is bare fucking
• 55:27
  minimum. I think if you're going to live
• 55:31
  with someone being a relationship with someone marry
• 55:35
  someone, they should love you and understand boundaries.
• 55:40
  And Create a strong stable Foundation built on trust, I
• 55:46
  think. I'm just like trashing my
• 55:51
  parents on this podcast, but I think my parents didn't raise
• 55:55
  me, right? Right.
• 55:58
  And I think what they say about marrying into money is untrue.
• 56:03
  I like so many. So many women were told, if you
• 56:08
  marry into money, you never have to work a day in your life, or
• 56:11
  as well. I do my research and it seems
• 56:14
  like If you marry into money, you work every single day of
• 56:19
  your life. And I don't want to do that
• 56:23
  based on what was it, like, parenting like the domestics, or
• 56:28
  just having to also work in addition to all her like the
• 56:32
  emotional labor, right? Oh my gosh, having to bend to
• 56:39
  another person's Frenetic emotions.
• 56:44
  And I'm not saying that being emotional is bad, but like when
• 56:50
  you marry someone purely because they have money, and you don't,
• 56:54
  you pretty much Are at their Mercy, easy to think about it,
• 57:00
  isn't it? Yeah, yeah, especially, yeah.
• 57:04
  If it's a scenario or a dynamic, I should say where one person is
• 57:08
  solely relying on the other person and then the other person
• 57:12
  then I don't know, changes, their mind and changes the
• 57:15
  scenarios of. What do you do then?
• 57:17
  Like I look at because I think it's quite clear that your
• 57:21
  parents were obviously, came from a different generation
• 57:24
  different mentality. That's a gonna be a big factor.
• 57:26
  but I wonder why that particular generation didn't think about
• 57:31
  just the very maybe they overlook this.
• 57:36
  Maybe I'm being a bit mean, but like the concept that like your
• 57:40
  child going out to the adult World should, at least know how
• 57:44
  to just kind of take care of themselves just in case, you
• 57:47
  know, just be able to for example, as you mentioned
• 57:51
  cooking and be able to like prepare food for oneself, be
• 57:55
  able to you know, live alone like I think living alone as a
• 57:59
  concept is Much harder than people realize, like, even
• 58:04
  things. Like, and I bet that generation
• 58:07
  just never really dealt with with this.
• 58:09
  But like, how to deal with loneliness, how to help like
• 58:13
  healthily deal with that, like not think.
• 58:15
  Okay, I'm gonna go to a bar and drink my problems away because
• 58:19
  that'll make me feel better because there's people there.
• 58:21
  Hmm, didn't it? Yeah.
• 58:25
  Like I feel like I'm learning how to become an adult is kind
• 58:28
  of thing in of itself. It's like a science.
• 58:31
  In a sense, it's like a series of trial and error.
• 58:34
  And ultimately, a lot of it comes down to that.
• 58:37
  And also the people you end up fraternizing with like some of
• 58:40
  its luck and that luck. Then the turbines The kind of
• 58:46
  lessons that you go through harder or easier depending on
• 58:49
  how quickly you learn the lessons, I guess.
• 58:52
  That's so poignant as an Asian girl and I know this does not
• 58:57
  only apply to Asians, but as an Asian girl a lot of us were
• 59:01
  taught. Oh, you should know how to do
• 59:03
  laundry and cook food. So that a man will want to marry
• 59:07
  you. It's less, you should learn how
• 59:10
  to cook food so that you can take in a bunch of healthy
• 59:13
  nutrients and Ins and s'more of. So that men want to marry you,
• 59:18
  it's awful. My life, does not revolve around
• 59:22
  some hypothetical man, some hypothetical father or or
• 59:28
  husband or any of that, okay? This probe that little bit more
• 59:33
  because, I mean, I think it's clear, you've probably since day
• 59:37
  one always been quite opinionated, like, quite happy
• 59:40
  to say, I've been very opinion about this quite happy to say,
• 59:43
  like, well, actually. And Nothing.
• 59:45
  That's good. You know, it's good to have that
• 59:46
  kind of strong convictions especially at young age.
• 59:48
  When you've got adults sort of saying like no, this is how the
• 59:51
  world works and you're like well what about this?
• 59:54
  Given that in mind. I imagine you often challenged
• 59:59
  to parents on a lot of these kind of older stereotypes and
• 1:00:01
  simple. What if I want to go out and
• 1:00:03
  just make my own career more wife?
• 1:00:05
  Maybe. I don't want to have children.
