Latest / Draft Offsides Podcast / Before & After Ep 84 I Waking up Early for FPL Line-Up Changes

Transcript

Before & After Ep 84 I Waking up Early for FPL Line-Up Changes · Draft Offsides Podcast

• 0:00
  Yeah, I only, I only hear the story.
• 0:02
  And what's the story with your cat?
• 0:03
  So when I visited El Salvador last year, I went to my in laws
• 0:07
  local like where they lived and this is the local team fast.
• 0:12
  This is the Jersey. You know how Jersey usually cost
• 0:15
  like 110? This thing only cost 50 bucks
• 0:18
  and it's official and it's Umbro too so I love it.
• 0:21
  It's pronounced Umbro. I always called it Umbro.
• 0:24
  It's Umbro. It's.
• 0:25
  Umbro, you don't pronounce things well anyway, you're
• 0:29
  calling Liverimeno Valentino last episode, you know.
• 0:33
  What's his first name? Enzo.
• 0:34
  Oh. Tito's out a certain year of
• 0:38
  Brazil jersey. It's just it looks like a
• 0:40
  classic. This might be my favorite or the
• 0:43
  best jersey ever, but it also comes with a lot of bad
• 0:45
  memories. This is the 1998 jersey.
• 0:50
  That's not that. That was, wasn't it, 98?
• 0:53
  No, that was. 2006 This is 30 Ronaldo got injured.
• 0:58
  That's next jersey. It's on down, Nike.
• 1:02
  I like this Adidas here. Actually, I think it's kind of
• 1:04
  cool. I need got.
• 1:06
  Three different brands not. Really.
• 1:08
  I need Nike on Zoom, bro. We need, I need to find the 1994
• 1:14
  Brazil World Cup jersey, but the blue one away.
• 1:17
  That's the one I really want. Why?
• 1:18
  Have you been on the? Have you looked at all like the
• 1:20
  sites? I'm sure there's some out there.
• 1:22
  There's a lot that are like, yeah.
• 1:25
  Have you guys ever thought about doing that mystery shirt boxing
• 1:28
  or know anyone has done it? I don't know.
• 1:30
  I just feel like it's gonna be, it's like it's always like the
• 1:32
  ads or like you get like really cool shirts, but I feel like
• 1:34
  gonna do it. You're gonna be like.
• 1:36
  Yeah, get like a Norwich shirt you're.
• 1:38
  Gonna get like Brett, yeah. It's going to be like, was it?
• 1:40
  You keep that guy like a player. On FIFA, you thought it was
• 1:44
  Chelsea, you thought it might be called partner, but it was like
• 1:46
  on the woman. 'S I was an Arsenal like right
• 1:48
  winger that was like a 98 and I was like Kyle Osaka, so excited
• 1:52
  and it was someone else that was a woman's player.
• 1:55
  He need fucking smash control of sure.
• 1:58
  How much are those mystery shirt boxes?
• 2:00
  I think they range from different prices because they do
• 2:02
  offer. They don't just do football.
• 2:04
  But like, yeah, I was not saying to keep this.
• 2:06
  He's right. I see him get with his cool
• 2:08
  shirts. Like I wouldn't mind it's a
• 2:09
  Miami shirt just because it's a cool one.
• 2:11
  But you don't know what. You don't even know what name
• 2:13
  you're going to. Get into Miami would be like
• 2:15
  like that would be a jackpot hit.
• 2:16
  Yeah, yeah, that's a jackpot because it's a, it's a unique
• 2:19
  jersey, Yeah. You know.
• 2:21
  I think I said the best player in the world.
• 2:23
  I think there's a little bit of like echo chamber stuff too,
• 2:25
  where like you all, the only people you hear talk about is
• 2:27
  when people get like good hits. No one's like I got shitty hits.
• 2:30
  Should we do it? It's I'm looking at it right
• 2:32
  now. It's $75.
• 2:34
  Should we? Should we do?
• 2:35
  How many jerseys do you get? 3?
• 2:39
  Let's see if you do size. I think it's.
• 2:42
  Yeah, but we're all different sizes.
• 2:44
  No, all of us do 1 each. I'll just get a mesh.
• 2:49
  Wait, what size are you? I'm a I'm a large.
• 2:54
  I think we're all large. Yeah, we're just different.
• 2:56
  We're just different types of large.
• 2:59
  You're medium. Who's wearing large?
