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24 - Hopalong Cassidy's Rustler Round-Up by Clarence Edward Mulford · Hopalong Cassidy's Rustler Round-Up

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  Speaker 1: Hop Along Cassidys Rustler, round Up or Bar twenty like
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  Speaker 1: Clarence Edward Mulford, Chapter twenty four, The Strategy of mister Peters.
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  Speaker 1: Hop Along and his companion rode into Muddy Wells at noon,
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  Speaker 1: and Red Connors, who leaned with Buck Peters against the
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  Speaker 1: side of Tom Lee's saloon, gasped his astonishment. Buck looked
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  Speaker 1: twice to be sure, and then muttered, incredulously, what the heck?
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  Speaker 1: Red repeated the phrase and retreated within the saloon, while
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  Speaker 1: Buck stood his ground. Having had much experience with women
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  Speaker 1: inasmuch as he had narrowly escaped marrying, he thought that
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  Speaker 1: he might as well get all the information possible, and
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  Speaker 1: waited for an introduction. It was in vain, however, for
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  Speaker 1: the two road passed without noticing him. Buck watched them
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  Speaker 1: turn the corner and then called for Red to come out,
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  Speaker 1: But that person, fearing an ordeal, made no report, and
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  Speaker 1: the foreman went in after him. The timorous one was
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  Speaker 1: corralling bracers at the bar and nearly swallowed down the
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  Speaker 1: wrong channel. When Buck placed a heavy hand on his
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  Speaker 1: broad shoulder. Go Ah remarked, Red, I don't want no
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  Speaker 1: introduction none whatever. He asserted, go ay, he repeated, backing
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  Speaker 1: off suspiciously. Better wait till you're asked, suggested Buck. Better
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  Speaker 1: wait till you seize the rope before you duck. Then
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  Speaker 1: he laughed, him bashful fellers, make me plumb disgusted. Why
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  Speaker 1: I've seen your face a bunch of guns and never
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  Speaker 1: turn a hair, And here you are all in because
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  Speaker 1: you fear you'll have to stand around and hide your hands.
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  Speaker 1: She won't bite you anyway from what I saw. How
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  Speaker 1: along is due to be her grub? He never saw
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  Speaker 1: me at all, the chump. He sure didn't see me none,
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  Speaker 1: replied Red with distinct relief. Are he gone? Sure? Answered Buck?
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  Speaker 1: And if they wasn't, they wouldn't see us, not if
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  Speaker 1: we stood in front of them and yelled. She's a hummer,
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  Speaker 1: stands two hands under him, and is a whole lot
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  Speaker 1: prettier than that picture Kwan has over his bar. There's
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  Speaker 1: nothing the matter with his eyesight, but he's plumb locoed
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  Speaker 1: all the same. He'll go and get stuck on her,
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  Speaker 1: and then she'll hit the trail for home and mamma,
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  Speaker 1: and he won't be worth his feed for a year.
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  Speaker 1: Then he paused in consternation, thunder Red, he's got to
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  Speaker 1: shoot tomorrow. Well suppose he has, responded Red, I don't reckon.
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  Speaker 1: She'll stampede his gunplay done. You don't reckon, eh, queried
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  Speaker 1: Buck with much irony. No, and that's what's the matter
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  Speaker 1: with you. Why do you expect to see him tomorrow?
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  Speaker 1: You won't if I knows him and I reckon I do. Nope,
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  Speaker 1: he'll be following her all around. He's got sand to burn,
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  Speaker 1: remarked Red. And awe wonder how he got to know her.
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  Speaker 1: You can gamble she did the introducing part. He ain't
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  Speaker 1: got the nerve to do it himself. He saved her life,
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  Speaker 1: or she thinks he did, or some romantic nonsense like that.
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  Speaker 1: So you better go around and get him away and
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  Speaker 1: keep him away too. Ooh, me, inquired Redd in indignation.
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  Speaker 1: Me go around and told him off. I ain't got
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  Speaker 1: no wagon. You go, or send Johnny. Johnny would say
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  Speaker 1: something real pert and get knocked into the middle next
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  Speaker 1: week for it. He won't do, so I reckon. You
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  Speaker 1: better go yourself, responded Buck, smiling broadly and moving off.
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  Speaker 1: Hey you wait a minute, cried Red, and consternation. Buck paused,
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  Speaker 1: and Red groped for an excuse. Why don't you send Billy,
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  Speaker 1: he blurted in desperation. The foreman's smile assumed alarming proportions,
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  Speaker 1: and he slapped his thigh in Jay, good boy, he laughed, ha,
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  Speaker 1: Billy's the man, good lord, But won't he give cupid
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  Speaker 1: cold feet? Rustle around and send the pessimistic soul to me? Red,
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  Speaker 1: grinning and happy, rapidly visited door after door, shouting hey, Billy,
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  Speaker 1: and proceeded to the next one. He was getting pugnacious
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  Speaker 1: at his lack of success when he spied mister Billy
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  Speaker 1: Williams tacking along the accidental street as if he owned it.
