Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 070: My Realistic Wellness Routine: How I Manage Pain, Energy, and a Full Life
Transcript
- 0:32SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the Wellness Reset Thursday episode.
- 0:36SPEAKER_00: I am Frederica Davis, creator of the Limitless Reset method.
- 0:41SPEAKER_00: And every Thursday we get to talk about realistic ways to support your body, restore your energy, and create wellness that works in your actual life.
- 0:51SPEAKER_00: So welcome back to Limitless Living.
- 0:53SPEAKER_00: I am continuing today our QA style conversation that we started out with on Tuesday.
- 1:01SPEAKER_00: And we'll do this every so often as questions come in.
- 1:05SPEAKER_00: And so today, the first question is going to be one I definitely get asked pretty frequently.
- 1:12SPEAKER_00: And that is okay, Freddie, seriously, you spend so much time helping other people feel good and inspiring and motivating and all those different things.
- 1:23SPEAKER_00: But what do you actually do to take care of yourself?
- 1:26SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's a really good question because I do spend a lot of time helping others uh feel better, whether you're coming into Massage Wants and Beyond, or whether it's me helping an entrepreneur run her business or working with clients, teaching, coaching, recording this podcast three times a week.
- 1:46SPEAKER_00: And doing all those things for everyone else and my family as well, and having a full life, it is a lot.
- 1:54SPEAKER_00: You're right.
- 1:55SPEAKER_00: And so what do I do for myself?
- 1:58SPEAKER_00: First and foremost, I really make an effort to keep my head on straight.
- 2:05SPEAKER_00: Now, here's what I mean by that: my mindset and my self-talk are very important.
- 2:11SPEAKER_00: They set the tone for what follows thereafter.
- 2:15SPEAKER_00: And I don't necessarily mean that I live in a world where I repeat positive affirmations all day.
- 2:21SPEAKER_00: That's not really what goes on.
- 2:23SPEAKER_00: Sometimes an affirmation is so far away from what you're actually experiencing that your brain just doesn't believe a word of it.
- 2:30SPEAKER_00: In my experience, positive affirmations are not enough.
- 2:33SPEAKER_00: They can be helpful, they can be powerful, but they're not enough.
- 2:36SPEAKER_00: So it's not about that.
- 2:38SPEAKER_00: So seriously, if you are listening to this and you've tried positive affirmations and not experienced the big mind-blowing shifts that you were hoping for, you can probably relate.
- 2:50SPEAKER_00: Because honestly, if you're sitting there and the kids want this, this one's screaming, you just broke the dish, you don't have enough money in the bank for the bills, you've got to get to work, you're going to be late, you're afraid of this.
- 3:03SPEAKER_00: This is happening, that's happening all around you, and the world feels like it's out of control in that moment.
- 3:09SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden, you start trying to correct that and feel better by forcing yourself to say a positive affirmation, such as, my life is peaceful, effortless, and completely under control.
- 3:22SPEAKER_00: Chances are it's not gonna work.
- 3:26SPEAKER_00: And I'm laughing because listen, I've tried this.
- 3:28SPEAKER_00: There's lots of people who teach that this, this is the way to go.
- 3:31SPEAKER_00: And I do believe that affirmations can be powerful.
- 3:34SPEAKER_00: However, your brain's probably at that point going to say, the hell is wrong with you?
- 3:39SPEAKER_00: No, it isn't.
- 3:40SPEAKER_00: Who are you kidding?
- 3:41SPEAKER_00: So for me, I pay attention to the way I'm speaking to myself.
- 3:48SPEAKER_00: This is especially important when I am in a moment where I'm becoming frustrated or starting to get a little hard on myself and beat myself up.
- 3:58SPEAKER_00: After all, ladies, aren't we all our own worst enemies sometimes, right?
- 4:03SPEAKER_00: So instead of trying to convince myself when I'm keeping my head on straight, as I put it, that everything is wonderful, I change and reframe this into language that actually is going to be more believable.
- 4:19SPEAKER_00: And I might say something like, okay, this is really hard.
- 4:23SPEAKER_00: This is difficult.
- 4:24SPEAKER_00: I don't know how I'm gonna solve this, but I probably don't have to solve all of it today.
- 4:31SPEAKER_00: So let me begin solving one thing.
- 4:33SPEAKER_00: I can solve one thing.
- 4:35SPEAKER_00: That's how I will process that and turn it into a positive statement.
- 4:39SPEAKER_00: Or, okay, I've been through something hard like this before.
- 4:44SPEAKER_00: I can figure this out.
- 4:45SPEAKER_00: What needs my attention first?
- 4:48SPEAKER_00: You're turning this into something that's a little bit proactive and it's positive, but it's believable.
- 4:53SPEAKER_00: Do you see the difference?
- 4:54SPEAKER_00: Even something as simple as I don't like how I feel today, not at all, not one bit.
- 4:59SPEAKER_00: But I do know I won't always feel this way.
- 5:03SPEAKER_00: Even something simple like that can help interrupt the downward spiral.
- 5:08SPEAKER_00: And it's more believable to your mind.
- 5:12SPEAKER_00: And my mindset, your mindset, it affects everything else.
- 5:17SPEAKER_00: It affects whether or not I will move my body.