• 1:00:06
  Like, did you pose those kind of questions to them?
• 1:00:09
  How did they take that? How did that kind of those
• 1:00:13
  arguments in soon? It's not as though, I want to
• 1:00:16
  sit and focus on arguments, but like, I guess what I want to
• 1:00:19
  kind of focus on is more. The challenge aspect, like, how
• 1:00:22
  you navigated that and ultimately pushed through and
• 1:00:26
  then you No became the successful person.
• 1:00:28
  You are now a lot of cuddle clients like me because I
• 1:00:32
  showcase my personality, they appreciate my conviction but the
• 1:00:38
  best part is that I'm not highly opinionated so I can attract
• 1:00:43
  more wealthy male clients. It's that's just that's just how
• 1:00:47
  I am and and people gravitate towards that energy and it's and
• 1:00:52
  it's copacetic and so like you you Brought up children and I
• 1:00:58
  have very strong opinions about children and I don't think
• 1:01:03
  there's one right way to raise a child but I do have a lot of
• 1:01:09
  opinions like children should be exposed to like a multitude of
• 1:01:20
  angles and one of the things I hated as a child, I would be
• 1:01:25
  told things like this. Is the correct way to interpret
• 1:01:29
  this like old piece of English literature and I'm like, no, no,
• 1:01:33
  no, I don't like this book. In my opinion is valid.
• 1:01:36
  Honestly, why are you trying to get 14 year olds to care about
• 1:01:42
  Romeo and Juliet? Oh God, it is possible to get
• 1:01:46
  them to like Shakespeare but we gotta we don't need to treat
• 1:01:53
  children like adults and that's fine.
• 1:01:55
  There are books intended for adults in their books, intended
• 1:01:57
  for kids. And there are reasons behind
• 1:02:00
  that, but if you want to get children interested in, you
• 1:02:05
  know, Shakespeare you gotta you gotta speak to them like a child
• 1:02:08
  because they are children. You got to meet them, where
• 1:02:12
  they're at, what just just talk about Shakespeare's.
• 1:02:15
  Well, I was talking about this in a live stream the other day
• 1:02:17
  because this we obviously in England did Shakespeare to death
• 1:02:21
  and the biggest problem I found with Shakespeare other than
• 1:02:24
  having to try and read it in the Old English without a
• 1:02:27
  translation. What were you thinking?
• 1:02:29
  Like we need to be able to know what it says anyway, They're
• 1:02:36
  plays. They're supposed to be
• 1:02:38
  performed, not red. If we'd have perform them in
• 1:02:42
  class. Yeah.
• 1:02:43
  And we could have had fun with it when I have to be serious,
• 1:02:45
  but if we did perform them, we would have seen how it's
• 1:02:48
  supposed to be and where the entertainment could barely comes
• 1:02:51
  from. If you sit down and just read
• 1:02:54
  the plays, they're boring. They're so boring because
• 1:02:58
  they're not supposed to be interpreted in that manner.
• 1:03:01
  Makes, you know, that's that list of most frustrating.
• 1:03:04
  Because I remember when I finally Did watch like, you
• 1:03:07
  know, some of the movie adaptations, we're not going to
• 1:03:10
  count their image of X. That's trash that I'm assuming
• 1:03:14
  you saw the same one that I saw. Horrible, the Ye Olde English
• 1:03:18
  one and the Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah.
• 1:03:22
  Train wreck good. Because that's the thing I
• 1:03:25
  think. I don't know if we saw the EOD
• 1:03:27
  1. The 0 d 1 is acceptable.
• 1:03:28
  It's what it's supposed to be that Leonardo DiCaprio won like
• 1:03:32
  ah Oh, such torture man. I don't know what they were
• 1:03:40
  trying to do. I guess I was just trying to
• 1:03:42
  modernize guns in two shakes. Yes, I'd doesn't know.
• 1:03:46
  It's just bad but no, but there were some good adaptations.
• 1:03:50
  I saw a really good version of Macbeth Much Ado About Nothing.
• 1:03:55
  I could see there's a lot of good in Shakespeare but yeah,
• 1:03:58
  the way they teach it and the way you to your, your bigger
• 1:04:02
  point with that is that they tell you, this is how you have
• 1:04:05
  to interpret this this How you have to do this and it's like,
• 1:04:07
  well, you know, everyone interprets things in different
• 1:04:10
  ways. If me, and you both see a car
• 1:04:13
  crash at the side of the street, we're going to interpret that in
• 1:04:15
  different ways and we might have a very different analysis, the
• 1:04:18
  same event. And it's like that's just part
• 1:04:21
  of being human and when you sit and you go, okay.
