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The War in the Air Chapter 2 Parts 3-5 · The H. G. Wells Library

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Speaker 1: Chapter two, parts three through five of War in the Air.
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Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
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Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
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Speaker 1: visit LibriVox dot org. War in the Air by H. G. Wells,
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Speaker 1: Chapter two, Parts three through five. The next morning found
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Speaker 1: the firm of Grub and small Ways in a state
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Speaker 1: of profound despondency. It seemed a small matter to them
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Speaker 1: that the newspaper and cigarette shop opposite displayed such placards
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Speaker 1: as this reported American ultimatum. Britain must fight our infatuated
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Speaker 1: war office still refuses to listen to mister Butteridge. Great
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Speaker 1: Mono rail disaster at Timbuctoo, or this war a question
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Speaker 1: of ours? New York calm excitement in Berlin? Or again
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Speaker 1: Washington still silent? What will Paris do? The panic on
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Speaker 1: the boors, the King's Garden party to the masked Twareggs.
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Speaker 1: Mister Butteridge takes an offer latest betting from Tehran? Or
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Speaker 1: this will America fight anti German riot in Bagdad? The
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Speaker 1: municipal scandals at Damascus? Mister Butteridge's invention for America. Burt
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Speaker 1: stared at these over the card of pumplips in the
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Speaker 1: pane in the door with unseeing eyes. He wore a
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Speaker 1: blackened flannel shirt and the jacketless ruins of the holiday
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Speaker 1: suit of yesterday. The bordered up shop was dark and
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Speaker 1: depressing beyond words. The few scandalous hiring machines had never
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Speaker 1: looked so hopelessly disreputable. He thought of their fellows who
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Speaker 1: were out, and of the approaching disputations of the afternoon.
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Speaker 1: He thought of their new landlord, and of their old landlord,
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Speaker 1: and of bills and claims. Life presented itself for the
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Speaker 1: first time as a hopeless fight against fate. Grub old Man,
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Speaker 1: he said, distilling the quintessence. I'm fair sick o this shop,
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Speaker 1: so am, I said Grub. I'm out of conceit with it.
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Speaker 1: I don't seem to care even to speak to a
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Speaker 1: customer again. There's that a trailer, said Grubb. After a
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Speaker 1: pause blow the trailer said Bert, anyhow, I didn't leave
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Speaker 1: a deposit on it. I didn't do that. Still, he
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Speaker 1: turned round on his friend. Look here, he said, we
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Speaker 1: aren't getting on here. We've been losing money, and of
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Speaker 1: a fist we got things tied up in fifty knots.
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Speaker 1: What can we do, said Grubb? Clear out sell what
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Speaker 1: we can for what it'll fetch an wit. See, it's
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Speaker 1: no good hanging on to a losing concern, no sort
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Speaker 1: of good, just foolishness. That's all right, said Grub. That's
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Speaker 1: all right, but it ain't your capital being sunk in it.
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Speaker 1: No need for us to sink after our capital, said Bert,
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Speaker 1: ignoring the point. Ah, I'm not going to be held
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Speaker 1: responsible for that trailer anyhow, any mile fare. Nobody asked
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Speaker 1: you to make it your affair. If you like to
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Speaker 1: stick on here, well, and could I'm quittin. I'll see
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Speaker 1: bank all a day through, and then i'm o r
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Speaker 1: p h see leavin me leaving you if you must
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Speaker 1: be left. Grubb looked round the shop. It certainly had
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Speaker 1: become distasteful. Once upon a time it had been bright
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Speaker 1: with hope and new beginnings and stock and the prospect
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Speaker 1: of credit. Now now it was failure and dust. Very
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Speaker 1: likely the landlord would be round presently to go on
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Speaker 1: with the row about the window. Where'd you think of going, Bert,
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Speaker 1: Grub asked. Bert turned round and regarded him. I thought
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Speaker 1: it doubt as I was walking home and in bed,
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Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep a wink. What did you think out plans? Oh,
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Speaker 1: war plans? Oh you're for sticking here, not if anything
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Speaker 1: better was to offer. Well, it's only idea, said Bert.
