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E130: Navigating Life as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic with Jody Lamb · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  good
• 0:48
  morning
• 0:48
  everybody,
• 0:48
  and
• 0:49
  welcome
• 0:49
  back
• 0:49
  to
• 0:49
  another
• 0:50
  episode
• 0:50
  of
• 0:50
  Adult
• 0:50
  Child
• 0:51
  of
• 0:51
  Dysfunction.
• 0:52
  Today
• 0:52
  we
• 0:52
  have
• 0:53
  with
• 0:53
  us
• 0:53
  a
• 0:53
  very,
• 0:53
  very
• 0:54
  special
• 0:54
  guest
• 0:54
  because
• 0:55
  it's
• 0:55
  somebody
• 0:55
  that
• 0:55
  I've
• 0:56
  been
• 0:56
  following
• 0:56
  her
• 0:57
  work
• 0:57
  and
• 0:57
  her
• 0:57
  podcast
• 0:58
  or
• 0:58
  her,
• 0:59
  her
• 0:59
  blog
• 0:59
  and
• 1:00
  everything
• 1:00
  for
• 1:00
  years
• 1:01
  and
• 1:01
  years
• 1:01
  and
• 1:01
  years.
• 1:01
  But
• 1:02
  today
• 1:02
  we
• 1:02
  have
• 1:02
  with
• 1:02
  us
• 1:03
  Jody
• 1:03
  Lamb.
• 1:04
  She's
• 1:04
  a
• 1:04
  personal
• 1:04
  growth
• 1:05
  author
• 1:05
  dedicated
• 1:06
  to
• 1:06
  helping
• 1:06
  adult
• 1:07
  children
• 1:07
  of
• 1:07
  alcoholics
• 1:08
  heal
• 1:08
  from
• 1:09
  their
• 1:09
  past
• 1:09
  and
• 1:09
  create
• 1:10
  their
• 1:10
  dream
• 1:10
  lives.
• 1:11
  Her
• 1:11
  resilience
• 1:12
  and
• 1:12
  dedication
• 1:13
  stem
• 1:13
  from
• 1:13
  her
• 1:14
  own
• 1:14
  experiences
• 1:15
  of
• 1:15
  growing
• 1:15
  up
• 1:15
  with
• 1:15
  an
• 1:16
  alcoholic
• 1:16
  mother.
• 1:17
  Since
• 1:17
  2009,
• 1:18
  Jody
• 1:19
  has
• 1:19
  been
• 1:19
  sharing
• 1:19
  the
• 1:19
  insights
• 1:20
  with
• 1:20
  a
• 1:20
  global
• 1:21
  community
• 1:21
  of
• 1:21
  adult
• 1:22
  children
• 1:22
  of
• 1:22
  alcoholics.
• 1:23
  Her
• 1:24
  middle
• 1:24
  grade
• 1:24
  novel
• 1:25
  Easter
• 1:26
  and
• 1:26
  Peter's
• 1:27
  Operation
• 1:27
  Cool
• 1:28
  received
• 1:29
  forward
• 1:30
  many
• 1:30
  reviews.
• 1:30
  I
• 1:31
  can't
• 1:31
  read.
• 1:31
  I
• 1:31
  don't
• 1:31
  have
• 1:31
  my
• 1:31
  glasses
• 1:32
  on.
• 1:32
  In
• 1:32
  a
• 1:33
  2012
• 1:33
  book
• 1:34
  of
• 1:34
  the
• 1:34
  Year
• 1:34
  award
• 1:34
  for
• 1:35
  its
• 1:35
  realistic
• 1:36
  portrayal
• 1:36
  of
• 1:36
  parental
• 1:37
  alcoholism,
• 1:38
  on
• 1:38
  her
• 1:38
  website,
• 1:39
  Jody
• 1:39
  Lamb.com
• 1:40
  she
• 1:40
  offers
• 1:41
  simple
• 1:41
  strategies
• 1:41
  to
• 1:42
  overcome
• 1:42
  the
• 1:42
  challenges
• 1:43
  of
• 1:43
  being
• 1:43
  an
• 1:43
  adult
• 1:43
  child
• 1:44
  of
• 1:44
  an
• 1:44
  alcoholic
• 1:45
  and
• 1:45
  live
• 1:45
  a
• 1:45
  peaceful,
• 1:46
  fulfilling
• 1:47
  life.
