Latest / The Bechdel Cast / Past Lives with Nancy Wang Yuen
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: On the Bechdel Cast.
- 0:02Speaker 2: The questions asked if movies have women and them, are
- 0:05Speaker 2: all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands, or do they
- 0:08Speaker 2: have individualism?
- 0:10Speaker 1: It's a patriarchy. Zeph and Vest start changing with the
- 0:14Speaker 1: Bechdel Cast.
- 0:16Speaker 3: Hey, Jamie, Hey Caitlin, how many layers of Indian do
- 0:21Speaker 3: you think we have between us?
- 0:24Speaker 2: What's a polite answer.
- 0:26Speaker 3: I think it's eight thousand or more.
- 0:28Speaker 2: Ooh, okay, let's go for it. Yes, we are connected
- 0:32Speaker 2: in unprecedented way.
- 0:34Speaker 3: We're basically married, so we are spiritually married. It's true.
- 0:38Speaker 2: That is actually I do think that that is true.
- 0:41Speaker 3: I think so.
- 0:42Speaker 1: Yeah, that is true.
- 0:43Speaker 2: There is nothing stronger than the bond between two podcasters.
- 0:47Speaker 3: We know so much about each other.
- 0:49Speaker 2: It's true. It's true.
- 0:52Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bechdel Cast.
- 0:53Speaker 3: My name is Jamie Loftus, my name is Caitlin Toronte,
- 0:56Speaker 3: and this is our show where we examine movies through
- 0:59Speaker 3: an intersection feminist lens, using the Bechdel Test simply as
- 1:02Speaker 3: a jumping off point to initiate much larger conversations. But
- 1:07Speaker 3: what is the Bechdel test, Jamie?
- 1:10Speaker 2: Well, it is a media metric created by queer cartoonist
- 1:15Speaker 2: Alison Bechdel often called the Bechdel Wallace test because it
- 1:18Speaker 2: was co created with her friend Liz Wallace. There's a
- 1:22Speaker 2: lot of different versions of this test. It was originally
- 1:26Speaker 2: just made as a one off kind of gag in
- 1:30Speaker 2: her Wonderful Comics collection Dikes to Watch out For, and
- 1:35Speaker 2: it's sort of evolved over the years. The version of
- 1:37Speaker 2: the test that we use require that two characters of
- 1:41Speaker 2: a marginalized gender with names speak to each other about
- 1:44Speaker 2: something other than a man for more than two lines
- 1:47Speaker 2: of dialogue, and they should be meaningful lines of dialogue,
- 1:50Speaker 2: no how would you like your burger cooked? Type of
- 1:55Speaker 2: random interaction. We don't let movies get away with a
- 1:58Speaker 2: barely pass, and also we kind of barely talk about
- 2:01Speaker 2: it because it's just a jumping off point for discussion.
- 2:04Speaker 2: There's so many things to talk about with movies, but
- 2:08Speaker 2: for a long time and still often this bare minimum
- 2:12Speaker 2: never takes place.
- 2:13Speaker 3: So it is true and there is a lot to
- 2:17Speaker 3: talk about. In today's movie, which is Past Lives that
- 2:22Speaker 3: came out last year.
- 2:24Speaker 2: I feel like every single person who listened to this
- 2:26Speaker 2: show requested this movie. Yeah, it's been out for I
- 2:30Speaker 2: think it's been out for over a year now, but
- 2:33Speaker 2: it felt like throughout last year, as it became more
- 2:36Speaker 2: available and theater is more available on streaming, that people
- 2:39Speaker 2: were discovering it. And yeah, I'm so excited. The day
- 2:42Speaker 2: has come. It's Past Lives Day on the Bechdel Cast.
- 2:45Speaker 3: It sure is, and we have a wonderful guest here
- 2:47Speaker 3: with us to chat about it. She is a sociologist
- 2:51Speaker 3: and author of Real Inequality, Hollywood Actors and Racism. It's
- 2:56Speaker 3: Nancy wong Yun.
- 2:57Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, so it gets you here.
- 3:00Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us.
- 3:02Speaker 2: Welcome, And just because this is an audio medium, it's
- 3:07Speaker 2: want to shout out Nancy's everything everywhere, all at once.
- 3:10Speaker 2: Post that is behind her just an important addition to
- 3:14Speaker 2: every home.
- 3:15Speaker 3: Exactly.
- 3:16Speaker 1: Is that a show that you've talked about on your podcast?
- 3:19Speaker 3: Not yet, we haven't covered it yet.
- 3:21Speaker 2: There's a few movies that we're sort of like, we're
- 3:24Speaker 2: gonna make the listeners wait and wait and wait and
- 3:26Speaker 2: then surprise them one day.
- 3:28Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 3:29Speaker 2: This movie, however, we got so many requests that were like,
- 3:32Speaker 2: we cannot play the long game with Past Lives. So
- 3:35Speaker 2: to start, we're curious. I know it's a fairly recent movie,
- 3:38Speaker 2: but what is your history with this movie?
- 3:42Speaker 1: You know, I was attending Sundance virtually the year that
- 3:47Speaker 1: it screened in Sundance, I think, I think, actually maybe
- 3:51Speaker 1: it was supposed to do it over the pandemic, and
- 3:53Speaker 1: there was delays, and it finally screened in Utah and Sundance,
- 3:58Speaker 1: but because I was only joining on line virtually, I
- 4:01Speaker 1: couldn't see it, and it built up all this anticipation
- 4:05Speaker 1: for myself. I was like, Oh my gosh, that's like
- 4:07Speaker 1: the one movie I really want to see. But they
- 4:09Speaker 1: were you know, sometimes they just do in person screenings
- 4:13Speaker 1: and they don't allow for online viewing for journalists and
- 4:17Speaker 1: general audience. And so that was the year that it
- 4:20Speaker 1: came out. But A twenty four had contacted me with
- 4:24Speaker 1: an early press screening I think soon after it premiered
- 4:28Speaker 1: at Sundance, and so I drove all the way out
- 4:31Speaker 1: to La I'm in the suburbs, and I was just
- 4:36Speaker 1: sitting in a screening room. There were only maybe four
- 4:39Speaker 1: or five other journalists, but it was a very small
- 4:41Speaker 1: screening room, and I remember watching it and being emotionally
- 4:47Speaker 1: drained and excited and just something that I had never
- 4:50Speaker 1: seen that I would expect to kind of reflect my
- 4:54Speaker 1: own experience and enlighten my own experience and speak to it.
- 4:57Speaker 1: So I was, yeah, I was really I had a
- 4:59Speaker 1: deep connection with the film since the first time I
- 5:01Speaker 1: saw it, and.
- 5:02Speaker 3: Then you spoke to Selene's song and wrote a piece
- 5:06Speaker 3: about it, which is how we Yes do.
- 5:09Speaker 1: Yeah. So I then pitched an interview with Elle, and
- 5:14Speaker 1: you know, pitched my idea because after I saw the film,
- 5:17Speaker 1: I thought that it was a film about immigration for sure,
- 5:22Speaker 1: but that the entire metaphor of the relationship had to
- 5:26Speaker 1: do with kind of immigrant lives, and so that was
- 5:29Speaker 1: how I pitched it. And I ended up talking to
- 5:31Speaker 1: Selene very long about it. And it's so funny because
- 5:33Speaker 1: she and I talked about are In Young, just like
- 5:36Speaker 1: you all talked about yours, and she really really believes
- 5:40Speaker 1: in it, and I felt like I was so also
- 5:43Speaker 1: enlightened about ying Young through Selene and her saying that
- 5:47Speaker 1: she and I had Eyan Young too, because I actually
- 5:49Speaker 1: saw her on before I interviewed her. I saw her
- 5:53Speaker 1: very very briefly at this thing called the Gold Gala.
- 5:56Speaker 1: She was It was an Asian American and kind of
- 5:58Speaker 1: award show, and she was walking the Gold carpet, and
- 6:02Speaker 1: I like flagged her down. I said, oh, Selene, I'm
- 6:05Speaker 1: going to be interviewing you suit oh for all and
- 6:09Speaker 1: thinking about, I guess, all the moments where we happen
- 6:12Speaker 1: to meet up with one another, right, all the different
- 6:15Speaker 1: potential and unrealized and realized connections. All of that is
- 6:21Speaker 1: to think about as part of kind of a larger
- 6:24Speaker 1: I don't know, fabric of some sort. It was very
- 6:26Speaker 1: beautiful to think about.
- 6:28Speaker 2: That's really beautiful.
- 6:29Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love it. Well, Jamie, what is
- 6:32Speaker 3: your relationship with this movie?
- 6:35Speaker 2: I have a kind of funny relationship with this movie.
- 6:37Speaker 2: I mean it's Selene Song's debut film. I wasn't familiar
- 6:40Speaker 2: with her work prior to this, but I was really
- 6:43Speaker 2: excited to see as a longtime Greta Lee fan. Who
- 6:47Speaker 2: is I mean, it's so funny because I primarily thought
- 6:50Speaker 2: of her as a comic actress because she's done so
- 6:52Speaker 2: many great TV roles over the years. I always think
- 6:55Speaker 2: of how great she was in Russian Doll. But I mean,
- 6:58Speaker 2: she's been in so much over the years, and like
- 7:01Speaker 2: rarely gets to properly lead. So I was very excited
- 7:05Speaker 2: to see her and I was going to see it
- 7:07Speaker 2: when it first came into theaters, and I texted my
- 7:10Speaker 2: brother like, I'm going to go see Past Lives and
- 7:13Speaker 2: he had just seen it and he knew I was
- 7:14Speaker 2: going through a gnarly breakup and he literally texted me, Jamie,
- 7:19Speaker 2: I don't think you're in a good emotional place to
- 7:21Speaker 2: see Past Lives right now. I remember this, Yeah, yeah,
- 7:25Speaker 2: And I was like, Wow, my brother has never said
- 7:27Speaker 2: anything remotely like that to me. I guess I'll listen.
- 7:32Speaker 2: And so I didn't see it until a couple of
- 7:34Speaker 2: months ago when I checked in with him and he
- 7:37Speaker 2: said he thought I, in fact was now in a
- 7:40Speaker 2: good enough emotional place to see Past Lives, and I
- 7:44Speaker 2: think he was right. But yeah, I mean, I loved
- 7:48Speaker 2: this movie. I loved this movie. It will get into it,
- 7:52Speaker 2: but it's so beautiful and I feel like it's really
- 7:54Speaker 2: rare to find a movie that is both extremely specific
- 7:58Speaker 2: but any viewer can feel their own lived experience through it.
- 8:04Speaker 2: And just like these ships passing in the night, types
- 8:07Speaker 2: of relationships are so heart wrenching and rare to see
- 8:11Speaker 2: done thoughtfully on screen. And I just think this movie
- 8:14Speaker 2: is so beautiful and I'm excited to talk about it, Caitlin,
- 8:18Speaker 2: what's your history with Past Lives?
- 8:20Speaker 3: I saw it in theaters and I really enjoyed it,
- 8:24Speaker 3: and I really appreciate it when we're doing an episode
- 8:28Speaker 3: on a movie that there's like nothing bad to say
- 8:34Speaker 3: about the movie, because most of our job is wow,
- 8:38Speaker 3: everything was so problematic or the things that were interesting
- 8:45Speaker 3: and subversive are sort of overshadowed by all of the
- 8:48Speaker 3: other problematic things that are happening, And this movie is
- 8:52Speaker 3: just like pure wonderfulness, you know. And I appreciate movies
- 8:59Speaker 3: like that, episodes like this because it's a brother of
- 9:03Speaker 3: fresh air. But yeah, so I'm also excited to talk
- 9:09Speaker 3: about it. And should we just get into the recap
- 9:12Speaker 3: and go from there.
- 9:14Speaker 2: Let's do it.
- 9:15Speaker 3: Let's take a quick break first, and then we'll come
- 9:17Speaker 3: back for the recap and we're back. Okay, So here
- 9:30Speaker 3: is Past Lives. We open on three people who are
- 9:34Speaker 3: having a drink at a bar. It's an Asian man,
- 9:38Speaker 3: an Asian woman, and a white man, and we hear
- 9:43Speaker 3: nearby people speculating on what these three people's dynamic must be.
- 9:49Speaker 3: They're like, oh, are two of them in a relationship?
- 9:52Speaker 3: Are any of them related to each other? Are they
- 9:55Speaker 3: just colleagues? Well, we're about to find out.
