Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #332 ADHD

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#332 ADHD · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:03
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
0:07
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers.
0:10
Speaker 2: Now it comes down to a central word that I
0:12
Speaker 2: think really sums up what ADHD is about, and that
0:15
Speaker 2: is inhibition. Kids who have got ADHD don't inhibit, they
0:20
Speaker 2: don't stop themselves.
0:21
Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
0:25
Speaker 1: and dad.
0:25
Speaker 2: Well, lockdowns are increasing around the country. We've got the
0:28
Speaker 2: Act Victoria and so much of New South Wales currently
0:31
Speaker 2: lockdown a huge portion of the population. And families continue
0:35
Speaker 2: to email me and jump onto Facebook and let us
0:39
Speaker 2: know that the weight is heavy. And when I say weight,
0:42
Speaker 2: I don't mean how long it is to wait for something.
0:45
Speaker 2: I'm in the burden of carrying a family through COVID lockdowns.
0:49
Speaker 2: We hope that our podcast helps you with the challenges
0:53
Speaker 2: that you're facing today. This is doctor Justin Coulson, the
0:57
Speaker 2: author of six books about making families happier, and I'm
1:00
Speaker 2: here with Kylie, mum to our six daughters. Kylie. We
1:05
Speaker 2: are going to do our best today to help parents
1:07
Speaker 2: of children who are not what we call neurotypical, that is,
1:10
Speaker 2: their brains have not developed the same way that the
1:12
Speaker 2: typical child does. We're going to talk about ADHD in
1:15
Speaker 2: the podcast today.
1:16
Speaker 3: So you've got a webinar on this topic tomorrow night.
1:19
Speaker 2: We've had more interest in this webinar than pretty much
1:22
Speaker 2: any that I've ever done before, which is a real surprise.
1:25
Speaker 2: I didn't think that there'd be that many people, but Wow,
1:29
Speaker 2: lots of interest in ADHD.
1:31
Speaker 4: So I'm going to admit I don't know a lot
1:32
Speaker 4: about this. I've heard the acronym thrown around all over
1:36
Speaker 4: the place, sure, but I don't know a huge amount
1:38
Speaker 4: about it. I know there's a tangent deficit issues in here,
1:41
Speaker 4: but I don't really understand it at all. So I'm
1:45
Speaker 4: going to play the dummy today. I'm going to ask
1:47
Speaker 4: you a whole heap of questions and find out.
1:50
Speaker 3: I'm going to learn something today.
1:51
Speaker 2: Sure, I reckon it's worth mentioning though, even if somebody
1:54
Speaker 2: has done a psychology degree, the amount of time and
1:58
Speaker 2: content that ADHD and most childhood psychological or neurological disorders
2:05
Speaker 2: is very very small, like barely gets touched at all.
2:08
Speaker 2: So even people that have done psych degrees don't know
2:10
Speaker 2: that much about it, let alone. You know, who knows
2:12
Speaker 2: more about ADHD than just about anyone parents of kids
2:15
Speaker 2: with ADHD, because they're living it every single day. But
2:18
Speaker 2: the average parent who looks at kids that have got
2:21
Speaker 2: ADHD and says, oh, for goodness sakes, what's going on
2:23
Speaker 2: over there? Most parents don't actually know that much about it. So, yeah,
2:27
Speaker 2: let's have a chat about it ahead of the webinar
2:29
Speaker 2: tomorrow night.
2:30
Speaker 3: So what does ADHD actually stand for?
2:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so glad you started there. So it used
2:36
Speaker 2: to be ADD, and before that we used to call
2:38
Speaker 2: it all sorts of other things, Like this thing has
2:40
Speaker 2: been around for a couple of centuries and it's been
2:43
Speaker 2: documented and had all kinds of different names. But what
2:46
Speaker 2: we grew up hearing about in maybe our late teens
2:51
Speaker 2: was this thing called attention deficit disorder ADD. Now since then,
2:56
Speaker 2: there's been more studies done, more improvements in the way
2:58
Speaker 2: that it's talked about and the way that it's considered
3:02
Speaker 2: from a psychological, neurological, behavioral perspective, and now it's called ADHD,
3:08
Speaker 2: which means so it's replaced ADD. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Now,
3:11
Speaker 2: I mean some people will still talk about how there
3:13
Speaker 2: are differences, and this is one of the challenging things.
