Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / Self Love Mini Series | Day 3 | How to find self love

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Self Love Mini Series | Day 3 | How to find self love · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:13
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, beautiful people, and welcome to episode three
0:18
Speaker 1: of my mini series on self Love. So on this
0:22
Speaker 1: on today's episode, I want to be focusing on kind
0:25
Speaker 1: of where you can find your self love. There's a
0:28
Speaker 1: whole bunch of points that I've written down that I
0:31
Speaker 1: want to smash through and kind of talk about. They're
0:34
Speaker 1: all over the place, to be honest, but I want
0:36
Speaker 1: you to write these down because every single one of
0:38
Speaker 1: these contributes to helping you find your self love. Because,
0:43
Speaker 1: as you've probably gathered from the last two episodes and
0:45
Speaker 1: just kind of from my content in general, I am
0:49
Speaker 1: also self care, like literally, I'm so fucking here for it,
0:53
Speaker 1: love it. But that is not the thing that's going
0:57
Speaker 1: to determine your level of self love. You could do
0:59
Speaker 1: all the self care in the world as far as
1:01
Speaker 1: like habitual things like a facial, you know, running a
1:07
Speaker 1: bath and all of that. All of these things are
1:09
Speaker 1: kind of soft actions towards your self love. But when
1:11
Speaker 1: it comes to real self love and finding, you know,
1:16
Speaker 1: ways that you can really love yourself, it comes from
1:19
Speaker 1: more like valuing yourself self worth, interactions with other people,
1:25
Speaker 1: how you put yourself first, how you prioritize yourself that
1:28
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and then if you can combine the two,
1:31
Speaker 1: then we're in a really fucking good trajectory towards self love,
1:34
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. So I'm a huge supporter of
1:36
Speaker 1: all kinds of self love, but I think that this
1:39
Speaker 1: is the real crux of it. It's like where you
1:41
Speaker 1: stand up for yourself when you look at you take
1:43
Speaker 1: a really good look at your relationships. You take a
1:46
Speaker 1: really good look at how you talk to yourself about
1:49
Speaker 1: your past, how you perceive your own body. You know,
1:54
Speaker 1: how often you keep a promise that you make to yourself.
1:57
Speaker 1: That kind of stuff. More on a psychological and brain level,
2:02
Speaker 1: I think that's going to be like what really fast
2:04
Speaker 1: tracks and accelerates your journey to self love. So let's
2:09
Speaker 1: fucking start with the first point. If you have a pen, paper, laptop, phone, whatever,
2:14
Speaker 1: jot these down honestly so you can read over them
2:17
Speaker 1: again and again. So the first one is exiting, leaving
2:23
Speaker 1: or not giving airtime to bad relationships. This will reset
2:28
Speaker 1: your self worth. Stepping away from unfulfilling relationships or toxic
2:33
Speaker 1: relationships is proving to your brain that you deserve better. Okay,
2:41
Speaker 1: alone time is where you can really rediscover so much
2:46
Speaker 1: about yourself without the influence of someone else. So what
2:49
Speaker 1: I mean by this is a lot of the time,
2:52
Speaker 1: especially if you're a people pleaser or someone with low
2:54
Speaker 1: self love, you will think that you've got to do
2:57
Speaker 1: everything under the sun to maintain a relationship. Right. And
3:02
Speaker 1: we do this because of old time sake, because we
3:04
Speaker 1: think we're not going to get let's say it's family.
3:07
Speaker 1: We do it because they're fucking family. Right. I've got
3:09
Speaker 1: to do everything in my power to make this relationship
3:11
Speaker 1: work because their family, not because they respect me, not
3:14
Speaker 1: because I feel safe and loved by them, because they're family.
3:17
Speaker 1: I've got to do everything in my power to keep
3:19
Speaker 1: this romantic relationship thriving because if I don't have this person,
3:24
Speaker 1: I can't stand being alone. I've got to do everything
3:27
Speaker 1: in my power to stay in this friendship group, even
3:29
Speaker 1: though they humiliate me and laugh at me and up
3:32
Speaker 1: the butterful jokes, because without them then I'll have no friends. Okay.
