Latest / Stream of Consciousness with Dan: Stories from the Midwest / Stream of Consciousness #56 - Magic Barclay

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Stream of Consciousness #56 - Magic Barclay · Stream of Consciousness with Dan: Stories from the Midwest

0:00
SPEAKER_00: All right, everyone.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: We are live with Stream of Consciousness with Dan.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: Today I'm joined by Magic Barkley, an instructor of PNEI of trauma and the lead practitioner at Holistic Natural Health Australia.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: She hosts her own podcast as well.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: Magic's work is rooted in something incredibly powerful.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: She rebuilt her life after surviving childhood trauma, abusive relationships, chronic stress, and years of physical and emotional hardship.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: And instead of letting those experiences define her, she turned them into a mission to help others heal.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: Magic, thanks so much for being here today.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: How are you doing?
0:47
SPEAKER_02: I'm really good.
0:48
SPEAKER_02: And thank you so much for having me.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: No, absolutely.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: I thank you.
0:53
SPEAKER_00: I think this will be an incredibly powerful episode for everyone.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: And just so everyone knows, we are literally, I don't know if we could be further apart geographically right now, but uh it's gonna be it's gonna be awesome.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: So I know, like I said in the intro, you've lived through a lot and you've done a tremendous amount of work to understand and heal from it.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh so I I really would just like to start off when someone asks you about your journey, where do you like to begin?
1:29
SPEAKER_02: I mean, every beginning starts in childhood, especially when we're talking about chronic illness.
1:35
SPEAKER_02: And so for me, my childhood wasn't like most kids.
1:40
SPEAKER_02: Um my parents got divorced when I was three, and it was quite an acrimonious divorce.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: So my my brother and I, we were like the human ping-pong balls going backwards and forwards, unable to establish relationships.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: Obviously, the parental relationship that we observed wasn't healthy either.
2:02
SPEAKER_02: Um, and we found it hard to make friends, so we stuck together a lot.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: My brother was a little bit better at making friends, mainly because um well, we now know he has undiagnosed Asperger's.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, but back then he was quirky, so he attracted people that were natural caregivers.
2:22
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, there's always the kids in the school ground that want to look after other kids, and so he would attract them.
2:29
SPEAKER_02: Uh, myself, I didn't need that, so I was uh, you know, a little bit more forthright, and that alienated a lot of people my own age.
2:39
SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, look at you know, we have to go back to childhood, and when we have a childhood like this, and then we have chronic illness in adulthood, the two are so closely linked, and we're now just discovering with the work with PNEI that this is the case.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, could you elaborate a little bit on what PNEI stands for?
3:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so PNEI is psychoneuroendoimmunology.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: So of all 13 systems of the body, those four are the most closely linked.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: They all work together, but these four now have been given this pathway name because we can see so psycho is the limbic brain, it's your emotional center, it's the center of the brain, and we can see that now feeds the nervous system, so the N, which feeds the endocrine system, which is the E, and it results in the immune system, which is the eye.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: And this is where we can see polyautoimmunity coming into play.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: Now, the three-year-old me that was very unhappy with really crappy family, that's the only technical term to give it, um, had no idea she would have polyautoimmunity, which is multiple autoimmune conditions, and you know, it was a matter of survival back then.
4:02
SPEAKER_02: And when we're talking survival, we're talking the reptilian brain.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: So at the base of the brain, it's what keeps us alive.
4:09
SPEAKER_02: So as we're talking on this podcast now, my reptilian brain is scouring through my office.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: Is something going to hurt me, kill me?
4:20
SPEAKER_02: Is something going to happen?
4:22
SPEAKER_02: Your reptilian brain's doing the same for you, and the listeners' reptilian brains are doing the same wherever they are, whatever they're doing.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: And this is something that goes on the background 24-7, even while we're asleep.
4:34
SPEAKER_02: And so this then signals the limbic brain in the center of our brain, and that's where our thoughts, feelings, and emotions come from.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: Now, the limbic brain then feeds the logical brain, which makes decisions for us.
4:47
SPEAKER_02: So, decisions, actions, that's the logical brain.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: But here, the one that we're looking at is the limbic brain.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: So three-year-old me didn't feel safe.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: My reptilian brain was telling my limbic brain she's not safe, and so then I was creating thoughts, feelings, and emotions, not necessarily conscious, but one of the ones that came up for me when I started learning about all this was, you know, we all have the I'm not worthy, but it's I'm not lovable because my parents didn't love me, because my friends didn't love me.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: I struggled to make friends, you know, because my teachers didn't love me, because I was acting out, so I'm not lovable, came from there, and that followed me through to adulthood with you know really abusive relationships and not being able to connect.
5:44
SPEAKER_02: And so when we're looking at childhood, this is another factor.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, we dismiss childhood trauma, and we really shouldn't.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: Now, on the flip side of childhood trauma, we have a thing called ACEs, uh, adverse childhood experiences, and acres, adverse childhood relationship experiences.