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Speaker 1: You made the girls laugh yesterday. That song you sang
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Speaker 1: seem a long time go now, said Grub, and old
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Speaker 1: Edna nearly cried over that mine. Ah, she gotta fly
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Speaker 1: in her eye, said Grub. I saw it. But what's
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Speaker 1: this got to do with your plan? No end? Said Bert.
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Speaker 1: Oh don't you say? Not singing in the streets streets,
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Speaker 1: no fear, But how about the tour of the water
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Speaker 1: in places of England scrub singing young men of family
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Speaker 1: doing it for a lark. You ain't all a bad voice,
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Speaker 1: you know, and might as well right. I never seen
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Speaker 1: a chap singing on the beach yet that I couldn't
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Speaker 1: have sung into a cock dat And we both know
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Speaker 1: how to put on the top a bit. Well that's
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Speaker 1: my idea, me and you Grub with a refined song
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Speaker 1: and a breakdown like we was doing for foolery yesterday.
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Speaker 1: That was what put it into me head. Easy make
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Speaker 1: up a program easy six choice items and one or
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Speaker 1: two for encorees. And patter. I'm all right for the patter. Anyhow,
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Speaker 1: Grub remained regarding his darkened and disheartening shop. He thought
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Speaker 1: of his former landlord and his present landlord, and of
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Speaker 1: the general discussion stingness of business in an age which
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Speaker 1: re echoes to the bitter cry of the middle class.
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Speaker 1: And then it seemed to him that afar off heard
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Speaker 1: the twangled tankle of a banjo and the voice of
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Speaker 1: a stranded siren singing. He had a sense of hot
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Speaker 1: sunshine upon sand, of the children of at least trenchantly
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Speaker 1: opulent holidaymakers in a circle round about him, of the whisper,
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Speaker 1: they are really gentlemen. And then dollop, dollop came the
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Speaker 1: coppers in hind the hat, sometimes even silver. It was
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Speaker 1: all income, no outgoings, no bills. Armand Bert, he said,
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Speaker 1: Ryll said Bert. And now it shan't be long. We'ennit
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Speaker 1: a star without capital, Neider, said Grubb. If we take
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Speaker 1: the best of these machines up to the bicycle marked
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Speaker 1: in Finsbury, we'd rise six or seven pounds on em.
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Speaker 1: We could easy do that to morrow before anybody much
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Speaker 1: was about. Nice to think of old surt and bones
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Speaker 1: coming round to make his usual row with us and
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Speaker 1: finding a card up closed for repairs. We'll do that,
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Speaker 1: said Grubb with zest. We'll do they I we'll pour
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Speaker 1: up another notice in just urge all inquirers to go
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Speaker 1: round to him and inquire. See, then they'll know all
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Speaker 1: about us. Before the day was out, the whole enterprise
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Speaker 1: was planned. They decided at first they would call themselves
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Speaker 1: the Naval Mister O's a plagiarism, and not perhaps a
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Speaker 1: very good one, from the title of the well known
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Speaker 1: troop of Scarlet. Mister Ease and Bert rather clung to
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Speaker 1: the idea of a uniform of bright blue serge with
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Speaker 1: a lot of gold lace and cord and ornamentation, rather
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Speaker 1: like a naval officer's but more so. But that had
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Speaker 1: to be abandoned as impracticable. It would have taken too
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Speaker 1: much time and money to prepare. They proceed they must
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Speaker 1: wear some cheaper and more readily prepared costume, and Grubb
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Speaker 1: fell back on white dominoes. They entertained the notion for
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Speaker 1: a time of selecting the two worst machines from the
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Speaker 1: hiring stock, painting them over with crimson enamel paint, replacing
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Speaker 1: the bells by the loudest sort of motor horn and
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Speaker 1: doing a ride about to begin and end the entertainment.
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Speaker 1: They doubted the advisability of this step. There's people in
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Speaker 1: the world, said Bert, who wouldn't recognize us, who'd know
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Speaker 1: them bicycles again like a shot. And we don't want
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Speaker 1: to go on with no old stories. We want a
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Speaker 1: fresh start, I do, said Grub badly. We want to
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Speaker 1: forget things and cut out all these rotten old worries.