• 1:04:24
  Well who's telling the truth is that while we could both be
• 1:04:26
  telling the truth is both our church individual troops based
• 1:04:29
  on how we see the world. And yes you could say that one
• 1:04:33
  of us is lying, one of us is not but like if we're both knowing
• 1:04:36
  the truth and we do have a different story that comes down
• 1:04:39
  to interpretation and Analysis. So it's interested, I want to
• 1:04:45
  just go back to near death experiences And asked a lot of
• 1:04:52
  people that have had on the show that was spoken about it.
• 1:04:54
  I have spoken about kind of like Quote unquote, our paranormal
• 1:04:58
  experiences. One guess they had on the show.
• 1:05:02
  Mr. Kyle, jing'an spoke about this idea of seeing something to
• 1:05:07
  the effect of like a million different screens and just kind
• 1:05:10
  of taken that in and, you know, but he was out for a while and
• 1:05:14
  then he came back, but that's what he saw during that time.
• 1:05:16
  Did you see anything like that in your experiences?
• 1:05:20
  What do you recall? I don't think I've ever had.
• 1:05:26
  Sleep paralysis or I don't think I've ever been in a coma.
• 1:05:31
  I I do watch a lot of, you know, the mystery files ghost files,
• 1:05:40
  paranormal stuff on YouTube, but I I don't know what my beliefs
• 1:05:50
  are on ghosts. I do think we could revamp a lot
• 1:05:57
  of ghost stories, because so many of them are like, so this
• 1:06:01
  one person in the 1800s and I'm like, okay, people have died
• 1:06:04
  since then. Where are the ghosts, who are
• 1:06:06
  alike singing? What Is Love by hat away?
• 1:06:09
  Because if I died if I died today, I would definitely be,
• 1:06:13
  you know, partying with the other dead people singing, What
• 1:06:16
  is love? and, and it's just like what you
• 1:06:20
  said with Shakespeare because it is possible to make Interesting
• 1:06:25
  adaptations of really old pieces of work.
• 1:06:28
  I love historical fiction when it comes to Broadway musicals, I
• 1:06:33
  don't read the books. I'm sorry, I don't read
• 1:06:35
  historical fiction books, but I'm sure there's plenty of great
• 1:06:38
  ones, but I love, I love theater.
• 1:06:42
  And some of my favorite Broadway musicals are historical fiction
• 1:06:47
  like six. That's about King Henry, the 8th
• 1:06:50
  Six Wives and it's It's a comedy but it's also performed by like
• 1:06:57
  a girl group of rock stars telling their stories about what
• 1:07:00
  their life was, pre-marriage and enduring marriage.
• 1:07:03
  And and it's just a very interesting way of teaching
• 1:07:09
  historical fiction and where was I going with this?
• 1:07:17
  Like we got a we got to make paranormal shit accessible like
• 1:07:25
  like musicals, I say that Knowing damn well that tickets
• 1:07:28
  to Broadway theaters or astronomical but it's just when
• 1:07:37
  people hear the word adaptation, they most often think of a movie
• 1:07:44
  and there are a lot of good movie adaptations out there, but
• 1:07:50
  so many there's so many bad adaptations out there as well.
• 1:07:55
  And so maybe you know what, maybe we shouldn't.
• 1:07:57
  Default assume that an adaptation is movie.
• 1:07:59
  Maybe we should be like hmm. What if we turn this book into a
• 1:08:04
  video game or what if what if we turn this into a musical?
• 1:08:11
  Why haven't we tried that like? The final quickfire questions
• 1:08:20
  for you. What do you value?
• 1:08:25
  Most in life and why? I'm pausing for dramatic effect,
• 1:08:34
  even though, I know that, Demo, please as cliche as it sounds, I
• 1:08:40
  think. I think love is the most
• 1:08:45
  important thing in life because I don't think you can measure it
• 1:08:50
  on some kind of metric scale. it's a unifying thing like we
• 1:08:58
  don't have to speak the same language but we could still be
• 1:09:03
  familiar with love and I could talk about languages all day,
• 1:09:10
  like I don't think we need to globalize the entire planet with
• 1:09:13
  English, but we already have love that that already unifies
• 1:09:19
  us all and There there. I don't think there's only one.
• 1:09:26
  Right way to love, but that in of itself is beautiful and I say
• 1:09:37
  this Knowing damn well that pride month is coming very soon.