• 3:01
  We're actually large. You know the show I got from
• 3:04
  Japan? And again, XL, Yeah.
• 3:07
  Yeah, yeah, motherfucker. I really didn't feel great.
• 3:09
  Huh. No, I didn't.
• 3:11
  All right. Yep.
• 3:15
  So I have a quick game for you. Just a question.
• 3:19
  I saw a post like that. I we go through it.
• 3:21
  Oh yeah. From the players.
• 3:23
  This is just international, not a certain league, just all the
• 3:26
  players across all competitions, internationally included.
• 3:29
  Which player do you guys think has the most straight Reds?
• 3:33
  Ramos. Pepe.
• 3:38
  Ramos is number 2. Woody Levin.
• 3:40
  Pepe is not on the. List Paul Scholz.
• 3:47
  Showsy is not on there. Ramos is on there.
• 3:50
  Ramos is number 2. Who else is that?
• 3:55
  Dave Bassett. Gattuso.
• 3:57
  So this also says Superstar. No, Ricky's not on there.
• 4:01
  He had a few Reds. Yeah, so.
• 4:04
  How many? How many is on the list total?
• 4:07
  It's like the top like 10:10. So Dennis Wise.
• 4:11
  No. I'll.
• 4:13
  Just say #1. Vinnie Jones.
• 4:15
  Z Don. No, that's funny.
• 4:19
  Now that's shocking. I mean, he definitely had a
• 4:21
  little bit of a temporary and he.
• 4:24
  Ramos got a 11 straight Reds in 1000 games.
• 4:28
  Z Don did it in 800. Yeah, the surprising one on
• 4:32
  there is Buffon. Five straight Reds.
• 4:34
  That's that's hard. That's difficult to do as a
• 4:37
  keeper. Yeah, that's he's clearly just
• 4:40
  taking people. Out I was gonna say like
• 4:41
  one-on-one. That's why he's.
• 4:42
  One-on-one. Yeah, he's denied that.
• 4:45
  Denied goals. Yeah.
• 4:46
  Then they doesn't go against him because he's not in goal.
• 4:48
  Yeah. I think this isn't in your
• 4:52
  matchups. I hadn't.
• 4:53
  I haven't had a chance to look at it.
• 4:54
  Who's winning? Case winning by 18.
• 4:57
  No 20, No. Check it brother.
• 5:01
  Oh, 18. Point adjustments.
• 5:03
  Damn, I'm waiting about 18. I have three players left to
• 5:06
  play in the double game week game and you have two.
• 5:08
  But Gordon's probably not going to play so.
• 5:10
  Well, he played. He played in the last game.
• 5:12
  He played 11 minutes in the last.
• 5:13
  Game. He's not going to play the full
• 5:14
  game. Maybe not the full game, but I
• 5:16
  still have Wharton, Anburn versus, you have Murphy, and so
• 5:22
  how? How'd you leave son on the
• 5:24
  bench? He didn't leave Son on the
• 5:27
  bench. How did you not like?
• 5:29
  How did you I set? On the bench.
• 5:30
  OK, look, I set my alarm for 5:30 like I always do and I
• 5:35
  slept through it. Should have said over 550 had
• 5:37
  that extra 20 minutes of sleep and he would have been to wake
• 5:40
  up like I do. I was so pissed.
• 5:42
  Oh you know I did the same thing you did.
• 5:44
  I woke up at like 5 minutes before and I was like panic and
• 5:48
  by the time I got there I couldn't switch anyone out.
• 5:49
  It was too. Late, so nice.
• 5:51
  You got where? To my phone.
• 5:53
  Wait, it's not nice to you? Bro, it's all the way over
• 5:56
  there. You don't sleep with your phone
• 5:59
  like next to your head like I did.
• 6:00
  That's not good. That's not good for you, man.
• 6:02
  What are you talking about? So it's not like within reach.
• 6:04
  You can't just like. Get the phone, it makes it the
• 6:06
  way it makes it. So usually when my alarm goes
• 6:09
  off it makes me have to get up and go over there.
• 6:12
  It's reasonable. I'll accept it.
• 6:14
  I'll accept it. That's ridiculous.
• 6:17
  I mean, Enzo, I feel like Enzo's like living in a different
• 6:19
  generation. I mean.
• 6:20
  Yeah, so like when you wake up in the middle of the night to
• 6:22
  go, you know, take a piss, you don't take your phone, will you?