- 10:00Speaker 1: Can I say something. I actually was just in Boston
- 10:04Speaker 1: and I went to a restaurant and I could only
- 10:06Speaker 1: be seated at the bar, and I literally saw three
- 10:10Speaker 1: people that look like the three people the way. I
- 10:15Speaker 1: even snapped a photo, but then I was like, I
- 10:17Speaker 1: felt uncomfortable posting it because you know, I didn't do
- 10:20Speaker 1: it like with their consent. The Asian woman even has
- 10:23Speaker 1: short hairs, just like Greta Ellie's character and Nora, and
- 10:27Speaker 1: I just I just thought, what are the chances that
- 10:30Speaker 1: maybe there are a lot of people that you know
- 10:32Speaker 1: the kind of you know, three people and you don't
- 10:35Speaker 1: know what their relationships are to each other. But this
- 10:37Speaker 1: literally happened, I think two days ago, and I thought,
- 10:43Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm gotta be talking about past lives
- 10:45Speaker 1: and I can't believe I'm seeing potentially a real life
- 10:48Speaker 1: past lives moment in front of me.
- 10:51Speaker 2: Cilian song opened our third eye. This dynamic is everywhere.
- 10:56Speaker 1: Exactly the thing that you don't notice, and all of
- 10:58Speaker 1: a sudden, it's everywhere. Yes, that is the Asian woman
- 11:01Speaker 1: with the Asian man and a white man. Who what
- 11:04Speaker 1: happens all over the country, but this is uh it
- 11:06Speaker 1: was cool to witness in real life.
- 11:08Speaker 3: Yeah, and I wonder what their dynamic was, but no idea.
- 11:13Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't feel comfortable enough to get like, hey,
- 11:16Speaker 1: you'll remind you pass lies your ex from your home country.
- 11:22Speaker 1: That would have been terrible. The woman would be like,
- 11:27Speaker 1: are you racist? What are you doing now? I'm just
- 11:29Speaker 1: a huge past life fad.
- 11:34Speaker 3: That's hilarious. Okay, So we see them in the present day,
- 11:38Speaker 3: but then we cut to twenty four years earlier. We
- 11:41Speaker 3: are in Seoul, Korea, and we meet two twelve year
- 11:44Speaker 3: old kids, Now Young and her friend hey Sung, and
- 11:49Speaker 3: they are friends and classmates. Hey Sung always walks home
- 11:54Speaker 3: with now Young after school. Niong is upset because she's
- 11:59Speaker 3: used to getting like the top grades in her class,
- 12:02Speaker 3: but hay Sung has outperformed her today, so she's crying
- 12:06Speaker 3: about it and he's trying to comfort her. Very sweet
- 12:09Speaker 3: interaction between kids, and then Niong arrives home. Her family
- 12:15Speaker 3: is gearing up to immigrate to Canada. I think Toronto
- 12:20Speaker 3: is where they're going, and she and her younger sister
- 12:23Speaker 3: are picking out English names. Niong goes with Nora. Her
- 12:28Speaker 3: little sister goes with Michelle, and then Niong tells her
- 12:34Speaker 3: mom about Hey Sung how she'll probably marry him someday,
- 12:39Speaker 3: and her mom asks if she wants to go on
- 12:41Speaker 3: a date with him, So her mom takes the two
- 12:44Speaker 3: of them to the park for a little kid date.
- 12:48Speaker 3: Haysong's mom is also there. Naiong's mom wants to make
- 12:52Speaker 3: good memories for her before the family leaves for Canada,
- 12:57Speaker 3: so that's why they're kind of chaperone this date. And
- 13:02Speaker 3: they have a nice time on the date. They even
- 13:04Speaker 3: hold hands.
- 13:05Speaker 2: It's so cute.
- 13:07Speaker 3: It's adorable.
- 13:08Speaker 1: And the two moms have a conversation too.
- 13:11Speaker 3: Yes, Heysong's mom is asking why they're immigrating, especially because
- 13:16Speaker 3: Niong's mother is an artist and her father is a
- 13:20Speaker 3: film director, and she's like, why would you leave all
- 13:22Speaker 3: that behind? And I think she responds with, well, when
- 13:26Speaker 3: you leave something behind, you also gain something.
- 13:29Speaker 1: So I love that. That's really deep. It's such a
- 13:32Speaker 1: deep kind of immigration or just you know, life kind of.
- 13:37Speaker 1: It's such a simple conversation, but I remember feeling the
- 13:39Speaker 1: ways of that. I want to write. I want to
- 13:41Speaker 1: write that down and think about that some more.
- 13:43Speaker 3: M hmm totally. And then Haysong finds out that Nyong
- 13:50Speaker 3: will be leaving soon and he's sad and we're sad.
- 13:56Speaker 3: And then Nay Young and her mom, dad, and sister
- 13:59Speaker 3: moved to Canada. We see her briefly at school. She
- 14:03Speaker 3: seems to be feeling out of place, and then we
- 14:06Speaker 3: cut to twelve years later. So now it's twenty twelve. Nyong,
- 14:11Speaker 3: who goes by Nora now, is living in New York City.
- 14:16Speaker 3: Ever heard of it. She's played by Greta Lee, and
- 14:20Speaker 3: she's chatting on the phone with her mom and they're
- 14:23Speaker 3: joking around and like looking up people that they used
- 14:27Speaker 3: to know on Facebook, and Nora is like, well, what
- 14:30Speaker 3: about that boy? I had a huge crush on hey song,
- 14:33Speaker 3: And so she looks him up and she sees a
- 14:36Speaker 3: post of his on Facebook from a few months prior
- 14:40Speaker 3: where he's like asking about her and looking for her.
- 14:43Speaker 3: So Norah messages him on Facebook being like, Hi, it's me.
- 14:49Speaker 4: God.
- 14:50Speaker 2: That's already such wish fulfillment to be like, oh, yeah,
- 14:54Speaker 2: you're crush from when you're twelve, they're looking for you,
- 14:57Speaker 2: they still love you, right sequences. I mean, they're beautiful narratively,
- 15:03Speaker 2: but I also is just like wow, Selene's song nailed
- 15:07Speaker 2: like there were a few twenty twelve details that were
- 15:09Speaker 2: kind of triggering. The like sound of a Skype call,
- 15:13Speaker 2: You're like, uh, like, I haven't. It's been eighty four
- 15:17Speaker 2: years since I've heard the sound of a Skype call,
- 15:21Speaker 2: or like the Facebook messenger interface. You're like, god, this
- 15:24Speaker 2: is like, this is where I made so many mistakes
- 15:27Speaker 2: on this exact interface.
- 15:29Speaker 3: Wi It has been eighty four years and I can
- 15:33Speaker 3: still see the grainy video quality. So Hey song now
- 15:40Speaker 3: played by Tayo. You gets the message from Nora and
- 15:45Speaker 3: he's all excited, and then they start corresponding back and forth.
- 15:49Speaker 3: They do a Skype call and he's like, I've been
- 15:53Speaker 3: trying really hard to find you, and he was having
- 15:55Speaker 3: trouble finding her because she had changed her name to
- 15:58Speaker 3: Nora and catch up. She tells him that she's a playwright.
- 16:03Speaker 3: He is in school studying engineering, and then he gets
- 16:09Speaker 3: very kind of Erna tells her that he has missed her,
- 16:12Speaker 3: and she's like me too, who And they continue meeting
- 16:18Speaker 3: up pretty regularly over Skype, and she tells him about
- 16:21Speaker 3: this upcoming month long artist residency that she will be
- 16:26Speaker 3: doing on Long Island, I think. And he says, oh, well,
- 16:30Speaker 3: I'm going to China soon to learn Mandarin. And she's like, oh,
- 16:35Speaker 3: you should come to New York and learn English. And
- 16:38Speaker 3: he says that he may be able to come visit,
- 16:40Speaker 3: but it would probably be like a year and a
- 16:42Speaker 3: half from then, and she's like, well, it probably won't
- 16:46Speaker 3: be a year at least until I would be able
- 16:49Speaker 3: to come back to Seoul to visit. And so she
- 16:53Speaker 3: decides that she wants them to stop talking for a
- 16:56Speaker 3: while because she wants to commit to her life in
- 17:00Speaker 3: New York and accomplished something there, and she feels as
- 17:04Speaker 3: though her like considering this visit to Korea to see
- 17:08Speaker 3: him is sort of like distracting her from her goals.
- 17:12Speaker 2: That is the point in the Vivia is like, Okay,
- 17:14Speaker 2: she is stronger than me.
- 17:16Speaker 1: She is stronger than me.
- 17:18Speaker 2: I would be like, let's do long distance forever.
- 17:22Speaker 1: Why not?
- 17:23Speaker 2: What's the worst that could happen? And I was like, wow,
- 17:26Speaker 2: good healthy boundaries. Love to see it.
- 17:29Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 17:29Speaker 1: I think there were a lot of like technical difficulties
- 17:32Speaker 1: where they're missing each other because of the time difference,
- 17:35Speaker 1: and you know, tech drops and you know, someone's sleeping,
- 17:40Speaker 1: someone's hill calling in. I think it's like the kind
- 17:43Speaker 1: of typical long distance and also across time zones issues.
- 17:47Speaker 3: For sure, And so you know, Nora communicates this boundary
- 17:53Speaker 3: to him and he understands, but he's really sad about
- 17:57Speaker 3: it and they say goodbye. Then nor heads to that
- 18:02Speaker 3: artist residency retreat and it's at this house where she
- 18:08Speaker 3: meets Arthur, another writer played by John Macgaro.
- 18:13Speaker 2: Yes, the future author of Boner Boner.
- 18:17Speaker 1: Oh, I think I missed that.
- 18:18Speaker 2: Oh his book is named Boner, which I is one
- 18:24Speaker 2: of my favorite details in the movie.
- 18:25Speaker 3: So funny. Is it nonfiction? Is it fiction? I don't
- 18:30Speaker 3: really care. I love that his book is named Boner.
- 18:34Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 18:34Speaker 2: I have no beef with Arthur, but I just think
- 18:36Speaker 2: that that is the funniest Like Brett Easton ellis vibe ripoff,
- 18:41Speaker 2: like white guy novel, Like it's called Boner.
- 18:44Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh I love that detail.
- 18:48Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I think I paid no attention to him
- 18:51Speaker 1: at all. I was like, could you just maybe go
- 18:55Speaker 1: away so that two people that deserve to be with
- 18:58Speaker 1: each other are together.
- 19:01Speaker 2: Like he just speaks to my level of maturity, where
- 19:05Speaker 2: if the word boner's on screen, my eye is go
- 19:07Speaker 2: and drift there and alaser focus. Yeah, I was like,
- 19:11Speaker 2: oh there.
- 19:14Speaker 1: Seriously, I saw I think I've seen the movie at
- 19:16Speaker 1: least three times, and I never saw that.
- 19:19Speaker 3: You see it In that scene where they're at a bookstore,
- 19:21Speaker 3: I think he's doing a book signing, and so there's
- 19:25Speaker 3: stacks of his book and I forget what's on the cover.
- 19:28Speaker 1: What's on the cover? Did I even miss that? It's
- 19:32Speaker 1: just words, right, it's just words.
- 19:34Speaker 3: It says Boner. And then there's a photo that I
- 19:36Speaker 3: think has nothing to do with boner, but the title
- 19:41Speaker 3: is very visible.
- 19:42Speaker 2: Also, just another shout out to Celine Song's restraint at
- 19:46Speaker 2: having that be the title and having no one pointed
- 19:49Speaker 2: out I would not be able to shut up if
- 19:52Speaker 2: my weird husband wrote a book called Boner. But it's
- 19:55Speaker 2: not what the movie's about.
- 19:57Speaker 3: No, But where's the sequel in which that is all
- 20:01Speaker 3: they talk about?
- 20:02Speaker 2: Where's this to screen adaptation of what if? That's Selene
- 20:05Speaker 2: Song's next project? The adaptation of Bone of bon kidding,
- 20:11Speaker 2: just kidding, watch just enough of Arthur in this movie.
- 20:14Speaker 2: But that was just like a great detail.
- 20:16Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.
- 20:17Speaker 1: Oh and we never mentioned that all of this is
- 20:20Speaker 1: based on her real life, right, it's loosely based on
- 20:23Speaker 1: selling songs real life.
