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16: A Dose of Positivity w/ Mike Diamond · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living Today's guest needs no introduction as a living legend from the first day I entered in the personal development space that this guy's been in my ear mentoring me his heart is as big as the world and
• 0:26
  What he has been through in his life resonates with me as it personifies harder than life. Mike Diamond has made his purpose in life to inspire, motivate, and educate people so they can reach their full potential and live their best lives. Over the years, Mike has lived many lives
• 0:43
  and made a lot of friends by helping them climb out of what some would consider rock bottom. People already know you from their bestselling book, Seven Steps to an Unbreakable Mindset, and from his previous reality TV shows, Miami Inc., New York Inc., Bondi Inc., Diamond's former work as an entrepreneur in the nightclub and tattoo space made him a household name in reality TV, but now...
• 1:05
  He showcases his own 16 years of sobriety as an acclaimed author, speaker, and motivational coach with a focus on intervention, making his TV return as an intricate cast member in the upcoming season of the Emmy Award-winning A&E show, Intervention. His highly anticipated second book, A Dose of Positivity, is out now. I've read it twice. It's so good. Ladies and gentlemen, my friend, my mate, and yours, Mike Diamond.
• 1:36
  Thank you, buddy. That's a really good introduction. There's, there's only one thing that I got to critique you on. I just got 17 years of sobriety. You know what? I can't give you that year. You guys said 16. I got to get that year. It's hard work. So I'm going to start my question off. What does April 16th, 2006 mean to you?
• 2:03
  Well, you know, that's such a great question because that was, that's that pivotal moment that I tell people there's a really important movie everyone should watch called sliding doors with Gwyneth Paltrow. It's a really old movie. And in the movie, uh, you see Gwyneth Paltrow, they run the movie parallel if she follows her intuition and if she doesn't. And there was this pivotal moment where you get to the top of a mountain, you know,
• 2:32
  I'm doing copious amounts of cocaine. I helped, I was a catalyst in helping Army get on Miami Ink. I was shooting my own TV show with the former singer of Velvet Revolver and Stone Temple pilot, Scott Weiland. And just, and ironically the show was 2004, so 19 years ago, right? And it was called Dive. And I just literally was like,
• 3:00
  after, you know, Scott was having issues with his wife and she was going to leave with the two kids. And I had this moment and I was like, wait, I came here with nothing. I've accumulated all this stuff.
• 3:15
  And I'm empty and all these people around me were empty. So I just did that. I had just had that moment. I knew I didn't know what was going to happen. I just knew that I was on the wrong path and I walked downstairs. I was in the four seasons in New York. It was cold. And I called a friend of mine who had some about, I think 15 or 16 years at the time. And I'd been sober before when I was younger, like.
• 3:41
  I had times of sobriety and I just said, look, I'm just going to give this sobriety thing a go day at a time. What's it, what can you suggest? And I respected him and he said, just go to meetings, shut up, go to meetings, meet me at meetings. And that was it. I didn't question it. I just was like, I was going to get sober. And what happened was now, you know, 17 years later, my life has come full circle. And some of the people that I either used with or.
• 4:11
  Um, they need help or their kids need help. And I've become that guy now.
• 4:17
  that the crazy thing is I was reliable as a party host and I could always get you into a club and I could always be reliable about getting you drugs. And now I've become the reliable guy to get you off drugs and get you clean and do the right thing. It's just, it's the same reliability and discipline and consistency. I just do it clean now. It's kind of bizarre.
• 4:41
  That's why we resonate. My friend would always say to me, he's like, Kelly, you're so good at getting drugs. He's like, just would you be in any club anywhere? And I'd come back with drugs. He'd go, how do you do it? And now people are coming to me for interventions and...
• 4:56
  Just to be clear, this was in the book. I want to give you so much kudos. And the one funny thing about it is I was reading the book on April 16th, and I go, why didn't I text message him? So I'm a bad friend, but I want everybody to know that April 16th, 2006 was your sobriety day. Never went to rehab. Never relapsed. No one did an intervention. You made a choice to be sober and turn your life around. Yeah.
• 5:22
  I kudos to you, sir, because I'm right behind you and I know it's not easy. Yeah. And I don't think, I think, sorry, you go, you go, go, go, go, go. There was someone asked me why I never wanted to do interventions. It's not like I planned. I was in the TV business. I went to acting school and they asked me,
• 5:45
  why I studied the Johnson technique and got certified in that, which is what they call a, uh, it's a surprise intervention. You prepare the family, you do discovery, and then you surprise the addicts and you bring the family together in a healing place and you read letters, and then you provide them with a, an empowering opportunity to get healthy. Right. And I'm really good at it. Like I don't like, there's one thing called invitational. I don't like that. I do all the research and discovery and I just boom.
• 6:13
  And, but then I had to do a thing called executive interventions, whereas they'll give me someone's address and I go find the person. And, and what I realized Kelly is that the reason I'm good at it and the reason someone like you would be good at it is that if, if you can just communicate with someone on their level and show them love and believe in them, cause they've lost belief in themselves, you become very good at intervening and offering them a better opportunity.
• 6:43
  And you don't need a fucking degree from Stanford. You don't need, you need to be able to know people. And the only people that know people are the people that have gone through, like we have the shit. We've gone through the mud, we've gone through the process. Right. And that's why we get clouded by, and there's nothing wrong with therapy. A good therapist can give you really good information, but if you're not willing to get in the trenches,
• 7:09
  and hit the gym and do the meditations and do the self work. See, we've been over schooled and under self-educated. And you and I are self-educated. We educate ourselves. We read a book a week and we grind it. And that's the key to any success and sobriety. And that's why you'll, you know, we'll go into the book. It's like,
• 7:31
  There's empowering ways to get your dose dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, and there's disempowering. You and I did the disempowering for a long time. We got sick fed up. We weren't getting the desired result we wanted. So we did a one 80. Now some people need a guy like me or you to intervene and say, Hey, you screwing up, slow down. Here's some better choices and a better opportunity.
• 8:01
  Guys like you and I just didn't do that. It took me exactly five minutes to get triggered. I...
• 8:08
  I'm triggered like there's only my heart is beating a thousand miles an hour because I just recently got asked to lead one. You're going to have to teach me. It's just so good being sober and being present. I just wish that everybody could feel this way every day. Now, it didn't start off that way. We're going to jump into some tough stuff right now. In your book, A Dose of Positivity, you talk about the physical and mental abuse your father did to you as a child. You specifically said he used you as a punching bag. You then spin it positively and talk about resiliency.