- 5:22SPEAKER_00: It affects whether or not I will nourish myself because it affects how capable and able I will be to make the right choices.
- 5:30SPEAKER_00: Uh, it affects my rest.
- 5:33SPEAKER_00: It affects my ability to ask for help or decide that nothing's going to make a difference anyway, to take a breath, pause, and maybe release some of the control.
- 5:42SPEAKER_00: So, mindset is really, really important.
- 5:45SPEAKER_00: And yes, there's moments to psych yourself up for certain things, absolutely.
- 5:50SPEAKER_00: But learning how to talk to yourself, learning how to reframe things and redirect yourself, really, really crucial part of how I take care of myself.
- 5:58SPEAKER_00: Now, another big part of how I take my care of myself is going to be sleep.
- 6:03SPEAKER_00: And I have a tendency to push hard.
- 6:08SPEAKER_00: And historically, when I push too hard for too long, I allow myself to become run down.
- 6:15SPEAKER_00: And I will feel it through my entire body.
- 6:17SPEAKER_00: My pain, my inflammation will increase, my energy will change, I won't think as clearly.
- 6:23SPEAKER_00: I'll brain fog and I'll have much less patience.
- 6:26SPEAKER_00: You'll see it right on my skin right away with my psoriasis and my psoriatic arthritis.
- 6:30SPEAKER_00: We'll feel it in my joints, and it just really does have an impact.
- 6:34SPEAKER_00: So that doesn't mean I don't have moments when I push.
- 6:38SPEAKER_00: I still have moments, days, periods when I push hard for something I'm working hard on.
- 6:44SPEAKER_00: I still have periods when I have to push, when I choose to push, such as weeks when I'm finishing a project or preparing for a big event, like a retreat or things happen, the water heater breaks, whatever.
- 6:55SPEAKER_00: There are times when you have to push yourself.
- 6:57SPEAKER_00: The difference now, though, is that I recognize that I am borrowing from my energy by doing that.
- 7:06SPEAKER_00: So if I do that for a day or two, I need to put something back that I borrowed.
- 7:13SPEAKER_00: That may mean that I protect part of the next day and allow myself to sleep later.
- 7:21SPEAKER_00: I allow myself to start slower in the day and I lower the intensity for that next day.
- 7:26SPEAKER_00: And I give myself a few hours when I'm not giving to others and when nobody needs anything from me.
- 7:35SPEAKER_00: That is what I do.
- 7:37SPEAKER_00: So I really protect my energy, I protect my sleep, I protect my wrist.
- 7:42SPEAKER_00: So I live with psoriatic arthritis and other inflammatory and autoimmune conditions.
- 7:48SPEAKER_00: And I'm not currently using immunosuppressants or steroids, which is my own personal healthcare decision.
- 7:56SPEAKER_00: Most people having what I have going on would probably be on medication.
- 8:04SPEAKER_00: I have chosen to avoid this as long as I humanly can.
- 8:08SPEAKER_00: Medication, I know, can be extremely important, but this is simply the approach that I have chosen.
- 8:14SPEAKER_00: And while it's not the approach professionals involved with my care would recommend based on our Western medicine, in order for me to not wind up on the medications, I need to pay close attention to the things that affect how I feel.
- 8:31SPEAKER_00: So when people ask me, how do you take care of yourself with all the other caretaking you do and whatnot, such as we started with, I have to really pay attention to how I feel and all the things that affect how I feel.
- 8:46SPEAKER_00: The next thing that I do for myself, it's movement.
- 8:49SPEAKER_00: The way I move today, though, is very different from how I exercised when I was younger.
- 8:55SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to do the big step classes and the powerlifting and the kickboxing and the boot camps and the pounding on the pavement running the way that I used to.
- 9:04SPEAKER_00: And instead, I focus more on strength, walking, stretching, mobility, and movement that works with my body instead of constant pushing and breaking down my body to build it up.
- 9:20SPEAKER_00: I have to walk a fine line of how much I can push and repair, push and repair.
- 9:27SPEAKER_00: So that requires a lot of listening to my body.
- 9:30SPEAKER_00: So that's part of my self-care in a big fat way.
- 9:33SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to tell you too, so it doesn't sound complicated.
- 9:37SPEAKER_00: I do not do my strength training in a gym anymore.
- 9:42SPEAKER_00: Those days are gone.
- 9:43SPEAKER_00: I just don't want to.
- 9:44SPEAKER_00: I that's just the way it is.
- 9:46SPEAKER_00: What I developed from all my personal training background, I call it the kitchen counter routine that I do most days of the week.
- 9:53SPEAKER_00: And I use the counter for support.
- 9:55SPEAKER_00: I work with simple movements.
- 9:56SPEAKER_00: I use my body weight as resistance.
- 9:58SPEAKER_00: I do these while I'm in the kitchen waiting for coffee or preparing my food.
- 10:02SPEAKER_00: I also have isometric exercises I do, one of which I do while I'm driving to work and while I'm driving home from work.
- 10:08SPEAKER_00: So I work things in throughout my day.
- 10:10SPEAKER_00: I do free weights for the strength side of things, but they're simple.
- 10:14SPEAKER_00: They push enough to make a difference.
- 10:17SPEAKER_00: They work with my body, but they don't hurt my body.
- 10:21SPEAKER_00: They don't create more stress to my nervous system.
