Latest / Herspiration Happy Hour / Herspiration Happy Hour, Season 9, Eps. 19: Is Your Job Your Whole Personality?

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Herspiration Happy Hour, Season 9, Eps. 19: Is Your Job Your Whole Personality? · Herspiration Happy Hour

0:10
SPEAKER_03: Are you ready for cocktails and conversations?
0:13
SPEAKER_03: Are you ready for cocktails and conversations?
0:15
SPEAKER_03: Are you ready for cocktails and conversations with your host, the unapologetic Diva Dr.
0:21
SPEAKER_03: G, the girlfriend therapist Dr.
0:23
SPEAKER_03: Cortina Lewis, and the networking extraordinaire Diana Richardson Philippus.
0:30
SPEAKER_03: Are you ready for cocktails and conversation?
0:35
SPEAKER_03: This is Herspiration Happy Hour.
0:38
SPEAKER_03: Happy Hour.
0:38
unknown: Happy Hour.
0:49
SPEAKER_03: This is your unapologetic Diva, Dr.
0:51
SPEAKER_03: G.
0:52
SPEAKER_03: This is Dr.
0:53
SPEAKER_03: Cortina Lewis, aka the girlfriend therapist.
0:56
SPEAKER_06: And this is Diana Richardson Philippis, your networking istraordinaire.
1:00
SPEAKER_03: What's going on, ladies?
1:02
SPEAKER_03: It's another winning Wednesday.
1:05
SPEAKER_03: And we can get started with uh like what are we celebrating today?
1:11
SPEAKER_03: I guess I should have asked how y'all week is first, huh?
1:15
SPEAKER_03: It's good.
1:16
SPEAKER_03: It's good.
1:17
SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.
1:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay, let's go.
1:20
SPEAKER_03: What are what are we celebrating?
1:22
SPEAKER_06: Well, I had a positive outcome at my doctor's appointment today.
1:28
SPEAKER_06: Um, I have a nodule in my left Tata, and it is doing well, it is unchanged, and I'm doing good.
1:38
SPEAKER_06: So all praises be to God for that.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: Amen.
1:42
SPEAKER_03: That's a that's a win, a good win to have.
1:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:46
SPEAKER_03: Um, Cortina, what can we celebrate with you today?
1:49
SPEAKER_03: Um, I don't know, it's always my daughter got a big girl job.
1:57
SPEAKER_05: We're so happy for her.
1:59
SPEAKER_05: It's in her field, and she's caught the eye of not the regional director, but his boss.
2:09
SPEAKER_05: And so um, for all the right reasons.
2:13
SPEAKER_05: Uh so I'm so excited for her.
2:15
SPEAKER_05: She's so happy every day.
2:18
SPEAKER_05: So I couldn't be happier for her.
2:19
SPEAKER_05: So she's just spreading her wings and living the dreams.
2:23
SPEAKER_05: Yes, she is.
2:25
SPEAKER_03: So, and so how do you feel about that?
2:28
SPEAKER_03: Like, really, like, how are you embracing all of this change and the big girl job and just everything that she is doing?
2:36
SPEAKER_03: Because you got to keep in mind this she does a lot because you were her boss.
2:40
SPEAKER_05: So it's so funny because I one thing I do have to tell her, she has to balance because last week she worked 52 hours.
2:50
SPEAKER_05: Mind you, it was the first week of classes, and she has two jobs.
2:54
SPEAKER_05: So she has that, and that was just from her marketing job.
2:57
SPEAKER_05: Her second job is she is a peer mentor for freshman students, so she does that 15 hours a week.
3:04
SPEAKER_05: And so I just have I know she's excited to be making money and everything, but I'm like, you don't want to do so much too soon where you get burnt out.
3:12
SPEAKER_05: So I think being able to guide and navigate her as she charters these working streets and balancing school, I think it's ambitious of her.
3:25
SPEAKER_05: But I also think that she has to be realistic about the expectations, especially once school really starts.
3:32
SPEAKER_05: Like this is the second week of school.
3:34
SPEAKER_05: Um, and so just reflecting on her, because I can be transparent here.
3:40
SPEAKER_05: There was a point in time, I want to say she was maybe early 11th grade, and she was like, No, I don't think I'm gonna go to college.
3:50
SPEAKER_05: And I was saying to myself, God damn it, I should have had more kids because she is really letting me down right now.
3:56
SPEAKER_05: Like, I only got you, girl.
3:58
SPEAKER_05: I you can't break my heart like this.
4:01
SPEAKER_05: If I would have had more children, I wouldn't have had to worry about somebody, you know, letting me down.
4:05
SPEAKER_05: But in seeing her, whatever she puts her mind to, whatever she wants, she gets it.
4:14
SPEAKER_05: Like she wanted to pledge.
4:15
SPEAKER_05: Guess what?
4:16
SPEAKER_05: She did it.
4:16
SPEAKER_05: She wanted this particular housing dorm.
4:21
SPEAKER_05: You know what?
4:22
SPEAKER_05: She got it.
4:23
SPEAKER_05: She was an orientation leader during the summer.
4:28
SPEAKER_05: She caught the eye of certain people, and now she's in a position of where she is.
4:34
SPEAKER_05: And I'm just so blessed that she's not shy, that she is a go-getter, that she is ambitious, she's not afraid.
4:41
SPEAKER_05: Um, and that she takes pride in what she does.
4:46
SPEAKER_05: It just makes me so proud.
4:50
SPEAKER_05: But part of me is like, oh, when is you know, life has ups and downs, and everything is not always going to be high, but I just hope that she's able to embrace this part um of her life.
5:04
SPEAKER_05: So I'm so excited for her.
5:05
SPEAKER_05: And and I just I know y'all see I post every single if she posts something about her job, I'm posting something about her job and reposting.
5:14
SPEAKER_05: And like I put last week, it probably was probably was small to other people, but the fact that her design, her creation is in the restaurant at the university on the big screen on the board, I that just made my heart smile.
5:30
SPEAKER_05: Her picture is on the doors when you're walking down the hallway.
5:34
SPEAKER_05: She does audits on campus where she's just walks behind and makes sure people have on hair nets and make sure people they're actually doing what they are supposed to do.
5:47
SPEAKER_05: She does marketing campaigns, like all of these things that a sophomore just starting, like I'm not gonna say should not be doing because when God's favor is on you, whatever door he wants for you to walk through, that's what's gonna happen.
6:03
SPEAKER_05: That part may be doing this job in as a as a as an intern as a senior or something like that.
6:13
SPEAKER_05: And she's not coming in like on the base bottom level because they incorporate her in the conversations, they take her um what's the word I'm looking for?
6:25
SPEAKER_05: Her ideas and they listen to her and they let her execute them the way that she wants to do it.