• 8:38
  first of all, this is a huge trigger for me because I was the same thing by my stepfather. And yet I want the listeners to know why, want to know what your story is and why does it matter? Well, look, here's the thing that I realize now. In a system that's, there's generational trauma. Okay. So my dad was so physically and mentally abused that,
• 9:06
  And you call it cultural abuse as well. I grew up Greek and his dad, my grandfather, I never met him, was a raging alcoholic, very talented. And there was times when my dad said that he was in the back of my dad's fish shop, my grandfather's fish shop. And my grandfather tried to stab him with a knife because he wasn't cutting the potatoes right. So it's like he then...
• 9:32
  didn't have that ability to manage his emotions. Right? So then my sister comes 13 weeks premature and my older brother gets measles encephalitis when I'm seven. And here I have my older brother who I looked up to is now in a coma and I'm going to the game. What's going on here? Like how, how comes my brothers like a vegetable. Right. Then I had a little brother who was,
• 10:01
  you know, he had his own stuff going on, but you know, my mom, my mom, they didn't have tools, you know, he's Greek. He worked 12 hours a day. And then I was one of the, I'm dyslexic, undiagnosed and ADHD. So it was a hyper kid, but a lot of stress, a lot of anger. And because I would push the boundaries, he didn't have the ability to control his emotions. So what would he do? He just pound me. And
• 10:29
  I would be like, they never put his hands obviously on my older brother. Cause my older brother was literally had to learn to walk and talk again. My sister was premature and then my little brother, you know, he was, you know, kind of, he was okay. He didn't push the buttons like me. So my mom,
• 10:44
  resented me because I was really cocky and I was not like one of those Greek kids that was going to stand in line. I was a great athlete as a kid and I would tell, I was like, no, no one actually celebrated my wins. So my mom would call me a show off and if I lost my dad would abuse me. So I just became this feral little machine. And then addiction is part genetic. I definitely inherited the gene and it's part environment. And the environment wasn't set up for me to thrive.
• 11:14
  So now when I look back on it, I forgive him because I go, well, he didn't do any work on himself. So I made the choice to leave that sick environment and then learn to get an environment and teach myself how to flourish.
• 11:31
  And that's why I tell people you've got to, I always thought greater than my environment. People thought I was insane. I told people I was coming to America and everyone was like, you're crazy. You'll never, you barely passed school. Cause you, cause I was dyslexic, but no one picked it up. And I just was like, I got to forgive him because I can't, he didn't have school. He didn't, didn't understand. And he still doesn't understand it. And he never really.
• 11:53
  My parents never took responsibility. I mean, my grandmother got me drunk at four years old with her friend and nearly killed me with alcohol poisoning. And up until recently, they were blaming me. And then I said to my son's fired. I was like, imagine what we would do to your parents or my parents if they got our son Orlando drunk. I'd set fire to you.
• 12:17
  Wow. Your story is, it's just amazing. And I'm glad that you brought up Orlando. I'm going to say growing up the way we did, family becomes paramount. Tell me about Orlando, which means famous throughout the land, by the way. I didn't know that. I love that.
• 12:34
  Isn't it fucking great? Isn't it like so cool that we named him by, I didn't name him. My wife's friend came up the name. I give her that credit. So his birthday is the day before mine, just so you know. So we're going to be very similar. So good luck with you on that. So tell me about Orlando and Kim. So I was married before and she's a good person. It just, we weren't, it wasn't the right time, place or person living in New York. And when, you know, September 11th happened,
• 13:04
  She's very artistic. My ex-wife, she's got married with two kids. She's a good spirit, good soul. Wait a minute, did I have that wrong? It's not your wife now? Kim's my wife now, but I had a first wife when we got divorced. I skipped right to the good one. No, no, that's okay. It's good. I just want people to know because if they read it. My wife now, we are polar opposites. I love that. And I'll tell people that's a really good thing. She has no trauma.
• 13:31
  Um, she wasn't pushed like me. She's not wired like me. She's very content. Um, so she lets me, gives me space to be me. She understands me. She knows what she deals with. Cause I was sober. What four years when I met her and I didn't lie about my past. I said like, look, I was crazy. I used to do fistfuls of cocaine and have threesomes. Like I'm a nut job. Like don't, I'm a nut job. When you say that, by the way, do they?
• 14:01
  No, because I've been, because I worked in clubs, right? So imagine being this 23, 24 year old kid that comes to America with nothing. Then you're running the hottest clubs in the world and you've got girls and rock stars around you. Did you, did I, you know, dabble and dance with the devil? Yeah. I was, so I tell her that. So then if a story ever comes up and I've made amends to all these people and they go,
• 14:26
  Oh, that's Mike Diamond, the dog, that crazy guy. Oh, yeah. He already told me about his story. Oh, okay.
• 14:32
  So I don't have any skeletons. Like I let her, she checks all my direct messages. I leave my phone. I don't have any, check all my passwords. Cause girls would send me crazy nude pictures. And like, oh, you're on the TV tattoo show. And I'll be like, who are you? I'm married. So she, it's like, there's no, so we have such a great trust because I did all that. I don't need it. It's not going to fill the void. If I have an issue, we talk about it.
• 15:01
  Do you know what I mean? We sit down and we're like, ah, I have an issue with this or I have an issue with that, or let's try to meet in the middle. So it's, it's healthy now. And Orlando, he he's, he's going to go to his good look, he's going to be schooled, but he's going to be educated. I, I believe that the only way to teach someone is to show them. And if I represent high standards, high values, um,
• 15:27
  I'm caring, I'm loving, I'm self-disciplined. If I'm up at four or five in the morning, I've pushed that kid, you know, 10,000 miles in a stroller. I've worked out with him. Like I've already downloaded self-discipline and good manners on that kid by the way I act. So I already know the first seven years of his life, his brain gets programmed as it develops.
• 15:54
  And he's got no issues. This kid has no trauma. Cause I didn't, I became a transitional character. I didn't take the generational trauma and download it on him. I broke that. And I, he's a clean slate. He has so much fun. He just, his life is, he's like, I don't make his life. He, he works hard, but I make his life easy. There's no stress. There's no failure. Don't have fun. Be you. Um.
• 16:22
  In your book as well, too, Dose of Positivity, it says that you never remember a time growing up when you felt any real love from your parents. Also, that you spent more time with Orlando in now four years than your father did in his first 18. This is why we were friends again. This describes my life. How have you been able to overcome this?
• 16:47
  It's been hard. I'm not going to lie, but I have been blessed with some very, an outside spiritual family. Um, look, I'm going to be straight. Like none of my fucking siblings will ever read my books. They don't even, my dad still asked me if I have a job, I'm one of the top interventionists there is. I'm on one of the hardest TV shows to earn your creds.
• 17:11
  you know, intervention on A&E. You either snooze, you know, or you're done. Like there's no, you like, you've got to be good. And my dad will ring me up once a week for like 10 seconds and ask me if I have a job.
