Latest / Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections / Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Bob Burg and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker

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Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Bob Burg and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker · Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections

0:14
Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
0:18
Connections. I'm your host, Michael Foreman,
0:21
speaker, author, and your guide to turning conversations
0:25
into revenue. Today's guest is someone whose
0:28
work has transformed how the world thinks about
0:32
success through giving. Bob Berg, co -author
0:36
of the international bestseller, The Go -Giver,
0:39
and author of the timeless classic, Endless Referrals.
0:43
We're diving deep into what it really means to
0:48
network with purpose, how generosity becomes
0:52
your greatest business strategy, and why authentic
0:55
connection always outperforms the hard sell.
1:00
So buckle up, Buttercup, because today's conversation
1:03
isn't just about building a network. It's about
1:07
building authenticity, legacy, level, influence.
1:11
So let's get started. I would like to introduce
1:14
Bob Berg to the podcast. And I have to tell you
1:18
that since day one of my professional career
1:21
of speaking, I've always followed the footsteps
1:24
of Bob Berg. So if you love me, you have him
1:28
to thank. If you hate me, don't hate him. Okay,
1:31
but here it goes. Bob, welcome to the podcast.
1:35
And just give us a little bit about your background,
1:37
because I'm sure that the listeners may not have
1:40
heard it. but I'm very interested myself. Thank
1:44
you, Michael. And thank you for your service
1:46
to our country as well. I so greatly appreciate
1:49
it. And thank you for the wonderful work you're
1:51
doing in the world of networking. And you're
1:53
adding a lot of value to the lives of a lot of
1:55
people. So thank you for having me on your show.
1:58
Yeah, I started out as a broadcaster, first in
2:01
radio doing sports, then in television doing
2:03
news. I wasn't really that good at it and wasn't
2:07
long for that profession. So I went into sales,
2:10
which was one of those things you typically,
2:12
at least back in my day, day. You didn't grow
2:14
up saying, Hey, I think I'm going to be a sales
2:15
professional. It's something you usually fell
2:17
into. And I knew nothing about it. And so I failed
2:22
miserably for my first few months until one day
2:25
I was in a bookstore and this is. 40 plus years
2:28
ago. And back then, it wasn't like today where
2:31
this kind of material just people know about.
2:33
Back then, if you didn't know, you didn't know,
2:35
right? So I go into a bookstore looking for something.
2:38
I didn't know what. I didn't even know there
2:39
were books on how to sell. And I saw two books.
2:43
One was by Tom Hopkins. The other was by Zig
2:45
Ziglar, two of the icons, of course, in our sport
2:49
sales. And I got those books and I like to say,
2:52
I didn't read them. I devoured them. And I would
2:56
just go home after work every night and study
2:58
into the wee hours of the morning and take notes
3:01
and underline and highlight and rehearse. I mean,
3:05
I just studied. I just embraced it. And within
3:09
a few weeks, my sales really began to go through
3:12
the roof. Now, that was interesting to me because
3:15
there certainly wasn't a big change in me personally
3:18
in those three weeks. But what I had that I didn't
3:21
have prior was a methodology. A system, if you
3:26
will. And I personally define a system as the
3:30
process of predictably achieving a goal based
3:35
on a logical and specific set of how to. principles,
3:39
the key being predictability. If it's been proven
3:41
that by doing A, you'll get the desired results
3:43
of B, then you know that all you need to do is
3:45
A and continue to do A and you'll get the desired
3:48
results of B, much how you teach a networking
3:50
system. If your clients follow it, they're going
3:52
to succeed. And so this was really a turning
3:55
point for me. But what was really awesome was
3:59
when I realized that I needed to get all these
4:03
personal development books. Right. Again, I knew
4:07
nothing about this, but now in every book and
4:11
I'm reading on sales and back then cassette tapes
4:13
that I started buying on sale and what they're
4:16
telling you, you've got to read how to win friends
4:18
and influence people and think and grow rich
4:20
and the magic of thinking big and psycho cybernetics
4:23
and all these amazing. books. I was a horrible
4:28
student in school. I'm now getting an education
4:31
and was loving it. And what I came to realize
4:34
was that success is really an inside job. You've
4:38
got to grow into that person who can, of course,
4:41
it manifests itself outwardly, but it begins
4:44
in here, in the mind, and then into the heart.