3:36
Speaker 1: So we have all these narratives that we tell ourselves,
3:38
Speaker 1: but while staying in those relationships, we are saying, I'm
3:42
Speaker 1: only as good as how I let these people treat me. Okay,
3:46
Speaker 1: And we think that staying in these relationships will make
3:49
Speaker 1: us feel more secure. And it's this lie that we
3:52
Speaker 1: feed ourselves again and again, and we go round around
3:54
Speaker 1: in circles, and it's kind of like this snake that
3:56
Speaker 1: it's its own tail, and you kind of start drowning.
4:00
Speaker 1: It gets worse and worse and worse each cycle that
4:02
Speaker 1: you go through, because your self respect gets lower, you
4:05
Speaker 1: start putting up with more shit. Then you're less confident
4:08
Speaker 1: to be able to leave that relationship because your self
4:10
Speaker 1: respect is lower, and it gets worse and worse. We
4:13
Speaker 1: then tell ourselves because we don't respect ourselves, because we
4:16
Speaker 1: don't feel good, because people don't treat us well, because
4:19
Speaker 1: we don't feel fulfilled, we don't feel safe and loved
4:21
Speaker 1: and secure. We then have even less chance of going
4:26
Speaker 1: out on our own, whether it be leaving a romantic relationship,
4:29
Speaker 1: a friendship group, or creating a little bit of distance
4:31
Speaker 1: between this unhealthy dynamic in our family. We're way less
4:35
Speaker 1: likely to do that because we think, well, the last
4:37
Speaker 1: thing on earth I'm going to do is go out
4:40
Speaker 1: alone and have less friends or no friends and being
4:44
Speaker 1: my own fucking company, which I don't even like. These
4:46
Speaker 1: people don't like my companies, So how am I going
4:48
Speaker 1: to like my company? That's the lie we tell ourselves.
4:50
Speaker 1: But what we don't realize is that that is the step,
4:54
Speaker 1: the fucking step that we need to take in order
4:59
Speaker 1: to start feeling like we respect ourselves and feeling better
5:01
Speaker 1: about ourselves. It is a fucking trap. And the moment
5:03
Speaker 1: you rip that band aid off, the moment you realize
5:06
Speaker 1: like that, the sheet just drops from in front of
5:09
Speaker 1: your eyes and you're like, I can see clearly now,
5:12
Speaker 1: you can fucking see clearly. I'm not joking when I
5:16
Speaker 1: say it all drops away, and you'll be amazed at
5:19
Speaker 1: how much clarity you will have. Thinking these people being
5:23
Speaker 1: gone doesn't make me feel worse about myself. I actually
5:26
Speaker 1: feel calmer. I might be temporarily a bit more lonely,
5:30
Speaker 1: but loneliness. You can be surrounded by people and be
5:35
Speaker 1: the most lonely person in the world. Based on the
5:37
Speaker 1: people that you surround yourself with. You could have one
5:39
Speaker 1: good friend and feel like the most secure and loved
5:42
Speaker 1: person on this world, on this earth. Okay, so look
5:46
Speaker 1: at the unhealthy relationships in your life and do a
5:49
Speaker 1: bit of an inventory. I'm not saying I'm not saying
5:51
Speaker 1: fucking end every relationship right here, right now. But start
5:54
Speaker 1: to ask yourself those questions, is this actually like, do
5:58
Speaker 1: these people respect me? Have I been put up with shit?
6:00
Speaker 1: Have I been? And I'm not talking about dysfunctional relationships
6:04
Speaker 1: here and there or you know, surface level annoying things
6:07
Speaker 1: in people. I'm all for meeting people in the middle
6:10
Speaker 1: and giving a bit of slack when it comes to relationships.
6:13
Speaker 1: I'm talking about straight up disrespect. Okay. I'm talking about
6:16
Speaker 1: where someone is putting you down to make themselves feel better.