- 10:23SPEAKER_00: I really work on creating just enough push to gain ground, to keep moving forward, but not so much that I'm stressing or straining my nervous system and the rest of me, because that's how I keep the inflammation, the pain in check.
- 10:39SPEAKER_00: And here's what I've learned with my clients as well as myself, especially when we are in this age range, say 40, 50, and beyond.
- 10:50SPEAKER_00: The harder we push, sometimes, and don't get me wrong, there is a time to push hard.
- 10:53SPEAKER_00: There's a time to lift heavy.
- 10:55SPEAKER_00: I'm not against any of that kind of stuff.
- 10:58SPEAKER_00: That said, I would rather create a routine that fits into my life.
- 11:03SPEAKER_00: This was a key differentiator in getting things to click, move forward, and not lose ground and hurt myself repeatedly and give up and not keep up with it.
- 11:15SPEAKER_00: So I created a routine that fits into my life, attaches itself to certain things that it already did, so that it's designed for the life I'm already living, and it's not this big giant overhaul.
- 11:32SPEAKER_00: By doing that, I've been able to gain muscle mass, gain endurance, gain better numbers in my blood work, uh, reduce my inflammation, reduce my pain, increase my mobility.
- 11:47SPEAKER_00: So those are the things I do.
- 11:48SPEAKER_00: And all I can tell you is that personally, and what I've seen with the clients that I've taught this to, is that when you create a routine that just fits in your life, instead of creating a life that has to fit around these routines to get you healthy, you're much more likely to keep doing it.
- 12:04SPEAKER_00: So I also try to make sure that I'm outside.
- 12:07SPEAKER_00: I always listen to how my body feels.
- 12:09SPEAKER_00: And I know that sometimes all I need is a little movement, fresh air, natural light, a change of scenery.
- 12:15SPEAKER_00: Clears my head and gets my body moving.
- 12:18SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I want a longer walk and I want to push a little bit harder and do the hills and do a little bit longer.
- 12:24SPEAKER_00: I know I'm giving a lot of things that I do for myself.
- 12:27SPEAKER_00: Nutrition's another thing.
- 12:28SPEAKER_00: It's a really significant piece for me.
- 12:30SPEAKER_00: I do not follow a rigid diet.
- 12:32SPEAKER_00: I do what I teach and I have favorite foods and reliable meals so that I have favorite healthy go-tos for those moments where I'm not feeling overly motivated or I don't have enough time.
- 12:43SPEAKER_00: My main focus is giving my body the nourishment it needs first in the day.
- 12:49SPEAKER_00: And that includes protein, fiber, healthy fats, vegetables, fruits, and just a variety of color and nutrients.
- 12:58SPEAKER_00: So instead of thinking about what it can and cannot have all day long, I think to myself, okay, what am I going to gift to my body?
- 13:07SPEAKER_00: What does my body need?
- 13:08SPEAKER_00: I'm going to give it that with each meal first, and then whatever happens after that happens.
- 13:14SPEAKER_00: That feels very different to me and has for my clients than constantly asking, what do I have to take away?
- 13:22SPEAKER_00: What's good, what's bad?
- 13:23SPEAKER_00: It's a very different way of looking at things.
- 13:26SPEAKER_00: And when I nourish myself well, I am more satisfied.
- 13:31SPEAKER_00: My energy is steadier.
- 13:33SPEAKER_00: And then other food decisions become a whole lot easier and less impactful.
- 13:38SPEAKER_00: Now, do I still eat ice cream?
- 13:41SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
- 13:42SPEAKER_00: I go out to dinner, I enjoy food, I enjoy my life.
- 13:47SPEAKER_00: And then I have a few other things that I do because of my autoimmune and inflammatory issues.
- 13:55SPEAKER_00: I also use full body red light.
- 13:59SPEAKER_00: I do this pretty consistently every week in my office, along with other supportive things like infrared sauna and lymphatic massage.
- 14:09SPEAKER_00: I have kind of a rhythm with my red light and my sauna each week and each month, once or twice the massage.
- 14:17SPEAKER_00: Now, I know this all sounds like I'm going through like an enormous number of things every day.
- 14:21SPEAKER_00: This is a long list I've given you.
- 14:23SPEAKER_00: Each one of these practices that I have shared in what I do to take care of myself, they really are just woven into my everyday life at this point.
- 14:33SPEAKER_00: And I did not start out doing all of them at once.
- 14:37SPEAKER_00: If you try to do that, you you are likely setting yourself up for it not to stick very long and for failure.
- 14:44SPEAKER_00: I started out literally when I was at my worst with just a 10-minute walk.
- 14:50SPEAKER_00: And that was it, making myself do that five out of the seven days a week.
- 14:53SPEAKER_00: That was literally where I started, making sure I was hydrated and getting 10 minutes of a walk.
- 14:58SPEAKER_00: And it was a slow walk using a cane when I was at my worst.
- 15:01SPEAKER_00: Now, it's important to know where I started.
- 15:05SPEAKER_00: A couple of years ago, and you know, for a few years before that, I was walking with a cane a lot.
- 15:13SPEAKER_00: I was 42 pounds heavier and I was struggling with massive pain.
- 15:19SPEAKER_00: Every joint, up and down my spine, all over the place.
