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Transcript

It’s Friday I Choose Love (Not Hate) · Friday I'm in Bed

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Hello, welcome to Friday. I'm in bed.
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Podcasts for midlife women living their best life while in
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bed by 10. This week on Friday, I'm in bed.
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We're starting with a Charlie XCX conversation that won't go
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away, where she was told she'll probably want children when she
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meets the right man. Because apparently when a woman
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says she doesn't want kids, it's just a holding statement.
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We're asking why people still don't believe women when they're
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crystal clear about their choices, and why it always
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circles back to a hypothetical man who'll fix it.
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Then we get into the rise in mental health struggles for
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women in their late 40s and early 50s.
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Yes, menopause is part of it. Hormones matter, but so does
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decades of emotional labor putting everyone 1st and quietly
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holding it all together. We're unpacking what's
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biological, what's societal, and why midlife women are often
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expected to just power through. And finally, the Super Bowl.
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The half time show, the Bad Bunny moment, the cultural
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spectacle. And the adverts in between, from
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AI to GLP 1 weight loss drugs popping up in prime time slots.
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We're asking what it says about where we are right now and
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whether that level of pharma marketing during the biggest
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show on earth feels normal or not.
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Autonomy, mental health and the most watched TV event on the
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planet. Grab a cuppa, let's get into it.
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Hi Kate, trying really hard not to use my word my weird voice
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today and I'm failing miserably. Hi.
1:25
How are you? Hi I'm.
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Great, how you doing? It's wet and miserable and I'm
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very tired because I stayed up to watch the Super Bowl.
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So I we can, we're going to talk about that later on.
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But I saw a thing yesterday where apparently it's rained
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somewhere in the UK every single day in 2026.
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And that, that tracks, to be honest.
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I'm like, yeah, that feels very 2026.
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I think that might be the vibe we're going into the year with.
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I know there's a place, isn't it?
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I think it's the Southwest. It has rained there every single
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day. So yeah, just imagine.
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And with before we know it, there'll be a drought,
2:00
obviously, because there'll be a hose pipe ban.
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But that's, yeah, that's how it is right now.
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So are you. I'm OK.
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It's been a mixed bag of a week. I've been busy as ever.
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My son had a gig on Thursday night and he had a gig on Friday
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night, so I was busy going out. It's been, yeah, highs, you
2:22
know, that Super Bowl, as you said, there's been loads of
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like, funny things happening. Like funny is probably not the
2:29
right word, but you know, like the Bad Bunny performance, that
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loads to think about and love. And it's, it's also been, it's
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also been a bit of a tough week, really.
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I think the news is just so depressing and so triggering.
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And yeah, it's kind of. A week or two hours, feeling,
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like really positive, but then also just feeling really quite
2:49
down about everything. How about you?
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Yeah, I get you. My anxiety is through the roof.
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I have terrible anxiety, and that's one of the reasons that I
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don't read the news very often. But it's like, literally
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inescapable at the moment. Yes.
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I'm so anxious. It's one of the reasons I was
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late today because, yeah, instead of doing all the things
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I had to do this morning, I decided that my time would be
3:08
better spent doom scrolling, which is not ever a good use of
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your time. Just to be clear, I did go to
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Reformer Pilates on Monday night, which is a new thing I've
3:17
started doing, which which helps.
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It's very humbling, I know. Have you done Reformer?
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I haven't because obviously I've had surgery and stuff and I was
3:26
like not well before that, but. The kind of, I'm a real yoga
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Bunny and I've been doing yoga since I was like 18.
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And some of the yoga classes I went to and, and Pilate classes
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were on machines. So I kind of, I don't know if it
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was exactly the same as it is now.
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And obviously it's exploded now, but you know, I've done lots of
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things similar to that. And I used yeah, it is humbling
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and it uses muscles that you didn't realize you had.
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But I also because I used to be so good at it 20 years ago that
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when now I do anything like that, I get AI know you
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shouldn't. I get a little bit frustrated
3:59
for myself. My body can't quite do what it
4:01
used to be able to do and. You know what, I'm exactly the
4:04
same. I would love to have known how I
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would have done it this in 2019 before, you know, all of the
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cancer broken back drama. But yeah, for the for now, I'm
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like, there's nowhere to hide because you're in a room with
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like 7 people on a massive machine.
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It's not like you can put your mat at the back and hide in the
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dark. It's yeah, my legs are like, oh,
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what are we doing? So yeah, but I'm going to keep
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going. I'm going to keep going.
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I'm not giving up. I'm going to be amazing at
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Pilates on a reformer very soon. Just you wait.
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It's not cheap though, is it? That's the thing that worries me
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if I'm going to get really into it and then I'm going to have to
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get, you know, a small loan and paint.
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Take out a second mortgage. Yeah, Yeah.
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OK. Well, don't.
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Don't let me have my thing. Part ALDI.
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I bought a. Pack of credits.
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And once they're gone, we'll see where we are.
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Absolutely. But last year, I think it was
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ALDI or Lidl sold a reformer machine.
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It sold out like that morning, like everybody just bought them.
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And I know people that went and bought them and then they, they
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do it in between at home and like, so you know, maybe that's
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the way forward. Yes, that's that's that's
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lovely, Kate. But you know, I don't know where
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I'm going to put my shoes in my house, let alone a reformer
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machine. So I'll keep I'll keep that one
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on the back burner for when I buy my first mansion, OK?
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Anyway, anyway, we should probably talk.
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About some more depressing things, so.
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Let's go into it. So first thing I want to talk
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about today, because this is very much a me thing, is Charlie
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XCX. So she was on the Smartest
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podcast, which I know because I just looked up a podcast with
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Jason Bateman and some point they asked her about did she
5:51
want children? And she said no.
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And Jason Bateman then went on to do the just classic that
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everyone in the world has ever done when you say you don't want
6:01
children. The first up was why?
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Like everyone has to be asked that apparently, like if you
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say, oh, yes, I do want children, no one says why I am
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going to start doing that. But then he did the classic, oh,
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you'll change your man, your mind when you find the right
6:15
man. And she was like, well, I'm
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married. So.
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But I thought it was a good one to discuss today for two
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reasons. One of them is because you have
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children and I don't. So it's always like a nice, you
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know thing when we can discuss that that difference.
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And the other one is is it ties back into some of the stuff
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that's going on here at the moment.
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I think recently there was AI think it was a 2023 blog post by
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reform candidate that has resurfaced in which he suggests
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that women should be taxed more if they choose not to have
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children. And because I don't know, we're
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a drain on the state. No idea.
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But yeah, that was one of his suggestions.
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And these were supposed to be ways to encourage people to have
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children. So.
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So rather than going for things like paying people fairly,
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having decent maternity and paternity leave, they went, I
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know, let's punish people who don't.
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And there's been other things as well.
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There was some kind of suggestion in the USI think
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where they were going to send unmarried people without
7:15
children off to like marriage camps or something, which just
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sounds horribly. But anyway, there's been a lot
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of this kind of stuff going around recently, like in some
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kind of return to the Handmaiden's Tale kind of world
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that we're apparently now living in.
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So I didn't, I didn't want children when I was a teenager.
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I certainly had my fair share of elderly relatives telling me I
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changed my mind when I got older and I I never did obviously as
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I'm sat here at. How old am I?
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46. Have to take that through.
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I'm sat here at 46 and the only thing I've got is 2 pugs which
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are behind me right now. So you do have children?
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So did you always want children? No, I don't.
