Latest / Real STRength with Sarah Draper / Showing Up with Presence and Clarity with Ann Keil Dux | #23
Transcript
- speaker-0: Leadership isn't loud, it's aware. Awareness changes everything. speaker-1: I was performing confidence because I was incredibly shy. When you are trying to do something different, when you're trying to be great and not just good, it ch it means that you're changing your habits. Most people are actually good speakers. They just get in their own way. speaker-0: Welcome to the Future Walk Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Drapert. Each week on the podcast, I explore tools to help you lead your best now and into the future, and I talk with top leaders to see how they stay focused when life gets cluttered. It's time to stop reacting to your life and start leading it. Welcome to Future Walk. Welcome the Feature Walk Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Draper, and I'm so glad you're here. And today we are joined by Ann Keel Ducks. She's an Emmy Award-winning journalist, turned executive presence coach, and she helps leaders show up with clarity, authenticity, and impact, both on camera and anywhere they are. She spent over a decade as a broadcast journalist. Delivering quality content on tight deadlines for television news stations across the country. And she now works with executives, founders, and senior leaders. And she says, and I love this, leadership isn't loud, it's aware. And awareness changes everything. So Anne, welcome to the podcast. speaker-1: Thank you for having me, I appreciate that. speaker-0: Yes, thank you. Again, thanks for being here. And as we get started, I would I'm I'm I'm fascinated. I'm truly fascinated with your career as a broadcast journalist. I would love to hear about some of that and how you've made this transition and why and what you know what you do now matters so much and what you did back then matters as well. But like what what was that and how did it lead to where you are now? speaker-1: Absolutely. So when I think about my early career, I start to see myself as this really determined and passionate journalist who was willing to go the extra mile. And I remember putting on those pantsuits and I was performing confidence. Because I was incredibly shy. I was a very shy child. And I picked the one profession that made sense for everything else that I am. I love people, I'm a storyteller, I love to write, I love video and artistry, but I was shy. And I decided to jump off because otherwise the world would keep moving and I'd be standing still, not sharing. And so I was an on-camera television news reporter. And I learned so much about what performing confidence means. And it's not about being unauthentic. It's about trying to be the best version of yourself when it you need to be on, when seconds matter, and you prepare, but you lose access to yourself and what you know and your intelligence and your skills and your experience. And you perform, and I think you lose people in those moments. And when there is chaos in television news, when there is tragedy, I was on Capitol Hill, I covered every wildfire, hurricane, tornado. I was there. I was with people who lost their children, and I was the first one to knock on their door. I was there in that chaos, and it strips you of everything. And you know this: this rawness that prevents you from performing. And in those moments. That's when you really truly see who you are. And the moments after, I think, are what really define who you are and who you can be. And I think in those moments is how we improve as leaders and communicators. And that's the work that I do, trying to figure out how to turn that chaos, the internal chaos in our minds or around us, into the gifts that make us the most interesting, intriguing, and impactful. leaders ⁓ today. and it's and it's a gift. It's it's a wonderful place to be. I I joke that sometimes I I feel like I'm the robin to my clients, ⁓ Batman. And and I honor that because at the end of the day, while I am a former journalist, I will and have always been a storyteller. And many of us can really understand our value if we strip away the titles that people have given us, honor them, of course, because that says you did a great job. You deserve this. But I think we all really have a title that is one that we choose and is the through line for who we are and who we want to be. And for me, that's storyteller. So I I find my work truly a gift. ⁓ and ⁓ and it's it brings joy and connection because I think that When you have effective communication, which is talking and listening, there are so many more win-wins that we can all appreciate. speaker-0: ⁓ my goodness. Okay. So much, so much there. I love this. I'm gonna go back to the storytelling piece and and kind of think about when you were first in those crises, right? When you started to not as much perform the confidence, but truly get down to who you were as you recognized in those crises. What was that story? that you were learning there or hearing. speaker-1: Course. Well, I think you start to see it first in other people and how they receive you. I didn't realize that I could be better. I was working, I did everything. I worked around the clock. I I put in every bit of myself into my work. I lived and breathed it. But when I reached that level of High stakes communication when I was live, when the sirens were overhead, when people were yelling and screaming, when I spent a day or weeks in a toxic spill. ⁓ No amount of preparation that's solely focused on the information is ever going to be enough. And I realized that in the moments that I didn't have anything left. And I had to figure out that. There is the preparation, and then you need to cut that cord. And then there's the performance, there's the presentation. But the more I was connected to myself and the more I understood why I needed to be there and what I could offer in terms of value, the more I connected with other people. So my epiphany in many ways was the reaction of others who were nodding along or who said, Great job, and called me the next time something happened and said, I want you to be the one who's involved in this. ⁓ and so that's where ⁓ it's interesting because we do so much work on ourselves, like, okay, I did a better job this time. But oftentimes, if you just wait to see what's happening in the room, ⁓ there's so much value there, which is what brings up emotional intelligence, which is like a hot button word now. ⁓ that a lot of us have worked on but didn't realize we had, or maybe we're weak in certain areas or strong in others. But it really is for me an awakening and an understanding without the words at the time, but this was a growth in emotional intelligence that then grew my communication skill set where I could be authentic and also strategic. And I think that there's a fine line there in business communication where we can be truly ourselves, but also smart and strategic at the same time. speaker-0: Sounds like there's a real deep foundational connection. Like connection to that other person, connection to that person who's in crisis, connection to the person who's