6:30
SPEAKER_05: So she's in the room, yes, she's in the room, and that is at the table.
6:36
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
6:37
SPEAKER_03: I will say what I I love about what you said is that I was talking to someone before.
6:44
SPEAKER_03: I was talking to my realtor before, and she was talking about her daughter and how her daughter just speaks things that she wants and she gets them, and and it made me realize a lot of times we are our own demise by how we speak about ourselves to ourselves for sure.
7:02
SPEAKER_03: And the mere fact that everything she wants, she said, I'm gonna walk into this fearlessly.
7:08
SPEAKER_03: If it's going to work out, it's not, if not, I'm just gonna pick myself up and and keep on trying.
7:13
SPEAKER_03: And but the energy that she's always had, and she's all from the time that I've met her, she's always had that go get her energy that she's going to put her mind to whatever it is that she wants.
7:25
SPEAKER_03: And I love seeing her flourish the way that she is, really.
7:32
SPEAKER_06: It's definitely something to be said about that.
7:34
SPEAKER_06: And yes, it is a mind thing.
7:37
SPEAKER_06: And not only does she speak it, but she believes it.
7:42
SPEAKER_06: And and that it's that piece, I think, sometimes is like the disconnect.
7:47
SPEAKER_06: Because, like you said, Ken, we can be our own worst enemy.
7:49
SPEAKER_06: But when name a time when you really said something and believed it, like you were walking through, like, nope, it's already here that you didn't really get it, or it didn't happen.
8:02
SPEAKER_06: It works just like that.
8:04
SPEAKER_06: It really does.
8:06
SPEAKER_05: I'm gonna tell you something that she said.
8:08
SPEAKER_05: So after she didn't know we were getting her a Tesla, she didn't know we were getting her car.
8:15
SPEAKER_05: Just last week.
8:17
SPEAKER_05: Um, so remember my niece had her baby, right?
8:20
SPEAKER_05: So Morgan said she prayed that she had the baby before she went back to school.
8:25
SPEAKER_05: She was just around the house saying y'all wave song and everything.
8:29
SPEAKER_05: She was like, Mama, she said, Oh, I'm praying about it.
8:32
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I'm praying about it.
8:33
SPEAKER_05: The baby's gonna come before I have to go back to school.
8:35
SPEAKER_05: And guess what?
8:35
SPEAKER_05: The baby was born the week before she went back to school.
8:38
SPEAKER_05: And then a week and like three days before she so she got time to spend with the baby, and then later, I wouldn't say maybe like two weeks ago, she was like, Ma, I I pray.
8:48
SPEAKER_05: She said, I pray about everything.
8:50
SPEAKER_05: She said, I was praying and praying and praying that I would get a Tesla.
8:53
SPEAKER_05: And then y'all surprised me.
8:55
SPEAKER_05: I'm getting emotional right now, talking about it.
8:57
SPEAKER_05: Like her spiritual connection and her belief, like she know, like it, you laid a foundation as a parent, yes, but for herself, you know, her ability to be able to say, if I have faith, if I believe in something, it might not come in a package that I think it should come in, but I know what I want, I am going to be able to obtain it.
9:27
SPEAKER_05: And the how powerful that is in such a young mind to be able to go into the world knowing that if I believe, if I have faith, if I'm dedicated and motivated and I believe this, that I can have this because God says I can have that, I think that is so powerful, and something that no one can take away from you.
9:53
SPEAKER_05: I a hundred percent agree.
9:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're gonna double that.
9:59
SPEAKER_03: Um, let's see, what am I celebrating today?
10:03
SPEAKER_03: I have so much stuff going on in my life right now.
10:06
SPEAKER_03: Like, yes, you do, you know, between packing and getting everything situated in in North Carolina and getting stuff situated here.
10:17
SPEAKER_03: But I will say, and I'm gonna count this as a win, and I haven't even not even put this out because it just was something that I had to pray on and I had to make a decision on.
10:28
SPEAKER_03: So this is probably I haven't even made action to it, but I'm gonna count it as a win because I I follow my spirit and discernment.
10:35
SPEAKER_06: Amen.
10:36
SPEAKER_03: So I'm supposed to be in Portland mid-September, and unfortunately, I am going to have to cancel.
10:45
SPEAKER_03: Diane, me and you have been talking about this, and um, this ain't cutting it.
10:50
SPEAKER_03: Um, I had a hard time traveling, and I'm grateful I had my husband with me while we were in Chicago, but it was it's rough to maneuver.
10:56
SPEAKER_03: You don't really know how much you need your limbs until you don't have the mobility of it, and and so I'm gonna I'm gonna count it as a win that I don't I'm hoping that it's not worse than what it probably is, but I I mean I barely have like certain movements, cannot do writing almost, and and and I'm it's a book signing, so I there's no way that I'm gonna be able to do a lot of writing.
11:23
SPEAKER_03: And what I found that even with me writing on like the boxes in here, the the pain afterwards or the pain trying to write because it's it's all here and wrapped around here, around here, and never even heard of tennisinovitis before, didn't even know how severe it can be.
11:43
SPEAKER_03: But apparently, one of the things that could potentially happen, I'm trying, I'm hoping that I just get a cortisone shot, but surgery is potential uh depending on how the severity.
11:54
SPEAKER_03: And so I had to make the tough decision wondering, can I get better by then?
11:59
SPEAKER_03: And I remember, remember when I messed up my pinky and I was in the pinky can for like six weeks?
12:06
SPEAKER_06: It's something about you in that hand.
12:08
SPEAKER_03: No, it's something about this about this hand, but I had to I really had to sit down and make the executive decision to either postpone or but no matter what, I'm not going to be able to travel solo, lift books, do lift luggage, uh maneuver like I would like to independently um for my book tour.
12:29
SPEAKER_03: So unfortunately, this is also why I had to cancel Nashville because I had I had it was an emergency room visit, and they said you're now on handrest, not not even for typing, not for holding phones, not even for yeah, mm-hmm.
12:45
SPEAKER_06: And you need to hurry up and get that quarter zone shot in the interim.
12:49
SPEAKER_03: So the other part is I could not get in with Han Ortho until October 1.
12:54
SPEAKER_03: So I have to call every Thursday to see if I can get in.
12:59
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I know, I know.
13:01
SPEAKER_06: And so y'all don't have a resurgeons up there.
13:04
SPEAKER_06: Oh who do you have resurgeons?
13:06
SPEAKER_03: I'm TriCare honey.
13:07
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
13:09
SPEAKER_06: I want you to research resurgeons, they typically have them everywhere, and you don't necessarily need your refer.
13:17
SPEAKER_06: Well, you have a referral, of course.
13:19
SPEAKER_03: I have a referral, yes.
13:20
SPEAKER_06: They'll get you, they'll get you in.
