Latest / I Do, Part 2 / We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with Brittany Cartwright

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We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with Brittany Cartwright · I Do, Part 2

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Hey, there are folks, and welcome to I Do Part two.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: And if you got in love right the first time around,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: this podcast ain't for you. I am one of your
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: whole state at home sitting next to Amy row Botan.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Between the two of us, we have four divorces, so
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: no judgment here.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Welcome everybody to the podcast, and really, I think robes.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: We have talked to a lot of people on I
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Do Part two, a lot of people who are going
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: to an second marriage or maybe even third, or trying
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: to get out there and date again. This is going
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: to be the first time we've talked to somebody who's
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: actually going through it while we're talking to them.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: And not just going through a divorce, which is hard
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: enough privately, but going through a divorce publicly is a
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: whole other thing.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: And well we know a little bit about that as well.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: So I was actually just telling our next guest that
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: she is in a very safe space because.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: What we're gonna see.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: While everyone's experience is unique and specific to them, there
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: are some shared experiences. When you go through something this
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: traumatic with children, with the public watching there, that is
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: something that I would not wish on anyone.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: And uh, it's.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: Certainly a rocky road to travel, but I will say
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: when you get to the other side, you learn so
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: much about yourself. You learn what you want, you learn
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: what you don't want, and that is that's winning. Actually,
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: to know where you stand, not only internally, but just
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: what is next in life.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: That's awesome.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: And with that, folks, you are now listening to a
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: boy from Arkansas and a girl from Georgia introducing another
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: girl from Kentucky.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: And with that we want to welcome Star much talked
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: about sensation Britney.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Cart Right, you know her fro vandr pump Rules. You
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: know are now with the second season of The Valley
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: coming up. How are you doing?
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: So?
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: Hi, thanks for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Look at that one.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: I love and I love you, you said a girl
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: from Kentucky because you can hear it right away and immediately.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: We are also Southerners, so I love it. We love
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: hearing a Southern drawl.
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: And I love y'all's love. It's so cute, it's so obvious.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, funny the way life takes you where it
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: takes you. That the Kentucky, Arkansas, Georgia are sitting in
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: a hotel in Los Angeles, in Hollywood.
• 2:27
  Speaker 6: Right, don't y'all hate that Kentucky basketball is just so
• 2:29
  Speaker 6: much better.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: I'd prefer to start talking about football.
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: Okay, football football, That seems.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: We didn't come to talk about. Can't we ask?
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: There's a lot to get to with you, but we
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: want to start with something that. Look, Robock and I
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: both have gone through recently divorces in a very public way.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: The first thing we were concerned about was our kids.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: The first thing we want to make sure they're okay.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: People saying all kinds of shit about us in public.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Our priority was that. So can I start with that
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: with you as a mom? All that's going on the show, whatever,
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: social media, this and that and the back and forth.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: How is Cruise here? A three year old who's about
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: to be four, and just tell us how he's doing
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: through what has been upheaval in his life.
• 3:16
  Speaker 6: He is absolutely amazing. He is thriving. I feel like
• 3:21
  Speaker 6: he wants to see his mom happy, and I think
• 3:24
  Speaker 6: that like actually affects him more to see a happy
• 3:27
  Speaker 6: mom and a happy household and everything than having you know,
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: negativity around twenty four to seven.
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: He's amazing.
• 3:35
  Speaker 6: He's only three, so you know, luckily he doesn't really
• 3:40
  Speaker 6: get everything that's going on at this moment, but I
• 3:43
  Speaker 6: just feel like he's so much happier.
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: I honestly do, I really do.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: That's real and I think that is real because kids,
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: no matter how young they are, Yeah, they sense energy,
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: They know what the energy is in the house. They
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: know and yes, having parents who are happy, even if
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: that means they're apart, is better than having that negativity
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: in the house.