- 15:22SPEAKER_00: Inflammation, and every single day, normal everyday activities were so difficult, far beyond what they should have been.
- 15:31SPEAKER_00: Now, yes, weight was part of the lot larger picture.
- 15:37SPEAKER_00: But I don't want you hearing 42 pounds assuming that the weight alone solved everything because it did not.
- 15:47SPEAKER_00: Of it, more because of what I was dealing with in my health challenges than my habits.
- 15:56SPEAKER_00: I was eating healthy.
- 15:58SPEAKER_00: I was hydrated.
- 16:00SPEAKER_00: I was actually moving, but not in the right ways to work with my body.
- 16:05SPEAKER_00: There were a lot of things going on that kept increasing inflammation higher and higher in me.
- 16:11SPEAKER_00: I was already literally doing so many of the things that you are probably doing, considering them to be healthy.
- 16:20SPEAKER_00: But my body at that time was not responding.
- 16:24SPEAKER_00: And my life really started to change and just go downhill, the quality of it.
- 16:31SPEAKER_00: COVID and the prolonged symptoms that followed COVID for me intensified challenges that were already there, but under control.
- 16:44SPEAKER_00: And after COVID, what had worked for me before COVID was no longer working.
- 16:51SPEAKER_00: And that's how this whole picture came to be, this whole situation.
- 16:55SPEAKER_00: And when that happened, I was beyond frustrated.
- 16:59SPEAKER_00: I mean, here I am.
- 16:59SPEAKER_00: I've been in this industry for years and years and years, and I know what to do.
- 17:03SPEAKER_00: I know the right things.
- 17:04SPEAKER_00: I was teaching the right things.
- 17:06SPEAKER_00: Yet I was breaking down.
- 17:08SPEAKER_00: Weight was coming on, pain was coming on, inflammation was coming on, swelling was coming on, my ankles would swell, my feet would swell.
- 17:15SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was a lot.
- 17:16SPEAKER_00: It was a lot.
- 17:18SPEAKER_00: So after COVID, I got the quote-unquote long COVID, which tended to trigger what was already in you and just bring it on a thousandfold, literally.
- 17:29SPEAKER_00: And that was the ultimate final straw.
- 17:33SPEAKER_00: I had to stop and I had to really look at my entire picture if I had any chance of coming back from this.
- 17:44SPEAKER_00: So I that's exactly what I did.
- 17:48SPEAKER_00: And I knew that if I was not going to be on drugs the rest of my life and some pretty heavy duty, serious drugs, I really had to take a step back.
- 17:57SPEAKER_00: And I had to reevaluate what I was doing that normally might have worked and been fine, but was no longer working.
- 18:04SPEAKER_00: And I had to expand that reach.
- 18:06SPEAKER_00: I really had to look at my entire picture, meaning, how was I sleeping?
- 18:12SPEAKER_00: What was I eating?
- 18:13SPEAKER_00: How was I moving?
- 18:14SPEAKER_00: How much stress was I carrying?
- 18:17SPEAKER_00: What was emotionally happening at that time or before that?
- 18:21SPEAKER_00: What kind of recovery did I have and was I giving myself?
- 18:25SPEAKER_00: What support did I need?
- 18:28SPEAKER_00: And it was that whole person approach that led to the limitless reset method that I now teach.
- 18:37SPEAKER_00: And it led to me beginning to heal.
- 18:40SPEAKER_00: Now, I do not have a perfect routine.
- 18:43SPEAKER_00: I will tell you that.
- 18:44SPEAKER_00: What I have is a collection of small, simple, sustainable practices like I was just talking about, that slowly but surely I kept bringing into my day, each one helping me feel and function better.
- 19:00SPEAKER_00: Eventually, layer by layer, creating my day in a different and a new way.
- 19:07SPEAKER_00: I would bring one thing in, and when I would see results or not results, I would reevaluate, readjust, see the change, keep going, and layer.
- 19:17SPEAKER_00: And that's how I approached it.
- 19:19SPEAKER_00: So today I can tell you I walk around without a cane, I can do a few miles, uh hills, I did the rainforest without one, and uh I'm 42 pounds less.
- 19:31SPEAKER_00: And it's just a slow, wonderful progression forward that's healthy, sustainable, simple, and all these little things are worked into my day, but they don't feel like they are this long list of things that are added into my day.
- 19:46SPEAKER_00: Another question for this Wellness Thursday episode that I get a lot is do you always practice what you teach or do you fall off track too?
- 19:55SPEAKER_00: Listen, I absolutely fall off track.
- 19:57SPEAKER_00: I fall off the wagon, is what I call it.
- 19:59SPEAKER_00: You know, I lose that rhythm, something derails me.
- 20:02SPEAKER_00: It happens.
- 20:04SPEAKER_00: But as I answer this, I think maybe what I want to look at is what we mean when we say we've fallen off track.
- 20:12SPEAKER_00: I'll give you an example, perfect, perfect recent example.
- 20:15SPEAKER_00: My husband had bought a pint, it had been sitting in the freezer minding its own business, and all of a sudden it called to me and I wanted it.
- 20:23SPEAKER_00: You know, that calling from the other room, like, Freddie, come eat me, come meet me, right?
- 20:28SPEAKER_00: Have you had that?
