Latest / The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show / Episode 47, Season 1: The Law of Attraction

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Episode 47, Season 1: The Law of Attraction · The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Love Doc podcast. I am your co
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Speaker 1: host Reno Butcher here with our host, doctor Sarah Hinsley. Well,
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Speaker 1: that's what's up, owner and CEO of the Love Doc
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Speaker 1: relationship coaching Services. Because we are officially.
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Speaker 2: There, we are officially the love Doc and it just
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Speaker 2: describes what I do so much more and what we
0:27
Speaker 2: do as.
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Speaker 1: A yeah, and it aligns with the podcast, which I
0:30
Speaker 1: think is really great.
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Speaker 2: Right, And so just for people who don't know this,
0:33
Speaker 2: you know, I started out helping people more in the
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Speaker 2: dating space, and then I started getting contacted like do
0:40
Speaker 2: you help married couples? And I was like, well I could.
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Speaker 2: I don't know why I wouldn't, but sure, let's let's
0:45
Speaker 2: do that. And so I grew. I grew out of
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Speaker 2: the Dating Decoder a long time ago, but I just
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Speaker 2: didn't have the team in place to go through a
0:53
Speaker 2: rebranding that lot. I did the first you know, I
0:56
Speaker 2: did all the first branding myself, and it is really
0:58
Speaker 2: really hard, and so I couldn't have done it without you.
1:01
Speaker 2: I mean, you've been the queen of the rebrand.
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Speaker 1: So it's been a lot of fun, it's been challenging
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Speaker 1: and the times, you know, overwhelming and stressful. But you know,
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Speaker 1: I again, I always have this mentality of, you know,
1:12
Speaker 1: I don't have to do this work. I get to
1:14
Speaker 1: do this work, and it's such a beautiful thing, and
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Speaker 1: I'm just so eternally grateful that I get to do
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Speaker 1: something that I love, especially this podcast. I mean, we love,
1:24
Speaker 1: we love doing this podcast so much. Guys. I know
1:26
Speaker 1: that sometimes it's hard getting here, you know, when it's
1:28
Speaker 1: eighteen degrees outside and it's freezing and I don't want
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Speaker 1: to do anything except sit in my cozy Earth PJS
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Speaker 1: on my couch and just work on my laptop. But
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Speaker 1: it's nice to get to get dressed up and get
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Speaker 1: come here, and you know, kind of honestly, it's like
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Speaker 1: little therapy sessions for me.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: So, but today we've got episode forty seven, and we're
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Speaker 1: going to talk about something that I know I am
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Speaker 1: really interested in that you are, of course an expert in,
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Speaker 1: which is the law of attraction.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I know it became famous with the
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Speaker 2: book The Secret a long time ago, and there is
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Speaker 2: a lot of, I guess debate between Christians and secular
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Speaker 2: individuals around the law of attraction. But in my own
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Speaker 2: personal journey, God has revealed to me that the law
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Speaker 2: of attraction is true. It's just that he is. It's
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Speaker 2: not the universe. Okay, it's him, right, and so but.
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Speaker 1: If you think it's the universe, we don't want to
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Speaker 1: like no xnay you out, like if that's the way.
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Speaker 2: You're I understand. I personally am extremely convicted though, that
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Speaker 2: it's God and I can't deny that, right. But if
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Speaker 2: you if you say didn't have that perspective, and you
2:40
Speaker 2: stood in front of me and say, well, I think
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Speaker 2: it's universe, I would be like.
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Speaker 1: Okay, if that's your entity, that's fine too, Yeah.
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Speaker 2: That's absolutely fine. Yeah, it's just that my personal conviction
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Speaker 2: is that it's God as the creator of all things
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Speaker 2: and the creator of the universe. So what is really,
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Speaker 2: you know, the law of attraction. There's just been this
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Speaker 2: real beauty to full intersection between Christianity and quantum physics
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Speaker 2: in terms of the law of attraction. And I'm down
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Speaker 2: that rabbit hole.
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Speaker 1: Oh see, this is the stuff that like fascinating.
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Speaker 2: Okay, So I've been down the rabbit hole for about
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Speaker 2: I don't know a year or two years now on
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Speaker 2: this topic, and it is very, very fascinating and so
3:18
Speaker 2: quantum physics is finding that down to our very cells
3:23
Speaker 2: there are atoms right that make up our very cells,
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Speaker 2: and inside of those atoms there are electrically charged particles,
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Speaker 2: you know, and that these these particles can can spin
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Speaker 2: in every single direction. And basically what that means is
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Speaker 2: that every infinite possibility, for every infinite outcome is happening
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Speaker 2: all at the same time. And basically what drives you
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Speaker 2: towards a certain outcome that will get those molecules to
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Speaker 2: spin in that in the way to produce that outcome
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Speaker 2: is through true and whole belief aka faith. And I
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Speaker 2: find it to be no coincidence that our salvation comes
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Speaker 2: through faith, that that is the gift of Christ, that
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Speaker 2: our salvation comes through faith alone, not through works, but
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Speaker 2: through faith. But then the law of attraction also says,
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Speaker 2: basically everything that we want also comes through the faith
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Speaker 2: and the actual feeling down to your cellular level and
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Speaker 2: belief that it will happen. Just like the best way
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Speaker 2: I can describe it as like in our business, I've
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Speaker 2: always told you from the get go, failure is not
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Speaker 2: an option. Ye, you agreed with that. You said, if
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Speaker 2: something doesn't work, we'll just pivot we will be successful.