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: Actually, I really believe that.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: You know, my therapist, when I was struggling with what
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: to do, said to me, with my daughters, is this
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: the marriage you would want for them? If it's not,
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: then what are you showing them? So I just wanted
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: to give that to you as well. I know we
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: all have mom guilt, dad guilt. You know you're putting
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: your kids first, and yet you're also trying to navigate
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: your own life. So I think that's brave and admirable.
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: Thank you doing.
• 4:24
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean it was definitely hard, but also cruises
• 4:28
  Speaker 6: my driving force to like be happier and to be
• 4:31
  Speaker 6: a better person and to be like in this space
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: where I feel comfortable and I can like be the
• 4:37
  Speaker 6: better mom for him. Because I feel like I just
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: had so much stress and pressure every day in my life,
• 4:43
  Speaker 6: Like the energy was just so bad and so off
• 4:46
  Speaker 6: in our house. So I just felt like I had
• 4:49
  Speaker 6: to get out and I had to do it for
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: my son. If I didn't have him, I would probably
• 4:54
  Speaker 6: stay with Jacks for the rest of my life.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Really really, I mean we're used to hearing the opposite
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: people want to stay together or the kid no.
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: Wow, Like I feel like I loved Jack so much
• 5:06
  Speaker 6: and I really was into this life, into this marriage
• 5:09
  Speaker 6: with him. I thought he was gonna be my forever person.
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: And having crews and seeing how I was treated in
• 5:16
  Speaker 6: front of my son really opened my eyes. And I
• 5:20
  Speaker 6: think for a lot of women like you just are
• 5:22
  Speaker 6: so blinded by love that you don't really like realize.
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: Everything that you're going through.
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: Like I held everything in for so long, so long,
• 5:32
  Speaker 6: and I just think that he just like really like
• 5:35
  Speaker 6: opened me up and was just like, Okay, this is
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: not okay. I need to do this for my son.
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: I need to be happy for my son.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: I'm curious, because cameras were rolling, was there something what
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: was the epiphany for you? Was it off camera? Was
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: it on camera where you said, I have to get out.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: This is not healthy for me or for my child.
• 5:57
  Speaker 6: There was a lot of things off camera that I
• 6:00
  Speaker 6: can speak on because now we've had all these podcasts
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: come about Alice back and like everything like it's been
• 6:05
  Speaker 6: all over the place. But there was a lot of
• 6:08
  Speaker 6: things that were happening before I ever moved out, Like
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: he admitted that he had a cocaine.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Addiction, and you knew about that the whole time.
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: I knew about it, but it was like he would
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: never admit that it was a problem. He always acted
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: like this was normal, this was this, this was that,
• 6:27
  Speaker 6: but I knew it was So after I had my child,
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: obviously things changed and I started noticing more.
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: And more and more and more and more.
• 6:36
  Speaker 6: And once we separated because I had to leave him
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: after a bad night that was like a come down
• 6:42
  Speaker 6: after like a party night.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: What was a bad night?
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: What did that look like?
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: Just the next.
• 6:47
  Speaker 6: Morning was so bad, just like coming into the room
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: yelling and doing this and doing that and just just
• 6:53
  Speaker 6: made me feel like a like I lost all my confidence,
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: I lost almost sparkle in that relationship. And after ten
• 7:00
  Speaker 6: years I finally started to notice that, you know, it
• 7:03
  Speaker 6: took me a while, but I just felt like I
• 7:08
  Speaker 6: couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't do it anymore. So
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: I was like, either you leave or ally, and he
• 7:14
  Speaker 6: wouldn't leave, so I had to leave.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: As we sit here, you're a full year plus from
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: when you filed four to four or no separate. You
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: can separated at least a year in the past year.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: How close have you been, if at all, to getting
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: back together.
• 7:32
  Speaker 6: I've had I'm not gonna lie, I've had like a
• 7:34
  Speaker 6: couple of times where I was like lonely and was like, WHOA,
• 7:37
  Speaker 6: what might happen? But we never got back together and
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: we will never ever get back together. I just few,
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: like after a year with somebody for ten years, sometimes
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: there's gonna be times where you feel weak, you know,
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: and you miss them and you feel lonely.
