Latest / I Do, Part 2 / We Are In A Sex Recession…. Nearly 25% of Young Adults Had NO SEX In Past Year!
Transcript
- 0:02Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Sunday, September 27th, and it
- 0:06Speaker 1: seems the bad news just keeps on coming. We got inflation.
- 0:09Speaker 1: We got gas prices going up. We got the war
- 0:11Speaker 1: in Iran. Eggs cost too much. Beef cost too much.
- 0:13Speaker 1: And now they're telling us we are in a recession,
- 0:18Speaker 1: a sex recession. Oh, couldn't get any worse than that.
- 0:23Speaker 1: And with that, welcome to this episode. Of Amy and TJ,
- 0:26Speaker 1: a sex recession is what we're currently in. But it's
- 0:30Speaker 1: important to note, Robes, this does not apply to all
- 0:33Speaker 1: age groups. We're talking about a particular age group. They
- 0:36Speaker 1: are in a recession.
- 0:37Speaker 2: This is so bizarre. It is the opposite of what
- 0:41Speaker 2: you would think.
- 0:42Speaker 3: Yes, there are two new studies out that show younger people.
- 0:46Speaker 2: literally are not having sex.
- 0:48Speaker 3: And they're certainly not having as much sex as past generations.
- 0:53Speaker 2: And there are actual real concerns because of it.
- 0:58Speaker 1: Robes on its face, right? You having less sex is
- 1:02Speaker 1: one thing. No, no, no, folks. We're talking about this
- 1:04Speaker 1: because they are having so little sex that scientists are
- 1:07Speaker 1: getting concerned of the future of this country.
- 1:10Speaker 3: So there are two studies, the Institute for Family Studies
- 1:13Speaker 3: and Do you buy this?
- 1:15Speaker 2: This is wild to me.
- 1:17Speaker 3: They claim 24% of adults ages 18 to 29 reported
- 1:24Speaker 3: having no sex in the past year. That is nearly
- 1:30Speaker 3: a quarter of adults from 18 to 29 when their
- 1:32Speaker 3: bodies are hot, when they're young, when that testosterone is pumping.
- 1:37Speaker 2: They're not having sex? That is wild to me.
- 1:42Speaker 3: Um....
- 1:44Speaker 1: The headline says one thing, and then you start thinking
- 1:47Speaker 1: about all the 18 to 29-year-olds you know, and what
- 1:50Speaker 1: they're doing, and where they spend their time, and how
- 1:53Speaker 1: long they're in their room by themselves sometimes, and spending
- 1:57Speaker 1: their time. The type, Robes, the headline might be shocking.
- 2:01Speaker 1: The breakdown, you go, oh, this is just the next piece, Robes,
- 2:08Speaker 1: to phones, isolation, social media. It's all ties in. They're
- 2:14Speaker 1: not drinking. They're drinking less. Are they smoking less?
- 2:17Speaker 2: I don't know if they're smoking less. They're smoking cigarettes less.
- 2:20Speaker 1: They're vaping more.
- 2:22Speaker 3: And all of that, what you just mentioned, we'll get
- 2:24Speaker 3: into the whys, but all of those reasons play into this.
- 2:28Speaker 3: But yeah, when you hear that nearly a quarter of
- 2:31Speaker 3: all adults, well, I said not all adults, but young
- 2:33Speaker 3: adults had no sex in the past year, they've been
- 2:35Speaker 3: doing these types of studies. It has doubled from 10
- 2:38Speaker 3: years ago. So that same question was asked. Just 12%
- 2:43Speaker 3: of young adults reported not having sex. So that is significant,
- 2:47Speaker 3: the fact that it has doubled in a decade. Now,
- 2:49Speaker 3: Playboy did a study.
- 2:51Speaker 2: I didn't know Playboy did studies.
- 2:53Speaker 1: You know what? I know this sounds a little crazy,
- 2:56Speaker 1: but Playboy has been responsible for some pretty significant cultural events.
- 3:01Speaker 1: reporting over the years.
- 3:02Speaker 2: Yes, people forget for the articles, I know.
