Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #327: The Hardest Truth About Personal Growth

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Episode #327: The Hardest Truth About Personal Growth · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

0:01
Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Welcome to tea time with Amien Bev. Hey,
0:06
Speaker 1: good day, good day.
0:09
Speaker 2: I really do enjoy us having our conversations, and I
0:12
Speaker 2: hope that people have other people that they get into
0:15
Speaker 2: contact with that they can have conversations that you always
0:17
Speaker 2: feel uplifted afterwards, because sometimes we'll come together and I
0:22
Speaker 2: know that I'll feel heavy and it's like you are
0:25
Speaker 2: such a trooper because you stay in your energy and
0:28
Speaker 2: then we go throughout our conversation and there's always a
0:31
Speaker 2: shift there always is. So I'm very grateful because not
0:36
Speaker 2: everybody gets to go out and have these kind of conversations.
0:38
Speaker 2: I hear people talk about it all the time, even
0:41
Speaker 2: to the point where you know, and if we listen
0:44
Speaker 2: to our intuition, that's part of the whole guidance is
0:47
Speaker 2: it's part of all of this I've had. I had
0:49
Speaker 2: a client recently and he's a man, and it's like
0:54
Speaker 2: there is information coming through and it's like I'm at
0:57
Speaker 2: a point I don't like, I don't know if it
0:59
Speaker 2: has to do with hellman, how many you know, how
1:03
Speaker 2: long I've been here on this planet, this time around,
1:06
Speaker 2: or anything like that, But my give a crap is
1:11
Speaker 2: is and it's not like crap my emotional feelings about
1:15
Speaker 2: how I feel if I'm going to hurt someone's feelings
1:19
Speaker 2: because I'm going to always come from the heart from
1:21
Speaker 2: what I say, it's not It doesn't matter how I
1:24
Speaker 2: brought it up or not. It doesn't matter how they
1:26
Speaker 2: perceive it. It matters how I'm presenting it or for myself.
1:29
Speaker 2: How does it feel for me? Does this feel good? Well?
1:32
Speaker 2: I was receiving information and I shared it with this
1:35
Speaker 2: person that never talks, and he's like, we get done,
1:39
Speaker 2: and he says, that was the most therapeutic massage I've
1:42
Speaker 2: ever had. He walked away feeling lighter. But because I
1:46
Speaker 2: trusted my intuition and went ahead and sured the information.
1:49
Speaker 2: And the fun thing is for me is knowing that
1:52
Speaker 2: it's not my information, it's not my words that I
1:55
Speaker 2: would typically use. Because one of the words that came
1:58
Speaker 2: through was rigid, which you who said as well during
2:01
Speaker 2: the video. So it reminded me. So it's being in
2:06
Speaker 2: that space and recognize again. And if I hadn't, if
2:09
Speaker 2: I had stayed in the space of fear, the people pleasing,
2:12
Speaker 2: not wanting to be seen because it's scary, let's space
2:16
Speaker 2: at people. It was scary for me to do that
2:17
Speaker 2: because it's like I didn't want this person to judge
2:20
Speaker 2: me for the stuff that I'm giving to them. And
2:22
Speaker 2: it's like what if I'm wrong, or what if this?
2:24
Speaker 2: Or what if that? And it's like I can't that
2:27
Speaker 2: all doesn't feel good. And the only way that I
2:29
Speaker 2: can evolve and move forward that makes me feel good
2:32
Speaker 2: is by sharing the information and coming from a space
2:35
Speaker 2: of love. That's all that I can do. And when
2:37
Speaker 2: I was doing these massages, my focus was on my
2:41
Speaker 2: heart and my breathing and being in that space and
2:46
Speaker 2: the whole treatment for my even for myself. I could
2:49
Speaker 2: notice a difference of depletion or not depletion. I could
2:53
Speaker 2: notice the difference of being uplifted or feeling tired. I
2:56
Speaker 2: could notice all these things, and I felt uplifted, felt guided,
3:00
Speaker 2: I felt full. I felt like I wasn't pouring from myself,
3:06
Speaker 2: it was pouring through me. It was just so different
3:09
Speaker 2: and the perspective of the whole thing. And I was
3:12
Speaker 2: enjoying do I was really enjoying doing my job. I
3:15
Speaker 2: enjoyed my job anyways, but this was a whole other level.