6:08
SPEAKER_02: Now, obviously, that was coming into play for me for the rest of my life back when I was three, but unaddressed aces can actually lead to death, and there's a lot of scientific information and research and studies out there now that what happens to you in childhood can cause early death in early adulthood, mid-adulthood.
6:32
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, it's really a field that we need to look at.
6:36
SPEAKER_02: And you can see now with the explanation of ACEs just how P and EI can become so powerful.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: So let me give you an a really good example of P and EI so that you and the listeners can get a comprehension of just how powerful it is.
6:54
SPEAKER_02: Now we love podcasting, right?
6:56
SPEAKER_02: So we're good for yeah, but a lot of people aren't.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: If you ask them to give a talk to, say, 35,000 people, there's gonna be a whole lot of stuff going on, right?
7:07
SPEAKER_02: So the P might be I can't talk to people, I can't get up in front of people, I can't talk to that many people, I won't be any good.
7:16
SPEAKER_02: Like the limbic brain will make a di a few decisions here.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: Now that will feed the end, the nervous system.
7:23
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, getting closer to the date of the talk on the stage, they might start getting tingly fingers, back pain, tingly toes, headaches.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: This is all the nervous system trying to keep you safe because the message from the limbic brain is whatever your decision about giving the talk is, you're not safe.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: Right?
7:47
SPEAKER_02: You can't do it, you'll fail, whatever, it's not safe.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: So the nervous system picks up the you're not safe and it tries to stop you giving the talk because you're not safe, right?
7:59
SPEAKER_02: There's no actual danger of giving the talk yet.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: Now, get closer to it, maybe the day of the endocrine system pops in, and all of a sudden you're sweaty and clammy and dizzy and nauseous, and all of this is going on because you're not safe.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: But you have to give the talk, so you keep rolling on.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: Morning of all of a sudden you can't talk.
8:23
SPEAKER_02: You've got laryngitis, sore throat, head cold, something's going on.
8:28
SPEAKER_02: You feel like the worst flu in the world is about to start.
8:31
SPEAKER_02: You know, that feeling of full head, heavy head, sinusy, all of that.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: The P and EI has swung into full capability now.
8:42
SPEAKER_02: All four systems have told you you're not safe.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: There's actually no threat in giving the talk.
8:49
SPEAKER_02: You may fail, you may succeed, but there's no threat to any of those systems directly.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: What they've done is try to keep you safe, and this is where we need to look at childhood trauma, late trauma, any kind of trauma, it's going to trigger this P NEI.
9:09
SPEAKER_02: And trauma from chronic illness does exactly the same thing.
9:13
SPEAKER_02: And so it's all to keep you safe.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: That was just beautifully put.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: It just brings up actually a perfect example of something I experienced when I was going through my master's degree.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: We had to give an hour and a half long presentation on our own.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: And obviously now I'm sitting here talking to you doing a podcast, but uh public speaking was not really my forte or something I um particularly looked forward to, if you will.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I experienced all of kind of that chronolog uh chronological, you know, things you described where you know I'm nervous about the speech, and then like the day or two before, I'm kind of you know, I'm all antsy, and then the day of I'm nauseous, I'm clammy, I'm all that.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: I I was able to give the speech, but it is a good example of just kind of that whole process.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: So that was really neat to hear, and how we can explore, you know, how to help that.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: Um and if you don't mind me backing up just a second, so you talked about you know having a difficult childhood.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: Did you have a I don't know, a hobby or a coping mechanism to get you through that?
10:34
SPEAKER_00: Because at that such a young age, you know, your parents are going through a divorce, you feel alone.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh so just kind of how did you get through that as a child?
10:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, look, I was really blessed to have two very wonderful women in my life, my aunt and my grandma, my nana.
10:53
SPEAKER_02: Um, actually I had three wonderful grandparents, but one of my grandmas was I guess the one that pulled me through.
11:02
SPEAKER_02: So my aunt was my godmother, and every time I would spend time with her, you know, she would teach me things like cooking or show me things in her garden.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, really just accept me for me.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: And then my grandparents, my paternal grandmother, I would see every week on a sat day, and I can still remember it now.
11:29
SPEAKER_02: We would have stewed apples with custard every Saturday morning.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: And that was her way of let's sit at the kitchen table and download what do you need to talk about?
11:40
SPEAKER_02: No judgment.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: And then my maternal grandparents, uh, my grandfather, my papa, I was his golden grandchild, thank goodness, because uh yeah, someone had to believe in me back then, and he certainly did.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: And I was the only girl in my generation and the last grandchild.
12:00
SPEAKER_02: So I got kind of let to do whatever I wanted.
12:03
SPEAKER_02: And you know, to give you an example, he used to play bowls, lawn bowls, and he'd have his like is that like bowling but on the lawn, right?
12:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
12:14
SPEAKER_02: It's really big in Australia, yeah.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: Um so they wear this white outfit with you know a white hat, and he would always have it crisp and starched and bleached and in the cupboard down um at the front door of their flat.
