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When Soccer Became Stranger Than Fiction · Ebbs of History

• Jason: to The Ebbs of History, the show where we dribble through the strangest, wildest, and sometimes downright creepiest stories the past has to offer. From phantom fog goalkeepers to footballers who never actually played football. Lessons we've learned today. You'll laugh, you'll gasp, you'll groan at my impeccable dad jokes. But, most importantly, you'll learn how history is way cooler than your textbook ever told you. We're history loving hosts, Zoe. Gavin. And I'm Jason, and welcome back to part two of our three part soccer series airing throughout the World Cup. If episode twenty three, the Soccer War, was our group stage, consider this our knockout round. Time for the Fun Fact Challenge! This day in History! So lace up your boots, ⁓ grab your Vuvuzela, and not to riot. This ⁓ is the Ebbs of History. Hey there, history lovers. Welcome back to another episode of Ebbs of History. We're so glad you're here with us today. Zoe, Gavin, how's everybody doing? It's been pretty great. We're on summer break, so literally doing nothing. Not much to say other than nothing. Well, how about we traveled last week? We did go to San Francisco. We went to San Francisco. It was so fun. We went to the Cubs game in San Francisco. It was amazing. They won. They won. Five to one. Oracle Park is just it's it's such it's a it's a really good park. Yeah. I like it. I do. It's just a nice place to play baseball. I think Other than the Cubs game, Alcatraz. That's right. ⁓ Other than the Cubs game, Alcatraz was my favorite. Cool. But then we also had some like amazing fish food. Like fish food. You ate fish food? Fish are fish are friends, not food. But we went on Pier thirty nine and that just had so much good like spots. I had a very good sourdough clam chowder bread bowl that I'm I was like dreaming of it last night. I was thinking like I'm craving a clam chowder sourdough bread bowl right now. That is one of the things you need to do when you go to San Francisco is have a sourdough bread bowl with clam chowder. Mm my I got a shrimp combo fest. Shrimp is already my favorite food. So then ⁓ god, it was so good. We've really just been relaxing other than that. Yeah, that's good. I just beat a Pokemon game like right before we finish this. Well, we're doing something a little Instead of one big deep dive, we're bringing you three weird but true soccer stories from the last one hundred years. Let's kick off ⁓ Pun very much intended. ⁓ wow. Groan at the impeccable Jad Dad joke. There's your groan. Grown or foul. The goalkeeper in the fog. Christmas Day, nineteen thirty seven, London. Chelsea is playing Charlton Athletic ⁓ at Bridge. Which is the Chelsea Stadium. And a thick fog rolls in. ⁓ Charlton? Charlton. It's spelled C H A R L T O N. So we would say Charlton. Yeah. But in England they say Charlton. Course they do. Course they do. Mm-hmm. The R is silent and usually in when w words like this are said in England. Greenwich. Greenwich, yep, there you go. That's not the R isn't silent there. I know I'm just saying that. The W is silent there. I'm like, that's just that one it always trips me up. Yeah. Like in the last episode there was a Greenwich mention and I was reading the script and I'm like, don't say Greenwich, don't say Greenwich. Well when we went to Greenwich, it was actually they changed it to Greenwich Greenwich because of For Wicked. For Wicked, yeah. Which was really cool. Yeah, it was really cool. Went to the Greenwich Cafe. Yep. And then Grandma broke the glasses. Yeah, and grandma broke the glasses. That was fun. That's an interesting story. That was I'll never forget that one. ⁓ good. All right, so we're at Chelsea Stadium. The thick fog rolls in. You know, the real dense, real London you can't see your own shoes type of fog. Charlton's goalkeeper is a man named Sam Bartram. Who, fun fact, would play for Charlton for twenty-two years and over six hundred games and never play for anybody else. So he was very into his job. When a soccer game is happening and visibility gets so bad you can't see across the field, what do you think the referee does? Keep the game going? Yeah. I mean if it's not hazardous weather weather Well no, they can't see at all. Then knowing this podcast and knowing there's a story ahead, he keeps it going. And they keep it going. I mean I'm gonna just I'm gonna say the opposite, just for my own comfort of just like I hope they stopped it 'cause that is not safe. Exactly. He stops the game. Okay, thank God. The referee blew his whistle, paused things a few times, and then eventually decided, nope, this is impossible. The game is over, everybody go home. All the players left the field. The fans left the stands. The other team got changed and was sitting in the locker room. There's one tiny, slightly important problem though. Nobody told Sam Bartram. See, his team