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What role does self-reflection play? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

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  SPEAKER_00: A fear of commitment in romantic relationships is more common than people think, and for many, it comes with a lot of confusion, especially when there are genuine feelings for the other person.
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  SPEAKER_00: Self-reflection plays a really important role here because fear of commitment rarely comes out of nowhere, as there's usually a story behind it, and getting curious about that story is often where things start to shift.
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  SPEAKER_00: Self-reflection in this context means slowing down enough to look honestly at your own patterns, thoughts, and experiences without judgment.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's about asking yourself some honest questions rather than just reacting to the fear or pushing it away.
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  SPEAKER_00: And some useful questions to sit with might be what have past relationships taught me about trust or safety?
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  SPEAKER_00: What does commitment actually bring up for me?
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  SPEAKER_00: And where does that come from?
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  SPEAKER_00: And what will things look like if fear wasn't driving the decision?
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  SPEAKER_00: And these questions are there to help you understand yourself better because when you can see where your fear comes from, whether that's a painful experience in a past relationship, patterns you grow up around, or a worry about losing your independence, you're in a much better position to work with it rather than be controlled by it.
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  SPEAKER_00: And self-awareness is a starting point for this change.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, one of the most practical ways to do this kind of self-reflection is through journaling.
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  SPEAKER_00: Writing things down slows your thinking, helps you notice patterns and gives you something to return to.
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  SPEAKER_00: And if sitting with a blank page feels daunting, then start with just one question and see what comes up for you.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it can also be worth being honest with your partner about where you're at.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now that doesn't mean having all the answers, but sharing something of what you're experiencing can help ease the pressure and open up a more honest conversation between you both.
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  SPEAKER_00: And if you notice the same fears or patterns showing up repeatedly in different relationships, then that's worth paying attention to, as repeated patterns are often a sign that something underneath needs more space and attention than self-reflection alone can offer.
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  SPEAKER_00: And if fear of commitment is significantly affecting your relationships or your well-being, speaking to a therapist can be really helpful.
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  SPEAKER_00: As therapy gives you a supportive space to explore what's driving the fear, work through past experiences, and build a clearer sense of what you actually want.
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  SPEAKER_00: And for more support on this, you can take a look at the resources available in the app.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are thinking about harming yourself or feeling unsafe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emergency service or a crisis helpline.