• 1:09:40
  I'm not doing this on purpose but love is the most valuable
• 1:09:47
  thing in the world and that has that has nothing to do with
• 1:09:52
  capitalistic value in a way. Capitalism is the antithesis of
• 1:09:56
  love and I feel like that's going to be like the tagline for
• 1:10:01
  this episode capitalism is an antithesis of love, but Love is
• 1:10:10
  supposed to feel free. I don't I can't do what so many
• 1:10:18
  of my Asian peers do and that is understand that their parents
• 1:10:23
  could be doing better, but they'll just keep a distance
• 1:10:29
  from them for self-preservation reasons.
• 1:10:32
  Like when I came out to my mom as polyamorous and as a sex
• 1:10:38
  worker and all that she doesn't know I'm a professional Cutler
• 1:10:42
  yet, but when I came out to my mom, it was it was not like one
• 1:10:47
  day. I sat them down at a table in
• 1:10:49
  front of me and told them it was my mom Googling stuff.
• 1:10:54
  Because I told her that I was volunteering with an
• 1:10:57
  organization and then she Googled the organization and
• 1:11:00
  then she put two and two together and was like, are you a
• 1:11:04
  sex worker? And I was like, yeah, it was not
• 1:11:08
  how I wanted her to find out I wanted.
• 1:11:10
  I would rather see know these things because I told her but I
• 1:11:13
  was like, I'm not going to lie to you.
• 1:11:14
  I am and we still talk to each other, but she Jesus, she knows
• 1:11:24
  a little about sex work, but I can't really blame her because I
• 1:11:26
  think I'm the only sex worker in her life.
• 1:11:30
  Who is out about it? I genuinely think that we all
• 1:11:34
  have met a sex worker before or we all have relatives who are
• 1:11:39
  sex workers, but they're just not open about it and like
• 1:11:44
  everyone has a right to privacy but Like I said before, I think
• 1:11:50
  people can change if you give them Grace.
• 1:11:53
  And so if I just never talk about a very important part of
• 1:11:57
  my life, I can't really expect them to.
• 1:12:02
  As much as I want them to go out on their own and and do some
• 1:12:06
  Empirical research, and all that good stuff.
• 1:12:08
  Like I can't. It can be overwhelming to have
• 1:12:13
  to find out about all of these. All of these things on your own
• 1:12:17
  and when I was a professional cuddler at 19, I literally was
• 1:12:21
  all alone. I had no Mentor.
• 1:12:24
  I didn't even have like an accountant who has done taxes
• 1:12:27
  for professional cuddlers before.
• 1:12:29
  I was all alone, I was doing all of my own research, I had nobody
• 1:12:33
  to look up to and And as, as much as I wish that other people
• 1:12:41
  would go out on their own and explore, its it can be
• 1:12:47
  overwhelming to do that. And that's why I have my podcast
• 1:12:50
  and that's why I'm, you know, radically honest and try to give
• 1:12:54
  people the benefit of the doubt. So I go to the mosque.
• 1:12:58
  You've classified yourself quite a few times now, is being a sex
• 1:13:01
  worker and Is that so does that mean that professional cuddle
• 1:13:10
  cuddling is classified under that?
• 1:13:12
  Or is this something you do in addition to that, like, oh, I do
• 1:13:15
  things in addition to that. Okay, I don't mind when people
• 1:13:21
  consider professional calling as sex work, but that is because
• 1:13:29
  Both sex workers and professional cuddlers, lack
• 1:13:32
  legal protection. There are no laws at least in
• 1:13:36
  the United States. That's a sex workers.
• 1:13:39
  Can do whatever they feel comfortable doing or
• 1:13:41
  professional cuddlers are legally allowed to do.
• 1:13:44
  Whatever it is that they feel comfortable doing.
• 1:13:47
  There's no legal protection, so I don't really mind.
• 1:13:51
  Is that crossover between those two things?
• 1:13:53
  Do you have like a lot of clients that you've had who've
• 1:13:57
  been? Throughout the world will be
• 1:14:00
  clear-cut of clients that have been transitioned into more than
• 1:14:03
  that, or these things, two, separate worlds for you.
• 1:14:07
  Like, how does that work? I do try to keep them separate.
• 1:14:11
  I say that as someone who uses the same stage name, when I
• 1:14:17
  started as a professional cuddler, I went by Marlene.
• 1:14:21
  And then I went by Felicity for everything else.