13:22
SPEAKER_06: They will get you in.
13:24
SPEAKER_06: That's it.
13:24
SPEAKER_03: Depends on the insurance that they take too.
13:26
SPEAKER_03: It depends on the insurance that they take.
13:28
SPEAKER_03: I I would prefer it be in network because x-rays, mri, well, I had x-rays already done, but mri's and anything else, it's costly.
13:37
SPEAKER_03: But I'm just gonna say this I'm gonna celebrate it as a win because I know I'm covered and I'm protected.
13:44
SPEAKER_03: So I have to count it all joy when things don't go my way or things don't go as planned.
13:50
SPEAKER_03: I don't look at it as rejection, I don't look at it as denial, I look at it as protection.
13:54
SPEAKER_03: And so I'm going to, because I I had to pray on it, I said, you know what?
14:00
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna count it all joy, and I'm going to celebrate that as a win.
14:03
SPEAKER_03: It didn't happen the way I wanted to, but it happened the way God purposed it to.
14:07
SPEAKER_03: So I am going to applaud that for myself today.
14:13
SPEAKER_06: There's something to be said about being so in tune with your spirit, right?
14:19
SPEAKER_06: Because I'm not one that does anything that isn't aligning in my spirit.
14:25
SPEAKER_06: Like if I feel um hesitant, like you, you know when you know.
14:31
SPEAKER_06: Let me just put it that way.
14:32
SPEAKER_06: You know when you know.
14:33
SPEAKER_06: When I get those feelings, I have to immediately just say, wait a minute, Lord, well let me let me pump my brakes here and sit down and just think.
14:47
SPEAKER_06: And the crazy part is, Pam, I'm in the same dilemma or almost a similar situation as you right now, with something that is supposed to be happening or that's scheduled to happen in September, but my spirit is not at rest with it.
15:04
SPEAKER_06: And I was just telling someone, like, I gotta take the rest of the week and pray over this first.
15:10
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, and then once I come out of prayer about this, I'll let you know whether I'm gonna pull it or I'm gonna go.
15:19
SPEAKER_06: But yes, I feel like I just got my answer, to be honest.
15:23
SPEAKER_06: I mean, God, you know, He speaks sometimes, sometimes sometimes.
15:27
SPEAKER_03: I mean, we look at it.
15:28
SPEAKER_03: Remember what happened when you when we were all like me, you, Shay, and Denise were supposed to go to Puerto Rico and it didn't happen for you.
15:36
SPEAKER_03: And you said, you know what, it it apparently it was not meant for me to go.
15:41
SPEAKER_03: It wasn't meant for me to go.
15:42
SPEAKER_03: I don't miss no flight.
15:43
SPEAKER_06: Let me tell y'all something.
15:45
SPEAKER_06: I did miss a lot of things, but oversleeping to get to some beach, some sand and some cocktails, Diana.
15:55
SPEAKER_06: Don't do that.
15:55
SPEAKER_06: I don't I don't do that.
15:56
SPEAKER_06: I overslept and miss the flight, and they were like, I think we can just get on the next one.
16:04
SPEAKER_06: And I had to say to myself at first, I was like, Okay, I'm working.
16:07
SPEAKER_06: Then I was like, No, it's not meant for me to go because it was blocked.
16:14
SPEAKER_06: It it was blocked, and so I let it go.
16:18
SPEAKER_06: And I had I still had a good weekend, but that comes with a lot of uh spiritual and emotional growth too, because I could have still, but who knows?
16:26
SPEAKER_06: Sometimes, you know, God will intervene and do things to protect you from things that you really don't even, it could have been anything, you know, yeah.
16:36
unknown: Thank you.
16:36
SPEAKER_03: Oh, heck yeah, it could have been anything, but um, and the last thing I'll say about my you know about my hand is that I I'm thankful that I remember growing up, I've always been very ampidextrious.
16:48
SPEAKER_03: And so it's even though it's difficult, it's not it's not, you know, muscle memory does not tell me to utilize my left hand, but I'm I do know how to do some things.
16:58
SPEAKER_03: I'm like really conditioning myself to brush my teeth with my left hand because imagine how much wrist motion goes into brushing your teeth.
17:05
SPEAKER_03: That's the only hand I can brush my teeth with which with your left with your right hand with my left.
17:11
SPEAKER_03: Oh, really?
17:11
SPEAKER_05: Are you are you left-handed?
17:13
SPEAKER_05: So I used to write left-handed.
17:15
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
17:16
SPEAKER_05: But then when I went to I went to Christian school, and I used to get beat for writing with my left hand, and so I started writing with my right hand, but I do everything with my left hand.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: So you're really okay.
17:32
SPEAKER_03: You're lefty hand.
17:33
SPEAKER_03: I can't write my left hand.
17:36
SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm a right hand person.
17:38
SPEAKER_03: Um, I can write very messily with his hand because the motion.
17:43
SPEAKER_03: Um, and even brushing my teeth is very concentrated.
17:47
SPEAKER_03: It's like I have to make sure because of the motions and the movement, and it's and it's always more comfortable with the right hand.
17:54
SPEAKER_03: So, what I would say to people is as you get older, things just fail.
17:58
SPEAKER_03: I think that we could teach our children how to navigate utilizing both hands so that they for muscle memory that they will at least be able to um do basic hygienic things or basic things like write, brush your teeth, wipe, you know, all of those things because it's important.
18:19
SPEAKER_03: The other thing I would say is the the other challenge I have, girl, washing my face.
18:25
SPEAKER_03: Who would have thought that how much effort really goes into with both hands?
18:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, with the one hand.
18:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so so that that's my only that's my only thing that I will say has been the challenging thing, but it's also been not so not as bad as it could have been, because I've always utilized both hands to some degree.
18:46
SPEAKER_03: So I'm not quite a lefty, but I can do some basic things with my left hand.
18:52
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's good.
18:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
18:54
SPEAKER_03: So for our topic tonight, Cortina, do we have a drink?
18:58
SPEAKER_03: Do we have a drink?
19:00
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
19:02
SPEAKER_05: But I thought you were gonna do the question first.
19:04
SPEAKER_05: Oh no, probably the question.
19:06
SPEAKER_05: I was gonna do the question.
19:07
SPEAKER_05: Because I think the drink might give it away.
19:09
SPEAKER_03: So you want me to ask the question first?
19:14
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so okay, so I'm gonna ask you ladies first, without mentioning your job title, how would you introduce yourself if you did if you if it you didn't talk about work at all?
19:30
SPEAKER_03: You can't give a job title, and someone you walk up, you know, they walk up to you and they say, Hi, how are you?
19:36
SPEAKER_03: and you introduce yourself and you tell you you tell a little bit about yourself.
19:41
SPEAKER_03: What would you say?