3:16
Speaker 3: I know.
3:16
Speaker 2: We haven't even gotten to the definition yet. But one
3:17
Speaker 2: of the biggest issues with ADHD is I reckon it's
3:20
Speaker 2: probably one of the most provocative diagnoses out there, and
3:24
Speaker 2: everyone's got an opinion on it, and there's so many
3:26
Speaker 2: armchair experts, So let's just really get to it. It's
3:30
Speaker 2: attention deficit slash hyperactivity disorder attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and
3:39
Speaker 2: what it really is is a disorder. Now, I want
3:43
Speaker 2: to be really careful here. There's a couple of things
3:46
Speaker 2: that we need to highlight. Some people say that it's
3:48
Speaker 2: a psychological disorder, and I'm talking about in the research.
3:51
Speaker 2: Some people say that it's a neurological disorder. This matters
3:54
Speaker 2: because if it's neurological, what we're talking about is brain anatomy.
3:57
Speaker 2: That is, the brain is structured differently. This child is
3:59
Speaker 2: born with a different and therefore they're not going to
4:01
Speaker 2: develop typically from a neurological perspective. Therefore, if that's the case,
4:05
Speaker 2: you have an ADHD child. But there are some people
4:08
Speaker 2: who say, no, no, no, it's not so much neurological as
4:10
Speaker 2: is psychological, which reshapes the brain and changes the neurology.
4:14
Speaker 2: And know, I'm kind of geeking out here. But if
4:16
Speaker 2: that's the case, you say, you've got a child with ADHD,
4:19
Speaker 2: and the two sides will never meet, And nothing that
4:22
Speaker 2: I do or say in this podcast or even in
4:23
Speaker 2: the webinarch tomorrow night is going to satisfy the people
4:25
Speaker 2: who are on one side or another. What I am
4:27
Speaker 2: going to say is it's a disorder. I'm not going
4:30
Speaker 2: to get caught up in whether it's behavioral or neurological,
4:32
Speaker 2: or psychological or environmental or an epigenetic thing. From the
4:36
Speaker 2: point of view of a parent who's trying to raise
4:38
Speaker 2: kids with ADHD, we just need to know how to
4:40
Speaker 2: support the kids. And yes, sometimes if we get to
4:43
Speaker 2: the root of it, that might help, But for our conversation,
4:45
Speaker 2: I don't think it's helpful. It's a disorder that's marked
4:48
Speaker 2: by ongoing patterns of either inattention or hyperactivity and impulsivity,
4:57
Speaker 2: and that has to interfere with functioning and development.
5:00
Speaker 4: So a child with ADHD wouldn't have attention issues and hyperactivity.
5:07
Speaker 3: They're usually one or the other.
5:08
Speaker 2: No, And this is where it gets really really interesting.
5:11
Speaker 2: There are three types of ADHD. There's the predominantly inattentive type.
5:18
Speaker 2: There's the predominantly hyperactive and impulsive type, and then there's
5:22
Speaker 2: a combined type. But increasingly, and again this is even controversial.
5:26
Speaker 2: Increasingly kids are just being diagnosed with ADHD combined, and
5:31
Speaker 2: people are saying, you know what, sometimes they're inattentive, and
5:34
Speaker 2: sometimes they're hyperactive and over the top. They talk over
5:37
Speaker 2: the top. Sometimes I've been accused of having ADD as
5:40
Speaker 2: an adult or ADHD as an adult, because I butt
5:42
Speaker 2: in all the time and I've got so much energy
5:43
Speaker 2: and I'm easily distracted. Now I don't, and I'm not
5:46
Speaker 2: pretending that I do. But this is where it gets confusing,
5:48
Speaker 2: because a lot of people like, well, all kids are impulsive.