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Speaker 1: They ain't doin a squod. Nevertheless, they decided to take
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Speaker 1: the risk of these bicycles, and they decided their costumes
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Speaker 1: should be brown stockings and sandals, and cheap unbleached sheets
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Speaker 1: with a hole cut in the middle, and wigs and
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Speaker 1: beards of tow the rest their normal selves, the desert dervish,
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Speaker 1: as they would call themselves, and their chief songs would
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Speaker 1: be those popular ditties in my trailer and what price
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Speaker 1: hair Pins? Now, they decided to begin with small seaside places,
9:18
Speaker 1: and gradually, as they gained confidence, attack larger centers. To
9:23
Speaker 1: begin with, they selected Littlestone in Kent, chiefly because of
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Speaker 1: its unassuming name. So they planned, and it seemed a
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Speaker 1: small and unimportant thing to them that as they clattered,
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Speaker 1: the governments of half the world and more were drifting
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Speaker 1: into war. About midday they became aware of the first
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Speaker 1: of the evening paper placards, shouting to them across the street,
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Speaker 1: the war cloud darkens. Nothing else but that always rotting
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Speaker 1: about war. Now, said bird. They'll get it in the
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Speaker 1: neck in real earnest one of these days. They ate
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Speaker 1: precious careful Part four, so you will understand the sudden
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Speaker 1: apparition that surprised, rather than delighted, the quiet informality of
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Speaker 1: dim Church Sands. Dimchurch was one of the last places
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Speaker 1: on the coast of England to be reached by the
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Speaker 1: mono rail, and so its spacious sands were still at
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Speaker 1: the time of this story the secret and delight of
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Speaker 1: quite a limited number of people. They went there to
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Speaker 1: flee vulgarity and extravagance, and to bathe and sit and
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Speaker 1: talk and play with their children in peace. And the
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Speaker 1: desert dervishes did not please them at all. The two
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Speaker 1: white figures on scarlet wheels came upon them out of
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Speaker 1: the infinite. Along the sands from Little Stone grew nearer
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Speaker 1: and larger and more audible. Honk honking, and emitting weird
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Speaker 1: cries and generally threatening liveliness of the most aggressive type.
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Speaker 1: Good heavens, said Dimchurch. What's this? Then? Our young men,
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Speaker 1: according to a preconcerted plan, wheeled round from file to line, dismounted,
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Speaker 1: and stood at attention. Ladies and gentlemen, they said, We
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Speaker 1: begged to present ourselves the desert dervishes. They bowed profoundly.
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Speaker 1: The few scattered groups upon the beach guarded them with
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Speaker 1: horror for the most part, but some of the children
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Speaker 1: and young people were interested and drew nearer. Very a
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Speaker 1: bob on this beach, said Grub in an undertone, And
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Speaker 1: the desert dervishes plied their bicycles with comic business that
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Speaker 1: got a laugh from one very unsophisticated little boy. Then
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Speaker 1: they took a deep breath and struck into the cheerful
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Speaker 1: strain of what price hair pins now? Grubb sang the song.
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Speaker 1: Bert did his best to make the chorus a rousing one,
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Speaker 1: and at the end of each verse they danced certain
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Speaker 1: steps skirts in hand that they had carefully rehearsed. Ding
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Speaker 1: a ling a ding a ling a ding a ling
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Speaker 1: a time O, what price air pins? Now? So they
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Speaker 1: chanted and danced their steps in the sunshine on Dimchurch Beach,
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Speaker 1: and the children drew near these foolish young men, marveling
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Speaker 1: that they should behave in this way, and the older
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Speaker 1: people looked cold and unfriendly. All round the coasts of
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Speaker 1: Europe that morning, banjos were ringing, voices were bawling and singing,
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Speaker 1: children were playing in the sun. Pleasure boats went to
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Speaker 1: and fro. The common abundant life of the time, unsuspicious
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Speaker 1: of all dangers that gathered darkly against it, flowed on
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Speaker 1: its cheerful, aimless way. In the cities, men fussed about
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Speaker 1: their businesses and engagements. The newspaper placards that had cried
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Speaker 1: wolf so often cried wolf now in vain. Part five. Now,
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Speaker 1: as Bert and Grub boiled their chorus for the third time,
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Speaker 1: they became aware of a very big, golden brown balloon
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Speaker 1: low in the sky to the northwest and coming rapidly
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Speaker 1: toward them. Jest as we will get a hold of em,
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Speaker 1: muttered Grubb. Up comes a counter attraction, go it, Bert,
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Speaker 1: tang a ling a tang a ling a ting a
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Speaker 1: ling a tang What price airpins naw? The balloon rose
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Speaker 1: and fell went out of sight land It thankfulness, said Grubb,
13:43
Speaker 1: reappearing with a leap hang, said Grub, step at Bert,
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Speaker 1: or they'll see it. They finished their dance and then
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Speaker 1: stood frankly staring. They're feing wrong with that balloon, said Bert.