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: And that's happened to me a lot.
• 7:52
  Speaker 6: But I know I'm worth so much more and I
• 7:56
  Speaker 6: know that, like, I can do so much better than
• 7:58
  Speaker 6: what he put me through. And that's a confidence that
• 8:02
  Speaker 6: I never had before.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: So yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, has he tried to get you.
• 8:08
  Speaker 6: Back sometimes but not always, Like I feel like he's
• 8:12
  Speaker 6: done the bare minimum. So like it's like, uh, what
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: am I supposed to do?
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: You know, you left, right, so is he? He's still
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: in the house.
• 8:20
  Speaker 6: So I moved into rental homes for about seven months,
• 8:27
  Speaker 6: and then he finally got a condo after a long time.
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: And this was after his rehab, say and everything. So
• 8:35
  Speaker 6: it was just kind of like, you know, I begged him,
• 8:38
  Speaker 6: and like I even said, I will pay for the
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: rental house and you can live there and I can
• 8:43
  Speaker 6: stay at the house with our son. He still won't
• 8:45
  Speaker 6: do that. So but now I can probably say, yes,
• 8:48
  Speaker 6: I have my house. It's one hundred percent of mine.
• 8:51
  Speaker 6: He's moved out. I am taken over everything, and like
• 8:56
  Speaker 6: I feel like that's like so empowering for me. Like
• 8:58
  Speaker 6: I'm so proud of myself else that I have that,
• 9:01
  Speaker 6: and me and Cruise are back in our house where
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: we started, where he was born, where he grew up.
• 9:05
  Speaker 6: You know, I was gone for seven months, but I'm
• 9:08
  Speaker 6: back on my own.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 9:11
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Does he need I don't know Jack's at all, nothing
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: from other than what I've seen on the show. Yeah, right,
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Does do you feel like he needs? What if he
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: got right? Because we always say there's no way I
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: can be good for somebody else if I'm not good
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: myself first, but talk about his mental health? Is you
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: talk about his substance abuse issues? If he got right?
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, does he need to get right before you
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: could possibly consider taking him back or a reconciliation or
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: a reconciliation off the table. I won't ask another follow
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: up about it.
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: That's hard because I don't think that.
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: I think he's hurt me so much between this, especially
• 9:59
  Speaker 6: after our separ it has been.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Bad, and you were finding like women's thongs.
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: Yes, and dms, like I'm getting sent dms from women
• 10:10
  Speaker 6: where I have to read their text threads and like,
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: could you imagine Let's like I don't want to read that.
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: So now, like there's no way that we could ever
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: be back together, Not that I even wanted that, but like,
• 10:21
  Speaker 6: how could I ever be back with that after reading
• 10:25
  Speaker 6: all these things and knowing everything he said and done,
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: And I just would feel so dumb if I ever
• 10:33
  Speaker 6: went back with him, honestly, And I feel like I've
• 10:36
  Speaker 6: gained so much more strength and I'm getting into such
• 10:39
  Speaker 6: a better headspace and so much like happier and so
• 10:42
  Speaker 6: much more confidence since I've left him, Like so if
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: I went back into that.
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: I just feel like my.
• 10:50
  Speaker 6: Piece would be all messed up again, you know, like
• 10:53
  Speaker 6: it just doesn't it doesn't.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: Fit you have you do have a sparkle. Thank you
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: about you and you are like.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: I can tell the shine and the sparkle are coming
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: from you, not because someone not from an external source.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: Isn't that what it's all about too, of finding yourself
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: and then building back.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: So from that perspective, I.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Don't know, are you how do you get to a
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: place where you can trust who you choose?
• 11:16
  Speaker 8: Again?
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Because I had mentioned you, hey, find your best friend,
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: just saying that we've been through a few issues ourselves
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: and when I finally found my best friend.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: That when through a few issues.