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Speaker 2: There is no other outcome that will happen other than success.
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Speaker 2: And that is a true belief down to our core being,
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Speaker 2: like down to our cellular level, and it has been
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Speaker 2: nothing but that. And SO and I have the same
4:51
Speaker 2: views of love. And when I adopted those views of love.
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Speaker 2: Guess what that is? When I met my husband. And
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Speaker 2: that is when this beautiful life that I have took shape.
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Speaker 2: And of course we just had our husbands on the podcast,
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Speaker 2: so you know, if you're interested in what our marriages
5:06
Speaker 2: are like, please listen to that episode. But I think
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Speaker 2: it's really profound that God has said so many things
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Speaker 2: in scripture that we are now seeing science proof for
5:18
Speaker 2: write or support. I won't say prove, and I don't
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Speaker 2: like that word, but support. And so there's a couple passages,
5:26
Speaker 2: you know that I was reading my Bible yesterday and
5:28
Speaker 2: there's a couple passages that I came across that I
5:30
Speaker 2: thought were so interesting. One is in the Book of
5:34
Speaker 2: Mark where you know, we're talking about the woman with
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Speaker 2: the bleeding issue, or I should say God talks about
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Speaker 2: the woman with the bleeding issue. And she said, well,
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Speaker 2: if I just thought for a second, if I could
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Speaker 2: just touch his cloak, then I would be healed. I
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Speaker 2: just knew if I could touch his cloak and I
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Speaker 2: would be healed. And of course Jesus stops right after
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Speaker 2: he's in this huge crowd of people. He feels this
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Speaker 2: healing energy being pulled from him, and he stops and
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Speaker 2: he says, you know, who touched my cloak? And of course,
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Speaker 2: being sort of this prophet, and people are like, oh,
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Speaker 2: who was it? Who wasn't who dared touch his cloak? Right?
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Speaker 2: And the woman comes forward and she said it was me.
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Speaker 2: And she said, I just knew that if I could
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Speaker 2: touch your cloak, that maybe I would be healed, or
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Speaker 2: that I would be healed. Actually, no, no, maybe, And
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Speaker 2: he said, yes, by your faith, you have been healed.
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Speaker 2: And then in the Book of John is John fourteen
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Speaker 2: it says, you know, ask anything in my name and
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Speaker 2: you shall receive it. Now, do I think that what
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Speaker 2: we ask for needs to be aligned with God's will?
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Speaker 2: It needs to be of God? Right, It can't be
6:40
Speaker 2: something evil, It can't be of the enemy. I don't
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Speaker 2: think God is going to willfully grant us those things
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Speaker 2: from the enemy. Come from our own free will and
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Speaker 2: from our own alignment with the enemy. But I do
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Speaker 2: believe that anything that can be aligned with God's will
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Speaker 2: that is in his nature or the fruit of the spirit, love, peace,
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Speaker 2: patient's kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control. You know, if it's
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Speaker 2: in line with those things, with His goodness, if we
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Speaker 2: believe it down to our very core and we have
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Speaker 2: that level of faith, we shall receive it. And so
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Speaker 2: I think that a lot of people the reason that
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Speaker 2: they don't receive is because they have doubt and unbelief. Right,
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Speaker 2: and doubt, unbelief is natural, it's human. But I also
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Speaker 2: know that Satan is the king of doubt and unbelief,
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Speaker 2: and he's here to kill, steal, and destroy. And I'll
7:25
Speaker 2: just take You know, we got some really tough news
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Speaker 2: that my mom's pancreatic cancer diagnosis is back. Her pancreatic
7:34
Speaker 2: bed is having some activity, and you know, after five years,
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Speaker 2: it's just kind of a punch in the gut to
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Speaker 2: get that news, you know. And my mom's always saying,
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Speaker 2: but I just don't know if my healing is what
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Speaker 2: God wants, you know, And I said, it's always what
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Speaker 2: God wants.
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Speaker 1: Absolutely.
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Speaker 2: God always wants us to be healthy, to be happy.
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Speaker 2: I just truly that's my belief, right, and that it's
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Speaker 2: our own free will and the free will of others
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Speaker 2: not always our own direct free will. It can be
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Speaker 2: the choices that other people make as humans that ripple
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Speaker 2: back to us and create problems in our lives. Right,
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Speaker 2: Like we've created a really toxic world, right, And so yeah,
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Speaker 2: I'm not saying it's my mom's fault she has cancer.
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Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is like our human choices have
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Speaker 2: brought some of these consequences upon us, right. And I
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Speaker 2: think Christ died for our sins to be released, for
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Speaker 2: us to be released from shame, and that although God
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Speaker 2: can handle our doubt and unbelief, even when it comes
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Speaker 2: to Christ and his role as our savior, I think
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Speaker 2: that if we really want these outcomes to appear in
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Speaker 2: our life, it is by no coincidence that they come
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Speaker 2: through faith, as well as our salvation coming through faith.
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Speaker 1: Ye, So what is the secret? I mean, you know,
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Speaker 1: and you mentioned the book The Secret in the beginning,
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Speaker 1: which you know, I agree, is when the law of
8:53
Speaker 1: attraction became really popular on the market. And I mean,
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Speaker 1: I guess you kind of summed up the sea great.
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Speaker 2: In terms so so out so just to sum it up.