• 1:48
  I'm
• 1:48
  just
• 1:48
  excited
• 1:49
  to
• 1:49
  have
• 1:49
  her
• 1:49
  here
• 1:49
  because
• 1:50
  literally,
• 1:50
  she
• 1:50
  was
• 1:51
  one
• 1:51
  of
• 1:51
  the
• 1:51
  very
• 1:51
  first
• 1:52
  people
• 1:52
  to
• 1:52
  come
• 1:52
  online
• 1:53
  and
• 1:53
  start
• 1:54
  talking
• 1:54
  about
• 1:55
  this
• 1:55
  life
• 1:55
  that
• 1:56
  so
• 1:56
  many
• 1:56
  of
• 1:56
  us
• 1:57
  have
• 1:57
  lived
• 1:57
  and
• 1:57
  so
• 1:58
  many
• 1:58
  of
• 1:58
  us
• 1:58
  have
• 1:58
  just
• 1:58
  stayed
• 1:59
  silent
• 2:00
  about.
• 2:00
  So
• 2:00
  welcome,
• 2:01
  Jody.
• 2:02
  Thank
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  so
• 2:03
  much,
• 2:03
  Tammy.
• 2:04
  Yeah.
• 2:05
  So
• 2:05
  tell
• 2:05
  us
• 2:05
  a
• 2:05
  little
• 2:06
  bit.
• 2:06
  I
• 2:06
  know
• 2:06
  you
• 2:06
  were,
• 2:07
  your
• 2:07
  mother
• 2:07
  was
• 2:08
  obviously
• 2:08
  an
• 2:08
  alcoholic,
• 2:09
  but
• 2:10
  tell
• 2:10
  us
• 2:10
  a
• 2:10
  little
• 2:10
  bit
• 2:10
  about
• 2:10
  your
• 2:11
  journey
• 2:11
  and
• 2:11
  how
• 2:12
  you
• 2:12
  felt
• 2:12
  the
• 2:12
  need
• 2:13
  to
• 2:13
  start
• 2:13
  advocating
• 2:14
  and
• 2:14
  really
• 2:14
  advocating
• 2:15
  for
• 2:15
  your
• 2:16
  past.
• 2:17
  Yeah,
• 2:18
  yeah.
• 2:19
  Well,
• 2:20
  like
• 2:20
  you,
• 2:21
  you
• 2:21
  know,
• 2:21
  I
• 2:22
  spent
• 2:22
  most
• 2:23
  of
• 2:23
  my
• 2:23
  adult
• 2:24
  life
• 2:24
  until
• 2:24
  I
• 2:24
  was
• 2:25
  26,
• 2:25
  very
• 2:26
  focused
• 2:26
  on
• 2:27
  my
• 2:27
  quest,
• 2:28
  my
• 2:28
  lifelong
• 2:29
  quest,
• 2:29
  to
• 2:30
  convince
• 2:31
  my
• 2:31
  mother
• 2:31
  to
• 2:32
  finally
• 2:32
  stop
• 2:32
  drinking.
• 2:33
  And
• 2:34
  her
• 2:34
  drinking
• 2:35
  had
• 2:36
  affected
• 2:36
  me
• 2:36
  tremendously
• 2:37
  growing
• 2:37
  up.
• 2:38
  And
• 2:38
  as
• 2:39
  her
• 2:39
  disease
• 2:40
  progressed
• 2:41
  into
• 2:41
  my
• 2:41
  teenage
• 2:42
  years
• 2:42
  and
• 2:43
  early
• 2:43
  adult
• 2:43
  years,
• 2:44
  I
• 2:44
  was
• 2:44
  just
• 2:45
  so
• 2:45
  determined,
• 2:46
  you
• 2:46
  know,
• 2:46
  as
• 2:47
  the
• 2:47
  eldest
• 2:47
  daughter
• 2:48
  of
• 2:48
  two,
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  be
• 2:49
  the
• 2:49
  one
• 2:50
  to,
• 2:50
  to,
• 2:50
  to
• 2:50
  make
• 2:51
  her
• 2:51
  finally
• 2:52
  accept
• 2:52
  help
• 2:53
  and
• 2:53
  we
• 2:54
  could
• 2:54
  all
• 2:54
  live
• 2:54
  happily
• 2:55
  ever
• 2:55
  after.