3:18
Speaker 2: But I've never had the experience of why because I
3:21
Speaker 2: decided not to be afraid, or even I just I
3:24
Speaker 2: was still afraid, but I decided not to let it
3:26
Speaker 2: stop me or to control me. I just went ahead
3:29
Speaker 2: and just allowed myself to be myself and it turned
3:32
Speaker 2: out to be okay, thank God. No, But seriously, it
3:37
Speaker 2: gets kind of skippy up to do some of those
3:39
Speaker 2: things because we don't because why. Because I've been that
3:42
Speaker 2: kid in the classroom that you said something wrong and
3:44
Speaker 2: somebody else laughed at. That's why I quit asking question.
3:47
Speaker 2: That's why even around the house with the parents, you know,
3:50
Speaker 2: you learn to survive. And I guess I'm I'm kind
3:55
Speaker 2: of past the point of survival because I'm going to
3:58
Speaker 2: be here for as long as I'm going to be here.
4:00
Speaker 2: I've managed the last fifty five fifty six years. See,
4:03
Speaker 2: I'm going backwards. I keep saying I'm fifty four, so
4:05
Speaker 2: I can get off in closed at my numbers because
4:08
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. Because that's the thing that I'm realizing,
4:10
Speaker 2: it doesn't that stuff doesn't matter. Life changes it and
4:16
Speaker 2: you release the stress off your shoulders. And maybe that's
4:19
Speaker 2: why I can start recognizing other things that are happening
4:21
Speaker 2: because there has been so much shedding.
4:24
Speaker 3: It's not easy.
4:25
Speaker 2: It's not always easy. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it's
4:28
Speaker 2: easier to look at it afterwards and see why it's
4:31
Speaker 2: so easy. Now I can walk through that a little
4:32
Speaker 2: bit differently, or see that a little bit differently. We
4:34
Speaker 2: take that weight off of ourselves, all this crap that
4:37
Speaker 2: we've been carrying around on ourselves for our whole lives.
4:40
Speaker 2: That's so unnecessary.
4:43
Speaker 3: You know, when I when I started my.
4:47
Speaker 1: Journey of healing myself mentally and emotionally, I had a
4:53
Speaker 1: grasp on my limitations, like arguing for my limitations. Yeah,
4:58
Speaker 1: but he did this, and they did that, and and
5:01
Speaker 1: we've always done this and and then and you know,
5:05
Speaker 1: it's just hanging on to all that was and all
5:09
Speaker 1: that I learned from others and all the trauma and
5:14
Speaker 1: drama experiences I had, and it was their fault. The shame,
5:20
Speaker 1: the blame, right, and then the shame and the guilt
5:22
Speaker 1: associated to like the whole the whole package. And I
5:27
Speaker 1: look back when I started my journey of wanting to
5:34
Speaker 1: be different, do something different, not be so angry, and
5:40
Speaker 1: the amount of interactions that I had with mentors at
5:49
Speaker 1: the time and them trying to tell me something.
5:54
Speaker 3: But I wasn't.
5:55
Speaker 1: I couldn't hear it because I was so clouded with
5:58
Speaker 1: my limitations and my experiences. I couldn't hear them. I couldn't.
6:04
Speaker 1: I couldn't understand. Really, I couldn't understand what it was
6:08
Speaker 1: they were trying to tell me. What I didn't do
6:11
Speaker 1: is just throw my hands up and say this doesn't
6:13
Speaker 1: work for me. I kept going back asking the questions,
6:17
Speaker 1: and they kept telling me the same shit over and
6:20
Speaker 1: over and over, which was frustrating. But I couldn't hear them.
6:22
Speaker 1: I couldn't.
6:23
Speaker 3: I couldn't absorb their teachings. Reading the books.
6:29
Speaker 1: I read over one hundred books, all pretty much saying
6:32
Speaker 1: the same thing. But it couldn't process it. I only
6:38
Speaker 1: I got the pieces I needed that could click in
6:41
Speaker 1: that moment that you know, that seeped through the crack,
6:45
Speaker 1: the very thin crack that was there that I could like,
6:48
Speaker 1: oh okay, I get that. Over one hundred books, reading
6:52
Speaker 1: the same stuff over and over and over again, just
6:54
Speaker 1: different authors, and now encountering students, people, really people asking
7:05
Speaker 1: me questions after teaching a one hour class, telling that
7:14
Speaker 1: giving them a tools, helping them understand this is what
7:17
Speaker 1: you've been doing. You want something different, here's what you
7:20
Speaker 1: can do. You have to practice it, you have to
7:24
Speaker 1: implement it, you have to take time to do it right,
7:27
Speaker 1: very gentle, explain the whole thing. And after class have
7:31
Speaker 1: somebody come up to me and say, I don't know
7:34
Speaker 1: what to do and reiterating what we just went over
7:43
Speaker 1: in class. But she's hanging on to her limitations so strongly.