5:51
Speaker 4: Well it's interesting because I've had a couple of conversations
5:53
Speaker 4: with a few different teachers over the years who've all
5:56
Speaker 4: kind of acknowledged that we're kind of all got some
6:00
Speaker 4: of those tendencies.
6:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's kind of funny to joke
6:04
Speaker 2: about saying, oh, yeah, we're all a bit ADHD at times,
6:07
Speaker 2: But when you see a child who's genuinely got ADHD,
6:11
Speaker 2: you know that we're actually not all a bit ADHD.
6:14
Speaker 2: It is on a continuum, we all have some of
6:16
Speaker 2: that in us and so to all children. But we
6:19
Speaker 2: just can't say that we've all got ADHD.
6:23
Speaker 4: It's not you know what, really, I wasn't suggesting that that.
6:26
Speaker 4: I wasn't suggesting that at all, but just in acknowledgment
6:28
Speaker 4: that each of us has some of those tendencies. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
6:33
Speaker 4: in different areas of our lives.
6:34
Speaker 2: And you know what it really comes down to, Kylie.
6:36
Speaker 2: It comes down to a central wood that I think
6:38
Speaker 2: really sums up what ADHD is about, and that is inhibition.
6:44
Speaker 2: Kids who have got ADHD don't inhibit. They don't stop themselves.
6:50
Speaker 2: Like you say to a child with ADHD, go and
6:52
Speaker 2: get your shoes on so we can get into car
6:53
Speaker 2: and get to school. And if you're lucky, they'll say, okay, mom,
6:57
Speaker 2: that's if you're lucky, And then they'll sort of walk
6:58
Speaker 2: in the direction of where their shoes might be, but
7:01
Speaker 2: perhaps they'll take four steps and they'll get distracted by
7:03
Speaker 2: a spot on the wall or the lego table, or
7:08
Speaker 2: what's in the fridge or their sister or something, and
7:12
Speaker 2: ten minutes later, they're definitely not any closer to having
7:14
Speaker 2: their shoes on or getting in the car, but they've
7:17
Speaker 2: found fourteen other things to do.
7:19
Speaker 3: You've just described all six of our children.
7:21
Speaker 2: Right, And that's what a lot of people say, Well,
7:23
Speaker 2: that's just kids, but this is pervasive. This is something
7:26
Speaker 2: that doesn't just happen now and then it happens all
7:29
Speaker 2: the time in every kind of setting, and it happens
7:32
Speaker 2: at school, or it happens at home, and it's just this.
7:35
Speaker 2: What happens for parents is it starts to stress them
7:39
Speaker 2: out no end because they kind of feel like they
7:41
Speaker 2: have to completely micromanage the kids. They've got to be
7:43
Speaker 2: on top of them all the time. They have to
7:45
Speaker 2: literally step them through one thing at a time and
7:48
Speaker 2: monitor them and supervise them and walk beside them and
7:51
Speaker 2: say okay, now do this, Okay, now do that.
7:53
Speaker 4: So, based on everything that we know about children and
7:56
Speaker 4: those psychological needs, I can see that that way of
7:59
Speaker 4: managing and would probably exacerbate and challenge both parent and child.
8:06
Speaker 2: Right. So when we talk about psychological needs, for those
8:08
Speaker 2: of you who maybe missed the podcast where we talked
8:10
Speaker 2: about this, we all have three basic psychological needs. A
8:13
Speaker 2: need for relatedness or connection, a need for competence, a
8:18
Speaker 2: sense that we can master our environment, and a need
8:20
Speaker 2: for autonomy.
8:23
Speaker 4: So if I've got someone helicoptering me and managing my
8:26
Speaker 4: every move, Yes, then there's going to be some major challenges.
8:31
Speaker 2: It thwarts every one of those needs. I feel like
8:33
Speaker 2: you don't trust me in our relationships bad. I feel
8:35
Speaker 2: like you don't think I'm capable and competent, and I
8:37
Speaker 2: feel like you're going to control everything that I try
8:40
Speaker 2: to do. And here's the interesting thing when you look
8:42
Speaker 2: at what the research over the last several decades has
8:45
Speaker 2: showed about ADHD children, The focus on getting compliance from
8:50
Speaker 2: kids all comes down to things like time out and
8:53
Speaker 2: praise and reward charts and token systems and all that
8:57
Speaker 2: kind of thing. Fortunately, the research is starting to shift,
8:59
Speaker 2: but it's just awful. And that's why I'm going to
9:03
Speaker 2: do the webinar tomorrow night.