• 2:55
  That's
• 2:56
  what
• 2:56
  I
• 2:56
  thought.
• 2:56
  If
• 2:57
  she,
• 2:57
  she
• 2:57
  stopped
• 2:58
  drinking,
• 2:58
  the
• 2:58
  chaos
• 2:59
  would
• 2:59
  stop
• 3:00
  and
• 3:00
  my
• 3:00
  father,
• 3:01
  my
• 3:01
  sister
• 3:01
  and
• 3:01
  I
• 3:02
  could,
• 3:02
  could
• 3:03
  live
• 3:03
  our
• 3:03
  own
• 3:03
  life
• 3:04
  because
• 3:05
  as
• 3:05
  is
• 3:06
  often
• 3:06
  the
• 3:06
  case,
• 3:07
  we
• 3:07
  really
• 3:07
  didn't
• 3:08
  have
• 3:08
  our
• 3:08
  own
• 3:09
  lives.
• 3:09
  We
• 3:09
  had
• 3:09
  sort
• 3:10
  of
• 3:10
  one
• 3:10
  big
• 3:11
  chaotic
• 3:12
  life
• 3:12
  that
• 3:12
  revolved
• 3:13
  around
• 3:13
  my
• 3:13
  mother's
• 3:14
  drinking.
• 3:15
  And,
• 3:16
  you
• 3:16
  know,
• 3:16
  after
• 3:17
  doing
• 3:17
  everything
• 3:17
  I
• 3:18
  could
• 3:18
  think
• 3:18
  to
• 3:18
  do
• 3:19
  to
• 3:19
  help
• 3:20
  her
• 3:20
  at
• 3:21
  26,
• 3:21
  I
• 3:22
  finally
• 3:22
  hit
• 3:23
  my
• 3:23
  own
• 3:23
  rock
• 3:24
  bottom.
• 3:24
  I
• 3:24
  was
• 3:25
  exhausted,
• 3:26
  I
• 3:26
  was
• 3:27
  deeply
• 3:27
  depressed.
• 3:28
  I
• 3:29
  dreaded
• 3:29
  every
• 3:30
  day.
• 3:30
  And
• 3:31
  I
• 3:31
  thought,
• 3:31
  I'm
• 3:32
  not
• 3:32
  sure
• 3:32
  I
• 3:32
  will
• 3:32
  survive
• 3:33
  this
• 3:34
  the
• 3:34
  way
• 3:34
  that
• 3:34
  it
• 3:34
  feels.
• 3:35
  I,
• 3:35
  I
• 3:36
  thought
• 3:36
  somehow
• 3:37
  some
• 3:37
  way
• 3:38
  it
• 3:38
  was
• 3:38
  going
• 3:38
  to
• 3:38
  take
• 3:38
  my
• 3:39
  life.
• 3:39
  And
• 3:40
  so
• 3:40
  it
• 3:40
  was
• 3:40
  this
• 3:40
  desperation
• 3:41
  point.
• 3:42
  I
• 3:42
  finally
• 3:43
  went
• 3:43
  to
• 3:43
  an
• 3:44
  Al
• 3:44
  Anon
• 3:44
  meeting,
• 3:45
  and
• 3:45
  I
• 3:45
  went
• 3:45
  there
• 3:46
  still
• 3:46
  desperate
• 3:47
  for
• 3:47
  the
• 3:48
  solution
• 3:49
  to
• 3:49
  the
• 3:49
  drinking.
• 3:50
  And
• 3:51
  it
• 3:51
  was
• 3:51
  there
• 3:51
  when
• 3:51
  I
• 3:52
  heard
• 3:52
  those
• 3:53
  fellow
• 3:54
  participants
• 3:55
  sharing
• 3:55
  their
• 3:55
  story
• 3:56
  that
• 3:56
  I
• 3:56
  thought,
• 3:57
  that's.
• 3:58
  That's
• 3:58
  my
• 3:58
  story.
• 3:59
  That's
• 3:59
  how
• 3:59
  I
• 4:00
  felt.
• 4:00
  And
• 4:01
  it
• 4:01
  was
• 4:01
  in
• 4:02
  that
• 4:02
  I
• 4:03
  had
• 4:03
  this
• 4:03
  true
• 4:03
  aha.