• 17:25
  No, not one of my family members ever has messaged me and they've got Facebook and said, congratulations, your book's in bookstores. You know how hard it is to get a book in a bookstore. It's in bookstores all over the country, right? And I've now landed this great show, not one of them. And so it's like, I just realized that,
• 17:43
  They had, I didn't fit into this box and I wasn't going to play by these rules and I wasn't going to accept being abused and treated and talked down to and called stupid, called dumb, called a loser. Said I was going to go nowhere in life. I was like, you know what? Fuck you. I believe I am that good and I am willing, willing to do the work in the dark so I can shine in the bright lights. And guess where I am.
• 18:11
  I was fucking right. They were wrong. I know what you're doing. You just swear at all that bad stuff. I tell you, I love you, man. And you matter. And you are doing great things. I'm so honored to call you friend. I want to switch a little bit to David Melter said people assumed you were stuck on stupid.
• 18:33
  My stepfather said this to me over and over, and I felt like nothing. I used it as fuel to become super smart and super ripped and aspired to kick his ass, which never happened, but being smart and big has opened so many doors for me. I imagine it's the same for you. For me to get over this, I had to do regular therapy for years, hypnotherapy, and now EMDR therapy. What did you do to proverbial heal from that trauma? Yeah.
• 19:02
  Trauma therapy. Um, for me, it's like a deep meditations, a lot of stretching you, the, yeah, the trauma stays stuck. Yeah.
• 19:16
  in especially in your body in the cells of your body and i never i'll never forget this i went to a bikram yoga class one day in new york city and i was dating a girl at the time who teach bikram and i was standing in this class in this standing bow position and at the time like i'm i'm running i'm lifting weights and doing kickboxing so i'm used to my heart racing right 150 160 beats per minute whatever
• 19:44
  And my heart is just fucking racing and I'm stressed out and I'm standing in a stretch position. So I think this is weird. So I couldn't figure it out. And then I went back to class and I put a heart rate monitor on.
• 19:59
  And I was standing in the same position and my heart rate was at 150. I'm like, wait, this makes no sense. How could I be stretching and how can it be triggering my sympathetic nervous system? Like, what is it pulling? What is it aligning? What is it fighting against? And so I started to like understand, start to look at my body and how all this tension and all these toxins are
• 20:27
  were stuck. So when I started to start to go on the second edit of this book, I was like, dude, my legs are tight and there's something in my lower back that's not right. So I started to stretch out my groins and pull all this shit out of my body through deep stretching.
• 20:47
  and everything opened up. It unblocked all these emotions that were stored. It unblocked all these anger that was stored in my gut. And now to me, deep stretching, deep meditations, good traumatic therapist, NLP, which I got certified in,
• 21:07
  So that kind of stuff, clean eating, you've got to eat clean. You've got to eat so clean, fasting, right? Because you want to get all this crap out of the body. So when you're triggered, you can process it.
• 21:23
  But all this crap that we digest, this food, not stretching the body out, not recovering, not healing, keeps us in our sympathetic nervous system, which is fight, freeze or feed and gets us out of rest and digest. So it's like all these people, right? They'll go to yoga and they'll do a thousand different things, right? And they'll go and they eat clean or this. And I'm like, yeah, but if you're always in stress, what's the point of it?
• 21:52
  So I realized that mindfully stretching the body every day, like I stretch now twice a day. And I, when I wake up, it's the first thing I do now after stretch 20 minutes, like deep stretching. It's fucking hard, dude. And I'll tell you what, this is the craziest thing. You start doing deep leg stretching and groin stretching. You start to panic. It's stretching. Why am I panicking?
• 22:20
  You don't realize what's bound up in your groins and the sexual frustration and the tension and the anger that's in our guts. That's how I heal myself from colitis. All stretch work and breath work and mindfulness, like pulling all that crap out of my body. Stretching is one of the most important things.
• 22:39
  You can't tell. I'm just – I'm not even smiling. I love you. But I am so triggered during this. This is just my heart. If I'm on, Rami, it's – I read – when I did the edits on my book, I literally would burst out in tears and have to go to the gym. I didn't realize the stretching, so I'm going to –
• 22:58
  But I am so deep. You know, it's like you've got to pull it. It's so hot. You have 16 years. I'm at four and a half. And I'm just like feeling like I'm just hitting my stride where people are reaching out to me going, oh, he's really serious about this. This is his new lifestyle. So it's I mean, if I could tell you right now, I mean, it's it's hard. I'm like, that's why I'm stumbling over my words. It's I'm so glad you came on. Thank you. Yeah.
• 23:26
  Did you ever think at one point, cause this is where I am. I'll be full vulnerability. Did you ever think for one point that you couldn't be in a healthy, romantic relationship because of the way we were, we were raised? Because we're, we're screwed. We're screwed up, man. We didn't understand love. 100%. Well, that's why I held off so long to have a kid. I didn't want to have a kid. And, and, and the reason I was more attracted to my wife is she wasn't really into kids. You know what I mean? So then I sat with her,
• 23:56
  And then I said to her, um, I said to her, do you want to have a kid? And she's like, uh, we can try. And I didn't want to do in vitro. I would just give it a shot. Like, you know what I mean? Old school. If you get pregnant, you get pregnant. If you don't, well, it wasn't meant to be. We'll just travel around and have some fun. And she got pregnant the first time. And I was like, cool. And you know, you know, what's crazy, Kelly? This is what's crazy. I.
• 24:24
  So the day- Everything's crazy with you, man. I love it. Well, this is it. June 14th is my birthday. She comes home and she says to me, I write about in the book. She says, got a surprise. It's your birthday. We're having a baby boy. And I'll be honest with you. I thought we're having a baby girl. And deep down, I wanted a baby girl because-
• 24:44
  Girls stick around. Well, hold on a second. Hold on. I have a 14-year-old. And I tell you what, I worry about all the penises that are just one. So you got one to worry about. I don't worry about them all. Yeah, but you know why? But the girl's like daddy's girl. So I wanted my little girl to protect her. And I get a savage like me. And he comes. And so that night, for three days, I was kind of sick with my stomach. And I thought it was colitis.
• 25:12
  Fast forward, I, like an idiot, go to the gym, do a couple hundred pull-ups, come back, and... Hold on. You set the world record at pull-ups. Not just a couple hundred. I attempted it. I attempted it. What it was is it was 345 with a 45-pound weight vest on, so I kind of calculated...
• 25:34
  If I did like, what was it? Five a minute for 60 minutes, right? Three, five, whatever it was, six a minute. Yeah, I was like, see if I can do it. But I did it. I did like 300 pull-ups first attempt. Five a minute. It's on your birthday too, right? Yeah, and then I didn't realize my appendix had burst two days before. So I was doing with a burst appendix and got home. And then later that night, I said, you gotta get me to the ER. And my wife said, why? I said, something bad's happened. It's not my colitis.