- 20:29SPEAKER_00: Have you experienced that in your house?
- 20:30SPEAKER_00: You know how those pints clean, they have four servings in them.
- 20:34SPEAKER_00: I mean, really, come on, who is eating a quarter of that pint?
- 20:38SPEAKER_00: I know there are some people out there that can have a spoonful or two and be satisfied.
- 20:42SPEAKER_00: I don't understand.
- 20:43SPEAKER_00: Not me.
- 20:44SPEAKER_00: Please identify yourself because I have many questions for you if you are that person.
- 20:50SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I ate the entire thing.
- 20:52SPEAKER_00: Now, eating half would have been more reasonable, and sometimes I'm okay with that.
- 20:57SPEAKER_00: But I really just wanted the whole thing and I ate the whole thing.
- 21:00SPEAKER_00: And I added some mini chocolate chips in there because I really wanted crunch.
- 21:04SPEAKER_00: I liked the crunch, it was delicious.
- 21:06SPEAKER_00: I enjoyed every bite of it, and that was that.
- 21:08SPEAKER_00: When I was finished, I was done.
- 21:11SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel guilty.
- 21:13SPEAKER_00: I didn't decide I had ruined my health.
- 21:15SPEAKER_00: I didn't use it as a permission to eat everything in the house that was not nailed down.
- 21:22SPEAKER_00: It was ice cream, it was not a moral crisis.
- 21:26SPEAKER_00: So this is the important distinction because I've had periods of time in my life where if I'd have done that, I'd be like, oh, well, I already did this.
- 21:34SPEAKER_00: I might as well have this too.
- 21:36SPEAKER_00: And then the next day I'd be like, well, you know what?
- 21:38SPEAKER_00: I'll wait until Monday and get back on track.
- 21:40SPEAKER_00: Does any of this sound familiar?
- 21:41SPEAKER_00: Can you relate to this?
- 21:43SPEAKER_00: So I didn't make this a good or a bad event.
- 21:48SPEAKER_00: I didn't make the ice cream a good or a bad food.
- 21:51SPEAKER_00: I just simply enjoyed it and decided, okay, I'm done.
- 21:55SPEAKER_00: I'm good for a while.
- 21:56SPEAKER_00: Period.
- 21:57SPEAKER_00: That's a big mindset shift.
- 22:00SPEAKER_00: I have found that once we decide that, you know, we've been bad or we failed at something, it opens the door just way too easy to say to ourselves, you know, hey, all right, I already ruined everything.
- 22:11SPEAKER_00: I may as well just keep going and I'll start over on Monday, right?
- 22:15SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to wait until Monday.
- 22:17SPEAKER_00: I didn't need to wait for Monday.
- 22:19SPEAKER_00: I enjoyed the ice cream.
- 22:20SPEAKER_00: My next decision was still mine to make.
- 22:24SPEAKER_00: And that is exactly what a reset looks like to me.
- 22:28SPEAKER_00: So I've learned to reset, and this goes back to keeping my mind.
- 22:32SPEAKER_00: Mindset in check, as we started out with.
- 22:35SPEAKER_00: So these are a lot of the things that I've pulled into and as I've created this program for myself, initially for myself.
- 22:43SPEAKER_00: And a real reset is not punishment.
- 22:46SPEAKER_00: It's not about guilt.
- 22:47SPEAKER_00: It's just simply returning to whatever your next choice is.
- 22:50SPEAKER_00: And I've had a lot more stressful, serious periods of time in my life where the routines just, oh, they fell apart.
- 22:59SPEAKER_00: And they just fell apart because life was requiring far more of me than I should have had to carry and knew how to carry.
- 23:08SPEAKER_00: And there just was nothing left for me to make those choices in those moments.
- 23:13SPEAKER_00: Years ago, I injured my Achilles tendon while I was in the Navy reserve, and that disrupted my movement for a long time.
- 23:21SPEAKER_00: Around that broader time period, my mom began needing a lot more assistance.
- 23:27SPEAKER_00: Her dementia was progressing, and I was running and growing a business, and we had an economic crash in 08, and I became a single working mother trying to keep a business alive and take care of my mother.
- 23:41SPEAKER_00: And oh my word, can you get this picture right?
- 23:44SPEAKER_00: There were a lot of financial pressures.
- 23:46SPEAKER_00: There was a lot of business changes, relationship losses, caregiving, grief, injury to deal with, and a whole host of other family health issues over a number of years.
- 24:00SPEAKER_00: This went on for quite a long time.
- 24:02SPEAKER_00: My mom lived to be almost 99.
- 24:05SPEAKER_00: It did not happen all at once.
- 24:07SPEAKER_00: It just kept accumulating.
- 24:09SPEAKER_00: And as I look back, I can see how long I lived way beyond what was really sustainable for me, for my body, for my health and my well-being.
- 24:22SPEAKER_00: And I have a career where I choose to be there to help other people, to take care of other people.
- 24:29SPEAKER_00: Now, that whole period of time and all the stress that came with it, I can't say that it caused my autoimmune conditions.
- 24:36SPEAKER_00: Health is, of course, far more complicated than that.
- 24:39SPEAKER_00: But what I can say is that prolonged stress or insufficient recovery time, illnesses, injuries, and all the things I was carrying, they all affected how I felt, how I recovered, they all made it so much harder for me to care for myself consistently.
