Latest / Relationship Talk Thursday / Being Thankful For Your Spouse

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Being Thankful For Your Spouse · Relationship Talk Thursday

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I have heard men tell me in confidentiality, in private,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: the good ones. Right, it's so easy to talk about
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the guys that ain't good, that ain't doing that, that
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: ain't he don't do this, he don't do that. But
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the good ones that go to work, that pay the bills,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: that lead their family, that step in the gap, that's
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: just doing what they're supposed to do. That they feel
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: taken for granted or unseen or unappreciated by their spouse
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: because they've taken on the responsibility not to be asked,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: but to do what it is that they believe that
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: they should be doing as a good man and as
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: a good husband. So they've confided in me in that sense.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: And then on the other side, ladies who are going,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: you know, being at home or going to work and
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: coming home and taking care of the kids and the
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: food and the house and all the things, because that
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: is the expectation of their role in their relationship, they
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: don't hear a thank you. They don't hear we appreciate it.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: They don't hear you know, you know, I really, you know,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: thanks for doing that little attention to detail or whatever
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: it is. Because we can get so caught up in
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  Speaker 1: just doing what we think that we're supposed to be doing.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: That people forget to say thank you.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Relationship Talk Thursday continues. It's Thursday. It's that time again.
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  Speaker 3: I'm sewing up Lakey with pastors Damon and Erica Glenn.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: Just in case people are listening for the first time,
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  Speaker 3: how would you introduce yourselves? Who would you say that
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: you all are as a power couple.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: We heard that we are Glenns. Yeah, we are the Glenn's.
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: We're a Glen nation and a generational generational breaker.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Okay for marriage, that's.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Good, baby. We are not perfect, but we live on purpose.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: And we have learned a lot both through our own
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: experiences and through our teachers and through people that we've taught,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: and we try to share this pool of knowledge and
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: information so people have successful life in leadership and relationship.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: It's good.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: And now y'all, twenty years in when you can talk
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  Speaker 3: about almost anything, including appreciation, and it's so good. Intentional affection, affirmation,
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: and presence. You know, I've been married for thirty years. Hey,
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  Speaker 3: oh but.
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  Speaker 1: Congratulations.
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  Speaker 3: You know, you know sometimes you think you know when
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: you're a marriage, like you know, that's what you're supposed
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: to do right your responsibility, but you're saying sometimes that
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: may not be the case. And men, especially you said
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: phil unappreciated.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Everybody wants to be known and needed. Okay, everybody wants
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: to be known and needed, and people want to be
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: appreciated and never taken for granted. Ladies and gentlemen both do.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: And appreciation and attention goes so far. It just goes
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: so far. It's a way of showing affection. It's low, low, easy,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: low level, low hanging fruit, easy affection. It's easy intimacy,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: it's simples. It goes so far. And especially depending on
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: the language of love that the spouse that you're married to,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: if it's word of affirmation is one of their main ones,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: it goes so far. It does so much. It makes
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: somebody feel you know, seen, heard, understood, and nobody I
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: have heard men tell me in confidentiality in private. The
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: good ones, right, it's so easy to talk about the
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: guys that ain't good, that ain't doing that, that he
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: don't do this, he don't do that. But the good
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: ones that go to work, that pay the bills, that
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: lead their family, that step in the gap, that's just
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: doing what they're supposed to do that they feel taken
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: for granted or unseen or unappreciated by their spouse because
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: they've taken on the responsibility not to be asked, but
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: to do what it is that they believe that they
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: should be doing as a good man and as a
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: good husband. So they've confided in me in that sense.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: And then on the other side, ladies who are going,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: you know, being at home or going to work and
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: coming home and taking care of the kids and the
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: food and the house and all the things, because that
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: is the expectation of their role in their relationship, they
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: don't hear a thank you. They don't hear we appreciate it.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: They don't hear you know, you know, I really, you know,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: thanks for doing that little attention to detail or whatever
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: it is. Because we can get so caught up in
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: just doing what we think that we're supposed to be
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: doing that people forget to say thank you. And it's
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: just a human problem. It's something you have to teach children.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: It's something God himself say, Hey, where the other what
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  Speaker 1: the other nine people? Only one person came back to
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  Speaker 1: say thank you? All ten of y'all got the same thing.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: One person only came back to say thank you, because
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  Speaker 1: we just can take for granted that God is good
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: just forget to say thank you.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: What we do as women, we do a lot.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: I tell husbands all the time that you know, they're like,
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: I just ask my wife for just one thing, and
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  Speaker 4: I'm like, you don't know the hidden labor that she
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: has done, the mind labor that she's done for you.
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  Speaker 2: You know, you may not have asked for it.