• 1:14:23
  Now I go by Felicity for everything because I it's just I
• 1:14:34
  knew from the get-go not to use my legal name, it's too
• 1:14:39
  dangerous to use your legal name for cuddling or sex or cranny of
• 1:14:44
  that and it's like it's like mind-blowing to me that so many
• 1:14:49
  professional cuddlers, use their legal name.
• 1:14:52
  Some of them use their first name and last name and that just
• 1:14:55
  it scares me man. I'm not trying to judge them but
• 1:15:00
  Like they tell me. Oh yeah my parents, my my family
• 1:15:03
  knows that I do this and so that's why I'm using my
• 1:15:06
  government name but Don't tell me stuff like oh yeah my family
• 1:15:12
  they mainly use Facebook and and I say things on Twitter that I
• 1:15:18
  don't really want my family to know, but I'm trying to think
• 1:15:22
  from the cuddle clients perspective, they might think.
• 1:15:24
  Oh, I guess it's okay for me to add this person on Facebook or
• 1:15:27
  add this person on Instagram or LinkedIn or or were whatever,
• 1:15:30
  because there's not like distinction between personal
• 1:15:33
  life and snuggling work life. So okay, interesting question
• 1:15:39
  and do you think that that then by using your original name that
• 1:15:45
  kind of encourages parasocial relationships, maybe?
• 1:15:48
  Oh, Probably just and also there are some professional cuddlers
• 1:15:57
  who are okay with being interviewed on news stations,
• 1:16:02
  I've tried doing that, I don't like it, I prefer the podcast
• 1:16:04
  host, why wasn't? I could I mean here's where I
• 1:16:09
  stroke your ego but it's just podcast host are so much more
• 1:16:13
  open-minded and nice than news journalist because they have
• 1:16:18
  like a boss breathing, down their shoulder and being like,
• 1:16:20
  you need to do this by this date.
• 1:16:22
  And my editor will needs to, you know, edit your piece by this
• 1:16:26
  hour. And it's, there's this
• 1:16:29
  bureaucracy to it. And when you get featured on the
• 1:16:34
  news, you have no idea who Who sees and yes, with podcasts
• 1:16:40
  host, I have no idea who listens but I think a lot of good things
• 1:16:45
  happen from speaking on various product casts.
• 1:16:50
  Like I just cut all the client who said I first heard about you
• 1:16:55
  through your interview on this other podcast and then I
• 1:16:57
  discovered your podcast and now it's like I'm here and wow or
• 1:17:02
  maybe that could happen if I was interviewed on a new station.
• 1:17:05
  But chances are the article is going to have some kind of
• 1:17:08
  clickbait title, and then they'll have I don't know about
• 1:17:13
  stock images but they'll definitely like sign off with
• 1:17:17
  something slimy like, wow. It must be great to be this
• 1:17:20
  person. I know what you mean.
• 1:17:24
  This is the kind of agenda thing.
• 1:17:27
  I mean it's something that I've always tried to completely avoid
• 1:17:31
  like with my show because at the end of the day, a I don't like
• 1:17:36
  this idea of trying to catch people out or like deliberately.
• 1:17:39
  I think when you try to deliberately make other people
• 1:17:42
  look bad, I think that says more about you than it, does that
• 1:17:44
  other person, you know, like if someone has agreed to come on
• 1:17:48
  your show and you just like berate them the whole time.
• 1:17:52
  I just feel like that's just low, I don't know.
• 1:17:55
  I just doesn't sit well with me you know, and the whole point of
• 1:17:58
  my show is supposed to be sharing people's life stories
• 1:18:03
  sharing positive. Stories trying to be positive,
• 1:18:07
  trying to, you know, and like it's not always going to be
• 1:18:10
  Sunshine daisies. You know, we've discussed some
• 1:18:13
  pretty heavy stuff today and there's some stuff in and that's
• 1:18:16
  real life, you know, there is some horrible things we have to
• 1:18:19
  go through, but I think it's really powerful woman like
• 1:18:22
  yourself talking about these things.
• 1:18:24
  And for people that will be listening to this and watching
• 1:18:27
  it, you know, it could mean everything to them.
• 1:18:29
  It could be like, wow, okay, this person seeing this person
• 1:18:32
  talk candidly about this has inspired me Has given me
• 1:18:36
  strength going through this particular experience etc.
• 1:18:39
  Etc. When I see those.
• 1:18:41
  So God yeah. Go for it and something that I
• 1:18:44
  hate that a lot of news websites are doing is that they're paling
• 1:18:49
  the entire thing. I hate to give shout outs to the
• 1:18:52
  new to the new certificates. But the New York Times is guilty
• 1:18:56
  of doing this, and I would hate to not be paid for an interview
• 1:19:01
  with a, you know, a news publication company, that rakes.