19:43
SPEAKER_03: I know what I would say.
19:44
SPEAKER_03: I could start first.
19:47
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so first of all, of course, I'm I'm Dr.
19:50
SPEAKER_03: Pam.
19:50
SPEAKER_03: I am a foodie, a wine lover, a frequent traveler.
19:53
SPEAKER_03: I am hands down a girl's girl.
19:56
SPEAKER_03: I, you know, I love family, I love family-oriented things, and you know, I'm a friend, I'm a bomb ass friend.
20:03
SPEAKER_03: Uh I am that that person that shows up and walks with intention.
20:07
SPEAKER_03: And I'm one of those those children's or those um one of God's children that is highly favored.
20:13
SPEAKER_03: So that's me, that's who I am.
20:18
SPEAKER_05: I thought it was different.
20:20
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so I thought what you were asking was for us not to say what we do, but to like describe it.
20:29
SPEAKER_05: So I totally missed that.
20:31
SPEAKER_05: So I was gonna say a professional tea catcher, because I thought you wanted us to not say what we do for people to guess what we do just based on what we say.
20:43
SPEAKER_05: So I totally missed all of that because that's what I think I am a professional tea catcher or licensed to listen.
20:50
SPEAKER_05: Um, yeah, so oh okay.
20:53
SPEAKER_05: Well, sorry.
20:53
SPEAKER_03: Well then give us our drink then, and then interview listening.
20:57
SPEAKER_05: I did that all the way around.
20:59
SPEAKER_06: Well, you must I'll give mine and then I you can think about it for a second because I just go off the muscle real quick.
21:06
SPEAKER_06: Go ahead.
21:07
SPEAKER_06: Well, hello there, my name's Diana.
21:10
SPEAKER_06: I am a wonderful, excuse me, free-spirited, okay, high-energy, spontaneous, traveling lover, family lover, God-fearing woman, devoted wife, okay, and fur mama.
21:28
SPEAKER_06: And uh yeah, I do all things happiness, peace, and joy.
21:34
SPEAKER_06: How are you doing today?
21:36
SPEAKER_06: I love it.
21:37
SPEAKER_03: And Dr.
21:38
SPEAKER_05: Lewis.
21:39
SPEAKER_05: Well, I am a kind hearted, easygoing, not too serious unless it comes to my job, um, mother of one by.
22:00
SPEAKER_05: Biological and two by heart, um, mom and a firm mom, and someone who loves, loves, loves to eat.
22:09
SPEAKER_05: Oh my gosh, love thrills, um, who enjoys sleeping in slow Saturdays.
22:20
SPEAKER_05: Um what else do I enjoy?
22:24
SPEAKER_05: I enjoy being alone.
22:26
SPEAKER_05: I enjoy what else do I enjoy?
22:31
SPEAKER_05: I enjoy a lot of stuff.
22:32
SPEAKER_05: Um, new exciting adventures and journeys.
22:39
SPEAKER_05: And yeah, I enjoy helping people navigate through the challenges of life.
22:45
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
22:46
SPEAKER_05: Love that.
22:47
SPEAKER_05: All right.
22:47
SPEAKER_05: So then what are we sipping on today?
22:50
SPEAKER_05: Well, so going back to what I thought it was, it was gonna be called um the confidential because my job is confidential.
23:02
SPEAKER_05: And so basically, what this is this is gonna be two ounces of vodka, one ounce of peach knobs, one ounce of cranberry juice, half ounce of fresh lime juice, a splash of sparkling water, and you garnish with a peach slice and a lemon wheel.
23:17
SPEAKER_05: So, what you want to be able to do is combine all of the ingredients in a shaker, shake with ice vigorously.
23:24
SPEAKER_05: You want to have a chilled glass with ice, and then you want to pour all of the contents on top of it, and add your sparkling water on top of that, and top it off with your peach slice or your lime whale.
23:41
SPEAKER_05: Um, so this is a sweet, smooth, and a little dangerous drink that is strictly confidential.
23:46
SPEAKER_06: She said it's dangerous.
23:47
SPEAKER_06: Oh shit.
23:48
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
23:49
SPEAKER_03: All right, all right.
23:51
SPEAKER_03: No, the reason well, the the reason for our topic, which is, you know, is your your job your whole personality?
23:58
SPEAKER_03: And I think me and Diana was kind of talking about it a little bit, is that we often now, I mean, even social media world has become people who are not really those people.
24:10
SPEAKER_03: And it's it's who are you outside of your job?
24:14
SPEAKER_03: And I had to, I had to learn that at one time I was my work, my work was me.
24:20
SPEAKER_03: And once and so I had to learn who I was, and that was a part of healing for me.
24:26
SPEAKER_03: I went to therapy for it because I I knew that if I overcompensated in that area, there's something that nobody can take from me.
24:33
SPEAKER_03: Education, academics, career, you know, all of that degrees.
24:38
SPEAKER_03: Nobody can't take those things from you, however, those things don't define you, and I was allowing those things to define me, and so I was grateful that I slowed down and I got to know who Pam was, and I got to really date myself and still I still love her to this day.
24:59
SPEAKER_03: I'm twice as adventurous, and I don't I don't mind doing things on my own solo.
25:04
SPEAKER_03: I don't need people to make me comfortable, I don't mind silent, I don't, you know, so I can operate in my own joy.
25:15
SPEAKER_03: I don't need people to add that joy to for me or you know to be in my space, but people are because of the energy that I give out because I am so I would say I am self-sufficient, but I but I what I won't do is not fellowship.
25:33
SPEAKER_03: I'm going to fellowship because that's what God said I should be doing, and fellowship does not mean going to church either.
25:40
SPEAKER_03: Fellowship is being around people.
25:42
SPEAKER_03: Man was not made to be alone, so while it's nice and I enjoy my own company, I enjoy the bust out stitch laughing with my friends, with my family, with my husband.
25:57
SPEAKER_03: I just do.
25:58
SPEAKER_03: And so I had to move out of that space of anytime I'm introducing myself and I'm amongst new people where it's not a work environment, I will usually gravitate to work stuff.
26:12
SPEAKER_03: Now I can sit in my own joy and really talk about the things that I enjoy, like traveling and food.
26:18
SPEAKER_03: Um food is something that's important to me.
26:22
SPEAKER_03: But uh yeah, there's so many other things like cooking.
26:26
SPEAKER_03: Uh, you know, y'all, everybody knows on here that I enjoy cooking.
26:29
SPEAKER_03: So those are this is why I said I think it's good to have this conversation because even for me, I've I've kind of been because I've been packing my house, I've zoned out of social media a lot.
26:39
SPEAKER_03: Like I'll get on there and I'll share content, but I don't have time to create.
26:43
SPEAKER_03: But what I am finding is that it's not as fun anymore.