9:04
Speaker 4: So I'm wondering what's actually really going on for these kids?
9:09
Speaker 4: You know, you talk about there's two camps that some
9:11
Speaker 4: people think it's a brain development thing and some people
9:15
Speaker 4: think they're actually born that way. It's an anatomy challenge.
9:19
Speaker 4: Is this actually just because children have a lack of intelligence?
9:24
Speaker 4: Is it a parenting issue? Is it because of the
9:27
Speaker 4: foods that we're giving our children?
9:29
Speaker 3: Like, what's the answer.
9:30
Speaker 2: I'm going to answer every one of those things right
9:32
Speaker 2: after the break.
9:33
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast for.
9:36
Speaker 4: A happier family, Try a Happy Families membership, because a
9:40
Speaker 4: happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy families dot
9:44
Speaker 4: com dot Au. It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast
9:47
Speaker 4: for the time poor parent who just wants answers now
9:50
Speaker 4: and today we're having a little bit of a pro
9:52
Speaker 4: evocative conversation about ADHD. Provocative not because.
9:56
Speaker 2: You and I are being no it's just a provocative topic.
9:59
Speaker 2: People get really finn up about ADHD webinar tomorrow night.
10:02
Speaker 2: You can get all the details at happy families dot
10:04
Speaker 2: com dot Au just going to the shop and click
10:06
Speaker 2: on the ADHD webinar or on my Facebook page. All
10:09
Speaker 2: the info you need is scattered all over that page.
10:12
Speaker 2: You'll be able to just click on the link and
10:14
Speaker 2: sign up for tomorrow night's webinar about raising an ADHD child.
10:18
Speaker 4: So I acknowledged before the break that I don't know
10:21
Speaker 4: a whole lot about it at all, But I've heard
10:23
Speaker 4: lots of people who have had discussions about you know,
10:26
Speaker 4: this is all parenting, or this is because these kids
10:29
Speaker 4: just developmentally lacking intelligence, or that it's all about diet
10:35
Speaker 4: and the crazy diet some of these ADHD kids are
10:38
Speaker 4: being put through because it's about all of the additives
10:41
Speaker 4: that are going into our foods.
10:43
Speaker 2: Okay, let me put rest to every single one of those.
10:46
Speaker 2: First of all, research tells us pretty clearly that parenting
10:51
Speaker 2: can play a part in it. But I don't think
10:53
Speaker 2: that we can blame the parents for most of what's
10:55
Speaker 2: going on with ADHD. And the central reason that we
10:58
Speaker 2: can say that is because there are some parents who
10:59
Speaker 2: have like they've got twins and one of the kids
11:01
Speaker 2: doesn't happen, the other one does have it. They've been
11:03
Speaker 2: raised in exactly the same environment, or they've got siblings
11:05
Speaker 2: and a couple of kids do and a couple of
11:07
Speaker 2: the kids don't, and same environments, same parents, same strategy,
11:10
Speaker 2: same everything, and a couple of these kids like the
11:13
Speaker 2: ADHD child is often called the wild child. Not always
11:16
Speaker 2: fair and by the way girls show ADHD differently to boys.
11:20
Speaker 2: Won't go into that now, but there are significant differences
11:23
Speaker 2: between them. So it's not parenting per se, although sometimes
11:29
Speaker 2: parenting can be a risk factor, and this is controversial again,
11:32
Speaker 2: but the research shows that ADHD is more likely to
11:36
Speaker 2: occur in homes where there is a lack of resources.
11:39
Speaker 2: Maybe there's a parent who's absent all the time, maybe
11:42
Speaker 2: there's been some harm or some abuse, or some trauma.