• 4:04
  That
• 4:04
  I
• 4:05
  was
• 4:05
  ill.
• 4:05
  I
• 4:05
  was
• 4:06
  very
• 4:06
  ill.
• 4:07
  And
• 4:07
  that
• 4:08
  it
• 4:08
  was
• 4:08
  my
• 4:09
  time
• 4:09
  to
• 4:10
  stop
• 4:10
  obsessing
• 4:11
  over
• 4:12
  my
• 4:12
  mother's
• 4:12
  drinking
• 4:13
  and
• 4:13
  focus
• 4:13
  on
• 4:13
  taking
• 4:14
  good
• 4:14
  care
• 4:14
  of
• 4:14
  me.
• 4:15
  And
• 4:15
  that
• 4:15
  was
• 4:16
  15
• 4:16
  years
• 4:16
  ago.
• 4:17
  That
• 4:17
  was
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  start
• 4:18
  of
• 4:18
  my.
• 4:18
  My
• 4:18
  journey.
• 4:19
  And
• 4:20
  I'm
• 4:21
  so
• 4:21
  thrilled
• 4:22
  to
• 4:22
  report
• 4:22
  that
• 4:23
  after
• 4:23
  a
• 4:23
  lot
• 4:23
  of
• 4:24
  focus
• 4:24
  on
• 4:24
  me
• 4:25
  and
• 4:25
  therapy,
• 4:26
  self
• 4:26
  care,
• 4:27
  education,
• 4:28
  that
• 4:28
  I
• 4:29
  truly
• 4:29
  love
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  life
• 4:30
  that
• 4:30
  I
• 4:31
  have
• 4:31
  today
• 4:31
  and
• 4:32
  back
• 4:32
  at
• 4:33
  26
• 4:33
  years
• 4:34
  old
• 4:34
  at
• 4:34
  that
• 4:34
  Al
• 4:34
  Anon
• 4:35
  meeting,
• 4:35
  while
• 4:35
  walking
• 4:36
  down
• 4:36
  the
• 4:36
  steps
• 4:37
  into
• 4:37
  that
• 4:37
  meeting,
• 4:38
  I
• 4:38
  couldn't
• 4:38
  have
• 4:38
  imagined
• 4:39
  it.
• 4:39
  And
• 4:40
  so
• 4:40
  I
• 4:40
  feel
• 4:40
  very
• 4:41
  compelled
• 4:42
  to
• 4:42
  share
• 4:42
  my
• 4:43
  story,
• 4:43
  to
• 4:44
  help
• 4:44
  others
• 4:45
  learn
• 4:46
  from
• 4:46
  what
• 4:46
  I've
• 4:47
  learned
• 4:47
  and
• 4:47
  to
• 4:48
  kind
• 4:48
  of
• 4:48
  continue
• 4:48
  that
• 4:49
  conversation
• 4:49
  just
• 4:49
  as
• 4:50
  you're
• 4:50
  doing.
• 4:50
  And
• 4:51
  it's
• 4:51
  been
• 4:51
  very
• 4:51
  inspiring
• 4:52
  to
• 4:53
  hear
• 4:53
  from.
• 4:53
  From
• 4:54
  so
• 4:54
  many
• 4:54
  others
• 4:54
  who
• 4:54
  share
• 4:55
  our
• 4:56
  story.
• 4:57
  Oh,
• 4:57
  yeah,
• 4:58
  I
• 4:58
  can't
• 4:58
  even
• 4:58
  imagine.
• 4:59
  I
• 4:59
  mean,
• 4:59
  I
• 4:59
  can
• 4:59
  imagine
• 5:00
  because
• 5:00
  that's
• 5:00
  why
• 5:00
  I
• 5:00
  do
• 5:01
  what
• 5:01
  I
• 5:01
  do.
• 5:01
  It's
• 5:02
  funny
• 5:02
  that
• 5:02
  you
• 5:02
  said
• 5:02
  26
• 5:03
  was
• 5:03
  your
• 5:04
  aha
• 5:04
  moment,
• 5:04
  because
• 5:05
  that
• 5:05
  was
• 5:05
  my
• 5:05
  aha
• 5:06
  moment.
• 5:06
  I
• 5:07
  had
• 5:07
  been
• 5:07
  through
• 5:07
  all
• 5:08
  of.