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Speaker 2: Outcomes come through the belief, but you can't have that
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Speaker 2: little bit of doubt that creeps in and says, well
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Speaker 2: maybe not, No, I think it's gonna happen. Yeah, No,
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Speaker 2: it is a knowing. It is a it has already happened. Amen,
9:15
Speaker 2: in Jesus name, it has already happened, right. That is
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Speaker 2: how you have to seriously, you'll get.
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Speaker 1: Dug into the ground to no exception, no exception happening.
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Speaker 2: It is happening, just like I said that you've heard
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Speaker 2: it here first. I believe someday we're going to get
9:30
Speaker 2: a huge podcast deal. I believe it with all of
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Speaker 2: my heart and all of my soul. It is on
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Speaker 2: the way. It is happening. Maybe it won't be tomorrow,
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Speaker 2: maybe it won't be a year from now, but at
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Speaker 2: some point it's happening. Yeah, I mean it will happen
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Speaker 2: in God's divine time.
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Speaker 1: That's right. And when I you know, I'll be totally honest.
9:47
Speaker 1: I'm human, of course, And so when I first came on,
9:51
Speaker 1: which has now been a year, I know I can't
9:53
Speaker 1: believe it way. Yeah, February holds so much meaning for me.
9:57
Speaker 1: But you know, I had doubt you know, I was scared.
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Speaker 2: I know you were.
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Speaker 1: I was scared to let go of Yeah, I was
10:03
Speaker 1: scared to let go of my very cushy, very secure,
10:07
Speaker 1: federal government job. Now I look back now and I'm like,
10:10
Speaker 1: how did I ever question it? But it was like,
10:12
Speaker 1: once I jumped in, I was like, all right, I'm
10:16
Speaker 1: all in. Yeah, my heels are dug in deep. And
10:20
Speaker 1: once I think probably just two weeks in, I was like,
10:24
Speaker 1: we are barely scratching the surface. And we were, and
10:29
Speaker 1: like I remember, you would kind of like when I
10:31
Speaker 1: would say we are barely scratching the surface, you'd kind
10:33
Speaker 1: of look at me like, you know, like are we
10:36
Speaker 1: you know.
10:36
Speaker 2: Like like I thought we had something big? Yeah, like nah, nasis,
10:39
Speaker 2: yeah yeah.
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Speaker 1: I'm like, this is gonna be so much bigger than
10:44
Speaker 1: even how big it's already been. And you, I mean,
10:46
Speaker 1: you were already successful when I came on, but you know,
10:50
Speaker 1: and I mean, it continues to blow my mind in
10:55
Speaker 1: terms of just the impact, right, the impact that we
11:01
Speaker 1: get to make in people's lives. And you know, the
11:04
Speaker 1: people that I get to talk to every day, how
11:08
Speaker 1: grateful they are for the content that you put out
11:12
Speaker 1: into the world, and what you're trying to teach people,
11:16
Speaker 1: which is godly love. And you know, and like you said,
11:20
Speaker 1: I think that anything we do that aligns with God's
11:25
Speaker 1: purpose is going. We may not know the direction along
11:30
Speaker 1: the way, and it might take some you know, twists
11:32
Speaker 1: and turns, but I think that ultimately it can only
11:37
Speaker 1: end up in this divine, beautiful, wonderful space that we
11:42
Speaker 1: get to live in. And I'm just I know I
11:46
Speaker 1: say it all the time, but I get really emotional
11:48
Speaker 1: when I think about how great my life was so
11:52
Speaker 1: great before I came on. And it's not all of
11:56
Speaker 1: It's not just the money, right, I want to be
11:58
Speaker 1: very clear, it's not just about money.
12:00
Speaker 2: But it's not about the money. The money is the
12:03
Speaker 2: it's the bonus.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean it's nice, Like I'll be completely honest.
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Speaker 1: The money is nice because I get to do what
12:09
Speaker 1: I want, I get to buy what I want, I
12:11
Speaker 1: get to go where I want, and I get to
12:13
Speaker 1: experience life on this new level. But it's more than that.
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Speaker 1: It's about the impact fulfillment. Yeah.
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Speaker 2: And if it's fulfillment and true joy and what you're doing.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And then and I think that when we when
12:24
Speaker 1: we get to do those things, in our lives, whether
12:27
Speaker 1: that's in your career or in a marriage and a relationship,
12:31
Speaker 1: it becomes just this. It creates this snowball right where
12:36
Speaker 1: you just get more and more blessings. And the more
12:40
Speaker 1: blessings that you receive, and the more gratitude that you
12:44
Speaker 1: show towards those blessings. God always delivers.
12:48
Speaker 2: Oh my Gosh to see deliver. God always delivers. And
12:52
Speaker 2: and so I have people, for example, you know like
12:55
Speaker 2: that are facing something like my mom is facing like cancer,
12:58
Speaker 2: or you've had a major loss, or you've had to listen,
13:01
Speaker 2: that's not God. But what God does promise is that
13:05
Speaker 2: if you believe in his goodness, he wastes not one
13:08
Speaker 2: ounce of our suffering, and He absolutely will fulfill his
13:13
Speaker 2: promise of redemption of your life. That redemption might not
13:16
Speaker 2: be next week, it might not be next year, but
13:18
Speaker 2: that redemption will come. You can bet. If you can
13:21
Speaker 2: bet on anything, you can bet on God. And so,
13:24
Speaker 2: but I think where it becomes really powerful is when
13:28
Speaker 2: you can push that redemp. I mean you can push
13:31
Speaker 2: things along through your faith and through your belief that
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Speaker 2: it's happening. Right. And so everything that's important to me
13:37
Speaker 2: in my life, I believe as long as it aligns
13:41
Speaker 2: with God's will, which is love God, love others, loving yourself.