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I don't think so. I'm not naturally maternal,
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let's say, let's put it that way.
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As in, you know, I think when I was younger, as in teenager, did
8:13
I dream of like having a family and things.
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I, I don't recall any of that. My dreams were about travelling
8:21
and I don't know, reading poetry and doing art like, you know,
8:25
like, you know, and actually, to be fair with a man, you know, I
8:29
often most of the time did have a boyfriend, you know, but I,
8:32
you know, my, I think my aspirations were more career
8:35
focused, but not necessarily like big career, just, you know,
8:38
being creative and I'm going to as many gigs as possible, which
8:42
to be fair, I still do. But did people ask me about it?
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I think it is. So I got married at 23 and I
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know definitely people started asking me, you know, when was,
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you know, I think it's that natural, natural next question
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for people of a certain age to ask.
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So definitely like in 1996 when I got married, it was like, Oh,
9:04
you're going to have children next.
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That was expected. But I, I didn't want to.
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I was just focused on my career and I was young.
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I was like, I don't, you know, I don't, I don't want to.
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And I'm quite surprised. Well, I'm not surprised.
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I always say things like, I'm surprised, but I'm not really
9:19
surprised. But I'm annoyed is the word that
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that like, so the older generation in the 90s told me,
9:27
you know, you want kids, but I can't believe we're still saying
9:30
that. I think, you know, when I grew
9:32
up, of course people said that to us in our 20s.
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I mean, our entire existence was about having babies apparently,
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you know, like, you know, and that was the expectation in the
9:43
80s and 90s, but we're in 2026. It's quite shocking that we we
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are still asking that question. I think.
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I do think a lot of people just make an assumption that that's,
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you know, the way your life is supposed to go.
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You know you even if you go to university, you get a.
10:02
Job. You beat a husband, you get
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married and then you have children.
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It's not kind of considered that you're just going to crack on
10:09
with your career for the rest of your life because then you'll be
10:12
horribly selfish, obviously, obviously.
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But yeah, so I do think it's very much an assumption.
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And I do think that personally, obviously, I don't know.
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But I do think that there is an element in some people where
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they have children and they don't really give it any
10:24
thought. They just assume that they're
10:26
going to have children. So it might not be like a strong
10:29
drive that they want to have children.
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They just have this kind of assumption that that's what's
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going to happen. And I don't maybe they're never
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taught to question that assumption.
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Yeah, that's, that's the kind, that's the kind of feeling I got
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sometimes when people are just so surprised that they have to
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ask why. Like there has to be a reason
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not to rather than a reason to have children.
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That's the that's the thing that always gets me.
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Like that's why I think I might start asking people why when
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they tell me I've got kids. So why?
10:55
Why did you have kids, Kate? She obviously had yours a bit
10:59
later. Let me tell you, as I said, it's
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not it's not anything I really thought about.
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My first husband did want children, but I think I just
11:08
avoided the conversation. And I was, I had my career and
11:12
we were young and we didn't have any money and, and actually, I
11:15
knew I wasn't married to the right person.
11:17
So we're going to ask this is going to circle back to their
11:19
finding the right man thing. But I, I didn't want to have
11:22
kids with him, but I didn't really want kids either.
11:24
You know, maybe I would have felt differently if I was head
11:27
over heels in love with him. Who knows?
11:29
But I do know that when we split up, his friend came round who is
11:34
electrician. He came out to do some work and
11:37
he said, oh, do you think you'll ever have kids, Kate?
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And I said, well, yeah, I think I probably will want one day.
11:44
And he said, oh, that's, you know, that's so sad, isn't it?
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Because when you had the ex-husband, you didn't want to
11:50
have children. And I said, well, is that little
11:53
bit telling that now I'm thinking maybe I will now that
11:56
he's gone. But also, I think I actually
11:59
didn't properly think about it until I filled outthematch.com
12:06
form when I went online when I met my husband.
12:10
Current husband, final husband. Sounds like it's going to be
12:15
another one. All of those things sound awful.
12:19
The form said basically, obviously this is before Tinder
12:24
where it's literally swipe, swipe, swipe, visual, visual,
12:26
visual. You had to have a whole document
12:29
about yourself and it asked you specific questions about, you
12:32
know, what your likes were and dislikes and non negotiables and
12:35
all sorts of things. And and one of the questions was
12:38
kids. And you had to say no way
12:41
someday or like yes, you know, like it was kind of like they
12:46
were the three options. And I thought, I'm going to have
12:50
to because I actually do want to meet somebody.
12:52
I'm like, ready to find somebody to share my life with and I'm
12:56
not having any luck around here. Let's, you know, open the pool a
12:59
bit wider. And so I actually thought about
13:01
the question and I wrote yes, I think I'm pretty sure I wrote
13:05
yes. And I know my husband, this was
13:08
the first time he had thought about it too.
13:10
And he wrote someday maybe or something, I think.
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So we, you know, we but we both hadn't said no.
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And I and I realized at that point, anyone that has said no,
13:21
definitely not, I didn't want to meet.
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And that was a bit of a oh, I was about 35, think 35 ish.
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So yeah, that was the first time I'd actually gone.
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Yeah. I think I do want children.
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But I wonder if that was also about the checking clock, you
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know, the whole thing that we're fed that you have to have
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children. You know, your latest window of
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opportunity is like 35 to 40. Obviously, we know people do
13:50
have children in their 40s. But I think we've, again, maybe
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this is a Gen. X thing, an age thing.
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We've really been fed, you know, TikTok, TikTok, 35 years old,
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you know. Thank you.
14:00
Mind up now? No, my no clocks have ever
14:05
ticked. I just, I literally just never
14:07
saw having children as part of my life.
14:09
I wasn't sure like when I was going to when was I going to fit
14:12
that in? I got stuff to.
14:13
Do like you know I'm? Going to have children, I have
14:17
to literally put everything on hold.
14:19
And yeah, I mean, it's not even like I, you know, my career as a
14:23
lawyer was going to suffer. I just like, thought, Oh my God.
14:27
I mean, it's bad enough having dogs and you can leave them at
14:29
home on your own. Sorry guys.
14:33
So I just like, yeah, I do find it.
14:35
They say I'm a bit sad really, because now you're basically
14:38
telling me you met the right man and now you want children.
14:40
Well, I well, but did so that sort of tick the box that
14:46
actually went, yeah, I think I do.
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It wasn't like, yeah, I absolutely want them now, but it
14:50
was like, yeah, actually I think I do.
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And he had done the same. He'd gone.
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Yeah, I kind of think I do. I think.
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And we're both 35 years old. And then six months later, I got
15:01
pregnant accidentally. So that's not New Year's.
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If my son's listening, he knows this.
15:06
This isn't a revelation. But I do know deep down that if
15:12
I hadn't have got pregnant at 35 1/2 or 36, whenever you want,
15:16
you know, about that time, would we have sat down and gone?
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Sure, we have children net like, I don't know, because we were
15:23
having so much fun and we were travelling and I hadn't really
15:27
wanted children. So I don't know if I'd of, you
15:30
know, had that conversation. I don't know.
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So. So Fate was written for me on
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that one. So you don't think there's any
15:39
truth in the adage that you'll change your mind when you read
15:42
the mic? Meet the right man.
15:45
Well, it it haven't. Well, no, because I didn't.
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Well, did I choose? Yes, I suppose I did choose
15:49
because you still have a choice when you get pregnant.
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I think you may know that you don't want them if you're if you
15:54
know you're with the wrong person.