• 1:19:05
  In millions every single year. But then they pay wall news,
• 1:19:09
  which should be free. And then like, I don't want to
• 1:19:12
  have to fucking pay to read an interview that I was a part of,
• 1:19:17
  and then tell my audience, hey, go read my interview, but then,
• 1:19:21
  they have to pay to read my fucking op-ed on the New York
• 1:19:25
  Times. And I don't think there are any
• 1:19:28
  podcasts, where every single episode is pay walled.
• 1:19:32
  Yeah, I mean like with with With me like I do this show for free.
• 1:19:37
  The question route, podcast will always be free.
• 1:19:39
  So there you go. But I do a show for patreon.
• 1:19:43
  That is behind a pay wall. And the difference there is
• 1:19:47
  that, you know, the two shows are very different.
• 1:19:51
  So this show is all about my guests and the topics, it's
• 1:19:54
  nothing, even though it's got my name on it, really nothing to do
• 1:19:57
  with me, but then like my show on patreon.
• 1:20:03
  Again, has my name in it, but that is about me.
• 1:20:05
  So, if you want to sit and listen to me talk for, like an
• 1:20:07
  hour or two, that's the show to go to patreon.com/crashcourse.
• 1:20:11
  I read that on my patreon. There you go.
• 1:20:13
  But it's different because when people support you on patreon,
• 1:20:18
  that is money paying for your electricity, bill your, you
• 1:20:23
  know, your internet all of that. Whereas when you give your money
• 1:20:28
  to, you know, the New York Times that is just by I'm the CEO.
• 1:20:33
  Another like yacht to show off to their other wealthy friends.
• 1:20:37
  I think what you said before is spot as well, like you shouldn't
• 1:20:41
  have to pay for the news and secondly it'd be one thing if
• 1:20:45
  you were like an independent newspaper and you were just
• 1:20:48
  trying to keep the thing going. You say like oh hey guys.
• 1:20:51
  Please donate like it helps us keep going like that.
• 1:20:53
  I'd understand. But when it's as you say like
• 1:20:55
  the New York Times, or whatever, or well, the independent here in
• 1:21:00
  the UK and it's like, do you really need that much?
• 1:21:03
  Money. Like can you like can't you do
• 1:21:05
  like a service where it's like the majority of the stuff is
• 1:21:09
  free but some of its paid, I mean, because that's the
• 1:21:11
  mentality, I go forward with what I do like I kind of see
• 1:21:15
  that the stuff on patreon is being like, okay, well that
• 1:21:18
  states free, it's that stays paid and I know it does
• 1:21:21
  disappoint some of my audience but it's that.
• 1:21:23
  Well, 80% of what I do is is free and this 20% is like not
• 1:21:30
  free, that's reasonable if 90% of what you do is paid, what's
• 1:21:36
  the point? Like, how people were going to
• 1:21:38
  that Jen? I mean, that you have to look at
• 1:21:39
  it in more general terms, like your average audience is your
• 1:21:45
  working. People people that are earning
• 1:21:47
  money, and if they decide to subscribe to, that's huge, you
• 1:21:50
  know, that one dollars, five dollars, whatever that could be
• 1:21:54
  like, so much to them. That could be like, you know, a
• 1:21:56
  meal. I know for me that's a lot.
• 1:21:58
  Like, you know, it's I'm always very thankful like, when my
• 1:22:02
  audience is like on, Sorry. This is all I could donate and
• 1:22:04
  like you'd understand how huge this is like not only and for me
• 1:22:08
  it's not about not just about money, it's about like that
• 1:22:11
  support and what it represents, you know, like whenever I get a
• 1:22:15
  nice comment or someone watches a video or they take the time to
• 1:22:19
  sit in a livestream and interact with me, or any kind of support
• 1:22:23
  to me is valuable. And it's all stuff that you
• 1:22:26
  should celebrate and be thankful for, you know, if you're just
• 1:22:28
  asking your audience to just continues to pay for everything,
• 1:22:32
  it's like I do. No man.
• 1:22:33
  I feel like that's very alienating and just kind of
• 1:22:35
  jarring to be honest. You know, that point feels like
• 1:22:39
  a pyramid scheme or and Ida. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:22:43
  Just I mean It's just the amount of times I've wanted to check
• 1:22:49
  out a Creator, but then I found out like all of the stuff that
• 1:22:53
  they're advertising is is paid is generally in.