• 11:30
  Speaker 7: Being a stroke.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: But but you said to me, and this was interesting,
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: you said, I thought I had yes, So how do
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: you trust? How do you trust the next relationship? How
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: do you trust the next friendship that builds into something more?
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Where how do you reconcile that? I think it's gonna
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: be hard because I definitely have my guard up. I
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: definitely thought Jackson was my best friend. I said that
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: for years, ten years, he's my best friend.
• 11:58
  Speaker 6: Anytime people were me or say like what are you
• 12:02
  Speaker 6: doing or why would you go do this?
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: Or forgive him for this?
• 12:05
  Speaker 6: And I'm like, he's my best friend. He makes me happy,
• 12:07
  Speaker 6: he is my everyday person. So it is very hard
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: to lose that. But I feel like the red flags,
• 12:15
  Speaker 6: I like will notice them all, you know, like there
• 12:18
  Speaker 6: is a new you know, a new a new thing
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: that I'm looking for in a man, you know, And
• 12:25
  Speaker 6: I'm not like ready to date again yet.
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: It's gonna take me a little bit. I'm wanna have.
• 12:29
  Speaker 6: Fun right now, and I am I want to have
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: fun and I am, but I think.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Uh, you mean, what do you mean?
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I want to have fun? And I am, what does
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: that mean?
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: Just like hanging out with hot guys?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: You know, you have not struggled the whole time. This
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: is the first time you paused, just you know, hanging out.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: This is the first time she tripped over a word, bro.
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, just just hanging out.
• 13:00
  Speaker 9: But but yeah, I think the red flags are up,
• 13:04
  Speaker 9: Like you notice so much more after you've been in
• 13:06
  Speaker 9: a relationship like that, like especially with a narcissist, Like
• 13:09
  Speaker 9: I will never be able to be with a narcissist ever.
• 13:12
  Speaker 6: Again, I don't think any woman ever should. But you know,
• 13:15
  Speaker 6: there's just different things that have happened along the way,
• 13:18
  Speaker 6: and I've learned so much, I've gotten so much stronger.
• 13:22
  Speaker 6: So I just see so many different things.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: I don't know what you were like before. You know,
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: we didn't get a chance to meet you. Yeah, while
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: you were married, while you were going through whatever you're
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: going through. Didn't know, but you have walked it. You
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: just have a light to you. I don't know what
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: it was before. And it's an interesting thing with Bro
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: that you're the only example I have. But folks in
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: your life, once you start getting divorced, so you get
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: out of a relationship, all of a sudden, they come
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: out and say, wow, it's good to have you back. Yeah,
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: what have you or maybe your friends are family noticing
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: anything about you any different? Are they relieved even that
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: you are now out of that relationship.
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I think a lot of my friends, my family especially,
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: they're happy for me. You know.
• 14:02
  Speaker 6: They want me to succeed, They want me to be happy.
• 14:05
  Speaker 6: They want me to be the best mom I could
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: be and live in the you know, like just a
• 14:10
  Speaker 6: happier space because it's been hard. Not gonna lie, it's
• 14:14
  Speaker 6: been a lot. But I think I've you know, I'm
• 14:17
  Speaker 6: gradually getting better day by.
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: Day because it's still hard. I'm not gonna lie.
• 14:23
  Speaker 6: I got my sparkle back, for sure, but this is
• 14:26
  Speaker 6: not even as sparkly as I could be.
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: I feel like I got a little blace.
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: To go, you know, but that you're on the right path. Yes,
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: you know you were on the right path.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Now you are.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: DJ was referring to my mom, saying, I feel like
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: I have my Amy back.
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: Oh, I feel like I.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: Have my daughter back from high school, that exuberance, happy,
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: anything's possible, Amy. And it was weird to hear that
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: from a I don't know if your mom can ever
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: be objective, but from somebody who always has your best
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: interest at heart.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: Seeing something like that was really pactful.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: And I didn't even realize that that was the change
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: in me. Have people in your life noticed a change
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: in you? And do you see WHOA was? I a
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: show of who I was. You don't even realize it's
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: happening while it's happening.