15:56
Maybe it's more about that I knew I was married to the wrong
16:00
person and I knew I didn't want to do lots of things with him,
16:03
to be honest. You know, like there was a lot
16:07
of things I didn't want to do with him and actually I knew I
16:10
needed to not be with him. So maybe it's more about, you
16:13
know, when you absolutely, I don't know.
16:15
I mean, I think it's ridiculous to think it's all just linked to
16:20
having a the perfect man. I think that's that's the bit
16:23
that's like, yeah. I had a thought and it
16:26
disappeared. They do that a lot.
16:27
My thoughts, this is blame it on lots of things.
16:30
Yeah. So I, I kind of, I find it funny
16:33
that having children is this, this is.
16:36
And whether you make the decision to or not to is this
16:39
massive thing. I also find it, considering
16:42
we've got such a population explosion and everything, I do
16:44
find it weird that they're so constantly trying to persuade
16:49
women to have children as well. It feels very much to me, and
16:53
this is probably partly because the decision I made very early
16:56
on in my life. It feels like a method of
16:58
control that if you persuade women that this is the thing
17:03
that they're going to do and that they have to do, and then
17:05
you offer them incentives or punishments for not doing it,
17:08
depending on who you're talking about, that, you know, it's,
17:11
it's, it's a little way of keeping them under control.
17:13
And we all know that no, no one's sitting around going, how
17:15
should we control women today, though?
17:18
Maybe they are, like I said, I'm questioning everything in my
17:20
life right now on conspiracy theories, But it does feel like
17:24
that that's that it is a way to control women.
17:27
I don't, I don't know, I just never felt like it was something
17:30
I wanted to do, but just I, and I do still think that a lot of
17:34
people just kind of like fall into it, which doesn't seem like
17:37
the right way to bring children into the world to me, which is
17:43
again, I would feel like I'm being really awful to people
17:45
because no problem, like fine, if you want children, have
17:48
children. Please, I don't care.
17:50
Like also don't bully me into having children.
17:53
There's a lot of talk about falling birth rates and stuff at
17:55
the moment. We have an awful lot of people
17:57
in the world. So so maybe birth rates are
18:00
falling and that's going to be a good thing.
18:02
And I know that there's discussion about we need people
18:04
to have children because of future economy and who's going
18:06
to look after the elderly people and stuff like that.
18:09
But I think I've said this before, I don't feel like that
18:12
that should be placed on individual people.
18:14
It might be a population wide thing, but it shouldn't be that,
18:17
you know? Well, if you don't have
18:18
children, think of the world Go I.
18:20
Recycle. I think I'd love to know.
18:24
Well, I know the answer, but you know, like you get married, you
18:27
do. This all the time.
18:28
Yeah, I have. To know, but actually, you know,
18:30
why aren't people asking men, you know, Are you looking
18:34
forward to being a dad? You know, you can have a baby
18:36
now, the two of you. I'd love to know from any men.
18:41
Have they ever been asked that question?
18:43
Because it's obviously very gendered.
18:45
And I think that's back to the annoyance that we're still
18:49
seeing women as our only role in life is to give birth and, you
18:55
know, is to have babies. It's so narrow thinking.
18:59
Obviously we are the ones that can have babies.
19:02
Obviously that's biology, but it's so narrow thinking that
19:07
that right now that that's all we bring to the party.
19:10
I think, you know, in the is, for example, our role was very,
19:14
very much about being the homemaker and being the mother.
19:17
But that was a long time ago. And yet still, you know, we're
19:23
expected to work because we we want to, but also we have to
19:29
because financially most people can't live off 1 salary.
19:33
Yet we're still kind of expect to be a mum as well.
19:37
And it's kind of like I'm. Very stay at home and work full
19:41
time. I know and do everything.
19:44
Yeah. I mean, I do think that's a big
19:47
thing. And again, when we're talking
19:48
about if they really want to incentivize women to have
19:51
children, you know, but also you need to make it affordable for
19:54
it to be a single income family or you need to provide childcare
19:59
for people that is unpaid. And they, you know, they're
20:01
talking about like the benefit system and like being able to
20:03
cut down people's benefits and stuff and yet still encouraging
20:06
people to have children regardless of whether it's
20:08
affordable. So ridiculous.
20:10
Well. I mean, as you said, you know,
20:13
give me my red cloak and white hat already, you know, although
20:16
I'd be nice colour, I'd be sent off to the colonies anyway, so
20:21
that's, you know, I do. Think that this leads quite
20:23
nicely into our next topic as well.
20:25
So I just get like finish off when you're when you're talking
20:28
about not being able to survive without a 2 income family and
20:32
therefore women having to work. Or, you know, the the husband
20:36
and wife, mum and dad, man and woman who have produced a child,
20:40
both of them having to work and bring in cash in order for them
20:43
to actually survive as a family. You know, you're talking about
20:48
that kind of stuff. It also then doesn't consider
20:51
all of the emotional labour that tends to fall on women as well.
20:55
That being the ones that book the kids doctor's appointments,
20:59
even if dad then takes them to the appointments and that kind
21:02
of stuff. So I think we will discuss that
21:05
in our next segment. Oh look at me, I'm so
21:07
professional with my little Segways.
21:09
Yes, so, and I think before we move on to that one, the
21:13
generation bit is so key because obviously Jason Bateman, I don't
21:17
know how old he is. My age I suppose, I presume.
21:21
Yeah, come on, you're you're so quick at Googling, I'm sure he's
21:24
in. His I am.
21:25
It's my skill. Google Foo.
21:28
I'm sure he's in his 50s and so he's 57, pardon, 57.
21:33
So he's a Gen. X man talking to a Gen.
21:36
Z woman. I think she's Gen.
21:39
Z, just, I think, I don't think she's an annual.
21:42
And she's classic, you know, older Gen.
21:44
Z and she's like, I don't want kids.
21:46
Like there's such a divide between those.
21:49
The expectation of our generation was definitely to
21:52
have children and the younger generations just are
21:56
unapologetically going. I don't actually think that's
21:59
what I want. It's also worth saying that, you
22:02
know, she's also young and successful and got a lovely
22:05
husband and she's like, really happy to do.
22:08
She's 33. She was born in 1992.
22:10
So what that makes her like? On the cast to that.
22:13
Yeah, like geriatric Gen. Z or something.
22:16
Look, if we get geriatric millennials, then then we get
22:19
geriatric Gen. Z, Yeah.
22:20
And also geriatrics, geriatrics, mothers, pet pregnancies.
22:25
Anything over like 35 or something, that's what they call
22:28
it. I mean, wow.
22:30
Thanks. Yeah.
22:32
Oh, God, I've got so much more I want to say on this now.
22:34
We're running out of time. When you said geriatric
22:36
pregnancies, that suddenly reminded me when I was diagnosed
22:39
with cancer at 41, nobody asked me if I'd been considering
22:42
children. But a friend who was, like, in
22:44
her late 30s was then offered the option to freeze her eggs
22:47
and stuff. So they don't ask you once
22:50
you're past a certain age. That's maybe that's a whole new
22:53
topic for another time. Anyway, oh go there.
22:55
Example of women being told what to do with their bodies.