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Speaker 2: So we can't hate ourself and love others, right, but
13:48
Speaker 2: it's in that order, love God, love others, love our self.
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Speaker 2: Or Third, that it shall be in Jesus' name, amen,
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Speaker 2: And like he says that, like Jesus said that if
13:59
Speaker 2: you ask in my name, it shall be. You know,
14:02
Speaker 2: it is already there. And so I think a lot
14:05
Speaker 2: of people who may have had unanswered prayers wonder why
14:10
Speaker 2: were my prayers unanswered? Well, what I will say is,
14:13
Speaker 2: you don't know everything. God plays five D chess and
14:16
Speaker 2: you're looking at it like checkers. You don't know yet
14:20
Speaker 2: how this situation is going to turn out. You don't
14:22
Speaker 2: know yet what divine intervention is going to come along,
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Speaker 2: and when it's going to come along.
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Speaker 1: There's blessings that come from unanswered prayers.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, can you imagine if I would have
14:33
Speaker 2: married the guy before Donald. I know, listen, I used
14:35
Speaker 2: to pray for that.
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Speaker 1: I used to pray so hard. Please God, Please God,
14:40
Speaker 1: just change Paul, change Paul so that he'll so that
14:44
Speaker 1: he'll proponied to me that.
14:46
Speaker 2: I have the prayer to please just change my first husband.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, so that we could get married and end up together.
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Speaker 1: I mean, that's all I wanted.
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Speaker 2: And so here's what I will say. There are sometimes
14:57
Speaker 2: where you, too, you have to turn other people over
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Speaker 2: to God. You can't try to play God in other
15:02
Speaker 2: people's lives because then you're making them an idol, and
15:05
Speaker 2: you have false beliefs that you have power and control
15:07
Speaker 2: that you do not have. And what I will say
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Speaker 2: is God can handle them way better than you can.
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Speaker 2: And so and sometimes that means you have to let go.
15:17
Speaker 2: Because I run into a lot of people in my
15:20
Speaker 2: practice that are fixers, and they, whether they consciously know
15:24
Speaker 2: it or not, most of them don't. They subconsciously gravitate
15:27
Speaker 2: towards broken people because they find so much value and
15:31
Speaker 2: so much validation in fixing someone in purpose and holding
15:35
Speaker 2: someone else up. And although there's nobility to that, there's
15:39
Speaker 2: also something called enabling bad behavior and abandoning yourself to
15:44
Speaker 2: some degree, and that's not love. I always try to
15:47
Speaker 2: tell people, you know, enabling someone's really poor behavior in
15:49
Speaker 2: the name of keeping the peace or in the name
15:52
Speaker 2: of you getting the validation of feeling like a good
15:54
Speaker 2: person isn't always the right answer, and it's not always
15:57
Speaker 2: the Godly answer either. I mean, God says, you know,
16:00
Speaker 2: let's bury each other's burden, but we shall each bear
16:02
Speaker 2: our own load. And what he means by that is
16:05
Speaker 2: we need to have empathy, but we also need to
16:07
Speaker 2: have independence and personal accountability, and so those two things.
16:13
Speaker 2: You know, we can have empathy for people, and we
16:16
Speaker 2: can do our best to help people, but when we
16:18
Speaker 2: try to take over the role of being God in
16:21
Speaker 2: their life, like we're trying to deeply change who they
16:22
Speaker 2: are on the inside, we don't have that power. We
16:26
Speaker 2: can only control ourselves. And so you have to believe
16:30
Speaker 2: unwaveringly that God is going to handle that person and
16:33
Speaker 2: the way God sees fit to handle that person. And
16:36
Speaker 2: sometimes it means you have to love them from afar
16:38
Speaker 2: and walk away, but you can still keep the belief
16:40
Speaker 2: that God will handle them. I mean, sometimes people walk
16:43
Speaker 2: away and think, well, what are they going to do
16:44
Speaker 2: without me? You know, how are they going to live
16:46
Speaker 2: without me? How are they going to You know, I
16:48
Speaker 2: have a client right now who have worked closely with,
16:50
Speaker 2: who has a spouse. I will not say this person
16:54
Speaker 2: is a man or a woman, because I do protect
16:56
Speaker 2: confidentiality that they have a spouse who has been very
17:00
Speaker 2: dependent upon them their entire life, and there has been
17:04
Speaker 2: enabling of some bad behavior and it's causing them to separate.
17:09
Speaker 2: And this client has a very hard time sort of
17:11
Speaker 2: letting go of like what will happen to them when
17:14
Speaker 2: I'm you know, finally fully out of the picture. And
17:18
Speaker 2: that trust in God without any doubt or unbelief that
17:21
Speaker 2: God can handle that person and will handle that person
17:25
Speaker 2: is crucial to being able to let go.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. And you know, I think I've I've learned this
17:32
Speaker 1: recently and you know, a friend, a close friendship of
17:34
Speaker 1: mine where it's this acceptance and meeting people at the
17:40
Speaker 1: capacity that they have. Yes, And it's it's always been
17:45
Speaker 1: something I've really struggled with because so many times we
17:49
Speaker 1: look at our own capacity in hopes that people like why,
17:54
Speaker 1: people like why don't you just get this?