standing alongside you, connection to that other human being. speaker-1: Absolutely. Absolutely. And and we all have those moments that that break us, right? But I think they also show us what we built or what we can build. And I find that the rooms that and the moments that tried to break me in my life, personal, professional, are also the same rooms that taught me how to lead. And so I always encourage People to understand as we talk about branding and personal branding and marketing. I actually believe that your bumps and your bruises are your brand if you allow it. And those brands are lasting and thoughtful and strategic, and they build loyalty and they build real relationships in a world where we are more dependent on tech and AI. And I love it, but it means less contact with people. And so the best partner. to tech and AI and harnessing it and doing it smart is being the best human you can be, emotional intelligence, communication, listening as well as talking. And I think that's really a a space that we can all spend more time in, recognizing and also trying to figure out how we can upskill as leaders too. speaker-0: How do you convey that? I don't know if it conveys even the right word. How do you I guess we'll start with convey. How do you convey that through distance when you're not like us right here, right on this call? I feel it. Like what is it you're doing? Like I I feel that connection. I feel that heart. I feel that realness. What is it? What what do you do? Like what are your practices to to bring that out of yourself as well as the person you're you're working with? speaker-1: Right. I think at the end of the day, the more you know yourself and you know your value that can create a win-win. This doesn't have to be right versus wrong, he versus she, the more you know that, the better off you are in moments where you have to speak off the cuff or when you are in a high stress mode. ⁓ if you truly believe in your gift or gifts, you can figure out how to communicate that more effectively. The the first part of my work with clients is really doing that emotional intelligence work and and having names for what it is that we're feeling in those moments or better describes how it's not a communication problem or a lack of confidence. In my world, it's a lack of access. So when you're in that communication moment, it's high stakes and you did all your prep and all of a sudden you're in the room And you just don't show up as a hundred percent new. And you come home and you're just like, Man, I did okay. I did it right. I I got the pitch or this worked, but I don't feel good about it. That not feeling good about it is you lost access to yourself. And not only do you feel it, but the audience feels it too. And so for me, I want to make sure that when I'm communicating in a professional space, I'm communicating about what I know. And what I care about, what I know can provide value. And I think that's key to communicating in an effective way and also knowing who you are as well. ⁓ I think when it comes to communicating effectively, of course, there's techniques and tricks and different ways to communicate more effectively with body language or with tone. And I work through all of that. But that's never going to set you up for success if you haven't done that other work first, the emotional intelligence work. Learning how to stay in a space where you're still accessing yourself and you haven't left the building, where the world's spinning around you and you're talking. You're like, I don't know if I said something already. I can't remember. And I remember that a lot. When I first went live on television, the first time I was on top of a mountain, it was a helicopter crash, it was storming. And all my notes, all my prep, my smart prep washed away on my little notepad and I had nothing left. And I remember that moment so vividly because it was just a microcosm of when you have nothing left and you have to depend on yourself. How are you going to show up? speaker-0: So when you're stripped bare, you say on the top of a mountain, someone else just stripped bare of whatever has sustained you so far, when you're stripped bare of that, it really gets down to the essence of who you are. speaker-1: Absolutely. And we need to spend more time hanging out there. And it's not necessarily the fun work where you can just check the box like I did that today. I understand that. When I talk to people and say we work together for six months, nine months, 12 months, or more. Like, wow, that's a long time. It's long commitment. I said, Well, how committed are you to yourself and knowing how to communicate more effectively all of the time? Because I can prep anyone for your next speech and you'll do great. But what I want to know is how you'll do the speech afterwards if we're not working together. Right. And I'm not trying to work myself out of a job, but I think that when you are trying to do something different, when you're trying to be great and not just good, it ch it means that you're changing your habits. And I'd love to say I'm gonna go on a really healthy diet tomorrow and just decide that and do it. But guess what? It may not work. It may not work because as you add new layers of styles and thought processes and mindset shifts and breathing techniques and all the things that we do that in terms of the work together. It takes time to make it your own and part of your own DNA. And change is hard, especially as we get older. ⁓ so that work is incredibly important, but we have to be patient with ourselves and also find the right formula. I always think of ⁓ like a big pot of soup and you look in your fridge and like what can I put in here to make it taste good? ⁓ there's a little bit too much of that. Let me throw something else in. And I think we're all that pot. There's no one answer for one person. we're all so different and we change. ⁓ so we need to constantly be focused on that that rawness and who we are in those moments to figure out how to communicate more effectively. Because if we know ourselves more and then we learn how to communicate our value better in every room in a few seconds or a few hours, and then we top we add all on top of that the presence work, right? The tone and and your body language, that's the complete pie. ⁓ everyone just wants to jump ahead to to, ⁓ let me just get rid of my filler words. Well, okay. But like we need to do that stuff first. speaker-0: There's a real authenticity to all that and a wholeness. So as you're talking and describing this, I love the pot of soup analogy, right? Y'all these different elements are gonna be slightly different. Your flavors, your story goes into, I mean, so much goes into your stew that you're making, but it's your stew, that that authenticity piece. And that stew is going to feed you whether it's a really important presentation. whether it's a quick conversation with someone who's got a question, whether it's an interaction with someone at the grocery store or on and on and on and on, right? Like that is who you are. And it does seem like we don't spend a lot of time figuring that out and then refining