23:07
Before we start the next topic, I'd like to just start with a
23:09
trigger warning. In this segment we will probably
23:13
be talking about suicide and eating disorders, so if you are
23:16
affected by any of this, you may want to skip to the next
23:19
section. And we will also add support
23:23
groups and numbers into the show notes for you to get any help if
23:26
you need it. So the next topic is an article
23:30
from The Times called middle-aged Women face Mental
23:34
Health Crisis in Silence. So it's an article has come out
23:39
about how women in their late 40s and early 50s are struggling
23:44
silently. For many of us, this is no
23:47
surprise, and the Times are writing it as if it's just been
23:51
discovered. Although all talking about this
23:54
is really, really useful. So they refer to the fact that
23:58
we are perimenopausal or menopausal, and you can have a
24:02
lot of psychological symptoms. It's depression, low mood,
24:07
anxiety, rage, all those kinds of things, as well as just
24:10
struggling with no sleep, memory lost, you know, all of the
24:13
symptoms in menopause. It's a time where divorce is on
24:18
the rise. It peaks in, in the UK anyway,
24:21
in the early 50s for couples divorce.
24:24
Often that's because there's just a relationship breakdown,
24:27
obviously. But also quite often the partner
24:31
of the menopausal woman looks at them as if to say like you've
24:35
changed and it all breaks down. But sometimes also when women go
24:40
through menopause, often on the other side, they look at their
24:43
relationship and go, I need something better than this.
24:47
But also, this is a time when you might be struggling with
24:49
grief. Obviously, we're looking after
24:51
aging parents you might have lost in your life.
24:54
And research does show that suicide peaks.
24:58
The age group of the highest amount of suicides for women is
25:02
late 40s. And also eating disorders are on
25:05
the rise in late 40s women, particularly with, like, body
25:08
changes that happen in menopause.
25:11
So the article is basically sharing this information and
25:15
also talking about how women are going through this and we're
25:21
going through it without talking about it.
25:23
Obviously it's something I know because it's what I do.
25:26
It's what my whole purpose with my Instagram and everything is
25:28
about getting women to understand what's happening and
25:33
do something about it. They also talk about the other
25:39
stuff that women are going through.
25:41
So all of the above, all the things I've just listed, but
25:44
also as you've already alluded to, the silent labor, the
25:48
invisible labor, the parenting, the looking after parents, the
25:51
life admin, the housework, the cooking, but also working.
25:58
You know, ageism in the workplace is rife.
26:02
Your boss not understanding your menopause and how it's affecting
26:05
your job. All this stuff is just, it's
26:07
like it's becoming huge and we so often women, this is put
26:16
ourselves last. So we are the carer, the
26:19
nurturer, the doer. We get all the.
26:22
Shit done and our needs are just pushed aside resulting in
26:29
feeling lost, alone, isolated, invisible.
26:33
But what would be great is to talk about that and also talk
26:35
about our experiences and how women can get help.
26:41
And and before we move on to that conversation, I just in
26:44
case I forget to say it, want to say that we do know that when
26:50
women are through this period and really post menopausal and
26:56
really have any symptoms that are left under control, they
26:59
find this period of time, potentially in their 60s, really
27:03
freeing. They leave their job, they do
27:06
the thing they wanted to always do.
27:07
They travel, they they start a little business or big business,
27:11
they leave their relationship, you know, so there is hope,
27:15
there is good stuff ahead, but it's just kind of getting
27:19
through this period is really, really fucking tricky.
27:26
You want an intro then Just made me feel quite emotional.
27:29
I thought I was going to be like, fine, but it's just made
27:31
me feel quite emotional because is this therapy?
27:37
I work with women day in, day out on this very topic.
27:41
It's, yeah, so upsetting, but so needed.
27:45
So I've always been, I don't know, you know, there's all
27:49
kinds of I also know that a lot of women in there, when they
27:53
perimenopausal or menopausal, then get diagnosed with what has
27:57
previously been undiagnosed ADHD and stuff as well.
28:00
So I also know that there's kind of a lot of that going around.
28:03
Yeah. I spend a lot of time going.
28:05
Are you sure we can't diagnose ADHD by meme?
28:10
Seems like a valid. Way to me.
28:12
But I've always been a very in control and organised person.
28:17
I can remember sitting in a minibus with my role in Derby
28:21
team on the way to a thing and we were going around deciding
28:22
what everyone's ideal job should be and apparently I should have
28:25
been. Someone's Pai was like in
28:26
control of the world, like if we needed.
28:29
We're just going to sort it out. And obviously my experience of
28:34
menopause and perimenopause has been very different to most
28:37
women's because of my cancer treatment at the age of like
28:40
4041. So I was kind of pushed over the
28:43
edge at at an age when everybody else was going gradually into it
28:45
and I'd had no menopausal symptoms before.
28:47
My mum went through menopause very late.
28:49
In fact, my, I don't think my mum, my mum went through
28:51
menopause when she had hysterectomy.
28:53
So but so technically same as me, I guess straight off the
28:57
edge. But yeah, so I was, I was very
29:00
much in a different experience than that.
29:02
But chemo combined with menopause, you know, people say
29:07
chemo brain and then you also have like, you know, menopause
29:09
brain. You imagine all of those things
29:11
in a big massive fog. I completely lost that kind of
29:14
organized. I never had a diary, paper or
29:17
otherwise. I literally had everything in my
29:18
head before. And it's so it's only now in
29:21
these last few years, I realize how much of my life I've spent
29:25
being the organizer and how many times I have conversations with
29:29
my husband where he goes, when is this happening?
29:32
And I go, I have no idea. I'll have to get my diary.
29:34
It is in the calendar. And you know, we have a shared
29:36
calendar. And it's not his fault because
29:38
I've done that my whole life. I've gone, well, next week we're
29:41
doing this. And at 10 AM, this is happening.
29:43
And you know, I have the list and I and I manage it all.
29:45
And it's only been since I haven't been able to process all
29:48
that information in my brain that I realize how much I had
29:51
been doing it previously and how much the pressure it puts on me
29:56
trying to keep doing it now because it's become like a
30:00
routine. But you know, I'm going to do
30:04
the shopping list and arrange for the shopping to be delivered
30:06
and then figure out the schedule for tomorrow.
30:08
So to make sure we can get everywhere.
30:10
And we are in the process now of trying to make sure that that's
30:13
a more equal split. I don't have to remember all
30:16
this stuff. And that there's there's other
30:18
jobs like, you know, making sure the dogs get their medication
30:20
ordered and stuff like that, that can be taken over so that
30:23
it's not more pressure on my plate.
30:25
But it has been really hard kind of trying to deal with that and
30:29
all the other things and like, you know, physical changes and
30:31
emotional changes and just, you know, dealing with the fact that
30:35
apparently I have incurable cancer.
30:36
That's, you know, that's a nice extra layer on top of, on top of
30:41
all the shit. So yeah, your, your little intro
30:42
there made me surprisingly emotional.
30:44
I was a bit like, Oh my God, no. Well, I think I talk a lot about
30:49
generations and Generation X Obviously that's a big part of
30:52
what I talk about, but I'm so much of this is generational.
30:56
So our mothers and grandmothers, whilst they will have
31:01
potentially suffered or not suffered, obviously some people
31:04
have symptoms, some people don't.
31:05
Generally speaking, they didn't work and we were brought up by
31:12
these women who told us you can do anything.
31:16
You know, like we were brought up by second wave feminists who
31:19
were, well, I was definitely was.
31:21
You know, you can go out and you can do whatever you want, Kate,
31:24
you can have the best career. You can be anything you want to
31:27
be. But societally we were still
31:30
told we had to have babies back to the last conversation and
31:34
also also be the the homemaker and the provider and to, to run
31:39
the home. So all of us Gen.