17:56
Speaker 2: Like how can you understand get it? I've told you
17:59
Speaker 2: a thousand yards what I need from you.
18:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, But the moment that I step back and I
18:03
Speaker 1: just say, you know what, that's the capacity that they're
18:06
Speaker 1: at on their journey, and their journey is different than mine,
18:09
Speaker 1: and I can't force my journey on them.
18:12
Speaker 2: I always tell people you are entitled to your own reality,
18:16
Speaker 2: but so is everybody else. And when you try to
18:18
Speaker 2: rip someone from their reality, it's almost abusive because you're saying,
18:23
Speaker 2: I know so much better than you, and so let
18:24
Speaker 2: me force my reality on you. When guess what, maybe
18:27
Speaker 2: they need to let learn some lessons the hard way.
18:29
Speaker 2: Maybe they need to have some experiences that are going
18:32
Speaker 2: to teach them something that your words can't teach them, right,
18:35
Speaker 2: And so having just a belief in, like I said,
18:40
Speaker 2: God to handle people. But in terms of belief in
18:43
Speaker 2: the outcomes of your own life, if you don't even
18:45
Speaker 2: believe in you, how would you expect anybody else to
18:48
Speaker 2: And how if you don't even believe in you, how
18:50
Speaker 2: would you ever expect to reach your goals?
18:52
Speaker 1: And believe you don't have God believing in you, ain't
18:54
Speaker 1: nobody else gonna believe in you.
18:56
Speaker 2: And God does believe in you. Hed to believe that
19:00
Speaker 2: He knows every hair on your head. He knows every
19:04
Speaker 2: hair on your head, I mean, he knows everything about you.
19:08
Speaker 2: And there's nothing that scares God, right, I mean, God
19:11
Speaker 2: can handle your doubt. But let me tell you, life
19:14
Speaker 2: is a lot better when you can refuse doubt, especially
19:19
Speaker 2: in God, but also not having doubt in yourself. So
19:23
Speaker 2: many people who have been through very difficult relationships, yes,
19:27
Speaker 2: lose a lot of self trust, especially fear full avoidance.
19:31
Speaker 2: I mean they struggle with trust of others, but they
19:32
Speaker 2: also struggle with self trust. You know, am I missing
19:35
Speaker 2: red flags? Is this? You know something that I should
19:38
Speaker 2: be upset about or not be upset about? Is am
19:40
Speaker 2: I making this too big of a deal. And when
19:42
Speaker 2: you reach your attachment security, you have such deep trust
19:47
Speaker 2: in yourself. You have such deep inner knowledge that your
19:51
Speaker 2: intuition is not wrong right and you can find because
19:56
Speaker 2: your intuition comes from God, and so that your intuition
19:59
Speaker 2: I've leave. Is God's voice going no, no, no, listen
20:03
Speaker 2: to this, Listen to this.
20:04
Speaker 1: This is the truth. This is the truth.
20:06
Speaker 2: And that's hard because God's voice is steady.
20:09
Speaker 1: But it's quite, it's.
20:11
Speaker 2: Quiet, and it's gentle, and it's love.
20:14
Speaker 1: You have to be open to receive You do you do?
20:18
Speaker 1: And that's a whole you know journey in practice too
20:21
Speaker 1: and learning and opening yourself up.
20:23
Speaker 2: You have to be open to receive it because a
20:25
Speaker 2: lot of times we block our own blessings. We block
20:28
Speaker 2: our own blessings so much. I think the number one
20:31
Speaker 2: thing that we do to block our own blessings is
20:33
Speaker 2: having doubt. But number two is it's not listening to
20:38
Speaker 2: that inner voice. And whether you believe it comes from
20:40
Speaker 2: God or not, honestly, I don't care. My belief is
20:43
Speaker 2: that it does and it doesn't fail you, right, I mean,
20:48
Speaker 2: I always give this. I think I've talked about this
20:50
Speaker 2: on the podcast before, but I'll say it again for
20:51
Speaker 2: our new listeners. The night of my rehearsal dinner of
20:54
Speaker 2: my first wedding, I busted out into tears. And if
20:58
Speaker 2: you had asked me why, on the surface, I would
21:01
Speaker 2: have said, I said, I don't know. Like asked me
21:03
Speaker 2: where I was crying, I was like, I don't know.
21:04
Speaker 2: I guess it's just stressful. I'm getting married tomorrow. There's
21:06
Speaker 2: a lot has to be in place. But really, what
21:08
Speaker 2: it was, and what I was too ashamed to admit,
21:11
Speaker 2: was that I deeply knew that this was going to
21:12
Speaker 2: be a bad marriage and that this was a very
21:14
Speaker 2: bad life choice.
21:15
Speaker 1: Well, and you weren't, you know, you didn't You were vibrating,
21:19
Speaker 1: You were vibrating at a lower level of who you are.
21:22
Speaker 2: So I think about how those atoms are spinning right. Yeah,
21:25
Speaker 2: and if I believed that this was going to be bad,
21:27
Speaker 2: guess what it was bad and I didn't. I didn't
21:31
Speaker 2: trust in myself enough. But again, I have two beautiful kids.
21:35
Speaker 2: They're meant to be here. So and God has fully
21:38
Speaker 2: redeemed my life in every way. And I even like
21:42
Speaker 2: we know, I've had We've had set I've had setbacks,
21:44
Speaker 2: I've had painful things in my journey, even after I
21:47
Speaker 2: met God and even after I adopted these beliefs.
21:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't protect you from it doesn't protect you
21:51
Speaker 1: from harm.
21:52
Speaker 2: But what it does do is it gives you this
21:55
Speaker 2: deep sense of knowing that even when suffering comes, even
21:58
Speaker 2: when harm comes your way, God's going to redeem it.
22:02
Speaker 2: It's just a matter of time. So you can be
22:04
Speaker 2: patient and wait, and you can breathe through it and
22:07
Speaker 2: sit with a difficulty because man, the good is coming
22:10
Speaker 2: right and that is just like that gives you hope,
22:14
Speaker 2: That gives you something to hang on to at the
22:16
Speaker 2: end of the day when everything seems like it's spinning
22:18
Speaker 2: out of control. Start those atams spinning in the right direction.
22:22
Speaker 2: Believe that your redemption is coming. Believe that good things
22:24
Speaker 2: are on their way, and watch it happen.
22:27
Speaker 1: I can't even recall, and I know I've talked about
22:29
Speaker 1: this too once before on the podcast, but right before
22:34
Speaker 1: I met Josh, there was one guy dated in between
22:38
Speaker 1: him and Mark Billy, Yeah Billy and man Billy Billy
22:44
Speaker 1: as short as short lived as he was, he was
22:46
Speaker 1: this lesson And because I fell hard and I fell deep,
22:50
Speaker 1: and I kind of slipped it back into some of
22:52
Speaker 1: those like old anxious traits, but then I was able
22:56
Speaker 1: to correct them and see them a lot quicker, notice that, hey,
23:02
Speaker 1: I gotta let this go right, And even though I've
23:05
Speaker 1: only dated them, you know, very casually for three months,
23:08
Speaker 1: like it's probably gonna hurt a little bit and I'm
23:10
Speaker 1: gonna feel like some rejection and I'm gonna feel some
23:13
Speaker 1: tinge of like, well maybe I shouldn't and you know,
23:16
Speaker 1: not really trusting that inner gut feeling even though it
23:19
Speaker 1: was telling me, no, you got you gotta nip this
23:21
Speaker 1: one in the butt. And I had like this whole
23:24
Speaker 1: I've talked about it before. I don't want to call
23:27
Speaker 1: it like it's a little way wey to call it this,
23:29
Speaker 1: but it was like a dark knight of the soul
23:31
Speaker 1: where like I just had like I just sat on
23:33
Speaker 1: my back porch and like you know, drank bourbon and
23:37
Speaker 1: smoked cigarettes and like cried my eyes out. But then
23:40
Speaker 1: like afterwards. But the reason why it was so beautiful
23:44
Speaker 1: is because it never really happened to me before. But
23:46
Speaker 1: I knew that something really beautiful was going to come
23:50
Speaker 1: from it. I had no idea what it was.
23:52
Speaker 2: It was John, it was Josh, and it.
23:54
Speaker 1: Was again, it was in And I said this in
23:56
Speaker 1: the last podcast. It was in the Letting Go that
23:59
Speaker 1: the beauty really has.
24:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you have to realize that you don't have
24:03
Speaker 2: any freaking control in this life. I know you would
24:06
Speaker 2: like to believe that you do. You have some little
24:09
Speaker 2: things of control, like you can clean your house, or
24:11
Speaker 2: you can you know, you know, clean your car out,
24:15
Speaker 2: or you can organize then you can organize your closet.
24:19
Speaker 2: You know, you can make sure your kids are in
24:20
Speaker 2: bed at a certain time. But the big things in
24:23
Speaker 2: life you have no freaking control over. And we've always
24:26
Speaker 2: said it right like, if trauma hasn't come for you,
24:28
Speaker 2: it's going to come for you at some point. And
24:30
Speaker 2: you've got to be prepared, And I think some of
24:32
Speaker 2: the preparedness is that deep sense of trust, first of
24:35
Speaker 2: all for me in God, but second of all in yourself.
24:41
Speaker 2: You got to trust yourself. You got to be able
24:43
Speaker 2: to bet on yourself in this life. And when you
24:46
Speaker 2: can bet on yourself, like, it doesn't mean that you
24:50
Speaker 2: have control. It just means that you're going to trust
24:54
Speaker 2: that when things spin out of control, you can handle it.
24:57
Speaker 2: When it's when what if becomes even in and you're
25:00
Speaker 2: okay with that?
25:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, you love that's saying yeah.
25:03
Speaker 2: When is when what if becomes even if? Because it's
25:08
Speaker 2: I mean, I used to live in so much fear
25:10
Speaker 2: and so much anxiety, and it was what if, what if?
25:13
Speaker 2: What if? What if? But security is like, Okay, well
25:16
Speaker 2: even if, even if you know what's going to happen tomorrow,
25:19
Speaker 2: Like who knows, a big asteroid could hit Earth. Apparently
25:23
Speaker 2: we're at the highest level of risk for an asteroid
25:25
Speaker 2: impacting Earth than we ever have been, at three percent.