that. speaker-1: Absolutely. And we do a lot of talking today. We're expected to and all the different platforms. And it's great to connect with other people. But what happens when you lose track of yourself, when you lose access to yourself in those moments, is your body may say one thing. And then your words, all the prep you did, which is probably like the bullet points of each thing for my slide, and this the main point, right? Your words say another. We are as an audience lost. And the way that our bodies react, the way our brains react is we're going to read your body language, what you're doing, your tone, what you're doing with your shoulders, if you're low down and you're starting whispering or you're running out of air, or you're yelling because you're just overstimulated. We're gonna respond to that and just imagine going mute and anything you're saying, that prep you did now goes in the garbage can. And so that's a real life scenario where when you lose access to yourself, your body might be saying one thing and your your words are saying another and you just lost that moment. And I call it the 75% problem because most of the time I I when I talk to clients about it, they're like, yeah, it was just like parts of me showed up and I figured out this, but I didn't do that. I'm like, 75% of you showed up in that moment and you could have been 100%. And the only person you can blame is yourself, which is frustrating. But there's work to do to make sure you show up fully yourself. And even if you don't get the big gig and you show up fully as yourself, we get it next time. At least you know in that moment afterwards that you did your best. You showed up as your true self. And there's something deeper that when we show up like that, just we're just driving around that day feeling good. All of a sudden it got sunnier. That feels good when we reconnect with ourselves. And we're so busy that we forget how good that can feel and no one else is needed. speaker-0: Yeah, there's like a real incongruency to to what you're I mean, the incongruency to what you're talking about, then incongruency into that state, that state, that sense when there's a disconnect. Yes. I feel it. And and I was thinking this morning, I would I was of course listening to a new audible book coming back from an appointment. And so I'm like, and it's all about story. And and I was just thinking about the overwhelm of words. I feel there's so many words. And As as business owners and entrepreneurs, like we're in a world of words. And I would love to come back to that one, but we're in a world of words to convey worth that convey worth. And and sometimes all the words get tiresome, but no more no point more tiring for me than when I'm trying to communicate something in writing on social media. And I will sit there and I will be like, ⁓ And I just like it's just it's gotta be so perfect and so right. And this is when it comes back to that incongruency for me, is it just doesn't often feel right for me, right? And I might put something out because I think it looks good and I think someone, but in the reality, it just doesn't sit well for me. So I think we have ⁓ innately within us a sense of who we are and what matters. And it's based upon the values and and what we value that we've been talking about. And and really getting in touch, not just emotional intelligence, as you talked about with others, but also our own self-awareness piece. And when that aligns, you're like, ⁓ yeah, this, this is it. It's like magic, man. speaker-1: Yes. Yes. And when we think about emotional intelligence in general and you think about the wheel and I I offer the EQI assessment and and it's shaped like a wheel when we think about how it works. And there's self awareness, which is the core, right? Like knowing to your point, knowing yourself, knowing these things. And then it moves to self-expression. Then how are you communicating that? Right. And if the wheel keeps turning, we think about, okay, but what about in a high stake situation where emotions are running high, where your brain doesn't feel like it's working anymore, because your parasympathetic nervous system is all out of whack. What happens next? And that's where the emotional intelligence really plays a role in in communicating effectively, in in life in general, but certainly in in business situations ⁓ as we move up as leaders. And ⁓ and and it's critical to to remember that. ⁓ and that work too means Knowing who you are, but what about writing it down? What about figuring out how how can you say that in one sentence or how can you say that in three or four? So people have an opportunity to get to know the core of you sooner, and then you build trust sooner, and then you have more loyalty sooner, and then there's the win-win. And so it's it's a moment where we don't have to buy something else, pay someone else to do something else, invest in ourselves more. I think there's so many gems inside us already. And and my work a lot of the time is helping people find those gems and effectively use them in their day-to-day. I think most people are actually good speakers. They just get in their own way. It's not about tacking on a tons of different tips, tricks, and techniques. It's figuring out who they are, how to communicate that. And then of course, adding, I always think it's like rainbow sprinkles on top. ⁓ Right. Because if you just start trying to perform And and you want polish, that's not how you build trust. And that doesn't feel connected. And I don't feel that either. And we have been pulling emotions out of work for far too long. Yeah. speaker-0: That is completely world, virtual land make that worse? speaker-1: Gosh, I think it's a win and a loss. I think we've been able to fully understand what a global world we work in. And we've had opportunities to see and meet and collaborate with people all over the world on camera, on Zoom, on Microsoft Teams, pick your platform. and it's made our world so much bigger, which is a gift. But at the same time, we are meeting people, most people are meeting people less often. They're working from home. We have virtual days or fully virtual virtual jobs. And so we are losing track of each other as humans and that feeling when you enter a room and you experience someone. But that doesn't mean that you can't emotionally connect with someone on camera. And so I I think that the work really is in showing up as the best version of yourself, not just in person. But also on camera. And there's some work to be done in the virtual space whenever you're on camera. Media interviews, content creation, podcasts, whatever that looks like for you. There's work there, and of course, the technical space, but also learning how to communicate slightly differently when you're on camera. Still being yourself, but understanding what the camera does to you versus what you know you look like and sound like when you're in person. Those are different things. speaker-0: some of those things. speaker-1: Well, for one, if you show up on camera and ⁓ and you are raising your voice and and maybe you are ⁓ at a standing desk and you're looking down at everyone