31:42
X women are now hitting menopause doing both of those
31:47
things, whether it's whether it is parenting or not parenting,
31:50
you're still running the house. So the invisible labour, having
31:55
the career and being everything you ever wanted to be and
31:58
menopause, the people before us didn't have that.
32:02
And I'm hoping the people below us lower, you know, coming
32:06
through won't have that because the message isn't so much, even
32:10
though it feels like it kind of is still, but it is less.
32:13
You have to be the homemaker. It is.
32:15
You don't have to have kids. You can do what you like.
32:18
You know, it's you could be whatever you want to be, but you
32:21
don't have to be the homemaker as well.
32:23
So I think it is very much a Gen.
32:25
X thing right now, but that's. Not to take that away because
32:29
it's happening right now. Yeah.
32:30
Well, I guess I do think that it's been an unrecognized thing
32:34
before for women. I mean, you think about the the
32:37
way Valium used to be handed out to women like sweeties and like
32:39
mothers, Little Helper and stuff like that.
32:41
So I think, I think that there is, you know, a previous history
32:44
of that being a thing. But again, it's something that's
32:46
always been treated as as pathological that women are
32:50
going through this and therefore something that needs to be
32:52
medicated and treated rather than there being a societal
32:55
answer to it. That maybe other people in the
32:58
house should be doing more. Or that, you know, you can't
33:01
actually have work as a lawyer and run the whole house and like
33:05
take the kids to school and and it's too hard and someone needs
33:08
to help. Oh, absolutely.
33:09
Women in the past struggled, but they didn't work quite like we
33:14
have. Been in the same way, yeah.
33:15
Yeah, and I. Think it's that it's that kind
33:18
of the use of drugs and stuff as well.
33:20
I think there's always, there's this thing because obviously we
33:22
know that suicide rates are higher in men than they are in
33:24
women. Women don't tend to talk about
33:26
their emotions and problems more than than men do.
33:31
But I do think that there is a side of it that women don't talk
33:34
about and that kind of, they might talk about their emotions
33:36
and how they feel, but not talking about the fact that it's
33:40
because they're using all this extra emotional labour and that
33:45
kind of thing. Oh my goodness, there's a M
33:47
Clarkson, I don't know if you follow her, when she's and Alex
33:50
Light, who have both had children and had real problems
33:53
with morning sickness. And it's women that are going
33:55
are going up. Stop making such a fuss.
33:57
Women have been going through this for years, you know.
33:59
So I think that there is that little bit of we might talk
34:02
about our emotions more, but there's some aspects just
34:05
assumes that that's just what it is to be a woman and that we
34:08
have to just suffer through it. And therefore women don't talk
34:11
about those things. And it can then become
34:13
overwhelming. And then that's when you see
34:15
that the article alludes to that.
34:18
And we know that it's it's we put ourselves last.
34:21
Because we're so busy running the business, doing the job,
34:24
running the house, being a parent, looking after of our
34:26
parents, you know, just doing all the stuff.
34:29
And it's that old adage of when you're on an aeroplane and it
34:32
says, you know, you put on your oxygen mask first before you put
34:36
on your child's one. And even that as a parent seems
34:39
ridiculous because not ridiculous as it, it's correct.
34:43
But I know that I will save them first type of thing because that
34:48
is just how it is. And that's the problem, isn't
34:53
it? So we're not actively getting
34:55
help for ourselves. It's also worth saying, and this
34:57
is really important and it's not mentioned in the article is we
35:00
also know women go to the doctor presenting with all these
35:03
issues. And obviously you need to be
35:06
checked. You know, you haven't got
35:07
something else wrong with you. But nine times out of 10, it's
35:10
menopause. If you're like 49, you know, if
35:12
you're in that age back and it but it's women are still getting
35:15
like, oh, have some antidepressants and on, on, off
35:18
you go. So we're not treating women.
35:20
We're not listening to women. Please don't.
35:23
Please don't get me onto inequalities in women's
35:24
healthcare. Right.
35:25
This is like, we've got like another 5 minutes and we were
35:30
talking about women's mental health crisis.
35:32
Not that. So my advice when I'm speaking
35:34
to women is obviously you need to talk about it.
35:38
Obviously whether that's to a therapist, a doctor, a friend,
35:41
your partner, a stranger, you know, Samaritans, etcetera.
35:45
You know, But I think what's really important, and it's
35:48
something I've talked about quite a bit is around we need
35:52
men to understand menopause. It's so easy.
35:57
There's a lot of like menopause, aging, ageism, but actually, if
36:02
you think women don't understand menopause, imagine what a man
36:06
understands about menopause. And obviously I'm talking about
36:09
heteronormity of relationships here, but we need the men in our
36:13
lives to understand. That's the word I was looking
36:16
for earlier on when I was talking about having children,
36:19
thankfully. Oh my God, that's.
36:21
So the men in our lives, so our dads, our husbands or partners,
36:26
our sons, our brothers, then the more men understand what's
36:30
happening, like my husband, when his friends or work people, you
36:35
know, are moaning about their wives and how they've changed
36:38
and how Moody they are and or whatever, you know, the usual.
36:41
He says, well, she sounds like she's perimenopausal.
36:44
How old is she? Do you know about the sip?
36:46
And this is my husband. My son has on a number of
36:50
occasions put his hand up in class and and talked about
36:54
menopause. Or when the teacher starts
36:55
talking about menopause, he says you need to follow my mum on
36:58
social media and everyone gets their phone.
37:00
Amazing. Which is amazing, but the point
37:02
is, is relationships breakdown and and women, we suffer alone.
37:07
And it's funny, you know, you said about we don't always share
37:11
our emotions. People are men are going on all
37:13
the time at how emotional we are.
37:15
But actually we don't. We bottle it up, just get on and
37:19
look after everybody else. And we need to start talking
37:22
about it and we need to start talking about it with the men in
37:24
our lives so they can support us and understand it.
37:28
And yeah, if they don't. I think that's important
37:31
because, yeah, we do talk about, you know, things men do a lot
37:34
and you're going to go not all men, but I don't think, I don't
37:37
think it's men's fault if they don't tell you what they're
37:40
feeling. You can't know.
37:41
And if you don't tell them what you're feeling, then they can't
37:43
know. This is if that's the situation
37:46
that you're in, then you need to discuss what can be done within
37:50
a relationship like that to to help.
37:54
And I mean this that I mean, the the same would go for like a
37:57
same sex relationship. Do you know, I mean, this is
37:58
just literally how relationships work.
38:00
You have to, you have to talk about what you're going through
38:03
because as far as I'm aware, I am watching The X-Files at the
38:07
moment. So as far as I'm aware, people
38:10
aren't actually psychic. And if they, if they are, it's
38:13
very rare. So, you know, if you don't talk
38:15
about it and I think then then they're not going to know just.
38:20
Even if you can't discuss the boundaries that you need with
38:23
your partner and your family, start to make them so.
38:26
I am the human walking diary. I am the social calendar manager
38:31
of the Beavers family. And to be fair, I am because I
38:35
am, you know, I am here. I have a diary.
38:37
I am really organ. I'm the most organized person in
38:39
the house. And that's not because I'm a
38:41
woman. I just am organized.
38:44
But I have now bought a calendar.
38:47
It's on the side of the fridge and everything's on there.
38:50
And my new response to anything anybody asked me is look at the
38:54
calendar, Look at the calendar. I don't know.
38:56
Look at the calendar. My son, because he's planning
38:58
gigs and stuff, he'll send me a text and he's like, what are we
39:00
doing on the 23rd of March? I'm like, I don't know, you need
39:04
to look at the calendar when you come home.