had been on the attack when the fog hit. So from Sam's perspective, his teammates were way down at the other end of the field pressuring the Chelsea goal. He couldn't see them because of the fog. And the longer the game went on with no shots coming his way, the more impressed he got with his own team. ⁓ Picture this guy, hands on his hips, peering into the fog, going, Wow, we are dominating today. boy. That must have been like that that one ⁓ Spain goalie. The Spain goalie in the Cabo Verde game. Where because they were just because they w he was just standing there like, hmm whistling. Kicking the grass, nothing else to do. In his own autobiography, Sam later wrote about how proud he was. He said, We must really be on top. He never find out. Just listen. Meanwhile, he is the only player on the entire field. He's alone. A team of one. Defending an empty goal against an empty stadium in a game that does not even exist anymore. The thing is, how could he not tell by the fans like no Well the fans couldn't see anything so they weren't cheering. They can't see anything. The fog is so thick. He can't even see the other end of the pitch. How long did this fog last for that he was standing there? For fifteen minutes he stood there. Fifteen minutes. Finally, a policeman walked through the fog and tapped him on the shoulder and asked, What on earth are you doing here? The game was stopped a quarter of an hour ago. ⁓ And Sam jogs back to the locker room where the rest of his is already washed, changed, and absolutely losing their minds laughing at him. ⁓ my god. ⁓ Did no one go and get him? ⁓ I know. No, nobody did. I can't imagine just the humil the humiliation of walking into the clubhouse and your team just cackles at you. I know, I know. I mean, teammates, at one point, you gotta think they knew that he wasn't there in the locker room and they're just like, ⁓ my god, he's still on the field. How long will this go on? Let's see. Right, they're teammates. They're all, you know, usually teammates. There was no bad intent. Right, exactly. It's just if it had gone on too long, I'm sure somebody would have gone and got him but no, if he was there for like an hour, like they're like, I wanna go home, like let's go get this guy, but there is now a giant statue of Sam Bartram outside Charlton Stadium. He is a legend. But ask any soccer fan in England and they don't remember the six hundred games that he played for one team. They remember the fifteen minutes he spent guarding a goal, nobody was attacking. I don't know if I would want that to be my legacy, but Right. Yeah My idioti honestly is pain plus time equals comedy. There you go. ⁓ There you go. Very good way to put it. Alright, story the footballer who didn't play football. This one's even weirder. There was a named Carlos Henrique Raposo. Carlos was born in Brazil in He went by the nickname Kaiser because he looked a little bit like the German soccer star Franz Beckenbauer, who was nicknamed the Kaiser. Carlos Kaiser played professional soccer in Brazil and Mexico and France from the late 70s all the way through the 90s. He was on the books of huge clubs. Botafogo, Flamenco, Vasco da Gama, Bangu, a French team, a Mexican team. He partied with the biggest stars in Brazilian football. He had agents, contracts, the entire thing. Here's the catch. ⁓ In a twenty plus professional career, Carlos Kaiser played by most counts ⁓ zero competitive of soccer. ⁓ Zero. He just didn't play. How do you think this even possible? because he was always injured with something. Okay. ⁓ ⁓ it was probably like he's so good we don't want him to go out on the fields and get injured. Like it it was something like along the like the thought process of well we don't want to injure our start player, so we just won't start him. Or we just won't blah blah blah whatever, whatever, whatever. And then that ended up adding up, adding up, adding up over twenty years and then just never played. Twenty plus years and not a single minute of play. See that's why I think it's something like stupid and like weird like that. Alright, here's how. Kaiser was, to put it nicely, a con artist. To put it more nicely, he was the most creative con artist soccer has ever seen. He could not actually play soccer at a professional level, and he knew it. But he wanted the life of a professional footballer. The parties, the famous friends, the nightlife of nineteen eighties Rio de Janeiro, so he built a system to fake it. Step one. He stayed in incredible shape. Like six pack abs, super fast in sprints, the works. So at training, when coaches saw him run, they thought, Whoa, this guy's an athlete. He just made sure to never ever do anything with a ball where anyone could grade him. Step two. He made friends with real soccer stars and with sports journalists. He'd buy them drinks, hang out, charm ⁓ Then those journalists would write articles about how amazing Kaiser was at his last club. And those