6:19
Speaker 1: That's the kind of stuff that we don't need to
6:20
Speaker 1: be putting up with. Okay, let's move on to the
6:23
Speaker 1: next point, because we're at is six minutes and I'm like,
6:25
Speaker 1: these are gonna be fifteen minute episodes, Lol, this one
6:28
Speaker 1: won't be. The next thing is what are we What
6:33
Speaker 1: are we not forgiving ourselves for within our past? Because
6:38
Speaker 1: beating yourself up over an old mistake kills your confidence. Okay,
6:44
Speaker 1: you didn't know back you didn't know better back then. Okay,
6:47
Speaker 1: We've got to get better at saying to ourselves I
6:50
Speaker 1: didn't know better back then, okay, Or I didn't have
6:54
Speaker 1: the tools to do something about you know about that
6:58
Speaker 1: situation back then, sitting here and beating myself up about
7:02
Speaker 1: the fact that I didn't do that thing, or that
7:04
Speaker 1: I did do that thing and I went against what
7:06
Speaker 1: I should have done, or that I stayed in that
7:07
Speaker 1: thing too long, or whatever it is. You're just gonna
7:12
Speaker 1: waste more time. You are just wasting more time. Let
7:15
Speaker 1: it go. Take the lesson. Stop chaining your future to
7:20
Speaker 1: your past. Okay. One of the best ways that I
7:24
Speaker 1: think we can move on from mistakes from our past
7:29
Speaker 1: and stop beating ourselves up about it is to say,
7:31
Speaker 1: you know what, instead of this being a useless mistake,
7:35
Speaker 1: how can I turn this into a tool that can
7:37
Speaker 1: help me right? Because a mistake can be valuable if
7:42
Speaker 1: I can do something about it. Okay, So I'm gonna
7:44
Speaker 1: look at that mistake and say, you know what, instead
7:46
Speaker 1: of beating myself up, I'm done. I'm fucking done enough
7:48
Speaker 1: beating myself up. You know you had your fun, it's over.
7:51
Speaker 1: What am I gonna do with this information? What have
7:53
Speaker 1: I learnt? What can I take from this? Is gonna
7:56
Speaker 1: be the fire in my belly to encourage me next time,
8:00
Speaker 1: or to motivate me next time. Like let's say it
8:03
Speaker 1: was an opportunity that you didn't take. Brilliant, brilliant. This
8:06
Speaker 1: is going to serve as fuel for me now. So
8:09
Speaker 1: instead of it being something that I now beat myself
8:11
Speaker 1: up about, I can take that and say, you're gonna
8:13
Speaker 1: be fucking useful now, Thank you very much. That bad
8:16
Speaker 1: decision that I made in the past is now going
8:17
Speaker 1: to serve me because it's going to be a lesson.
8:20
Speaker 1: It's going to be at the forefront when I'm going
8:21
Speaker 1: to make the next big decision and say, I know
8:23
Speaker 1: exactly how I don't want to feel next time. Thank
8:26
Speaker 1: you so much for that lesson. I'm going to use that.
8:28
Speaker 1: I'm going to apply that, and that's going to be
8:30
Speaker 1: my motivated that's going to be my driving force. I
8:33
Speaker 1: have used that personally so many times, and it has
8:35
Speaker 1: made me actually like the mistakes of my past because
8:39
Speaker 1: they've become such good teachers for me. But if I
8:42
Speaker 1: was to sit here and look at all the bad
8:44
Speaker 1: business decisions or all the bad relationship decisions, and there's
8:46
Speaker 1: been a fucking few in my time that I've made,
8:50
Speaker 1: I'm talking like big, big mistakes for oh, not even
8:55
Speaker 1: gonna go into it. But anyway, if I just beat
8:58
Speaker 1: myself up about those things. Then I would lose creativity.