12:31
SPEAKER_02: And I would come in from outside, covered in mud, get the hat down and jump all over it.
12:38
SPEAKER_02: Now, if any of my cousins or my brother had done that, they wouldn't be walking for like weeks, they would be swaddled so hard on the backside.
12:49
SPEAKER_02: He would come up to me and he'd go, Well, if you're gonna make the mess, you'd better learn how to clean it, go see your nana.
12:54
SPEAKER_02: And so I would have to then clean it, starch it, you know, bleach it, the whole thing.
13:00
SPEAKER_02: And then my nana, um, my maternal grandmother, was a very quiet lady.
13:08
SPEAKER_02: She hardly said anything unless she needed to.
13:11
SPEAKER_02: And I remember one day I said the word damn, and before I knew it, I was being dragged to the laundry room outside by my ear.
13:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, we had a soap here in Australia back in the time called velvet soap, and it was like a soap for everything.
13:27
SPEAKER_02: You could use it on your body, your hair, your clothes, and it smelt terrible.
13:32
SPEAKER_02: Before I knew it, I had a velvet soap bar put in my mouth.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: I bet you I bet you didn't say damn for a while.
13:39
SPEAKER_02: Not for a while.
13:40
SPEAKER_02: I did try it again about a year later, and the same thing happened, and I went, oh, this is a great example of keep doing the same thing, keep getting the same result.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: So um, she was very strict, and and again, she said there's consequences in life.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: You're going to swear, you're going to get the velvet soap.
14:00
SPEAKER_02: And so she had a harsh side, but she also had the most loving, adorable side.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: And she taught me about herbs and she taught me about cooking.
14:09
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, I still have a very fond memory, and I tell all my clients this one that a way we can reroute the PNEI when it's happening is by bringing back a scent that means something.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: And so for me it's dill because she taught me how to make dill pickled cucumbers, and I was knee-hide or grasshopper, so I was standing on a like a kitchen stool next to her at the bench, and we were, you know, tearing up dill that she'd grown in her garden, and that is one of the happiest times of my life.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: Even in all of the trauma and turmoil of everything else in my life, I can still remember being in the kitchen tearing up dill leaves, and so that takes me back.
14:53
SPEAKER_02: So now if I find myself in a traumatic situation, I get some dill oil or fresh dill, which I do grow myself, and I just put it in my hands, rub it together, and then cup it over my face, and I'm instantly back in the safe kitchen with my nana.
15:10
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, that was my coping mechanism was having these wonderful people in my life, uh, particularly my nana and my auntie.
15:21
SPEAKER_02: Um they just accepted me for me, and no one ever judged me, and you know, they never talked about what was going on in my family to me because it wasn't necessary.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: We would be revisiting trauma if we did that.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, it was like, here, try this.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: This will take your mind off everything.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: And so I was blessed to have those people in my life.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's beautiful.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: It is it is absolutely crazy how much scent um plays a part.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: I was telling a story uh to a musician I was interviewing.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: So in college, the big thing, and I know it wasn't good for me, but we would go to the hookah bar.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you're familiar with what that is.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: Yes, we have those here.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but uh it was owned by a Middle Eastern gentleman, and he just made these incredible sandwiches like Middle Eastern sandwiches.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what was in them, I just remember devouring them in college, but it like always would bring me back to a time where I'm like I'm with my friends, we're hanging out, we're eating good food.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: It's so yeah, it's just amazing how much scent plays a part in how we feel.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, that's awesome.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: And I'm glad at least you had those people in your lives to keep you grounded.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I kind of want to say on a positive note before we get a little deeper, just because I want to learn a little bit more about you and your culture.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: So being from Australia, I guess what does that mean to you?
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Because like I said, it's a world away from me.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: But so what what does it mean to be Australian?
17:02
SPEAKER_02: Wow, this is very topical here in Australia at the moment.
17:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, I am a very proud Australian, Aussie, we call ourselves.
17:14
SPEAKER_02: For me, it means accepting of all people, but it means supporting Australian ways and culture.
17:21
SPEAKER_02: So putting a snag on the Barbie, and I'll translate that putting a sausage on the barbecue or the grill.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
17:29
SPEAKER_02: Um spending Australia Day celebrating our country.
17:33
SPEAKER_02: For you guys in America, you have um July 4th.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: We have Australia Day in January.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: Uh celebrating the fact that we are a self-made country built on the back of our farmers.
17:48
SPEAKER_02: So celebrating our farmers and really appreciating them.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: Um recently we've had some bushfires in my area about five weeks ago now.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: And two weeks after, as soon as the roads were open, my son and I collected donations and uh from butchers and from local groceries and farmers, and we raided our own freezers and we took over a thousand dollars worth of meat.
18:16
SPEAKER_02: We took some fencing wire, we took some fuel cans, uh, filled fuel cans up to the fire affected areas so that people could rebuild fences, feed their communities who had lost everything, and that's the Aussie way.