- 25:01SPEAKER_00: They all taxed my nervous system.
- 25:04SPEAKER_00: And they all, I know, contributed years later to what I had to then correct.
- 25:12SPEAKER_00: So, yes, I absolutely know what it's like to know what is good for you and still not have the time, the energy, or the capacity at the end of the day to actually do it for myself.
- 25:26SPEAKER_00: I understand what it means to take care of everybody else very well and keep pushing and pushing and pushing until your own needs are so far down the list you have no idea even where to begin.
- 25:38SPEAKER_00: So when I'm teaching wellness to you, I promise you, I am not teaching from outside my experience.
- 25:47SPEAKER_00: I have really lived so much of what I teach, most, if not maybe even all, of what I teach.
- 25:54SPEAKER_00: So the next question I picked for this week was how do you know whether your body needs rest or it actually needs to get moving?
- 26:01SPEAKER_00: Because I'm just tired and all I want to do is rest.
- 26:05SPEAKER_00: Okay, so sometimes you have to do a little investigating.
- 26:08SPEAKER_00: I pay attention to what has been happening in my life and in my body, in my mind, all of that.
- 26:17SPEAKER_00: I really pay attention to that.
- 26:20SPEAKER_00: And in the moment, what's going on, as well as what maybe I just went through.
- 26:25SPEAKER_00: The things I'm paying attention for and the questions I'm gonna ask myself are going to be okay, have I been sitting all day long or standing still in one position all day long or for too long?
- 26:38SPEAKER_00: Because I'm probably gonna need a little bit of movement followed by rest at that point.
- 26:46SPEAKER_00: Have I been working at a screen for hours?
- 26:48SPEAKER_00: I'm probably gonna need to get up and move and change my scenery.
- 26:52SPEAKER_00: Have I eaten enough?
- 26:53SPEAKER_00: Have I been drinking water regularly?
- 26:57SPEAKER_00: Am I hydrated enough?
- 26:59SPEAKER_00: Did I have an unusually long day?
- 27:03SPEAKER_00: What did I do during that day?
- 27:06SPEAKER_00: Was it a day with a lot of activity?
- 27:08SPEAKER_00: Then I'm gonna need a little rest.
- 27:10SPEAKER_00: These are how I figure out whether I need to actually push myself, get up, and go out, even at a leisurely pace just to get things moving, or whether I just need to sit and collapse and really give myself some rest.
- 27:22SPEAKER_00: And another thing I'm gonna ask myself because of what I actually do is I'm gonna ask myself, okay, how many hours have I spent today or this week or the last several days talking to other people, being there for them, holding space for them and giving them what they need based on what they are experiencing and going through.
- 27:45SPEAKER_00: That may determine how I choose to fill my cup again.
- 27:49SPEAKER_00: Am I stiff because I haven't moved?
- 27:51SPEAKER_00: Might be another question that's simple and logical, right?
- 27:56SPEAKER_00: Or am I dealing with a symptom that movement is actually making worse?
- 28:01SPEAKER_00: So if I'm feeling stiff and I haven't been active, gentle movement is going to help me, usually.
- 28:08SPEAKER_00: So I might stretch, I might do a few mobility exercises or something like a Tai Chi, or I might go out and just take a leisurely walk.
- 28:17SPEAKER_00: When you have arthritis, the inclination can be, and a lot of inflammatory conditions, but the inclination can be to just sit still because moving hurts.
- 28:28SPEAKER_00: I get it.
- 28:29SPEAKER_00: But too much inactivity, it actually creates more stiffness and weakness for most people.
- 28:35SPEAKER_00: Now, again, I'm not a doctor, I don't want to override anything, but literally, this is what happens so often.
- 28:41SPEAKER_00: I'm not suggesting to anyone that you should push through any kind of sharp or unusual or worsening pain.
- 28:48SPEAKER_00: That's not what we're talking about here.
- 28:50SPEAKER_00: If movement changes the way that you walk, or it causes unusual swelling, or it leaves you significantly worse, then it deserves your attention.
- 29:02SPEAKER_00: And by movement, I mean simple walking, simple stretching.
- 29:07SPEAKER_00: Of course, a physician, physical therapist, personal trainer, any of those are going to help you determine what kind of movement is more appropriate for whatever's going on.
- 29:16SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk long COVID.
- 29:17SPEAKER_00: Some people with long COVID, as well as some autoimmune and inflammatory conditions, they can experience what's called post-exertional malaise.
- 29:27SPEAKER_00: That means that physical or mental activity can cause symptoms to actually worsen later, like sometimes the following day.
- 29:35SPEAKER_00: So I actually can have this happen.
- 29:37SPEAKER_00: This is why I have to listen to my body again.
- 29:40SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go back to this, listen to the body, and recognize the days I can do more and the days that I can do less.
- 29:49SPEAKER_00: Because if I do more and I push a little, probably gonna be okay.
- 29:52SPEAKER_00: But if I push too much, it can put me into this situation where the next day isn't the worst.
- 29:58SPEAKER_00: It's the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth day, and it lasts longer with me.
- 30:03SPEAKER_00: And that is not the same thing as simply not feeling motivated to exercise.