9:01
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't be as driven in certain things. I
9:03
Speaker 1: would lack in confidence big time. And because I'm always
9:06
Speaker 1: beating myself up about it. But instead I think, Wow,
9:09
Speaker 1: that was an expensive lesson. So because that was an
9:13
Speaker 1: expensive lesson, let's do something about it. Let's make the
9:16
Speaker 1: most of that thing that cost me a lot. And
9:19
Speaker 1: it's a driver, it's very motivating, it's actually ends up
9:22
Speaker 1: being useful. And then you like the journey that you've
9:25
Speaker 1: been on. You weirdly like you don't love that you
9:28
Speaker 1: missed out on things or that you know it didn't
9:30
Speaker 1: serve you, but you really like how it's formed you
9:34
Speaker 1: into the next person you're going to become. Okay, So
9:37
Speaker 1: forgiving your past self and not beating yourself up of
9:40
Speaker 1: old mistakes is going to make you start to really
9:43
Speaker 1: respect yourself more. You're going to say, we're all in
9:45
Speaker 1: this together. Every cunt under the sun that I look
9:48
Speaker 1: at has something that they've beaten themselves up about in
9:51
Speaker 1: the past or that they really really and if they don't,
9:54
Speaker 1: then they've lived a very bland life. And I honestly
9:57
Speaker 1: don't know what's worse to be honest. Sense sense next one,
10:08
Speaker 1: Next point, body respect. Let's talk about how you talk
10:13
Speaker 1: about your own body to yourself. Okay, body respect, respect
10:18
Speaker 1: okayword will come before loving your body. You don't have
10:23
Speaker 1: to adore every inch of your fucking body, every inch
10:26
Speaker 1: of yourself overnight in order to feel good about who
10:30
Speaker 1: you are. But what you do need to do is
10:32
Speaker 1: you need to start treating your body and yourself with
10:35
Speaker 1: patience and with protection. Okay. Respect creates the foundation for
10:41
Speaker 1: true self love. There's many things about my life physically, emotionally, mentally,
10:48
Speaker 1: as far as my product tivity. There's many things that
10:50
Speaker 1: I want to improve. But it doesn't mean that until
10:53
Speaker 1: those things are improved, I can't love myself. I already
10:57
Speaker 1: have the foundation of respecting myself, even and if it's
11:00
Speaker 1: not exactly where I want it to be. Okay, And
11:03
Speaker 1: that's how you want to look at your life. You've
11:04
Speaker 1: got to look at your body. You're like where you
11:07
Speaker 1: are with your intelligence, with your mind, as I need
11:10
Speaker 1: to have a foundation of respect you because only when
11:13
Speaker 1: I respect can I start to feel calmer and safer.
11:16
Speaker 1: So what can you do today to really respect your body?
11:21
Speaker 1: Is it how you treat it is it, what you
11:23
Speaker 1: put in it, how you move it, how you speak
11:26
Speaker 1: to it. You decide. It could be a combination of
11:29
Speaker 1: all of those things. But if you start looking at
11:31
Speaker 1: your body saying you are the verse, what that fucking
11:34
Speaker 1: gets me through day to day? Even when I treat
11:37
Speaker 1: you like shit, You're there for me. You get me
11:39
Speaker 1: up in the morning, you sleep at night, you consolidate
11:43
Speaker 1: my memories. You you know, do all the recovery in
11:46
Speaker 1: the brain at night. Like you are fucking there for
11:48
Speaker 1: me when I treat you like fucking shit and when
11:50
Speaker 1: I talk to you like shit. So we're gonna turn
11:52
Speaker 1: that around. I'm gonna start respecting my body. Okay, you
11:55
Speaker 1: don't have to be like I'm so hot, I'm so amazed.
11:58
Speaker 1: I mean, hopefully, I love that for you, But it
12:00
Speaker 1: doesn't even have to be that. You don't have to
12:02
Speaker 1: be like I have to love every inch of myself
12:04
Speaker 1: in order to respect myself. It goes the other way, Okay,
12:07
Speaker 1: So we're going to turn that order around. The next
12:11
Speaker 1: point is make a promise to yourself and one that
12:17
Speaker 1: you will keep. So if you if this means that
12:20
Speaker 1: you've got to start small, start fucking small. I would
12:24
Speaker 1: much rather much any fucking death for the week. By
12:26
Speaker 1: the way, I would much rather you do the smallest
12:30
Speaker 1: promise that seems insignificant to other people to yourself, as
12:33
Speaker 1: long as you're going to follow through. Follow through, okay,
12:37
Speaker 1: is what is going to build on self respect, and
12:40
Speaker 1: self respect will build on self love. Okay. So what
12:44
Speaker 1: is a promise that you can make to yourself that
12:46
Speaker 1: you for sure are going to keep? Okay, Well, let's
12:50
Speaker 1: say it is. I'm going to fucking put my sneakers
12:54
Speaker 1: on before anything, before breakfast, before my coffee of the day,
12:58
Speaker 1: and I'm going to walk around the block. I'm walking
13:00
Speaker 1: around the block, and it's just because I need to
13:03
Speaker 1: get outside. This is a two minute exercise. I need
13:05
Speaker 1: to get outside. I want fresh air, I want sunlight
13:07
Speaker 1: in my eyes. I want to shake up my routine.
