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Happy Hour #206: SMNTY Hyperfixates · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Welcome stuff I never told you productive of iHeartRadio, and
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: welcome to another edition of Half Hour. As always with these,
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: if you choose drink whatever you're doing, please do so responsibly.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: Samantha, are you sipping on anything?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: So I just had my coffee for the day?
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: Long story short, We're doing this very early in the morning,
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: so not very early, but earlier than usual for us.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: So I'm sticking with my bubble water for now, but
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: I will be making a chai latte in a minute.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: So, yes, you know, it's one of those days. What
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: about you.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I am actually drinking coffee. I don't normally drink coffee anymore.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: It's just one of those days, huh.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: It was one of those days. I was telling Samantha,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: my voice sounds a little strange. I've been up sneezing
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: all night. I'm possibly allergic to the neighborhood cat.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: I hope not. Because I love her.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I still want you to take her in.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I want her so badly. She was at my door
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: last night. She was outside my I opened it up
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: and she.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Was just seezing. Did she try to stay there?
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: She did?
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: I happen to know on good authority to people in
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: the building kind of take care of her. And I
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: thought she might cause chaos in my very messy, precariously
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: placed apartment, Like there's a lot of things she could
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: have knocked over. But I did come out and that
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: kind of cat though she doesn't. But cats can get
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: up to all kinds of mischiefs.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: Cat's are independent, Yes, creatures.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: I mean this cat. I think she's got several buildings
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: she goes.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Between, probably like she's so cute though she.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Is, she really is, so I guess it was worth it.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: But I have been up for a long time.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: No sneezing, all right.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: So today, speaking of doing things responsibly, we are going
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: to talk about hyperfixation. Oh yes, So before we get
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: into this, we are not talking about ADHD hyperfixation specifically,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: which is kind of its own thing. Hyperfixation is often
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: associated with ADHD or autism, but anyone can experience it
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: for different reasons. Also, people mix this term up with
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: hyper focus. They are different, they are different things, and
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: people misuse the term a lot. I actually ran into
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: it for the first time a couple of years ago
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: in the fan fiction space, and I've never heard it before.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: But now I see it. I see it kind of
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: often online.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, so we might do a whole episode on this
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: in the future, but today we're going to talk about
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: my very personal experience with it, and I'm going to
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: say I've never been diagnosed with ADHD. A doctor did
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: tell me that he thought I had OCD on but
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: I never got it officially diagnosed. So very basically, hyperfixation
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: is when you have a quote intense focus on a
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: specific activity, hobby, or interest, and that's according to add
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: dot org. It can last for a few hours, days, weeks, months,
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: even years according to some sources, and it can be
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: hard to regulate. It is not always a bad thing,
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: though there are some positives with it, and it is
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: a pretty normal thing that happens to a lot of us.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to talk about my experience, and I
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: think mine is a bit more severe than what other
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: people have, especially when it comes to like the negatives.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: But it can be a very positive thing. It doesn't
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: have to be a bad thing.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: It can be a lot. That's what I'll say, and
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: that's been my experience with it. So listeners, peek behind
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: the curtain. I completely lost track of our meta of
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: where our data sheet. Because I'm the one that's like this,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: this is what we got to do this week, and
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: here's what we're gonna do. And I thought it was
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: supposed to be Samantha's halfy hour this week she did.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: It was a horrible misstep on my part, and it's
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: because I have been hyper fixated on something. I've got
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: like three hyperfixations happening right now, but one of them
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: is very much more severe than the rest. So I
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: feel like I like was in a trance, have been
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: for months, and then I'm trying to crawl my way
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: out of this hole and like zombies keep pulling me
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: back down and I'm like fighting with everything I have
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: let me go. This is a part of why also
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: I start my New Year with Lunar New Years too,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: because I feel like this always happens to me in January.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Plus I have a lot of events in January and
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: this has I have experienced this for a long time,
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  Speaker 2: Like even as a kid, I would just get so
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: hyper fixated on things and it would never or it's
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: not something I choose normally.