7:52
Speaker 1: It was like her body was sitting in the class,
7:57
Speaker 1: but she was discompletely disconnt and not taking in not
8:03
Speaker 1: a word of what I said. And then when class
8:07
Speaker 1: was over, asking me the same questions I had already
8:11
Speaker 1: answered in the class. And sometimes what I'm finding is
8:24
Speaker 1: I too need to remember where I was, because in
8:28
Speaker 1: me I want to I wanted to grab her and
8:30
Speaker 1: just say.
8:31
Speaker 3: Didn't you hear a fucking word I said?
8:32
Speaker 1: You know, I'd just be like, ah, let's shake this,
8:36
Speaker 1: shake this energy up so you can hear me. And
8:39
Speaker 1: I did get a little abrupt with her. I said, listen,
8:42
Speaker 1: you're you're arguing for your limitations. You know you're not
8:45
Speaker 1: hearing anything I'm saying, and you're not willing to do
8:50
Speaker 1: something different. There's nothing I can do for you. Like
8:53
Speaker 1: I got a little agitated with the conversation. And then
9:01
Speaker 1: there's there's another person around on a regular basis saying
9:07
Speaker 1: saying similar. We've had multiple conversations and there's been some
9:20
Speaker 1: I've pulled back again, talking about pulling my energy back
9:24
Speaker 1: because this is not my responsibility.
9:26
Speaker 3: It's not my job to fix this.
9:28
Speaker 1: She's asked the questions, I've answered, She's asked the questions
9:31
Speaker 1: I've answered, Like, this has been going on for months,
9:35
Speaker 1: and now I'm I'm just like, what I've noticed is
9:40
Speaker 1: she has also attended some of my classes, but she
9:44
Speaker 1: is not willing to look at herself. Is not an option.
9:49
Speaker 1: She's sitting in the class, she's saying about everybody else
9:52
Speaker 1: this could help. She is not willing to look at herself,
9:55
Speaker 1: and she is distracting the other students, having conversations about
10:00
Speaker 1: stuff that's not even pertaining to the class. So it's
10:03
Speaker 1: just a huge distraction. And I'm just about ready to
10:05
Speaker 1: tell don't come to my class. I'm like, I'm at
10:07
Speaker 1: that point, just don't even come because you're doing a
10:11
Speaker 1: disservice for me and the people who are there for
10:14
Speaker 1: the class. Like, I'm almost at that point. And now
10:23
Speaker 1: she's going and having conversations with other people and same things,
10:29
Speaker 1: same conversations, over and over again. And it's just like
10:34
Speaker 1: my point is is we take a look at ourselves.
10:38
Speaker 1: We have to start with ourselves. We have to look
10:40
Speaker 1: at ourselves. And that is one of the hardest things
10:42
Speaker 1: of starting a healing process with anything is looking at yourself.
10:48
Speaker 1: Because we want to believe our belief system is we
10:54
Speaker 1: didn't do anything wrong, and that is a true statement.
11:00
Speaker 3: I agree with that.
11:02
Speaker 1: And you're also choosing to be the people pleaser, the fixer,
11:08
Speaker 1: the control freak, making things your responsibility that's not yours.
11:12
Speaker 1: You're being an enabler. They're looking at what is it
11:17
Speaker 1: you are getting from the experience, because you're getting something
11:20
Speaker 1: otherwise you wouldn't be getting involved in it. To what
11:25
Speaker 1: part is my responsibility? And we don't want to look
11:30
Speaker 1: at that.
11:32
Speaker 3: That's the hardest thing.
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Speaker 2: It is the most important factor. It is the only factor,
11:37
Speaker 2: honestly there, it really is. It's the only factor. And
11:43
Speaker 2: it's because people don't realize as soon as you start
11:46
Speaker 2: laming somebody or something for something, you're throwing your power.
11:50
Speaker 2: You're throwing your energy to something. You're not going to
11:52
Speaker 2: feel lifted up you're going to feel depleted, you're not
11:55
Speaker 2: going to feel peaceful. Those are all the opposite, and
12:00
Speaker 2: that's how you know, Hey, I could look at this differently,
12:02
Speaker 2: and it's like asking your team with insight, you like, man,
12:05
Speaker 2: I keep asking Amy all these questions, but she just
12:08
Speaker 2: doesn't get me. She doesn't understand where I'm coming from.