- 20:25Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 20:26Speaker 1: Yes, she also met I think her husband at an
- 20:29Speaker 1: artist thing and he is a writer, and she did
- 20:32Speaker 1: have a childhood love and the whole bar scene actually
- 20:35Speaker 1: happened in her real life. That is when it was
- 20:37Speaker 1: like during the bar scene that you start thinking about, Oh,
- 20:41Speaker 1: I wonder what people think of us, and I'm going
- 20:43Speaker 1: to make this into it.
- 20:44Speaker 3: This is a movie. Yeah, yeah, I love that. Okay.
- 20:49Speaker 3: So Nora and Arthur meet and they get to chatting.
- 20:54Speaker 3: They hit it off. She tells him about a word
- 20:57Speaker 3: in Korean in young which which means providence or fate,
- 21:02Speaker 3: but it specifically refers to relationships between people. For example,
- 21:06Speaker 3: it's in Yuan. If two strangers pass on the street
- 21:10Speaker 3: and their clothes accidentally brush, it means there must have
- 21:14Speaker 3: been something between them in their past lives that's the
- 21:18Speaker 3: name of the movie. Or if, for example, two people
- 21:22Speaker 3: get married, it's said that there must have been eight
- 21:25Speaker 3: thousand layers of in Yuan over the course of like
- 21:28Speaker 3: eight thousand lifetimes. And then Nora is like, TIHI, I
- 21:33Speaker 3: don't really believe in this. It's just something Koreans say
- 21:36Speaker 3: to seduce someone and then he's like oh, and then
- 21:39Speaker 3: they smooch. Meanwhile, Hayesan heads to China for this language
- 21:47Speaker 3: exchange program, but he's not smooching anyone.
- 21:52Speaker 1: He's sitting next to someone. He's sitting next to someone eating. Yes,
- 21:56Speaker 1: there's a luck.
- 21:56Speaker 3: Yes they're eyeing each other.
- 21:58Speaker 1: Yeah, probably maybe you know more culturally, it's not like
- 22:03Speaker 1: you smooch someone on the first Well, I'm not going
- 22:05Speaker 1: to smooch on the first night. But I guess the
- 22:07Speaker 1: artists colony is different than meeting a restaurant.
- 22:11Speaker 3: True. People are so horny during artists residencies, so it seems.
- 22:17Speaker 1: To be true.
- 22:17Speaker 2: I know it feels like adult summer cap kind of right.
- 22:21Speaker 3: I think that's why people go on them. They're like, sure,
- 22:23Speaker 3: i'll write a little bit, but I'm here to fuck.
- 22:25Speaker 2: I wrote forty words and I fucked everyone, and you're like.
- 22:33Speaker 1: Okay.
- 22:33Speaker 3: So then we cut to another twelve years later, so
- 22:35Speaker 3: we are now in present day. Nora and Arthur are married.
- 22:40Speaker 3: They still live in New York City. Nourra is an
- 22:44Speaker 3: accomplished playwright, and Arthur has a book published called Boner.
- 22:51Speaker 3: And then we learn that Haisung is coming to New
- 22:56Speaker 3: York to be there on vacation, and he wants to
- 23:00Speaker 3: link up with Nora, although he does know that Nora
- 23:03Speaker 3: is married, so it's not like that will be a
- 23:05Speaker 3: surprise to him. And so he arrives in New York
- 23:10Speaker 3: and he and Nora meet up. They have a tender reunion.
- 23:15Speaker 3: They walk around the city and catch up.
- 23:17Speaker 2: My god, it's so good, it's so beautiful, Like the
- 23:22Speaker 2: second they see each other, I'm crying for the rest
- 23:25Speaker 2: of the movie.
- 23:26Speaker 1: Yeah, but there isn't anything cheesy in terms of like
- 23:30Speaker 1: it's not like, you know, all of a sudden they
- 23:32Speaker 1: embrace and they go into a passionate kiss. Now because
- 23:35Speaker 1: she is married, she's happily married, and yet there is
- 23:38Speaker 1: this tension that is so visceral just by them looking
- 23:43Speaker 1: at each other, speaking in and laughing and giggling and
- 23:47Speaker 1: small little touches and oh it's it's it's better, right.
- 23:52Speaker 1: It's like it's like how ca dramas are in terms of,
- 23:55Speaker 1: you know, more of a slow burn, very slow burn.
- 24:00Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, just the casting in this movie is
- 24:03Speaker 2: off the chart, like and just how subtle the performances are,
- 24:07Speaker 2: because it like there is this base part of me
- 24:10Speaker 2: that is like kiss but it's like but they're really
- 24:14Speaker 2: it's just like so well done. And again, like Selene
- 24:17Speaker 2: Song has incredible like restraint and like how she paces
- 24:22Speaker 2: these sequences.
- 24:23Speaker 3: It's so beautiful. There's a scene where they're sitting in
- 24:27Speaker 3: front of like a Merry go Round kind of thing,
- 24:30Speaker 3: and yeah, she's talking and he's like staring very intently
- 24:36Speaker 3: at her, and I'm so conditioned from watching movies that
- 24:41Speaker 3: I thought he was gonna kind of like lunge at
- 24:44Speaker 3: her and kiss her during like a lull in their conversation,
- 24:47Speaker 3: because like we've seen something like that so many times
- 24:50Speaker 3: and it never happens. And that's not the type of
- 24:52Speaker 3: thing that would happen in this movie, because this movie
- 24:55Speaker 3: doesn't like adhere to any of those Hollywood tropy sappy,
- 25:01Speaker 3: corny moments like.
- 25:02Speaker 1: That and problematic moments exactly.
- 25:05Speaker 2: Y yeah, yeah, God, it's like, yeah, that's like what
- 25:08Speaker 2: we've been talking about every week for eight years, is
- 25:11Speaker 2: like the conditioning to surprise kiss someone and there's no
- 25:15Speaker 2: consent and there's you know, it's all of this you know, patriarchal.
- 25:19Speaker 3: Wish fulfillment for sure.
- 25:22Speaker 2: And I mean I think That's probably part of why
- 25:25Speaker 2: I wasn't emotionally prepared to see it at the time,
- 25:28Speaker 2: is because it feels so authentic for sure.
- 25:31Speaker 1: Yeah, because even at one point Nora's husband says, gosh,
- 25:35Speaker 1: I'm the white husband like third wheel here. It's something
- 25:38Speaker 1: like that, right where he actually exactly names the thing
- 25:40Speaker 1: that we're all all the audiences thinking, yeah, and he
- 25:43Speaker 1: actually says it rather than I think embody some sort
- 25:47Speaker 1: of toxic masculinity where he starts to be suspicious of
- 25:51Speaker 1: her or questioning or whatever that we're used to in
- 25:55Speaker 1: terms of Hollywood troms.
- 25:56Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I'm really excited to talk about like the
- 26:00Speaker 3: men's reactions to things because it's I think very interesting.
- 26:05Speaker 3: But in any case, so Nora and Hayesan are catching up.
- 26:10Speaker 3: He tells her about his girlfriend, who he is not
- 26:13Speaker 3: currently with because he feels as though he should make
- 26:18Speaker 3: more money and be less ordinary before like it's appropriate
- 26:23Speaker 3: for them to get married. And Norah asks him why
- 26:28Speaker 3: he was looking for her all those years ago, and
- 26:32Speaker 3: he's like, well, you disappeared so suddenly from my life,
- 26:36Speaker 3: and he was upset about it, and he clearly like
- 26:41Speaker 3: didn't get any closure from it, and so then Nora
- 26:46Speaker 3: returns home to Arthur and she's like, you were right,
- 26:51Speaker 3: he did come here to see me, and she goes
- 26:54Speaker 3: on to say that he has very like Korean views
- 27:00Speaker 3: and lives a very Korean lifestyle, and that when she's
- 27:03Speaker 3: with him, she somehow feels both less and more Korean,
- 27:08Speaker 3: which is something I'm interested in talking about further. And
- 27:11Speaker 3: then they also talk about their relationship, Nora and Arthur's relationship,
- 27:16Speaker 3: and you know, whether or not she's happy with the
- 27:19Speaker 3: life they've built together. And this is when Arthur's kind
- 27:22Speaker 3: of joking about a fictional version of this story where
- 27:26Speaker 3: you know, two childhood lovers reunite and run away together
- 27:30Speaker 3: after all these years and there's an evil white American
- 27:34Speaker 3: husband who's trying to stop them and all this stuff.
- 27:37Speaker 3: And Norah's like, that's not going to happen. I've built
- 27:40Speaker 3: my life here with you and I love you. And
- 27:43Speaker 3: he's like, okay, tight, tight, tight, And.
- 27:45Speaker 1: She also says, I'm not going to give up my play,
- 27:48Speaker 1: you know, rehearsal, Yeah, which I love because it's not like, oh,
- 27:51Speaker 1: I'm either with you or with him. No, it's I
- 27:54Speaker 1: have my own career and you know, I'm not giving
- 27:57Speaker 1: that up. That was actually I think the most important
- 28:00Speaker 1: point that she made.
- 28:01Speaker 3: Yeah, she says something like I'm not gonna miss my
- 28:03Speaker 3: rehearsals for some dude, preferring to as like, you know,
- 28:08Speaker 3: long lost child love of hers as some dude, which
- 28:11Speaker 3: is pretty funny.
- 28:12Speaker 2: Well, I also like that Arthur is trying to play
- 28:16Speaker 2: off being insecure, but like he is so insecure that
- 28:18Speaker 2: he's not the key about her career and she has
- 28:21Speaker 2: to be like, well, hold on, you know, like love
- 28:25Speaker 2: you and everything, but like you're just saying, Nancy, like
- 28:27Speaker 2: you are not the only reason that my life is
- 28:29Speaker 2: here now, Like I've busted my ass to have my
- 28:32Speaker 2: life be here for a lot of reasons.
- 28:35Speaker 3: Yep. Okay. So the next day, Nora and he Sung
- 28:40Speaker 3: meet up again and it's his last day in New
- 28:43Speaker 3: York before he heads back to Soul and he meets
- 28:47Speaker 3: Arthur too. They go out for pasta and for drinks,
- 28:51Speaker 3: and then we reach that scene that's the opening scene
- 28:54Speaker 3: of the movie, where the three of them are together
- 28:57Speaker 3: and people are, you know, trying to guess their dynamic,
- 29:01Speaker 3: and the conversation is a little awkward because of this
- 29:05Speaker 3: language barrier between Haysung and Arthur, Nora is having to
- 29:09Speaker 3: translate quite a bit, and then Haysung gets serious for
- 29:13Speaker 3: a moment and he tells Nora that seeing how much
- 29:17Speaker 3: she loves her husband, he didn't realize how much that
- 29:21Speaker 3: would hurt him. He also says he's having all these
- 29:24Speaker 3: thoughts of, oh, what if I did come to see
- 29:27Speaker 3: you twelve years ago in New York, or what if
- 29:30Speaker 3: you had never left Soul when you were a kid.
- 29:33Speaker 3: But they both acknowledge that what was supposed to happen happened,
- 29:39Speaker 3: though Nora does wonder if there was something in their
- 29:42Speaker 3: past lives that brought them back together in Yuan, of course,
- 29:46Speaker 3: and they talk about how in Yuan brought Nora and
- 29:50Speaker 3: Arthur together and how there's even in Yon between Arthur
- 29:53Speaker 3: and Haysong.
- 29:54Speaker 1: I love that.
- 29:55Speaker 2: M hm.
- 29:56Speaker 1: That was like my favorite, right that it's always I
- 29:58Speaker 1: think the love triangle is always represented so one dimensionally,
- 30:03Speaker 1: and here there is a connection, right, there is a
- 30:06Speaker 1: connection even between the two men.
- 30:08Speaker 3: Definitely. Yeah, what we're used to seeing is the not
- 30:12Speaker 3: to be bringing up Titanic again, but the Billy Zane
- 30:15Speaker 3: Leonardo DiCaprio of it all where they're both hero villain. Yeah,
- 30:21Speaker 3: so yeah, this was far more nuanced.
- 30:23Speaker 2: No one punching anybody here, No, no punching, no shooting,
- 30:28Speaker 2: no shipwreck, no.
- 30:31Speaker 1: But heartache, a lot of heartache, heartache. And I think
- 30:34Speaker 1: someone says that, you know, I didn't even hurt him
- 30:37Speaker 1: to even like Arthur, right that it's kind of like
- 30:40Speaker 1: because it's like, you want, you want the idea that oh,
- 30:43Speaker 1: she's married to with some terrible person, I'm gonna be
- 30:45Speaker 1: able to whisker her away, but instead, no, she's happy
- 30:47Speaker 1: with a really good guy. Yeah.