13:10
Speaker 1: I don't want to be on my devices and I
13:11
Speaker 1: don't want to have my neck hunched over like a
13:13
Speaker 1: question mark, you know, hunching over my phone as a
13:17
Speaker 1: way of starting my day. And this is a very
13:19
Speaker 1: easy promise to maintain because you're not saying I've got
13:22
Speaker 1: to go for a killing met a walk. You're not
13:23
Speaker 1: saying I've got to be out for thirty minutes. It's
13:25
Speaker 1: just around the block. The beauty of that is you
13:28
Speaker 1: can do it. Grab an umbrella. If it's raining, you're
13:30
Speaker 1: literally walking around the block. And if your block is enormous,
13:33
Speaker 1: then have a landmark that you walk to and walk back.
13:36
Speaker 1: Make it like a three to five minute exercise. Your
13:39
Speaker 1: shoes out the door, your outfit is ready to go.
13:41
Speaker 1: You're doing that every single morning, okay, for a week.
13:45
Speaker 1: You've now made that promise to you. How good that feels.
13:48
Speaker 1: And it's not about oh I had to do one
13:49
Speaker 1: hundred sit ups I had to do it. No, no, no,
13:52
Speaker 1: it's just I promised that i'd do something, and I
13:54
Speaker 1: did it for me. I did it because it mattered
13:56
Speaker 1: to me, and I don't care if it doesn't matter
13:59
Speaker 1: to anyone else. The other thing could be not being
14:01
Speaker 1: on your phone for the first hour of the day.
14:03
Speaker 1: The other thing could be I'm going to text one
14:05
Speaker 1: friend something meaningful every day for the next seven days.
14:10
Speaker 1: Anything that you will fucking stick to. Because the point
14:14
Speaker 1: is at the end of the day, right at the
14:15
Speaker 1: end of the three days or seven days, whatever you
14:17
Speaker 1: set as this promise to yourself, you can look back
14:21
Speaker 1: and say you know what, I actually followed through on
14:24
Speaker 1: that thing, and it's not going to matter how small
14:26
Speaker 1: that thing was. It was that you followed through on
14:28
Speaker 1: something that you don't normally do, but this time you
14:31
Speaker 1: did it for yourself. Okay. The next one is get
14:35
Speaker 1: comfortable being alone. If you can't sit with yourself, then
14:41
Speaker 1: you're more likely to tolerate bad friendships and bad relationships.
14:46
Speaker 1: Kind of like the first point that I was talking about,
14:48
Speaker 1: which is the importance of leaving fucking unhealthy in you know,
14:52
Speaker 1: mean relationships. This idea, this ability to sit with yourself,
14:58
Speaker 1: it's going to and a lot of you are thinking, well,
15:01
Speaker 1: you don't know what my head noise is like, and
15:03
Speaker 1: it's pretty fucking bad. And this is your default mode
15:06
Speaker 1: network that we're talking about. Your default mode network is
15:09
Speaker 1: that background player that runs in our subconscious mind when
15:13
Speaker 1: we're not heavily engaged in a highly focused task. That
15:17
Speaker 1: is your default mode network. Okay, and a lot of
15:20
Speaker 1: us will sit for a little bit with our default
15:23
Speaker 1: mode network and be like, oh, never again. That was
15:26
Speaker 1: so like, I'm so I hate my thoughts, I hate
15:30
Speaker 1: what I have to hear. I'm not here for it. Okay.