• 26:03
  So I was in the, um, on the gurney and someone had to drive from like Victor field to my house, Baker's field. And he, um, he gave me a 50, 50 chance of living. And I said, my wife said, what do you think? And I was like, I don't know if I can make it through. Like I'm pretty bad. Like I've been dying for three days. I was in septic shock and he got me through the surgery. Um, they didn't give me it. They said, if I don't take my colon out within six weeks, I die of colon cancer.
• 26:33
  And I was like, you know what? Fuck you. I'll do it myself. Heal myself. And then the baby came eight weeks premature, seven weeks premature. So it was like, all right, man up, let's get it going. Started running with him. And that's really what inspired me to run the 30 half marathons a year later. Cause I'd never run a half marathon. And I was like, and everyone kept doubting me. Everyone's like, you can't run again. You can't do this.
• 27:02
  I was like, why, why can't, and so that's when I ran a year later, I ran 30 half marathons in 30 days and broke the Guinness world record running half marathon.
• 27:10
  You got to see my producer over here just dying laughing. Your story is just comical. It's so good. You got to buy the book to hear all the stories. He's grossing over them, and they're just priceless. You'll burst out laughing and in tears at the same time. We're going to dive a little deeper because we're 30 minutes in, and I want to be respectful of your time. You've used cocaine, heroin, weed, prednisone, Norco, Oxycontin,
• 27:35
  and meth, and you are famous for coining the phrase microwave mindset. For the listeners out there dabbling in these and believe it's not a problem, what advice do you have? And give us one of your famous acronyms. Well, first of all, the dose, that's what we talk about. Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, there's empowering ways to get the dose and there's disempowering. And whoever's listening to this, I'm telling you right now, I'm telling you right now,
• 28:04
  The only, I mean, I didn't do fentanyl because it wasn't around when I was, I've done heroin, Oxy, but I would have, would have tried it for sure. Um, and I never was really a, an opiate guy because I didn't like the way it made my stomach felt, but I will tell you this. I remember snorting a gram of Coke and doing half a gram, like a little over a half a gram of heroin with someone.
• 28:26
  And I was like, oh, I can never do this again. Because I knew the feeling. I was like, this feels really good. This is dangerous. And I knew. Never shot anything up. I didn't like needles. Smoked crack. I would freebase it. Done it all. It's just garbage. You don't need it. You don't. I tell people this simply. Go and drink. Go to Starbucks. And ask them ridiculously for like, I don't know, three or four. Say four. Say four double espressos.
• 28:56
  Take the double espressos, go home, chug them down real quick. Wait for your stomach to explode because most of the time after you do a lot of coke, you're going to shit anyway. And get all wired and messed up. Get paranoid thinking the cops have come over. Come up with a bunch of ideas that you're never going to follow through on because that's what cocaine does. It just makes you ramble on a bunch of shit that doesn't work.
• 29:19
  and then do that for a week and if you can get through drinking five or six double espressos a day and you're telling me you feel good then go get go to the street dealer and get yourself some coke but it's never going to be the pure coke that i was getting from the cartel it's going to be some street shit maybe cup of fentanyl so my point is it's garbage don't do it you don't need it you're wasting your fucking time
• 29:43
  I'm going to personally vouch for you. He is absolutely right at all that stuff. We've seen Power Rangers. You do enough of the blow, and it's crazy. Tomorrow's energy today, and then you start hallucinating, and then you crash, which is so far the next question. You often use cocaine throughout the day no matter what.
• 30:03
  The more insane things get, the more you think you're in complete control of the situation. How were you able to function and nobody noticed that you were high? Like, I would spot it in a second. How were you? You had a famous thing. You got in that fight. It's in the book, guys. There's a great story. Yeah, leg broken. You did a couple of freaking, what do you call them? Shoelace lines. Shoelaces. They used to do lines of cocaine like this. Like shoelaces. They used to say I was sponsored by Nike because I would rip down a shoelace.
• 30:32
  And then went to work. I grew up. I grew up. I played rugby and I was Australian football. And we would go to the bar at 14 and drink with adults. And it was work hard, play hard. So my introduction into anything. Dude, the guy that gave me cocaine the first time. I went to a gym. There was a famous bodybuilder in Australia. And he goes, I didn't know what pre-work. I was a kid. He's like, oh, you're looking a little off. And I'm like, oh, I guess I am. I'm pretty tired. He's like, oh, I got something for you. We went in the back of the gym.
• 31:00
  And I'd done speed before and acid and stuff and pot and stuff. And he laid out a big line of Coke. I was like, what's that? He said, it's cocaine. I'm like, all right, just snort it. And he's like, yeah, I'll rip the big line. He's like, go work out. I won't work out. I'm like, I feel incredible. I was like, that's what you do. He's like, yeah. And I said, how does that work? Oh my God. You almost made me hyperventilate. That wasn't in the book. And that was priceless. The producers die laughing. Everybody's laughing at you. Yeah.
• 31:28
  It's like I'm fucking doing, I didn't know what pre-workout was. People talk about getting pre-workout. I got the real shit. I snorted a line of cocaine. So I would go to the gym owner and say, do you have more coke? He'd be like, yeah. And I was like, okay, so that's what everyone does. You snort a little line of cocaine, you go work out. Like, forget things. Mike, that's not what everybody does. No, I know. But that's the, they were my mentors back in the day. He was a famous bodybuilder. My God. Tell the listeners about the acronym FAIL.
• 31:57
  So basically when you fail, well, when you think about it, right? It's frustration leads to anger or agitation.
• 32:07
  that leads to insecurity and then at least to lack of perseverance. So basically whenever you fail, it, it, it, the first thing is you're frustrated. You're frustrating cause you're not getting a desired result. Right. And then when you, when you get, when you get into that, that spot, you then go straight into anger and agitation, you get angry.
• 32:28
  You're like, why isn't this turning out the way I desired? And like any person, you know, it's like, you look at any level, you fail, dude, we start getting insecure. And then it always like, oh, fuck, I can't do it. Lack of perseverance. I just can't do it. And failing is just bullshit. It's just when you, when you have a desired result or you have a goal, just change your plan.
• 32:55
  change the timeline, change your approach. There's no such thing as failure. Well, it's such a stupid thing. It's we're schooled. Like you didn't get a certain grade in a certain test. Like the whole schooling system's a joke. You're telling me after all these years, I need Pythagoras's fucking theorem.
• 33:14
  to save money and do shit? Like when does this ever make sense? I knew school was a joke when I was 15, 16 and I was hustling drugs at school even though I got kicked out and making more than a school teacher.
