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When a narcissist puts their hands on you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite self aware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock,
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  better known as Mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. Today's episode is going to be
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  about what happens when a narcissist puts their hands on
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  you. When narcissistic people talk to
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  people cross the line and they're putting their hands on
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  you and it goes from just emotional, emotional abuse to
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  when they transition to the physical dynamics, you know,
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  because a lot of times people see narcissistic abuse the word
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  the phrase narcissistic abuse, and they don't think that that's
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  it right there. They think people see
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  narcissistic abuse and they don't think there's a physical
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  aspect to it as well. They just think narcissistic
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  abuse is yelling, screaming, gaslighting, manipulation, just
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  wasting a lot of people's time and things like that.
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  Emotional, verbal abuse, those type of things.
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  A lot of people don't think it crosses the line into the
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  physical. And sometimes, and this is the
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  thing right here, that gets a lot of people.
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  Sometimes people, you know, don't.
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  How do I say this? Sometimes people in these
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  positions, like the the survivor or the victim of this toxic,
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  domestically abusive relationship dynamic, they don't
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  take. It's just I just don't want to
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  rub people the wrong way or say the wrong thing out.
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  So I'm just trying to be very, very careful with my work.
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  A lot of people see, a lot of people don't see it as abuse
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  until it crosses to the physical aspect of things.
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  That's what I say right there. A lot of people don't see it as
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  abusive until it crosses into the physical dynamic, until they
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  get their hands, somebody puts their hands on them or something
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  along those lines like that, 'cause I thought, there's so
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  many people that, you know, I've done one on ones over Zoom and
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  my coaching and whatnot. I thought there's so many people
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  in these positions that they wish they would have got hit and
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  then it blows my mind. There's like, well, I didn't
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  think it was abusive because I never got hit.
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  Like yelling and screaming and cussing and the lying and the
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  cheating and things like that. That right there, Yeah, it was
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  bad. But I never thought it was
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  abusive. You know, I didn't think it was
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  abuse until somebody hit me and that's why I put their hands on
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  me. So I just didn't think it was
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  that bad. So when people I asked, they
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  they said they would watch videos and hear stories of other
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  people getting beat up and getting their hands put on them.
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  And they was they would be like, well, my well, my relationship
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  isn't that bad because they, I didn't get hit.
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  Yeah. They don't have to hit you to
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  hurt you. They don't have to hit you.
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  They don't have to put their hands on you to hurt you.
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  They can yell and scream at you and do the the the act of
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  putting their hands on you to put to instill fear into you.
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  Because a lot of narcissistic people, this is what do Toxic,
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  narcissistic people have rage issues.
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  Yes, a lot of them have rage issues and whatnot and they
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  can't control their rage and they that's why that would hit
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  you. But there's a lot of, there's
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  some people out there, y'all some toxic abuse of people.
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  They put their hands on you because their words no longer
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  work because they feel like their words are not getting
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  their point across enough. So they and not instilling
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  enough fear and control over you.
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  So what they'll do is they'll they'll start, they'll sometimes
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  they start with little things y'all to cross that that that
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  physical threshold to cross that physical boundary.
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  They'll they'll they'll put, they'll poke you.
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  There's a poke you or something like that.
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  They'll start push. They'll push you, they'll nudge,
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  they'll bump you off the way with their shoulder.
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  They'll hit you know they'll get in your face like put their
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  forehead to your forehead. They'll start doing things like
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  that to cross their body. It's not.
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  It's not necessarily a punch or slap or backhand or they're not
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  slamming you or anything like that.
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  Not yet. But it escalates.
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  They start to elevate it because they feel like I'm going to do
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  this right here. Maybe that'll get my point
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  across. Pointing my finger at you in
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  your face this close to it, push you back on my finger, Maybe
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  that'll get my point across. Doing all this other mental,
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  doing all this other physical mental stuff to you.
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  Maybe that can get my point across.
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  Like they escalate because they feel like the first method isn't
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  working, you know? Now let's be let's be be
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  realistic. Do some of them lack control
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  issues and they hit you because their rage is so Incarnate and
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  flame, they get so flamed on that they want to hurt you?
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  Yeah, some of them absolutely do it like that.
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  But a lot of narcissistic people y'all get to that, get into that
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  point, get into that point and get into that perspective where
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  they, you know, they escalate to it because they feel like, OK, I
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  pushed you and it hasn't changed your behaviors, you know?
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  So I'm going to let me hit you. Sometimes they'll punch you,
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  yeah. A lot of times it's, you know,
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  they'll they'll punch you, they'll slam you, they'll
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  they'll start breaking your bones, they start hitting you
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  objects and stuff like that. There's another, another form of
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  it. Y'all they'll pick stuff up and
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  throw it at you. They'll throw things at you.
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  Do y'all. That's physical violence as
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  well. Picking, picking up an an
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  inanimate object and throwing it at you, launching it at you.
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  Picking up a a phone or throwing a a pillow.