12:12
Speaker 2: She's gonna figure it out, but we got to start
12:14
Speaker 2: asking the questions within ourselves to figure these things out.
12:17
Speaker 2: It's not someone else's responsibility. And then my mind processes
12:20
Speaker 2: of things a few different ways. You know, her talking
12:23
Speaker 2: to you, she probably would benefit more from a one
12:26
Speaker 2: on one conversations. She doesn't seem like she's into the
12:30
Speaker 2: group because it's so easy for her. I've had a
12:33
Speaker 2: few people that have been like that. But on the
12:35
Speaker 2: other side that I would say, I've had a few
12:37
Speaker 2: people that have been like that a client, and we're
12:39
Speaker 2: no longer in each other's lives at all, because every
12:44
Speaker 2: time we would come together, I could bring I could
12:46
Speaker 2: shift the energy, or I could match the energy. I
12:49
Speaker 2: would shift the energy and the conversations would be great
12:52
Speaker 2: and we'd have a great interaction. A lot of things happen.
12:54
Speaker 2: But if we recognize in those moments we're planning seeds.
12:58
Speaker 2: That's all that it is for them to start going
13:00
Speaker 2: and asking in questions and now I'm not available for
13:02
Speaker 2: this person any longer, so they have to go because
13:05
Speaker 2: I'm not going to enable this behavior. I'm it's not
13:07
Speaker 2: my responsibility, it's not it's their responsibility. So I pull
13:12
Speaker 2: back so many different things that were popping into my
13:15
Speaker 2: head just as you were saying that, really, and all
13:18
Speaker 2: we can do is in that moment is just the
13:20
Speaker 2: raise of frequency and they can. It reminds me of healings.
13:24
Speaker 2: There was that movie, I don't know, maybe it was
13:26
Speaker 2: Mary Magdalene movie where she actually in the beginning of
13:30
Speaker 2: the movie she's laying down with this woman that's giving
13:32
Speaker 2: birth and she's breathing with this person. We can help people,
13:36
Speaker 2: and that's a healing. We can help people and shift
13:39
Speaker 2: them in that moment. But whatever they do with it
13:41
Speaker 2: once they leave your environment, well, once you've healed somebody,
13:46
Speaker 2: I think they would say Jesus would say go forward
13:48
Speaker 2: and don't speak of this to anybody, basically in those
13:51
Speaker 2: kind of words, because as soon as you go forward
13:54
Speaker 2: and you bring it forward again, you start bringing the
13:56
Speaker 2: whole story back again. You've created all this rest withinside
14:01
Speaker 2: self or joy because you could do with the other
14:04
Speaker 2: opposite side of that. So it's like it's just recognizing
14:07
Speaker 2: those moments. All we are in that. It's just that moment.
14:10
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what they do after it. It doesn't
14:13
Speaker 2: matter if they change or don't change. We gave an
14:16
Speaker 2: opportunity for them to feel something different. We've planted seeds.
14:20
Speaker 2: That's it. That's because we're guides. Because I'm not the guruper,
14:24
Speaker 2: but that's gonna sit up on a heel for you
14:25
Speaker 2: to come up over and seek my wisdom all the
14:28
Speaker 2: time for whatever. I'm just gonna guide you right back
14:31
Speaker 2: into yourself because because otherwise I find myself, because I've
14:35
Speaker 2: been that person that has looked to somebody else for
14:37
Speaker 2: that guidance and information. And the more that you do,
14:40
Speaker 2: then it's like I if I, Okay, well now I'm
14:42
Speaker 2: having another problem. I need this, I need this taken
14:44
Speaker 2: care of right now, and then we become dependent. We're
14:47
Speaker 2: now codependent on something or somebody else, and that's not
14:51
Speaker 2: that's not leading the person back within to themselves. That's
14:55
Speaker 2: the most important journey. We've got to be able to
14:57
Speaker 2: look at ourselves. Like you said, it's not a matter
14:59
Speaker 2: of blaming somebody else. You read all those books and
15:03
Speaker 2: they said the same thing over and over again. And
15:05
Speaker 2: because you had the strong desire, sounds like this woman
15:08
Speaker 2: does too, strong desire to be something different, but don't
15:12
Speaker 2: know how to be something different and not even recognize
15:15
Speaker 2: that you're at a level or a frequency that's not
15:18
Speaker 2: allowing for possibility. It's very limited. You said cracked open,
15:24
Speaker 2: and the first thing that my mind heard was that
15:27
Speaker 2: cracking open of the heart. Right, you'll see all these
15:30
Speaker 2: things that says, when your heart cracks open, you're allowing
15:33
Speaker 2: the light to come in. We're only in that crack.