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  Speaker 3: It just happens, and I don't know why it's happening
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  Speaker 3: to me again.
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  Speaker 2: And it can feel kind of scary actually for me,
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  Speaker 2: because it does feel like you're not in control of
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  Speaker 2: what it will be, of how intense it's going to be,
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  Speaker 2: how long it will last. It doesn't feel like a
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  Speaker 2: choice I made. It just feels like something happened and
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: now I'm stuck in it. And it used to scare
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: me as a kid, I because it can be so fun,
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: but it just feels like there's no like the control
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: element isn't there. And that's something that, like I said,
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: a lot of people don't have that necessarily, and I
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: actually when I was reading about this, I don't have
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: it as bad as like, I do have some things
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: that I'm controlling about it, which I'll get into in
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: a second. So I do have some boundaries and stuff. Also,
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: it can feel like you're being a trader. I feel
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: all the time it's like I'm cheating on Star Wars
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: or something like, oh no, how could I do this?
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: And so it comes with some guilt. Sometimes. This is
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: something I because I was reading like how it can
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: manifest and this one is a big one for me,
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: and that's sharing excitement. So when I'm talking about like
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: giving a presentation to a friend or writing these essays
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: and wanting to share it.
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: It is.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: I know it.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Sounds really silly, but it is wild to me how
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: much I'm holding back.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: Even with all of that stuff. You have no idea listeners.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: How often in a podcast it's like, do not make
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: this about Star Wars right now, don't do it, don't
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: do it any but.
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: I could do a Star Wars reference right now, a
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: little note just so, but I want you to know
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: I am, which I appreciate.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: But I was reading about it and it was like,
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: if you find yourself randomly inserting this thing into conversations
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: and sometimes derailing the entire conversation, I was like, yeah, yeah.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: So are you sitting there looking at this like going
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: check check.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: This is another research like self diagnosis. Yeah, it was
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: pretty It was pretty telling. It was pretty telling. Another
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: thing is becoming an expert, and usually becoming an expert
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: very quickly, which yes, that is something that I do.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: And it can be.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Wild how you knew absolutely nothing about something and then
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: like a week later, you're speaking in the fanelic that
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: I was talking about in past past episodes, and people
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: are looking at you wondering what you've just said, because
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: it doesn't make sense unless you are hyperfixated. Here's a
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: quote from that add dot org site. When you're jolted
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: back into reality, you may find yourself disoriented by your surroundings,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: like falling out of a trance. It may also take
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: a while to regain your bearings and readjust to real life.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: For some people, anxiety and where it can cause them
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: to focus entirely on something fun like a new video
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: gamer movie to escape real life. Meanwhile, others may experience
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: this phenomenon when they forget to set alarms or reminders.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: This allows time blindness to kick in, making it hard
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: to track how much time they've spent on something. So
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: it kind of can take over your life and it
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: feels like there's always something more to know, like I'm
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: never gonna I mean, I've even said that before. It's
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: like it makes me sad, I'll never know everything there
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: is to know about Star Wars, for instance, And I
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: mentioned recently as a part of how this is manifested,
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I've been waking up at like five in the morning
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: to make time for this because I also have to work.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: But one of the downsides of that can be which
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: is so thing I do struggle with anyway, but this
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: has not helped, is like you forget to eat or
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: something like that because you're so you'd rather do this
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: thing than eat.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: And it can also something that made me.
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  Speaker 2: It's one of the reasons I'm really trying to fight
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: it is because it can make you really anxious about
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: it getting disrupted. And because I do have a lot
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: of events in January and February, a lot of birthdays
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: and stuff. It means like every weekend I have something
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: and I have this immediate anxious thought of oh, like,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: oh that's gonna how am I gonna How much earlier
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: do I need to wake up?