4:48
I just love that. I was learning things that
4:50
I just never knew before. And so really that's
4:53
how all that started. And eventually I was sales
4:56
manager of another company years later and yada,
4:59
yada, move from that to teaching sales and communication
5:03
skills and blah, blah, blah. And now we're here
5:05
today. That's right. And your work, you haven't
5:10
touched upon your work. And I understand that
5:13
your work, your body of work. with networking
5:18
and communication is legendary. Okay. You might
5:22
be poo -pooing it right now, but it is bigger
5:25
than life. And you had quite an extensive background.
5:29
So just by saying that, let me dive into this.
5:34
How do you personally define networking? And
5:39
how has that definition evolved throughout your
5:42
career? Yeah. I tend to define everything, so
5:48
I'm glad you asked, because to me, defining terms
5:52
is so important because the definition is the
5:54
very premise from which you operate. And I think
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I'm paraphrasing Ayn Rand by saying, if your
6:01
premise is false, it can never result in a correct
6:04
conclusion. So I always like to define terms
6:08
so we're all facing the same direction. I define
6:11
networking as simply the cultivating of mutually
6:15
beneficial give and receive, win -win relationships.
6:22
The focus, of course, the italic, if you will,
6:24
is on the give part because that's really where
6:27
it starts. As you teach, you've got to look for
6:29
ways right from the beginning to... bring value
6:34
to focus on bringing value to others and be able
6:37
to communicate that value in a way that person
6:39
sees it as being a value. And yeah, I think when
6:43
we go by that definition, where we tend to now
6:46
do the right, we're in a position to do the right
6:49
things that help develop that network. I absolutely
6:53
agree. And my, the way that I promote networking
6:57
is I always say, go into it with a servant's
7:00
heart. Always look to give. Forget about receiving.
7:05
If you're going to sell something at a networking
7:09
event, don't bother going. You're going to look
7:11
to have a servant's heart. And my line, my line,
7:15
but my ever faithful line is to say, I like you.
7:19
I like you, what you're doing. I like how you're
7:21
doing it. How can I make you more successful?
7:25
How can I be a good referral source for you?
7:28
And if I did my job correctly, they'll turn around
7:32
and say, Mike, I don't even know what the hell
7:34
you do yet. Oh, I was talking and talking. But
7:37
that's it. They want to know because of your
7:41
focus on them, which is so key. Absolutely. One
7:45
of the, I think one of the fastest things I learned
7:48
in sales, and this is as I started getting on
7:50
the phone a lot and doing phone prospecting and
7:53
building relationships on the phone and closing
7:55
sales on the phone, what I discovered is nobody
7:58
ever hung up the phone on me while they were
8:03
talking. Really interesting thing. If I'm talking
8:06
about myself and the company and how long we've
8:08
been in business and our products are this and
8:10
blah, blah, blah. But if they're talking about
8:13
themselves, they are engaged. And all of a sudden
8:16
they become interested. It's that old saying
8:18
that both of us know. And that is, if you've
8:20
ever been in a conversation with someone who
8:22
let you do practically all the talking, didn't
8:24
you come away from that conversation saying to
8:26
yourself, wow, what a fascinating conversationalist
8:28
that person was. That's right. And when we ask
8:32
the right questions, such as the one that you
8:34
just mentioned, yeah, we're a fascinating conversationalist.
8:38
That's right. That's so true. That's so true.
8:41
Okay, so let me get to the next question. You've
8:44
spoken about the golden rule of networking. What
8:47
does that mean in practice? And how can professionals
8:51
live it out authentically, not transactionally?
8:55
Yeah. So the goal of what I call the golden rule
8:58
of business of sales of networking is all things
9:02
being equal, people will do business with and
9:06
refer business to those people they know and
9:10
trust. Here's the thing. And we talk about this
9:13
in law number three of John David Mann's in my
9:15
book, The Go -Giver, that the fastest, most powerful.