• 33:29
  I'm not saying go and deal drugs, but the point is like, it's such a dated curriculum that was created by Rockefeller who put a billion dollars in the curriculum back in 1905 because after the child labor laws were introduced, they wanted a cog in the machine, not a linchpin.
• 33:52
  We are over-schooled to conform in a box. Think about this. You go from class to class to class, right? In uniform. Not one of the classes actually makes sense.
• 34:06
  Right. And you're learning math that you're never going to use. When do you ever learn that? What are these formulas for what to keep you confused? And then how about this? They say you have to have a certain grade to get into a higher education system. Right. So you think you need these degrees. You pay hundreds of thousands of dollars. You get massively in debt. You come out with this degree into the workforce. You can't get a job.
• 34:35
  No one hires you. Now, if you want to be a lawyer, I get it. Or you want to be an engineer, I get it. If you want to be a doctor, I get it. But most of the other stuff, like people go, I'm going to study business. What are you going to study? Go work in a business, get mentored by someone, right?
• 34:51
  You don't need all this crap. You've got to do the work. Now, if you want to do some kind of tech stuff, you may have to get a degree in something. Yeah, there is jobs that because of the industrialization of America and the way the system, you want to be a pharmacist or a chemist, yes, there is certain licenses you need to practice. But what are we getting schooled for and what?
• 35:14
  Like PhD in what? That's when people like watch these Stanford studies. Okay. I'll say to people straight out, you went and watched all that. You went to Stanford and did it. Okay. I'm like, there's one thing I can guarantee you. They're like, what? I go, you can't tell me what happens to you when you die. Okay.
• 35:32
  Right? Because that's an alone process that you have to go through and it's a self-discovery only you do alone. With all the science and Stanford and MIT bullshit, can anyone tell you what happens when you die? No. Because you're here for a purpose. That's what you're going to figure out. It's you and your creator. So all these other crap that people feed us, does it get us any closer to who we are? Right? The purpose in life is to find your fucking self.
• 36:03
  You have such a simple and easy and magnificent way of articulating things and looking at life. As humans, we are motivated in two simple ways, to gain pleasure and to avoid pain. Which were you seeking most, my friend? I think it's a balance of both. I think I wanted pleasure really badly and I wanted to run away from my past and trauma. So I think when I was triggered,
• 36:33
  Right? You know what I mean? And that's where, here's a really important thing for everyone to remember. Your trauma never leaves you. You just get better at looking at the movie. So give you a perfect example, right? I've read your book. I say, Piss Jar. It's gonna, the event's still in your mind. It is. It's a fucking traumatic event. And I'll give you a perfect example. Where were you September 11th?
• 37:02
  I was in a doctor's office. Bang. See how you knew? Yeah. Now, if you said to me, I was in a doctor's office, I got a call, and 10 of my friends were in New York and died, okay, and it was traumatic. So you remember the event because the emotion was so massive connected to the event, right? It doesn't go anywhere.
• 37:25
  The movie's still going to trigger the students going to still be, but if you, nothing traumatic happened to you in that event, then you can look at it with a very normal perspective. Now, like you, like me, right. I say the piss jar doesn't matter that, that memory is still attached to you. What we get better at doing is stepping back, right. Zooming out and looking at from a different perspective. I can't change it. Right.
• 37:53
  I have to accept that it happened. I don't agree with it, right? I'll never forget it, but I have to know now that I can learn and grow from it. So when I sell people is when, when, when something traumatic trick, you're triggered by someone or a tone or something, and you feel the trauma come up, sit in it, just sit in it for a second, breathe diaphragmatically, and then ask yourself, am I safe?
• 38:19
  am i safe right now yes can i change it no okay and then you proceed right because that's what people say they're like oh this traumatic event yeah it's okay it's okay if a traumatic event you're going to be triggered all the time it's life we get triggered just don't run from it well that's a that's a reframe and and it's kind of what i'm doing in emdr right now so you you earlier talked about the
• 38:44
  your resiliency that, that it gave from you being able to deal with your dad's trauma. What I did, I said the same thing. It, if I learned that if I didn't empty the, the, the urine jar, that it created more work for me. So I do my job right. The first time that's, that's a, I was about to say F word. That's a messed up way to teach kids something. And, uh, that's why I, I actually, so the EMDR therapy, just so you know, it does that. It teaches you to, to do a lot to assign logic. Yeah.
• 39:14
  to something that's illogical and emotional and it almost erases it. So I just started and I'm, I was, I'm mind blown, but I just want to get better and better and better. Uh, so I can help more and more people just like you. And I was realizing that there still was some blockage. So I just try every modality of everything. So, um, Mike, what's, what's your biggest fear?
• 39:44
  You know, it's really interesting right now. That's such a good question. What's my biggest fear? You know, I tell people, and this is a line that I use, I was so scared my entire life growing up. I think I ran out of fear. I thought that was a big dude, and I just was scared.
• 40:08
  You know what my, this is really funny. I don't have any emotional insecurities. I don't have any, I, I've, I've, I don't do affirmations. And I tell people this, and this, this will go into the, my biggest fear. So this is how I teach people. It's very simple. Someone says, do I believe in affirmations? I said, okay, so Kelly and Mike, two different cities go to their car at night and someone jacks them up, steals their car.
• 40:35
  Let's say for me example, I go home and I do affirmations because I've been told affirmations, build your self-confidence, right? Self-esteem. You on the other hand, don't do an affirmation. You're like, I'm vulnerable. I can't take care of myself. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to acquire a set of skills that made me defend myself, which is Jiu Jitsu, boxing, whatever, year later, right? And this is where people mess it up. Like I did affirmations, I don't feel better. We get in the same situation. I get jacked up, you whip the guy's ass.
• 41:05
  What happens is self-confidence and self-esteem is only there if you acquire a skillset and you can prove that you have that skillset to back it up. So you can affirm, right? But if you say I'm going to be a tiger, but you're not ferocious like a fucking tiger, right? You go nowhere.
• 41:28
  Right. I want to be confident. Well, what are you doing to build your confidence? Right. I want to be strong. Well, you better go live some fucking ways. Right. I want to be fit. Right. So it's like if you're going to do it and you have the affirmation and you connect the affirmation with a real action that that allows you to acquire a skill set that is then undeniable because you come so good, you can't be ignored. Then you don't have any fear.
• 41:57
  Cause what are you afraid of? You know, you can back yourself up. So the only fear I really have, it's going to sound really comical. It's so true. I don't like roller coasters.