15:33
Speaker 1: So then of course, naturally, you're like, well, now I
15:35
Speaker 1: need to distract myself all the time. Now I need
15:37
Speaker 1: to be around people all the time, or on my
15:39
Speaker 1: phone or watching TV. I just can't be with my
15:41
Speaker 1: thoughts alone. Okay, but what I can tell you is
15:44
Speaker 1: that the first time, it's going to be very loud
15:47
Speaker 1: head noise because you're not used to it. You're not
15:49
Speaker 1: used to listening to yourself and to your needs and
15:51
Speaker 1: to your to you know yourself right. The second time
15:56
Speaker 1: fucking shit as well. The third time, a little bit
16:00
Speaker 1: better the fourth time, and then you start paying attention,
16:02
Speaker 1: and that head noise starts to soften. It starts to soften,
16:06
Speaker 1: it starts to soften, and instead of it being this
16:08
Speaker 1: unavoidable thing, you start listening like oh, interesting, Like interesting
16:13
Speaker 1: that I perceived that that way, or interesting that that's
16:15
Speaker 1: where my thoughts go. You start being more interested in
16:19
Speaker 1: where your head is at. And then you start to
16:21
Speaker 1: learn from yourself. I noticed that most my thoughts are
16:24
Speaker 1: quite fearful. That's interesting. Now I can learn how to
16:26
Speaker 1: rewrite those thoughts. I noticed that a lot of the
16:29
Speaker 1: things that I think about are fears about the future,
16:32
Speaker 1: or I'm rehashing and kind of spiraling about the past,
16:36
Speaker 1: and then you start to learn more and more and more,
16:38
Speaker 1: and then those thoughts start to relax when you become
16:41
Speaker 1: at peace with this kind of you know, being in
16:45
Speaker 1: your own company. Okay. Once you can do that, then
16:49
Speaker 1: you can start to enjoy your own company. Right. So
16:52
Speaker 1: this solo time sharpens your standards for time with other people,
16:59
Speaker 1: and it builds it's kind of self trust because if
17:01
Speaker 1: you can start to be like, you know what, I'm
17:02
Speaker 1: actually okay with myself, whether I'm sitting with my thoughts
17:05
Speaker 1: or whether I'm just cooking a meal alone, or whether
17:07
Speaker 1: I'm going on a walk alone, listening to a podcast,
17:09
Speaker 1: reading a book, I actually now genuinely am starting to
17:13
Speaker 1: like my own company. The key, the key to healthy
17:17
Speaker 1: relationships number one more than anything else, anything else that
17:21
Speaker 1: I can tell you, is to have a strong foundation
17:26
Speaker 1: of a solid relationship with yourself. Okay. So when you
17:30
Speaker 1: have that, then it sets the standard for every other
17:34
Speaker 1: relationship within your life. You your relationship with yourself determines
17:39
Speaker 1: the minimum viable standard for your other relationships. Because if
17:45
Speaker 1: it's good and someone treats you like shit, you think,
17:48
Speaker 1: why would I Why the fuck would I hang out?
17:50
Speaker 1: With you when I can be alone. I actually quite
17:52
Speaker 1: enjoy my company alone. But if you hate your company alone,
17:55
Speaker 1: you're like, I'll take what I can get one, I'll
17:56
Speaker 1: take what I can get, and it will be the
17:58
Speaker 1: dregs of humanity. I can and guarantee you that next point,
18:02
Speaker 1: throw yourself into something that you love doing. It doesn't
18:06
Speaker 1: have to be attached to a purpose. It doesn't have
18:09
Speaker 1: to be attached to income or a business or monetizing
18:11
Speaker 1: something or now we've got it like you no, no, no, no, no,
18:14
Speaker 1: Just something basic, fun, hobby, a passion that feeds self
18:20
Speaker 1: love because it proves that you are worth dedicating time
18:23
Speaker 1: and energy to doing that thing. Okay, it's just something
18:27
Speaker 1: that lights you up. Don't make it deep, don't make
18:29
Speaker 1: it something so hectic and intense. Just something that lights
18:32
Speaker 1: you up and makes you feel good about yourself. Are
18:35
Speaker 1: you going to start drawing on your iPad? Are you
18:38
Speaker 1: going to start reading, you know, sexual fantasy novels every afternoon?