9:20
Most effective way of eliciting those type of
9:24
feelings toward you, those no -trust feelings
9:27
toward you from others, is by genuinely and authentically
9:34
moving from an I focus or me focus to an other
9:40
focus, a focus on them. Or as Sam, the mentor
9:43
in the story, advised Joe, make your win all
9:47
about the other person's win. And people say,
9:51
is that realistic though? Focusing on them. It's
9:54
interesting because when I would, back in the
9:55
days when I was on the road, I'm 67 now, I don't
9:58
get on planes or anything. But back in the day,
10:00
when I would be at sales conferences and addressing
10:04
a room full of sales professionals, one of the
10:07
first things I'd say is, nobody's going to buy
10:11
from you because you have a quota to meet. No
10:16
one's going to buy from you because you need
10:18
the money or you want to hit a sales goal. And
10:20
they're not even going to buy from you just because
10:21
you're a really nice human being. And I know
10:23
you are. No, they're going to buy from you. They're
10:26
going to do business with you because they believe
10:28
that they will be better off by doing so than
10:32
by not doing so. So the most powerful thing,
10:36
the most productive thing you can do as a salesperson,
10:38
and this is whether you're in a sales conversation,
10:41
whether you're in the prospecting process, or
10:43
whether you're meeting a new networking connection
10:45
that you're with whom you're going to have a
10:47
great mutually beneficial give and receive win
10:49
-win relationship. It's to take your focus off
10:52
yourself. It's to Put your self -interest to
10:55
the side. That doesn't mean you deny your self
10:57
-interest. It doesn't mean, no, we live in reality.
11:00
We're as subject to human nature as every other
11:02
human, right? But as a professional and as a
11:06
networker, we put our self -interest to the side.
11:09
Put it aside and absolutely make your focus about
11:14
them. That's when the magic happens. And again,
11:19
it comes from an authentic place. You really
11:21
do care. This is golden because you are saying
11:28
and reemphasizing everything that I've always
11:31
believed in and everything I teach, I coach,
11:34
that I train on. And I wish my listeners would
11:39
really pay attention to what you are saying because
11:42
it's golden. You probably tell them the same
11:45
thing, but when someone else says it. It's always
11:48
the same thing with all of us, right? We can
11:50
say something that those we love, but when someone
11:52
else says it, oh, can you believe it? Just ask
11:55
my kids. If I tell them something, right? But
11:58
if somebody else tells them, they're like, oh,
12:01
you know what, dad? Did you hear what he said?
12:03
I'm like, what do you think I've been saying
12:05
for the last? All right. Okay. The term go -giver
12:09
challenges traditional sales and networking mindset.
12:14
What does being a go -giver look like? in a daily
12:18
business transaction. Yeah, so when we say go
12:22
-giver, okay, what we're really, what John David
12:25
Mann and I are really talking about is that person
12:28
who has learned, or perhaps always intuitively
12:31
knew, that shifting your focus, and I think this
12:35
is really the key, that shifting of that focus.
12:39
from getting to giving. Now, when we say giving
12:42
in this context, we simply mean constantly and
12:45
consistently providing immense value to others,
12:48
understanding that doing so is not only a more
12:51
fulfilling way of conducting business, it's the
12:54
most financially profitable way as well. And
12:58
not for any kind of way out there, woo, magical,
13:00
mystical reasons, oh, just give and good things.
13:02
No, it's actually much more rational. When you're
13:07
that person who can take your focus off yourself
13:10
and place it on serving others, discovering what
13:13
they need, what they want, what they desire,
13:16
when you can make it not about you, but about
13:20
helping them to overcome their problems and challenges.
13:24
When you take the focus off yourself and focus
13:27
instead on moving them closer to happiness, now
13:31
people feel good about it. They feel great. about
13:33
you, right? They want to get to know you better.
13:36
They begin to like you and they trust you, right?
13:39
They want to be in a relationship with you. They
13:42
want to do business with you if they need what
13:44
you offer. But here's the thing. They want to
13:46
tell the world about you. They want to be your
13:50
personal walking ambassador. And that's really
13:55
what it looks like when you create those kinds
13:57
of relationships on an ongoing basis. Absolutely.
14:02
And what you said in the beginning was when you
14:05
bring value to them, because with all these LinkedIn
14:09
connections and everything else, the worst thing
14:12
you want is somebody to walk up to you and hand
14:14
you a business card and hand you everything.
