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Finding Hope During Unemployment · The World Knowledge

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, good evening, listeners. Thank you again, as always. I'm
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: so grateful for all you guys who have built this
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: podcast up, who listen, who watch. And I've just been,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: you know, falling across so many different stories this year,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: and they're so different. But I came across Dawn Wilcox,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: who's on the screen, and then for those listening, you'll
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: hear her voice.
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  Speaker 2: One of them had a baseball bat, and they said,
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: where did she go? And I just I mean, I
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: think about stuff like that. And I mean, I went,
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  Speaker 2: one of the high schools I went to was Ted Bundy's,
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  Speaker 2: his like high school years before, probably 15 years before
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: I'd been there. But just how common the experience of
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: male violence is for many women. Yeah. think even women
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  Speaker 2: that don't experience it you know sometimes i think it's
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: sort of a self-preservation mechanism to sort of blame the
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: victim you know i call it whistling past the graveyard
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  Speaker 2: you know and you know i'll see women who will
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: say well he's got neck tattoos what do you expect
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: of course he killed her or he's you know he
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  Speaker 2: looks like he's you know a bad guy or whatever
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  Speaker 2: And so that's why it's real important to me to
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: try to find like a picture of the guy that's
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: not a mugshot. I want you to see him on
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  Speaker 2: the beach proposing to her. I want you to see
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  Speaker 2: the smiling guy, the one that you would look at
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  Speaker 2: and think, gosh, I would have dated him, you know,
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: because it really can be a crapshoot. I mean, you know,
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  Speaker 2: sometimes men have a history of violence and we don't,
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: there's no way of knowing that. And sometimes, um, you know,
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: they don't, um, And so it's certainly something that can
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  Speaker 2: happen to anyone. And it happens most often to women
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: in their own homes by the men they're supposed to
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: be able to trust the most.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I wanted to ask you, like, when you
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  Speaker 1: talk about, you know, it's, I feel like it's very
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  Speaker 1: brave of you and I think very discerning, but super hard. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: because I've never had sexual abuse, but I've had physical
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  Speaker 1: slash verbal, emotional, really rough childhood for me. And I
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  Speaker 1: think it took me, I still struggle with it, trusting
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  Speaker 1: men in general, men who have power or in some
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  Speaker 1: form of authority, because I just don't naturally think they'll
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  Speaker 1: have my best interest. But over the years, like you've said,
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  Speaker 1: meeting men that are kind and men that actually do care,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: having to have that balance of like, okay, not all
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: men are bad and having to give a man the
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  Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt before you're like judging, okay, you're
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  Speaker 1: a man, so you must be bad, which is easy
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  Speaker 1: to do when that's just been your experience. Can I ask,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: why do you think First, why do you think femicide
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  Speaker 1: is such a problem in the U.S.? And also, why
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  Speaker 1: do you think that, based on your research, what type
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  Speaker 1: of man is common that you see doing these things?
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  Speaker 1: Or is there any sort of cross in characteristics or personality?
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  Speaker 1: Or what seems to be the motivator for a lot
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  Speaker 1: of these crimes?
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Well, with, you know, domestic violence, femicide, it's often a
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  Speaker 2: loss of control. So, you know, I mean, in one
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  Speaker 2: of the largest or most serious predictors of being killed
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  Speaker 2: by a man is if he's coercively controlling, if he's
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  Speaker 2: telling you what to wear and, you know, what you
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  Speaker 2: can do and, you know, very controlling of your friends
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  Speaker 2: and your social media and all that kind of thing.
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  Speaker 2: That's actually a higher risk predictor than physical violence. abuse,
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: which is mind blowing. So, you know, certainly, um, you know,
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: we tell women just leave, uh, most women, 75% of
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  Speaker 2: women who are killed, who are in a relationship that's
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: ending have left or in the process of leaving. And
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  Speaker 2: so for those type of murders, I think it is, um,
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  Speaker 2: you know, it's, it's a loss of control. It is a,
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  Speaker 2: you know, a loss of the relationship. Um, and certainly
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  Speaker 2: I think some of it is, um, you know, and I,
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  Speaker 2: and I don't necessarily always like the term toxic masculinity
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: because I think masculinity, masculinity has a lot of really wonderful, um, attributes. Um,
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  Speaker 2: you know, um, I'm very appreciative for the ways that
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  Speaker 2: the things that men do, you know, make my life better,
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  Speaker 2: you know, everything from indoor plumbing and air conditioning to
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  Speaker 2: you fought wars so that I have freedom of speech and,
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  Speaker 2: you know, all of those kinds of things. But I
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  Speaker 2: do think that sometimes when men perceive, you know, that they're,
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  Speaker 2: authority or their masculinity is kind of being challenged or
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  Speaker 2: threatened or you know they have kind of marinated in
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  Speaker 2: some of the more negative aspects of what it means
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  Speaker 2: to be a man that can be very threatening kind
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  Speaker 2: of like you know a threat to their integrity to
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  Speaker 2: their perception of their self you know and I do
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  Speaker 2: think a lot of it starts with sort of the
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  Speaker 2: attitudes that they're raised with about women. You know, just
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  Speaker 2: like with any group, when you look at, you know,
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  Speaker 2: the Holocaust or slavery, you know, in order to kill people,
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  Speaker 2: mistreat people, you first kind of have to dehumanize them.
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  Speaker 2: And so I think, you know, it can be very
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  Speaker 2: damaging for men to learn very dehumanizing ideas and language
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  Speaker 2: about women, you know, and certainly femicide is like the,
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  Speaker 2: you know, the end of the road with all of that,
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  Speaker 2: but everything from sexualized slurs and, you know, abuse and,
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  Speaker 2: you know, sexual abuse moving all the way up to femicide.
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  Speaker 2: It's sort of, you know, on a continuum. It doesn't,
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  Speaker 2: femicide doesn't happen in a bad way. You know, and
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  Speaker 2: then when you look at men who commit serial crimes,
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  Speaker 2: sexual homicide or femicide, you know,