15:37
Speaker 2: Maybe it's a teeny tiny you can't even get a
15:39
Speaker 2: hair into that crack, but it's still allowing a shift
15:42
Speaker 2: to happen. So then it allows for a bigger shift
15:45
Speaker 2: to happen. And then until you realize there's nothing that's
15:47
Speaker 2: on the it's like you broke out of the shew
15:49
Speaker 2: you made it, and it's an a A chicken can't
15:52
Speaker 2: do it with help. If you do, if you help
15:54
Speaker 2: them out, you're doing a disservice. You've got to allow
15:57
Speaker 2: the process of us to break forward from our hearts,
16:01
Speaker 2: not you, but everybody. You have to give yourself that
16:04
Speaker 2: grace to allow yourself to have that, because each time
16:08
Speaker 2: you're allowing a little bit more of that shell to
16:10
Speaker 2: chip away, and your whole life is going to shift.
16:13
Speaker 2: Everything shifts from that space. It's glorious. I've been experiencing it.
16:18
Speaker 2: I get emotional, my eyes start watering and stuff. It
16:21
Speaker 2: gets silly, but it's like I enjoy it. It feels good.
16:26
Speaker 2: That's how I know that I'm going in the direction
16:29
Speaker 2: I'm meant to go.
16:32
Speaker 3: And that's pretty key too.
16:33
Speaker 1: It's just it's what feels good to you may not
16:36
Speaker 1: feel good to me.
16:37
Speaker 3: So what is.
16:42
Speaker 1: What is the benefits that I'm receiving within myself that
16:45
Speaker 1: is easing those heavy emotions to put me on a
16:52
Speaker 1: path where there's just a little bit of ease, there's
16:55
Speaker 1: a little bit of joy, there's a little bit of
16:58
Speaker 1: feeling safe. And keep doing that and build that up.
17:03
Speaker 1: It's like building up a muscle. You have to keep
17:06
Speaker 1: practicing it because I have practiced for so many years,
17:14
Speaker 1: still over half my life, practicing how to be angry
17:18
Speaker 1: and frustrated and irritated and shameful and fully guilt and
17:22
Speaker 1: critical and judgmental. I practice that for so many years.
17:27
Speaker 1: My system has to learn something new, and I have
17:29
Speaker 1: to practice it for it to get more and more,
17:33
Speaker 1: get stronger within myself so that it is more relevant
17:39
Speaker 1: and more apparent and more easily accessible than the way
17:45
Speaker 1: I was. But without the practice, you're going to remain
17:53
Speaker 1: the same. You're going to keep doing the same things,
17:56
Speaker 1: making the same decisions, attracting the same people, having the
18:00
Speaker 1: same conversations. I had a client that I just had
18:05
Speaker 1: recently had a conversation with, and she's like, well, I'm
18:11
Speaker 1: doing really well. I'm I am being successful, and there
18:16
Speaker 1: are these people that they're not supportive and they're they're
18:24
Speaker 1: you know, basically trying to pull her back. And she said,
18:30
Speaker 1: and the more I change, the less I want to
18:35
Speaker 1: be around them, and and the less conversations we have.
18:38
Speaker 1: And I said, well, yeah, you it's just not it's
18:41
Speaker 1: not your alignment anymore. You're not in vibrational alignment with
18:45
Speaker 1: those people anymore. And they will start moving away, like
18:51
Speaker 1: creating distance, less conversations, less phone calls, less, less coffee dates.
18:56
Speaker 1: Like it's just it's because you're in you're shifting, And
19:02
Speaker 1: what happens, so is as they move out, it makes
19:06
Speaker 1: room for the new. And I said, you know, when
19:11
Speaker 1: when I was hanging out in the bars, when I
19:14
Speaker 1: was in those lower vibrational emotional frequencies, had all.
19:19
Speaker 3: Kinds of friends.
19:20
Speaker 1: Girl, I was like, I knew people I go out
19:24
Speaker 1: in public.
19:25
Speaker 3: I knew people all over the place.
19:28
Speaker 1: And then when I took the hiatus and I pulled back,
19:30
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to the bars, not drinking as much,
19:33
Speaker 1: just really working on myself to be different their acquaintances
19:38
Speaker 1: and I have zero.
19:41
Speaker 3: Zero A.