and you're talking to people and you're raising your voice very loud, there's everything you're saying in that moment, we're gonna experience it. And I don't think it's gonna go very well. And the same with if you're on camera. And you are back then, I can hardly see you, or you're low down, and you have a lot of headroom. And you're talking and you're trying to pitch me, convince me of something. And I just, I, it reminds me almost of, and this is just about framing what I'm discussing. It reminds me of the principal's office. And when you think about the principal, they're mad and the child's there, like, ⁓ I did something, I shouldn't have. The child's looking up at the principal and and the principal's looking down at the child. And no one likes that feeling, right? We've all experienced it and even in life. where we've kind of someone's been talking down to us or we feel very small on the receiving end or vice versa. No one likes that. So even just having strong headroom, having your your space ⁓ where you occup occupy most of ⁓ the camera area ⁓ is incredibly important. We wanna be eye to eye, right? We want to experience people. The value of eye contact has not been lost in the virtual land. ⁓ and so that's just one one opportunity to think about, okay, like where I'm positioned, where my desk and my chair are do matter. It's not about looking pretty or looking better or anything like that. It's about being able to communicate on a level playing field. And that's how we understand it as human beings. speaker-0: So like right now, me, for example, I've got my camera in front of me. I'm looking at it, but that means I'm not looking at you. So if I look down at if I look at your video, so that that's something I I I've struggled with for years now is how do we how do you feel connection from me and I feel it from you simultaneously? speaker-1: Yes. Well, so think about this. The last time you had a conversation with someone in person, you weren't just staring at them and not and not looking away, right? You sort of like, wait, are we close talking too much? It's awkward. And so when we're on camera, sometimes we have these funny expectations that we all do about what we should show up as. ⁓ gosh, there's the light. Okay. And let me focus on the light. Let me focus on the lens. Or let me not look down too much. In everyday conversations, we are looking down. We are thinking. We're thinking up into the sky. We go in different places. Allow yourself to be you. ⁓ we also have our isms. Some people move a lot when they're communicating, others do not. ⁓ but trying to remember how you communicate in the real world off camera ⁓ is is the key to understanding how to communicate the same way on camera. And ⁓ so giving yourself a moment to take notes if you want to, or to look away and really have a deep moment. You're allowed to do that. And then think about this. When you're at your last networking event, and next thing you know, there's four of you talking. And you make sure that when you're communicating, ⁓ you look at her and then you look over at him. And right. And so let's just say there's three or four different places that even if they're not talking, you're just checking in with everybody, right? It's like that quick check-in. We do it naturally, unless we're incredibly shy and having a moment, but we do that naturally most of the time. So you need to do that too. So Just in that same way, think of your camera lens as one of those people. So you need to pay particular attention to that camera lens because they're a big part of what's happening. But you can check in with your boxes, right? The people in the audience or you know, in the podcast, or if you're on a Zoom, check in with them, see what their facial expressions are. They'll help guide you to see is someone sleeping. Like, do I need to pick up the volume and the tone? Like, where do I need to be? ⁓ and so think of it like that. That camera is just one of those people that you're having the conversation with. They're not the only person. So give yourself a little bit of a break to understand that we don't need to be so focused and so in line because it's intense and we just want to be human. So it's ⁓ it's really remembering ⁓ what we do in an informal, in-person setting and trying to replicate that in ⁓ in our new virtual land. speaker-0: Thank you. That's a fantastic perspective. Very, very helpful. I wanna talk public speaking. I want to talk about maybe not not necessarily the tips and tricks, but just thinking about how people manage public speaking, whether it is through Zoom, whether it is on a stage, whether it is in an office or a boardroom or whatever. Like some of the some of those things, I you know. People often say like people fear public speaking more than death or whatever. I have no idea if that's a true, a true comparison there, but I've heard that so many times is where if I don't say it, people be like, why didn't she say that? Because it's what I hear all the time. ⁓ but how can people overcome those? And and you know, we get to this core of presence. Is is that a part of it? speaker-1: Yeah. So I think it speaks to what we truly believe, which is the more connected you are to yourself, the less often you lose access to yourself. And those fears come up when you feel like you have nothing left. Those fears come up when your anxiety, your stress, or even your overexcitement are so built up in your body, you can almost feel your face getting red and hot that you can't think anymore because your parasympathetic nervous system is out of this world. And you're actually not getting the oxygen you need to your head. So your head does go blank. So that prep you did in terms of the words are lost. And so it's a horrible feeling, especially when to the point we talked about before, where you didn't show up as the best version of yourself and you thought you did everything you had. and I think that's where the fear comes from. The fear is about failure. ⁓ but it's also, when you think about it, it's a mindset. If you go into something. like that thinking you're going to fail. It's a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. Where and it happened to me often when I was a new journalist, where I thought, ⁓ gosh, what if I do this thing with my hands or what if I forget what I'm going to do? And guess what happened? Every single time I did it. I did the one thing. And why? Because it was this bubble next to my head telling me, don't do this. Well, you know what? I only have so many brain cells. I could use it one time. And so I did it. Because that's where my mind was. So when I was raw and I was nervous and I was anxious and I was in this moment, really trying to get important information out there, a part of my brain is up here telling me I'm gonna do poorly. And it's a mindset issue. And so this is what I was saying where if your mind is not in the right place, and I'm not saying the perfect place, and you know, we're all ready to go, and I feel great, and you don't need to feel fantastic, but it's knowing your value and having your mind in the right place. That's just as important in