26:49
SPEAKER_03: It's it's everybody is advertising who they are, who they are and who they aren't.
26:55
SPEAKER_03: More who they aren't.
26:57
SPEAKER_03: It's very gossipy.
26:58
SPEAKER_03: And I said, you know, it's hard to tell what's real now.
27:02
SPEAKER_03: Everything is AI, every and so it's not as exciting to me anymore.
27:08
SPEAKER_03: It's and so I I used to go to social media to be social, yeah.
27:14
SPEAKER_03: And so now the authenticity is gone for me because it's like work for everybody.
27:20
SPEAKER_03: Content creating is a job, it's true.
27:23
SPEAKER_03: It is content creating is a job, and but I feel like some of the content is not as genuine as it used to be.
27:30
SPEAKER_03: So, I mean, so what is your lady's take on you know when your job is your whole personality, whether you it's relatable to you or is just something that you um have seen or have witnessed outside of you?
27:45
SPEAKER_06: Well, I'm always the my standpoint is I'm just I'm always gonna be Diana, right?
27:52
SPEAKER_06: Like anything that I do is an extension of me.
27:56
SPEAKER_06: I won't say that was always, you know, especially being in corporate America, wasn't it?
28:01
SPEAKER_06: It was an extension by default.
28:03
SPEAKER_06: Let me put it that way.
28:05
SPEAKER_06: But nowadays, like it's just an extension of me.
28:08
SPEAKER_06: So one thing that you said that really stood out to me is just when you know who you are, right?
28:15
SPEAKER_06: When you know, not what you think you want people to know, or do they know it or should they know it, when you know who you are and you're happy and joyful and peaceful with you, it doesn't really matter.
28:31
SPEAKER_06: You know, like the the social media thing, I shouldn't even I shouldn't say this because I teach different things, but I never really cared for social media.
28:43
SPEAKER_06: I mean, I'm just that's just me personally.
28:46
SPEAKER_06: Like I have never been that person.
28:50
SPEAKER_06: Do I have times when I'm very present on social media?
28:53
SPEAKER_06: Absolutely, absolutely.
28:55
SPEAKER_06: Do I have times when I share personal things on social media, you know, glimpses of the things that I do and places?
29:01
SPEAKER_06: Absolutely.
29:02
SPEAKER_06: Do I share business things on social media?
29:04
SPEAKER_06: Absolutely.
29:05
SPEAKER_06: When I but do I take breaks from social media?
29:09
SPEAKER_06: Absolutely.
29:10
SPEAKER_06: Absolutely.
29:12
SPEAKER_06: Because and I hope don't nobody judge me and kill me in chat for this, but I think it's healthy to do that.
29:22
SPEAKER_06: I think it's healthy to give yourself a break from social media.
29:30
SPEAKER_06: Social media has become a very oversaturated space with a lot of different people doing a lot of different things.
29:40
SPEAKER_06: And I think that it has good pros and cons, right?
29:44
SPEAKER_06: From a business perspective, do I think that um certain social media platforms um I won't say all, but so a certain social media platforms have a lot of revel revalence.
29:58
SPEAKER_06: Did I say the right word?
29:59
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, because you will never see a time where you can actually get free marketing, because really that's exactly what it is.
30:09
SPEAKER_06: It's free marketing.
30:11
SPEAKER_06: You don't have to pay somebody to do this, you don't have to, it's free marketing for you, and a lot of people are doing this.
30:18
SPEAKER_06: People are making money on social media.
30:20
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
30:21
SPEAKER_06: Oh, seriously, they are making very transparent with exactly how they're making that money either.
30:27
SPEAKER_06: They make it that's a whole nother topic, but anyway, yeah, I'm not going down that rabbit hole.
30:33
SPEAKER_06: Um, I would say that no, I just put it out there.
30:39
SPEAKER_05: I I would say, especially like as of late, I I don't I can't think of the man's name, but some man who bashes other men, and he's supposed to have this wife that he has, she just came out and they separated.
30:55
SPEAKER_05: I can't think of the name.
30:56
SPEAKER_05: He seemed, oh, I wish I I think his name.
31:01
SPEAKER_05: No, no, not Dalton and Socco.
31:02
SPEAKER_05: No, I like that.
31:03
SPEAKER_05: No, not even that.
31:04
SPEAKER_05: Because Dalton, he don't be bashing men.
31:06
SPEAKER_05: This is uh she has locks, and they were married, I think, for eight years, and he used to always say, Oh, you need to treat your Mormon like this, you need to do this, you need to do this.
31:18
SPEAKER_05: I know who you're talking about.
31:20
SPEAKER_05: I know, I don't know their name, but I know his name used to have her on there pregnant, doing this thing that he was abusive and all these other things, so everything that he was speaking against, you know, that's kind of like who he was, right?
31:35
SPEAKER_05: And so I I feel like a lot of the people are not very true.
31:43
SPEAKER_05: I feel like, in a way, it's scammy because if what you're putting out and what you are trying, what you're making money off of, you're spamming people because you are putting a life out there as if this is the life you live, but it's not, you're someone totally different, so you know it's really real when people say social media is smoke in mirrors.
32:11
SPEAKER_05: Most of the people will have look at how many people have gone to prison for scamming because they think you think, oh my god, they got it all together, like the lady from Texas, and she had the big proposal down in Miami, and she had the one hand or whatever.
32:28
SPEAKER_05: I can't think of her name right now, but she's in jail right now.
32:31
SPEAKER_05: Oh gosh, it's right on the tip of my tongue.
32:34
SPEAKER_05: But she was scamming people out of their money and stuff like that, and it was like, girl, you had who who sung someone sung, someone famous sung at her Monica, sung at her um engagement.
32:51
SPEAKER_05: It was very beautiful and everything.
32:54
SPEAKER_05: Um, if I keep talking, her name will be.
32:56
SPEAKER_05: I won't be in the knowing.
33:01
SPEAKER_05: Is it Ashley Grayson?
33:04
SPEAKER_05: Um, her, I think her last name is Grayson.
33:06
SPEAKER_05: Look her up.
33:07
SPEAKER_05: Um, but yeah, and so you have all these people, all these real estate, everybody's a real estate mogul, everybody is an investment mogul, everybody is uh is uh expert on relationships and all these other things.
33:23
SPEAKER_05: And it's like, well, it will have somebody who's normal, who's regular, thinking they're not doing enough, have them doubting their own abilities and like, well, damn, everybody else in luxury high-rises and all this other kind of stuff.
33:37
SPEAKER_06: It's it's or if you don't have the perfect marriage or or whatever type of relationship, then there's something wrong with it.
33:52
SPEAKER_05: But even like the job, like they will make you think that your nine to five is subpar mediocre.
34:00
SPEAKER_05: Absolutely, everybody needs to be a business owner, but that's not the reality.