39:06
Literally, that's all I'm saying.
39:08
But slowly people are going and looking at the calendar and even
39:13
picking me up when or picking each other up when things aren't
39:15
written on the calendar. So I'm like, this is working.
39:19
One thing has been taken away from me.
39:21
But obviously that's a small thing if you're really
39:24
struggling with your mental. Health, but I think the more you
39:27
can start looking after you and just setting yourself, I think
39:31
sometimes if you catch that and set those boundaries early, it
39:34
can prevent it can help, you know, if you can catch that
39:37
early, it can stop that kind of slide into having having real
39:41
problems. Like I say, it was a shock for
39:42
me because I'd done it and then it was kind of sudden that I
39:45
suddenly went into just not literally being able to cold
39:47
this stuff in my head anymore. And why do I have to be the one
39:51
that goes and looks for my calendar?
39:52
You know, so that's changed that that, but it take obviously
39:56
takes a while. But yeah, I do think it's really
39:58
important to, if you feel like you've gone past the, the, the
40:02
setting boundaries and discussing it period, that you
40:05
discuss it with some, with a professional.
40:07
Of course. Always.
40:09
Without a doubt, one of the things I spend time with women,
40:12
I talk about what did you want to do when you were a teenager?
40:18
Like what was the vision? What was the thing you wanted to
40:20
be, you know, when you grew up or what's the thing you've
40:23
always wanted to do and you've never had time?
40:25
Write it down and start to work that into your life.
40:30
So it could be, oh, I always wanted to like I always loved
40:34
painting. It could be I always was
40:37
painting and and drawing as a teenager.
40:40
When was the last time you did that?
40:42
35 years ago. OK, so why don't you buy a
40:45
sketch pad? You know, and for I always, I
40:47
used to customize my own clothes.
40:50
I used to sew. I haven't sewed this forever and
40:52
a day. And then last year I bought a
40:54
sewing machine and I'm just starting and I, you know, I'll
40:57
be like, I'm going to have a project on the go.
40:59
And I think it's that bit about what do you want with your life
41:05
that you currently don't have? And I think people often think
41:07
it's massive things, but it's just like, I always wanted to be
41:10
a florist. I did always want to be a
41:11
florist, so why don't I even just go on a flower arranging
41:15
course? I know that sounds so banal, you
41:18
know, just so silly. It doesn't know in the way of
41:22
like obviously versus big stuff, you know, but but it's just
41:27
about putting that oxygen mask on 1st so that when you're
41:31
through it, when you've got help from your doctor, you know, get
41:34
your symptoms under control, talk to your partner, you know,
41:37
all this stuff. But when you're through it,
41:40
wouldn't it be amazing if you know, you're 55, you're 60, you
41:44
know, and actually you paint all the time.
41:47
And in fact, you travel and you go and paint in a in Greece.
41:51
I mean, all those things, you know, that Shirley Valentine
41:53
thing, you know, that we were brought up with, we kind of
41:56
forgot all of that. And now you're in the middle of
41:59
it. And it's also, it's terrible
42:01
right now. But let's just start thinking
42:03
about once you can sort out your symptoms, what's.
42:06
Next, where do you want to be when you come out the other
42:08
side? Where do you want to be when
42:12
you're 60, Gemma? Let's end on that.
42:14
Alive. I think that's.
42:15
Sorry, I don't have the cheerful answer to that question.
42:19
But I think that's a valuable valid to you, but also it's
42:23
really to everybody like let's live your life and.
42:28
Also, yeah, I mean, that was the reason I said alive was a real
42:33
kind of knock to me. And that's something I'm doing.
42:35
I'm going to Morocco at the start of May.
42:36
I've never at start of March. I've never travelled kind of,
42:39
I've never been a big traveler. But I went to Croatia last year
42:42
on my own. I'm going to Morocco on my own.
42:45
I'm yeah, I am doing those things.
42:47
So I do think that that is really important to find.
42:49
Find your joy, absolutely. So finally, I want to talk about
43:00
the Super Bowl, which is kind of, yeah, a weird thing to talk
43:04
about, you know, when we're in the UK and it was on at like,
43:06
midnight. But obviously it's been the
43:09
hugest talking point this week. There's been so much going on.
43:13
The Super Bowl is the world's biggest cultural moment, and
43:19
this year it was particularly so.
43:22
There was a lot of controversy. I'm going to say first, I did
43:25
stay up and watch it and I stayed up till the end and I put
43:28
a bet on, which I do every year on loads of stuff I don't
43:30
understand and I'm 16 quid up, yay.
43:35
So there was a lot of controversy even before it even
43:37
started because in MAGA America, choosing a Spanish language
43:42
artist, he's been very outspoken about it as the half time show
43:48
in the form of Bad Bunny was controversial.
43:51
So then they decided to layer on to that by having, I didn't
43:54
actually, I don't actually know who the people were that sang
43:57
the national anthem and America the Beautiful.
44:02
I don't actually know who they are.
44:03
I'm really sorry, I'm terrible. But apparently I think one of
44:06
them was gay and they've both been very outspoken about stuff
44:10
and also choosing Green Day to open the show.
44:13
So there were then a lot of very controversial choices.
44:16
And there was this. Charlie Kirk's Turning Point USA
44:19
ran the alternative one with some the incredibly awful for
44:24
years. Kid Rock.
44:25
So yes, it was controversial before it even started.
44:28
And then I watched it. I was disappointed not to see
44:31
Green Day. I could hear them playing in the
44:32
background, but apparently they did pull their punches a little
44:35
bit. I have heard that they missed
44:37
out some of the more controversial verses of some of
44:40
their songs. So they did sing them because it
44:41
was American Idiot that I heard in the background.
44:43
And then Bad Bunny's halftime show actually happened.
44:47
And I'll be honest, I feel like I really needed it.
44:49
I spoke earlier on about kind of the anxiety and that show was
44:55
just like, I mean, I've seen somebody else say this, but it
44:57
was when people say things like joy is resistance, that's what
45:00
they mean is it was just an absolutely joyous show.
45:04
Some people really got married in the middle of it.
45:06
There were people dressed up as grass who will been sharing
45:09
their videos on social media, which is like absolutely
45:12
amazing. It was just happy.
45:15
And it's one of the best halftime shows I've seen in
45:18
years, without a doubt. And I wasn't, I don't really
45:21
follow music, sorry. I know you're there with all.
45:23
You love it, don't you? But yeah, so I didn't really
45:26
know who he was before the show either.
45:28
But yesterday I was sat here listening to Bad Bunny, really
45:30
enjoying myself. So that happened.
45:34
And then the final thing that everyone's talking about,
45:36
because we all know, I hope, that buying an ad spot during
45:41
the Super Bowl is incredibly expensive.
45:44
I think they were like $10 million this year or something
45:47
absurd. And some of the ads were
45:50
controversial this year. I think that there generally
45:53
isn't a lot. Americans are used to having
45:55
pharmaceuticals advertised to them, everything, you know,
45:57
blood pressure meds like, you know, But this year they're not
46:01
very often in the Super Bowl. And this year there was an ad,
46:07
and I'm going to say it's very carefully because it was an ad
46:08
for GOP ones, but it wasn't actually an ad for GOP ones.