• 42:08
  I can't stand them. And my son likes rollercoasters and I'm deadly afraid of rollercoasters. And I have these things. I'm like, I'm going to have to go into my own little NLP hypnotherapy. And I literally have to time a rollercoaster and, and watch myself on it. Cause he loves rollercoasters and I hate them. And I'm scared of them. I just don't like, I don't like being that out of control. It turns my stomach. So I, that's my fear that he's going to call me out one day and he's going to be like, yo, yo,
• 42:38
  Let's do this. And I'm going to have to do it and cry like a baby. Like Jason Mawawa did this great advertisement for this roller coaster. And he was screaming like a little kid. Like, so it sounds stupid. I have no financial fears. I have no fear of like, I don't, I'm not afraid of death. Like my body, I'm healthy when it's time to go, it's time to go.
• 42:59
  I've set my son up and my wife up financially. I have no fears of my skillset. I go to places people don't want to go. I can get people sober. My track record is like I nearly bat 100%. I know how to get people sober.
• 43:14
  I know how to get up at three in the morning. I'm self-educated. I read a book a week. I heal myself naturally. So all that stuff, I've kind of, I'm, I'm, I'm in the third act now, just trying to be of service. So I don't, I wake up really clear conscience. I I'm so humble. You know, I learned years ago, a guy said shooting TV shows and shooting TV shows is really difficult. If you get on a show and you're blessed,
• 43:42
  And I said, how do you, how do you stay on a TV show? He said, shut up and eat a warm salad, right? Put the crew first and everyone else, and you will have a long run on a show. Just shut up. Just do what they say. It's not your show. Be part of the team. Right. And that's like, so now I just, I'm humble. I just humble, you know, cause I wasn't before.
• 44:07
  As you got older, did the fear... Have you always feared roller coasters? Or did it get worse as you got older? Because I used... Always. Fucking... Always. I never liked them. I just never liked the fucking feeling of my gut. I don't like that feeling. Some people... Here it is. You know how some people like the drop in their stomach? And it was so crazy because...
• 44:27
  My, my father-in-law bought a swing for Orlando and he, and I was like, held him up really high when he was young. And I was like, Oh, and he dropped him and my son naturally put his hands in the air. I'm like, that's why they do that. Oh, like I could never understand why you put your hands in the air. I'd be like holding onto the seat, but here's the weird thing about adrenaline. Um,
• 44:47
  I'm not afraid of physical confrontation. I'm not afraid of getting in a fight with someone. I'm not afraid of standing off with someone like that. I just don't like speed.
• 44:59
  speed freaks me out. Like I don't like moving that quick. Cause I'm not in control. See if I would literally, this is how crazy it is. If you asked me to roll on like, ride on the craziest roller coasters, right. Or face a tiger. I'll take a tiger on cause I could, even though I'm going to get killed, I can run like I can, my feet are on the ground. But if you put me where my feet are on the ground, I'm like, Whoa, and I'm not afraid to fly.
• 45:27
  Like stuff like that. That doesn't bother me. But quick drops. That's so odd because people have said that they fear facing shame worse than they do facing death. So that was a very interesting. Shame doesn't bother me. I just don't even. The toxic shame stuff now. I like it. Whatever. It's just funny because. You don't like me? That's your opinion.
• 45:48
  I have so much to live for now that I literally, I never used to care if I lived or died. Now I want to live. And so I don't like roller coasters anymore either, but my daughter loves them. I go on and with her, but I'm not going to lie to you. I get the worst things that we were, and we did parasailing at our place in Florida. And I had this crazy anxiety that something was going to happen to her. And I'm like, get me down, get me down. And you know, they're making fun of me. The guys are like, how big is this guy that he's so scared?
• 46:19
  Dude, you know, the worst thing is my dad used to take me on fishing trips and I only died on a, on a, on a big fishing trip years ago when I was a kid. And, um, we got stuck at shore and I don't, I, I don't have a good sea legs. So I used to take, that's when I first realized that you can get, you could trip on acid, what if you take, um,
• 46:38
  I shouldn't say that, but if you take the, what's the Dramamine? If you take a bunch of Dramamine, too many Dramamine, you'll start hallucinating. So I remember this one fishing trip because I didn't want to get, I used to puked so much. I took like five Dramamine and my dad's like, what are you, out of your mind? And I couldn't, like, I was trying to fish, but I was literally tripping. So we went to a fishing, we went to Hawaii and my wife's like, do you want to swim with some sharks? I said, yeah, absolutely. And I said to the guy, how far offshore is it?
• 47:08
  And he goes, why? And I said to my wife, I don't have good sea legs. And we got out there, dude. I wanted to puke so bad. And it's like, oh, this fit dude. And he's good, like a little girl. He's going to puke. And I was just like, no, dude. Anything to do with movement or motion sickness, I'm a baby, dude. I don't like it. I was like, oh, it's happening out.
• 47:28
  I have a good drinking story for you. When I did drink, we were in Cancun. We rented a freaking offshore charter to go fishing in it. We should not have been out there. It was 12-foot waves. I've had a boat my entire life. It does not bother me. I get on this boat. I start pounding Coronas, dude. And everyone's looking at me. It's 7 a.m. I'm like, beers included, man. I'm drinking.
• 47:48
  I drink it. 12 foot waves bouncing everywhere. Everybody's puking. I'm back there fishing like nothing even happened. Catching fish one after another. Being another guy that we're drinking. Everybody that didn't drink out. It was, that was not smart. I want to loop back and talk about that. You said something that people need, the audience needs to hear. Yeah.
• 48:08
  The confidence in yourself, because I have it, and explain, I'm going to do it my best thing, and you'll do it much more articulate. We've been in and out of so much crap in our lives that I know that no matter what the universe gives me is a learning experience. I'm batting 1,000. I've been beat. I've been shot at. I've been stabbed. I've been stabbed.
• 48:32
  I've been drowned. Everything has happened to me. And yet I'm here today talking to the great Mike Diamond. So that gives me, and then I'm impeccable with my word to myself. So I will never, it's a non-negotiable for me. I say something's going to happen. It's going to happen. Talk about how you, my guess is it's probably similar, but how did you cultivate that confidence in yourself? Well, you know what, what it was is because I,
• 48:59
  No, everyone hid information from me and the school system was even an acting school, no one wanted to teach you. I started to look at, there was a mindset that I realized that's intuitive based where you look at, um, the great Roger Bannister, cause I was a runner and I, how did he break the four minute mile when they literally physically said his heart would explode. And I was like, wow, he, and then now you run a.
• 49:27
  a mile in like three minutes and 45 seconds, like 15 seconds fast. It was crazy to think that that was such a limited thinking. Right. So what I started to do is I realized that every person that was successful
• 49:41
  was very self-taught. If you look at like Edison, if you look at even Franklin and Lincoln, or you look at even like, you know, Steve Jobs, he left Harvard early, sorry, no, Bill Gates left Harvard early. So I started to like understand that there was four paths to learning in anything, right? And it takes time to acquire a skillset. It was you're unconscious and you're incompetent, right? You don't know what you don't know.