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, Jane is one of my best friends.
• 15:17
  Speaker 6: She's over there shaking her head.
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: Like, yes, yeah, I feel like yeah, I just God,
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: when I read that energy is in your house every
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: single day.
• 15:28
  Speaker 6: It like really brings you down. And I think that
• 15:31
  Speaker 6: my friends and family have really noticed, like, Okay, she
• 15:35
  Speaker 6: you know, she's feeling so much better, She's doing so
• 15:38
  Speaker 6: much better.
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: No, jan Yeah, okay, Janet. Jane's in the room and
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: she can say the answer. But I'm gonna be honest.
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: It's not easy for me to.
• 15:52
  Speaker 9: Talk about myself like that.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Jenna, can you speak to what she's saying? What?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: What did you notice in your friend once? I guess
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: she decided the really was over, I guess. And from
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: a year ago to now, what have you noticed?
• 16:07
  Speaker 5: Definitely?
• 16:07
  Speaker 8: I will say the biggest difference is a lot of
• 16:10
  Speaker 8: our conversations went from consoling her and trying to cheer
• 16:13
  Speaker 8: her up to laughing with her and making plans to
• 16:16
  Speaker 8: have fun. Mm hmm that's I mean. It really went
• 16:19
  Speaker 8: from like, hey, everything's going to be okay to like,
• 16:21
  Speaker 8: everything is okay. Yeah, And I see her being absolutely
• 16:25
  Speaker 8: her best best self now and I'm so proud of you.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Do you feel like you're I know this sounds maybe
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: a little cheesy, but when you're trying to please someone
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: or you're trying to keep something working, that isn't you
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: end up not even feeling comfortable being yourself or saying
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: what you really think or what you really feel, but
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: just trying to keep the peace at all costs. Are
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: you now able to be like yourself? Were you ever
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: feeling like you couldn't.
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: Be oh, one hundred percent?
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: Like I felt like I was never allowed to vent
• 16:59
  Speaker 6: to my friends or talk about what was going on
• 17:01
  Speaker 6: in my relationship, even though we're on a public platform,
• 17:04
  Speaker 6: even just like one on one like dinners with my girls,
• 17:07
  Speaker 6: Like it was always, you know, a negative thing. Once
• 17:10
  Speaker 6: I went out with my friends, it was like what
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: are you talking about?
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: What are you doing? Are you are you doing this?
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: Are you talking about this? It was, it was, it
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: was bad.
• 17:18
  Speaker 6: So I feel like I've had such a relief and
• 17:21
  Speaker 6: a like a lift off my shoulders, like especially once
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: the divorce was filed and then like once he finally
• 17:28
  Speaker 6: announced his addiction issues, because then I could finally be
• 17:31
  Speaker 6: like like this, this is what I had to deal
• 17:35
  Speaker 6: with every day. And I hid a lot because he
• 17:39
  Speaker 6: was my husband and I did love him, but it
• 17:41
  Speaker 6: was it was a lot for me to go through.
• 17:43
  Speaker 6: And you know, I tried, I tried my best, but
• 17:46
  Speaker 6: I feel like I'm proud of myself for for how
• 17:50
  Speaker 6: far I've come.
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: Honestly, Yeah, you.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: Said you did love him. Do you still love him?
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: I love him in a weird way. Okay, can't stand him.
• 18:03
  Speaker 6: I cannot stand him. I love him as the father
• 18:07
  Speaker 6: of my child who co parenting is super hard with
• 18:09
  Speaker 6: somebody that you can't stand.
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: So, I mean, I don't know how better to explain
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: it than that, Like it's like, I think it's relatable.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Yeahs in some of the articles I read, you really
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: you can't stand him.
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: No, I did not love Like I'm not in love
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: with him anymore.
• 18:26
  Speaker 6: I think that I'm like grieving the life I thought
• 18:29
  Speaker 6: we were going to have together. And it's still hard
• 18:32
  Speaker 6: because we were together for ten years, so it's hard.