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Speaker 1: Everybody now was looking at the balloon, drawing rapidly nearer
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Speaker 1: before a brisk northwesterly breeze. The song and dance were
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Speaker 1: a dead frost. Nobody thought any more about it. Even
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Speaker 1: Bert and Grubb forgot it and ignored the next item
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Speaker 1: on the program. Altogether. The balloon was bumping, as though
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Speaker 1: its occupants were trying to land. It would approach sinking, slowly,
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Speaker 1: touch the ground, and instantly jump fifty feet or so
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Speaker 1: in the air, and immediately began to fall again. Its
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Speaker 1: car touched a clump of trees, and the black figure
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Speaker 1: that had been struggling in the ropes fell back or
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Speaker 1: jumped back into the car. In another moment. It was
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Speaker 1: quite close. It seemed a huge affair, as big as
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Speaker 1: a house, and it floated down gently toward the sands,
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Speaker 1: a long rope trail behind it, and enormous shouts came
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Speaker 1: from the man in the car. He seemed to be
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Speaker 1: taking off his clothes then his head came over the
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Speaker 1: side tack hall of the rope. They heard quite plain
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Speaker 1: salvage burk, cried Grubb, and they started to head off
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Speaker 1: the rope. Bert followed him, and colliding without upsetting with
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Speaker 1: a fisherman bent upon a similar errand a woman carrying
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Speaker 1: a baby in her arms. Two small boys with toy spades,
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Speaker 1: and a stout gentleman in flannels all got to the
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Speaker 1: trailing rope at about the same time and began to
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Speaker 1: dance over it in their attempts to secure it. Bert
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Speaker 1: came up to this wriggling, elusive serpent and got his
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Speaker 1: foot on it, went down on all fours, and achieved
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Speaker 1: a grip in half a dozen seconds. The whole diffused
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Speaker 1: population of the beach had, as it were, crystallized on
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Speaker 1: the rope and was pulling against the balloon under the
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Speaker 1: vehement and stimulating directions of the man in the car. Paul,
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Speaker 1: I tell you, said the man in the car Paul.
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Speaker 1: For a second or two, the balloon obeyed its momentum
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Speaker 1: and the wind, and tugged its human anchor seaward. It dropped,
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Speaker 1: touched the water and made a flat, silvery splash, and
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Speaker 1: recoiled as one's finger recol oils when one touches anything hot.
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Speaker 1: Pola rene, said the man in the car. She's fainted.
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Speaker 1: He occupied himself with some unseen object, while the people
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Speaker 1: on the rope pulled him in. Bert was nearest the balloon,
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Speaker 1: and much excited and interested. He kept stumbling over the
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Speaker 1: tail of the dervish costume. In his zeal. He had
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Speaker 1: never imagined before what a big, light, wallowing thing a
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Speaker 1: balloon was. The car was of brown, coarse wickerwork and
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Speaker 1: comparatively small. The rope he tugged at was fastened to
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Speaker 1: a stout looking ring four or five feet above the car.