14:17
You're not showing them value. So the first two
14:21
or three or even four times that you want to
14:23
connect with somebody, they want to do business
14:25
with, give them something, give them value. You
14:28
know, it's what it shouldn't be that difficult,
14:32
that it should be easy. And actually, it'll be
14:35
quite fulfilling. You bring up a great point,
14:38
too. And when you talk about that value that
14:40
you're giving them. What's always so important,
14:44
and again, I guess this goes back to definitions,
14:46
but it's like, what is value? And often when
14:48
we talk about value, we talk about it in comparison
14:51
to price, because a lot of people, I think, look
14:54
at those as being interchangeable, and they're
14:56
really not. Price is a dollar amount. It's a
14:59
dollar figure. It's finite. It is what it is.
15:01
Now, value is the relative worth. or desirability
15:07
of a thing, of some thing to the end user or
15:11
beholder. In other words, what is it about this
15:14
thing, product, service, concept, idea, what
15:17
have you, that brings so much worth to another
15:19
human being that they will, whether it's exchanging
15:22
money for it or being interested in it or wanting
15:24
to be, whatever it happens to be. And that's
15:27
the key, that value is always in the eyes of
15:31
the beholder. It's not what we think is of value
15:34
or what we think they should think is of value.
15:38
It's what they do. And that's why, as you teach,
15:42
that's why you've got to ask questions and really
15:44
listen. Because we're not them. They're not us.
15:47
So we don't know what they know. Absolutely.
15:51
It's like when you deal with classic cars. You
15:55
may be a Camaro guy, a Mustang guy, and you might
15:57
say, oh, look at that 65 Mustang. It's beautiful.
16:01
I'll pay $30 ,000 for it. And somebody next to
16:05
me would say, I wouldn't pay you more than two
16:07
because it's a car. It's your perception. It's
16:11
how you perceive it. And that is so correct,
16:15
so on point, that as long as you realize it,
16:19
you have to convey that to your... prospective
16:23
clients and you have to we're problem solvers
16:27
you have to see what problem they have so we
16:30
can solve it and you're not going to find that
16:33
out unless you ask those questions and i think
16:36
that's why even in a sales conversation the discovery
16:40
is the most important part Because that's where
16:44
you are discovering their needs, their wants,
16:46
desires, their problems, their challenges, their
16:48
strengths, their weaknesses, their opportunity.
16:50
And being able to really find out what's important
16:53
to them. And it's only from that context that
16:56
you're able to actually communicate value. Absolutely.
17:00
Absolutely. Okay. In a world focused on metrics
17:07
and ROI. How can professionals give value first
17:11
without feeling like they're losing ground or
17:14
being taken advantage of? Okay, so I think there
17:18
are two things there. So let me go to the first
17:21
one first, and if I forget the second part, the
17:23
taking advantage of, just remind me, okay? Okay.
17:25
So the first one is metrics and so forth. And
17:28
people say, so Bob, when you and John talk about
17:30
the go -giver and placing the other person's
17:32
interest first, focusing on value, and one of
17:35
the things John and I say in the follow -up book,
17:37
Go -Givers Sell More, is that money is simply
17:40
an echo of value. It's the thunder, if you will,
17:44
to values lightning, which means the value must
17:46
come first and the money you receive is simply
17:49
a natural result of the value you've provided.
17:52
So people say, so are you saying the metrics
17:54
don't matter? Are you saying goals, you shouldn't
17:56
make goals? Are you saying that there shouldn't
17:58
be? No, we're not saying any of that. All those
18:01
are fine and they serve a terrific purpose. What
18:04
we're saying is nobody's going to buy from you
18:08
because of those metrics and your goals and your...
18:12
KPIs and you're this and you're that. They don't
18:14
care. They don't care. So if your focus is on
18:18
your, so when you put all this together and you
18:20
know that in order to have so many sales happen,
18:23
the chances are you're going to have to have
18:25
X amount of sales conversations, right? And to
18:28
do that, you're going to have to have X amount
18:30
of prospecting calls where you connect with people.
18:33
And for that, you're going to have to make so
18:34
many calls or whatever you do with emails or
18:37
going to me or whatever it happens to be. Okay.
18:39
Fine. Of course. Do those so that the actions
18:42
you need to take, actions are important, but
18:44
what we're saying is they're not buying because
18:46
of that. Okay. They're not going to buy. Yeah.