- 3:04Speaker 1: People, that's always a joke. Rose, I could go, I
- 3:07Speaker 1: could find you a ton of significant interviews and whatnot
- 3:10Speaker 1: they've done over the years.
- 3:11Speaker 3: Yes.
- 3:11Speaker 1: They have gotten credit. I know, I know. That's always
- 3:14Speaker 1: the joke.
- 3:15Speaker 3: It is the joke.
- 3:15Speaker 1: But you gotta give them credit. They have done some
- 3:17Speaker 1: good stuff over the years.
- 3:18Speaker 3: Yes, so they also conducted a study. They found that,
- 3:22Speaker 3: and this wasn't even young adults, babe. This was 29%
- 3:25Speaker 3: of respondents overall said they hadn't had sex in the
- 3:29Speaker 3: past three months. 30% of adults basically just haven't had
- 3:33Speaker 3: sex in the past three months at all.
- 3:36Speaker 1: Okay. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't see any issue. Now, scientists,
- 3:43Speaker 1: if they're looking at this over years and seeing a trend,
- 3:46Speaker 1: then that becomes a problem. But the idea, before the stat,
- 3:49Speaker 1: if an adult tells you, what age was this? No,
- 3:52Speaker 1: this was just all adults.
- 3:53Speaker 3: This was just all adults over the past three months. 29%
- 3:55Speaker 3: said they hadn't had sex in three months. And one
- 3:59Speaker 3: in five had never had sex at all.
- 4:03Speaker 2: Wait, of all adults? They said younger, like of the respondents.
- 4:07Speaker 1: These are younger or just all?
- 4:08Speaker 3: They must be younger. 20% had not had sex at all.
- 4:10Speaker 3: Here's the twist, though. That same study, this again, Playboy, 80%
- 4:14Speaker 3: of respondents reported moderate to very high levels of desire
- 4:19Speaker 3: to have sex. So... 80% of the folks who said, yeah, we,
- 4:25Speaker 3: a lot of us aren't having sex, 80% of them really, really,
- 4:28Speaker 3: really want to be having sex.
- 4:31Speaker 1: It takes effort. You do have to put the phone down.
- 4:35Speaker 1: You do have to brush your teeth. You might need
- 4:37Speaker 1: to get a haircut. You might need to coordinate your
- 4:39Speaker 1: shoes with your belt. You might need to do some
- 4:41Speaker 1: things to go out and actually look desirable to somebody else.
- 4:45Speaker 1: Robes isn't, I don't know, I haven't looked. This is
- 4:47Speaker 1: another one of those folks, yes, that Robes tells me
- 4:49Speaker 1: not to look into ahead of time, but does it,
- 4:52Speaker 1: Does that factor into any of this, the effort? People
- 4:55Speaker 1: don't want to put the effort in to doing what
- 4:58Speaker 1: it takes to date and to have attraction and to
- 5:01Speaker 1: become desirable. You're just supposed to, I'm here on my phone.
- 5:06Speaker 1: I swiped. What's the problem?
- 5:08Speaker 3: Right? I mean, I think that people, I would just
- 5:21Speaker 3: say this generation that has only known a phone and
- 5:24Speaker 3: have relied on dating apps, and by the way, they
- 5:26Speaker 3: do say that burnout from dating apps is part of
- 5:29Speaker 3: the reason why people just give up.
- 5:30Speaker 2: They just give up.
- 5:32Speaker 1: Burnout from the apps?
- 5:33Speaker 3: Yep.
- 5:34Speaker 1: You remember when women used to say they were burned
- 5:35Speaker 1: out from dating?
- 5:37Speaker 3: They're burned out from swiping. Now, there is some positive news,
- 5:41Speaker 3: I think, especially for parents.
- 5:42Speaker 2: Can't wait.
- 5:43Speaker 3: With teenagers, the CDC just released its stats. There is
- 5:47Speaker 3: a massive decline in teen sex. And I do think
- 5:49Speaker 3: that that is a good thing. In 2013, how many,
- 5:55Speaker 3: what percentage of teens reported having sex do you think
- 5:57Speaker 3: in 2013?
- 5:59Speaker 2: 47%. That seems about right.