46:12
A lot of people are saying that it was terrible because that's
46:15
what it was advertising and that it didn't mention the side
46:17
effects. And my understanding is that if
46:19
it had been an ad for GOP ones, they would have had to mention
46:23
the side effects. What it actually was, was an ad
46:26
that used a loophole in the law. And they are offering a weight
46:29
loss service for which a prescription to whatever they
46:33
think would be the appropriate GLP one for you is going to be a
46:36
part of it. So that's quite an important
46:38
distinction because it is something that's happening in
46:40
the UK as well. So that's a lot to.
46:42
Talk about in 15 minutes what? Which one should we start with?
46:45
Should we start with Bad Bunny? Because you, you did know him
46:49
and you've watched that show, and it was amazing, right?
46:53
First things first, Bad Bunny is the most streamed person on the
46:56
planet. I know.
46:58
Like I say, I don't. Know anything about music?
47:01
OK, this is just not my thing. Where you been Jamal?
47:05
I'm going to say my daughter is obsessed.
47:07
She is going to marry him. Apparently she is obsessed.
47:10
Bad Bunny is so cool as well. And not only is he like
47:15
talented, his fashion is unbelievable, like Met Gala.
47:20
He always turns up in the most flamboyant, beautiful.
47:22
He's amazing. So we are very much teen Bad
47:25
Bunny, even though it's not really my kind of music.
47:28
Green Day is that we'll come on to them in a second.
47:30
The halftime show was brilliant. To be fair, the halftime show is
47:34
generally brilliant. What I loved was we all
47:37
expected, almost hoped, I think, for it to be political because
47:42
if you're left-leaning, you wanted him to, you know, we were
47:46
expecting him and I think all Americans were expecting him to
47:49
be, you know, anti ICE and talking about immigration and
47:52
things things. But to come out and just talk
47:55
about love and have people getting married and you know,
48:00
the only thing more powerful and hate is love and God Bless
48:02
America. I love America and then list
48:05
every single country in America was iconic, but also so clever,
48:14
so clever. It was entire.
48:17
It was fantastic, Yeah. Really, really well thought of.
48:21
And there was things within it that were amazing.
48:23
Lady Gaga, amazing Lady Gaga wearing a Puerto Rican designer
48:28
and other key people wearing Puerto Rican designers.
48:31
There were small businesses that were actually like, like little
48:34
market stall holders that were actually small business.
48:38
Tonita, who was he runs a bar. I believe that.
48:41
So, yeah, yeah, actually in, you know, small businesses.
48:44
So the whole thing was so clever, so inspiring, so
48:47
amazing. The only thing that I would say
48:51
that I was disappointed with was he was wearing Zara.
48:54
And I think he had such an opportunity to wear a small
49:00
independent Puerto Rican designer.
49:01
But that's my only thing, I think.
49:04
Why are you wearing Zara? Because obviously it's a.
49:06
Spanish. Brand.
49:08
They are a Spanish brand, but they're also very well known for
49:11
Child Exploitation on developing countries, so it was a bit for
49:16
me. Interesting choice, maybe, yeah.
49:19
Yeah, it's a bit like Zara. Don't really need the bigging up
49:23
but amazing. Then there was Green Day.
49:26
So Green Day. Yes I stayed up to watch Green
49:28
Day. I didn't stay up to watch the
49:30
whole thing. And yes, Channel 5 chose not to
49:32
show it, so I being me live streamed it on TikTok.
49:36
To do I wish I thought of that. Because that's how I work.
49:40
And what it appeared was, was they had, yes, they, they, they
49:44
sang American Idiot and other songs and they only sang the
49:49
sections of the songs that didn't have mega agenda or
49:53
redneck agenda in for example. However, what I am hearing on
49:57
the land of TikTok is that that's what was televised.
50:01
The people that were there said they actually did more, but it
50:06
was not televised. So that's infrastructure.
50:09
However, there's also the thought that some people were
50:12
disappointed that they weren't mega political.
50:15
But I also read things like which is this is really a good,
50:18
a good thought is that it was Bad Bunny's show and it's they'd
50:23
have come out and, you know, the three white guys as well,
50:28
American, you know, and, and just almost stole the show with
50:33
what they were talking about or anything.
50:35
And maybe, just maybe they also got the memo that it was about
50:39
love. So they, you know, if they had
50:40
to come in or like too aggressive chanting what they
50:43
normally chant, that would have been detrimental to Bad Bunny's
50:47
message. So, you know, we don't know.
50:50
And some people said were they censored?
50:51
And who knows? I think the whole decision was
50:53
this was going to be about joy. Yeah, so Green Day, we know
50:58
their views. They didn't need to say it, I
51:00
think is the thought. See, I thought it was a really
51:03
good choice to make it about that as well, rather than being
51:07
kind of confrontational because it meant that there wasn't.
51:11
I mean, not that it stopped Donald Trump saying it was the
51:14
worst half time show he'd ever seen, but really he watched it.
51:18
Yeah. Not that it stopped him, but I
51:20
think it kind of removed opportunities to just talk about
51:24
yeah, to, to, to slag it off, I guess, you know.
51:27
But have you not heard they want an investigation into the
51:31
because of the lyric? The lyrics are sexy and also
51:35
they're outraged. This is quotes from leading not
51:39
a women reporters. I don't know if they're
51:42
politicians, you know, hookers, hookers, twerking, quote UN
51:47
quote. No, they're actually dancers,
51:48
and they're dancing the same way that they would have danced if
51:51
Beyoncé was singing or. Whoever was singing, do you know
51:54
what I mean? It's dancing.
51:56
And so they think they're trying to get that angle in, but it's
51:59
like, can't you know, love is more powerful than hate.
52:02
And they're trying to find room. Outrage.
52:04
Yeah. But when you, you know, you're
52:05
being outraged with someone who was talking about love, it's a
52:08
little bit more difficult than being outraged with somebody who
52:11
was slugging you off and swearing.
52:13
So, yeah, I think, I think it was a good choice.
52:16
And it was a brilliant show. And it did lift me up a little
52:20
bit, like I say, with the anxiety that's been sitting on
52:22
my chest recently and make me actually, you know, normally I
52:25
sit in silence. I know that a lot of people
52:27
can't do this. And my husband always has music
52:29
on, but I'm awful. I do.
52:30
I just sit in silence. But yeah, I chose to put Bad
52:32
Bunny on. Like, it is my kind of music.
52:34
As it happens. I used to like that kind of
52:36
stuff when I was a teenager. I can remember collecting
52:38
glasses for my dad at a reggae thing.
52:41
Anyway, that's irrelevant. But yeah, absolutely loved it.
52:44
And it was amazing. And the football with Together
52:46
We Are America. And like, you know, it was, it
52:48
was, it was absolutely fantastic.
52:50
Absolutely loved it. And also very much loved seeing
52:53
Pedro Pascal sneak in in the background because I'm good.
52:56
I love him. I'm going to marry him.
52:57
And he was in Buffy. Yeah, I'm already married.
53:00
Yeah. He he Thai pila.
53:03
No, I don't think I'm his type. And Ricky Martin, I don't know
53:08
that that makes it any less likely to happen.
53:10
So. That's good.
53:11
And Ricky Martin as well. I mean, it was fantastic.
53:13
And Lady Gaga, and, you know, because we vintage ladies, you
53:18
know, like her styling the hair, the flower.
53:22
So beautiful. Amazing, amazing, amazing,
53:25
fantastic. Yeah.
53:27
But then there's no point to this.
53:28
There's no point to this conversation, by the way,
53:31
listeners. We're just saying it was
53:32
fantastic. That's it.