prep, if not more important, than preparing the words, the facts, the figures ⁓ as well. And so that's where I think a lot of the fear comes from. It's ⁓ it's fear of failure. And it the fear becomes real life when your thoughts and emotions are in a negative place. And we don't understand how incredibly important emotions are. I know at least for for my generation, we were told keep the emotions out of work. Keep your personal separate from the professional. I know things have changed so much. But that's how how I was built, my DNA, especially in news. Keep myself out of it. No emotions. Be there. Make sure you get the facts. Who, what, when, where, why, how, right? Get all the perspectives. Make sure everyone's heard. That's where I needed to live. But I took the emotion out of it. So when I talk about how early on I was performing confidence, I stripped so much of the emotion out. I let people feel the emotions and let people express their emotions. ⁓ but that emotional connection for me was lost for quite some time and took value from me in terms of my ability to communicate effectively. I think we need to throw more emotions into the professional world. I'm not saying untapped, I'm not saying we should cry and have mascara running down our faces. I'm saying the emotions that we feel, let's grab a hold of that, figure out why we felt them or why we're feeling them and massage them a bit and figure out how we can turn them into something good. And something important. It's like you think about electricity. It's not just stop. It's gonna keep running, right? And so I think when it comes to emotions, the emotions are gonna keep going. You can't just say, ⁓ I don't wanna feel that bad. Let me just throw that off to the side. It doesn't work like that. We need to do something with those emotions to turn them into something good. And that kind of work is incredibly helpful when it comes to communication and really the work that that you do. speaker-0: Yeah, emotions are messengers in many ways. They they share what we might not be able to understand or express through our words. They still share that for us and for for another person. And they absolutely need to be heated and and discovered and reflected upon. And and ⁓ I I agree. We ⁓ it's really interesting hearing you talk because we have very similar backgrounds in the sense of. often being there on someone's worst day. Sometimes their best, but sometimes the worst. And to get through that or the culture, there's a lot of reasons why ⁓ you you tend to put all your emotions back. It's it's tough. It it's it's tough. It's tough when you feel them and you can't share them. It's tough when you spend so long stopping feeling them that they quit coming up. I've seen that happen. Or they come up at the wrong time, right? So they're there. They're still gonna be there. They're gonna come out somewhere and they're really, really valuable for us. Absolutely. speaker-1: And we spend so much time brushing them away. And that's where, to your point, we either go full throttle or where we have no emotions left and we feel hollow. ⁓ Or they come out at different times. But if we worked through those emotions more efficiently, and I'm not saying tackle the whole thing, I'm saying more. Yes. There's a time and a place, and there's morsels. But if we think about how important emotions are, it's not also about just our own. speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ speaker-1: ⁓ and I want to get to certainly talking about emotions and how we can turn a lot of ⁓ a lot of that the heartbreak into something positive. But I think also what we need to realize is when you're in a communication moment, it's not necessarily just about your emotions, it's about theirs. And so when we talk about smart prep, also I I encourage people to think about what emotion do you want your audience to feel? What do you want them to come away with? Not just what information are you giving, ⁓ 75% increase in this. That's fantastic. Great. I love that. I love the numbers. But how do you want them to feel afterwards? Because that might impact what they do next when the call ends, right? It's like your call to action in a way. And you don't have to specifically tell someone, okay, now you need to dial this number or sign up for this or whatever it might be. I'm talking about that feeling that they say, ⁓ wow, okay, I understand who this person is and you built some buy-in. Right. If you're able to create an emotion that they understand and you can both feel aligned with, think about that moment where ⁓ a friend of yours probably over caffeinated and like, hi, how are you doing? What's going on? You know, and you just had a you had a rough morning. Like, okay, yeah. Okay. And then you find yourself saying, ⁓ I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, why is my voice so high? Why am I bouncing around? This is really strange for me. And it that's that moment where it's like, wait a second, emotions are contagious. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: So what you bring into a space is incredibly important, not only in your own understanding of of how you're feeling and how to work through that, which we've discussed, but it's also like what you want them to feel. If you want people to be excited about a presentation, I want to feel that excitement from you first. And if you come in excited, all of a sudden I'm excited too. And I don't even know why I'm excited. But that's a great way to connect with someone else. And if they decide it's not the right thing, fine. But right now, when we you first walked into that room, those first few seconds, and I felt your excitement. I was on board. And that's that's a gift. And we didn't have to learn anything. We just had to be human and remember that our senses and our emotions are incredibly valuable because we're human. speaker-0: Yeah, I love that. So, so even thinking about like crafting a presentation, I've just jotted down a couple nuggets from you, right? Know your value and the story and emotions. So what comes first? When you're sitting there to build ⁓ you you're building some type of keynote, you're building a pitch, you're building something. Right. What do you start with? speaker-1: So I think that when and I always I live in a world of seconds, even though I left news, I I haven't left yet. and I think about people come to me as like, I need to be a stronger communicator tomorrow, right? We're all on a deadline and it's yesterday. ⁓ so my methodology is called go to you and and it really speaks to ⁓ the whole process of go to you. And it speaks to the whole process of access, shape, and and lead and it and it's real work. It's real work spent together. speaker-0: Can you say that again? Good. speaker-1: ⁓ coaching and doing advisory work. ⁓ But there's a starter bag that I think is really valuable and I use for myself. And I built it out of my own practice and gave it a name that's like, okay, this makes sense. And every time I use it, I feel better afterwards. I know that my message was landed. ⁓ And that's all I needed to know. And and and that's what I think a lot of