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So that the anxiety element can can really mess
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: up your life too. It can also make you feel
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: like you're not being productive, like you should be doing
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: something else, and that's something that I.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: Have felt as well.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: So there are a lot of reasons why people experience
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: this other than OCD, autism and ADHD. There are some
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: main reasons people may go through this that sounds so
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: it's not necessarily bad, but why you might experience it,
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  Speaker 2: And one is that you are having a lot of
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: anxiety or a lot of fear and I think.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: In the world we are right now makes sense.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: To me, makes sense to me. Depression can also make
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: you more susceptible to having hyperfixation, and then PTSD and
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: trauma also. So yeah, I was checking off some things
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: when I was reading this. Okay, if you are worried
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: about hyperfixation, there are plenty of strategies to manage it.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: A lot of the big ones are things like setting
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: boundaries or time limits, or like setting aside a specific
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: time where you do whatever it is, keeping track of time,
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: because like I said, I feel like I've just woke
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: up on it's February and I don't know what happened
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: to January.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I think it's just the year. And yeah, I don't
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: think it's just that one.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and this is another thing too, is that.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Because you know, we've done episodes about fangirls and stuff
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: like that, and this is different than just liking something
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: and having even being really really excited about it and
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: knowledgeable about it. And uh, but there is they are,
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: they are related, and there are like similarities. But just
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: to say, that's why I think we should come back
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: and do a whole episode, because I do think there's
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: a lot of overlap of this stuff because I, like
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: I said, I've never heard of this before until twenty twenty,
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I think, And it's like, well, I should look into
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: this because something has just happened to me awhere. I
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: feel like I've been at a hole for a month.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know what happened. That whole coming out of
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: a chrance thing really rang true to me. I was like, okay, yeah, so.
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: You're like the montage of where you are sitting and
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: talking to every person about this one singular thing, and
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: you're the one that stands still while the picture around
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: you the scenery changes, and then you're like, oh wait,
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: how did I get here.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Talking to were you?
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: What just happened to me?
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: And I mean, like I said, I haven't it's been
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I think the worst that has happened is I've lost
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: some sleep, I've lost some time, and maybe my meal
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: times have not been great, but it's been manageable. I
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: still have a job I have to do right, and
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: I have people in my life and I'm not going
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: to skip their birthday to like continue by prefixating. So
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: it's just one of those things. I think when you
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: said it was my happy hour, I was like, oh, who, wow,
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: why did this happen? Exactly exactly? There can be kind
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: of confusing and disorienting, but I feel like I'm I
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm making my way out. I think so
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: so that it's more manageable.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm here to help.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I'll be in confusion together.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: That's true because if you didn't know all the wait,
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: I'm not usually on top of this.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: So what I'm usually asking.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: You yeah, yeah in that meta sheet or we're tight yeah,
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: so you.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Need to know you don't have access, so I'm gonna
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: give up.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: To be fair, the metas sheet is what we used
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: to write discreptions and schedule things listeners. It is a
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: pain for us to access it, so I really don't
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: blame you, right.
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: No, every time I try, I'm like, no, okay, well
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: I've put in a good three minutes.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I'm done.
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: That's the limit of how many times because it's not
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: gonna get locked out of everything.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, I'm oh, yeah, yeah, still having tech
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: issues after all this.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Time, you know, but you're doing wonderful. I'm proud of you. Wait,
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: way to be here.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Thank you show up for early. After that, a whole
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: lot of sneezing. Yeah, I didn't even get to hype
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: er fixate.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: No, you can't later later, it's still a workday. Well, listeners,
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: I would love to hear from you.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: If you have any thoughts about this or any other
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: topics related to it that we should talk about, let
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: us know. You can email us at Hello, Stuff I
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Never told You dot com. You can find us on
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: blue Sky at mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and
• 14:29
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• 14:31
  Speaker 3: We're also on YouTube.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: We have some merchandise at comp Bureau, and we have
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: a book you can get wherever you get your books.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Thanks as always too, our super produce Christina, our executive producer.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: My and your conturder Joey.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Thank you and thanks to you for listening. Stuff I
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Never Told You This s picture by Heart Radio. For
• 14:43
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