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  Speaker 4: But she you know, she put the cup that you
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  Speaker 4: reached for and didn't ask for, you know, like those
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  Speaker 4: kind of things. And so I think, you know, women
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  Speaker 4: sometimes just kind of grow up with the fact that
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  Speaker 4: it's an appreciate, unappreciated, unappreciated space and place. But just
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  Speaker 4: to kind of piggyback on what my husband was saying,
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: you know, talking about the men feeling that they're not appreciated,
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: I think sometimes that the people that are supposed to
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  Speaker 4: appreciate them probably came from a place that they were
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: not shown appreciation to the person. So like if a
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  Speaker 4: woman is raised without a father and she has a husband,
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  Speaker 4: she doesn't really know how to appreciate a man because
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  Speaker 4: she has never had to step into their spaces, So
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: sometimes you know, yeah, she hadn't seen it.
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  Speaker 2: She desires it, she prays for it.
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  Speaker 4: That's what she wants in a husband, that's what she
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  Speaker 4: asks God for, But she doesn't realize that in order
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  Speaker 4: to continue that appreciation, she has to nourish that. So
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  Speaker 4: some of that is just out of ignorance and not intentional.
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  Speaker 4: But I think that when you are the person that
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  Speaker 4: feel when you feel unappreciated in your relationship, you should
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  Speaker 4: say that, you should say something about that.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: And it's because nine times out of.
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  Speaker 1: Ten, I don't want to say nothing because then I
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  Speaker 1: don't feel like it's genuine.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it doesn't even matter. It's just to me.
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  Speaker 4: It's another space and place where your spouse does not
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  Speaker 4: feel heard, and they have to feel heard.
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  Speaker 2: Even when it is not conventional.
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  Speaker 4: So I think the first thing is just making sure
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  Speaker 4: that when you feel unappreciated that you tell them.
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  Speaker 2: I tell my kids.
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  Speaker 4: I let them if I cleaned up the house and
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  Speaker 4: I found all kinds of stuff in your room and
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: I have to I'm tired. Now everybody has sit at
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: ktch your table. I just want y'all to know what
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  Speaker 4: I did today because I need you to understand that
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  Speaker 4: you I did not feel appreciated, and I'm not gonna
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  Speaker 4: walk around with that as your mother. I need you
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  Speaker 4: to understand that you made me feel that way, and
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  Speaker 4: I need you to take responsibility for that because this
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  Speaker 4: is also a place for you to learn how to
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  Speaker 4: appreciate people. So it is very important in your relationship
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: to make sure that you honor on Father's Day, you
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  Speaker 4: honor on Mother's Day, you honor on their birthdays.
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  Speaker 2: You teach your chio.
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  Speaker 4: I see you, I teach my children it's Father's Day.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: What are y'all doing well? Such and such and such?
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  Speaker 4: That ain't my daddy My daddy live in Georgia, that
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  Speaker 4: your daddy live in Chicago. You better figure out what
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  Speaker 4: you're supposed to do. And those are those are opportunities
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  Speaker 4: for you to make sure that your spouse feels appreciated,
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  Speaker 4: not just only by you, but also the people that
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: they're serving in this household.
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  Speaker 1: I think people feel like it's less genuine if I
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  Speaker 1: have to ask for it.
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  Speaker 2: Tell you, that's the only way you're gonna learnt.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, do us feel like that at first? But
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  Speaker 1: so what Yeah, I wish you would, I wish I
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  Speaker 1: shouldn't have to tell you, thank you, Yes, you do
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  Speaker 1: tell tell I have to tell you. I have to
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  Speaker 1: teach you, I have to train you. I have to
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  Speaker 1: tell you what appreciation and affection looks like for me.
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  Speaker 1: And it might feel less genuine at first, but keep
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  Speaker 1: on doing reinerrating what you need, advocating for yourself so
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: that you can get what you need.
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  Speaker 3: Great topic today from the Power Couple Pastors Demon and
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: Erica Glenn, who served faithfully as pastors. They're at New
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  Speaker 3: Life with Pastor Hannah. Also they have books, they have
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  Speaker 3: a podcast, and know that you can also listen back
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  Speaker 3: to the conversations we have here on this version thirteen
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  Speaker 3: ninety on the iHeartRadio app Visit podcast. Also on inspirationon
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: thirteen ninety dot com. You can see Relationship Talk Thursday,
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: just in case you miss any of the show. They
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: are truly anointed to talk to couples. They coach couples,
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  Speaker 3: and they just do what God has called them to
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  Speaker 3: do to their purpose, their vision, and their mission. Thank
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  Speaker 3: you so much, Pastor Jamone and Erica Glenn. There's