people just want to feel more confident in. And so with with with go to you starter bag, ⁓ number one, number one is knowing your through line. What is ahead of your next big gig? And we can do this if you'd like to, if you want to think about okay, so what's a big moment coming up? ⁓ it could be just between you and another person, or it can be something with a larger audience. What's coming up that ⁓ feels particularly important to you? speaker-0: Yeah, I mean. ⁓ yeah, ⁓ coming up. So I've got some time. It's not a super huge rush. I'm doing my first full-fledge only keynote on future walk, the tool of walking, the history, but the tool, the practice, and how to use it. So that'll be I'm really excited about it. I've worked it in number of other things, but this is the first time doing it all the way through just about future walk. speaker-1: Yes. Okay. Wonderful. Sounds exciting too. So number one, first step is your key message. So if you if the elevator door closed, if your mic cut out, ⁓ if someone has one moment in time to know what you're going to share and why they need to be there and why they need to be listening, what is your key message? And it has to be a sentence or a phrase and that's it. That's all you have. What would that be for you? speaker-0: Yeah, I'm thinking. Yeah. But I don't think that's this. I think this is the key message is you need to create the time for yourself to do your best work, your best thinking, your best relationship building. You need to prioritize that. You need to create that time for yourself. speaker-1: No, and it's difficult. And by the way Yep. Perfect. Right. And then we can always shorten it out. You need to prioritize yourself, right? For the best work, or we can play with the words. But it's by the way, yeah. Like what does it look like? And this is why I encourage everyone, once you figure out what that is, or even have a starting point for that, write it down. And then you can tweak it. You can have a working document. You can do it in your notes section on your phone if you're on the go, it doesn't matter. Come up with really try and shorten it, make it really nice and tight and know. speaker-0: Yes. speaker-1: That that is your key message. That is your theme. That is your through line. That if you're able to vocalize that one sentence or phrase, you've done your job. You're off the hook. Everything else is explanation. it's sharing more of your expertise and and whatnot. People always ask questions. They can always get more from you. But if we've lost the point, we you've lost us. And so We often bury the lead, we call it burying the lead in in journalism. We wait too long to tell people why we're here. And so we don't need to do that. We need to remember what is that key message that we need to make sure is is shared. And that's that's number one. And so, number one, write that down. By the way, writing number one down and feeling good about your key message may take you days, may take you months, may take you a few seconds, right? This one, two, three can be quick. Or it can be a longer practice. ⁓ number two is your first sentence. So when we were we were talking about energy, and and I want to talk to this through and then we'll put you on the spot again. ⁓ this is hard, right? This is hard work. So when it comes to to your energy in a space, it's much easier to enter a room. And we talked about excitement. It's much easier to enter a room feeling energized, feeling strong. Yeah. Right. And then maybe we lose a little momentum because we get nervous or stressed or someone interrupts us or you know, whatever it is. And we might lose a little of that energy. But we're we started up here and we felt good. And those first few seconds, and we know this first few seconds in that conversation matter a lot. People make decisions in those first few seconds. Okay, so that's one scenario. The other scenario is you walk into that moment and this happens to a lot of people. They their information, they're prepared, but they're nervous, they're anxious, they're stressed, and they're down here. And after two or three minutes, they're up here and they're feeling good. They feel the room, we're great. But what did you lose in those first two, three, or four minutes? And I say you lost a lot. And so I want you to start stronger. And the way to start stronger, ⁓ connecting with with the audience is to know your first sentence. And I am the last person to tell you to memorize a whole script. I will say, throw it out the door. But what I do believe is believe is that if you know that first sentence coming out the door. And you hit them over the head with with something great. That's something that they're gonna remember. And your energy, because you know that sentence, because you believe that sentence, because it's part of your DNA, you're gonna start stronger. So for you, and we don't wanna give away too much because I'm excited. Absolutely. ⁓ but what it what could that first sentence be that you're not bearing the lead, that you're saying something real and not just like edging up to what could be the greatest value? speaker-0: So it's interesting because I I could put a semicolon and have one really long sentence. There's two sentences. The first almost begs a question and then the second answers it. I'll just give you the first one though. See if this is what you're working for. Cool. First one is you're not tired because of how hard you work. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. And I just feel like all of a sudden I love this by the way, right? Because all of a sudden you're like, wait a sec, okay. And then I even want you to like pause, right? Pause in that moment. Let us like soak that up. Let it saturate into us a little bit and say, wait a sec, okay, okay, we're getting into something. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's exactly what I want you to do. Think about our emotions and our senses. Ask important questions. speaker-0: Helena Tower. speaker-1: ⁓ say say the solution first. Tell me the worst moment first, because that's how you get people's attention. We are embracing our commas and in a crazy amount. So if you tell me something interesting and different, I'm going to listen. And so that was perfect, perfect display, right? You know your through line, and we can obviously clean that up even more as you work through it. Number two, your first sentence, then I want to hear your second option. But first one is perfect. What was your second? speaker-0: Part of it is you're tired because you never create the time and space to step out of the noise and think about who you are, where you're going, what you're doing, what matters. You know, that part for the audience is is kind of specific, but like that's why we're tired. That's what the future walk is for. Yes. Is to create that time and space to step out of the noise and think. speaker-1: Absolutely. And and you're tapping into not only is ⁓ you know, making sure that you're clarifying why they're there, like what you're going to offer them in terms of value, but you're also tapping into their own thoughts and feelings and say, ⁓ that's me. Yes. Like she's talking to me, not just talking and about to share value, because of course we always want to learn something, but you just spoke to me and you understand my problem. And so when we think about even ⁓ the problem solution fit. All right. It's what problem are you solving and why you're uniquely qualified to do that. That's a really an important strategy to think through as we are presenting new ideas. And you really jumped into that early on. And so that's incredibly valuable for all of us. ⁓ So kudos again to that one. Right. And so those are our first two steps and I want everyone to write them down because I want you to think about that first sentence and and know it. Remember it. Say it to yourself and believe it. Because when it comes out, it feels like it's part of who you are. It's not being said for the first time. It's not memorizing something and using it for one moment. It really is probably a phrase that you're going to use or have been using for quite some time and speaks to what's in your pot, right? Your soup pot. ⁓ and the third step is breathing. We really forget. How to breathe and how to appreciate being able to breathe until we get a really bad cold. Right. And it's interesting because when we talk about mindset, our mindset is impacted in a great way by how we breathe. If we're not breathing in our belly and we're chest breathing, which happens one, you know, when we're anxious and nervous and excited and so on, we start to breathe out of our chest. Well, there's not as much room. You're not giving your brain as much oxygen. So remembering to breathe properly, which is in your belly, which I want you to feel your belly. If you even put one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly, I want to make sure that you can feel movement in your belly, not in your chest. You'll feel a vibration in your chest, but I want to feel your belly moving. And if you ever need to check in with yourself in a meeting, you can just put your hand on your belly, nobody sees. Just feel to make sure that there's movement there. That means that you're pulling. Really like that oaky strong voice that is yours. And that's also prevents you from when you're speaking for a long period of time, from losing your voice and going high, right? And losing that oxygen there. We really want to feel that oak, whatever that is leathery. I always feel like, you know, in my mind, I think of what feeling is I I don't know why, but I think of these feelings and attachments to it, the voices that really move us. We can all really tune into that. ⁓ so again, the third one is breathing properly. There's box breathing, ⁓ which I'm assuming you're familiar with. There's all different types of breathing techniques that we can latch on to and use. and ⁓ and that's incredibly valuable because, like I said before, you can have the right words, but if you don't have the right mindset, you're lost. And you can have a good mindset. But if you're not breathing properly, preparing your body for that moment, not just your words, not just your brain. you're not going to be the best version of yourself. When we talk about being able to last a long time and having endurance, we're going to lose that. And you speak to endurance a lot, right? That kind of work that we we're doing and how to live smarter for ourselves so that we can continue to operate at a high level internally and externally. So that breath work's critical, right? So it's one is your key message. Number two is your first sentence. And three, your breath. speaker-0: Yeah. So can I go back? Thank you for all of that. ⁓ can I go back to number one? So I have a tagline, which I say at the end of every podcast, but I really fully believe that's not what I said before. Would this be a good number one? The key message is build the life you're working for. Like that's the whole point is being intentional about building, creating, ideating, and then bringing together whatever you need to. speaker-1: Yes. speaker-0: to make all this happen, the life you're working for. speaker-1: So one I would say sounds great, you know, hearing it and makes me think, what would that mean and entail? And the only last check, so check, check, the only last check I would say is does everything you're going to say in that moment during your keynote tie itself back to that one sentence and that one phrase? And if it does, yes. And if it doesn't, throw it out, right? speaker-0: Vary a variant for a specific keynote? Could you do a variant for a specific keynote? speaker-1: Sorry. Course, right? You can dig even deeper. You can give it more characterization. You can really hone into it where you're talking to a certain type of leader or a certain type of person. And the more details you can attach to it, the better you are. So it doesn't feel too ethereal. ⁓ but at the same time. It's your theme, it's a through line. So everything around it, like when we think about putting something together, even when someone's preparing for a pitch or a presentation, know your through line first. And then I almost think about these lines shooting out, and then you have these little bubbles, and then there's, you know, bullet points underneath those bubbles, but everything comes from here. And it's a great way to also get your thoughts organized when you do have a longer communication moment to stay organized, prepared, and also know what you can always come back to. ⁓ so you did fantastic. I love that. And it's a work speaker-0: Thank you for letting me intense ⁓ it. speaker-1: Absolutely. And it's not look, this work, I wouldn't say it's easy, but it's so incredibly impactful. And you have these little aha moments. You're like, okay, I thought I knew this, but then I just gave it words and I wrote it down and I I live and breathe that. And then you say it a couple times and you change it a little bit and you're like, that's it. And there's nothing better than that. Like, yes, like you just connected to yourself in an internal way and you found the right words to say it. And already you're doing that kind of work that ⁓ makes you feel good about communicating with others. speaker-0: Thank you. Okay. So as we start to wrap up here, I'd like to conclude the podcast with our guests sharing how you stay aligned, what your personal practices are to stay aligned with what matters most for you. And that's the future walk is a tool to keep you on track or get you back on track. Because over a lifetime, over a lifetime period in anything, of anything, we have stages or seasons of survival mode. We've got a a propensity to drift if we're not resetting an azimuth and getting back on track. And so the Future Walk is a tool to help people do that. So what are your practices for staying aligned with what matters the most for you? speaker-1: Absolutely. ⁓ well, certainly the starter bag is helpful for me. I use it all the time. You know, we're we're doing so many things that it helps kind of reel me back in to remember that sometimes the simplest answer is the right answer. We don't need to add, add, add, look outside, look outside. I always ⁓ tell myself and tell others