34:03
SPEAKER_05: Everybody being a business owner, the world is not gonna revolve, it's not gonna turn because who's gonna be doing everything else that we need?
34:10
SPEAKER_05: Who's gonna be the electrician?
34:12
SPEAKER_05: Who's gonna be the plumber?
34:13
SPEAKER_05: Who's gonna be the carpenter, the the builder, the contractor?
34:17
SPEAKER_05: Like, we need real-world jobs here, right?
34:20
SPEAKER_05: Everybody is not meant, and everybody has doesn't have a desire to be these things.
34:26
SPEAKER_05: But if you're looking at social media, a lot of people become a slave to the lifestyle, and so when you are separating, like, okay, especially when you get older, you have the awareness to say, okay, that's not always what it's cracked up to be.
34:41
SPEAKER_05: You kind of know.
34:43
SPEAKER_05: Um, but some people, to your point in there, Pam, the question, like, if I feel like I gotta catch up with these fake stuff that I don't believe is fake, I'm gonna be hustling.
34:54
SPEAKER_05: I'm not gonna give myself permission to rest because I'm gonna say, I can rest when I die.
34:58
SPEAKER_05: But you're gonna be hustling and bustle and not give yourself permission.
35:01
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I'm not trying to compete with anybody, I'm not trying to compare my life or myself or my status or what I have to what anybody else's have, because, like we said earlier, if it's for me, it's going to come.
35:18
SPEAKER_05: If I am diligent in what I am doing, and I have to know that God is not gonna, you know, work it like a slave horse.
35:26
SPEAKER_05: So he even rested.
35:27
SPEAKER_05: So if he rested, I should give myself the permission to be able to say, you know what, my body is tired.
35:34
SPEAKER_05: Maybe I'm doing too much.
35:35
SPEAKER_05: Let me take a seat back.
35:36
SPEAKER_05: Let me, you know what?
35:38
SPEAKER_05: Nothing, I'm not gonna back myself up from my goals or my plans because I decide to take a rest, I decide to breathe.
35:46
SPEAKER_05: But some people, you know, they're like, no, I'm not doing enough because of the illusion of what I have to keep up with, what I have to compete against, what I have to do because I'm behind.
35:56
SPEAKER_05: And where's that timeline coming from?
35:59
SPEAKER_05: It's the timeline that you're putting on yourself because Big Brother did not come down and say, You are behind, you should be doing more.
36:06
SPEAKER_05: No, that's your own narrative that you're putting on yourself, and you don't have to carry that guilt that you carry because you're not where you think you should be.
36:14
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes we have to course correct, then we have to go back to the drawing board and say, you know what, I wanted to be here by now, but life happened, and I had to do that for myself because I wanted my master's degree earlier than what I got it, but I got cancer.
36:27
SPEAKER_05: Like, what I'm gonna do, like life happens, so sometimes the plans and the goals that you have for yourself, they have to be amended.
36:35
SPEAKER_05: You have to be realistic about where your life is and and and not beat yourself up or become so self-deprecative where you are like, Oh, see, I knew I went gonna make it, where you demotivate yourself out of what you have been called to do.
36:54
SPEAKER_06: That's right, that's right, because we are our own worst enemy in anything, which I call spiritual warfare, by the way, because it takes place here, because that's the only tactic the devil really knows at the end of the day, is the attacks of the mind.
37:12
SPEAKER_06: But people do that all the time.
37:16
SPEAKER_06: Oh, if you don't do this by a certain time, then that's it.
37:21
SPEAKER_06: That woe is me, it's over.
37:23
SPEAKER_06: It's over.
37:24
SPEAKER_06: I missed my window.
37:25
SPEAKER_06: No, you did not, you didn't miss your window.
37:28
SPEAKER_06: You bet gotta get in tune with yourself, understand, have a discerning ear, and then give yourself permission to be okay with what you need to do in the pace and time in which you need to do it.
37:44
SPEAKER_06: Because everybody's journey is not the same.
37:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sometimes you know, you gotta, in order for that window to open or that door to open, you have to you go through something, yeah, but you also have to let go of some things in order for those things to happen.
38:00
SPEAKER_06: Yep, you gotta let go of some baggage.
38:06
SPEAKER_03: Okay, yep.
38:08
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
38:10
SPEAKER_03: What are you what are you eating on?
38:12
SPEAKER_03: Salad.
38:13
SPEAKER_03: I'm over here eating nuts.
38:15
SPEAKER_03: That don't even sound no unintended.
38:23
SPEAKER_06: Just show us the bag.
38:27
SPEAKER_03: I'm eating cashews and almonds.
38:30
SPEAKER_05: And you know what?
38:31
SPEAKER_06: That sounds good.
38:32
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes people they do chase success and recognition because they're not secure in who they are as an individual, as an individual.
38:40
SPEAKER_05: So I have to get that external validation because I myself don't believe it, and I need that consistent reassurance from outsiders to validate if I am enough, and so being able to learn how to internally validate yourself, external validation is great, but not needing it and still believing that you are enough, that you deserve to be wherever you are, that you can achieve whatever it is that you want to be able to achieve.
39:15
SPEAKER_05: And so if you find that it's difficult to believe in yourself, maybe you have a little bit of imposter syndrome.
39:22
SPEAKER_05: Maybe you're like, oh my gosh, I'm not supposed to be here.
39:26
SPEAKER_05: Maybe you don't have enough determination and drive in your own abilities.
39:31
SPEAKER_05: You have to be able to look at it and say, okay, what do I need to be able to be secure and confident with what I bring to the table?
39:41
SPEAKER_04: Right?
39:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but but also, so let me ask you this.
39:46
SPEAKER_03: Well, let me um I'll make a statement and then ask the question.
39:49
SPEAKER_03: I think that the the definition of success looks different for people.
39:55
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes, but I also think that some people are not willing or ready to do the work to match their level of success.
40:06
SPEAKER_03: Come on, and so so I would say for you know, to just to pose the question, why is it that people look for proof to feel you know to be successful?
40:19
SPEAKER_03: And I'm talking or to to be a good person.
40:21
SPEAKER_03: It doesn't, you don't need proof to be a good person, but if you do something good for people, why does it have to show up on social media?
40:28
SPEAKER_03: Why can't it just you why can't it just feel good to you to do something good?
40:34
SPEAKER_03: Because if people aren't chasing that validation, like you said, right?
40:39
SPEAKER_05: It might not even be sometimes it's validation, sometimes it's attention.
40:44
SPEAKER_06: That part, that part right there.
40:46
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes it's attention because they're attention seekers, and I want all eyes on me.
40:51
SPEAKER_05: Oh, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me.
40:53
SPEAKER_05: I'm flaunting like that, I'm fighting like that.