famous players would recommend him to their managers. So managers would sign him based on b basically Step three. The moment he showed up in a new club, he would limp. ⁓ He'd his eye and say, ⁓ I tweaked something on the flight. I need a couple of weeks to recover before I train fully. Two weeks would turn into a month. A month would turn into I'm almost ready, coach. ⁓ And then step four, if he ever, ever got close to being put into an actual game, he had a backup plan. What would you do if you were fake soccer player and the coach was about to send you onto the field? Fake a medical emergency. Okay. Because he's that sounds like something this guy would do. It does, but he's done with the theatrics and everything. With the flopping and everything, yeah. Yeah. I mean soccer players can do it great. That's true. Alright. Here's what he would do. He would pick a fight. There's a famous story where Kaiser was about to be subbed into a game and He sprinted to the sideline, ran past the coach, climbed into the stands, and started a screaming match with his own team's fans, accusing them of insulting him. The referee threw him out before he could step on the pitch. Then, here's the wild part. The team's owner thought Kaiser was defending the club's honor and gave him a contract extension. The man got rewarded for not playing soccer. I mean at this point it's kind of just ⁓ Coach's fault. Right. Did nobody realize can you be this man has zero minutes on the field? ⁓ Vosty spot. Mm-hmm. He also kept a fake cell phone. And remember, this is the eighties when cell phones were brand new and basically magic. He'd pretend to take calls from European clubs offering him huge transfers right in front of his teammates. Total bluff. Nobody was calling, the phone wasn't even on. Carlos Kaiser eventually got caught when his story became too famous to keep hiding. In twenty eighteen a documentary came out about him called Kaiser, the greatest footballer never to play football. Here's the truly bonkers part. The documentary made him more famous than most actual soccer players will ever be. He turned the lie into a legacy. I mean hey. ⁓ Why not, right? What works ⁓ The match where a team had to defend both goals. This one's my favorite 'cause nobody did anything wrong and the entire game still turned into chaos. ⁓ twenty seventh, nineteen ninety four. Caribbean Cup qualifying match. ⁓ ⁓ playing Granada. To get to the finals, Barbados must win by two goals or more. Anything else, a tie, a one goal win, a loss, and Granada goes through instead. Pretty simple, right? Wrong. Because of the two extra rules the tournament organizers had added, and these are real rules, I am not making them up. Rule one No game can end in a tie. If it's tied after ninety minutes, you go to extra time. Rule two. In extra time, the first goal scored is a golden goal, meaning the game ends right then, and that goal counts as two goals in the standings. Weird, right? can you spot the problem with ⁓ number two? Yes. ⁓ Because if like they go into overtime with zero ⁓ or d if they go into overtime ⁓ Barbados wins, they automatically advance because they two goals. Wait, pause. See, the I feel like the golden goal rule kinda seems useless 'cause like if you just score one goal Well, why do you think it's not a thing? I guess. Right? Like you automatically win if you just score one goal, so why do you need to score two? Because it's the standings, because they can't have a tie at all. Because one team will advance and one team won't It's very confusing. ⁓ But that's part of the problem. That's what this chaos. ⁓ It changes the math. A golden goal and time is worth twice a regular goal. And this is in the World Cup what year? Qualifying. I A golden goal and extra time is worth twice a regular goal. So if Barbados can force the game into extra time and score they magically win by two and qualify. ⁓ my god, I can see where this is going. Exactly. Now here's what happens. Barbados goes up twonill early. They're cruising. Two goal margin, they're going through. Then in the eighty-third minute, Granada scores. It's two to one. Suddenly, Barbados is not winning two anymore. They're going to be eliminated, even though they're winning the game. Mm-hmm. Barbados scrambles to get their third goal, but they can't do it. The Granada Defense locks him out. So with about three minutes left, one of the Barbadian players has a thought. Zoe, what do you think that thought is? need to get into extra time. ⁓ if they lose or if they win by one, they're eliminated. Score on the other goal. ⁓ Yeah. The team looks at the rules and goes, wait a minute. If we tie this game on purpose, we go to extra time. And the golden goal counts double. So all we need is one. So Barbados intentionally, and I mean intentionally, kicks the ball into their own goal. They tie the game. I mean it's a big brain move right there. Very big brain move. Like That's just smart. It's