• 18:34
  Speaker 8: You know, you're no longer putting the fires out too.
• 18:37
  Speaker 8: I think I think I see with Jack's he was
• 18:40
  Speaker 8: kind of always burning bridges with her friends, with people
• 18:42
  Speaker 8: in our friend group, and Brittany was always going behind
• 18:45
  Speaker 8: him and fixing everything and making it all right with everybody.
• 18:48
  Speaker 8: And it's like one less job you have to do
• 18:50
  Speaker 8: now and you can really concentrate on being yourself and
• 18:52
  Speaker 8: the best mom. And I'm seeing the full best version
• 18:55
  Speaker 8: of you, and it's like the most wonderful thing to see, truly.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you, is that the version with did your relationship
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: have a better chance if cameras were not in your face?
• 19:05
  Speaker 6: So Jackson and I started off basically on camera, I
• 19:08
  Speaker 6: mean not the day we met, but as soon as
• 19:11
  Speaker 6: I moved to LA, I was on a TV show
• 19:15
  Speaker 6: and that was crazy. That was a whole experience within itself.
• 19:19
  Speaker 6: But everybody kept saying, you are. You were making Check
• 19:22
  Speaker 6: so much better. You're the best thing that's ever happened
• 19:25
  Speaker 6: to him. You're you know, and I really thought that
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: too for a very long time. We were together for
• 19:30
  Speaker 6: ten years. It wasn't all terrible, you know, obviously, but yeah,
• 19:37
  Speaker 6: it's been I feel like our whole relationship was on camera,
• 19:40
  Speaker 6: and then it wasn't after vander Pump Rules, and that
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: was a really hard time in our life as well,
• 19:47
  Speaker 6: and then we started the Valley and I thought everything
• 19:51
  Speaker 6: was going to be better and he was going to
• 19:54
  Speaker 6: get like more of his confidence, even back at that point.
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: But I feel like he turned it around and you
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: it against me?
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: Wow?
• 20:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah, do you right?
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Do you ever?
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Do you ever look back or even as you're thinking
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: forward and think maybe the TV has hurt versus helped,
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: or do.
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: You think it's the opposite.
• 20:17
  Speaker 6: I think for my growth as a woman, especially this
• 20:22
  Speaker 6: last season, having the cameras there held me accountable in
• 20:27
  Speaker 6: ways that I don't know if I would be strong
• 20:29
  Speaker 6: enough to do on my own.
• 20:31
  Speaker 5: And I yeah, I mean.
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: It's like it holds a mirror up to yourself. So
• 20:35
  Speaker 6: it's like, oh my gosh, everybody's saying how horrible I
• 20:40
  Speaker 6: was treated, and they're gonna watch it all season two,
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: how horrible I was treated? Like it like really holds
• 20:47
  Speaker 6: up like a mirror to yourself, and like, you know,
• 20:51
  Speaker 6: I fell for divorce and I did that, you know,
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: And I feel so much better now and I'm never
• 20:56
  Speaker 6: going back, never going back ever.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Say yeah, they say never say never.
• 21:03
  Speaker 7: Exception.
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: I was going to say, I think you and I
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: can say no sometimes.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: Actually I think I've lived enough life to absolutely say never.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: Did you get from friends? I'm sitting next to one
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: of your thoughts, But how do you support a friend
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: through that?
• 21:29
  Speaker 7: Right?
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: You don't want to just say hey, you got to
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: get out. You want to support again. I didn't watch
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: enough or seen enough to know if you were giving
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: that advice. But what does a friend do. Were they
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: telling you to get out or they were sitting there
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: holding your hand while you cry.
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: No, a lot of my friends were like, you need
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: to get a lawyer, you need to protect yourself. You
• 21:48
  Speaker 6: need because he's not a normal person. Like that was like,
• 21:52
  Speaker 6: you need to protect yourself normal.
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm sorry. I mean I'm not telling a lot.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Like what is the data day with you all? Now,
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: what's the relationship you have? Of course you got a
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: co parent, so yeah.