- 30:50Speaker 2: Yeah, And just the fact that Cilian Song clearly has
- 30:53Speaker 2: so much love for all three of these characters and
- 30:55Speaker 2: it takes the time to explore how they all feel
- 30:58Speaker 2: about each other. It's just it's so.
- 31:01Speaker 3: Rare, totally okay. So, as they're parting ways, Nora waits
- 31:08Speaker 3: with his song as he's waiting for his uber, and
- 31:12Speaker 3: they stare intently at each other, and then he says,
- 31:16Speaker 3: what if this is a past life two and we're
- 31:19Speaker 3: already something else to each other in our next life
- 31:22Speaker 3: And she's like, yeah, maybe, and he's like, well, see
- 31:26Speaker 3: you then, and then he gets in his uber and leaves,
- 31:30Speaker 3: and then Norah walks the few steps back home and
- 31:35Speaker 3: she's crying, and Arthur is there and he embraces her,
- 31:39Speaker 3: and we're crying. Everyone's crying. It's very emotional. And that's
- 31:44Speaker 3: the end of the movie. So let's take another quick
- 31:48Speaker 3: break and we will come back to discuss and we're back.
- 32:02Speaker 2: Nancy. I want to start with talking with you about
- 32:06Speaker 2: your connection to this movie and also just the process
- 32:10Speaker 2: of writing this beautiful piece.
- 32:12Speaker 1: Yeah. So when I saw the movie that first time
- 32:15Speaker 1: I had during the pandemic thought about going back to Taiwan,
- 32:19Speaker 1: I was like, oh, there's all this anti Asian hate.
- 32:22Speaker 1: I'm you know, I didn't even choose to come here.
- 32:25Speaker 1: I was like, like Nora's character, you know, came as
- 32:29Speaker 1: a child. Although when I talked to Selene, she did
- 32:31Speaker 1: feel like she had a choice, right. I came when
- 32:34Speaker 1: I was younger, and I felt like, you know, my
- 32:36Speaker 1: parents just brought me. It was not my choice. I
- 32:38Speaker 1: left behind a lot of loved ones. No childhood, sweetheart,
- 32:42Speaker 1: but my grandparents who raised me, who were basically the
- 32:45Speaker 1: only people that I really loved because I didn't actually
- 32:48Speaker 1: know my parents. So slightly different immigration story than the movie,
- 32:51Speaker 1: but still a feeling of kind of longing for a
- 32:56Speaker 1: place that I had left. And at one point, I
- 32:58Speaker 1: think the first time she comes back from meeting Haysan's,
- 33:02Speaker 1: she says to Arthur that she was emotional. She's like,
- 33:04Speaker 1: I think I just missed Korea. And when she said that,
- 33:07Speaker 1: I was like, yes, I just missed Taiwan. I really
- 33:10Speaker 1: really missed Taiwan. And I actually went this past winter.
- 33:15Speaker 1: It had just opened up just recently, and I went
- 33:18Speaker 1: and I just felt this kind of longing that I
- 33:21Speaker 1: haven't felt actually so strongly. And I think the movie
- 33:26Speaker 1: really capture that that it's not just about relationships, but
- 33:29Speaker 1: it's a life that you might have had if you
- 33:32Speaker 1: hadn't left, right. And I think Korea and Taiwan these
- 33:35Speaker 1: are countries that are democracies where we're not fleeing war.
- 33:40Speaker 1: At least when I came, I wasn't fleeing poverty. So
- 33:43Speaker 1: it's like, why am I even here? Why, you know,
- 33:47Speaker 1: why can't I be somewhere where there's public health, you know,
- 33:51Speaker 1: there's health, health care for everybody around exactly so. But
- 33:57Speaker 1: when I talked to Seley, she was much more focused on,
- 34:00Speaker 1: you know, we are where we are meant to be, right,
- 34:04Speaker 1: And I think that the longing that is captured. It
- 34:07Speaker 1: really triggered stuff for me. But I think she was
- 34:11Speaker 1: she I mean, she's fine with audiences taking away whatever
- 34:14Speaker 1: they She just said that people asked her like or
- 34:16Speaker 1: to start to talk to her about exes and how
- 34:19Speaker 1: some people went back to exes and other people were
- 34:22Speaker 1: like appreciating what they had, so that people had all
- 34:25Speaker 1: sorts of relationship reactions, you know, because like you said,
- 34:29Speaker 1: it was very specific but super universal in the idea
- 34:32Speaker 1: of past loves. But for me, I definitely came to it,
- 34:36Speaker 1: and the interview really about centered on the immigration story
- 34:41Speaker 1: and Caitlin you had asked about how why you know
- 34:44Speaker 1: she would feel simultaneously more and less Korean when she
- 34:48Speaker 1: was with Hayesung. When I went to Taiwan this past winter,
- 34:52Speaker 1: That's how I felt. I felt more Taiwanese but also
- 34:56Speaker 1: less right. So I realized the cultural differences. I realized
- 34:59Speaker 1: there were language I didn't know. But by the time
- 35:01Speaker 1: I was leaving after two weeks, I felt like, oh
- 35:04Speaker 1: I am I feel now more time whin needs, you know,
- 35:07Speaker 1: because I had connected with parts of my culture and
- 35:11Speaker 1: realized that I knew I understood it. More memories of
- 35:14Speaker 1: it coming back more than I would think of when
- 35:18Speaker 1: I'm here in the States. So it is this kind
- 35:20Speaker 1: of when you're in between, when you're a young immigrant,
- 35:23Speaker 1: you have dual identities that you know that are always
- 35:26Speaker 1: kind of shuffling back and forth, and I think that
- 35:29Speaker 1: the film really captures that both viscerally through you know,
- 35:32Speaker 1: a relationship, but also just her kind of reflection on it.
- 35:36Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's such a familiar experience and feeling
- 35:40Speaker 3: for a lot of immigrants, especially those who immigrated as
- 35:45Speaker 3: young people are also just children of immigrants who feel
- 35:51Speaker 3: they belong to two different places, but also in some
- 35:54Speaker 3: cases feel like they don't really belong to either place.
- 35:56Speaker 3: And you know, the feeling of not being able to
- 36:00Speaker 3: say a proper goodbye to the community and the place
- 36:04Speaker 3: you left behind, and the kind of wonder of what
- 36:11Speaker 3: would things have been if I had never left, and
- 36:14Speaker 3: all of these things that the movie I think handles
- 36:17Speaker 3: really thoughtfully and beautifully.
- 36:19Speaker 2: Yeah, your piece is just the conversation is so beautiful,
- 36:24Speaker 2: and you both sort of make this connection that I
- 36:27Speaker 2: think I was so swept up in the emotion on
- 36:30Speaker 2: my first viewing, but watching it the second time, it's
- 36:32Speaker 2: like the inherent connection of hayesung to her home and
- 36:38Speaker 2: like how it is this deep emotional relationship, but also
- 36:43Speaker 2: he represents more than that, and like, how do you
- 36:46Speaker 2: navigate that sort of split and how do you navigate
- 36:50Speaker 2: like what you are understandably connecting to someone and then separating, Well,
- 36:56Speaker 2: who are they and who am I in relation to them?
- 36:59Speaker 2: And it's just it's beautiful. I feel like this movie
- 37:03Speaker 2: really rewards on rewatching absolutely and gives you another chance
- 37:09Speaker 2: to see Boner. It's the it's very temper of the book.
- 37:15Speaker 2: Thank you for saying that.
- 37:18Speaker 1: Selene talks about like their memories of each other who
- 37:21Speaker 1: they were as children was kind of frozen, right because
- 37:24Speaker 1: of the kind of very fast parting, And so when
- 37:28Speaker 1: they come together, you know physically, right, they see each
- 37:31Speaker 1: other through Skype throughout the year, but this is twenty
- 37:33Speaker 1: seven years later, and that kind of connection because of
- 37:37Speaker 1: that memory of who they were, and then and then
- 37:41Speaker 1: the kind of shock at oh you are different, right,
- 37:45Speaker 1: He's so Korean, And it's like when I go to Taiwan,
- 37:48Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, they are culturally distinct, you know, from
- 37:52Speaker 1: from where I came from. And then wondering is that
- 37:56Speaker 1: connection still there? Is that possible because there is this
- 38:00Speaker 1: this golf because you know, I've been raised in another
- 38:03Speaker 1: culture and yet this longing for that and memory that
- 38:07Speaker 1: I once was here. So it's this it's so complicated,
- 38:11Speaker 1: and then and it's wrapped up in one's identity, right,
- 38:15Speaker 1: and then you're kind of like you're searching within yourself.
- 38:19Speaker 1: So so many layers of emotions that come up for
- 38:22Speaker 1: this kind of immigration love.
- 38:25Speaker 3: Story totally, and Jamie to speak to your point about
- 38:30Speaker 3: the sort of like universality of it, even for people
- 38:34Speaker 3: who aren't like separated by a cultural difference. Even if
- 38:38Speaker 3: you just like reconnect with someone from your childhood who
- 38:41Speaker 3: you were once very close with, but then you're separated
- 38:44Speaker 3: by you know, twenty or so years of not having
- 38:48Speaker 3: spoken and not keeping up to date with the other person.
- 38:52Speaker 3: This has happened to me where like I've reconnected with
- 38:54Speaker 3: high school friends many years later and then I'm like, oh,
- 38:57Speaker 3: we don't. It's kind of weird, isn't it is. We're
- 39:01Speaker 3: very different people now and we don't have that much
- 39:03Speaker 3: in common anymore and that much to talk about. Not
- 39:05Speaker 3: that that's necessarily what's happening exactly with Nora and Haysong,
- 39:09Speaker 3: but you get like kind of glimpses of that where
- 39:12Speaker 3: there are these cultural differences or just like personality differences.
- 39:17Speaker 2: Yeah, you just change as you get older, Like I
- 39:20Speaker 2: think about yeah, like questioning and I thought this before,
- 39:23Speaker 2: and just reconnecting with someone from the past, like does
- 39:26Speaker 2: it make sense for me to be in this person's
- 39:28Speaker 2: life or do we just miss who we were when
- 39:31Speaker 2: we knew each other and or like where we were
- 39:34Speaker 2: when we knew each other. And it's like a kind
- 39:36Speaker 2: of a painful question because sometimes the answer is like, yeah,
- 39:41Speaker 2: maybe our time in each other's lives, like it might
- 39:43Speaker 2: not make any sense anymore. And it's nice to reconnect,
- 39:47Speaker 2: but like and I think, especially when it's like a
- 39:50Speaker 2: romantic connection, it's even harder to parse out because you're
- 39:53Speaker 2: a horny and so that's challenging.
- 39:57Speaker 4: But to be like, you know, you can see even
- 40:01Speaker 4: though at no point in the movie was I thinking
- 40:05Speaker 4: like Nora is going to leave with Hayesung, there are
- 40:11Speaker 4: moments that you can or at least maybe I'm projecting
- 40:14Speaker 4: a dart, but you can see her trying to like
- 40:16Speaker 4: game out like well, what does that look like a
- 40:20Speaker 4: year from now?
- 40:20Speaker 2: Like how would it actually work? And that's like a
- 40:24Speaker 2: necessary but like painful thing to watch a character navigate
- 40:27Speaker 2: on both ends.
- 40:30Speaker 3: There's another piece I found about this movie that I
- 40:35Speaker 3: also thought was great. It's by Sylvia Jiholi, published in
- 40:40Speaker 3: Little White Lies. It's entitled Past Lives finally pushes the
- 40:44Speaker 3: Asian American diaspora genre into the present. And I want
- 40:49Speaker 3: to kind of like half quote half paraphrase this, but
- 40:54Speaker 3: it opens with quote. It's no secret that Hollywood loves
- 40:58Speaker 3: the formula. When Asianama American stories proved marketable to Western
- 41:02Speaker 3: audiences in the nineties with Wayne Wang's Joylot Club and
- 41:07Speaker 3: Angli's Father Knows Best trilogy, a new cliche similarly arose
- 41:11Speaker 3: to counterbalance its unconventional subject, Asian Americans as walking oxymorons,
- 41:18Speaker 3: the only identity in the world to be labeled with
- 41:21Speaker 3: the ethnicities they weren't enough of. A classic protagonist symbolized
- 41:26Speaker 3: the split between East and West, someone who was too
- 41:30Speaker 3: Asian to fully fit in with work colleagues, but to
- 41:34Speaker 3: American to adopt their parents' values as gospel. The resulting
- 41:38Speaker 3: conflict was one that inherently viewed the motherland as an
- 41:42Speaker 3: impediment to true assimilation, implying a life perpetually lived in
- 41:47Speaker 3: service to either Asian approval or white validation. These films
- 41:52Speaker 3: potentially resonated with an earlier generation whose immigration was inherently
- 41:57Speaker 3: predicated on conforming to white but is no longer the
- 42:02Speaker 3: case for someone like me who came of age in
- 42:04Speaker 3: the same country with little care for that sort of acceptance.