cool. Brilliant strategy. Mm-hmm. Except now the Grenadians figure out the same math. They realized, hey, if we score right now into Barbados's goal, we win three two and we go through. Or, and this is the diabolical part, If Granada scores in its own goal, it makes a score three two and Barbados is eliminated and Granada moves on. That is even though they lost. That is the actual like ⁓ most like troll ever. Right? That is that's what I do. Like that's petty. A stalemate. ⁓ Yes. That is petty. ⁓ So for the last three of regulation time, Granada trying to score in either goal. Barbados's net or their own. It does not matter. They win either way. And Barbados, realizing this, has to defend both goals at the same time. Players sprinting from one end of the field to the other, defenders standing in front of Granada's goal, trying to stop their own opponents from scoring on themselves. See it this all comes down to that golden goal, that two goals. And the fact that Barbados has to ⁓ win by two in order to advance. That's what makes this whole thing so convoluted and crazy. Three minutes of absolute pandemonium later, the whistle blew on regulation two to two. Extra time. Four minutes in, Barbados scored the golden goal. Game ends. The goal counts double. Final score on the books. Barbados four, Granada two. Barbados advances. Wow. That's like I would love to like watch that. I know. Like and realizing as you're watching what's going on and Yeah. I mean, that's awesome. Mm-hmm. It'll never happen again, but that's pretty cool. Yeah, because the new rules. Right. It's only for this tournament too. That's what's a really weird thing to me. Is this the World Cup? This is qualifying for the World Cup. ⁓ So this is the Caribbean Cup. Mm. Yes. So in my mind, it should be standardized. Yeah. Yeah. Especially 'cause if it's like Yeah. Yeah. It should be standard. Like I don't I don't have anything say that I don't know. I don't know why it's not or why back then they were allowed to do this, but yeah. And this is nineteen ninety four? Nineteen January of ninety four, yeah. Yeah, like this isn't that long ago. No, it's ⁓ I remember this World Cup this World Cup because it was in America. And Chicago had one of the they played at Soldier Field. This was not that long ago, guys. I'm just making sure I have that that date right 'cause I was twelve when this happened. So it's not like it's, you know, old timey soccer. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's it's recent. Yes. In the grand scheme of things. Yeah. The Granada coach gave a quote afterward that I wanna read to He said, I feel cheated. The person who came up with these rules must be a candidate for the madhouse. Our players didn't even know which direction to attack. Our goal or their goal. In football, you're supposed to score against the opponents to win, not for them. So those are our three stories. A goalkeeper who didn't know the game was over, a footballer who never played soccer, and a soccer match where teams ⁓ had defend the wrong nets. Historiography. A quick word on how we know these stories. ⁓ Sam Bartram's game is in the British newspapers from December of 1937. The Associated Press ran a wire story on it two days later. And he wrote about it himself in his own autobiography. So the basic story is rock solid, though the details get a tiny bit funnier each time it gets retold. Have you guys ever seen the website Snopes? S-O-N-O-P-E-S? No. It's a great website for debunking things. Like if you see something that doesn't ring true, ⁓ a good place to start would be Snopes. And because they do research into, you know, how truthy is this or how fake is this. Anyway. Snopes has even debunked the photos people share about this incident online. The famous goalkeeper in the fog picture. Going around the internet is actually of a different keeper, Jack Kelsey, from a foggy match in 1954. So when you see the meme, just know the photo is wrong, but the story is right. Carlos is a bit trickier. Most of what we know about him comes from Kaiser himself, plus interviews with his soccer star friends like Zico, Bebeto, and Carlos Alberto Torres. ⁓ Some of his crazier stories, Like claiming he secretly won a Copa Libertadores in Argentina are almost certainly things he made up. So when you hear the Kaiser story, remember the guy who invented the legend was the world's greatest liar. Some of it's real, some of it's exaggerated, and we may never untangle which is which. Is he still alive? Great question. Yeah, he's sixty two years old. ⁓ he's kinda young. Yeah. He's probably watching the World Cup. Like this happened into the nineties. Yeah, he's probably Yeah. ⁓ And then finally, Barbados First Granada is the most documented of the three. There's actual game footage, FIFA records, and the rule that caused the chaos was changed almost immediately after. Obviously. It's really not much historiography I talk about. No. I mean, hey, they just took