- 6:01Speaker 3: About half of teens in 2013 said they had had sex.
- 6:06Speaker 3: In 2023, that dropped to 32%. That is a huge
- 6:10Speaker 3: decline in teen sex.
- 6:12Speaker 1: We've reported on this and teen pregnancy rates being down.
- 6:16Speaker 2: Yes.
- 6:17Speaker 1: Okay, congratulations. Scientists, schools. Educators, CDC, everybody who has put
- 6:23Speaker 1: an effort into that over decades can see those results.
- 6:26Speaker 1: That is awesome.
- 6:26Speaker 2: That is awesome. That is the good news.
- 6:28Speaker 3: But for grown adults who are fully capable and it's
- 6:32Speaker 3: a healthy thing to be having sex, why are they
- 6:35Speaker 3: not having sex?
- 6:37Speaker 2: Experts say, yes, the burnout from dating apps.
- 6:39Speaker 3: The other thing I thought this was interesting, they say
- 6:41Speaker 3: that this younger generation feels more socially anxious about.
- 6:46Speaker 2: Going out and meeting people.
- 6:49Speaker 3: Shocking that they report feeling this massive fear of rejection
- 6:54Speaker 3: because we know as people who didn't grow up with phones,
- 6:58Speaker 3: they have not had the same kind of one on
- 7:02Speaker 3: one social exposure that we had coming up.
- 7:05Speaker 2: We didn't have apps. We didn't have phones. We had
- 7:08Speaker 2: to go out.
- 7:08Speaker 3: And meet people and engage and get rejected and be
- 7:11Speaker 3: OK with it.
- 7:12Speaker 1: But we get rejected one-on-one. These folks are looking online
- 7:16Speaker 1: and somebody didn't like your post. So, you know, you
- 7:19Speaker 1: got 50 comments. That's 50 rejections. That's nothing compared to you, Robach,
- 7:23Speaker 1: when one dude turns you down. Robes, that part of
- 7:26Speaker 1: it is.
- 7:27Speaker 3: Right.
- 7:28Speaker 1: Human interaction is everything. This is how you learn, baby.
- 7:31Speaker 1: Social cues. How you learn not to throw a fit
- 7:35Speaker 1: when you get rejected. It's a part of it. It's okay.
- 7:38Speaker 1: And you learn. If you never leave your room to
- 7:40Speaker 1: learn that, how can anyone have any idea about sexual
- 7:44Speaker 1: desire if you're not sitting next to someone and knowing,
- 7:48Speaker 1: I like that smell. I like that hair. You know what?
- 7:51Speaker 1: I don't mind that she chews that way. You know what?
- 7:54Speaker 1: I never thought I'd see a woman in jeans like
- 7:57Speaker 1: that that I think was hot. These are things you
- 7:59Speaker 1: figure out in dating. Robed, you're sitting in a room. Man,
- 8:02Speaker 1: I'm horny as hell. I wish I could have some sex.
- 8:05Speaker 1: I ain't going out there to get rejected.
- 8:07Speaker 3: That's what it sounds like. And by the way, we
- 8:09Speaker 3: love Married at First Sight. We love all of these
- 8:11Speaker 3: dating shows. We're watching the newest season now. And you
- 8:15Speaker 3: see these attractive 20-something folks, men and women, both saying
- 8:21Speaker 3: they're afraid.
- 8:22Speaker 2: They have sexual, what do they call it? Intimacy, anxiety,
- 8:27Speaker 2: or sexual anxiety.
- 8:29Speaker 3: And you're looking at these two good-looking, young, robust people,
- 8:32Speaker 3: and you're like, why do you have sexual anxiety? They
- 8:35Speaker 3: haven't had enough experience in the real world. And they're
- 8:39Speaker 3: too afraid of doing it wrong or not, or again,
- 8:42Speaker 3: being rejected.
- 8:42Speaker 1: Is there any suggestion that there's something else contributing to this?
- 8:46Speaker 1: This new generation is not just a matter of phones.