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  It seems like something something simple like they
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  throw, they'll launch a pillow at you and it hits you in the
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  face and you'll start, you know, sometimes you get hit right in
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  the face in the right way. Tears just start welling up and
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  they'll try to make you sound like you're so sensitive because
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  they hit you with a pillow. I hit you with a pillow.
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  What you crying for? You know when their words stop
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  working, y'all they'll do that type of stuff.
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  So when they put their hands on you, they're trying to control
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  you. They're trying to instill that
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  fear in you. And yeah, and sometimes when
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  they put their hands on you, they will immediately play the
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  victim and they will, they will blame you for they will play the
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  victim and they will blame you for like you made me do this.
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  I've never done this to anybody before.
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  But you will come to find out if you do a lot of research on your
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  person, they probably aren't. Or not.
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  They probably, you probably are not the first person they put
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  their hands on. You know you probably not.
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  They might put their hands on their ex, their exes or their ex
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  partner, their ex-spouse, their kids, whoever they they put
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  their hands on other people before you know.
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  But you become the target because you are with them.
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  You are in the face of them, you see.
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  And this, this, this doesn't doesn't.
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  This just doesn't have to be an intimate partner.
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  It could be your parent as well. Y'all it could be a sibling, it
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  could be a friend, be someone like that, could be somebody a
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  Co worker or a boss. A boss comes and starts to like
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  nitpicky and push you and stuff like that.
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  When they cross that physical line, y'all it, it does get
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  worse because now, especially if they don't get in trouble now
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  they think it's allowed. Now they think this is the new
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  set of behaviors, this new set of behaviors are acceptable now.
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  They feel like they're going to keep doing this type of stuff.
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  They're going to keep doing this type of stuff because they they
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  benefit from it. They feel like they're they feel
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  like there's a benefit to keep doing this type of stuff to you
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  because now they feel like they're in control.
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  Now they feel like they are impact.
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  They have the power dynamic, you know, and that fear, that fear
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  instills you. And a lot of times, y'all when
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  you in this, when you, if they surprisingly hit you, put their
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  hands on you, you're shocked you you can't believe they did this.
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  You know, you can't believe they did this.
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  So sometimes you don't react the way that you would.
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  You normally thought you would react, you know, sometimes you
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  panic. Sometimes you might actually
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  take the blame for them putting their hands on you or something
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  along those lines. Y'all, it's not you.
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  That's not your fault. That's seriously, that is not
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  your fault. Y'all It isn't y'all and just
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  took a quick break. If y'all made this far, go ahead
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  the like and subscribe button. Y'all to know no notifications.
• 6:59
  Help the channel grow. I truly appreciate it.
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  Yeah, but yeah, it's just in that space they have to do.
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  They do that type of stuff. Y'all they will mentally,
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  physically abuse you, verbally abuse you.
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  They'll do all this types of stuff because they feel like
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  they're entitled to do this type of stuff.
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  They feel like it's part of their, it's part of their
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  dynamic, it's part of their life.
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  You know, they they feel like they need to do it.
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  They feel like this is part. They feel like they they feel
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  like you belong to them and you are a lesser being.
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  My, my wife takes me out on the main screen.
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  They they feel like you're a lesser being, and they are.
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  You are. They're entitled to do whatever
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  they need to do whatever they want to do, you know, because
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  they do that type of stuff. Y'all they they will keep.
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  They will continue to mess with you.
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  They put their hands on you. And it always, always, always
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  gets worse. Y'all.
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  Very rarely, very very rarely. Do you see the instance where
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  they put their hands on you and then they stop doing it.
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  Very rarely do they put their hands on you and then they stop
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  doing it. Believe they started crying when
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  they did it? Yeah.
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  If they start crying when they put their hands on you did.
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  Those tears are for themselves. They're not for you.
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  Those tears are for themselves because they know they cross the
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  line and they know what they risk to lose.
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  So they try to make you feel guilty by crying about what they
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  stand to lose by putting their hands on you.
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  You know, can you look, if you look at the thumbnail to this
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  video, y'all, there's an arrow pointing to the hand bin on the
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  shoulder. Because once it crosses that
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  threshold, y'all it doesn't go back.
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  It doesn't get better. And then I'll say this right
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  here too. If they put their hands around
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  your throat, they will unallow you.
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  I read a statistic recently and I've been tailor brought this to
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  my eye like raw motivations. He brought this to my
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  perspective that there's a / 7 like if they put their hands on
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  you they they choke you to trigger you.
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  There's a 700% chance seven you you you stand a 700% more chance
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  more likely chance of losing your life to this person.
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  Like if they put their hands on you put their hands on your
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  throat. I've I've somebody left a
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  comment the other day I meant to respond to it.
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  I think that's what inspired this video.
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  He said, well, he asked me to. He he he put his hands around my
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  throat and and squeezed until I passed out and then I walked.
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  When I woke up, he asked me. He told me he needed space
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  because I was making him go crazy.
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  He needed space because he was making you go crazy.
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  You see what I'm saying? Y'all.
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  They only have their best interest in mind.
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  When they put their hands on you, they have their best
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  interest in mind, not yours. Your best interests are not in
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  mind. When they are putting their
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  hands on you, when they're trying to end your life, when
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  they're trying to send you on about here, when they're trying
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  to do all this other stuff, they are trying to end you.