19:44
Speaker 1: Commonalities. Those are the conversations where it's like, hey, how
19:49
Speaker 1: are you great? How's kids fine? Man?
19:52
Speaker 3: You know what about this weather?
19:55
Speaker 1: Like it's I can I can tell you when I
19:58
Speaker 1: when I go up to talk to somebody, that's exactly
20:00
Speaker 1: how our conversations are.
20:02
Speaker 3: Going to go.
20:03
Speaker 1: How are you, how are the kids, how's your spouse?
20:08
Speaker 1: Onto the weather? And to me, when you get to
20:10
Speaker 1: the weather, the conversation's over. We're done, like oh, moving
20:14
Speaker 1: on to the next and I'm gonna go have this
20:15
Speaker 1: conversation again over here with this other person. So same conversation.
20:20
Speaker 1: But I said, my circle is very small of people
20:27
Speaker 1: that I have these meaningful conversations with Obviously, it's so
20:32
Speaker 1: obvious Bev is one of them because we do this
20:35
Speaker 1: all the time. But all the other all the other
20:40
Speaker 1: relationships are very surfacey.
20:46
Speaker 2: I have a very small circle as well. It's interesting,
20:51
Speaker 2: It really is interesting. It's because there's so many shifts
20:54
Speaker 2: that happen. People come into your experience of people go out,
20:57
Speaker 2: and then some of those people will come back because
20:59
Speaker 2: they don't have it maybe, you know, maybe they were
21:02
Speaker 2: staying stuck for you know, because of you being in
21:06
Speaker 2: that situation. Who knows, you know, like, oh, but Amy's
21:09
Speaker 2: gonna be there, Let's go do it. Let's go see Amy.
21:11
Speaker 2: Because I was a similar path as you. I don't
21:17
Speaker 2: know hardly anybody anymore. That's not that's not my journey.
21:21
Speaker 2: I do have a glass of wine here and there,
21:22
Speaker 2: so I do like glass of wine lately, but I
21:26
Speaker 2: went for a long time without it. But I'm in
21:28
Speaker 2: a different energy and so my feelings about all of
21:31
Speaker 2: it is more neutral. So I find myself enjoying things.
21:35
Speaker 2: I feel like that's part of our evolution too. If
21:37
Speaker 2: I'm going to add that to the conversation, because when
21:41
Speaker 2: we shift and some of these things that were you know,
21:44
Speaker 2: that's a no, that's a negative, that's a whatever. I
21:47
Speaker 2: feel like all those things need to come into a
21:49
Speaker 2: neutrality so that you no longer have anything to learn
21:52
Speaker 2: from them either way, and it just kind of falls
21:54
Speaker 2: away from you anyways, and then you go on to
21:56
Speaker 2: the next thing, you learn something new. It's this I'm
22:00
Speaker 2: just kind of more and more fascinated about just the
22:03
Speaker 2: journey that I'm on, just the experiences that I notice,
22:06
Speaker 2: just even when I'm angry yesterday I got I've had
22:11
Speaker 2: I have my moments. People, I have my moments, but
22:15
Speaker 2: they're not like they were. And it's like, now, I
22:16
Speaker 2: don't go discuss it with the person or with anything else,
22:20
Speaker 2: but I might not. I might walk around outside. We
22:22
Speaker 2: got a generator going. No one can hear shit when
22:24
Speaker 2: that's going on, So I might be walking around like
22:27
Speaker 2: F this and F that and blah blah blah blah
22:29
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah. But I feel better afterwards. And
22:32
Speaker 2: I didn't dump it on into any anybody. I just
22:35
Speaker 2: allowed myself to release. I allowed myself to have a
22:37
Speaker 2: voice for my little girl inside of me that had
22:42
Speaker 2: felt hurt or felt whatever. I'm allowing that to happen.
22:46
Speaker 2: But I'm giving safe places me and hurt. I'm not
22:50
Speaker 2: sharing We're not sharing it with somebody else. We're talking
22:53
Speaker 2: about it on the inside. I'm helping her walk this
22:56
Speaker 2: path and recognize that it's not necessary to carry all
22:58
Speaker 2: this stuff, and then to also point out how silly
23:02
Speaker 2: some of it is, the things that I might believe
23:05
Speaker 2: or the things that I might have perceived growing up,
23:10
Speaker 2: that I think that that's the way that it is.