40:56
SPEAKER_05: You know, you're just trying to put it out there that you can do these things, and it's like, okay, the integrity is what you do when no one's watching.
41:08
SPEAKER_05: I'm not trying to prove to anybody that I have a good heart.
41:12
SPEAKER_05: If I have a good heart, I'm gonna take it wherever I go.
41:15
SPEAKER_05: So the camera does not need to be a part of that all the time.
41:19
SPEAKER_05: Now, I do think it's good to do good things and allow other people, it's like paying it for other people to see that okay, there's still good humans in the world, right?
41:29
SPEAKER_05: You know, but when it's just like all up in your face when somebody is really, really down on their luck, like I don't agree with it because you're showing me at my worst, right?
41:41
SPEAKER_05: And I might not even be in the right mind state to consent to you blasting my face all over social media.
41:48
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes people do, but can if you can do it being shown, can you put that same energy when no camera is around?
41:57
SPEAKER_05: Will you still spend the amount of money that you spending to bless somebody else?
42:02
SPEAKER_05: Will you still help that person when nobody else is watching?
42:05
SPEAKER_05: If the answer is no, and a camera always has to be there, you're doing it for the wrong reasons, and it's not genuine.
42:11
SPEAKER_06: Listen, that is what I be talking about with people.
42:17
SPEAKER_06: Now, I because I be let me tell y'all, and and I don't think I've even spoken about this.
42:22
SPEAKER_06: Y'all remember the big flood that they had in was it Mississippi?
42:27
SPEAKER_06: And and people were sending clothing and all these different things down there for the people and all this stuff.
42:32
SPEAKER_06: I put together a whole drive and sent like boxes.
42:37
SPEAKER_06: Did y'all see that on social media?
42:40
SPEAKER_06: No, people do things because it's just here.
42:46
SPEAKER_06: Everything is not well for me.
42:49
SPEAKER_06: Let me just speak for myself.
42:51
SPEAKER_06: Everything that I do is not for social media.
42:55
SPEAKER_06: Everything is not for social media.
42:58
SPEAKER_06: Even outside of just doing good, right?
43:01
SPEAKER_06: Where is your own privacy?
43:04
SPEAKER_06: Why I will never understand why people feel, and I'm I'm trying, I don't want to make it seem like I'm judging people because I'm really not.
43:14
SPEAKER_06: Or maybe I am.
43:15
SPEAKER_06: I don't want to though.
43:16
SPEAKER_06: I'm sorry.
43:17
SPEAKER_06: I okay, whatever.
43:19
SPEAKER_06: But why does everything have to be for the gram?
43:23
SPEAKER_06: Like do you not have your phone sometime?
43:27
SPEAKER_06: Like, do you wake up?
43:29
SPEAKER_06: Like, I can't.
43:30
SPEAKER_06: I don't do.
43:33
SPEAKER_06: I know I don't understand that.
43:36
SPEAKER_06: There's no element of privacy anymore.
43:41
SPEAKER_06: People want to document from sunrise to sunset and everything in between.
43:50
SPEAKER_06: And I think that from my personal opinion, I think that's a problem.
43:57
SPEAKER_06: I do, I think it's a problem.
44:00
SPEAKER_03: it's a prop individually for people because when this is not there then like you said who are you who are you so i i don't mind like i do i record a lot of content uh i'm i was just recording a lot of content when i was gone this weekend in chicago i haven't really posted as much i've not done a stagnant post i'll put things in my stories but there's a lot that just didn't make it there there's a lot of times i don't have my phone on and if i'm in a group i'm like i hope somebody got some content because i right i i've really learned to just enjoy the moment when we went to jill scott and this is the second time i've had to lock my phone up one when i when jay took me to see maxwell at the symphony they made us lock our phones up so there was you you got to be present and you got to just enjoy those moments i felt the same way um when i took him to see jill scott on sunday it was such a vibe that you can just enjoy the other thing is you can enjoy the person that you are with i've tried i've been trying to be more cognizant that when i am out with jay or my friends unless i'm taking pictures or or things not to always have my phone in my hand unless i'm i'm recording memories and i record memories because i can do you can do what wasn't done in the past to remember people when they're gone amen and have memories when they're gone but just because i take videos and photos does not mean that i'm obligated or i haven't uh you know i should post it online yeah and so i think that capturing memories is fine but you also have you have a a mind you have a mind to be able to have no those nostalgic moments that when you when something happens you get it's muscle memory that you don't even have to go back to your camera to just enjoy and so i i feel like people should get away more and more from having this thing in their hand all the time especially walking in the streets i'm trying to start oh let me tell you a prime example by a car because they're not paying attention exactly that and having in your ear earbuds when i was at the chris brown concert last friday me and to make a were walking after we left and there was a lady we was trying to it's now it's dark and this is Chicago and so we were walking and me and Tamika was trying to figure out where to go and so we were trying to call for this lady while she turned she i guess we she finally did hear us or something or we waved at her and she looked back she pulled earbuds out her ears was like oh did you did you need something we was we was and we asked the question and then me and Tamika walked away and said why on earth would you be walking with headphones in and you can't hear anything that's dangerous that's dangerous yes it could be a stampede right right running up on you behind you something you don't you don't know but it's it's things like that that we have to move away from you know the constant feeling like we have to take you know take pictures or videos or anything else like that although I will say that's why I bought my meta glasses because I don't want I I can be more hands off with the phones and be more and be able to enjoy so yes there are some perks to just having the glasses but I have not I thought I lost them for a minute so I didn't use them for a while but it's again my in my mind now I am more cognizant to show up with and not be a slave to my device and it's made me feel so much better.
47:48
SPEAKER_03: I've done whole almost whole Christmases where I don't have no hardly any pictures unless I've got them from our group chat with my family.
47:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah this weekend um we celebrated Nat Nat's birthday that's why and it was so amazing it was just us you know it was me my mom my sister and my nieces we went out to dinner then we went skating y'all okay it was such a blast and I have just really been enjoying lately being really present like I don't know if it's chapter 50 for me that it's something has changed with with me it really has and it's just I think I was even present on my birthday like I didn't even do a lot of any maybe a very few but it's something to be said yes we're gonna capture moments but those all of those moments all of these different things that it don't get to social media yeah it's for me and my loved ones and my friends also I what I love about like our our friend group I don't know Cortina you didn't even have a phone or got you had to get pictures from everybody from your birthday right yeah so then that was the thing I said let's just take pictures don't worry about nothing we we got you same thing with you Diana you got to enjoy your birthday we just took pictures and whatnot to make sure that you can be present for all the people that you invited so that's one of the beautiful things was let me tell you I don't have a lot of pictures from Belize other than what people gave me.