18:29
SPEAKER_02: So we're very proud of that, supporting people in need.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: Um, being Australian means assimilating to Australian culture.
18:41
SPEAKER_02: We wear thongs.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: In the US, they're called flip-flops.
18:45
SPEAKER_02: Um we wear short shorts in summer and tank tops.
18:48
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's just the way it is.
18:50
SPEAKER_02: We're not we're not pretentious.
18:52
SPEAKER_02: And being an Aussie is very important to me.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: I start to worry about Australia now because my family were immigrants.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: My grandparents came over as very, very young babies from Russia.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: Um most, yeah, most of my family, um, the extended family scattered all around the world in World War II.
19:20
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, everyone that came back to Australia to regroup were immigrants, and at no point did we put our birth culture ahead of being Aussie.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: And this is something my grandparents taught me.
19:36
SPEAKER_02: They were very proud of, you know, who they were and where they came from, and um but they were Aussie.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, it's a matter of you assimilate to the country that you've come to.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: I fear that that's not happening in Australia anymore, and in fact, a lot of Aussies are now being told by the government you have to be ashamed of being Australian, that you should make allowances for everyone else coming into the country.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: Now, I was born Jewish.
20:07
SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm not Jewish anymore, but I was born Jewish, and I remember being at primary school, every Tuesday we would have a class called RE, religious education, and I was always excused from it because it was Christian religion, and so I would get sent to the library.
20:24
SPEAKER_02: And I remember I was about eight or nine, and a Persian girl came to our school.
20:32
SPEAKER_02: They immigrated to Australia under the war conditions, it was becoming Iraq then, and or Iran, one of those, sorry.
20:41
SPEAKER_02: I don't know my geography.
20:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's okay.
20:43
SPEAKER_02: But it's Persia, Persia, anyway.
20:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so the Persian girl and the Jewish girl were in the library together, best of mates, during religious education sessions.
20:53
SPEAKER_02: And that's being Aussie.
20:55
SPEAKER_02: That's accepting everyone else, assimilating as best you can, and just being kind.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: Now, in today's atmosphere in Australia, the Persian girl and the Jewish girl would never be friends, like it it just wouldn't be done.
21:14
SPEAKER_02: She would be told to be so proud of her culture that she shouldn't ever assimilate, and you know, I would be told that I'm the devil because I'm Jewish and you know live in fear because that's what's going on here at the moment.
21:28
SPEAKER_02: And you know, I I just thank goodness that back in the 70s we were Aussie.
21:34
SPEAKER_02: She was Aussie, I was Aussie, our classmates were Aussie.
21:38
SPEAKER_02: You know, we all celebrated Australia Day, we all sang then God save the Queen every morning at school.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, it's not like that now.
21:49
SPEAKER_02: So um I am a very proud Aussie.
21:52
SPEAKER_02: I fly my Australian flag, I also fly the Southern Cross flag, which is a historical flag here in Australia.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: uh which signifies the miners fight in the gold fields and fighting for their rights and liberties.
22:07
SPEAKER_02: Uh and I truly believe in fighting for our rights and liberties, but I believe in I'm Aussie and no one's going to take that away from me.
22:16
SPEAKER_02: Um I'm very proud of my country.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: I'm very proud of my farmers.
22:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm proud of my ancestors.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm proud of the miners.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: I'm you know I'm very proud of every person in Australian history that fought for Australian life.
22:32
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, sorry.
22:34
SPEAKER_02: Soapbox?
22:34
SPEAKER_02: I'll get off that now.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: No, no, I I was just getting a little emotional because I mean I I feel the same way and that's exactly why I started this podcast is to be proud of where you come from and bring people together.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: Tear down walls, don't build them up, accept people.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: I've interviewed African Americans, I've interviewed homosexuals, I've interviewed people from Canada, from Ireland.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: Just I want to shrink my goal is to just like to shrink to shrink the world and like we're all people and we need to be proud of where we come from.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: We will have our differences but just yeah treat each other with respect and and be proud.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: So I just I just got a little emotional there because it just resonated so clearly with me.
23:27
SPEAKER_00: So I really appreciate you sharing that.
23:29
SPEAKER_02: My pleasure and just on the flip side of that what I don't like is people coming to countries particularly like Australia and not assimilating to Australian culture.
23:42
SPEAKER_02: Telling us that we need to adhere to their ways that they've just brought in that's not how it is.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: And it's happening in most um westernized countries around the world now and you know you can bring your particular faith to the country but you're coming to that country for a reason and you know what I'm seeing unfortunately is people not coming to Australia for good reasons.
24:10
SPEAKER_02: They're coming to Australia to change Australia and that's just not okay.
24:14
SPEAKER_02: You want your faith and your culture that's fine but if you're coming to my country you need to try to be an Aussie don't force your beliefs down my throat my neighbor's throat down a street's throat no I completely agree with that.