- 30:06SPEAKER_00: So if you repeatedly feel significantly worse after exertion, pushing harder is likely not going to be what you need.
- 30:17SPEAKER_00: This is where tracking how you feel, your symptoms, pacing yourself, or even seeking medical attention and guidance is really important.
- 30:28SPEAKER_00: Listening to your body doesn't always mean doing whatever feels easiest at the moment.
- 30:33SPEAKER_00: It means learning about your patterns.
- 30:36SPEAKER_00: So I use an app called uh MyFitnessPal to track food intake for my nutrition, my activity levels, I record in there.
- 30:45SPEAKER_00: And uh I believe there's a place in there as well to record how you feel.
- 30:49SPEAKER_00: You can use any app if you want to, or just write it down in a notebook if you're trying to track your patterns.
- 30:54SPEAKER_00: And rest is part of wellness.
- 30:57SPEAKER_00: So when you're moving and you are trying to recognize what you need, if you need to get out there and move, or you need to sit down and rest.
- 31:06SPEAKER_00: It's okay if it's rest.
- 31:09SPEAKER_00: Rest is a part of wellness, it's not a reward for just finishing everything.
- 31:16SPEAKER_00: It's not something you get to do when the job or the list has been completely completed.
- 31:22SPEAKER_00: I did not always understand that.
- 31:26SPEAKER_00: There was a time for years, actually, when I was going through that hard period that I was describing, where I would put my daughter to bed and I would continue working on my laptop, falling asleep in the chair with the laptop on my lap.
- 31:40SPEAKER_00: Or then I would get up and go grocery shopping at midnight because the store was open 24 hours and everybody at home was asleep.
- 31:48SPEAKER_00: How crazy is that?
- 31:50SPEAKER_00: That was my life, though.
- 31:52SPEAKER_00: In order to caretake a parent, in order to uh keep a business going and be a single mom, I kept pushing and rest became at the bottom of my list.
- 32:03SPEAKER_00: And I pushed like that for too long.
- 32:05SPEAKER_00: Now, if I have a particularly demanding day or two now, make room for the recovery because I know I need it to feel good and continue functioning well.
- 32:14SPEAKER_00: And I do not feel guilty about it.
- 32:15SPEAKER_00: You have my permission.
- 32:16SPEAKER_00: Do not feel guilty about rest and recovery.
- 32:19SPEAKER_00: You don't need to earn it.
- 32:21SPEAKER_00: I've got one more question to wrap this up.
- 32:25SPEAKER_00: And it is, Freddie, I feel tired, achy, completely out of my norm, and I do not even know where to begin.
- 32:33SPEAKER_00: Where do I begin?
- 32:34SPEAKER_00: How do we even start?
- 32:35SPEAKER_00: I am completely overwhelmed.
- 32:38SPEAKER_00: That was kind of a question and a statement and everything.
- 32:41SPEAKER_00: This is something I can relate to.
- 32:43SPEAKER_00: When I was at my worst, I felt overwhelmed and quite frankly, overinformed.
- 32:49SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've made a whole career with information, and I am a bit of a knowledge junkie.
- 32:55SPEAKER_00: I really love researching everything and learning all the time.
- 32:59SPEAKER_00: So there is such a thing as so much wellness information that you have too much floating around your head and it becomes overwhelming.
- 33:06SPEAKER_00: You know, one person tells you you should add this in, eliminate that.
- 33:10SPEAKER_00: And then somebody else tells you, no, you absolutely need this.
- 33:12SPEAKER_00: And another one says, exercise harder, push, push, push.
- 33:15SPEAKER_00: And another one says, no, you need rest now.
- 33:18SPEAKER_00: It's exhausting, right?
- 33:20SPEAKER_00: Then there's all the supplements and the diets and all of the devices.
- 33:24SPEAKER_00: I love technology.
- 33:26SPEAKER_00: I'm motivated by my stats.
- 33:28SPEAKER_00: There's medications and different therapies, and oh my gosh, all sorts of different things that people promise.
- 33:35SPEAKER_00: And everybody says their approach is better than the next.
- 33:38SPEAKER_00: So I can tell you, I understand, uh, been there, done that.
- 33:44SPEAKER_00: I also understand the doctor to doctor to doctor challenges.
- 33:50SPEAKER_00: Uh, it took me months to get some appointments to really figure out and confirm what I thought was going on as what was actually going on, so I could decide how I wanted to approach it fully informed.
- 34:03SPEAKER_00: And literally, it just took me months to get in with doctors and to get them to order the tests and then to get the tests completed and then to get the results and then understand the options and oh, the whole nine yards.
- 34:15SPEAKER_00: It was just crazy.
- 34:16SPEAKER_00: My personal choice, though, was to explore what I could improve through a whole person approach while at the same time continuing with appropriate medical evaluations, testing, monitoring, all that good information.
- 34:32SPEAKER_00: I'm not against medication.
- 34:34SPEAKER_00: Again, I will say that.
- 34:35SPEAKER_00: I believe it has enormous value when it's needed.
- 34:38SPEAKER_00: I also believe, though, that we often overlook the way that we are sleeping, eating, moving, working, recovering, and going about our daily lives.
- 34:49SPEAKER_00: And each one of those things deserves our attention too.
- 34:52SPEAKER_00: We turn to quick fixes very fast in our world.