18:48
So there's no dichotomy between metrics and focusing
18:54
on value to them. No, one works with the other.
18:58
Money is an echo of value. It just means your
19:00
focus must be on them. in order to hit those
19:05
goals and so forth. Now, you talked about being
19:08
taken advantage of, and I think that's like the
19:14
premise being co -giver. It means you're giving
19:16
all the time. Are people going to take advantage
19:18
of you? The short answer is anyone can be taken
19:21
advantage of, and there are people in the world
19:23
who will take advantage of other people, right?
19:25
But there's no natural alignment. between being
19:31
a go -giver and being taken advantage of being
19:35
a go -giver doesn't mean you're setting yourself
19:37
to be taken advantage of being a go -giver simply
19:39
means you understand that your job is to focus
19:43
not on yourself but focus on providing immense
19:45
value to others it doesn't mean you should be
19:48
anyone's doormat it doesn't mean you should be
19:51
a martyr And it doesn't mean you should be self
19:54
-harmful by any means. No, it just means you
19:56
deal with people in such a way that you understand
19:58
your job is to provide them with value. Now,
20:02
if someone finds themselves in a pattern of being
20:08
taken advantage of, then it's important for them
20:14
first to acknowledge that and understand that's
20:17
a thing because we can never overcome a problem
20:19
we don't realize we have. Okay, so we need to
20:22
take the unconscious and make it conscious. If
20:26
that's the case, then it's determining why am
20:29
I doing that? Why am I placing myself in it?
20:33
Because if you're being taken advantage of constantly
20:35
as a pattern, it's not because you're a nice
20:37
person. It's not because you're a giver, okay?
20:40
It's because you're doing things in a certain
20:43
way that is creating an environment and a context
20:46
for people to take advantage of you. So once
20:49
you understand that and recognize it and acknowledge
20:52
it, now it's asking yourselves, and it might
20:55
even be asking a professional counselor to help,
20:57
or a coach, of course, not like yourself, to
21:00
help work through it, okay? And so why is this
21:02
happening? What is it that I have going on in
21:05
my unconscious that's causing me to feel as though
21:09
I deserve to be taken advantage of? unconscious
21:12
payoff am I getting? Is it a way that I can say
21:15
I would be successful, but I give so much and
21:18
all these people take advantage of me? Or is
21:21
it that you're not equipped to know when some,
21:23
again, I don't know. Everyone's different, but
21:26
it's always, nobody gets up in the morning and
21:29
says, hey, I think I'll try to find someone to
21:31
take advantage of me today. No, it's totally
21:34
unconscious, but it needs to be worked through.
21:37
But there's nothing about that aligns with being
21:40
a go -giver. Absolutely. And it can boil down
21:45
to something as simple as body language, what
21:49
you're doing or how you're closing off the other
21:52
person. And it gives them that feeling of distrust
21:55
because to know you, you trust you. That trust
21:58
factor is so important that if you're giving
22:01
off this vibe that you're untrustworthy, no matter
22:05
what you do, you have to change. You have to
22:09
change. Okay. What's the difference between giving
22:14
for reciprocity and giving for impact? How do
22:19
you keep your intentions clean in a results driven
22:21
business world? I think that comes down to what
22:26
John and I. And again, we talk about this in
22:28
Go -Givers Sell More, which is the only book
22:30
in the series that's not a parable. It's more
22:32
of an application guide to the original Go -Giver.
22:36
Because that is a question that comes up a lot,
22:38
and it's a good question. There's a treacherous
22:40
dichotomy, or you could say a false dilemma.
22:42
What is a false dilemma? It's the unnecessary
22:44
use of the word or. We hear that when we're a
22:47
kid. Hey, when you grow up, do you want to be
22:48
wealthy or happy? Yes. It's not an either or.
22:54
And it's a, are you a giver or? Are you a receiver?
22:58
And that would be like saying, hey, do you breathe
23:01
out or do you breathe in? Yes. We breathe out,
23:06
which is giving. We also have to breathe in,
23:08
which is receiving. So the giving of value is
23:12
something, yeah, we do from the heart and we
23:13
do because it's part of us and because we want
23:16
to make a difference in people's lives. And we
23:17
tend to do that through the product or service
23:19
that we're providing. Absolutely. And when we
23:22
do that, when we do that, we open the door. to
23:26
be able to receive. What a great thing that is.