• 50:08
  And then you become consciously incompetent. Now you're conscious of what you don't know. And most people then just quit. Then it becomes a conscious competence where it's like, I now know I have the skill set. But what people don't stick around for is the unconscious competence.
• 50:28
  where it becomes an innate skill ingrained in your subconscious and a habit that makes you unbreakable because you mastered it by putting in the work. And if you can have discipline
• 50:44
  and consistency and you're not optimistically delusional with the goal you want to achieve. And what I mean by that is for me to say at 5'9 and 175 pounds, I'm going to go and play basketball like Michael Jordan, that's being optimistically delusional. There's certain genetic things that not everyone can do everything the same. It's just like you've got great.
• 51:12
  You got fast twitch fibers. Genetically, you are built naturally to, you're more of a mesomorph, right? You've got great muscle bellies. That part you work out, but that's genetics. You can't say that's not part genetics, right? You're not going to run the Boston Marathon as fast as a Kenyan.
• 51:31
  she's not going to happen. You may run one, but for you to say you're going to run it in two hours, that's being optimistically delusional. That's like, I'm going to say, that's not a real goal. So if you, you, you actually are brave enough to look at your skill and ability and you don't get comparison syndrome and look at everyone else,
• 51:50
  And then you look at everything in that fourth thing. Whenever you start, I'm unconscious and I'm incompetent, right? Then I become consciously incompetent. Now I've got to push through the hard and the messy to become consciously competent. And if I really want to excel and be excellent, what people don't understand is mastery is boring. And what I mean by that is Floyd Mayweather doesn't have to throw a jab ever again, but he does.
• 52:18
  So master the basics, right? Master the monotonous, stay in the process. And then it doesn't matter because I know I've acquired a set of skills with the work I've put in. That's not the microwave mentality. That's not like a quick fix. I can delay massive gratification to acquire those skills. Right. And then, so for me, it's like, what do I want to do? Why do I want to do it?
• 52:47
  And how am I going to do it? And then I just shut out the noise. And I just work. I just work. I just work. I just work and grind. Most won't, you will. I love that. I always say impossible only describes the degree of difficulty.
• 53:05
  Right. Tell me, tell me it can't be done and I'll do it. Trust me. Doubt me. That'll be fun. I know it's famous, but I think that's actually, I sorry, go, go, go, go. So when you're down, which probably is never, cause you you've got so many coping skills. Uh, what do you think of to make sure that makes you smile? All right. So what I do now is I do these really simple things. I took it about the book indirect and direct mentors, right? So I get a great amount of information from,
• 53:34
  from an indirect mentor, which would be like, you know, Viktor Frankl. Like if I'm feeling rough, I'm thinking, what would Viktor Frankl say to me? He was in three concentration camps and got through it. He'd be like, Mike, what's the weather like outside? It's sunny California, right? Or it's a rainy day. What are you really facing?
• 53:54
  And most of my staff, I can be honest, the first world problems because I escaped the toxic environment. I escaped toxic people, right? I reeducated myself. So I deal with people that have lost their way and I look at them and going, I was there. I can help them. So I just, I just look at what am I really, what am I getting down about?
• 54:17
  I, I, I've managed, I've cracked the matrix. You know, I had to figure out what the credit system was here. No one taught me, oh, you have to have credit. You have to get credit cards. You got to be credit. I pay cash for me. Oh, I got that. I've got a couple of nice houses. I make great money. I know how to write books. I know how to get publishing deals. Like, you know, and I had a bright TV shows and I had to get on TV. What the fuck do I have to worry about? I'm sober 17 years. Do you know what I mean? So I don't get down. Yeah. I just go, how could I, what am I?
• 54:46
  overthinking. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't, it's so it's only like, even when look, I wrote a book called a dose of positivity. It was like shingles three times and a stomach infection. And I was in the toilet like 30 times a day. And my wife goes, are you talking to someone while you're in the toilet? And I was talking to my editor.
• 55:06
  And I was like, yeah, what's your problem? Do you need some, you see I'm on the crapper and she's like, whatever. And I said to him, I literally said to him, look at the irony. I wanted to call the book a dose of positivity. The last thing I want to do is be positive right now. But what am I supposed to do? Call my publisher and go, oh yeah, I got a little stomach bug and COVID three times. Can I hold back the edit? You don't know the person you're going to have to become when you set the goal. Right?
• 55:34
  So everyone goes, oh, I made the NFL. Okay. Do you want to have a career? Do you want to be the GOAT? Do you want to be Brady? Do you want to come off the bench when everyone laughs at you and go, I'm not letting the other guy back in? No, I'm going to win six. Then get drafted because you're too old and go to a team like the Tampa Bay team and win. And then have your wife divorce you.
• 56:03
  I got to tell you, you're just the way you have with words. And I've gotten to know you and I will tell the listeners that every single thing that you say is true and how you live your life. And it is this is not hogwash to sell books. You are genuine, authentic. As a matter of fact, every time we exchange texts, it's not a one word. It's a.
• 56:22
  Hey, mate, how are things going? Tell me something good. We go back and forth. You are just a magnificent soul, and I'm glad you're on this planet. I'm grateful that I get to know you. We're going to end this on a good note. You are one of the most disciplined people I know. Tell us the first thing you do in the morning, the last thing you do before bed, and a list of your non-negotiables. Okay, first thing I do is I wait. Well, first of all, there's no such a snooze button as me because I know...
• 56:51
  No one, anyone that says like, uh, I don't feel like getting up. I never feel like getting up. Why would you want to leave the comfort of your bed? Right? So I'm going to jump in. Hold on. I want to tell you, I, the moment my eyes pop open, I'm ready to scorch earth. My feet hit the ground. I'm right. I'm not kidding. I don't know what it is about me. I want to push through it. Yeah.
• 57:14
  But if you ask me, would I want to lay in bed? No, I don't want to be lazy, but I'm like, still, when you're comfortable in a bed, it's like it's comfortable, right? So I just get up. First thing is freezing cold water on my face, freezing cold water on my face. Wake up, hydrate myself. After I hydrate, I actually journal for 20 to 30 minutes.
• 57:36
  Um, just whatever's going through my mind. If there's chaos here, it becomes clarity. When I write, I write out all the chaos, clear, clear the fog. Then I stretch, uh, breath work. You know, some people do Wim Hof, some people do box breathing. Just do what's right for you. It's all taken from 2,500 years ago, 3000 years ago. We're repackaging it with an old fucking Wim Hof just does Tumo breathing. It's all the same crap that everyone's talks about it.