- 8:48Speaker 1: It's not just... I don't know, is it something they're
- 8:51Speaker 1: seeing in media these days? Is it something, I don't know,
- 8:53Speaker 1: TV shows, different types of, I don't know. Is there
- 8:56Speaker 1: anything else they're pointing to other than they're coming up
- 8:59Speaker 1: in a different way?
- 9:00Speaker 2: There's a couple of things.
- 9:01Speaker 3: They said many young adults have moved back in with
- 9:04Speaker 3: their parents, which has now become socially acceptable. They say
- 9:08Speaker 3: it used to be embarrassing, like people would never want
- 9:10Speaker 3: to admit it. Now they're proud of it because it
- 9:13Speaker 3: makes them say that they're financially savvy. A lot of
- 9:16Speaker 3: the kids who have moved back in with their parents
- 9:19Speaker 3: have jobs, have really good paying jobs. And so they're proud.
- 9:24Speaker 3: We've also seen this on Married at First Sight. Look
- 9:26Speaker 3: at me being financially smart. I'm saving my money. And
- 9:30Speaker 3: it's actually almost a flex to say you've moved in
- 9:34Speaker 3: with your parents.
- 9:35Speaker 1: Okay, then you help me here. It's a flex to
- 9:38Speaker 1: say I moved in with my parents because I'm financially savvy,
- 9:42Speaker 1: like you just said. On the other side of that,
- 9:46Speaker 1: is there an indication that for the people who are
- 9:49Speaker 1: out there dating who live in their own homes don't
- 9:53Speaker 1: mind or find it attractive or they don't skip a
- 9:57Speaker 1: beat when I say, oh, you live at home? No
- 10:00Speaker 1: big deal. Is it being accepted as a practice that
- 10:05Speaker 1: might even be attractive?
- 10:07Speaker 3: They are claiming that it does not have the stigma
- 10:10Speaker 3: that it once had. However, it is stopping those folks
- 10:15Speaker 3: from bringing home somebody to have sex in mom and
- 10:17Speaker 3: dad's homes. So that's contributing to The lack of sex because, yes,
- 10:21Speaker 3: privacy issues or just the fact that that would possibly
- 10:24Speaker 3: be embarrassing to have your parents be home while you're
- 10:29Speaker 3: having sex with a girlfriend or bringing a date home.
- 10:32Speaker 1: But no suggestion that it will make someone less aroused.
- 10:41Speaker 1: When they hear that you live at home with your mama.
- 10:44Speaker 3: Obviously, it would be like that for you or me,
- 10:46Speaker 3: but they're saying this generation doesn't mind it as much. Now,
- 10:49Speaker 3: listen to the numbers, too. This is from June 2026.
- 10:52Speaker 3: This is a report in Realtor.com. So for 2025, 25.2
- 11:00Speaker 3: million adults, adults under 35 lived with their parents. That
- 11:05Speaker 3: is a record high since they've been keeping records. It
- 11:08Speaker 3: is the highest it has ever been. 25.2 million adults,
- 11:14Speaker 3: 35 and under live with their parents.
- 11:17Speaker 1: I know you said stigma, but how much of that
- 11:19Speaker 1: has to do with job market and the realities of.
- 11:23Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure that all plays into it, but
- 11:25Speaker 3: they did say a lot of these folks do have
- 11:27Speaker 3: jobs and they wanted that to be, that was what
- 11:29Speaker 3: was different from generations past where you moved in with
- 11:32Speaker 3: your parents because you had to, because you had no
- 11:34Speaker 3: other choice because you lost your job or you couldn't
- 11:36Speaker 3: find a job. This isn't what they're saying. They just
- 11:39Speaker 3: like mom and dad and like to be saving their money.
- 11:42Speaker 3: And obviously they're not having to pay rent rent or
- 11:45Speaker 3: a massively reduced one and they get meals cooked for
- 11:47Speaker 3: them and it just feels good and safe and awesome.
- 11:50Speaker 2: And they don't have to fully grow up. And so
- 11:52Speaker 2: they're not having sex.
- 11:53Speaker 1: There is nothing like mama being upstairs that will mess
- 11:58Speaker 1: up your sex life.
- 11:59Speaker 2: Exactly.