24:35
SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna get a little deeper so we kind of talked about your childhood what was like your next step um you know maybe uh after high school or college or kind of uh what did the next step in your journey look like so the next step in my journey was teenagehood um in high school uh I'm not sure what you guys call it over there but anyway I was an alcoholic um I didn't know how to deal with what was going on in my life in a healthy way so I remember year 11 which is like second last year of high school and again I don't know what that translates to that's it that that's exactly the same.
25:16
SPEAKER_02: Okay um so I remember being so blind drunk at lunchtime that I went to my biology class and as I was walking into the classroom I smacked my head into the door I just couldn't even walk straight um I still aced the class I don't know how but I I was self-medicating with alcohol very early on um I started dating people older than me um yeah I started sleeping around I was just on a path of self-destruction um no plan for life basically and then I remember on my 21st birthday I was living in another state in Australia and we had an airline called Compass at the time and they would do mystery flights and so you would rock up at the airport not know where you're going and they'd blindfold you and there's no announcements on the flight and then you just end up somewhere.
26:15
SPEAKER_02: Well all I remember from this mystery flight on my 21st birthday was getting a drink served to me on the plane which was a Vodcoran orange because I was a vodka drinker and then two or three days later waking up at my house in Adelaide and there was a Vodcorn raspberry on the table next to me and that's all I remember.
26:36
SPEAKER_02: I was that drunk the whole time so you know here I was I was quite promiscuous I was an alcoholic and I was just numbing my life because I just didn't know you know what the plan was I'd studied and I was doing very well in my career but I wasn't fulfilled by it um whether that's because I was drunk most of the time possibly in hindsight but yeah I then went on to find a passion and that was Formula One racing.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: And oh my god hell yeah yeah so I met I'm a huge Formula One fan.
27:19
SPEAKER_02: I was not so much anymore but that's I am for another podcast oh man yeah so through Formula One I met one of the most amazing people in my life and he encouraged me to find direction and in doing so I recommitted to my um career at the time in hospitality and I moved back to Melbourne because the Grand Prix was leaving Adelaide where I was living and it was coming back to Melbourne where I'd come from so I followed the Grand Prix with work and then realized I wanted to race cars myself.
28:00
SPEAKER_02: So I said to this very wonderful gentleman uh I want to race cars and he said I'll help you get a race car then so I bought a little Formula V race car I wasn't fantastic at it I did well considering it was a male sport um but you know I was racing against guys that have been racing since they were four or five and here I was you know 26 and I've just started my racing career.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: So it was fun.
28:32
SPEAKER_02: I kind of left my career so I could just focus on racing.
28:38
SPEAKER_02: I threw myself into learning marketing so I was getting sponsors and things like that.
28:42
SPEAKER_02: So it wasn't all coming out of my pocket.
28:44
SPEAKER_02: And look to be honest I didn't have a plan because beyond 21 I was pretty sure I was going to drink myself to death and that was it.
28:53
SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately I met the wrong person because I didn't know how to form relationships properly and I married that person very very quickly and before I knew it was pregnant three times and uh so racing was gone and then I became a mum and I felt like I found my calling as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my first son I stopped drinking and just went cold turkey unfortunately damage was already done to my body the constant stress I'd been you know living with for over a quarter of a decade was piling up and so as soon as I got pregnant I started gaining weight and not in a healthy way.
29:36
SPEAKER_02: Three pregnancies later two kids later um here I was morbidly obese and so I had to reconfigure my life again and you know I really threw myself into parenthood motherhood because I hadn't seen that at home but I knew it was possible because my auntie and my grandmas had taught me you know how to parent and so I still live with my sons now they're in their 20s uh mid-twenties and they're my best friends and I'm their best friend but I'm their mum and we have a very healthy relationship the three of us and uh you know I I put that I look back and I think all the work that I put in with them has paid off.
30:25
SPEAKER_02: You know every mum says their kids are great kids but my kids are great kids and they're my best friends and we all support each other.
30:33
SPEAKER_02: So you know I found my calling in being a mum uh I then obviously with my weight I was spurred on to look into why why can I not lose weight?
30:44
SPEAKER_02: What is going on?
30:46
SPEAKER_02: And so I started my own gym I did all my fitness qualifications and you know that was a little bit uh nerve-wracking being in a group of fitness students and you're the only person that's big but you're capable um but you know I put all that chatter in my head aside and got all my qualifications opened up a special populations gym so I could cater for people like me people that didn't want mirrors because they don't want to see the size they are they just want to work out and people with disabilities because my sons have disabilities and you know all the people older people that don't fit into a normal gym so I did that and uh closed that down when my kids and I moved back to Melbourne um my divorce was pending and I was sick and I was sick to the point of I couldn't get out of bed and my kids were on the end of the bed playing with Legos and I thought this isn't okay what's going on and you know my autoimmune was rearing its ugly head in a big way so I found a doctor that I actually trusted he was straight out of um school very new unjaded by his industry and he said we need to do some testing I think you've got a disease called Cushing's disease which is an adrenal disorder um I think you've got you know XYZ as well and turns out he was right on everything plus I had cancer and here we were at the health culmination of the past 40 years and you know all the things that I knew weren't going to serve me in the future but they were my coping mechanisms had come full circle and my body was basically in a lot of trouble.
32:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah well that is a it's very powerful I really appreciate you sharing that um so I I I guess where I really want to go from here is like you've mentioned you know you're going through all your health issues um I've struggled with mental health and particularly I have chronic depression and I've had it for a long time and it's kind of hard or at least historically it was hard for me to ask for help and knowing you need support, you know whether that's medically or emotionally so just for people who are going through whatever they're going through whether it's you know you with your you know major physical health problems or me or anyone else out there with mental health problems what what advice would you give them to just not be afraid to ask for help first of all your diagnosis is just a label that's really important to know it's not who you are it's not what makes you you it's just a label the first thing is detach from the label realize who you are now that was the only thing that got me through was I am me.
33:57
SPEAKER_02: I'm not my conditions I'm not just a mum I'm not just an ex-wife I'm not just a friend I'm not just a daughter and I'm not my conditions who am I inside that's what I need to look at and what I need to reconnect with.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: So that's the first thing the second thing is it's your body and it's your mind so unfortunately the mainstream medical community have this godlike power over people and you can get a blood test or whatever and you have to beg for the results that's not okay right that's your body so take ownership of that and no matter what you're dealing with just those two things alone will help uh it's really important to comprehend that this is a moment in time when we have an illness be it physical or mental illness it's a moment in time it's not defining your whole life and you know I'm really good looking back at my history I've always been really good at this is a moment in time you know it was a moment in time that my family was crappy it was a moment in time that I was making strange kind of friends at school it was a moment in time that I dropped my career and went racing it was a moment in time that I decided to become a mum and be really good at it.
35:24
SPEAKER_02: And it was a moment in time that I opened the gym and it's a moment in time that I addressed my health and went other people need to learn this too.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to throw myself into this right there all moments in time yes they all mean something but I'm not living in them and so when we're looking at our health we need to say I'm not living in this is just now things are going to get better for me and I'm gonna work towards it.
35:53
SPEAKER_02: And just by doing that you're detaching from that ownership that your condition has over you.
35:59
SPEAKER_00: No absolutely that that's wonderful advice because that took me I mean probably five years to even tell someone that you know I uh had depression.
36:15
SPEAKER_00: Because I I mean kind of like you when you were going through your alcoholism you were still you know very successful in school and things like that and I kind of experienced the same thing.
36:24
SPEAKER_00: So on the outside people are saying this successful person but I'm going through you know something that they don't really understand.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: So no I really appreciated that that insight for sure yeah and look my pleasure you know there's a very good example um in the public eye and that's Robin Williams someone who was fighting mental health issues for a very long time and yet outwardly to the world the funniest guy the happiest guy you know everyone could rely on him to lift them up and he couldn't fight his own battle there and so you know we need to go look there's no shame in being unwell I don't know what it's like over in the US in Australia we have a condition called tall poppy syndrome if you're doing well for yourself someone will knock you down but on the flip side if you're not well someone will probably try and pick on you.
37:27
SPEAKER_02: People are jerks that that's just the way it is what other people say do react feel is not your problem.
37:36
SPEAKER_02: Your problem is you you've got to look after yourself and you know so this is something I learned with multiple autoimmune disorders was what other people think and say about me actually has nothing to do with me.
37:52
SPEAKER_02: What my mission now is is to find a re find an answer to get well I had the reason it was my kids uh but find the answer to get well and that doesn't involve anyone else so you know I had to you know pull up my strides and and get on with it and I think we need to stop relying on other people for all of the answers and all of the actions so just take this pill and you'll be fine well no you know particularly antidepressants what's one of the major side effects of an antidepressant it's depression so you know it's there on the packet on the label so you know we have to take ownership and we have to say okay what am I doing now and what am I going to work on to make the changes to support me and so this is where my work comes into play with my clients first thing I do is I say your label is just a label.
38:52
SPEAKER_02: It's not who you are it's not what you are it's not what makes you tick.
38:57
SPEAKER_00: Well absolutely um yeah you definitely have to take ownership of your actions and just your lifestyle as well like sometimes like I don't remember the exact analogy you said but what we say over here is uh you know just grab yourself by the bootstraps and and work and you know control what you can control I guess if that makes sense.
39:25
SPEAKER_00: So yeah so no I really want to give you the floor to talk about your books because I would love to at least purchase one of them and maybe talk about how each is unique and what inspired you to write them.
39:39
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
39:40
SPEAKER_02: So the first book I did was self-published and it was called Gut Recovery in Whole Foods.
39:47
SPEAKER_02: My kids are both on the autism spectrum back before it became really popular.
39:52
SPEAKER_02: Don't know why it's popular but anyway and their behaviour was off the charts when they ate certain foods so I started scouring magazines for recipes and converting them to a way that I was using whole foods but still enjoying the recipe and able to help my kids with controlling their own behavior.