23:11
Speaker 2: And I recognize it when you start rationalizing, rationalizing, or
23:16
Speaker 2: you start using your wisdom and looking at this and
23:18
Speaker 2: it's like, but Nikki, does that make sense? Do you
23:22
Speaker 2: think that that would really be the process? Do you
23:25
Speaker 2: think that's really true? And it's like, you don't know
23:27
Speaker 2: until you sit with yourself. And that's what I've been
23:30
Speaker 2: doing a lot of. And I can recognize those that
23:33
Speaker 2: can't sit with themselves, and I would probably even use
23:35
Speaker 2: the person that's coming into these groups keeping themselves busy,
23:39
Speaker 2: trying to fix things, trying to do everything else. But
23:41
Speaker 2: it's like it's because it's a distraction from having to
23:44
Speaker 2: deal with or not having to deal with, but not
23:47
Speaker 2: knowing how to process everything that goes on inside of
23:51
Speaker 2: them because I didn't know what to do with it.
23:53
Speaker 2: For fifty something years, it seemed like and now it
23:57
Speaker 2: just seems like the more that I let go and
24:00
Speaker 2: float downstream, that my journey is a lot easier even
24:05
Speaker 2: when I do, even when I feel like there is
24:07
Speaker 2: a hiccup yep.
24:10
Speaker 1: And I would say, if you want to be different
24:14
Speaker 1: because you're not happy with your like I got to
24:16
Speaker 1: a point I didn't like myself. I didn't want to
24:18
Speaker 1: be with myself because I was such a such a
24:20
Speaker 1: bitch and so unhappy, and I was trying to make
24:25
Speaker 1: I was trying to make everybody else feel as unhappy
24:29
Speaker 1: as I was. And that's what we do. We want
24:32
Speaker 1: people to be in alignment with how we're feeling, so
24:36
Speaker 1: then we can be on the same page of validating
24:38
Speaker 1: each other of how right we are and how wrong
24:40
Speaker 1: everybody else is. And so I knew I didn't like me,
24:47
Speaker 1: and if I didn't like me, why would anybody else
24:49
Speaker 1: like me? I would look in the mirror and say
24:51
Speaker 1: that I don't like you, And why would anybody else
24:53
Speaker 1: like you? Why would anybody else want to take the
24:57
Speaker 1: time to love you on the level of love that
25:00
Speaker 1: you want? So that was a That was something I
25:06
Speaker 1: had to come to terms with in myself, and I
25:10
Speaker 1: also was the one who had to make the shift
25:12
Speaker 1: the changes. Do something different, think differently, act differently, speak differently,
25:20
Speaker 1: choosing my words, being very aware of my thoughts. You know,
25:25
Speaker 1: that was all I mean. I had to learn that.
25:28
Speaker 1: That wasn't just some natural thing that came to me.
25:30
Speaker 1: I had to learn it, and it took a long
25:32
Speaker 1: time for me to grasp it. So this is why
25:34
Speaker 1: Bev and I come together is to have these conversations.
25:37
Speaker 1: So you understand one, we.
25:39
Speaker 3: Still go through shit.
25:40
Speaker 1: We are not immune to it. We we, however, look
25:47
Speaker 1: at ourselves first. We might get triggered by something and go, well,
25:52
Speaker 1: why did they do that? But then it's like, no,
25:55
Speaker 1: why did I why do Why is it affecting me?
25:58
Speaker 1: Why am I allowing allowing it to affect me?
26:00
Speaker 3: So it's a shift like fast.
26:03
Speaker 1: And we also have tools that and techniques that help
26:09
Speaker 1: us move through things quicker because we have been practicing
26:14
Speaker 1: this for a very long time and we utilize our tools.
26:20
Speaker 1: So that's you know, if you want something different, if
26:24
Speaker 1: you want a different way of being, if you want
26:26
Speaker 1: to embrace life with more joy, that good news bad news,
26:32
Speaker 1: gue responsibility, bad news, due responsibility, good news, juur responsibility.
26:38
Speaker 3: However, it's about perspective. It's however you.
26:41
Speaker 1: See that statement could be a negative or positive.
26:45
Speaker 3: It's up to you.
26:47
Speaker 1: In the beginning, my word was fuck, I have to
26:51
Speaker 1: do this right.
26:52
Speaker 3: Like I took it as a negative.
26:55
Speaker 1: When I take it as a positive, it's Oh, it's
26:58
Speaker 1: my responsibility, which means I have the power, which means
27:01
Speaker 1: I get to do it and nobody else can tell
27:04
Speaker 1: me how, when, where, or why. But they're going to
27:08
Speaker 1: offer up the information for me to embrace it so
27:10
Speaker 1: I can move forward and do something different and feel differently.