18:44
Speaker 1: Whatever the fuck it is. Just throw yourself into something
18:47
Speaker 1: fun where it is literally like a little holiday for
18:50
Speaker 1: your mind, where you know, like with when I used
18:52
Speaker 1: to do sewing, I really need to get back into it.
18:54
Speaker 1: But long anyway, where like time could just hours and
18:58
Speaker 1: hours and hours could pass and I would feel just
19:00
Speaker 1: really really good doing it because I was so invested
19:03
Speaker 1: in this thing and it felt good. It was feeding
19:05
Speaker 1: my soul. What are things that you can do that
19:07
Speaker 1: help feed your soul? Okay, the next one is understand
19:15
Speaker 1: that everything that you are chasing can already exist within you.
19:22
Speaker 1: That is love, safety, validation, understanding, security. You can give
19:30
Speaker 1: that to yourself first, right might not feel like it
19:36
Speaker 1: right now, but as you start working through all of
19:38
Speaker 1: these points, you can give all those things to yourself,
19:41
Speaker 1: and once you do, you stop desperately seeking it from others.
19:45
Speaker 1: And ironically, when you're someone that gives that to yourself,
19:48
Speaker 1: people identify that and want to give that to you
19:52
Speaker 1: more Ironically, you then end up attracting more kinds of
19:56
Speaker 1: relationships like that because people that are willing to give
19:59
Speaker 1: that gravitate to people that are already giving themselves that. Right,
20:03
Speaker 1: just like we like to gravitate to people that are
20:05
Speaker 1: really comfortable in their own skin, that are secure, that
20:08
Speaker 1: are calm, happy, kind people, We're more likely to want
20:11
Speaker 1: to gravitate to those people than narcissistic people that are
20:14
Speaker 1: on the attack all the time that feel unstable and unsteady,
20:18
Speaker 1: So we know what it feels like. Right as far
20:21
Speaker 1: as being attracted to other people, and when I talk
20:23
Speaker 1: about attracted, it's not just sexual attraction, it's this attractive
20:27
Speaker 1: magnetic energy. Okay, so that is the episode of today.
20:31
Speaker 1: I'll quickly glide over those points we've got. Leaving bad
20:36
Speaker 1: relationships will help reset yourself worth. Stop beating yourself up
20:40
Speaker 1: over old mistakes, because that's going to kill your confidence.
20:43
Speaker 1: We're going to start to take those mistakes and use
20:45
Speaker 1: them as a very useful lesson. Body respect comes before
20:49
Speaker 1: body love. So what can we do to start respecting
20:52
Speaker 1: ourselves a bit more? What narratives can we change? Make
20:56
Speaker 1: a promise to yourself, and one that you're going to keep.
20:58
Speaker 1: I don't care how small it is, but make that
21:00
Speaker 1: promise now today. That is your homework for today. Get
21:04
Speaker 1: comfortable with being alone. Joining your own company will sharpen
21:09
Speaker 1: your standards. And then throwing yourself into something that you
21:13
Speaker 1: love where time could pass and you just you know,
21:16
Speaker 1: you literally sink into this thing and it feels so good.
21:19
Speaker 1: And then understand that most of the things that you
21:22
Speaker 1: were chasing already exists within you. So how much of
21:26
Speaker 1: the things that I'm seeking in other people can I
21:27
Speaker 1: start providing for myself validation, love, safety, understanding, compassion, security,
21:34
Speaker 1: all of those things. Guys. That is Day three of
21:38
Speaker 1: the Self Love Miniseries. Please tune in today, four and five, tomorrow,
21:43
Speaker 1: and Friday. And I really hope that you're enjoying this
21:46
Speaker 1: miniseries because I love doing that. That is all for today.
21:49
Speaker 1: As always, remember be kind to yourself, be kind to
21:51
Speaker 1: your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't
21:54
Speaker 1: take shit from yourself. Dunk it