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  Speaker 1: Mister Williams was executing fancy steps and tried to sing
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  Speaker 1: many songs at once. Red stopped and grabbed his bivolous
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  Speaker 1: friend as that person vered to starboard. You're a peach
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  Speaker 1: of a life preserver, you are, he exclaimed. Billy balanced himself,
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  Speaker 1: swayed back and forth, and frowned his displeasure at this
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  Speaker 1: unwarranted action. I ain't no wife, deserter, he shouted, unrope
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  Speaker 1: me and give me the trail. No tenderfoot can ride me.
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  Speaker 1: Then he recognized his friend and grinned joyously. Sure I
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  Speaker 1: will what only one? Just one more, just one more?
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  Speaker 1: You seem a friend. It was all Jimmy's fault, he read,
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  Speaker 1: secured a chancery hold and dragged his wailing and remonstrating friend, Buck,
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  Speaker 1: who frowned with displeasure. This year, said Red in belligerent disgust.
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  Speaker 1: Is the dog blasted hero? What's a going to save
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  Speaker 1: hop Along from a mournful future? What are we going
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  Speaker 1: to do? Buck slipped the colts from Billy's holster and
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  Speaker 1: yanked the erring one to his feet. Fill him full
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  Speaker 1: of sweet oil, source him in the trough, walk him
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  Speaker 1: around for a while, and see what it does, he ordered.
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  Speaker 1: Two hours later, Billy walked up to his foreman and
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  Speaker 1: weakly asked what was wanted. He looked as though he
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  Speaker 1: had just been released from a six month stay in hospital.
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  Speaker 1: You go over to the hotel and find and hop Along,
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  Speaker 1: said the foreman. Sternly. Stay with him all the time,
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  Speaker 1: for there is a plot on foot to wing him
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  Speaker 1: on the sly. If you ain't mighty spry, he'll be
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  Speaker 1: dead by night. Having delivered the above instructions and prevarications,
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  Speaker 1: Buck throttled the laugh, which threatened to injure him, and
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  Speaker 1: scowled at Red, who again fled into the saloon for
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  Speaker 1: fear of spoiling it all with revealed mirth. The convalescent
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  Speaker 1: stared in open mouth astonishment. What's he doing in the hotel?
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  Speaker 1: And who's going to plug him? He asked, You leave
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  Speaker 1: that to me, replied Buck. All you has to do
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  Speaker 1: is to get on the job with your gun, handing
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  Speaker 1: the weapon to him and freeze to him like a
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  Speaker 1: flea on a cow. Maybe there'll be a woman in
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  Speaker 1: the game, but that ain't not a your funeral. You
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  Speaker 1: do what I said, Blast The woman exploded, Billy, moving off.
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  Speaker 1: When he had entered the hotel, Buck went into Red
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  Speaker 1: for Pete's sake, moaned that person in senseless reiteration, the
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  Speaker 1: Lord help Billy, Holy mackinaw, he shouted, give me a
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  Speaker 1: drink and let me tell the boys. The members of
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  Speaker 1: the outfit were told of the plot, and they gave
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  Speaker 1: their uproarious sanction, all neading Bracers to sustain them. Billy
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  Speaker 1: found the clerk, swapping lives with the bartender and procuring
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  Speaker 1: the desired information, climbed the stairs and hunted for room
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  Speaker 1: number six. Discovering it, he dispensed with formality, pushed over
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  Speaker 1: the door, and entered. He found his friend engaged in
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  Speaker 1: conversation with a pretty young woman, and on a couch
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  Speaker 1: at the far side of the room lay an elderly, white,
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  Speaker 1: whiskered gentleman who was reading a magazine. Billy felt like
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  Speaker 1: a criminal for a few seconds, and then there came
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  Speaker 1: to him the thought that he was a mission of
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  Speaker 1: great import. He braced himself to face any ordeal anyway.
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  Speaker 1: He thought that prettier they are, the more dust they
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  Speaker 1: can raise. What are you doing here, cried hop along
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  Speaker 1: in amazement. That's all right, a aired the protector, confidentially.
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  Speaker 1: What's all right? Why everything? Replied Billy, Feeling uncomfortable. The
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  Speaker 1: elderly man hastily sat up and dropped his magazine when
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  Speaker 1: he saw the armed intruder, His eyes as wide open
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  Speaker 1: as his mouth. He felt for his spectacles, but did
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  Speaker 1: not need them, for he could see nothing but the colts,
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  Speaker 1: which Billy jabbed at him. None of that snapped Billy,
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  Speaker 1: hands up, he ordered, and the hands went up so
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  Speaker 1: quick that when they stopped, the jerk shook the room.