- 12:00Speaker 3: Now, when we come back, we're going to tell you
- 12:02Speaker 3: about some of the other factors to blame.
- 12:04Speaker 2: Some of them are good.
- 12:05Speaker 3: Yes, we mentioned the drinking less part, but experts also
- 12:10Speaker 3: point to what this could lead to long term for
- 12:13Speaker 3: our society. Welcome back, everyone, to Amy and TJ. Yes,
- 12:27Speaker 3: it's official. It's been studied. It's been documented. Young people
- 12:31Speaker 3: just are not having sex.
- 12:34Speaker 1: But you said they want to.
- 12:35Speaker 2: They want to, but they're not having it.
- 12:37Speaker 3: So a couple of the other factors that experts have
- 12:41Speaker 3: looked into as to the why behind all of this,
- 12:44Speaker 3: they say one of the big ones, young people aren't drinking.
- 12:48Speaker 3: They're going to fewer parties. They aren't, that's, and look,
- 12:52Speaker 3: and that's the sex maybe that's like the regret sex.
- 12:54Speaker 3: And so if it's stopping regret sex, that's a good thing,
- 12:57Speaker 3: I would say, because being drunk and at a party
- 13:00Speaker 3: and waking up next to somebody isn't exactly the kind
- 13:02Speaker 3: of healthy sex that any parent would want for their
- 13:05Speaker 3: child or anybody would want for someone they love.
- 13:08Speaker 1: But they make for good stories.
- 13:12Speaker 2: And you learn lessons along the way.
- 13:14Speaker 3: You do.
- 13:14Speaker 1: Robes, this is a part of, I'm not suggesting anybody
- 13:18Speaker 1: run out there and go have some irresponsible sex. No,
- 13:21Speaker 1: not at all. But, bro, there's an experience that some
- 13:23Speaker 1: people do have that leads you to some maturity. It
- 13:26Speaker 1: leads you to.
- 13:28Speaker 2: Yes.
- 13:28Speaker 3: Yes, it's... Some lessons are learned the hard way, but yes,
- 13:31Speaker 3: because there is less of that party mentality.
- 13:35Speaker 2: Fewer people, they think that absolutely has contributed to less sex.
- 13:38Speaker 1: They also... You know what? I'm sorry. On the drink,
- 13:40Speaker 1: is it the drinking or is the social aspect that
- 13:43Speaker 1: comes with the drinking? Are they saying you get loose?
- 13:45Speaker 3: Yes. Yes.
- 13:46Speaker 1: But then they say those people aren't going out anyway.
- 13:48Speaker 3: Right. They're not going to parties. So, like, think about
- 13:50Speaker 3: the parties that we went to coming up. Oh, my God.
- 13:53Speaker 3: The house parties, the basement parties, the parties. They're just
- 13:56Speaker 3: not happening the way they used to. Now, they also
- 13:59Speaker 3: say COVID actually hurt this particular age group significantly because
- 14:06Speaker 3: right at a time when they were supposed to be
- 14:08Speaker 3: developing these social skills, for two.
- 14:10Speaker 2: Years, they were.
- 14:11Speaker 3: It was a pivotal time where you're developing habits and
- 14:14Speaker 3: you're creating... And maybe, yes, experiencing certain things, they were stunted.
- 14:20Speaker 3: Like high school, college, all of a sudden, boom, you're isolated.
- 14:23Speaker 3: And you get into other habits of isolation, of your.
- 14:26Speaker 2: Computer, of being in your room alone, of not going out.
- 14:29Speaker 3: And it just created habits at a pivotal time during
- 14:32Speaker 3: their lives.
- 14:32Speaker 1: You know, I can never keep this straight, so help
- 14:34Speaker 1: me here. The order of these groups. What's Gen Z?
- 14:38Speaker 3: Gen Z is, I believe it's like basically everyone in
- 14:42Speaker 3: their 20s pretty much right now.
- 14:43Speaker 1: Okay. Is Annalise Gen Z?
- 14:45Speaker 2: Annalise is Gen Z. Ava is Gen Z. Yes.