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: It's back and forth. It's back and forth.
• 22:07
  Speaker 6: It's we don't talk for a while, we talked for
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: a little bit, we don't talk for it.
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: It's a lot.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: But how does that go with cruise your son?
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: You have a great mom. Wait, he says he's a
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: great dad, but it was a bad husband that was
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: in the clip.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Is that accurate?
• 22:21
  Speaker 6: I think that if you're a great dad, you don't
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: harass and talk horribly to the mother.
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: Of a child.
• 22:30
  Speaker 6: So you know, I'm not saying that he is a
• 22:33
  Speaker 6: horrible dad, but I'm not saying that he is. I'm
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: ninety five percent, he's five percent. Let's just say.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: That that's an imbalance.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's the visitation or that's the custody situation.
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: That's just our life, like it's it's every day.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: We're still working on everything through the divorce, so custody
• 22:55
  Speaker 6: is not like in order.
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: Yet, so I'm still doing everything.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we know how that process can get drawn.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: Do you have a timeline about when your divorce will
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: be finalized? It's a great day when that does happen,
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: when you're going through it.
• 23:14
  Speaker 6: I don't have a I don't have a time on
• 23:16
  Speaker 6: just yet, but it is moving forward, for sure. It
• 23:19
  Speaker 6: is moving forward, and I'm like, please come on, like
• 23:22
  Speaker 6: I'm ready.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Sorry to say, but from our experience, this will not
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: be quick. Sorry to have to tell you.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: And I know you're obviously getting through that first and
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: foremost and not doing anything serious in terms of dating.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: But I know at one point on the show you
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: mentioned that you definitely wanted to have more kids. Is
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: that factoring into your timeline about how you're living your
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: life and how intentional you're being in terms of maybe.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: Trying to find that next person.
• 23:52
  Speaker 6: I think that I thought that Jackson and I were
• 23:55
  Speaker 6: aligned on that, like we were. We had said both
• 23:58
  Speaker 6: of us that we were going to have another child,
• 24:00
  Speaker 6: and that was my husband, Like I thought that was
• 24:03
  Speaker 6: going to happen, and now we're going through divorce and
• 24:06
  Speaker 6: everything else.
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: It's like, listen, I.
• 24:08
  Speaker 6: Love kids so much. Of course I would love for
• 24:11
  Speaker 6: Cruise to have a brother or sister, But if that's
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: not my future anymore, it's not my future anymore. I'm
• 24:16
  Speaker 6: not like pressuring that.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I'm not.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: I just want to be happy, you know, and Cruise
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: makes me happy.
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: And if I ever find somebody else that like makes
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: me happy, great, if we fall in love and want
• 24:28
  Speaker 6: to have kids, great, I've got time, a little bit
• 24:31
  Speaker 6: of time. You have too much, but a little bit,
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: so it's not out of the picture. But it's not
• 24:36
  Speaker 6: something that I'm like, yes, I have to do that
• 24:39
  Speaker 6: for my future.
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 24:41
  Speaker 6: I'm very satisfied, and I love my son, so I
• 24:44
  Speaker 6: feel very lucky that I have him, you know, Yes,
• 24:47
  Speaker 6: we do.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And am I the one that has to asked
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: this question about this whole mess? How about you hooking
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: up with somebody in the friend group? Okay, because there's
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: a difference of opinion on you two side, whether or
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: not you all said that was against the rules or not.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: So have you all settled this. So was it against
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: the rules for you to hook up with someone who
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: was a friend of his, essentially in your friend group?
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: Okay, So I will tell you that he still brings
• 25:13
  Speaker 6: him up to me almost every single day, like he
• 25:16
  Speaker 6: can knock it over it.
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: I have not talked to that.
• 25:19
  Speaker 6: Man for months and months and months, but no, like, no,
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: what our rules were, and I said this on the
• 25:27
  Speaker 6: show and on the podcast was.