- 42:08Speaker 3: A modern approach to Asian diasporic diasporic Which way do
- 42:14Speaker 3: you say that diasporic filmmaking should push self definition beyond
- 42:21Speaker 3: this binary something I see in Saline Songs Past Lives unquote.
- 42:27Speaker 3: I know that was a long excerpt from that, but yeah,
- 42:32Speaker 3: the piece goes on to examine the kind of emotions
- 42:35Speaker 3: and nuances that surround the act of leaving your home country,
- 42:42Speaker 3: of assimilating into a new culture and mindset, of missing
- 42:47Speaker 3: your home, and how a person's feelings toward those things
- 42:51Speaker 3: evolve as you mature. And yeah, I just thought this
- 42:55Speaker 3: was like such a great piece that touches on so
- 42:58Speaker 3: much of what the is doing.
- 43:01Speaker 1: Yeah, there isn't kind of a East versus West. There
- 43:06Speaker 1: isn't actually even much talk about that so much in
- 43:10Speaker 1: that Oh my gosh, even though she says, you know,
- 43:12Speaker 1: I think I missed Korea. It's not you don't hit
- 43:16Speaker 1: over the head with the immigrant story. You see her
- 43:19Speaker 1: as a young immigrant. You see where she's at, and
- 43:22Speaker 1: you see how you know, she and both Hayes wonder
- 43:25Speaker 1: about what their lives could have been she if she
- 43:27Speaker 1: hadn't immigrated. But it's really centered on the relationship, right,
- 43:31Speaker 1: and it's not about like you see her parents too,
- 43:35Speaker 1: but her parents are not tortured in any way, and
- 43:39Speaker 1: that her parents, I mean her parents who are artists.
- 43:41Speaker 1: She's an artist those that's kind of anti stereotype already,
- 43:44Speaker 1: because I think there's a lot of one singular representation
- 43:48Speaker 1: of immigrants, even though a lot of immigrants from East
- 43:51Speaker 1: Asia are coming from you know, actually because of the laws,
- 43:55Speaker 1: they had to be highly educated because those were the
- 43:57Speaker 1: ones that were they you know, the United States was
- 43:59Speaker 1: letting in posting and that their artists, which is not
- 44:02Speaker 1: something I think that Asian Americans are typically portrayed as,
- 44:06Speaker 1: especially in the immigrant generation, and that they didn't leave
- 44:10Speaker 1: because of a push factor, but they just wanted to
- 44:12Speaker 1: try something new. That's very universal, right, It's like just
- 44:17Speaker 1: people moving through their lives and making choices. And I
- 44:20Speaker 1: think that that is true because I think about I
- 44:22Speaker 1: think my parents just wanted to come here because that
- 44:25Speaker 1: was the thing to do for educated Taiwanese Americans. It
- 44:29Speaker 1: wasn't like they didn't have jobs back at home. They
- 44:31Speaker 1: just wanted to do. They wanted to be like overachievers
- 44:34Speaker 1: and do what everybody and it was a trend or something,
- 44:36Speaker 1: you know. It was just if you could do it,
- 44:38Speaker 1: you do it. And none of them said that they
- 44:41Speaker 1: came here to make a better life for me. That's
- 44:44Speaker 1: not like like those stories and those tropes never resonated
- 44:47Speaker 1: with me. I mean, I grew up kind of dysfunctionally too,
- 44:50Speaker 1: so I never think of like I owe my parents
- 44:53Speaker 1: or anything like that. And that wasn't represented in this
- 44:55Speaker 1: story either, Right. Her mom and her just had a
- 44:58Speaker 1: great relationship. They talked about you know, I just talked
- 45:01Speaker 1: and they visited and it wasn't it wasn't a big deal.
- 45:04Speaker 1: And I think that it is a very modern representation.
- 45:08Speaker 1: There's no tension between that and there isn't any kind
- 45:11Speaker 1: of white worshiping in this sense because she's literally sitting
- 45:14Speaker 1: between these two people that she is you know that
- 45:17Speaker 1: she has loved and now she loves and it's just life.
- 45:20Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, Yeah, so many tropes subverted in this movie,
- 45:26Speaker 3: and again it's so refreshing.
- 45:28Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's just like effortless to what the story is.
- 45:31Speaker 2: Where I like that, I don't know. I feel like
- 45:35Speaker 2: often in stories, I'm like, I want to see this
- 45:38Speaker 2: character's dynamic with their family more, which I wouldn't have
- 45:42Speaker 2: disliked it in this story, but it felt like where
- 45:45Speaker 2: this story lies is so confidently with these three characters,
- 45:50Speaker 2: and more specifically these two characters, and I really appreciate how.
- 45:56Speaker 2: And it also is like it doesn't work if Celia's
- 45:58Speaker 2: song isn't an amazing writer, which she is, and there's
- 46:03Speaker 2: no I feel like there's a lot of writing that
- 46:05Speaker 2: self consciously kind of over explains, like what happened in
- 46:10Speaker 2: the interceding twelve years, but you're just showing it and
- 46:14Speaker 2: you know you don't know everything, but you know enough
- 46:17Speaker 2: to be deeply invested in what's going on with these characters,
- 46:20Speaker 2: because it wasn't I don't think until my second or
- 46:23Speaker 2: third viewing where I was like, I wonder.
- 46:25Speaker 1: What are sister's up to?
- 46:27Speaker 2: But like it's are the story is so book?
- 46:31Speaker 1: Where's Michelle? Where's Michelle?
- 46:33Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I want, And I mean, instead of Boner,
- 46:37Speaker 2: is what's Michelle up to? But in a lesser movie
- 46:44Speaker 2: that would have pinged for me. But it's like this
- 46:46Speaker 2: movie is just completely we are with Nora, and I
- 46:51Speaker 2: really really love.
- 46:52Speaker 3: That same And like we've mentioned, the movie cares enough
- 46:58Speaker 3: about the other characters besides Nora to really kind of
- 47:03Speaker 3: fully explore their emotions as they relate to the events
- 47:07Speaker 3: of the story in a way that I thought was
- 47:09Speaker 3: also interesting, because you know, a big component of this
- 47:13Speaker 3: movie is examining how Nora feels about her circumstances, but
- 47:19Speaker 3: there's also a decent emphasis on the men's feelings. And
- 47:24Speaker 3: not to talk about men on the Bechdel cast, but
- 47:29Speaker 3: these are two men who I think are i would say,
- 47:32Speaker 3: more emotionally intelligent and expressive than a typical Hollywood movie
- 47:39Speaker 3: male character, and I really appreciated that. I was so
- 47:44Speaker 3: blown away by the scene where Nora and her husband
- 47:48Speaker 3: Arthur are having a conversation where she has just come
- 47:53Speaker 3: from her first day of hanging out with Heysong and
- 47:58Speaker 3: Arthur says is he attractive? And she's like, yeah, I
- 48:01Speaker 3: think so, and then he's like, well, are you attracted
- 48:05Speaker 3: to him, and then she like pauses to ponder this
- 48:09Speaker 3: and then says, I don't think so. It's just that
- 48:12Speaker 3: he was, you know, a memory from my childhood, and
- 48:16Speaker 3: then he was an image on my laptop and now
- 48:19Speaker 3: he's a physical person and that's very intense. But I
- 48:23Speaker 3: don't think it's attraction. And you can tell that Arthur
- 48:27Speaker 3: isn't necessarily like thrilled about this situation, and he seems
- 48:32Speaker 3: insecure about it. But I also feel like he's handling
- 48:34Speaker 3: it fairly maturely. He doesn't fly into a jealous rage,
- 48:39Speaker 3: which is what I'm accustomed to seeing in real life
- 48:43Speaker 3: and in movies, which is really more of an indication
- 48:46Speaker 3: of the low bar for men's behavior than it is
- 48:49Speaker 3: for anything else.
- 48:50Speaker 2: But right, because he's not perfect either, and I think
- 48:53Speaker 2: that that's equally important. You can tell he's insecure, you
- 48:56Speaker 2: can tell when he feels awkward and out of place,
- 48:59Speaker 2: and even at some point times I think annoyed. I'm
- 49:02Speaker 2: sure every viewer feels a little different about his reactions,
- 49:06Speaker 2: and I kind of felt different from viewing to viewing,
- 49:09Speaker 2: where sometimes I'm like, ah, that I get Wyatt, and
- 49:11Speaker 2: the other times I'm just like, let them have their
- 49:13Speaker 2: moment get.
- 49:14Speaker 3: Out leave, yeah, get out of the way. But all
- 49:18Speaker 3: this to say that I felt like that conversation between
- 49:20Speaker 3: the two of them was one of the most honest
- 49:23Speaker 3: and mature conversations I've seen on screen between a married couple.
- 49:29Speaker 3: Kind of Ever, like characters are never that honest and
- 49:33Speaker 3: open with each other about because you would normally see, oh,
- 49:37Speaker 3: are you attracted to him? Of course not. No, I
- 49:39Speaker 3: only have eyes for you, baby, You're the only person
- 49:42Speaker 3: I've ever been attracted to, and blah blah blah. And
- 49:44Speaker 3: it's just like, that's not real life. Conversations like that
- 49:48Speaker 3: might happen, but it's between people who aren't mature enough
- 49:52Speaker 3: to be open and honest with each other and to
- 49:54Speaker 3: accept other people's honesty. I was like blown away by
- 49:58Speaker 3: how profoundly honest and open it was. I loved it.
- 50:04Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was real if for people who have
- 50:06Speaker 1: healthy long term relationships, right, it's I definitely. I actually
- 50:11Speaker 1: with my partner, my husband, and we've been married many,
- 50:14Speaker 1: many years, over two decades, and thank you, and I
- 50:19Speaker 1: have actually had a very similar conversation like they did.
- 50:23Speaker 1: And because if it's based on mutual respect, you don't
- 50:26Speaker 1: want to accuse someone you know, ye, you've known forever,
- 50:30Speaker 1: but you want to ask those questions just to make
- 50:32Speaker 1: sure because of that, you know, that tiny bit of doubt,
- 50:36Speaker 1: and also making sure things are appropriate, right, but that's
- 50:40Speaker 1: negotiable as well, right if you trust each other. And
- 50:43Speaker 1: I think that it is realistic, and I'm sure it's
- 50:46Speaker 1: probably based on what happened right in her in her
- 50:48Speaker 1: real life. And that's and I think that's the beauty
- 50:51Speaker 1: of this film. It resonates so much because I think
- 50:53Speaker 1: it is rooted in reality rather than, like you said,
- 50:57Speaker 1: these Hollywood tropes. But you know what's really interesting is
- 50:59Speaker 1: that at the very very end, you know how Arthur
- 51:02Speaker 1: waits for Nora. I was talking to someone and they said, oh,
- 51:06Speaker 1: it's because he didn't trust her, and I was like, oh,
- 51:09Speaker 1: that's not how I read it at all. I thought
- 51:11Speaker 1: he was waiting for her because he knew she would
- 51:13Speaker 1: be emotional and would need support. But this is the
- 51:17Speaker 1: whole Jamie, what you were saying that you know, a
- 51:18Speaker 1: lot is left unsead. So you know, this person I
- 51:22Speaker 1: was talking to know had a totally different interpretation of that,
- 51:24Speaker 1: because you don't even hear them say anything. You just
- 51:27Speaker 1: hear it. You just see him holding her as she's
- 51:29Speaker 1: you know, bawling at the end, and it's like I
- 51:32Speaker 1: thought he was standing for all of us who are bolling,
- 51:35Speaker 1: Like I need that hung too, Arthur, because this lovely
- 51:40Speaker 1: man just left and I don't know what to do.