• 5:08
  Yeah,
• 5:08
  it
• 5:08
  was
• 5:08
  very
• 5:08
  interesting.
• 5:09
  I
• 5:09
  was
• 5:09
  actually
• 5:09
  getting
• 5:10
  ready
• 5:10
  to
• 5:10
  have
• 5:10
  my
• 5:10
  first
• 5:10
  child.
• 5:11
  And
• 5:12
  I
• 5:12
  don't
• 5:12
  know
• 5:12
  if
• 5:12
  you
• 5:12
  have
• 5:13
  children,
• 5:13
  but
• 5:13
  if
• 5:13
  you.
• 5:13
  Have
• 5:14
  you
• 5:14
  ever
• 5:14
  read
• 5:14
  the
• 5:14
  book
• 5:14
  love
• 5:15
  you
• 5:15
  forever?
• 5:16
  No,
• 5:17
  but
• 5:17
  I've
• 5:17
  heard
• 5:17
  of
• 5:18
  it.
• 5:18
  Okay,
• 5:19
  so
• 5:19
  for
• 5:19
  those
• 5:19
  of
• 5:19
  you,
• 5:20
  you
• 5:20
  that
• 5:20
  have
• 5:21
  listened
• 5:21
  to
• 5:21
  other
• 5:21
  episodes,
• 5:22
  you've
• 5:22
  probably
• 5:22
  heard
• 5:22
  me
• 5:22
  mention
• 5:23
  this,
• 5:23
  but
• 5:23
  it's
• 5:23
  a
• 5:24
  book
• 5:24
  about.
• 5:25
  It's
• 5:25
  a
• 5:25
  children's
• 5:25
  book,
• 5:26
  but
• 5:26
  it's
• 5:26
  about
• 5:26
  a
• 5:26
  mother's
• 5:26
  unconditional
• 5:27
  love
• 5:28
  for
• 5:28
  her
• 5:28
  son.
• 5:29
  So
• 5:30
  she's
• 5:30
  pregnant
• 5:30
  and
• 5:30
  she's
• 5:31
  rocking
• 5:31
  back
• 5:31
  and
• 5:31
  forth
• 5:32
  in
• 5:32
  the
• 5:32
  rocking
• 5:33
  chair
• 5:33
  and
• 5:33
  she's
• 5:33
  singing,
• 5:34
  I
• 5:34
  love
• 5:34
  you
• 5:34
  forever.
• 5:34
  I
• 5:35
  like
• 5:35
  you
• 5:35
  for
• 5:35
  always,
• 5:35
  Forever
• 5:36
  and
• 5:36
  ever
• 5:36
  My
• 5:36
  baby
• 5:37
  you'll
• 5:37
  be.
• 5:37
  And
• 5:38
  it
• 5:38
  goes
• 5:38
  through
• 5:38
  all
• 5:38
  these
• 5:39
  stages
• 5:39
  where
• 5:39
  he's.
• 5:39
  Terrible
• 5:40
  twos,
• 5:40
  you
• 5:41
  know,
• 5:41
  being
• 5:41
  a
• 5:41
  bratty
• 5:41
  teenager
• 5:42
  doing
• 5:42
  all
• 5:42
  this
• 5:43
  stuff,
• 5:43
  getting
• 5:43
  grown,
• 5:44
  moving
• 5:44
  out.
• 5:45
  At
• 5:45
  the
• 5:45
  end
• 5:45
  of
• 5:45
  the
• 5:46
  book,
• 5:46
  the
• 5:46
  tables
• 5:47
  are
• 5:47
  turned
• 5:47
  and
• 5:48
  she's
• 5:48
  now
• 5:48
  weak
• 5:49
  and
• 5:49
  frail
• 5:49
  and
• 5:50
  old.
• 5:50
  And
• 5:50
  he's
• 5:51
  rocking
• 5:51
  her,
• 5:52
  singing
• 5:53
  the
• 5:53
  same
• 5:53
  song,
• 5:53
  but
• 5:54
  singing,
• 5:54
  my
• 5:54
  mommy
• 5:54
  you'll
• 5:55
  be.
• 5:55
  And
• 5:56
  I
• 5:56
  was
• 5:56
  pregnant
• 5:56
  with
• 5:57
  my
• 5:57
  first
• 5:57
  child
• 5:58
  reading
• 5:59
  that
• 5:59
  book.