• 6:24
  Why would I only take my phone with me when I take a piss?
• 6:26
  Mate, what you? Are you looking at Instagram
• 6:28
  while you're fucking peeing? Not Instagram.
• 6:30
  Holding your Dick with one hand, holding the phone right here and
• 6:33
  scrolling. Why would you do that?
• 6:34
  It's uncomfortable. Or you could sit down.
• 6:36
  Yeah, you're right. You could sit down.
• 6:38
  Hello, and welcome to episode 84 of Draft Offsides.
• 6:42
  My name is Keith. I'm with Tico Enzo.
• 6:43
  All right, this has been episode 84 of Draft Offsides.
• 6:46
  What'd you make? What'd you Oh, I made so I've
• 6:52
  been making a lot of cream for you.
• 6:53
  I made tabaki, but the spicy ones, so it was like I had
• 6:56
  tabaki. It had potatoes, big chunks of
• 6:59
  onions and chicken legs and I like, stewed it with the, I
• 7:04
  don't know how to say gojang. And then the Korean chili
• 7:07
  flakes. Oh my God, mate.
• 7:09
  You like cooking? Yeah.
• 7:10
  I cook. Yeah, I cook.
• 7:11
  That's awesome. No, I know you don't.
• 7:13
  I'm saying you enjoy it. Yeah.
• 7:14
  It's it's relaxing for me. I don't know why man do.
• 7:17
  You like listen to something while you do it or you just.
• 7:19
  You just like you know, it's funny, depending on what I'm
• 7:21
  making, I put on like something that's country based.
• 7:25
  So if I'm making Asian food, for some reason I watch like martial
• 7:27
  art movies or fucking Crazy Rich Asians.
• 7:29
  That's Italian food I'm always making.
• 7:32
  I'm always watching Godfather or Goodfellas or one of those.
• 7:35
  I thought you were going to say you listen to K pop if you're
• 7:37
  making Korean food. You know, I didn't actually this
• 7:39
  this time, I didn't listen to anything.
• 7:40
  But yeah, I'd be watching K dramas.
• 7:42
  I like K dramas. Are you guys The Godfather Part
• 7:45
  1 or Part 2 guys? Part 2.
• 7:49
  It's, it's, I don't know, I'm not, I like the Godfather, but I
• 7:52
  don't like, love it the way that people would love it.
• 7:54
  Like I like it when. Was the last time you watched
• 7:56
  it? Probably like 10 years ago.
• 7:59
  We watch it, I, I feel like it's one of, I feel like it's one of
• 8:02
  those movies, Every time you watch it, depending where you
• 8:04
  are in your life, it's you get a different interpretation of the.
• 8:06
  Film. Come on, guy, It's I'm Enzo the
• 8:09
  Baker. You don't.
• 8:10
  You don't like that shit. That's just fucking awesome.
• 8:13
  That's one's better. I like the second one because of
• 8:15
  the back story. I like the I feel like the
• 8:20
  second one has more of those like powerful scenes, like just
• 8:22
  those moments, but overall like as a story, the movie, The way
• 8:24
  they made it. The book's really good too.
• 8:26
  It's not it. The movie does a lot more I
• 8:29
  feel, but the book is still pretty good.
• 8:31
  And how much are you going to spend on become arena?
• 8:33
  How much fab you driving? 5.
• 8:36
  Interesting, I don't know if I can finesse 6 fab from a trade
• 8:41
  somewhere and swoop you on it. You motherfucker got to change
• 8:45
  it. Hey, text Derek, tell him, hey,
• 8:48
  you know, I I wanted to when I dropped Marino, I wanted to like
• 8:54
  10 moves like back-to-back to back just to drop Marino on the
• 8:56
  bottom just to hide it that. Was kind of funny.
• 9:00
  Oh, you saw. A bitch.
• 9:01
  Hey, Enzo, good luck on Wednesday, by the way, in that
• 9:04
  game. Hey, good luck to you too mate.
• 9:05
  I'd rather, I think I'd rather be meeting you, but I'd still,
• 9:08
  it's not a, it's not a Gimme. No, it's not a Gimme, but it's
• 9:12
  still it's going to be good. Honestly whoever wins, like
• 9:15
  hopefully Tico loses this week and we'll be fine.
• 9:17
  That'll be huge if Tico lost. If Tico loses this week, it'd be
• 9:20
  a big deal, yeah. Because.