- 14:49Speaker 3: So that 18 to 29 age group. Well, by the way,
- 14:52Speaker 3: here's a good way to look at it.
- 14:54Speaker 2: Sabine is now Gen Alpha.
- 14:56Speaker 3: And she said she missed it by like her birthday
- 14:59Speaker 3: is beginning of January. So the cutoff was December 31st.
- 15:02Speaker 3: So I would say anyone 14 to 30 basically is
- 15:06Speaker 3: in this Gen Z group. And so, yeah, this is
- 15:09Speaker 3: the group that you would expect to be having lots
- 15:12Speaker 3: of sex in.
- 15:13Speaker 2: And so that's why it's so shocking.
- 15:15Speaker 3: And they say that young people are also, and I've
- 15:18Speaker 3: heard this from both of my daughters, report a significantly
- 15:21Speaker 3: less desire to get married, to have families, especially at
- 15:25Speaker 3: a younger age.
- 15:26Speaker 2: Everybody wants to punt to later.
- 15:28Speaker 3: And so that is showing up already in our fertility rate.
- 15:31Speaker 1: Do we know that about regions, right? We are in
- 15:36Speaker 1: the Northeast. And yes, I've always heard that from everybody
- 15:39Speaker 1: I've interacted with since I've been in New York. But
- 15:41Speaker 1: in the South, we still know people getting married very early.
- 15:44Speaker 2: My nephew just got engaged at 22.
- 15:46Speaker 1: Yeah, so I wonder, is it still the way, it's
- 15:50Speaker 1: always been that way, right? The South and certain places are,
- 15:53Speaker 1: I wonder if it's changed.
- 15:54Speaker 3: You and I both got married, both got engaged at 22,
- 15:57Speaker 3: married at 23 from the South. That's almost unheard of
- 16:02Speaker 3: where we live now in the Northeast. And certainly our
- 16:04Speaker 3: daughters are being influenced by that. But yeah, family members
- 16:06Speaker 3: in the South are. Plenty of them getting married young.
- 16:09Speaker 3: Plenty of them. But the fertility rate is dropping. In
- 16:13Speaker 3: just the last decade, we went from 2.1 children per
- 16:16Speaker 3: woman to just 1.6. That is a massive drop-off in
- 16:21Speaker 3: just 10 years.
- 16:23Speaker 2: And it's going to go down further, they believe.
- 16:27Speaker 1: And, look, I mean, reasons for that. What were we
- 16:29Speaker 1: just doing? We just did some episode talking about fertility
- 16:32Speaker 1: rates when it has to do with women who are
- 16:33Speaker 1: waiting longer. Who just had a baby or something we
- 16:36Speaker 1: were talking about. But we were talking about this and
- 16:38Speaker 1: that the fertility rate, a part of your explaining, but
- 16:43Speaker 1: it's also dropping because women have different opportunities. They have
- 16:46Speaker 1: different opportunities in the job force. And science. Medical science
- 16:52Speaker 1: has advanced. They can wait.
- 16:54Speaker 2: They're told they can.
- 16:56Speaker 1: It's possible. Who was it? Just had a baby and
- 16:59Speaker 1: we said we need to make sure this was via surrogate.
- 17:02Speaker 1: We went, Right? You always, because we have so many
- 17:04Speaker 1: of these stories, who was it? Who were we just
- 17:06Speaker 1: talking about? The story was about Millie Bobby Brown having
- 17:10Speaker 1: adopted a second at the age, or a surrogate at 22.
- 17:14Speaker 2: Yeah, she's had her second baby by 22. But we were.
- 17:18Speaker 1: Talking about something I can't remember. Forgive me, forgive me,
- 17:20Speaker 1: forgive me. I thought I was, it was right on
- 17:22Speaker 1: the tip of my tongue.
- 17:23Speaker 3: Well, I'm trying to remember who it is, too, because
- 17:25Speaker 3: I know, obviously, Lady Gaga just had a baby at 40.
- 17:27Speaker 3: That's what we're talking about. Yeah, I think that might
- 17:30Speaker 3: be what it was. We don't know if she had
- 17:32Speaker 3: a surrogate or not because no one ever saw her pregnant.