53:33
We're not going to come out with some kind of amazing at the end
53:35
of this and just go. And what we've learned is, well,
53:37
actually what we've learned is that love is more powerful than
53:40
hate. So yes, we did.
53:42
Look, we learn a thing. So let's talk about the advert
53:46
because I didn't see this because I didn't stay up.
53:49
I have seen the advert. So.
53:51
And obviously I understand the advert wasn't for GOP ones.
53:54
It was for the company who. But there's a lot of just, you
53:57
know, there's this ongoing thought around should Serena
54:01
Williams be the face of it? Should, you know, there's that
54:04
conversation And is it the right time to be selling it at a
54:09
football? You know, like, yeah.
54:11
So what were your thoughts on it?
54:13
Yeah, again, see, I mean, I, I, I did do a post on this.
54:16
This is, this is my my, my 2 pillars of content joy.
54:20
I'm being angry with things. So like I say, so Serena
54:26
Williams advertising it, I do find icky, but sports people
54:31
advertise random stuff all the time.
54:33
You know, there's one on TV in the UK not so long ago with some
54:37
sprinter or something advertising Muller Lite yogurts
54:40
and you're like God with the amount of exercise you do.
54:42
You are not eating Muller Lite. These this, you know, they
54:45
advertise icky things. This happens I had a bit of an
54:48
issue with in the ad. She's like flexing her muscles
54:51
with the caption healthier on row, which does bother me
54:54
because those muscles are results of a lifetime of
54:57
athleticism and taking weight loss drugs is associated with a
55:01
risk of muscle loss. So that bothers me a bit.
55:06
But genuinely my main concerns with it, that advert was not
55:11
designed for people in the UK to see.
55:12
It wasn't actually shown during the live screening of the Super
55:15
Bowl in the UK because it's not AUK advert.
55:18
So, but it was shown during the American screening.
55:21
And it's only since then that a lot of people are then sharing
55:24
it and saying how awful it is. And then we are, and I know the
55:27
irony, we are talking about it now, but we are then kind of
55:29
doing some of their work for them.
55:32
The other issue I have relates more to what it's doing in the
55:35
UK, because I do think it is important that it wasn't an ad
55:39
for GLP ones. It's important that it was an ad
55:42
for Roe who are a healthcare provider, because it's exactly
55:45
the same thing. And this is something that I
55:46
just want people to know. It's exactly the same thing
55:49
that's going on in the UK at the moment.
55:51
It's illegal to advertise pharmaceuticals like
55:53
prescription only pharmaceuticals in this country.
55:56
You know, like probably illegal jail time illegal, not just like
56:00
not recommended. And they'll slap you with a
56:01
fine. But I would pretty sure that
56:05
we've all seen ads for GOP ones online, but we feel like we've
56:10
seen ADP ones online. But what we're what we're
56:13
actually seeing is ads for a healthcare provider.
56:16
So they're authorized offering us a weight loss service which
56:19
will almost certainly include a prescription only medication.
56:24
So the ASA has recently been cracking down on this a lot and
56:28
I think that this ad gives us an opportunity to talk about that
56:31
and say that it is illegal. If you see mention of AGLP one
56:35
in an ad, if you see a picture of the syringe, if you see a
56:39
picture of a vial of medication with a label on the front.
56:42
If you see anything like that in an advert, any mention of tool
56:47
of a pharmaceutical product, It is illegal and the ASA are
56:50
camping down on it and people can go to prison for it.
56:53
So how you'd see adverts for Nurofen?
56:56
Nurofen isn't a prescription only medication.
56:58
Oh I see so it's not it's not a medication, it's a prescription
57:02
only. So to be only medication, the
57:05
GOP ones. Are a prescription only
57:07
medication so when you see an advert for say I'm just thinking
57:10
like Med express or something, you know like they are
57:13
advertising themselves as a healthcare provider and then
57:17
within it they may mention they do GLP ones yes.
57:22
So they may be offering that they may be advertising their
57:25
weight loss service which sells GLP ones.
57:28
So what will be really interesting though, is where
57:32
influence and marketing comes in, because there are people
57:37
making content about GLP ones their journey, which I suppose
57:42
is, are they allowed to? Yes, I presume they are because
57:45
they're talking about them, you know, but there are people then
57:48
also saying quite actively, Oh, and I've got a discount code or
57:53
I've got, you know, which actually the the ASA affiliate
57:57
marketing is advertising. So if I share something where I
58:00
get, you know, a small cut, if I sell, I don't know this.
58:04
If I talk about this chocolate or beauty products and I get a
58:07
1%, you know, pay back to me from the brand, I'd have to
58:11
declare it as an ad, which sometimes feels a bit weird
58:13
because it's like kind of not an ad.
58:16
I'm getting like a little bit of money back, but I am getting a
58:19
little bit of money back. So therefore it's an ad.
58:21
But I wonder how many people are, you know, it's, I suspect,
58:25
I suspect that there is a lot of that because, yeah, if if you're
58:29
doing something that you would have had to have declared it as
58:31
as an ad by ASA standards and it involves a prescription only
58:34
medication, then yeah, technically you're breaking the
58:36
law. We are.
58:38
But yeah, the that's the specifically the ads during the
58:42
Super Bowl, which caused a lot of controversy.
58:44
I think that some of the controversy is in this country.
58:49
I think some of the controversy is looking at the wrong thing
58:52
personally, and that that I don't care what Serena Williams
58:55
advertises. I don't care if most of the ad
58:58
was AI generated. I don't care about Americans
59:02
having pharmaceutical products sold to them and that they're
59:05
using a loophole in America to America to get around not
59:08
mentioning any potential side effects.
59:09
I don't care. But I do care when it happens in
59:12
this country and people use it to get around things.
59:15
And I do care that it normalizes private healthcare in the middle
59:21
of the kind of discussions we're having about NHS at the moment,
59:24
which is, you know, a worrying thing.
59:26
So yeah, I do care about those things.
59:28
So, yeah, it's been quite a controversial ad and unusual for
59:31
the Super Bowl to have an ad like that in it, which I think
59:34
just goes to show how much of, you know, if they're willing to
59:38
pay that amount of money, these these drugs are making them a
59:42
lot of money, putting people on them.
59:44
And I think that that's important to remember as well.
59:47
It's no different from, you know, weight loss companies like
59:49
Slim Fast and Weight Watchers and Slimming World in in this
59:52
country offering you a service that didn't come with drugs and
59:55
they were making a lot of money out of it.
59:57
I wonder what adverts they normally have, like Coca-Cola or
1:00:00
something. I'm like wondering what they
1:00:02
historically have had. Beer maybe?
1:00:05
Yeah, but I don't know. I literally now can't remember
1:00:08
any adverts in previous years. But, you know, they're big.
1:00:11
You know, they cost a lot of money.
1:00:12
Cars, I imagine advertise a lot. Feels like a thing that would
1:00:15
get advertised a lot, doesn't it?
1:00:17
Spend an absolute fortune. But the take away, I think that
1:00:23
I want to leave from a conversation about the Super
1:00:25
Bowl, apart from remembering to report any ads you see that
1:00:28
actually mentioned GLP ones because they get on my nerves If
1:00:31
we're not going to do that, I think the take away that I want
1:00:34
us to have is that love is stronger than hate.
1:00:37
Bad Bunny's message, let's take that with us.
1:00:40
And apparently my daughter, he's going to be my.
1:00:43
Son-in-law. OK, good luck with that.
1:00:53
Thank you for joining us for another roundup of midlife chat,
1:00:56
hot takes, and occasional moaning.
1:00:58
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