27:14
Speaker 1: So that's all on me, And even to this day,
27:18
Speaker 1: even though I get triggered by people, it is still
27:21
Speaker 1: my responsibility on how I want to feel, no matter
27:24
Speaker 1: what they do, no matter what they say, no matter
27:28
Speaker 1: how they think, no matter what their reactions are. I
27:33
Speaker 1: get to choose how I show up, and that's on me,
27:36
Speaker 1: total responsibility. Anything to add to that before you're at
27:44
Speaker 1: the sub.
27:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, because it's not all that you
27:48
Speaker 2: just said. It's very freeing. It's very freeing of yourself.
27:51
Speaker 2: It's very freeing for me to know that I don't
27:53
Speaker 2: have to do something that somebody else wants me to do.
27:56
Speaker 2: It's very freeing to know that someone doesn't have control
27:59
Speaker 2: of for me. I don't have to give them my
28:01
Speaker 2: control and think that they know what's best for me.
28:04
Speaker 2: It's all that's very freeing. It's very freeing to be
28:06
Speaker 2: in my own body and my own power instead of
28:09
Speaker 2: walking around filling everybody else's stuff all the time. And
28:12
Speaker 2: the only way you can do that is by really
28:14
Speaker 2: paying attention to yourself, really loving yourself, really focusing in
28:18
Speaker 2: on yourself, not pushing the blame onto someone else, asking
28:21
Speaker 2: questions withinside self so you can get answers that free
28:25
Speaker 2: you up even more. Because it was never anybody else's job,
28:30
Speaker 2: it was never anybody else's responsibility, with never anybody else's
28:33
Speaker 2: under anybody else's control unless you gave it to them.
28:38
Speaker 2: That's empowering. I liked. I liked that. I like to
28:40
Speaker 2: be empowered. I like to know that my decisions are
28:44
Speaker 2: true and what's best for me, and they're not always
28:47
Speaker 2: going to align with somebody else. But I like being
28:49
Speaker 2: able to stand in that power, just even to feel
28:52
Speaker 2: good about that, because there was times that I wouldn't
28:55
Speaker 2: there was times that I would wish that I could
28:56
Speaker 2: ask my mom what should I do. It's empowering to
29:00
Speaker 2: know that we have all this guide us what's inside
29:02
Speaker 2: of us, and we can make the decisions that are
29:04
Speaker 2: best for us.
29:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, thank you, Bev, thank you for being here,
29:11
Speaker 1: thank you for having use conversations. And we have these
29:15
Speaker 1: conversations because we know it's going to be beneficial for somebody.
29:21
Speaker 1: And we've been doing this for over six years now,
29:25
Speaker 1: which blows my mind every time I think about it.
29:29
Speaker 1: But we want to be a resource and have these
29:33
Speaker 1: conversations out loud. We don't plan our conversations. We have
29:37
Speaker 1: organic conversations and we bring them to the table for
29:42
Speaker 1: our audience and hopefully it's beneficial for you. And again,
29:46
Speaker 1: whatever you do with the information is your choice. We
29:49
Speaker 1: can't We can provide it, but we can't do it
29:52
Speaker 1: for you, and nobody could do it for us either.
29:54
Speaker 3: We had to take.
29:55
Speaker 1: The initiative to implement what it is we wanted to
29:59
Speaker 1: change within ourselves. And so knowing that that's why we
30:05
Speaker 1: have these conversations, and you can also be resourceful by
30:08
Speaker 1: sharing them with other people that you may know are
30:12
Speaker 1: asking or seeking guidance, so you can find us on
30:17
Speaker 1: many platforms. We're here on a YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, speaker, Spotify, podcast, attic,
30:24
Speaker 1: and just be resourceful. Share the share the link with them,
30:30
Speaker 1: or share the book if it was a book you
30:32
Speaker 1: read or an inspirational person's name. Just help the people
30:37
Speaker 1: along that are on your path that are seeking this
30:40
Speaker 1: similar guidance. So with that, we thank you for hanging
30:43
Speaker 1: out with us. You could have done anything else with
30:45
Speaker 1: your time and you chose to listen to us, So
30:48
Speaker 1: thank you.
30:49
Speaker 3: We appreciate you.
30:50
Speaker 1: We appreciate your time, leave us, comment, share our videos, and.
30:56
Speaker 3: Tea time with Amy and Bev.
30:59
Speaker 2: We'll see you next five