11:45
Speaker 2: In fact, I was speaking to a psychologist about this
11:46
Speaker 2: just the other day and she said, so much ADHD
11:48
Speaker 2: in foster care circumstances is misdiagnosed because it's not actually ADHD.
11:54
Speaker 2: It's profound and deep trauma. And so we've got all
11:56
Speaker 2: these things playing into it. We know that socioeconomic status
11:59
Speaker 2: is linked with ADHD, but of course there's plenty of
12:02
Speaker 2: people who don't have much cash who have still got
12:04
Speaker 2: kids that are not being raised that way. So we've
12:06
Speaker 2: got to acknowledge that. Secondly, you mentioned intelligence. Some ADHD
12:10
Speaker 2: kids are literally the smartest kids in the class, and
12:12
Speaker 2: I can point to so many people who are extraordinary
12:15
Speaker 2: global success stories, Richard Branson, Jamie Oliver, Simone Biles, Michael Phelps.
12:22
Speaker 2: I could keep on going down the list, Emma Watson, etcetera, etcetera.
12:25
Speaker 2: All of these people are superstars in their fields and
12:28
Speaker 2: they've been diagnosed with ADHD. So we can't say that
12:30
Speaker 2: it's an intelligence thing either. It's not. There are some
12:33
Speaker 2: kids that have got ADHD who are very intelligent, some
12:36
Speaker 2: who obviously are lacking. Oh, by the way, and diet,
12:38
Speaker 2: we've got to rule that out straight away. Yes, it's
12:40
Speaker 2: important that you feed your kid's healthy stuff, but ADHD
12:43
Speaker 2: and diet don't seem to have any significant correlations that
12:46
Speaker 2: are worth talking about. And what those things do, what
12:49
Speaker 2: those myths do, is they perpetuate the idea that it's
12:52
Speaker 2: the parent's fault. And that's such an unhealthy and unkind
12:56
Speaker 2: and unfair thing to say, especially in light of the
12:58
Speaker 2: evidence that we've got. What we can say is that
13:01
Speaker 2: ADHD comes down to kids being able to regulate, having
13:04
Speaker 2: a sense of the future, and being able to plan
13:06
Speaker 2: for it. And they just don't inhibit. They want to
13:08
Speaker 2: do something now, and that's why they do it. That's
13:10
Speaker 2: why they've got no friends, because they always bud in,
13:12
Speaker 2: they always talk over, they always want to be heard,
13:14
Speaker 2: they always want to have the biggest say in things.
13:18
Speaker 2: That's why they struggle at school because they can't sit
13:20
Speaker 2: still long enough to listen to the teacher or to
13:22
Speaker 2: take notes or to do their writing. That's why they
13:26
Speaker 2: struggle in so many circumstances. And by the way, when
13:30
Speaker 2: they find something that they love. Something paradoxical happens when
13:33
Speaker 2: they feel really connected to something, they get so caught
13:36
Speaker 2: up in it, so swept up in flow that you
13:39
Speaker 2: can't pull them away. And the TV or their video
13:42
Speaker 2: games is a perfect example of that. They feel so
13:45
Speaker 2: safe there, they feel so comfortable there. It just works.
13:48
Speaker 2: I want to know quickly, yep, yeap.
13:51
Speaker 3: What does the world look like to a typical eighth child?
13:54
Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness, confusing and annoying and unfair. I mean,
13:58
Speaker 2: the typical ADHD child is kind of just going can
14:01
Speaker 2: you please let me be? They struggle with school. It's
14:05
Speaker 2: not that they're lacking intelligence. They're just struggling with school
14:08
Speaker 2: because they have that focus and inhibition problem. They struggle
14:11
Speaker 2: with friends, They struggle with family relationships, especially their siblings.
14:14
Speaker 2: Especially with the siblings with ADHD. They often struggle with
14:17
Speaker 2: their parents because ADHD is highly heritable a good percentage.