40:15
SPEAKER_02: So that was my first one I printed a hundred of them sold a hundred and uh sold 98 so I've got two here at home and um you know that that was good.
40:28
SPEAKER_02: My kids made the recipes with me we photographed everything like it was fun.
40:32
SPEAKER_02: It was fun and I thought oh I've got a taste for books now.
40:36
SPEAKER_02: So my second one was the Complete Health series volume two there was a a trend a fad here in Australia of you know some guy would call you and say hey I want you to write a chapter for my compilation book and so I did that and in that chapter I spoke about loss and about mental illness and about disability and um I focused on a story and I'll just give a very brief synopsis here my son went to a special needs school my youngest son and one of the mentors there had quite a nasty disability and um this young man ended up taking his own life threw himself in front of a train and it was how we dealt with the loss how my son dealt with losing his mentor and you know then looking at what could have been done differently.
41:34
SPEAKER_02: So I was very proud of that chapter.
41:37
SPEAKER_02: So now I'm you know hungry for books.
41:40
SPEAKER_02: So then I self-published another one about body dysmorphia um it's called Bring the Hidden Enemy Out of the Shadows and I sold that out to all the people that I knew as well and so I've got body dysmorphia post being morbidly obese and uh yeah so that was important to talk about.
42:01
SPEAKER_02: And then I went to a writer's course and I learned about how to actually publish a book properly and so I wrote Stop being fat love yourself skinny now this is a weight loss book that's not about weight loss it's about mental health and it's about recognizing who you are and all the things that we've been talking about today.
42:20
SPEAKER_02: And it's talking about your weight is just a number and why are you the weight that you are so that one is still available worldwide on Amazon.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: It's called Stop Being Fat Love Yourself Skinny and I'm really proud of that that went bestseller in the first two hours of being published on Amazon.
42:40
SPEAKER_02: It's a few years old that's incredible yeah it's a few years old now but it's still good information and there's been plans to write more books since then but they just haven't happened.
42:52
SPEAKER_02: You know the world's turned upside down in the past six years and I feel like writing a book just isn't where my purpose is at the moment.
43:00
SPEAKER_00: Well that's great.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: So everyone please go check that out um it's uh I don't even know how to explain it I just can't even picture sitting down and writing a book so I just have so much admiration for that um so yeah so I I really want to end our conversation again on a high note um kind of just what's keeping you going these days like you said you're not really into maybe doing another book but I saw in your profile that you're really in into hiking and obviously we've talked about your organic food and gardening and I I saw something on a wildlife rescue as well.
43:41
SPEAKER_00: So could you just kind of touch on what's bringing you the most joy in your life right now?
43:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah so we live on a farm in the Yarrow Valley in Victoria Australia and um it's a 10 acre farm so it's a lot of land and we have kangaroos And wombats and echidnas and wallabies and lots of different birds and some snakes and some lizards.
44:07
SPEAKER_00: I need to interrupt you because I have no idea what a wombat is.
44:11
SPEAKER_02: Okay, a wombat.
44:13
SPEAKER_02: How do I describe a wombat?
44:15
SPEAKER_02: It's like a rock that moves.
44:18
SPEAKER_02: Basically.
44:19
SPEAKER_02: A wombat is an amazing.
44:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh, it's an amazing Australian creature that gives no Fs.
44:30
SPEAKER_02: I'll just say that about anyone else in the world.
44:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, there can be a mob of you know kangaroos in the field and they see the wombat coming and they'll get out of the way.
44:40
SPEAKER_02: Because he's gonna walk through them or over them or through under them, whatever.
44:44
SPEAKER_02: Um, he's just going where he's going, and everyone knows get out of the way.
44:48
SPEAKER_02: Um, a little bit, yeah.
44:52
SPEAKER_02: Wombats are amazing creatures, and Ron is our one resident wombat here.
44:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh and um he unfortunately has a great sport of harassing my two L packers.
45:04
SPEAKER_02: He thinks it's great fun to make them scream and shout and cry.
45:08
SPEAKER_02: So um, yeah, we have a wombat here.
45:11
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, so we live on the permaculture farm.
45:13
SPEAKER_02: Everything that we grow, we use um materials from the farm to grow it.
45:19
SPEAKER_02: Uh, we save our seeds, so we've got next year's seeds for food, and we absolutely love living amongst our native animals.
45:29
SPEAKER_02: Um, we have some chickens and a couple of alpacas and two cats, and everyone lives harmoniously, which is interesting.
45:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I I might need to book a flight right now.
45:45
SPEAKER_02: You're more than welcome.
45:46
SPEAKER_02: We have a spare room.
45:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, so I'm my wife and I are just huge animal lovers.
45:53
SPEAKER_00: We don't have any kids, so our animals are our lives.
45:56
SPEAKER_00: We have two dogs and two cats.
45:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh our our rescue Finn, our our dog Finn is heart.
46:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's got like everything.
46:06
SPEAKER_00: Australian cattle dog, Australian Shepherd, Border Collie, McNab, and Australian Kelpie.