• 58:05
  So figure out what's right for you. Then I have to lift weights. I lift a lot, you know, weights. I mix up my routine, strength training, then cardio straight into cardio. What I do now is I used to run a lot after COVID and all these other issues, my stomach, I now just do either stationary bike or uphill walking. And while I'm doing that, I'm reading at the same time. I don't do audio. I physically read. I just like to concentrate 30, 40 minutes of reading.
• 58:34
  Then after that, I haven't checked my phone. I haven't checked emails. Then it's hot shower first, cold to wind. I like to do the hot to calm me down. And then the freezing cold for like four or five minutes, both sides.
• 58:47
  I do a little stretch, I get dressed. And then after that, basically it's onto whatever my son needs. And my day is already planned in my journaling. Now, what I do is I repeat that exact same thing 12 hours later. That's my reset. So if I get up at three, I do it at three in the afternoon. If I get up at four, I do it for in the afternoon, I get up between three and four. Right?
• 59:09
  The only time I change that is if I'm traveling like I was in New Hampshire, three hour time difference. That's just dumb to get up three hours different. Like I'll give myself a lag of two or three days so I don't get jet lag. Then before bed, I usually get the better between, you know, nine, nine and ten. Nothing, no, no TV, nothing, no phone, eight o'clock, everything goes away.
• 59:35
  Um, I do fast. I do a 16 hour fast. Okay. I'm not this keto, whatever I do, whatever's right for my body. I do everything fast. If I ran 30 half marathons fasted, I do complete 16 hour fast. Um, I just feel great fasting. I have a ton of energy. I do simple three meals. So I do, if I do a meal at 12, it's protein, a little veggies, a little carbs, right? PVC, eat your protein, eat your veggies, eat your carbs, little healthy fats.
• 1:00:05
  Four o'clock, same table meal. At six o'clock, I do a little snack, some kind of protein snack, just anything. Could be some yogurt, some protein, whatever. And then dinner, eight o'clock's my last meal. Nothing after that. I don't eat junk food, I don't eat candy, I don't eat processed crap because of my colitis. It's just, I'm not gonna put garbage in a fucking Ferrari. I'm a Ferrari and that's it. I just go and I can,
• 1:00:33
  I go all day because I don't put shit and then I always, most important thing that people need to remember, before you start anything, before you eat, stop. Slow down, breathe. Get in a car, stop. Center yourself, breathe. Okay, that's your corner. That's like if you finish a fight, the corner man tells you to breathe.
• 1:00:59
  right before you start a meeting, center yourself. So if you eat correctly, right. And, and your diet, and you're chewing correctly, you're building digestive enzymes to break down the food. That's your real probiotics and digestive. The same when you're traveling, right. When you get off a call, if your head's crazy, put the call down, right. If you don't want to pick up a call, right.
• 1:01:24
  Get yourself centered. So that's one of the most important things. You reset yourself at different times of the day and then you're not rushing. And then when you, whatever you're consuming, it's actually helping you recover. So they're my non-negotiables. I don't ever break them. I got to tell you, I could talk to you for forever. We're, we're up against the hours. We're gonna start wrapping this up, but I, you're just.
• 1:01:49
  I'm going to have you back on next year when you write your next book. And again, is there something I haven't asked you today that you feel compelled to share? No, I think it's all I would say to anyone out there is that
• 1:02:04
  If you're feeling stuck, it's because you haven't gathered enough information and you've probably been over schooled and beaten down by toxic people, toxic environment, and just people that have tried to control you and manipulate you and tell you're not good enough. It's all hogwash. It's all bullshit. Like I've proven everyone wrong.
• 1:02:24
  You can prove everyone wrong. And guys like me and you are the guys that you need to follow research, look at it's not like this fabricated thing. Like you can succeed to your, to your ability, not mine, not Kelly's, no, don't look at Goggins and run to your feet, explode. Do you be you because we're all enough. We've just got to figure out, you know, who we are.
• 1:02:50
  What was the term in there? I'm sorry, it's in the book, and I'm gonna remind everybody to go get the book, A Dose of Positivity, it's so good, and he breaks down all these things. What is anchor, the two people who, anchors and what? Engine, so an engine. So I think it's, yeah, so basically, we both, I think we both were, we commented a while back on the crabs in the basket, crabs in the bucket. Yes. The anchors, right? So an anchor is there to pull, you hold a boat down, right?
• 1:03:20
  So an engine is what? An engine drives you. So what you want to do is in life, if you're feeling stuck and you're surrounded by people, you have to ask yourself, who are the people that are putting the wind in my sails? Who are the people that lift me? Who are the people that drive me? Cause they're engines. And then who's an anchor? Who's someone pulling me back? Who's someone trying to suppress me? Who's trying to, someone trying to keep me locked down.
• 1:03:47
  And if you look at those groups, that's why it's important to become a transitional character, right? And break generational trauma and break the industrialization of bad, bad global schooling and thinking, right? You have to divorce people in your life and only surround yourself with engines. And people say that blood is thicker than water. And that is true.
• 1:04:16
  But if there's poison in the blood, you need a fucking blood transfusion. Wow. You're right. I haven't talked to my parents in 25 years. How can I personally support you, brother?
• 1:04:29
  I'm just, you know, everyone can go, there's bookstores that have a dose of positivity. They can buy it in the bookstores, seven steps. You can buy them both online. And then, you know, if anyone is, honestly, if anyone's just struggling, like just, just shoot me a, an email or don't, don't do this. Don't sit alone in the dark and think no one cares because people do. There's people out there. You may not have found them yet.
• 1:04:57
  But people like me and you actually care because we care about ourselves. We care about others. I've said this to you before. Please, if you need help with anything or you – I want to come out and see one of these interventions because I want to learn it because I'm starting to get to the point where people are asking. I'm going to start – we're going to – you know Adam Jeblin? Yeah, he just reached out to me. You know Adam? He's a good dude. That's why he reached out to me because of you. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:05:23
  So great dude. So I'll, um, I'm actually going to be, when the show is in September, I've got a bunch more stuff to do before then, but, uh, I'm going to actually be training kind of people on my style. I take, I take what I was trained in and I add the Mike Diamond kind of thing to it.
• 1:05:42
  And I just want to get my own crew of dudes that do interventions with me. Because we've got a lot of work. The moral of the story is I'm passionate about this. We're very similar. I want to help you in any way, shape, or form. So call on me anytime. And, man, I've got to tell you, I just love you. I adore you. You've always made time for me. You've always looked out for me. You're just one of the good people. And just keep doing what you're doing. Orlando's a lucky boy.
• 1:06:05
  And thank you for taking the time. I'm going to remind everybody that each and every episode is sponsored by National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life. Thank you for listening. Please rate and subscribe to Harder Than Life. And let's take this to the next level. Get connected at the links below.