- 51:43Speaker 1: And so yeah, so I think this, I don't know
- 51:45Speaker 1: people's expectations of what, Yeah, the jealous husband is supposed
- 51:49Speaker 1: to look like.
- 51:50Speaker 3: Totally yeah. And he describes it in this like fictional
- 51:55Speaker 3: Hollywood version of the story that could play it out
- 51:58Speaker 3: in a very Hollywood way where it's, you know, two
- 52:02Speaker 3: people reconnect after a long time and discover their love
- 52:06Speaker 3: for each other again and the woman leaves her evil
- 52:09Speaker 3: husband to be with her childhoods sweetheart and that's like
- 52:13Speaker 3: again the very like fantasy Hollywood version of that story.
- 52:17Speaker 3: And he's like joking about it because like this movie
- 52:19Speaker 3: is the antithesis of like a typical Hollywood narrative like that.
- 52:25Speaker 3: And again, like.
- 52:25Speaker 2: Selin Song finds these really funny visuals that she doesn't
- 52:30Speaker 2: call out, but like the scene where Nora comes home
- 52:34Speaker 2: and she's had one of the most emotionally challenging days
- 52:37Speaker 2: of her life, reconnecting with Haysong and her husband is
- 52:41Speaker 2: gaming and you're just like, oh my god.
- 52:46Speaker 3: He's playing Call of Booty or something.
- 52:48Speaker 2: Right, and you're just like that he's trying to distract himself.
- 52:53Speaker 1: I was thinking, you know, he really needed because he's
- 52:55Speaker 1: like thinking about, you know, his wife out. Yeah, exactly,
- 53:00Speaker 1: so he has to game in order to like distract himself.
- 53:04Speaker 1: That I thought that was my interpretation of that. Yeah, totally. Again,
- 53:07Speaker 1: it's just like.
- 53:08Speaker 2: Showing, not telling of like, Okay, they are both having
- 53:12Speaker 2: a day. And also it's just like kind of this
- 53:15Speaker 2: domestic scene and getting back to what you were talking about, Nancy,
- 53:19Speaker 2: about their relationship. There were moments in and yeah, I think,
- 53:23Speaker 2: you know, there's like an understandable tendency to project your
- 53:26Speaker 2: own relationship history onto this movie. But I really appreciated
- 53:31Speaker 2: that they had enough mutual respect that when he asked
- 53:37Speaker 2: her challenging questions, where it probably would have been more
- 53:40Speaker 2: calming or and more soothing to hear the like, no,
- 53:43Speaker 2: it's nothing, I feel nothing, like Nora is like I
- 53:47Speaker 2: don't know, like I'm trying to figure out how I
- 53:49Speaker 2: feel about it. I'm not sure, and like doesn't give
- 53:53Speaker 2: the reflexive comfort that I think in a lot of
- 53:57Speaker 2: hetero relationships, women are conditioned to give men of just
- 54:01Speaker 2: and that does go both ways, but I think more
- 54:04Speaker 2: so in that direction of like well, no, of course,
- 54:07Speaker 2: and like rest assured blah blah blah. And but instead
- 54:10Speaker 2: this is like a true partnership that is going to
- 54:13Speaker 2: have to weather some challenging shit, and that he is
- 54:19Speaker 2: considerate enough of her to know that, like he can't
- 54:23Speaker 2: understand the set of emotions she's navigating, and what his
- 54:26Speaker 2: job is is to be present for her in the
- 54:29Speaker 2: way that she needs. And that's like his test here,
- 54:34Speaker 2: and I think he does his best. I don't know,
- 54:36Speaker 2: and I agree with your read at the end, Nancy
- 54:38Speaker 2: that it's just like I'm sure he was a little anxious,
- 54:41Speaker 2: but it's also like, I mean, if there's any time
- 54:43Speaker 2: you're gonna need a hug, that's the time.
- 54:48Speaker 3: That's it.
- 54:49Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 54:49Speaker 1: Yeah. And when he's sitting next to her on the bar,
- 54:52Speaker 1: just kind of sitting and letting the two of them
- 54:54Speaker 1: talk bout in of itself, I thought was a was
- 54:57Speaker 1: really showing his support.
- 54:59Speaker 3: For sure. So many straight white men would do whatever
- 55:02Speaker 3: they could to try to insert themselves into that situation
- 55:07Speaker 3: and just like be obnoxious about it, but he's like.
- 55:10Speaker 2: He's sitting there thinking about the plot of Boner two.
- 55:15Speaker 1: Laying his gaming.
- 55:18Speaker 2: Call of Duty highlights, just playing passively in his mind
- 55:23Speaker 2: or touches like lot. Even though they, like all three
- 55:29Speaker 2: of them, are in not easily navigated situation, it's weirdly soothing,
- 55:35Speaker 2: I think, to see characters in a movie and just
- 55:37Speaker 2: know that you're like, everyone is doing their best. Everyone's
- 55:42Speaker 2: doing their best, and it's nice even though it's like
- 55:46Speaker 2: it's an impossible thing to do perfectly, because there's no
- 55:49Speaker 2: such thing as a perfect way for this scenario to go.
- 55:53Speaker 2: But everyone's doing their best, and that made me feel
- 55:57Speaker 2: even though it's a difficult watch if you're not emotionally
- 56:00Speaker 2: prepared for it, it is nice to feel like, well,
- 56:04Speaker 2: these three characters did their absolute best to get through
- 56:08Speaker 2: it with respect for themselves and for the other people,
- 56:12Speaker 2: which is just kind of a rare thing to.
- 56:15Speaker 3: See totally, because with his song, he is a character
- 56:20Speaker 3: who even from childhood, he is sensitive, he's easily emotionally affected,
- 56:27Speaker 3: but you also see him like maturing over the years
- 56:31Speaker 3: as far as like how he processes and expresses his emotions,
- 56:36Speaker 3: and I'm not saying he's necessarily like a beacon of
- 56:40Speaker 3: emotional intelligence.
- 56:41Speaker 2: But what man is?
- 56:43Speaker 3: What man is? Number one? Number two, We are so
- 56:45Speaker 3: used to seeing men on screen who are extremely emotionally repressed,
- 56:52Speaker 3: and that doesn't come from nothing. Obviously, there's a real
- 56:55Speaker 3: life precedent for that. Or we see a man who's
- 56:59Speaker 3: you know, made emotion that they express is aggression. But
- 57:04Speaker 3: we see this character who is far more sensitive than
- 57:09Speaker 3: you know, your typical male movie character, where when he's
- 57:15Speaker 3: learning that Nyong is moving away, he's visibly upset by it.
- 57:21Speaker 3: He's like trying his best to comfort her in different
- 57:24Speaker 3: situations and be supportive, but he's also twelve and he
- 57:26Speaker 3: doesn't really know how to navigate that. And then when
- 57:30Speaker 3: he's in his twenties, there's a scene where he's out
- 57:33Speaker 3: drinking with his friends and one of them is upset
- 57:36Speaker 3: because he's just broken up with his girlfriend, and I
- 57:39Speaker 3: Sung embraces him and he's like, let it out, buddy,
- 57:42Speaker 3: It's okay to cry, and I'm like, that's such a
- 57:45Speaker 3: nice thing to see. And then different times he tells
- 57:51Speaker 3: Nora like, it wasn't a joke for me to look
- 57:53Speaker 3: for you. I actually missed you. And I tried really hard.
- 57:56Speaker 3: And when she tells him she wants to stop speaking
- 58:00Speaker 3: for a while, he starts like softly crying, and then
- 58:03Speaker 3: he goes, why am I like this? Because he's, you know,
- 58:07Speaker 3: a man navigating having emotions in a patriarchal world which
- 58:11Speaker 3: encourages men to not express their emotions, and so you know,
- 58:15Speaker 3: I understand his reaction, but you know, he's like openly upset,
- 58:19Speaker 3: but also respecting her boundaries, which is a thing we
- 58:23Speaker 3: also never see men doing. Yes, And then finally, you know,
- 58:27Speaker 3: when they reunite in their thirties, I think they must
- 58:29Speaker 3: be like thirty six. He is talking about, you know,
- 58:33Speaker 3: how sad he was when she abruptly left, and how
- 58:39Speaker 3: he didn't know it would be this hard to see
- 58:41Speaker 3: how much she likes her husband, But he's also acknowledging that, like,
- 58:46Speaker 3: this is where you're supposed to be, Nora like, and
- 58:49Speaker 3: I feel like he's implying that any hope he has
- 58:53Speaker 3: of them being together or winding up together, he knows
- 58:58Speaker 3: is unrealistic. And again, that's such a mature way to
- 59:03Speaker 3: handle that whole situation, And it was really encouraging for
- 59:07Speaker 3: me to see these two different characters who are men
- 59:11Speaker 3: handling these complicated situations with the level of maturity and
- 59:17Speaker 3: emotional intelligence that they display.
- 59:20Speaker 1: So no red flags. There's just two green flag men I.
- 59:25Speaker 2: Know, which is like God. Then it becomes like a
- 59:28Speaker 2: fantasy genre when in my life has there been two
- 59:34Speaker 2: good options interesting?
- 59:37Speaker 3: Usually there are zero.
- 59:41Speaker 1: Yes, no.
- 59:42Speaker 2: But I really appreciate like, even though Hey, Sung, I
- 59:47Speaker 2: think like says much less because we're navigating Nora's relationships centrally.
- 59:54Speaker 2: It's interesting on the rewatch when you sort of stop,
- 59:58Speaker 2: can remove yourself from the like pie and wanting these
- 1:00:00Speaker 2: two characters to be together and like, you can see
- 1:00:04Speaker 2: it a little more clearly of how the types of
- 1:00:08Speaker 2: attachments they have to each other. Where it seems like
- 1:00:12Speaker 2: for Nora, Hayesung is representative of both her childhood and
- 1:00:18Speaker 2: her home, and in the reverse, Nora seems to represent
- 1:00:23Speaker 2: sort of this I don't know, I mean because I
- 1:00:25Speaker 2: feel like I've had versions of this experience of someone
- 1:00:28Speaker 2: who exists in your brain only as a kid, and
- 1:00:31Speaker 2: there's all of this potential for yourself that you attached
- 1:00:36Speaker 2: to people that you knew when you were younger. And
- 1:00:39Speaker 2: because we know that he doesn't seem quite as sure
- 1:00:42Speaker 2: of his professional path as Nora does. He feels like,
- 1:00:46Speaker 2: I mean, he's doing well, but there are insecurities he
- 1:00:49Speaker 2: feels about his income, about his career. It seems like
- 1:00:52Speaker 2: in the professional sense he feels a little more untethered
- 1:00:55Speaker 2: than Nora does, who is very confident and passionate that
- 1:00:58Speaker 2: this is she's doing the right thing. And again, it's
- 1:01:02Speaker 2: just like the writing in this movie is fucking incredible
- 1:01:05Speaker 2: because it's never stated, but you can.
- 1:01:08Speaker 3: I don't know.
- 1:01:09Speaker 2: The more I watched it, the more it was like, Oh,
- 1:01:11Speaker 2: there's like a part of him that is like when
- 1:01:14Speaker 2: I was close with her when I was a child,
- 1:01:17Speaker 2: I had all of this potential and none of this uncertainty,
- 1:01:20Speaker 2: and it's like a longing to reconnect with that too.
- 1:01:25Speaker 2: Or I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it, but I
- 1:01:27Speaker 2: was like, I've definitely thought.
- 1:01:28Speaker 1: That I totally agree because I think that he says
- 1:01:30Speaker 1: that he keeps track of her prizes that she wants
- 1:01:35Speaker 1: to win. Right, you know, what's what's the prize you
- 1:01:38Speaker 1: want now, Pulitzer, A you know, a whatever whatever? Then yes, yes, exactly,
- 1:01:45Speaker 1: And it's I feel like he was living a little
- 1:01:47Speaker 1: bit vicariously through her and maybe she represents something aspirational,
- 1:01:52Speaker 1: and he does ask would I have looked for you
- 1:01:55Speaker 1: if you hadn't left? Like, would he feel the same way.
- 1:01:58Speaker 1: It's like she presents something that, yeah, like a unfulfilled
- 1:02:03Speaker 1: aspiration life that he might have had. And that is
- 1:02:09Speaker 1: so universal, right, it's kind of like, you know, unfulfilled wishes.