• 9:21
  Game on right now and right now, two games plus the point
• 9:25
  advantage. It's a little tough, yeah.
• 9:27
  Have you guys seen my schedule? After this.
• 9:31
  Yeah, so I play Enzo, which, whatever, you know, I'm not
• 9:34
  sweating it. And then I play someone named
• 9:38
  Richard Lesson in the pelvic thrusters.
• 9:40
  Yeah, I play him next week. He's good.
• 9:42
  Is he? He's not.
• 9:44
  He's fucking playing. Although it's rejection to beat
• 9:47
  me next week so I'm probably fucked.
• 9:50
  Are you? Playing Are you playing the
• 9:51
  Special 1 again? And then I'm playing Sergey.
• 9:56
  That's key. He's been playing well.
• 9:57
  That's a huge that's what she said.
• 10:02
  That's a. Huge one, that's what she said.
• 10:05
  Whatever, yes, Solanke is a striker I'm not worried about.
• 10:07
  That, but he's still been winning and scoring over 100
• 10:09
  points. That's what you should.
• 10:10
  Have worried about 100 points. OK, keep going and.
• 10:13
  Then I play. Just give me delight.
• 10:15
  Oh my God, this given. And then I play, wait, is there
• 10:20
  there's a double beat, right? You play.
• 10:24
  And then I play. And he can.
• 10:27
  His team is like unpredictable. Well, yes, KDB and the Omar,
• 10:33
  what's is it last time the Mama Egyptian.
• 10:35
  Yeah, Mama. So it's essentially based off
• 10:38
  relies on those two and then I played off.
• 10:40
  My year with Kyle. Kyle here with Kyle, OH.
• 10:44
  My God. Kyle could actually play a huge
• 10:47
  spoiler in the. Season I don't think I've beat
• 10:50
  Kyle this so far this year I. Don't think so ever.
• 10:52
  Not me, ever. But luckily while your team
• 10:55
  sucks, luckily man, I just playing Villa.
• 10:59
  I don't know why I did that. So.
• 11:02
  And then honestly, to me, a lot of it comes down as are are they
• 11:06
  going to rest my players if if they start wrestling Mostala,
• 11:09
  which usually they don't write, he plays the whole season.
• 11:13
  He's going to want to play for records.
• 11:15
  Yeah, I think he's 2 away from the all time goal assist record.
• 11:20
  So. We lost our voice for you and.
• 11:24
  He's already got the record for golden assists in the.
• 11:27
  Season 2718, Well, you could. You could have 30 and 20.
• 11:30
  That's big. Oh, can he?
• 11:32
  No, they're going to arrest him because.
• 11:33
  No, he's at 27. He's at 20. 7.
• 11:35
  The league if they won the league.
• 11:37
  He's not going to let them arrest him.
• 11:39
  He. Got a new contract too.
• 11:40
  Yeah, he did, and Van Dyke's right behind him.
• 11:46
  I thought we were talking about the gold record then.
• 11:48
  I always know his contract. But no, it's I don't think
• 11:50
  they'll arrest him. Also, his personal record for
• 11:52
  most goals is 32. He might want to beat his own
• 11:55
  record. You're you're just like wishing
• 11:58
  and hoping you just. You do a lot of that you.
• 12:00
  Do a lot of. I was sitting, waiting, wishing.
• 12:05
  I mean if you were the. Most honest position, would you
• 12:07
  want to play or no? I'd want to get.
• 12:09
  You'd want to beat every record I could beat.
• 12:11
  I want to show that I'm the best that ever was in the Premier
• 12:13
  League and I want to beat those. Records, yeah, but it all
• 12:16
  depends on if they're going to arrest him or not.
• 12:18
  So yeah, it's. Because he still, if he causes a
• 12:21
  fit, they're going to. Play on.
• 12:23
  Oh, they they go on for two more years.
• 12:24
  They already signed a. Contract I, I think it's to be
• 12:27
  his decision unless there's like short weeks or double.
• 12:29
  Weeks, It's never a player's decision.
• 12:32
  You innocent fool. I'm going to get out of here.
• 12:35
  Yeah, yeah. Let's see you guys.
• 12:38
  Keith, I'll see you on Wednesday.
• 12:40
  Fuck you. Was that Tamir Keith?
• 12:42
  That's Keith. You.
• 12:44
  You, you. I do do it silently and fucking
• 12:47
  voodoo doll.