• 5:59
  And
• 5:59
  it
• 6:00
  should
• 6:00
  have
• 6:00
  been
• 6:00
  like
• 6:00
  this
• 6:00
  really
• 6:01
  serendipitous,
• 6:02
  like,
• 6:02
  happy
• 6:02
  moment.
• 6:03
  And
• 6:04
  I
• 6:04
  totally
• 6:04
  broke
• 6:04
  down
• 6:05
  because
• 6:05
  I
• 6:05
  was
• 6:05
  like,
• 6:06
  I
• 6:06
  don't
• 6:06
  even
• 6:06
  have
• 6:06
  a
• 6:06
  memory
• 6:07
  of
• 6:07
  hugging
• 6:07
  my
• 6:08
  mother.
• 6:08
  Like,
• 6:08
  I
• 6:09
  don't
• 6:09
  even
• 6:09
  know
• 6:09
  what
• 6:09
  unconditional
• 6:10
  love
• 6:10
  feels
• 6:11
  like.
• 6:11
  And
• 6:11
  that
• 6:11
  was
• 6:11
  my
• 6:12
  aha
• 6:12
  moment.
• 6:12
  And
• 6:12
  I
• 6:13
  thought,
• 6:14
  obviously,
• 6:15
  the
• 6:15
  answer
• 6:15
  can't
• 6:16
  be
• 6:16
  just
• 6:16
  doing
• 6:16
  the
• 6:17
  exact
• 6:17
  opposite
• 6:18
  of
• 6:18
  what
• 6:19
  I
• 6:19
  saw.
• 6:20
  That
• 6:20
  can't
• 6:20
  be
• 6:20
  just
• 6:20
  the
• 6:21
  answer.
• 6:21
  So
• 6:21
  that's
• 6:22
  when
• 6:22
  that
• 6:22
  was
• 6:22
  my
• 6:22
  aha
• 6:23
  moment
• 6:23
  at
• 6:23
  exactly
• 6:24
  26
• 6:25
  years
• 6:25
  old.
• 6:26
  So,
• 6:26
  I
• 6:27
  mean,
• 6:27
  God
• 6:27
  bless
• 6:28
  it
• 6:28
  that
• 6:28
  we
• 6:28
  got
• 6:29
  it
• 6:29
  that
• 6:29
  early,
• 6:29
  because
• 6:30
  some
• 6:30
  people
• 6:30
  are
• 6:30
  in
• 6:31
  their
• 6:31
  50s
• 6:32
  and
• 6:32
  60s
• 6:32
  going,
• 6:33
  life's
• 6:34
  just
• 6:34
  not
• 6:34
  quite
• 6:35
  right.
• 6:35
  And
• 6:35
  I
• 6:35
  can't
• 6:36
  put
• 6:36
  my
• 6:36
  finger
• 6:36
  on
• 6:37
  it.
• 6:38
  Well,
• 6:39
  I'm
• 6:39
  so
• 6:39
  grateful
• 6:40
  that
• 6:40
  that
• 6:40
  book
• 6:41
  inspired
• 6:41
  you.
• 6:41
  The
• 6:42
  books
• 6:42
  are
• 6:42
  very
• 6:43
  powerful.
• 6:44
  Absolutely.
• 6:45
  So.
• 6:46
  So
• 6:46
  tell
• 6:46
  us.
• 6:47
  So
• 6:47
  the
• 6:47
  work
• 6:47
  you
• 6:47
  do
• 6:48
  is.
• 6:48
  I
• 6:48
  mean,
• 6:48
  you
• 6:49
  write,
• 6:49
  you
• 6:49
  have
• 6:49
  a
• 6:49
  blog,
• 6:50
  you
• 6:50
  do
• 6:50
  all
• 6:50
  kinds
• 6:50
  of
• 6:51
  stuff.
• 6:51
  But
• 6:53
  what.
• 6:54
  Okay,
• 6:54
  so
• 6:54
  in
• 6:54
  Al
• 6:54
  Anon.
• 6:55
  I
• 6:55
  know
• 6:55
  I
• 6:55
  went
• 6:56
  to
• 6:56
  Al
• 6:56
  Anon
• 6:56
  for
• 6:56
  many,
• 6:57
  many
• 6:57
  years.