23:30
The key is to give value without attachment to
23:36
the results. Now, some people say give without
23:38
expectation. I think I know what they mean. I
23:41
think more they mean without attachment because
23:43
I want people to have positive expectation. I
23:47
want you to know that if you are genuinely and
23:50
authentically providing value and touching lots
23:53
of people's lives and placing their anchors first
23:56
and coming at it from an authentic, that you've
23:58
created that benevolent context for your success,
24:02
for being able to receive. I want you to expect
24:05
that, but it doesn't have to be from that person
24:07
or any person in particular. But the big thing
24:10
is to do it without attachment to the results.
24:14
What's attachment? It's an emotional demand that
24:17
this happens. That is out of our control. And
24:20
we learn from the Stoics. We focus on what we
24:24
can control. What can we control? The amount
24:26
of value that we touch people's lives with. But
24:30
we also know that as we do this, you can't help
24:35
but have it come back to you. Now, you've got
24:38
to be open to receiving. You've also got to breathe
24:41
in. You can't feel guilty about it. And unfortunately,
24:44
the world around us has provided so many anti
24:47
-prosperity messages. that make one feel guilty
24:52
for earning a lot of money. But if you've earned
24:55
this through providing value to the marketplace,
24:57
that's great. It's wonderful. Absolutely. Actually,
25:02
what you just said goes back to the beginning
25:06
of this podcast when I say you have to go in
25:09
with a servant's heart. It's the same thing.
25:13
No expectations of them giving back to you, but
25:17
you know that they're going to give back to you
25:19
because, listen, if I refer two people and put
25:22
them together, they're going to feel compelled.
25:24
Michael, he referred us, so I should really refer
25:27
him. Well, it really opens them up to just, they
25:31
feel good about you. Again, they feel great about
25:33
you. They know and trust you. And just from their
25:35
own, even from their own self -interest, they
25:39
know this guy's a great guy. He really cares
25:42
about helping me in my business. He's somebody
25:45
I know him, I like him, I can trust him. John
25:47
David Mann and I call it creating the benevolent
25:50
context for your success. And when that's there,
25:54
everything good happens, but you just can't be
25:56
attached to it having to happen. And that's the
25:59
trick. Yep, it sure is. It sure is, you said.
26:03
So you've written extensively about endless referrals.
26:07
That was my first one, yeah. Yep. What's the
26:10
secret to creating a network that continually
26:13
produces opportunities without feeling forced?
26:19
Yeah, I think it's, and when I wrote Endless
26:21
Referrals, and this is back, there's been a few
26:24
different editions out, but the first one's back
26:26
actually in the 90s. That's how long I've been
26:29
around. I almost hate to say that, but yeah,
26:33
I think 1994, Endless Referrals came out. And
26:36
really, I wrote that for, entrepreneurs and sales
26:41
professionals who knew they had a great product
26:44
or service, they knew it brought lots of value
26:46
to their customers, but they didn't necessarily
26:49
feel comfortable or confident going out into
26:53
their local communities. and developing those
26:56
kinds of relationships that you teach that cause
26:59
people to want to do business with them directly
27:02
and or refer them to others. So it was really
27:05
just a how -to guide for them to be able to do
27:08
that confidently by, again, focusing on others,
27:12
having conversations with people where you ask
27:15
them about themselves. And where you developed
27:18
a great and then the follow up system, follow
27:20
through system and developing those no trust
27:23
relationships. And then when you do business
27:26
with them, either directly or they refer you
27:29
to someone else. And again, we need to be able
27:30
to ask in a correct professional way that helps
27:33
them to. And when you do that, it just happens
27:36
that you continually expand the number of people
27:41
who are open to having a sales conversation with
27:45
you. Right. And what happens is the more people
27:48
that you have in that now in that sphere, that
27:53
sphere of influence, both directly and through
27:55
referrals, the more confident you feel. Yeah.
27:59
And you're talking about attachment. You have
28:02
no attachment to people who say no, because it's
28:06
OK. You've got lots of people to talk to. We
28:09
always say, when they say no, you say next. But
28:11
you don't say it out loud. It's probably not
28:13
a good idea. But in your mind, you're thinking,
28:15
okay, it's too bad. You prefer they be interested.