- 17:34Speaker 1: But as you were saying, it's important in those stories that, yes,
- 17:38Speaker 1: they get out. Oh, my goodness, she's 45 and had
- 17:40Speaker 1: a baby. She's 47. I can wait. I can wait.
- 17:41Speaker 1: I can wait. And sometimes those stories don't come with,
- 17:44Speaker 1: this would be a surrogate, by the way.
- 17:45Speaker 3: Yes, and I would even tell because both of my
- 17:47Speaker 3: daughters have talked about waiting until later, and they'll.
- 17:49Speaker 2: Point to, look at Janet Jackson, who had a baby
- 17:53Speaker 2: at 50.
- 17:53Speaker 3: I even have some friends who had a baby at
- 17:56Speaker 3: 50 and one at 49. And I have to tell them,
- 18:00Speaker 3: just so you know... almost certainly those were donor eggs.
- 18:05Speaker 3: Your eggs are not viable. You don't have the kind
- 18:09Speaker 3: of eggs that are going to produce a healthy baby.
- 18:12Speaker 3: And so I don't think young women are told that caveat,
- 18:15Speaker 3: which actually is a big deal because if you want
- 18:18Speaker 3: to have your biological child, waiting till you're in your
- 18:23Speaker 3: 40s is not a guarantee. You might be able to
- 18:26Speaker 3: still get pregnant, sure, and you might still be able
- 18:28Speaker 3: to have a baby, absolutely, but not necessarily with your DNA.
- 18:32Speaker 3: And that's something I think that gets lost on a
- 18:34Speaker 3: lot of young women. They are surprised to hear that. Now,
- 18:37Speaker 3: how about this? I wanted to end it with this
- 18:39Speaker 3: because I thought this was interesting. The top single reason
- 18:42Speaker 3: in some of these studies that Americans gave for remaining single,
- 18:47Speaker 3: it was not money. And I would think in past generations,
- 18:52Speaker 3: It would be, well, I want to make sure I
- 18:54Speaker 3: get established. I want to make sure I have enough
- 18:55Speaker 3: money before I actually start a family or settle down
- 18:58Speaker 3: with someone. Money is always what people would have attributed
- 19:01Speaker 3: it to. So the top single reason was not money.
- 19:04Speaker 3: It was not jobs. It wasn't even being ready to
- 19:07Speaker 3: be committed. It was, quote, it's hard to find the
- 19:11Speaker 3: right person to marry. Ain't that interesting? That's when I
- 19:23Speaker 3: go back to the apps and the socialization. I feel
- 19:25Speaker 3: like when you think you have so many choices, you
- 19:28Speaker 3: think you're swiping, you're swiping, you're swiping, you think there's
- 19:31Speaker 3: the perfect persons out there or you think there'll be
- 19:33Speaker 3: someone better and you have too many choices and therefore
- 19:38Speaker 3: you can make none. They said it's hard to find
- 19:42Speaker 3: the right person to marry. I think people have high
- 19:44Speaker 3: expectations and false expectations of what the perfect mate looks like,
- 19:49Speaker 3: sounds like, is like.
- 19:52Speaker 1: That's always been the case, though, right? And hearing everything
- 19:54Speaker 1: you were saying, I think, fine. Stop looking. If you
- 19:59Speaker 1: have that, if you literally, you tell me, Rose, and
- 20:02Speaker 1: maybe a lot of people and women in particular do,
- 20:05Speaker 1: you're on the hunt for somebody who fits into An
- 20:09Speaker 1: idea you have in your head. Yep. I'm not going
- 20:11Speaker 1: to go out and find them. I'm going to keep
- 20:13Speaker 1: swiping and swiping and swiping until I find something that
- 20:15Speaker 1: fits that. Then I'm going to go out and have
- 20:17Speaker 1: coffee with them. And it's not going to go well.
- 20:19Speaker 1: Then I'm going to come back here and I'm going
- 20:21Speaker 1: to get online and I'm going to go off about
- 20:22Speaker 1: how terrible dating is. Is that generally how it goes? Yes.
- 20:26Speaker 1: And that's fine with people's experiences. It's a new generation thing.