- 1:02:14Speaker 1: So I love that, Jamie, because I think I see
- 1:02:16Speaker 1: that now. I didn't think about his his I think
- 1:02:20Speaker 1: I just saw everything from you know, Nora's perspective and
- 1:02:23Speaker 1: really centered on her, which is great because we don't
- 1:02:25Speaker 1: even have enough films or we could do that. Yeah,
- 1:02:28Speaker 1: and so why not? So do I even care about
- 1:02:31Speaker 1: why he likes her and why why her husband is
- 1:02:33Speaker 1: you know, playing games is still there. I didn't even
- 1:02:37Speaker 1: care about his book. That's how little like about their perspectives.
- 1:02:41Speaker 1: I didn't even see the boner, didn't.
- 1:02:45Speaker 2: Fare We're weird for noticing.
- 1:02:48Speaker 1: No, no, no, you know it's it was because I
- 1:02:50Speaker 1: really was just I was able to see myself, I think,
- 1:02:55Speaker 1: in Naura and and that's so rare, and to be
- 1:02:57Speaker 1: able to kind of just fully love that part was
- 1:03:02Speaker 1: just exciting.
- 1:03:03Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:03:03Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like it just like speaks to
- 1:03:05Speaker 2: how strong this movie is. That you can look almost
- 1:03:09Speaker 2: anywhere in terms of like what character you're giving deference to,
- 1:03:14Speaker 2: and you're viewing where you're like and it's like a
- 1:03:17Speaker 2: rewarding and like heart wrenching experience no matter where you're looking.
- 1:03:22Speaker 2: And I cannot wait for Selene Sung to make a
- 1:03:26Speaker 2: million movies, as many movies as she wants. This is
- 1:03:29Speaker 2: just a fun fact I did not know about her
- 1:03:31Speaker 2: because I didn't know much about her before this movie
- 1:03:33Speaker 2: came out. That she I mean, because this is sort
- 1:03:37Speaker 2: of an auto fiction kind of screenplay. She is a playwright,
- 1:03:41Speaker 2: but that during Lockdown she directed a live production of
- 1:03:47Speaker 2: Chekhov's The Seagull using the SIMS four on Twitch And
- 1:03:52Speaker 2: I just think that's one of the best sentences I've
- 1:03:55Speaker 2: ever read. And so few people manage should do something
- 1:04:01Speaker 2: artistically fun and interesting during lockdown, and I was like, Wow,
- 1:04:04Speaker 2: she really is the goat. How does the brain think
- 1:04:09Speaker 2: of that perfect idea?
- 1:04:10Speaker 3: Tell me about it. I just have a couple stray observations,
- 1:04:16Speaker 3: which the first one being I appreciated seeing a married
- 1:04:21Speaker 3: couple who are in their mid thirties who don't have kids,
- 1:04:25Speaker 3: and there's no mention of them trying to have kids. Obviously,
- 1:04:28Speaker 3: I'm not sure what this fictional couple's future holds. Maybe
- 1:04:31Speaker 3: they'll have kids down the road. But as a child
- 1:04:36Speaker 3: free by choice adult myself, I appreciate seeing on screen
- 1:04:42Speaker 3: representation of other child free adults who are close to
- 1:04:47Speaker 3: my age. So stray observation number one. Another thing I
- 1:04:52Speaker 3: would say, like, maybe my only note for this movie
- 1:04:56Speaker 3: is that Nora and Haisan calling each other something in
- 1:05:02Speaker 3: Korean that translates to a pretty ablest word in English.
- 1:05:07Speaker 3: I don't know if it has the same ablest connotation
- 1:05:09Speaker 3: in Korean, but I guess just a reminder that, you know,
- 1:05:14Speaker 3: we on the podcast encourage people to be mindful of
- 1:05:18Speaker 3: the language they use, and even if it is in
- 1:05:20Speaker 3: a joking context, to be aware of anything that has
- 1:05:26Speaker 3: ablest under or overtones. So that's my little speech about that.
- 1:05:31Speaker 3: And then the third and final thing I have for
- 1:05:35Speaker 3: this movie is this Onions have layers.
- 1:05:40Speaker 2: I knew that's just gonna happen.
- 1:05:41Speaker 3: And Indians have layers.
- 1:05:44Speaker 2: I knew it. As like I didn't want to do
- 1:05:46Speaker 2: it at the beginning, but I'm like Caitlin, I trust
- 1:05:49Speaker 2: I'd see this speaks to our Inian and our deep
- 1:05:54Speaker 2: connection that I knew you were going to bring it
- 1:05:55Speaker 2: to Shrek and it was really just a matter of time.
- 1:05:58Speaker 3: It was a matter of time, and I saved it
- 1:06:00Speaker 3: for the end. And yes, you're welcome everybody.
- 1:06:04Speaker 1: Were we actually going to talk about whether it passes
- 1:06:06Speaker 1: the Buchdel test?
- 1:06:07Speaker 3: Yes, we can do that now, unless you have anything
- 1:06:10Speaker 3: else you'd like to say about the movie before we
- 1:06:12Speaker 3: start to wrap up.
- 1:06:13Speaker 1: Oh gosh. I thought that it deserved Best Picture. I
- 1:06:18Speaker 1: knew it wouldn't because of the momentum, but instead they
- 1:06:22Speaker 1: rewarded a film about men behaving really.
- 1:06:25Speaker 2: Badly to say the least.
- 1:06:28Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Toddler esque backstabbing. And I thought, because there
- 1:06:34Speaker 1: were a lot of talk about why maybe Past Lives
- 1:06:37Speaker 1: was going to be looked over because it had no
- 1:06:40Speaker 1: real conflict and no real toxicity. And I thought, and
- 1:06:44Speaker 1: then that's when it made me realize, Wow, Appenheimer is
- 1:06:47Speaker 1: all about toxicity, right that to me, the whole relationships
- 1:06:52Speaker 1: between all the men were how they were going to
- 1:06:54Speaker 1: screw each other over. And I realized that that's not
- 1:06:57Speaker 1: a movie for me. That's not a movie that I'm
- 1:06:59Speaker 1: attracted to. I don't like that watching that it doesn't
- 1:07:02Speaker 1: give me any pleasure and it doesn't make society a
- 1:07:05Speaker 1: better place. So I really felt that that contrast between
- 1:07:09Speaker 1: exactly what we're talking about today, that kind of emotional
- 1:07:11Speaker 1: maturity of the men and just relationships in general, and
- 1:07:15Speaker 1: the objuctification of course of women you know, in that movie,
- 1:07:18Speaker 1: and I just thought, Wow, we're not going to give
- 1:07:21Speaker 1: it to the healthy, wonderful representation that actually can you know,
- 1:07:26Speaker 1: elevate our world. But anyway, that was that was my
- 1:07:30Speaker 1: thought about the Awards season. Yeah, it did win Best
- 1:07:34Speaker 1: Independent Film though.
- 1:07:36Speaker 2: Award, So yes, I was like, they would never let
- 1:07:39Speaker 2: two good movies win in a row. And so because
- 1:07:43Speaker 2: everything everywhere, all at once won Best Picture in twenty
- 1:07:46Speaker 2: twenty three, I'm like, whatever win's in twenty twenty.
- 1:07:48Speaker 1: Four, it's not going to be for me.
- 1:07:51Speaker 2: That was my prediction. And you know, the Oscars are dogshit.
- 1:07:58Speaker 2: But yeah, in terms of of the Bexel test, I
- 1:08:01Speaker 2: believe it.
- 1:08:02Speaker 3: Is a pass.
- 1:08:03Speaker 1: Yes, it passes.
- 1:08:04Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:08:04Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:08:05Speaker 3: Nora talks to her mom about you know, her English
- 1:08:10Speaker 3: name that she chooses. They also talk later when Nora
- 1:08:14Speaker 3: is in her twenties, and the conversation does quickly turn
- 1:08:18Speaker 3: to like, oh, let me look up this boy I
- 1:08:21Speaker 3: had a crush on. So you know, it's not necessarily
- 1:08:24Speaker 3: a movie that passes constantly or consistently. It's pretty fleeting moments.
- 1:08:30Speaker 3: But also, like again, as we always talk about, a
- 1:08:32Speaker 3: movie can like not pass the Bechdel Test or barely pass,
- 1:08:36Speaker 3: and it can still be a poignant, thoughtful feminist movie
- 1:08:42Speaker 3: with good representation, right, And many movies that do pass
- 1:08:45Speaker 3: the Bechdel Test can still be problematic pieces of shit.
- 1:08:49Speaker 2: So yeah, like kind of due by accident are like
- 1:08:52Speaker 2: not thoughtfully Yeah, I mean there's nothing more. I feel
- 1:08:56Speaker 2: like we have to say this every so often just
- 1:08:58Speaker 2: to remind people because I will never forget over the
- 1:09:01Speaker 2: like whatever dust up on Twitter where people were like
- 1:09:05Speaker 2: Fire Island doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, and you're like, god,
- 1:09:09Speaker 2: oh my god, Like it is not the law, but spiritually,
- 1:09:15Speaker 2: I sometimes I'm just like the Bechdel test is a
- 1:09:18Speaker 2: more of a vibe check, which this movie passes handily
- 1:09:22Speaker 2: because yeah, you get the technical past when Nora talks
- 1:09:25Speaker 2: with her mom. But also this is a movie that
- 1:09:28Speaker 2: is written and directed by a woman, that centers on
- 1:09:32Speaker 2: a woman's experiences, thoughts, feelings, relationships. Yeah, no, notes.
- 1:09:39Speaker 1: There's also there's a beautiful scene on the airplane between
- 1:09:44Speaker 1: Nyong and her sister. That's right, and they are speaking
- 1:09:49Speaker 1: in English with each other, how are you? I am fine?
- 1:09:52Speaker 1: And you and you and you. I feel like that
- 1:09:55Speaker 1: scene in of itself should be embodying the Bechdel Test
- 1:09:59Speaker 1: in that because that scene represents their relationship. Also this
- 1:10:04Speaker 1: huge transition that they're going to make between you know,
- 1:10:07Speaker 1: immigrating from Korea to America, and the kind of humor,
- 1:10:11Speaker 1: but also yeah, just kids trying to make light of
- 1:10:15Speaker 1: something that is gonna it's like a huge thing that's
- 1:10:18Speaker 1: going to change their lives forever. Right, So I thought
- 1:10:21Speaker 1: she really is an amazing writer because, yeah, that one
- 1:10:23Speaker 1: little scene of them practicing English and laughing about the
- 1:10:27Speaker 1: kind of I don't know, I think anyone who's taken
- 1:10:31Speaker 1: any kind of language course can really relate where you
- 1:10:33Speaker 1: kind of are silly on a very basic level with
- 1:10:36Speaker 1: a new language. And it's a way to kind of
- 1:10:39Speaker 1: assuage the anxiety you may have about, you know, having
- 1:10:42Speaker 1: to try something new and communicate with people that you
- 1:10:47Speaker 1: know how you're gonna barely be able to communicate with,
- 1:10:49Speaker 1: and the safety of doing that with a sister. Really,
- 1:10:53Speaker 1: I think captures all of that so beautifully. So that
- 1:10:56Speaker 1: scene no boys, no men, no one, you know, and
- 1:11:00Speaker 1: then it's not you're gonna get a transition to that.
- 1:11:02Speaker 1: It's really just about the two of them. I thought
- 1:11:03Speaker 1: that was a really beautiful, beautiful scene.
- 1:11:06Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, thank you for reminding me of that. I
- 1:11:09Speaker 3: almost forgot about that scene, but it's so adorable.
- 1:11:12Speaker 2: It's so tender. The last thing I wanted to shout
- 1:11:14Speaker 2: out with this movie is because I feel like sometimes
- 1:11:17Speaker 2: we kind of forget to shout out the crew, and
- 1:11:20Speaker 2: Cillian Song worked with an incredibly diverse crew in terms
- 1:11:23Speaker 2: of gender, in terms of race. I mean, it's just
- 1:11:25Speaker 2: like it really seems like it was and just based
- 1:11:29Speaker 2: on what I read and saw about behind the scenes,
- 1:11:32Speaker 2: just like a really beautiful group effort. And also for
- 1:11:36Speaker 2: all my twenty twelve heads out there, if you were
- 1:11:39Speaker 2: a fan of the band Grizzly Bear, which I was
- 1:11:44Speaker 2: when I was in college, they did the score for
- 1:11:46Speaker 2: this movie, So yeah, that's the shout out for my
- 1:11:50Speaker 2: college radio heads.