28:20
And if they are, great. But you're not attached
28:23
to it. And when that happens, not only do you
28:26
feel more confident, but they actually find themselves
28:28
more attracted to you as a salesperson. Nobody
28:31
really wants to do business with someone who
28:33
seems to need them too much. But when you are
28:36
okay with their not buying, when you no longer
28:40
have commission breath because you're not worried
28:42
about one person, now they're maybe a little
28:44
more interested and they're wondering why. But
28:46
even if not, it doesn't matter because you have
28:49
that confidence. And so as you're able to continue
28:52
to create new relationships and create referrals
28:56
from the no trust relationships, you have an
28:59
ever expanding sphere of people you can share
29:03
your business with. Absolutely. Absolutely. And
29:07
I consider the networking as my social currency.
29:13
Yeah, as the money, it's not a dollar value,
29:16
but it's the currency that when I go walk into
29:19
a prospective client, I have a certain amount
29:21
of social currency behind me. And I'm not starting
29:25
in a negative, I'm not starting flat. I'm starting
29:28
well above because I've given them value first.
29:33
So that increased my social currency. That's
29:36
my train of thought. But here I say, Trust is
29:41
the currency of networking. What are the fastest
29:46
ways to build it and the quickest ways to lose
29:50
it? The quickest way to build it is to be trustworthy
29:55
and follow through on what you say you're going
29:58
to do. Absolutely. I think when you do that,
30:01
you've got it. And of course, the quickest way
30:03
to lose it, oh my gosh, is to in some way break
30:06
that trust through an action that is just...
30:10
Not in integrity, if you will. Absolutely. In
30:15
other words, you don't come through with what
30:17
you had promised or you say, oh, I forgot all
30:20
about that. Let me get to it. Or you just dismiss
30:22
it and you lose that trust really quick. And
30:27
once you lose it, it's twice as difficult to
30:31
get it back. Oh, sure. So you always want to
30:33
keep your social currency in a positive. Oh,
30:37
yeah. Do digital platforms and AI fit into the
30:42
go -giver philosophy? And can generosity and
30:47
technology truly coexist in networking today?
30:53
It's interesting because when social media started
30:58
to really become a thing, and when was that?
31:00
About 15, 20 years ago? 15 years ago? 20 years
31:03
ago, maybe? About 15, yeah. So I remember one
31:08
of the questions I was often asked was, so Bob,
31:12
with this new technology, can people really create
31:15
relationships online? And one of the ways I'd
31:19
answer is when I first started in sales back
31:22
in the whatever it was, early 80s, what have
31:24
you, I said, I used to use this tool of technology
31:29
to reach out to prospect, create relationships.
31:31
And this technology was called the telephone.
31:37
And the telephone itself gave us an opportunity
31:42
to reach out to people you wouldn't have been
31:44
able to reach out to other than if you had a
31:46
telephone. But just having a telephone didn't
31:49
mean you were going to be able to create a relationship
31:51
with someone. And it was the same with social
31:53
media. Social media gave us an opportunity, I
31:57
think, to reach out and connect with people we
32:01
never would have been able to without social
32:04
media. But that didn't create the relationships.
32:11
That didn't strengthen. It just gave us the opportunity
32:13
to. When we talk about all things being equal,
32:16
people do business with, not with those computers
32:19
they know and trust, but with the people behind
32:22
them. And I think it's the same with AI and with
32:26
whatever else comes down the pike. We use it
32:29
just to say, use money and love people. Instead
32:33
of love money and use people. It's the same thing.
32:36
Use the technology and love people. The technology
32:41
is never the end result. The technology is the
32:44
means to the end. The end is creating a relationship.
32:50
So you utilize it for that purpose, but you don't
32:53
try to make that the purpose. Absolutely. I always
32:57
say that AI is great. for what it does. You use
33:01
it as a tool, something you put in your tool
33:04
belt. And even through Zoom, you have to realize
33:08
that, all right, I'm talking to you, but I have
33:10
to realize that you're a person and that I have
33:14
to deal with you that way. So you're still dealing
33:17
with people. Okay, so what advice do you give
33:20
people who do, I'm sorry, who do give first,
33:24
but feel like their generosity isn't being reciprocated?