- 34:57SPEAKER_00: And they are usually addressing symptoms and not the cause.
- 35:03SPEAKER_00: I am looking at the whole picture, doing my best to find ways to correct or control the cause to mitigate, eliminate, reduce the symptoms.
- 35:17SPEAKER_00: So it's a different approach.
- 35:19SPEAKER_00: So I would suggest you take a look at your whole life.
- 35:23SPEAKER_00: And again, we go back to what I talked about earlier.
- 35:26SPEAKER_00: How are you sleeping?
- 35:27SPEAKER_00: How are you nourishing yourself?
- 35:28SPEAKER_00: Are you drinking enough water and hydrated enough?
- 35:32SPEAKER_00: How are you moving enough?
- 35:34SPEAKER_00: Too much?
- 35:34SPEAKER_00: What's your nervous system like?
- 35:36SPEAKER_00: How what's your stress level like?
- 35:38SPEAKER_00: Do you ever give yourself a chance to recover?
- 35:41SPEAKER_00: Are you always moving from one thing to the next thing to the next?
- 35:44SPEAKER_00: Or do you have deep connections in your life?
- 35:48SPEAKER_00: Is there any pleasure or laughter or meaning or quiet in your life every day?
- 35:55SPEAKER_00: And any of the problems that you might be encountering, have you had them evaluated by the right medical person?
- 36:02SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've got unexplained symptoms or you've got persistent worsening symptoms.
- 36:06SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is time to get them evaluated and get those numbers, get the data so that you're making informed decisions.
- 36:15SPEAKER_00: Looking at this whole picture does not mean trying to fix the whole picture at once either.
- 36:20SPEAKER_00: I want to say that again, step by step, one thing at a time.
- 36:25SPEAKER_00: Once you've taken that inventory, then ask yourself, what is the one thing out of all of this that I could address that might help several other areas too?
- 36:35SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it's going to be hydrating yourself first, just getting used to hydrating yourself enough every single day, because that has the potential to help you mentally, energetically, inflammatorily, uh, toxically.
- 36:51SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's going to be some kind of a stress management, or maybe it's going to be movement, whatever it is, but you only pick one at a time, not six, just one.
- 37:00SPEAKER_00: Practicing that one thing consistently and making a part of your daily habits before you do anything else or add anything else in.
- 37:11SPEAKER_00: And you notice what changes.
- 37:12SPEAKER_00: And once it begins feeling more natural, then you bring something else in next.
- 37:17SPEAKER_00: I can tell you, when I began reevaluating and really looking at my own wellness, the last thing in the world I needed was another extreme plan.
- 37:24SPEAKER_00: And I will tell you, I've tried almost every plan there is out there over the years for many different things when it comes to weight loss or in all of my learning and experimenting and oh, all sorts of things.
- 37:35SPEAKER_00: But what I needed really was to understand the whole picture so that I could make changes my body and life could actually sustain.
- 37:46SPEAKER_00: That's what I created and wove into the limitless reset method.
- 37:51SPEAKER_00: That's what my clients experience as well.
- 37:54SPEAKER_00: And this is still how I approach my everyday and how I take care of myself.
- 37:59SPEAKER_00: Completely, not perfectly, not without days that are a little more difficult than others, and certainly not without ice cream.
- 38:08SPEAKER_00: But I take care of myself by paying attention, making the next supportive choice, and returning again and again when life pulls me out of my daily rhythm.
- 38:22SPEAKER_00: So I'll leave you with this reflection question, and we will end today's show.
- 38:27SPEAKER_00: What is your body asking for that you have been too busy, too overwhelmed, or too distracted to notice?
- 38:35SPEAKER_00: For this week's reset, I want you to look at these five areas: your sleep and recovery, your nourishment and hydration, your movement and physical comfort, your mental and emotional load, your connection, your pleasure, and sense of meaning.
- 38:53SPEAKER_00: Give yourself a score from one to ten in each of those five areas without judgment.
- 38:59SPEAKER_00: There's no judgment, judgment free zone here.
- 39:01SPEAKER_00: It's simply information for you.
- 39:03SPEAKER_00: And then choose the one area where you could implement a small improvement that could make potentially the greatest difference and select one action that you can put on repeat for at least the next seven days.
- 39:21SPEAKER_00: That's it.
- 39:21SPEAKER_00: One action.
- 39:22SPEAKER_00: You don't need to create an entirely whole new system.
- 39:26SPEAKER_00: And if this episode helped you feel a little less alone in whatever you might be dealing with and gave you a little more realistic place to begin, I would love to hear about it.
- 39:36SPEAKER_00: And I would love you to share it with someone who may need the same reminder.
- 39:41SPEAKER_00: You can learn more about my coaching programs and events, as well as our free limitless living community for women at fredericadavis.com.
- 39:50SPEAKER_00: And of course, remember that this podcast provides general wellness and education and personal experience.
- 39:57SPEAKER_00: It does not replace individual medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
- 40:01SPEAKER_00: New, severe, persistent, or worsening symptoms should always be discussed with an appropriate healthcare practitioner.
- 40:07SPEAKER_00: Okay, I know you all knew that, but I wanted to say it out loud.
- 40:11SPEAKER_00: So until next time, be rooted, be resilient, and be limitless.