25:28
Speaker 2: But I'm not gonna sit there and worry about it,
25:29
Speaker 2: Like we're all going to be in the same boat
25:30
Speaker 2: if the asteroid hits or you know what, and the
25:34
Speaker 2: worst thing that happens is I'm going to die and
25:36
Speaker 2: be in paradise, and so you know whatever. But I
25:40
Speaker 2: think that so many people that have gone through difficult
25:44
Speaker 2: romantic experiences lose the capacity to trust the inner voice,
25:49
Speaker 2: the inner voice, and they have this false belief that
25:53
Speaker 2: if they could just be a certain way, that they
25:55
Speaker 2: would get a certain outcome. It's not in it's not
26:00
Speaker 2: in twisting yourself into a pretzel to try to fulfill
26:03
Speaker 2: what someone else needs you to be. It's being who
26:05
Speaker 2: you are authentically and like really being okay with that,
26:10
Speaker 2: Like this is who I am, and I have worked
26:13
Speaker 2: to try to be the best version of myself, and
26:15
Speaker 2: I'm open to learning more lessons and being a better
26:17
Speaker 2: version of myself. But I'm going to show up as
26:20
Speaker 2: who I am. I Am not going to make myself
26:22
Speaker 2: smaller or bigger or different for anyone, because that's not
26:26
Speaker 2: real love, Like love is unconditional. Relationships are conditional, and
26:31
Speaker 2: they should be, but love is unconditional. And the last
26:36
Speaker 2: rung on the ladder is loving yourself. And if you
26:39
Speaker 2: love yourself and you're willing to show up authentically like
26:43
Speaker 2: the things that match that authenticity, that vibrate at that level,
26:46
Speaker 2: that is the law of attraction, They're gonna come to you, right.
26:49
Speaker 2: And so if you're vibrating at a level of fear
26:52
Speaker 2: and a level of doubt, at a level of pessimism,
26:56
Speaker 2: guess what's gonna come your way? More freaking problems. But
27:01
Speaker 2: if you vibrate at a level of like, you know,
27:04
Speaker 2: whatever comes my way, I'm going to handle it. Yeah,
27:06
Speaker 2: God and I together are going to handle it. He
27:08
Speaker 2: will give me the strength to put one foot in
27:09
Speaker 2: front of the other until I walk myself out of
27:12
Speaker 2: this mess.
27:13
Speaker 1: He will do it, Yeah, he will. There's a great book.
27:16
Speaker 1: It's called The Inner Voice of Love.
27:18
Speaker 2: I have it.
27:19
Speaker 1: I gave it to you.
27:19
Speaker 2: He did. And when I just did my new branding
27:21
Speaker 2: rebranding photos, I have a picture of me holding out
27:23
Speaker 2: that book.
27:24
Speaker 1: Let me tell you guys, I highly highly redommend.
27:27
Speaker 2: Beautiful and it really let's put it in our Amazon length.
27:30
Speaker 1: Okay, and a priest actually wrote it. I can't think
27:32
Speaker 1: of his name off the top of my head.
27:33
Speaker 2: I can't either, but it's beautiful.
27:35
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that book saved my life. And it's
27:37
Speaker 1: a book that I've actually recommended to multiple people, you know,
27:41
Speaker 1: along my journey. You know that I've met and that
27:43
Speaker 1: maybe struggling. It's a it's a beautiful book, but essentially
27:46
Speaker 1: what it is, it's it's his intimate journal entries, and
27:50
Speaker 1: it really is the voice of God right speaking through him,
27:55
Speaker 1: and it's you know.
27:56
Speaker 2: It's it's eye opening.
27:57
Speaker 1: Oh it's gorgeous. It's just such a gorgeous book. So
28:01
Speaker 1: we highly recommend that book. And you know it, it
28:04
Speaker 1: essentially too, really talks about listening to God's voice and
28:08
Speaker 1: then again the inner voice, and you know, attracting what
28:12
Speaker 1: it is that you really want from life.
28:14
Speaker 2: And if anybody out there is wondering, like, well, how
28:16
Speaker 2: do you know if it's God's voice. You know it's
28:19
Speaker 2: God's voice if it lines up with scripture. If you
28:21
Speaker 2: can go to the Bible and you can go to
28:22
Speaker 2: Scripture and it's in line with loving God, loving others,
28:26
Speaker 2: loving yourself, it's God right. If it's out alignment with
28:28
Speaker 2: those things, those are Christ's commandments. Love God with everything
28:32
Speaker 2: you got. I mean i'm summary summarizing here. Okay, love
28:35
Speaker 2: others as you would love yourself.
28:37
Speaker 1: And trust yourself. Trust you because I can think of
28:40
Speaker 1: like I can think of the people that I've known,
28:43
Speaker 1: even from en personal experience, those times when I wasn't sure,
28:50
Speaker 1: or those times that.
28:52
Speaker 2: God is not about confusion. No, God is not confusion.
28:55
Speaker 1: So if like, if that voice is a confusing voice,
28:58
Speaker 1: then you know it's not God's.
28:59
Speaker 2: If you are confused, it's not coming from God. That's right,
29:02
Speaker 2: because if it is from God, it will be crystal
29:04
Speaker 2: flipping clear. Yeah, I promised you it will be beyond
29:07
Speaker 2: crystal clear. And if you are in a relationship right now,
29:09
Speaker 2: you're like, I just don't know, I don't know, I
29:10
Speaker 2: don't know. It ain't for you, honey, It ain't for you, bro. Sorry,
29:14
Speaker 2: it's just not because I have never once, no matter
29:18
Speaker 2: what type of disagreement we've had or what type of
29:20
Speaker 2: thing we have faced, I have never once doubted that
29:23
Speaker 2: I should be what's Onald never never, not one time,
29:26
Speaker 2: not one instance, not one second. It has never ever
29:31
Speaker 2: occurred to me that we should not be together.