33:29
And how do you keep them encouraged? So I would
33:33
say this is a 95 -5 thing. And let me explain
33:37
what I mean. Most of the time when people tell
33:40
me, I'm giving so much value to others, but I'm
33:44
not getting anything back. My first question
33:48
is, are you sure that you're giving value to
33:51
them in a way that they feel is of value? Okay,
33:55
because you might be doing things that you would
33:57
feel is of value, but it doesn't mean they do.
34:01
Okay, so that's the first. And that's 95 % of
34:03
the time when we do a diagnostic, that's it.
34:06
The other 5 % is simply they're not able to receive
34:10
what they have earned. And again, that goes into
34:13
the mental state and the emotional state and
34:16
so forth. But most of the time, it is that they're
34:18
thinking they're giving. And if they're calling
34:22
themselves generous, they're probably not. Very
34:25
good. Yes, correct. Correct. Okay, let's bring
34:30
this podcast full circle. If every listener applied
34:33
one principle from work starting today, what
34:37
long -term shift do you believe they could make
34:40
in their business and their life? Oh, I think
34:44
that if you totally embrace The fact that and
34:49
Dale Carnegie said this in his classic How to
34:51
Win Friends and Influence People almost 90 years
34:53
ago now or whatever. And I love I thought this
34:56
sentence was the underlying premise of his entire
35:00
book, entire teaching. And it's where he said,
35:02
ultimately, people do things for their reasons,
35:06
not our reasons. If we will embrace that element
35:10
of human nature and know that we must focus on
35:14
them. and make it about them. We're nine steps
35:20
ahead of the game in a 10 -step game. Absolutely.
35:25
Absolutely. Wow. What a masterclass in connection,
35:29
generosity, and purpose. A huge thank you to
35:33
Bob Berg for joining us and reminding us that
35:36
success isn't about what we get from others,
35:39
but what we give them that makes the difference.
35:43
If you loved today's episode, share it with someone
35:46
in your network who needs a little inspiration
35:48
to give more, connect deeper, and grow stronger.
35:51
And remember, networking isn't a numbers game.
35:55
It's a value game. Until next time, I'm Michael
35:59
Foreman, and this is Networking Unleashed, building
36:02
profitable connections. Stay connected, stay
36:05
generous, and keep turning those conversations
36:07
into profit. Bob, before we leave, I want to
36:12
ask you, if somebody wanted to get hold of you,
36:16
whether just to talk about the book or to be
36:18
coached or given something to go on a straight,
36:21
give a direction, where should they contact you?
36:25
Yeah, best place is Berg. And while they're there,
36:27
if they'd like, they can subscribe to my weekly
36:30
or my daily impact newsletter that I send out
36:33
five times a week. I want to know that. After
36:37
I connected with you, that was the first thing
36:40
I did. Oh, thank you. And I read it every day.
36:44
Every day. And it's something, each day is better
36:48
than the last. If you're looking for something
36:51
on a daily basis. Just subscribe to that newsletter.
36:55
Bob, I cannot thank you enough for coming on
36:58
this podcast. I gained so much knowledge. I realized
37:01
that we are so much on the same level, not same
37:05
level. You're far. No, we absolutely are. Absolutely.
37:09
Same level, same wavelength. And we're all learning
37:11
from one another. Yes, we are. I thank you so
37:14
much for coming on. Thank you, Michael. Well,
37:20
hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere. Let's hear
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from our sponsors. David Neal, co -founder Revved
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connections for you. You can contact Henry at
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561 -427 -4888. A huge thank you to our guests
38:16
for sharing such insights today. And of course,
38:20
a big shout out to you, our amazing listeners,
38:23
for tuning in and spending your time with us.
38:26
If you're interested in my digital courses, being
38:29
coached or having me come and talk to your company,
38:32
just go to Michael and fill out the request form.
38:36
Remember, networking isn't about being perfect.
38:40
It's about being present. So take what you've
38:43
learned today, get out there and make some meaningful
38:46
connections. If you've enjoyed this episode,
38:49
please don't forget to subscribe. Leave us a
38:52
review and share it with someone who could use
38:54
a little networking inspiration. Let's keep the
38:58
conversation going. You can find me on Apple,
39:01
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39:06
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