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  They are. They look at you as less, as
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  less than. When their words do not work,
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  they they started using their body.
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  They started using their physicality.
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  Yeah, this is not just one, This is not a gendered topic, y'all,
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  because I know it goes it, it can go both ways, but we know it
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  goes more one way than it goes the other, you know?
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  But I talked to a guy the other day, literally.
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  I do one on ones with men, too. I talked to a lot of men.
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  I talked to a guy the other day, woman, his ex jumped on him,
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  like literally started beating on him and trying to slab him.
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  He had a red eye. She dropped.
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  She tried to put her hands around his throat and was just
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  losing, losing her mind, you know, he pushed it off, ran off,
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  called the police, and that just got settled in court.
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  And she, I think she pretty much got off for doing that.
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  You know, she got off for doing that.
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  Oh, he made me do that. He said this.
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  What He said, he said this and he made me do that.
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  This is it's not good there. Y'all, but I just want people to
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  be safe. That's why you never seen me
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  make a video like this before. But I felt, I felt, I just
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  really, really felt like inclined to do this because I
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  know how much you know. I know it is.
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  It's tough to deal with because when they put their hands on
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  you, y'all, it's not your fault. I promise you.
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  Hitting hitting you does not solve anything.
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  Putting their hands on you does not solve anything.
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  If you have a reactive abuse incident, that does not solve
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  anything by putting your hands on them.
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  I know, yeah, I know, it's different.
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  But these spaces like and if they put their hands in, y'all
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  I'm telling you right now, it will absolutely get worse
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  because then this, This is why it gets worse, because now they
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  know what they can get away with, now they know what they
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  can get away with, and when they put their hands on y'all, the
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  chances are more likely that they're going to leave you.
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  This is my notice as well, talking to so many people that
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  every time somebody said, oh, they hit me, they they put their
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  hands on me, I forgave them. They always, almost always end
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  up leaving you for somebody else because they don't trust you to
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  not call the police anymore. And then this is what happens.
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  Y'all this is what happens to a lot of people.
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  You regret not calling the police on that person because
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  now, now you feel like they got away with it.
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  So now when they've left the relationship left you for
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  somebody else. Now you come out and tell you a
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  story. People don't believe you because
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  it looks like unless you have evidence, people don't believe
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  you because now it looks like, oh this person is being bitter.
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  You know, I know calling the police isn't easy because you
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  feel like you don't want to ruin that person's life, but you are
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  not ruining that person's life, Y'all they are ruining their own
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  lives by putting their hands on you.
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  You know what I'm saying? But always use discretion.
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  Be discreet. Protect yourself if you feel
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  like if you feel like you're in danger, you can't call the
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  police. Have a friend that you can send
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  a a coded text message to not even 911.
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  You can send like 6847 a number and they know to call the police
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  and it's don't you know they know to call the police and
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  what's going on just to protect yourself because that way if you
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  can safely do that. Oops, I accidentally dialed this
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  number. Who?
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  You Who the hell you texting? Oh, I just dialed a number I
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  pocketed out. You see, you have to be as safe
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  as possible because they will send you on about it here and
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  survival like that. You you want to survive this
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  with your life. Surviving the type of
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  narcissistic abuse. When they start putting their
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  hands on you, it is a whole different ball game because you
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  have the not only do you have the emotional abusive side of
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  you also have crossed into the physical abusive side of it as
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  well. And that can be just y'all.
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  It's a traumatizing experience to deal with.
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  So I hope I I just want people to heal.
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  I want people to grow. I want people to live this, this
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  safer life as possible because I'm rooting for y'all that's
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  just me, y'all I'm. I'm rooting for you.
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  I want y'all to live good lives, you know?
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  Seriously. And if y'all, if y'all have kids
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  that you're raising in abusing situations that are around
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  abuse, I wrote, we wrote a kids book called Recall.
• 13:11
  Remember, it's not your fault. This is available on Amazon to
• 13:13
  help you know, to help in this situation, to to to have those
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  conversations with your kids about physical abuse, mental
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  abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse and things of that nature.
• 13:24
  Remember, it's not your fault, it's on Amazon.
• 13:26
  Y'all, be safe and let me know you think about the the new
• 13:30
  thumbnails. I'm using new thumbnails as
• 13:31
  well. So be like and comment like,
• 13:34
  subscribe. Y'all.
• 13:34
  I appreciate every single one of y'all this is out peace.
• 13:38
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 13:40
  Y'all. If you didn't know, we wrote a
• 13:41
  kids book called Remember It's not your fault.
• 13:44
  To help kids understand that they are not in control of
• 13:47
  whatever circumstances they were born into.
• 13:49
  Talk about boundaries, telling the truth, all of that stuff.
• 13:52
  Y'all. It's available on Amazon right
• 13:54
  now or the link in my description of every single
• 13:56
  video or podcast that you listen to.
• 13:58
  Thank you so much. Remember, it's not your fault.
• 14:00
  Peace.