46:14
SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's like all the dogs of high energy.
46:18
SPEAKER_00: He but oh, he's hilarious.
46:20
SPEAKER_00: So no, I just I just saw that and was like, I just connect with that so much.
46:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that would be so cool.
46:27
SPEAKER_00: So does your alpaca oh is that llamas?
46:31
SPEAKER_00: Do they like do that spitting thing?
46:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they do.
46:33
SPEAKER_02: Alpacas do it too.
46:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
46:35
SPEAKER_02: All camelids do that.
46:37
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, look, with the wildlife rescue, my younger son wanted to get into that several several years ago, actually, over a decade ago now.
46:47
SPEAKER_02: And um so we got into that.
46:49
SPEAKER_02: So we do rescues um of Australian native animals and we take them to carers when we need to.
46:57
SPEAKER_02: Um, as I said, we have our own mob of kangaroos here.
47:01
SPEAKER_02: In fact, they're right outside my window now.
47:04
SPEAKER_02: And uh yeah, so we're very big on protecting our native animals.
47:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's super important.
47:12
SPEAKER_02: So, as I said, I have two cats, they're indoor cats, they have cateries to go out of cat door into so that they can't harm any wildlife.
47:19
SPEAKER_02: Um, my theory is if something gets into the caterery and they catch it, well, that's fair game because I've done everything I can to protect it.
47:28
SPEAKER_01: Right.
47:29
SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, so you know, I have a little kitten here.
47:33
SPEAKER_02: She's not a kitten, she's four, but she's Siberian.
47:37
SPEAKER_02: So in Siberian terms, four is still a kitten.
47:41
SPEAKER_02: And um, yeah, she's my little fur baby.
47:45
SPEAKER_02: And the other day she caught like a big moth.
47:49
SPEAKER_02: Uh I don't know what it's got a proper name here.
47:52
SPEAKER_02: They nest under the big gum trees, and then when they hatch out of their cocoons, they're massive, like the size of your hand.
48:00
SPEAKER_02: She actually caught one in her catererie the other day, and I just went, Well, I don't know what to do.
48:04
SPEAKER_02: I couldn't help you any further than putting all the mesh around and the cage, and you know, you still went right where she can catch you.
48:12
SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
48:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
48:14
SPEAKER_02: Things happen.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: You guys have got some wild life down there.
48:19
SPEAKER_00: I mean, don't you have those spiders too that are like the sides of a dinner plate?
48:24
SPEAKER_02: Yes, we do.
48:25
SPEAKER_02: Ugh, we have a lot of spiders.
48:27
SPEAKER_02: I know, and then in fact, we're in the middle of summer, actually, we're at the end of summer now, and it's getting humid, so um autumn is starting, fall is starting.
48:37
SPEAKER_02: And we had a huntsman in our bedroom the other night.
48:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and Daphne and I spent the whole night awake staring at it, and it was like a standoff.
48:46
SPEAKER_02: Like, you stay where you are, and we'll stay where we are.
48:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
48:51
SPEAKER_02: Yes, it was pretty disgusting.
48:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's hilarious.
48:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, um, well, seriously, Magic, I really appreciate you joining me today for this conversation.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, just your honesty, your candidness, and your strength, and just all the work you've been doing to uh not only heal yourself, but to help other people here or heal, excuse me.
49:15
SPEAKER_00: It it really means the world to me that you join me.
49:18
SPEAKER_00: So uh for anyone listening who wants to learn more, please support her work, dive deeper into her books and resources, uh, check out the holistic Natural Health Australia and check out her podcast as well.
49:34
SPEAKER_00: Um again, that's that that's all I've got, everyone.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: Magic, thanks so much.
49:40
SPEAKER_00: And thank you.
49:41
SPEAKER_00: Uh anything else you wanna you want to touch on before we sign off?
49:46
SPEAKER_00: It's been an incredible conversation.
49:48
SPEAKER_02: I've really appreciated the opportunity to speak.
49:51
SPEAKER_02: And you know, you asked me, was there anything off the table?
49:54
SPEAKER_02: No, there isn't.
49:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm an open book.
49:56
SPEAKER_02: So um look, just to anyone out there, uh, jump onto our website www.holistic natural health.com dot AU.
50:05
SPEAKER_02: It's holistic starting with a W because we use holism to treat the body.
50:09
SPEAKER_02: No system works alone, and it's dot AU at the end because we are based in Australia.
50:14
SPEAKER_02: We work remotely around the world.
50:17
SPEAKER_02: So jump on, book your root cause analysis call, which is free.
50:21
SPEAKER_02: Listen to the podcast, follow us on the socials, we're on all of them, and uh look at our shop as well, and just reach out.
50:29
SPEAKER_02: We have blogs going on, we have our podcasts, there's always lots of free information.
50:35
SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
50:36
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you so much, and uh, I'm glad you woke up for me, so I did.
50:45
SPEAKER_02: That's right, my rooster was up, so we're all good.