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: Don't bring girls into our marital home and don't have
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: anybody around cruise.
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, And how has he done with those rules?
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: Uh? Well, as far as I know, nobody's been around
• 25:42
  Speaker 6: my son. Okay, but I found many women in my house.
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: Before I took it over.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: I mentioned the thong.
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah, the song, the song, and I get dms all
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: the time, so it's just like, oh, I have to
• 25:54
  Speaker 6: read it. I had somebody sent me a screenshot of
• 25:57
  Speaker 6: them in my bed with my photo behind them.
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, yes, because they don't they don't pay, They.
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: Just want like I don't know what they wanted, but
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: I don't know what they attention. Yeah or wow, but
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: senier to me and like how heartbreaking for me?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: That was?
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: Like it was awful.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Wait to rub it in or say I'm sorry, I
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: had no idea. I mean, it was or to It's.
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: Been a lot of different things.
• 26:21
  Speaker 6: It's been oh he he loved bombs and then throws
• 26:24
  Speaker 6: them away, and then they come to me and I'm like.
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: Am I supposed to be a therapist now?
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Like what the hell?
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: What the hell they I'm going to do?
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: I hate to say his castaways, but that's kind of
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: what you're saying, coming to you, like to seek solace
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: or to like say I understand.
• 26:40
  Speaker 6: I mean yeah, yeah, I mean they're being like I
• 26:43
  Speaker 6: don't know what else to do.
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: He you know, it's just it's just crazy.
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: Well yeah, all right.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: I want to ask you this, after everything you've been through,
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: do you still believe in love and would you like
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: to get married again someday?
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: I always believe in love.
• 26:58
  Speaker 6: I think that, like, you know, I was the girl
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: that was like, oh I'm going to get married in
• 27:03
  Speaker 6: the castle and this and that.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: You know that was like, how yes, I love all
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: of that. Do I think I will ever get married again?
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: I don't know. I would.
• 27:15
  Speaker 6: I would have, you know, all the things set up before. Yes, yeah,
• 27:24
  Speaker 6: I mean I just like after going through this divorce
• 27:28
  Speaker 6: with Jackson, it's like, my goodness.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: So you know, I hate that because I never wanted that. Before.
• 27:34
  Speaker 6: I was like, no, you don't need a prenup. You're
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: in love, you don't need any of that. And now
• 27:38
  Speaker 6: I'm like, hell, yeah, you need that, Like are you
• 27:41
  Speaker 6: kidding me? Like this is like crazy, Like you need
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: to protect yourself because if they get mad, they come
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: after everything, and it's ridiculous.
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: But I never felt that way before.
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: But I still believe in love and I still want
• 27:56
  Speaker 6: to be in love, and I'm a relationship person like
• 27:59
  Speaker 6: I'm not. But yeah, you know, I would rather be
• 28:02
  Speaker 6: in a relationship than be like single and lonely and
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: doing you know this and that.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: So we're going to go party tonight. We're going to
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: introduce you to some people tonight.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Please no, I don't want that.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: You can see Brittany all the crew on the new
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: season of The Valley April fifteenth on Bravo. We want
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: you to know if you're navigating the next chapter of
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: your life or divorce, need some guidance when it comes
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: to day think again. We are here to help as
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: much as we can. You can call email us, follow
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: us on our socials. All the information will be on
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: the show notes. Make sure to rate and review the podcast.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: It's I Do Part two. iHeart Radio podcast. We're falling
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: in love. It's the main objective.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Let me say thank you. You didn't plan thank.
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: You, thanks, thank you.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: Brittany.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Do you look we need a lot of people and
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: when they walk out, we look at each other and go,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: what I expect? You are just a treat And you
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: know the energy from Kentucky, we feel it and we absolutely.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: We might even root for Kentucky.
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: Yes as cats cats yet.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Because Arkansas and Georgia, we're really on the low end
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: of things right now going into all of our teams.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: Made into the Yeah. But Brenda, it is an absolute
• 29:24
  Speaker 5: Thank you so much