• 1:22:57
  It's like, I don't know, man. I mean, like my ship, for
• 1:23:00
  example. Again, I'm talking about myself
• 1:23:02
  here, so keep the swing. I did a podcast once a week.
• 1:23:07
  It's free. It's clipped up.
• 1:23:09
  The patreons twice twice a month and it's like I do that by
• 1:23:15
  Design. To kind of leave some time, let
• 1:23:18
  it, you know, build up some stuff.
• 1:23:20
  I work on it. I'd put the same level of effort
• 1:23:23
  that I put in the podcast, same strategy and everything but it's
• 1:23:27
  just, you know, I guess in my mind it's like, are, you know,
• 1:23:30
  you subscribe for this but you get like, not, you're supporting
• 1:23:33
  me. And I'm transparent about that,
• 1:23:34
  but you also get like a kind of something that I've taken time
• 1:23:39
  to work on. It takes time and I think like,
• 1:23:42
  that's a lot fairer. Like, just be transparent with
• 1:23:44
  your audience. Let them know what you're doing.
• 1:23:46
  Being like, you know, and people I think we will respond well to
• 1:23:49
  that, you know, it's when you start trying to like grift and
• 1:23:53
  and I deceive and stuff for like just outright, just take all
• 1:23:57
  their money that it's a bit like, wow, why should I bother?
• 1:24:02
  Yeah. And no shade to other
• 1:24:05
  professional cuddlers but a lot of professional cuddlers, their
• 1:24:09
  social media is just them sharing a bunch of different
• 1:24:12
  articles. Talking about the The medical
• 1:24:18
  benefits to cuddling, like it raises your dopamine levels.
• 1:24:22
  It raises your serotonin levels, your oxytocin, like your
• 1:24:26
  endorphins, all the happy hormones, and that's great and
• 1:24:29
  all. But I don't. don't share
• 1:24:35
  articles from people where you have to pay to read it and I
• 1:24:41
  said, I hope there are some professional cuddlers listening
• 1:24:43
  to this, but if you're going to share an article, please be
• 1:24:49
  decent and make sure that you're not using a source where your
• 1:24:53
  viewers have to pay to just read the article.
• 1:24:56
  Like when I sew on my podcast, I very often I'll include quotes
• 1:25:03
  from articles that I feel are relevant to the episodes topic,
• 1:25:07
  but I never choose news articles where you have to pay to read
• 1:25:11
  like fuck that. You shouldn't have to pay to
• 1:25:14
  read my bibliography. I want people to check my
• 1:25:19
  sources and I can't, you know, halt them by pay Walling.
• 1:25:24
  Yeah, I get it but I agree. I completely agree.
• 1:25:30
  What's the best advice you've ever received?
• 1:25:40
  Oh my gosh, this is so early 2010's Tumblr.
• 1:25:45
  Girl. Hey, don't set yourself on fire
• 1:25:48
  to keep others warm. And I am it, when I was a
• 1:25:54
  teenage girl, I interpreted that as a As a just a specific
• 1:26:03
  situational type of advice. I didn't think of it as cyclical
• 1:26:09
  and so if someone is a chronic people pleaser that's a lot of
• 1:26:13
  my cuddle clients. If someone's a chronic people
• 1:26:16
  pleaser that's a cycle, it like keeps feeding into itself and so
• 1:26:22
  it's hard to break out of a cycle.
• 1:26:25
  You know, one situation, that's one thing, but a cycle.
• 1:26:28
  That's all. That's a whole nother ball game
• 1:26:30
  and people don't stop being people Pleasers overnight and I
• 1:26:37
  wish I could just wave a magic wand over someone's head, and
• 1:26:39
  then they just stopped doing something that's harmful to
• 1:26:42
  them, but life is not that simple.
• 1:26:45
  And so I would say, the best advice I've heard is going set
• 1:26:49
  herself on fire to keep others warm What's the biggest life
• 1:26:54
  lesson you've learned so far? I've listened This is a quote
• 1:27:09
  from a singer that I've been paying attention to since I was
• 1:27:14
  around 14. So 10 years.
• 1:27:16
  Wow this singer got a tattoo which I think has been lasered
• 1:27:21
  off. I highly doubt this person is
• 1:27:24
  doing in but I remember them getting a tattoo saying, do it
• 1:27:30
  for yourself. You are alone and this applies
• 1:27:34
  to so many mediums. Whether you're an author, a
• 1:27:38
  Podcast host, YouTuber, whatever.