advantage of the po like the rules. I mean, like they're not breaking any rules, they're just being smart about them. Yeah, I know. Smarter, not harder. That's like a perfect example. Exactly. So, what do three weird soccer stories actually teach us? ⁓ for story two, don't judge a book by its cover. There you go. He stayed insanely in fit. ⁓ Mm-hmm. In ⁓ God, that was terrible. ⁓ He stayed in shape and yeah, He never played a second, you know? Yeah. Zoe, anything? There's something in my brain, but I mean Gavin said it r pretty well. Don't just book by its cover. I mean What about rules matter? Yeah, that too. Badly written rules make people do bizarre things. The Barbados Granada game wasn't a story about cheating. They both followed the rules. The rules were just Bonkers. I'll often hear stories about like all sorts of sports where like they found a loophole in the rules and cheated off that, you know? Even if it's not cheating. Like if you find a loophole it's not cheating. It's not cheating. You see it in baseball a lot. Because you know, they're f trying to find ways like there's been a lot of new rules recently in baseball and Teams are trying to find ways to get around it, which is completely legal. It's not wrong, you know, like you can't steal signs by like electric means, you know. That's illegal. But you can you know, stand a little bit farther to the right when you're on second base to try and see if you can see the pitchers what what pitch he's holding. Yeah. Completely legal. Good example is in spring training when the breweries with the new ABS Yes they had that little green card to notify if it's like a good opp like good time to like use it. Yep. And try to overturn a call. But I mean it's technically not against the rules, but is it against the ethical rules? That's where we have to get into the Yeah. Is it it's a gray area. It definitely is a gray area. Is it okay? I mean, like it's not against the rules, but I mean you're Using the rules to your advantage to have you you have a better ⁓ chance. Yeah. If the other team like your example, Gavin, was perfect because that was during spring training, they were trying to find ways to work with this ABS system. And cheat the system. And they did that and then baseball told them, Nope, you can't do that. And that's communication from the dugout. So they were trying to do a loop do use a loophole, but they couldn't. And then with my example, ⁓ it's the pitcher's fault for holding his glove and and ball showing his grip on the ball. Yeah. You know, so if somebody can see that, that's not unethical at all. That's you using your resources. Yes, exactly. You using your eyes. Yeah. image and reputation can carry you a long way, but eventually reality will show up. Because Carlos Kaiser fooled the world for twenty years, but in the end, the truth eventually came out. And lastly, sometimes the smallest moments make a person more famous than their entire career. Sam Bartram played six hundred games for one team. That's a lot of games. It is. And he's remembered for fifteen minutes in the fog. That weren't even doing game time. Right, right. Right, the game was over. Three questions today. ⁓ One each story. Okay, thank God. Is it in order? Yes it is. my god. Let me finish the question and then lock in. Question one. How long did Sam Bartram stand alone in the fog at Stamford Bridge before someone came to tell him the game had been called off? Lock in Zoe. No Fifteen Minutes. We just said it. Question two. What was Carlos Kaiser's go to trick to avoid actually being put into a soccer game when his coach tried to substitute him in? That's me. He threw me off. Sorry. You dying threw me off. I know, I know, sorry about that. But that was Gavin for sure. Yeah, 'cause he threw me off. He would pick a fight with someone on the other team. That's right, with the fans, the referee, another player. So that his his end goal would be to get thrown out so he didn't have to step on the field. Alright, tie ball game. Sorry. Tied match. Question three. Why did Barbados intentionally score on themselves in the eighty seventh minute against Granada? Locked in. my gosh, I don't know. Alright, rock, paper, scissors. That was kinda even at the exact same time. I think ⁓ first ⁓ best of No no, it's first first ⁓ best of one. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors shoot. Zoe Zoe won that with scissors over paper. Okay. the the question was why did they score on their own goal? Why did they intentionally score themselves, yes? They intentionally scored on themselves because they were tied. So if they scored in their own goal, then Barbados would get the point, but they would still move on. But they would lose because of these weird rules. And if they scored in the actual goal that they were supposed to, they would just They would win because they w won. Okay, you're re definitely on the right track, but you got to have the opportunity to explain it better. You got you got some some facts mixed up there. So we're gonna let Gavin try. Okay. And see who's So Barbados need to score on their own goal because if they scored, it would be two to two and they would have the opportun opportunity to go to overtime. And if they score in overtime, they'll score two points to advance to the World Cup. I was thinking of the other team. ⁓ Uh-huh. Gavin got the point. No, it's not. It's not. We've won plenty. It's definitely been a while. I can flip back. It's def it's been like from the first like five episodes that he's won. So It doesn't matter. ⁓ it does. some other things that have happened on this June 25th, history. In eighteen seventy six, Lakota, Cheyenne, and Arapahoe Warriors led by Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull, defeated US Lieutenant Colonel George Custer and his seventh cavalry at the Battle of Little Bighorn in Montana in what became known as Custer's Last Stand. why were they fighting him? I wasn't ⁓ Yeah. American government was trying to take the land of the Native Americans. Okay. I mean that's basically all you need to need to know. Like, yeah, I haven't really heard much about him yet, but I'm going into US history, so I might learn a bit more. Me too. On this day in nineteen forty seven, the Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank was first published in Dutch in the Netherlands. Eventually becoming one of the most read accounts of a life under Nazi occupation. Yeah, it's we ⁓ if we have a certain teacher, we'll read that next year. wow, yeah. finally, ⁓ nineteen seventy eight, activists raised the first rainbow flag, designed by artist Gilbert Baker at San Francisco's Gay Freedom Day Parade, creating what would become one of the most recognized symbols in the world. So, two things. Number one, when we went to San Francisco last weekend I looked into ⁓ if the Pride Parade was gonna be happening while we were there because all of June there's a bunch of Pride stuff. Mm-hmm. We went to the Cubs game and it was Pride Night, which was frickin' awesome. That was really nice. ⁓ but the parade isn't until the twenty fifth. I wonder why. Mm-hmm. It's because of the Because of this. Uhhuh. And the second interesting side note. LGBTQ plus used to be known as G L B T. Mm-hmm. I didn't know that for one thing. Until the AIDS epidemic in the eighties. Do you know why, Zoe? I do. Do you? I w I I saw a video on this. It was it was Did I send it to you? You might have or someone did or it came across my for you page, but it was because the lesbian nurses helped so much in the ep in the AIDS epidemic that I don't know, like I s was looking at the comments of the video and it was like they didn't get it the L didn't get moved because of that, but it was like a different like reason. But I'm just gonna say what the video said 'cause it might not be true, but it's just like No no go ahead. it moved to the front because they helped so much and they thought it it was it could be more of an important letter. And it was like I don't know if I said that very well, but No. gay men were disproportionately affected by AIDS in the eighties. And because of severe homophobia and panic, healthcare workers refused to treat them. ⁓ lesbians who were largely unaffected became their caregivers, nurses and advocates f for these dying men. After it all calmed down in the nineties, there was a push to not only add the Q to the acronym But also to move the L to the beginning as an act of gratitude and respect. LGBTQ slowly became the norm through the nineties, although the Q wasn't official until twenty sixteen. ⁓ Really? That's a only ten years ago. That's crazy. Mm-hmm. And that's like the most innocuous of them all, too, you know? Like it just means different. Yeah. Right? It's ⁓ it's most like Encapsulating one of all it it it used to be such a derogatory term. I think that's why it took so long to become official. It got normalized. It's been normalized, that's right. They took the word back. Alright, three weird soccer stories. A goalkeeper, a con man, and a match where you defended the wrong goal. Different decades, different countries, same lesson. Sports is at its when it gets a little bit ridiculous. That's it for this episode. Thanks for traveling through time with us on the Ebbs of History. If you like today's story, share it with a teacher, a friend, or your family on Instagram at Ebbs of History. If you have any show ideas, corrections, or questions, you can contact us at questions at ebbsofistory.com. signing off, this has been your co-host, Gavin, Zoe, and me, Jason, reminding you that history is not just about the dates and battles. It's about people, curiosity, and the weird, wonderful choices that shaped our world. Until next time. Keep wondering, keep laughing. And keep learning through the abs of history. I also like the episode. That was awesome. I really liked it. And I checked the last time you