- 1:11:53Speaker 3: Very nice.
- 1:11:55Speaker 1: And I think the producer, the big producer, is the
- 1:11:58Speaker 1: same producer that did Paris as well. Yes, so I
- 1:12:02Speaker 1: thought that was amazing, Like, oh wow, Parasite and Past Lives,
- 1:12:06Speaker 1: it's kind of very different movies. Yeah, but it's like
- 1:12:09Speaker 1: that woman can really spot them, you know, in terms
- 1:12:12Speaker 1: of great, great films.
- 1:12:15Speaker 3: Totally.
- 1:12:16Speaker 2: And then the cinematographer, I hope I'm getting his name
- 1:12:19Speaker 2: right as Shabi or Kirchner, who most famously works with
- 1:12:23Speaker 2: Steve McQueen as well and almost exclusively in features. And
- 1:12:26Speaker 2: I want to chut this out because I feel like,
- 1:12:28Speaker 2: you know, he is a male cinematographer who almost exclusively
- 1:12:32Speaker 2: works with women directors, which is again just a rare find.
- 1:12:36Speaker 2: So a shout out to him for being able to
- 1:12:41Speaker 2: work with women. Most men are bad at that.
- 1:12:43Speaker 3: Certainly. That brings us to our metric, the famous nipple scale,
- 1:12:50Speaker 3: the most important metric of all time, a scale where
- 1:12:54Speaker 3: we rate the movie zero to five nipples based on
- 1:12:58Speaker 3: examining it through an intersectional feminist lens. And I'm going
- 1:13:02Speaker 3: to give this movie the full five nipples. A rare
- 1:13:06Speaker 3: instance on the show, but this is a movie that
- 1:13:10Speaker 3: not only centers a woman, it centers a woman of color,
- 1:13:16Speaker 3: It centers an immigrant. It is written and directed by
- 1:13:21Speaker 3: a woman who also has that exact experience and that
- 1:13:26Speaker 3: is why the movie is so well handled and thoughtfully done.
- 1:13:31Speaker 3: And yeah, I love just the exploration of Nora and
- 1:13:36Speaker 3: her journey with her experience as an immigrant, and also
- 1:13:42Speaker 3: the two men around her. Again not to be like, wow,
- 1:13:47Speaker 3: the male characters are awesome, but in this movie, like,
- 1:13:51Speaker 3: they're really thoughtfully written and characterized in a way that
- 1:13:55Speaker 3: I found to be really refreshing. And I hope that
- 1:13:58Speaker 3: men see this movie and learn a thing or two
- 1:14:01Speaker 3: from it. So yeah, so much to like, so many
- 1:14:04Speaker 3: things that were so well done about this movie. So
- 1:14:07Speaker 3: I'm gonna give it five nipples, and I'm gonna give
- 1:14:10Speaker 3: them to Selene's Song and Greta Lee and also Nora's
- 1:14:19Speaker 3: little sister Michelle.
- 1:14:22Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going the full five two no reason not
- 1:14:24Speaker 2: to write whatever pleasure to get to say that. No,
- 1:14:28Speaker 2: it's this movie. I mean, we've talked it out, but
- 1:14:30Speaker 2: just it is so beautiful. It just made me so
- 1:14:33Speaker 2: excited to see more of Celene Song's work and to
- 1:14:36Speaker 2: see someone just like put a thoughtful, effortless story on screen.
- 1:14:43Speaker 2: The performances are wonderful, all the tactical elements are wonderful,
- 1:14:47Speaker 2: but it doesn't work if Selene Song isn't an incredible
- 1:14:50Speaker 2: and thoughtful filmmaker. And so that is why I'm giving
- 1:14:54Speaker 2: all five nipples to well, Okay, I'm gonna split in half.
- 1:14:58Speaker 2: Half of them go to Cilli and Sog and the
- 1:15:01Speaker 2: other half go to the seagull on the SIMS four.
- 1:15:05Speaker 3: Yes, of course, yes, Nancy, how about you.
- 1:15:08Speaker 1: I'm gonna also do five nipples and five boners for
- 1:15:12Speaker 1: the for the good men that have shown us how
- 1:15:19Speaker 1: men can support women in a way that is healthy
- 1:15:23Speaker 1: and certainly centered on her, and I appreciate that. I
- 1:15:27Speaker 1: think that's why the the you know, we are drawn
- 1:15:29Speaker 1: to these portraits of men because they are so supportive
- 1:15:33Speaker 1: of her and they allow her to kind of have
- 1:15:35Speaker 1: her full emotional journey and not getting her away. So
- 1:15:42Speaker 1: you know, I think that's all we can ask of,
- 1:15:44Speaker 1: you know, our our friends and family members and loved ones,
- 1:15:48Speaker 1: is to be supportive of our emotional journey. So absolutely,
- 1:15:52Speaker 1: so yeah, everything y'all said about the intersectional, it's in
- 1:15:55Speaker 1: an authentic way, in a way that is that feels real,
- 1:15:59Speaker 1: that hasn't been seen before, that isn't white centered, that
- 1:16:03Speaker 1: isn't male centered. But it doesn't ignore them, right, it
- 1:16:07Speaker 1: doesn't try to preach anything. It is just by being
- 1:16:11Speaker 1: real and centered on real, you know, emotionally pretty healthy
- 1:16:15Speaker 1: mature adults, it portrays something that is unfortunately lacking in cinema.
- 1:16:22Speaker 1: So but at least it was nominated for Best Picture,
- 1:16:26Speaker 1: so I hope more people see it. I remember giving
- 1:16:30Speaker 1: a talk at at Belmont University in Nashville and saying
- 1:16:34Speaker 1: that Past Lives was the best film that I had
- 1:16:37Speaker 1: seen that year, and then I said, who else, who
- 1:16:39Speaker 1: else has seen this? And then a white man, a
- 1:16:42Speaker 1: white you know, student, raised his hand and I said,
- 1:16:45Speaker 1: what did you think of the film? He's like, I
- 1:16:47Speaker 1: thought it was the best film of the year. And
- 1:16:49Speaker 1: I said, see, it's not just me an Asian woman
- 1:16:51Speaker 1: that makes this. This white this fine white gentleman also
- 1:16:55Speaker 1: believes the same. So I love that right that we
- 1:16:58Speaker 1: shared the same opinion about this movie because it spoke
- 1:17:02Speaker 1: to us, and maybe for him, he's like, I want
- 1:17:04Speaker 1: to see, you know, role models that I can relate to,
- 1:17:07Speaker 1: or men that cry because I cry, you know, whatever
- 1:17:09Speaker 1: it is that he related to, or maybe just good storytelling,
- 1:17:12Speaker 1: whatever it is, right, I think, Yeah, really great films
- 1:17:15Speaker 1: can speak to everyone across different different groups, and hopefully again.
- 1:17:20Speaker 1: Make our society, you know, better behaved and more supportive
- 1:17:23Speaker 1: of one another in a community.
- 1:17:25Speaker 3: We can only hope.
- 1:17:27Speaker 2: God, I mean this. I know we're wrapping up, but yeah,
- 1:17:30Speaker 2: you saying emotionally mature adults in a movie. I'm like, yeah,
- 1:17:34Speaker 2: that is another very rare thing, because there I mean,
- 1:17:36Speaker 2: I love messy characters. But yeah, so many movies are
- 1:17:40Speaker 2: adults behaving like children, and this is adult's mature adult
- 1:17:46Speaker 2: navigating messiness. Rare, a perfect movie. There you heard it.
- 1:17:52Speaker 2: Everyone gave Past Lives five nipples. It's a perfect movie.
- 1:17:55Speaker 2: If you haven't seen it, you have to. If you
- 1:17:59Speaker 2: have seen it, turn this off and go watch it again.
- 1:18:03Speaker 3: Yes, but before you do that, Nancy, thank you so
- 1:18:05Speaker 3: much for joining us for this wonderful discussion.
- 1:18:08Speaker 2: Yes, thank you so much.
- 1:18:09Speaker 3: Come back anytime. And where can people find your work
- 1:18:15Speaker 3: you're writing? Follow you on any social media, plug anything
- 1:18:19Speaker 3: you'd like to plug.
- 1:18:20Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that's such a funny question. Now that
- 1:18:22Speaker 1: social media has changed. I used to always say follow
- 1:18:26Speaker 1: me on Twitter, and now it's like social media talk
- 1:18:30Speaker 1: about some emotionally immature I feel like, behaving like children.
- 1:18:36Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:18:37Speaker 1: Yes, the people that actually are in charge of social media,
- 1:18:41Speaker 1: but you can find me on my website where you
- 1:18:44Speaker 1: can download this article, the article we talked about on LLE,
- 1:18:47Speaker 1: my interview with selling Song, as well as just links
- 1:18:50Speaker 1: to my books and reports and all sorts of stuff.
- 1:18:52Speaker 1: So it's Nancy whyutin dot com and I am Nancy
- 1:18:58Speaker 1: why you eat in one? That's my handle for wherever
- 1:19:02Speaker 1: you are so excellent. Oh, in my book Real Inequality. Sorry,
- 1:19:08Speaker 1: my book is Real Inequality Hollywood actors and racism. It's
- 1:19:12Speaker 1: about experiences, not just actors, but just Hollywood racism in general.
- 1:19:17Speaker 1: I'm actually in the process of updating it so perhaps
- 1:19:22Speaker 1: and hopefully for like a maybe a ten year follow
- 1:19:25Speaker 1: up that will be coming out. I'm also writing a
- 1:19:28Speaker 1: memoir based on the TV shows and films I watched
- 1:19:31Speaker 1: growing up, as well as the Asian American films. I
- 1:19:35Speaker 1: may be working past lives into my memoir actually, because
- 1:19:38Speaker 1: it really did speak so much to my own understanding
- 1:19:42Speaker 1: of immigration, and so many films like The Farewell and
- 1:19:46Speaker 1: Minari and now this film really speaking too maybe helping
- 1:19:51Speaker 1: me process my own immigration trauma so much. So just movies,
- 1:19:56Speaker 1: you know, can help you do that. In their best
- 1:19:58Speaker 1: they can be cathartic, they can be revelatory, So I
- 1:20:02Speaker 1: think that's that's what films about are truly doing the work.
- 1:20:05Speaker 1: And all the things that I listed all autobiographical.
- 1:20:08Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, and they all came out within the past
- 1:20:11Speaker 3: like three years, which is roughly indicative of a like
- 1:20:16Speaker 3: trend of there being far more stories like this and
- 1:20:20Speaker 3: stories about underrepresented people and communities. So thank you again
- 1:20:25Speaker 3: for joining us. I really appreciate it. Come back anytime,
- 1:20:28Speaker 3: bring any movie.
- 1:20:28Speaker 1: Thank you so much fun, so much fun. Well, I
- 1:20:31Speaker 1: will talk about everything everywhere all at once if you want to,
- 1:20:36Speaker 1: because there are so many similar things, right in terms
- 1:20:39Speaker 1: of you know, not a supportive male figures and yeah.
- 1:20:44Speaker 3: I know. And in the meantime, you can follow us
- 1:20:49Speaker 3: on mostly Instagram these days. At Bechdel Cast, you can
- 1:20:53Speaker 3: go to our Patreon aka Matreon. We have two bonus
- 1:20:57Speaker 3: episodes that come out every month there on a fun
- 1:21:01Speaker 3: little theme that we cook up and it's five dollars
- 1:21:04Speaker 3: a month, and that's at patreon dot com slash Bechdel Cast,
- 1:21:08Speaker 3: and our link tree is where you can find a
- 1:21:11Speaker 3: lot of other goodies that we have going on.
- 1:21:17Speaker 2: Yeah, and uh, with that, you can get our merch
- 1:21:20Speaker 2: at tipable dot com slash v Bechdel Cast and we
- 1:21:24Speaker 2: will be back, same time, same place next week. See
- 1:21:27Speaker 2: you then, see you then bye bye.
- 1:21:34Speaker 3: The Bechdel Cast is a production of iHeartMedia, hosted by
- 1:21:37Speaker 3: Caitlin Dorante and Jamie Loftis, produced by Sophie Lichterman, edited
- 1:21:41Speaker 3: by Mola Board. Our theme song was composed by Mike
- 1:21:45Speaker 3: Kaplan with vocals by Katherine Volskrosenski. Our logo and merch
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