to just dig deeper. The value is already inside you. You just need to have patience and kindness. To tap into that and value yourself enough to know that you can pull away for 30 minutes or an hour and have a one person meeting where you can actually do real work that may not check a lot of boxes, but did that internal work that will set you up for success with all those boxes that you can check. And success to me is not just winning awards and moving up and getting the big title. It's feeling good later on. Because you can spend 20, 30, 40 years being highly successful in the world's perspective. But how do you feel when you go home? And how do you feel after retirement and you're at home? How do you feel on your own? And so that's why I really believe that what makes us who we are is not just the skills and the education and the degrees, the certifications that we pick up along the way. I think it's really those moments that also broke us or threatened to break us ⁓ because they show us who we are. And truly those bumps are things that we can embrace and really breathe new life into. speaker-0: I love that. There's ⁓ I just saw something about some Ancient mummies that were found recently in ⁓ they weren't found recently, they were found well over a hundred years ago, but they were their skeletons, they're just skeletons, they weren't mummy mummified, I guess, very well. Some and some archaeologists found them, and then some other things happened, and his his wife kept them until after he passed, and then she brought them to a museum, and they ended up in this museum, just these skeletons. ⁓ they ended up in this museum. With what they were buried with. And they've been buried with things like daggers and some other potentially instruments of war, if you will, or weapons. And they were women. And that was the interesting thing, is no one ever really looked at them. And this team of archaeologists has now been able to use some different new technology to look at them. And what they are finding is in these skeletons, they show these remnants or they show these They show these scars, if you will, on the bone or bone buildup of of use of these weapons. And it's really fascinating because now there's this debate were they warrior princesses or were they just like sports people or whatever, but it's kind of changing the conversation about what these were because they've just recently been uncovered, rediscovered in this wherever they were being held, and and now as scientists are looking at them, but they They bear those scars. And those scars tell a story. And so all of these are who we are, right? And we get the benefit. We're still alive. We get to tell our story. And so, so it's not just, but those scars are a really important part of who we are. And if you neglect to look at those, then you just it's it's a little shallow in the sense of never fully rediscover or discovering your potential, your resilience. ⁓ as well as I think that peace that connects each of us to each other. Right. You don't need to be some polished version of ourselves. We're real, we make mistakes, we learn, we grow, we have bad things happen, we have good things happen. And when we are willing to show that, I think it helps others find their own strength too. speaker-1: Absolutely. And and to your point, when we think about those those hard moments, ⁓ so often we determine our value in those hard moments. So this thing happened to me, whether it's your fault or life or someone else's, that doesn't matter. Right. What I think matters is the moments after that bad moment, that hard moment, that big bump, that loss, the tragedy, the frustration, whatever that is, that moment after, the second after. What you do with what just happened to you is who you are. So you may be at that point crawling. You may be still running and on the go. You're moving forward. You're moving in a positive direction. And that's who you are. So I think that's also incredibly important as we look at, okay, she's telling me to digest this thing that happened to me. And ⁓ that feels big. But you should look at instead, is not that big moment that that your worst day? your worst day? No. It's the day after. What did you do? And how did you start to come back to yourself? And that is a special place that we can easily dig into on our own. speaker-0: I love that. What a beautiful, beautiful way to conclude this wonderful introduction to this really powerful deep work of connecting with others, connecting through presence, being, ⁓ instead of doing, like just polishing in a way, right? Being prepared and preparing, but truly being in that moment with others and and some tools and and strategies to make sure you are your best, so you are your confident best, but really. the importance of of just connecting with who you are and connecting with others through that. So thank you so much, Ann. speaker-1: Absolutely. What a great conversation. speaker-0: Loved it. I've loved it. So appreciate you being on today. Is there anything you want, any final thing you want to share? How people can find you, connect with you? speaker-1: Of course. Well, I'm always having conversations just like this or even ⁓ written down ⁓ on LinkedIn. So you can certainly find me on LinkedIn trying to share those good nuggets for the ultimate win-win in communication. ⁓ and also my website, duckscommunications.com. You can learn more about ⁓ how to work with me and how I work with leadership and communities around the world. speaker-0: Thank you. So dux duxcommunications.com. And I really do appreciate you spending time with us today and helping show how leaders, how people, how humans can show up with presence and clarity and authenticity and why it's so important and why it's so valuable. So thank you for that. And for everyone listening again, duxcommunications.com And please, please visit Anne's work and continue to learn from her. I know I'm so grateful for this time and I will continue to do so as well. So thank you for being here. Thank you for listening, everyone. And if you're finding value on this podcast, please follow so you can make sure you catch the future episodes and do read leave, excuse me, and just leave a comment about what really resonated the most with you. That's really valuable for other people because we learn from each other. And to see what connected with someone else might remind us of something that we've, ⁓ yeah, yeah, that was really valuable too. Or ⁓ I hadn't thought of it that way. I mean that's that's how we learn. That's how we learn in a community. So please take a moment to to leave a comment as well. And then ask yourself this week, ask yourself, how am I showing up in everyday moments? What might change if I spoke with more intention and awareness? If I tapped into some of that emotional intelligence and self-awareness, what might be different in my life if I was truly aware? And you can take a future walk with that question of how am I showing up in everyday moments and how do I want to show up? Take a future walk, think about that and see what becomes clear. And until next time, build the life you're working for. Yeah.