16:36
Speaker 1: At each tug he drew in a yard or so
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Speaker 1: of rope, and the waggling wicker work was drawn so
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Speaker 1: much nearer out of the car came wrathful bellowings, bank
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Speaker 1: head she has? And then if her heart broken with
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Speaker 1: all she's had to go through all, the balloon ceased
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Speaker 1: to struggle and sank downward. Bert dropped the rope and
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Speaker 1: ran forward to catch in a new place. In another moment,
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Speaker 1: he had his hand on the car. Why hold of that,
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Speaker 1: said the man in the car, and his face appeared
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Speaker 1: close to Bert's. A strangely familiar face, fierce eyebrows, a
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Speaker 1: flatish nose, a huge black mustache. He had discarded coat
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Speaker 1: and waistcoat, perhaps with some idea of presently having to
17:21
Speaker 1: swim for his life, and his black hair was extraordinarily disordered.
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Speaker 1: Where all you people get hold round the car, he said,
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Speaker 1: there's a lady here fainted. You've god failure of the heart.
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Speaker 1: Heaven alone knows which my name is, Butteridge, Butteridge, my
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Speaker 1: name is in a balloon. Ah, please all to the edge.
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Speaker 1: This is the last time I trust myself to one
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Speaker 1: of these paleolithic contrivances. A ripping cord failed, and the
17:53
Speaker 1: belve wouldn't act. If ever I meet the scoundrel who
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Speaker 1: ought to have seen He stuck his head out between
18:01
Speaker 1: the ropes abruptly and said, in a note of earnest expostulation,
18:05
Speaker 1: get some brandy, some neat brandy. Some one went up
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Speaker 1: the beach for it. In the car, sprawling upon a
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Speaker 1: sort of bed bench in an attitude of elaborate self abandonment,
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Speaker 1: was a large blond lady wearing a fur coat and
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Speaker 1: a big floriferous hat. Her head lolled back against the
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Speaker 1: padded corner of the car, and her eyes were shut
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Speaker 1: and her mouth open. My dear, said mister Butteridge in
18:32
Speaker 1: a common loud voice. We're safe. She gave no sign,
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Speaker 1: My dear, said mister Butteridge, in a greatly intensified loud voice.
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Speaker 1: Way safe. She was quite impassive. Then, mister Butteridge showed
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Speaker 1: the fiery core of his soul. If she is dead,
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Speaker 1: he said, slowly, lifting a fist toward the balloon above him,
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Speaker 1: and speaking in an immense trum men, this bellow, If
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Speaker 1: she is dead, I will render the heavens like a corment.
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Speaker 1: I must get her out, he cried, his nostrils dilated
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Speaker 1: with emotion. I must get her out. I cannot have
19:14
Speaker 1: her die in a wickerwork basket nine feet square. She
19:19
Speaker 1: who was made for king's palaces. Keep holt of this car.
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Speaker 1: Is there a strong man among it to take care
19:27
Speaker 1: if I hand her out? He swept the lady together
19:31
Speaker 1: by a powerful movement of his arms and lifted her.
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Speaker 1: Keep the car from jumping, he said, to those who
19:38
Speaker 1: clustered about him.
19:39
Speaker 2: Keep your weight on it. She's no light woman, and
19:42
Speaker 2: when she is out of it, it will be relieved.
19:46
Speaker 2: Bert leaped lightly into a sitting position on the edge
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Speaker 2: of the car. The others took a firmer grip upon
19:52
Speaker 2: the ropes and ring. Are you ready, said mister Butteridge.
19:57
Speaker 2: He stood upon the bed bench and lifted the lady carefully.
20:01
Speaker 2: Then he sat down on the wicker edge opposite to Bert,
20:03
Speaker 2: and put one leg over to dangle outside a rope,
20:07
Speaker 2: or so seemed to incommode him. Well, some one assist me,
20:11
Speaker 2: he said, if they would take this lady. It was
20:16
Speaker 2: just at this moment with mister Butteridge and the lady
20:18
Speaker 2: balanced finally on the basket brim that she came too.
20:23
Speaker 2: She came too, suddenly and violently, with a loud, heartrending cry.