29:33
Speaker 1: You know, when I think about those people, you know,
29:35
Speaker 1: my mom and dad being one you know that really doubted,
29:37
Speaker 1: or you with your first marriage, like you know, had
29:40
Speaker 1: all that doubt prior to the day before your wedding.
29:43
Speaker 1: I can think like I could not wait to marry Josh,
29:46
Speaker 1: Like there, oh my gosh, absolutely zero doubt. I couldn't
29:50
Speaker 1: like if I if there's any day that I could
29:52
Speaker 1: go back and relive over and over and over and
29:54
Speaker 1: over again, it would be my wedding day for sure,
29:56
Speaker 1: because it was the happiest day of my life. And
29:58
Speaker 1: that's the way it should be.
30:00
Speaker 2: Would be. And so if someone is bringing you so
30:02
Speaker 2: much hurt and confusion, if you are coming back to
30:06
Speaker 2: that person from a place of fear, fear of facing
30:10
Speaker 2: the pain of detachment, it's not for you. If you
30:12
Speaker 2: are dead honest with yourself and you are with that
30:15
Speaker 2: person because you are scared of the pain of detachment,
30:18
Speaker 2: it is not for you. Do not doubt yourself, trust
30:23
Speaker 2: in yourself that you will be okay if you detach.
30:26
Speaker 2: And if you need resources, if you.
30:28
Speaker 1: Need help, if you're wondering how to do it, I
30:30
Speaker 1: am here.
30:31
Speaker 2: Please check out my services. I mean at the loovedoft
30:33
Speaker 2: dot com. I help people work through their attachment anxiety,
30:37
Speaker 2: work through overcoming the pain of detaching from a hurtful
30:40
Speaker 2: or bad relationship. That is what I'm an expert in
30:42
Speaker 2: and I would just love to help you.
30:44
Speaker 1: Can you teach you know? I'm metacognition and ways to
30:47
Speaker 1: train your brain in terms of listening to.
30:51
Speaker 2: That inner voice. Yeah. I mean I teach people how
30:54
Speaker 2: to get to their intuition, yeah, and your thoughts absolutely,
30:58
Speaker 2: as well as regulate your nervous system into a deep
31:01
Speaker 2: sense of inner safety, which means that you can face
31:04
Speaker 2: the pain of detachment because it's then it's even if
31:07
Speaker 2: I am still going to be okay, I can still
31:09
Speaker 2: cope with it. And you know, I help people build
31:12
Speaker 2: their self trust. I help people learn to trust others
31:17
Speaker 2: and when and learn how to know when to not
31:19
Speaker 2: trust others, right, and so.
31:21
Speaker 1: I trusting your gut, yeah, and speaking a gut. We
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Speaker 1: want to thank our affiliate.
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Speaker 1: Thank you, Arma, Yes, thank you Arma. And I'm not
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Speaker 1: I'm seriously not blowing smoke. Since I've consistently drank Armor,
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Speaker 1: I haven't even had a cold, like, not even a cold.
32:27
Speaker 1: And it's been over a year normally, and it lasted
32:31
Speaker 1: three days.
32:32
Speaker 2: And when I had been to flu five years ago,
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Speaker 2: I was sick for six weeks.
32:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like we were able to bounce back
32:38
Speaker 1: really quick from vacation. Oh yeah, because you know we
32:41
Speaker 1: you know, we had some beers on the on the
32:42
Speaker 1: beach and stuff. So thanks harm we.
32:44
Speaker 2: Were champagne a whole or a whole jug of mimosa.
32:48
Speaker 2: I don't drink. And that's what people don't understand. It's like,
32:50
Speaker 2: I'm not a drink I don't You don't drink and
32:53
Speaker 2: but you know, I can suck a mamosa down like
32:55
Speaker 2: nobody else in it.
32:56
Speaker 1: Definitely listen, that vacation was it was, it was needed,
32:59
Speaker 1: and it is awesome and I would go back tomorrow
33:02
Speaker 1: if you wanted to.
33:03
Speaker 2: But anyway, Yeah, thank you all for listening.
33:05
Speaker 1: Thank you all so much for being here. As always,
33:08
Speaker 1: we are so grateful for each and every single one
33:10
Speaker 1: of you. Please write a review, send us an email.
33:16
Speaker 1: I think we need to do another coaching session.
33:18
Speaker 2: Yes, we would love to have you on if you
33:19
Speaker 2: would like.
33:20
Speaker 1: We've got a waiting session, but please reach out.
33:22
Speaker 2: Please reach out the Love Doc podcast at gmail dot
33:24
Speaker 2: com and we will pick somebody very soon to do
33:27
Speaker 2: a live coaching session with.
33:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think that that that at that episode
33:32
Speaker 1: that we did with Roseman was really it was. It
33:36
Speaker 1: impacted me, like I really went through my group.
33:38
Speaker 2: So she already had a lot of tools, but she
33:39
Speaker 2: was looking for just you know, some follow up confirmations
33:42
Speaker 2: on some things. And I think she got a lot
33:44
Speaker 2: out of it.
33:44
Speaker 1: I always learned something And when I sit in on
33:47
Speaker 1: a coaching session with you, I set in on group
33:49
Speaker 1: last night, you know, and I'll always learned something new.
33:52
Speaker 1: So please go check out doctor Hensley's services at the
33:55
Speaker 1: lovedoc dot com. And until next time, peace, love and
33:59
Speaker 1: perspective
34:02
Speaker 2: By