14:20
Speaker 2: Now it depends on which research you read again, but
14:22
Speaker 2: I'm going to say between fifty and seventy five percent,
14:24
Speaker 2: depending on the study. Of kids with ADHD have parents
14:28
Speaker 2: who have got it as well. So you imagine being
14:29
Speaker 2: an ADHD parent who struggles with inhibition and struggles with regulation,
14:33
Speaker 2: and struggles to think about the future, and struggles to
14:35
Speaker 2: stay focused and organized and attentive. And you've got a
14:38
Speaker 2: child who's doing all of this but like on steroids.
14:40
Speaker 2: Because they're kids. At least you've matured and grown through
14:43
Speaker 2: it somewhat. They struggle with big emotions, they struggle with
14:47
Speaker 2: big behaviors. They struggle more than anything with self esteem
14:51
Speaker 2: because they're constantly being told to stop it, be quiet,
14:53
Speaker 2: sit down, you're doing it wrong. That's not what we
14:55
Speaker 2: do here. Like, that's what life is like for an
14:57
Speaker 2: ADHD child and for a parent of an agile HD child.
15:01
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just it's so hard.
15:04
Speaker 4: So maybe you could give us a sneak peek on
15:07
Speaker 4: what parents will find in your webinar tomorrow night. Yeah,
15:11
Speaker 4: I know how they might manage.
15:13
Speaker 2: I don't even want to give a sneak peak. I
15:15
Speaker 2: want to give the whole webinar now because, like I
15:18
Speaker 2: say this all the time to people, I just want
15:20
Speaker 2: to help families. I know that we've got to pay
15:22
Speaker 2: our staff, and we've got to pay our mortgage, and
15:24
Speaker 2: there has to be a commercial aspect to what we do,
15:26
Speaker 2: but my motivation is to help people full stop end
15:31
Speaker 2: of story. Tomorrow night in the webinar, I'll go into
15:34
Speaker 2: this in a lot more depth. So I'm going to
15:36
Speaker 2: give you the basics stuff. Now, I've got like ten
15:39
Speaker 2: very quick basics, and i know we're out of time already,
15:41
Speaker 2: but I'm going to I'll do it really fast, and
15:43
Speaker 2: then tomorrow night in the webinar, for those who are interested,
15:46
Speaker 2: I'll go through the advanced stuff. Okay, so this is
15:50
Speaker 2: the basics. The advanced stuff can be tomorrow night. Number one,
15:52
Speaker 2: you've got to manage expectations. Understand your child's development. You've
15:55
Speaker 2: got to recognize what they're capable of, and remember that
15:57
Speaker 2: just because they're seven years old doesn't mean that because
15:59
Speaker 2: they're not neurotypical, so they can't do what the neurotypical
16:02
Speaker 2: kids can do. They might do it sometimes, but not
16:05
Speaker 2: all the time. You've got to remember that discipline means teach,
16:08
Speaker 2: and so much of ADHD discipline is all about conformity
16:13
Speaker 2: and about getting cranky at the kids and tokens and
16:15
Speaker 2: rewards and punishments and praise and time out and yes,
16:18
Speaker 2: you can have the gaming console. No you can't have
16:21
Speaker 2: the gaming it's just not fair.
16:22
Speaker 3: We see that in the classroom all the time.
16:25
Speaker 2: Third thing, got to keep it level. And when I
16:28
Speaker 2: say level, I mean we've got to be balanced as adults.
16:31
Speaker 2: We cannot parent from a place of fear or a
16:33
Speaker 2: place of anger or a place of frustration, because if
16:36
Speaker 2: we do that, we need to we need to parent
16:38
Speaker 2: ourselves before we compare it the kids. We've got to
16:40
Speaker 2: regulate so that we can help them to do it.
16:43
Speaker 2: Number four. When you want an ADHD child to do something,
16:46
Speaker 2: explain it in positive terms. So don't say stop it,
16:49
Speaker 2: cut it out, don't do that, say what you want
16:51
Speaker 2: to see. Instead, say the positive behavior you want to see.
16:54
Speaker 2: Don't tell them what not to do, because when you
16:55
Speaker 2: tell them what not to do, they've got to think
16:56
Speaker 2: about two things. Number one, how do I stop doing this?