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Speaker 1: Of Alfred savely, and she waved her arms searchingly, and
20:33
Speaker 1: then clasped mister Butteridge about. It seemed to Bert that
20:37
Speaker 1: the car swayed for a moment, and then buck jumped
20:40
Speaker 1: and kicked him. Also, he saw the boots of the
20:43
Speaker 1: lady and the right leg of the gentleman describing arcs
20:46
Speaker 1: through the air preparatory to vanishing over the side of
20:49
Speaker 1: the car. His impressions were complex, but they also comprehended
20:53
Speaker 1: the fact that he had lost his balance. And was
20:56
Speaker 1: going to stand on his head inside this creaking basket.
21:00
Speaker 1: He spread out, clutching arms. He did stand on his head,
21:04
Speaker 1: more or less, his tow beard came off and got
21:06
Speaker 1: in his mouth, and his cheeks slid along against padding.
21:10
Speaker 1: His nose buried itself in a bag of sand. The
21:13
Speaker 1: car gave a violent lurch and became still confound it.
21:18
Speaker 1: He said he had an impression he must be stunned
21:21
Speaker 1: because of surgeon in his ears, and because all the
21:25
Speaker 1: voices of the people about him had become small and remote.
21:28
Speaker 1: They were shouting like elves inside a hill. He found
21:32
Speaker 1: it a little difficult to get on his feet. His
21:35
Speaker 1: limbs were mixed up with the garments mister Butteridge had
21:38
Speaker 1: discarded when that gentleman had thought he must needs plunge
21:41
Speaker 1: into the sea. Bert bawled out, half angry, half rueful.
21:45
Speaker 1: Ya Maya said you were going to tip the basket.
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Speaker 1: Then he stood up and clutched the ropes of the
21:51
Speaker 1: car convulsively below him. Far below him, shining blue were
21:59
Speaker 1: the waters of the English Channel. Far off, a little
22:03
Speaker 1: thing in the sunshine, and rushing down as if some
22:06
Speaker 1: one were bending At hollow was the beach, and the
22:08
Speaker 1: irregular cluster of houses that constitutes dimchurch. He could see
22:14
Speaker 1: the little crowd of people he had so abruptly left
22:17
Speaker 1: grub in the white wrapper of a desert dervish was
22:20
Speaker 1: running along the edge of the sea. Mister Butteridge was
22:23
Speaker 1: knee deep in the water, bawling immensely. The lady was
22:27
Speaker 1: sitting up with her floriferous hat in her lap, shockingly neglected.
22:32
Speaker 1: The beach east and west was dotted with little people.
22:35
Speaker 1: They seemed, all heads and feet looking up, and the
22:38
Speaker 1: balloon released from the twenty five stone or so of
22:41
Speaker 1: mister Butteridge and his lady was rushing up into the
22:45
Speaker 1: sky at the pace of a racing motor car. My
22:48
Speaker 1: cracky said, Bert is a coal. He looked down with
22:54
Speaker 1: a pinched face at the receding beach and reflected that
22:57
Speaker 1: he wasn't giddy. Then he made us soon official survey
23:01
Speaker 1: of the cords and ropes about him, with a vague
23:03
Speaker 1: idea of doing something. I'll not will mess about wer
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Speaker 1: this thing, he said at last, and sat down upon
23:10
Speaker 1: the mattress. I'm not going to touch it. I wonder
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Speaker 1: what one ought to do. Soon he got up again
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Speaker 1: and stared for a long time, at the sinking world below,
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Speaker 1: at white cliffs to the east and flattening marsh to
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Speaker 1: the left, at a minute wide prospect of wheeld and
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Speaker 1: down land, at dim towns and harbors and rivers and
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Speaker 1: ribbon like roads, at ships and ships decks and foreshortened funnels,
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Speaker 1: upon the ever widening sea, and at the great mono
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Speaker 1: rail bridge that straddled the channel from Folkstone to Boulogne,
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Speaker 1: until at last, first little wisps and then a veil
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Speaker 1: of filmy cloud hid the prospect from his eyes. He
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Speaker 1: wasn't at all giddy, nor very much frightened, only in
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Speaker 1: a state of enormous consternation. End of Chapter two, Parts
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Speaker 1: three through five,