- 20:31Speaker 1: Knock yourselves out to each his and her own. I
- 20:34Speaker 1: hear it and we just came up in a different way.
- 20:36Speaker 1: We have a different experience, Robes, and I know good
- 20:38Speaker 1: and well how wonderful it is to have a surprise
- 20:45Speaker 1: attraction or excited energy or butterflies that you didn't expect.
- 20:51Speaker 1: Those are experiences we're not talking about anymore. Robes, there
- 20:54Speaker 1: is nothing like walking into a place Seeing somebody at
- 20:58Speaker 1: the end of the bar or somebody that you just
- 21:02Speaker 1: unexpectedly ran into and you get butterflies in a subway
- 21:06Speaker 1: car or just robes. Those are just experiences that I
- 21:09Speaker 1: don't hear talked about when it comes to dating and
- 21:12Speaker 1: sex recessions. And I just swiped and why can't he
- 21:15Speaker 1: do this? Okay, just give it a shot. Just talk
- 21:21Speaker 1: to somebody.
- 21:22Speaker 2: And if you get rejected, it's okay. Welcome to the world.
- 21:28Speaker 1: What is the thing we always, you say it all
- 21:30Speaker 1: the time about preparing the road for the child. All
- 21:33Speaker 1: of these potential daters are trying to prepare.
- 21:37Speaker 2: Wow, that's so true.
- 21:38Speaker 1: Prepare that road. So make sure when I start dating,
- 21:41Speaker 1: there are no bumps, no detours, no nothing. No, you
- 21:46Speaker 1: need to get battle hardened to go out there and date.
- 21:50Speaker 1: You need to be able to recognize from the jump.
- 21:54Speaker 1: In five minutes, this dude ain't for me. Because you
- 21:59Speaker 1: know it because you've been there. You've done that. You
- 22:00Speaker 1: have enough experience.
- 22:02Speaker 3: And you learn about yourself along the way, too. There's
- 22:05Speaker 3: no better way to grow personally, individually, than to experience
- 22:09Speaker 3: life with someone and recognize how we're all so different
- 22:13Speaker 3: and to find those ways of just, yeah, compromise. I
- 22:19Speaker 3: don't think anyone wants to compromise anything anymore.
- 22:22Speaker 1: They're told they don't have to. Because if you do that,
- 22:25Speaker 1: you're in some way giving up a part of who
- 22:27Speaker 1: you are for somebody else. You don't have to do that.
- 22:30Speaker 1: Take me as I am. This is me. What's that
- 22:33Speaker 1: line you say all the time? I'm a lot. You
- 22:36Speaker 1: say it sometimes. When people are this is who I am.
- 22:41Speaker 1: I'm just being me.
- 22:41Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just me. Like, yeah, accept me, take me
- 22:44Speaker 3: or leave me. But like, this is who I am. Yeah,
- 22:46Speaker 3: who you are can be an asshole sometimes. Sometimes we
- 22:49Speaker 3: need to change.
- 22:50Speaker 2: We need to evolve. We always do. But look, hopefully,
- 22:54Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 22:55Speaker 3: This is a wake up call. And we've seen it
- 22:57Speaker 3: in our own kids. I've seen it in some of
- 22:59Speaker 3: their friends. This fear of rejection, this fear of, criticism
- 23:04Speaker 3: this fear of having to compromise and man that all
- 23:08Speaker 3: of those things are what make us human and make
- 23:12Speaker 3: us grow so I hope I hope something changes and
- 23:14Speaker 3: y'all I mean just loosen up have some fun don't
- 23:21Speaker 3: worry so much about the outcome right.
- 23:23Speaker 2: Easy to say hard to do but yep um well.
- 23:28Speaker 3: I just think that this is something that hopefully will
- 23:31Speaker 3: change and won't stay the same.
- 23:32Speaker 2: Things always evolve. And I wanted to put this on
- 23:34Speaker 2: your map, everybody, or on your radar. Always appreciate you
- 23:39Speaker 2: listening to us, everyone. I'm Amy Robach alongside TJ Holmes.
- 23:42Speaker 2: We'll talk soon.