49:30
SPEAKER_03: I couldn't tell you where my phone was at half the time girl I don't think none of us I don't even remember half the time somewhere sitting on a table somewhere I don't know yeah that's the that's the beauty of just having having friends that want to celebrate you and not feel the need to just let me get stuff content for to post online it's it's not about that it is about being able to record memory so that other the other person can truly enjoy and that's the kind of gratification you you should want from your relationships that's just me maybe we should start recording some content of our late night conversations when we link up because we be like the last we were just talking about that the other day Cortina everybody be in bed and me and Pam be up I told her I cannot mess with her I cannot I get I get no sleep you don't be sleeping whenever she's around I said it's not the point even if I yeah I have the worst insomnia and I work I operate off very little hours however that one it's we we can talk on the phone often and then I don't know why when we get together we just talk late at night about nothing like girl let's go let's go sit down what you doing nothing you going to bed while I was getting ready to now come on let's just go sit here for a second and then turn into you gotta come outside you just gotta come outside with me just for a little while next you know three hours pass by it's 5 a.m and I oh lord I'm going to bed it's like that all the time and it's been that way since we met when we was outside hashtag Jesus uh when we first hashtag Jesus somewhere of hashtag Jesus I got that video in my phone yeah that that was a funny night but that that right there that weekend was our first time connecting I stayed at her house and our relationship has been the same consistent no matter what time it is we are up we are the latest ones up last ones going to sleep and then the first one to get up I go to bed at five she calling me at eight times you up want coffee what ma'am I just left you just left you I just left I'm like well we on vacation so you know we gotta have coffee you we gotta have coffee together I gotta have coffee with her in the morning drinks with her at night I'm like goodness gracious let me sleep and everybody else and everybody else in the friend group just leave I'm going to bed I'm going to bed they be out we'll be like why just stay with us here we go Cortina we'd be like work now yeah cortina be she's she's in bed cortina's out she is always she's like I'm going to bed if I'm not doing work if I can go to sleep oh let me let me let me go to sleep I was so tired one time this is so crazy we was out at Dunchy's brother's birthday celebration at a rooftop bar music going DJ there how about I done fell asleep was you drinking no i was tired i was just so exhausted that's too tired i was so tired i was like i felt so bad so you what was your body telling you you needed to go to the home i was oh my god would i tell you i was so tired so you know what i'm gonna tell you morgan gets it honestly because i know you cannot talk about anybody talking about finding balance and not doing too much girl you do the most all the damn time every time you turn around it's like oh well you know what i had to be you slowed down a little bit and then you pick back up because you was on every every committee every committee opening up at your your noir center you still on 15 committees and then you know doing stuff for morgan school and i was like this is this girl gonna ever sleep no i'll be trying to sleep next and then you slowed down and pulled down then you went into a second business i was like lord have mercy she just never gonna yeah honestly morgan gets it honestly like okay well if you don't listen to your own advice for your daughter well you know the apple don't fall far from the tree i get my work ethic from my mama i guess morgan she get it from my mama honestly yeah yeah yeah well when are you gonna give yourself permission to rest when oh well so i have some trips coming up where we going some really good ones well i'm in uh well my next one i'm gonna i'll be in atlanta for like 24 hours at a wellness retreat but that's not really like like that's work um but i'll be in charlotte um for pam's birthday and then i'll be in atlanta for the nope i'll be in atlanta first nope mm mm lying i'll be in columbia first i'll be in columbia in october um and then the week after that i'll be in atlanta for the 49ers game so columbia the country or columbia country country okay um and then because we leave on our anniversary and then um after that i'll be in charlotte and that's in november and then in february we'll be in law march i'll be in cancun june i'll be in cobbo i don't know what i'm doing july and then we'll be in aruba sounds amazing that's a lot and so you know i'd be i'd be by my work now i'd be like okay one of these days on this trip i gotta well you don't don't uh don't be bringing no goddamn i'm gonna have a rule don't bring no laptops to my birthday weekend you don't only want to do payroll so she ain't gonna have time to do it no way if that's a payroll i gotta do i because i can't pre like force it out because the way the system works it's a Friday to Sunday when you coming in Friday Friday like at 6 a.m or 8 a.m like super early in the morning so i do payroll i have to do payroll on um sunday so sunday before the week we get paid so i would just have to sun saturday or sunday i do it on saturday or sunday to make sure they get paid that week do it on sunday because that's sunday sunday's a rest day well oh so let me tell you about that real quick my flight has changed 15 times has that happened to anybody else i keep getting updates you already booked a flight to charlotte yeah she did she book for get my flight i know that's like like are you four hours away so long i can't drive oh my god girl i book that online i don't care i don't drive on the highway what month are we in we're in august i book i guess in like the end of july i booked my flight yeah she did she was like i'm gonna book my flight just real quick but it yeah like i think it was i don't know end of july early august because you know when it was it was sometime after i shortly sent my thing sent the invitation yeah yep because then i booked it and you was like but you got an rsvp because you told me i needed to go back and rsv she booked her flight but didn't rsvp like who does that and you know and and all of y'all know how how important rsvping is to me oh i love rsp now rsvp is important to me you did rsvp okay yeah i think i just you was one of the first ones to rsvp over over over salt because i don't be remembering what i be doing and and so you know what and so right now it's waitlisted all right yeah so if if people didn't didn't rsvp you didn't make the cut so wait listers can still come you just can't you just gotta get a hotel i mean and i don't even know how many people yet would be able to to stay or fit you know yeah but you know hell halftime we probably fall asleep anywhere well then there's that so what jay gonna do he gonna be there with all that noise no no men allowed no he's not gonna be there oh oh you he's either gonna be he's either gonna be up here or working oh you dang you kicking that man uh dang yeah he's on my house okay I don't even think did I really did I talk to you about that babe yet no he said no I didn't talk to him but yeah he know we sorry sorry he said it's all good he already know he so if there's one thing that he does know he's going to be straight I'm gonna make sure he's good he can he's either gonna be up here or he's going to be working so yeah he don't mind a weekend up here with his friends and family so yeah cool cool but we are at the top of the hour i know it always goes fast goes super fast um so diana where can everybody follow you at at diana richardson philipus everywhere diana richardsonphilipis.com as well all right and dr lewis you can find me at the girlfriend therapist on all social media platforms at smile facilitation services on instagram and at the new i r center on all social media platforms all right and you can find me on all social media platforms at i am d r p g u r l e y i am dr p girly and i always spell it because people never get that right so so they think girly is spelled all kinds of ways except for the way it's spelled uh but you can also follow the Hearse Bration Happy Hour on all social media platforms as well as on Patreon now so thank you for tuning in uh we do get the comments I and and I do see all the love and thank everybody for tuning in but we will be back same time same place next Wednesday all right and yeah like all we always say before we leave up out of here have an amazing week first of all but other than that cheers this is Herspiration's happy hour