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A Wolf in Pigs Blankets: Starmer's Special Relationships – UK Column Pathétic News · UK Column Radio

• 0:05
  Statesman meet and air the salt laundry and their dysfunctional,
• 0:08
  toxic open special relationship to the world in efforts to
• 0:11
  negotiate trade policy and white papers more existentially
• 0:13
  tedious than Jacob Rees Mogg reading aloud his historical
• 0:16
  erotica. Quivering at Ashenkol, Prime
• 0:18
  Minister Keir Starmer took to the skies, followed by his
• 0:20
  lovely dog, and landed at Mara Largo directly into a Diet Coke
• 0:23
  filled Jacuzzi whereon President Donald the Trump schmoozed him
• 0:27
  with tutti frutti Uzi of those Bushes.
• 0:28
  This the first time in these two men of destiny have 4 gathered a
• 0:31
  Dutch tourist attending remark that it was Earl Grey meets
• 0:34
  Oranjibu. The PM blithely chided Trump for
• 0:36
  playing international silly buggers, to which the poet has
• 0:39
  ejaculated that Starmer had the passage of an amiable cofiered
• 0:41
  frog. They got a milkshake and Timbers
• 0:43
  cooled. Discussions on the transatlantic
• 0:45
  axis between hair Trump and Dershtama took place on a
• 0:47
  whistle stop tour of all American antics.
• 0:49
  First they adjourned to hot dog eating contest in Washington,
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  which the former lawyer won by prosecuting his advantage as a
• 0:54
  bang as a mash addict. Trump called him a wolf in pigs
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  blankets. The grayly faced assassin
• 0:58
  retorted that the commander in chief 300% tariffs on the Easter
• 1:01
  Islands on importing their statues.
• 1:02
  Much of the notion of saving Yankee bacon Stony faced The
• 1:05
  tycoon oinked rashly and chomped on his diplomatic gift of a
• 1:08
  child war. Burton's carpet humor's
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  crackling The intensely dissimilar baby kisses took off
• 1:12
  to a Las Vegas stock show, which the gilded defecator had his
• 1:14
  security sweep vainly for any sign of hungry, hungry Haitians.
• 1:17
  Trump's temper sired further when PM's best friend won best
• 1:20
  in show Starmer quipping that if the president had spent so much
• 1:23
  time training his Bloodhound to sniff out Muslims, it would have
• 1:25
  fared better in the agility costs.
• 1:27
  Trump's security detail tranquilize all participants
• 1:29
  with darts he had it in, stated that his pooch took the prize
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  and declared that despite anti immigrant rhetoric, he can't be
• 1:35
  a racist as Drake is his number one sauna buddy.
• 1:37
  At a Texan golf course, Stammer protested at being given a
• 1:40
  cricket bat to wield, which the leader of the free world
• 1:42
  ignored, completing the field with A50 handicap as Elon Musk
• 1:45
  and his silica Stafford delivered Roman salutes at the
• 1:47
  clubhouse, the PM held aloft the Sabre of Willow, declaring that
• 1:50
  Uncle Sam playing favorites with its nieces and nephews just
• 1:53
  wasn't cricket. Trump bailed A Yorker claiming
• 1:55
  the game only played by terrorist countries, which
• 1:58
  Stammer reverse swept by being the president's favoring of
• 2:01
  Putin in the Ukraine conflict. Don Chadman gave short shrift to
• 2:04
  that tracksuit wearing bomb Zelensky, to which missus
• 2:07
  straight bat defended. I like track suits stops,
• 2:10
  tension peaking deadlines and conniptions approaching.
• 2:13
  Vin Diesel stepped into umpire. These figures of fate embarked
• 2:16
  onto Trump's private monster truck Biden Slayer, and
• 2:19
  negotiations began. What was decided upon in their
• 2:22
  three hour conversation can only be a matter for conjecture,
• 2:24
  which we at Pathetic News are pathologically allergic to.
• 2:27
  Here, the speculations of 1. Mr. Alex Jones of 6 6 rabbit
• 2:30
  hole giant before talks relight on trade deals The peaked Trump
• 2:34
  threatened to shoot Starmer and nuke Lester unless he performed
• 2:37
  A humiliation ritual. The toolmaker's son sang Happy
• 2:40
  birthday Mr. President dressed as Marilyn Monroe over a
• 2:42
  Manhattan subway grating. The chief UK to US exports to be
• 2:46
  tariffed are construction materials and cheddar cheese.
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  Starmer found a workaround by offering construction materials
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  made of cheddar. Trump stated that if the
• 2:53
  buildings were to suffer acts of arson, the survivors get to eat
• 2:55
  grilled fromage amongst the debris to cheese their sorrels.
• 2:58
  The Labour man accepted increased prices for the main US
• 3:01
  to UK exports, Coca-Cola and pronouns.
• 3:04
  He also offered the Republican an invitation to King Charles's
• 3:06
  garden party. We have one, drinks a Jelly foam
• 3:08
  of a Jenna crow and bids on a child flight auction in aid of
• 3:11
  Greenpeace. We can't possibly know the full
• 3:13
  facts of the powwow, but Stammer left the vehicle with a lip in
• 3:16
  only MAGA underpants, feverishly clutching a Twiggy Bar
• 3:19
  statecraft, his soap opera writ large.
• 3:21
  The difference being that the narcissistic cretins playing the
• 3:23
  characters actually affect us, the watching world.
• 3:26
  From the public path to criminalizing pasties.
• 3:28
  After another milkshake, Sama is on his way home, a wiser if not
• 3:31
  happier man. There we can take comfort in
• 3:33
  averting atomization of his country.
• 3:35
  It's worth the sacrifice of 1's own dignity.
• 3:37
  Buttocks unclench as the sovereignty of two great nations
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  is Cordelia for cul. Little Jenny from Twickenham
• 3:42
  sleeps soundly, oblivious to the geopolitical degradation the
• 3:45
  Premier undertook for the continued supply of Jelly beans.
• 3:48
  Trump, eating a burger in space, looks down on Albion and sings
• 3:51
  softly. You and me could write a bad
• 3:53
  romance, Gaga. Oh La La pathetic news verum
• 3:59
  medachum.