16:58
Speaker 2: And number two what do I do? Instead? If you
17:00
Speaker 2: say here's what you should be doing, or let's go
17:03
Speaker 2: this way, or I'd like you to try this, they've
17:06
Speaker 2: already got everything that they need to just go there.
17:08
Speaker 2: Number five, give them transition warnings frequently. Number six, eat
17:14
Speaker 2: like ADHD kids because they get so caught up in
17:16
Speaker 2: the moment, because they forget to plan for the future,
17:18
Speaker 2: and because they're so here and now and they don't
17:20
Speaker 2: inhibit or regulate very well. Sometimes they forget to eat.
17:23
Speaker 2: And by the way, as a parent, make sure you
17:24
Speaker 2: do as well, because you'll be a better parent when
17:26
Speaker 2: you've got food in your belly. What are we up to?
17:28
Speaker 2: Like number seven? Thank you? Set up systems. ADHD kids
17:32
Speaker 2: thrive on routine and systems, as do children who are
17:36
Speaker 2: on the autism spectrum. I'm not suggesting that the same
17:38
Speaker 2: thing at all, but that's one thing in common. They
17:40
Speaker 2: do better when there's a system, when there's predictability, when
17:42
Speaker 2: they know what step A is and step B and
17:44
Speaker 2: step C the next one. They love to be active,
17:47
Speaker 2: get them moving, exercise and outside nature. I say it
17:50
Speaker 2: all the time, is fuel for the soul. What number
17:53
Speaker 2: are we up to? N Number nine? Avoid information overlied
17:55
Speaker 2: like I've just given you and number ten, So sorry,
18:00
Speaker 2: I've got to just highlight on avoid information overload. That
18:03
Speaker 2: means that when you ask them to do something, don't say, hey, kiddo,
18:05
Speaker 2: I need you to go and grab your school bag,
18:07
Speaker 2: pack your lunch, put your uniform one, brush your teeth,
18:09
Speaker 2: do your hair, tidy up your room, and then I'll
18:11
Speaker 2: meet your back out here. In fifteen minutes so we
18:12
Speaker 2: can get you to school way too much. Like I
18:15
Speaker 2: know some adults that couldn't cope with that, but a
18:17
Speaker 2: child with ADHD no way. Next one, they need friends,
18:21
Speaker 2: they just need friends so much. And my final one,
18:24
Speaker 2: I've forgotten what number we're up to.
18:25
Speaker 3: That was ten.
18:26
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, Well there's more. This is the last one
18:28
Speaker 2: I'm going to mention for now. Have a great relationship
18:31
Speaker 2: with your child's teacher. Communicate with them, Engage with them.
18:34
Speaker 2: The teachers want to help. And when they see that
18:37
Speaker 2: you're trying and that you're communicating with them, and you
18:40
Speaker 2: want to be engaged in your child's education and support
18:43
Speaker 2: the teacher to do their job as they support you,
18:46
Speaker 2: that will make a huge difference. I mean, there's so
18:48
Speaker 2: much more we could talk about, but we're so far
18:50
Speaker 2: over time, and we need to acknowledge that we've got
18:53
Speaker 2: a webinar tomorrow night to help out. We are running
18:56
Speaker 2: this webinar. I'm running the webinar tomorrow night with a
18:58
Speaker 2: whole lot more information that ends on what we've talked
19:00
Speaker 2: about now and some really advanced stuff for parents who
19:03
Speaker 2: are struggling with children who have this very very very
19:08
Speaker 2: challenging set of obstacles in their life to overcome how
19:12
Speaker 2: we can manage ADHD. That's tomorrow night. All the details
19:16
Speaker 2: on the Happy Families Facebook page and at happy families
19:18
Speaker 2: dot com dot you in the shop. Hey Kyli, thanks
19:21
Speaker 2: for asking the questions. You're welcome and we really appreciate.
19:24
Speaker 2: Justin raw On, our producer from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce
19:27
Speaker 2: is our executive producer. If you'd like Mari andfo about
19:30
Speaker 2: the stuff we talked about, you can find it all
19:31
Speaker 2: at happy families dot com dot au