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  Speaker 1: Hearing over the gentleman's leg. Billy saw the spectacles and
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  Speaker 1: back to the wall as he apologized, it's sure on me, stranger,
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  Speaker 1: I reckon you. Was contemplating some gunplay. Hop A, blazing
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  Speaker 1: with wrath, arose and shoved Billy toward the hail when
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  Speaker 1: mister Johnny Nelson, oozing fight and importance intruded his person
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  Speaker 1: into the zone of action. Lord ejaculated the newcomer, staring
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  Speaker 1: at the vision of female loveliness which so suddenly greeted him. Mamma,
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  Speaker 1: he added under his breath. Then he tore off his sombrero.
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  Speaker 1: Come out of this, Billy, a chump, he exploded, backing
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  Speaker 1: toward the door, being followed by the protector. Hop Along
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  Speaker 1: slammed the door and turned to his hostess, apologizing for
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  Speaker 1: the disturbance. Who are they? Palpitated Miss Deane? What the
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  Speaker 1: deuce are they doing up here? Blaze? Her father, Hopolong
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  Speaker 1: disclaimed any knowledge of them, and just then Billy opened
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  Speaker 1: the door, looked in there he is again, cried Miss Deane,
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  Speaker 1: and her father gasped. Hop Along ran out into the
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  Speaker 1: hall and narrowly missed kicking the elly into kingdom. Come
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  Speaker 1: as that person slid down the stairs. Surprised and indignant.
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  Speaker 1: Mister Billy Williams, who sat at the top of the stairs,
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  Speaker 1: was feeling hungry and thirsty when he saw his friend,
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  Speaker 1: mister Pete Wilson, the slow witted approaching. Hey, Pete, he called,
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  Speaker 1: come on up here and watch this door while I
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  Speaker 1: rustle some grub. Keep your eyes open, he cautioned. As
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  Speaker 1: Pete began to feel restless. The door opened and a
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  Speaker 1: dignified gentleman with white whiskers came out into the hall
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  Speaker 1: and then retreated with great haste and no dignity. Pete
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  Speaker 1: got the drop on the door and waited. Hop Along
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  Speaker 1: yanked it opened and kissed the muzzle of the weapon
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  Speaker 1: before he could stop, and Pete grinned. Comin' to the fight,
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  Speaker 1: He loudly asked, it's going to be a sure enough
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  Speaker 1: sumptuous scrap. Just the cond ya all is like? Come on,
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  Speaker 1: the boy's are waitin for you? Keep quiet, hissed hop Along?
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  Speaker 1: What for? Asked in surprise, didn't you say you sure
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  Speaker 1: wanted to see that scrap? Shut your face and get scarce,
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  Speaker 1: or you'll go home in cans. This hop Along seated himself.
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  Speaker 1: Once more, Red strolled up to the door and knocked.
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  Speaker 1: Hop Along ripped it open and read, Looking as fierce
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  Speaker 1: and worried as he could, asked hop Along if he
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  Speaker 1: was all right. Upon being assured by smoking adjectives that
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  Speaker 1: he was, the caller looked relieved and turned thoughtfully away. Hey,
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  Speaker 1: you come here, called hop Along. Red waved his hand
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  Speaker 1: and said that he had to meet a man, and
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  Speaker 1: clattered down the stairs. Hop Along thought that he also
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  Speaker 1: had to meet a man, and, excusing himself, hastened after
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  Speaker 1: his friend and overtook him in the street, where he
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  Speaker 1: forced a confession. Returning to his hostess, he told her
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  Speaker 1: of the whole outrage, and she was angry at first,
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  Speaker 1: but seeing the humorous side of it, he became convulsed
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  Speaker 1: with laughter. Her father reread his paragraph of the thirteenth time,
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  Speaker 1: and then, slamming the magazine on the floor, asked how
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  Speaker 1: many times he was expected to read ten lines before
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  Speaker 1: he knew what was in them, and went down to
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  Speaker 1: the bar. Miss Deane regarded her companion with laughing eyes,
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  Speaker 1: and then became suddenly sober as he came toward her.
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  Speaker 1: Go to your foreman and tell him that you will
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  Speaker 1: shoot tomorrow, for I will see that you do, and
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  Speaker 1: I will bring luck to the bar twenty Be sure
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  Speaker 1: to call for me at one o'clock. I will be ready.
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  Speaker 1: He hesitated, bowed, and slowly departed, making his way to
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  Speaker 1: Tom Lee's, where his entrance hushed the hilarity which had rained.
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  Speaker 1: Striding to where Buck stood, he placed his hands on
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  Speaker 1: his hips and searched the foreman's eyes. Buck smiled. You
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  Speaker 1: ain't mad, are you, he asked, Hopolung relaxed, No, but
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  Speaker 1: blame me, sar red, and the others grabbed him from
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  Speaker 1: the rear, And when he had been buffaloed into good humor,
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  Speaker 1: he threw them from him, laughed and waved his hand
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  Speaker 1: toward the bar. Come up, yes, sonsa gans. You're a
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  Speaker 1: cussed nuisance sometimes, but you're a bully gang all the
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  Speaker 1: same end of chapter twenty four. Recording by John Brandon