• 1:27:41
  When you start out chances, are you have no audience the
• 1:27:44
  audience. You can't wait for people to
• 1:27:46
  subscribe to you and then release something.
• 1:27:49
  You gotta do it for yourself because you are alone.
• 1:27:53
  Like when you're writing down song lyrics, or when you're
• 1:27:56
  writing down, poetry, you are literally alone.
• 1:27:58
  You're not Staying in front of an audience already, unless you
• 1:28:03
  do like, improv comedy, or whatever, but I guess that's not
• 1:28:06
  applicable. Like, last night, I was speaking
• 1:28:10
  at this one Festival. It's a 10-day Festival, ordeal.
• 1:28:14
  I'm speaking to nights and I read erotica that I've written
• 1:28:20
  and I wrote that erotica a year ago.
• 1:28:26
  I never would have guessed that I would be reading it in front
• 1:28:29
  of a live audience for a festival that is annual and
• 1:28:34
  started around the time that I was born.
• 1:28:38
  Well Matt yeah. Well, congratulations man.
• 1:28:43
  Thank you. It's amazing.
• 1:28:46
  As we do things to a close today.
• 1:28:48
  Do you have any upcoming projects or some final thoughts
• 1:28:50
  that you'd like to share about this?
• 1:28:52
  Okay. So, Another thing that my color
• 1:28:59
  clients really like about me is how passionate I am about
• 1:29:02
  dancing. And so July 29th of 2023, I am
• 1:29:09
  going to be performing at this one fundraiser and I try to
• 1:29:11
  perform at least one fundraiser per month, but I've always done
• 1:29:18
  gigs in the Bay Area in San Francisco, you know, Northern
• 1:29:22
  California. But this is my first gig in
• 1:29:25
  Seattle, Washington. Washington, which is the Pacific
• 1:29:28
  Northwest part of North America and I'm going to be performing
• 1:29:33
  at this one. A fundraiser for a charity.
• 1:29:37
  That's local to Seattle but you know, it's for a good cause and
• 1:29:41
  I can afford the plane ticket so I can afford the hotel.
• 1:29:44
  So Saturday, July 29, 2023. I'm going to be dancing at this
• 1:29:51
  one. Fundraiser and it's, you know,
• 1:29:54
  it's in the downtown part of Seattle.
• 1:29:56
  So not exactly like Pike Place. The Space Needle but like,
• 1:30:01
  decently close. And I am in the middle of
• 1:30:06
  writing a book about professional cuddling because I
• 1:30:09
  care about my work out, living me.
• 1:30:15
  I I don't want to be on this planet.
• 1:30:17
  Just to survive. I want to create art and hope
• 1:30:21
  that people still pay attention to my art after I pass.
• 1:30:24
  And so, I'm writing a book and I would love to have beta readers
• 1:30:31
  and honestly the less, you know, about the cuddle industry the
• 1:30:34
  better because I want this book to be understandable by anyone
• 1:30:39
  and you can reach me at Felicity Azariah at gmail.com.
• 1:30:47
  I am also going to be speaking at this one convention in
• 1:30:51
  Baltimore, which is near Washington DC, which is the
• 1:30:54
  capital of the United States. So I'm going to be in Baltimore
• 1:30:58
  from June 15 to June 18. I am dancing at and also
• 1:31:05
  speaking at a panel at International, poll convention,
• 1:31:10
  and I would love it. If people attend, the sex worker
• 1:31:15
  panel, I don't know who the other panelists are yet, but
• 1:31:20
  we're going to be speaking about sex work for approximately an
• 1:31:25
  hour. And it's also my first speaking
• 1:31:28
  gig in Baltimore, Maryland. So that's exciting.
• 1:31:33
  And if you are a professional cuddler in the Baltimore area, I
• 1:31:38
  would love to be out with you while I'm in Baltimore, if you
• 1:31:41
  are Professional cuddler in Seattle.
• 1:31:45
  I would love to meet up with you while I'm in Seattle, even
• 1:31:47
  though I'm only there for like 20 hours, I think that's all.
• 1:31:54
  I need a plug. Also listen to my podcast.
• 1:31:58
  Yeah, I second that go check out from the city's puff course.
• 1:32:02
  It's been an amazing amazing show.
• 1:32:04
  I was want to say a massive, thank you for being on the show
• 1:32:06
  and being so candid. And yeah, I wish you all the
• 1:32:09
  best of luck. Thank you, Christian.
• 1:32:13
  And to the listeners of Christian re podcast as always
• 1:32:16
  be safe. Be well, and I'll see you in the
• 1:32:18
  next one.