• 6:57
  Did
• 6:58
  you.
• 6:58
  Did
• 6:58
  you
• 6:59
  kind
• 6:59
  of
• 6:59
  move
• 7:00
  out
• 7:00
  of
• 7:00
  Al
• 7:00
  Anon
• 7:01
  to
• 7:01
  go
• 7:01
  to
• 7:01
  anything
• 7:01
  else,
• 7:02
  or
• 7:02
  was
• 7:02
  that
• 7:02
  your
• 7:02
  answer?
• 7:02
  Did
• 7:03
  you,
• 7:03
  like,
• 7:03
  move
• 7:03
  to
• 7:03
  adult
• 7:04
  children
• 7:04
  of
• 7:04
  alcoholics
• 7:05
  after
• 7:06
  Al
• 7:06
  Anon?
• 7:08
  Yeah,
• 7:08
  when
• 7:08
  I.
• 7:09
  So
• 7:09
  at
• 7:09
  that
• 7:09
  point,
• 7:10
  when
• 7:10
  I
• 7:10
  started
• 7:10
  my
• 7:11
  journey,
• 7:11
  it
• 7:11
  began
• 7:12
  with
• 7:12
  Al
• 7:12
  Anon,
• 7:13
  and
• 7:13
  hearing
• 7:13
  those
• 7:14
  stories
• 7:15
  at
• 7:15
  the
• 7:15
  meetings
• 7:16
  kind
• 7:16
  of
• 7:16
  helped
• 7:17
  set
• 7:18
  my
• 7:18
  path.
• 7:19
  So
• 7:19
  I
• 7:19
  was.
• 7:20
  I
• 7:20
  was
• 7:20
  desperate
• 7:21
  at
• 7:21
  that
• 7:21
  point
• 7:21
  for
• 7:22
  kind
• 7:22
  of
• 7:22
  a
• 7:22
  playbook.
• 7:23
  And
• 7:23
  you
• 7:23
  probably
• 7:23
  felt
• 7:24
  that
• 7:24
  way
• 7:24
  at
• 7:24
  26,
• 7:25
  when
• 7:25
  you
• 7:25
  were
• 7:25
  about
• 7:25
  to
• 7:26
  have
• 7:26
  a
• 7:26
  child.
• 7:26
  You
• 7:26
  know,
• 7:27
  what
• 7:27
  do
• 7:27
  I
• 7:27
  do?
• 7:27
  I
• 7:28
  recognize
• 7:28
  now
• 7:29
  that
• 7:29
  I've
• 7:29
  been
• 7:30
  so
• 7:30
  deeply
• 7:30
  affected.
• 7:31
  What
• 7:32
  do
• 7:32
  I
• 7:32
  do?
• 7:32
  Well,
• 7:33
  I
• 7:33
  know
• 7:33
  no
• 7:33
  playbook
• 7:34
  existed,
• 7:35
  so
• 7:35
  what
• 7:35
  I
• 7:35
  thought
• 7:36
  is
• 7:36
  I
• 7:36
  could
• 7:37
  get
• 7:37
  more
• 7:37
  educated.
• 7:38
  And
• 7:39
  so
• 7:39
  I
• 7:39
  started
• 7:39
  reading
• 7:40
  more
• 7:40
  about
• 7:40
  the
• 7:41
  science
• 7:41
  of
• 7:41
  addiction
• 7:42
  and
• 7:42
  truly
• 7:43
  understanding
• 7:43
  what
• 7:44
  had
• 7:44
  happened
• 7:45
  to
• 7:45
  my
• 7:46
  family.
• 7:46
  What
• 7:47
  my
• 7:47
  mother,
• 7:47
  you
• 7:48
  know,
• 7:48
  was.
• 7:48
  Was
• 7:49
  deeply
• 7:49
  addicted
• 7:50
  to
• 7:50
  alcohol.
• 7:51
  And
• 7:51
  up
• 7:51
  until
• 7:51
  that
• 7:52
  point,
• 7:52
  I
• 7:52
  did
• 7:52
  not
• 7:53
  understand
• 7:54
  the
• 7:54
  true
• 7:55
  science
• 7:55
  of
• 7:55
  addiction.
• 7:55
  I
• 7:56
  thought
• 7:56
  there
• 7:56
  was
• 7:56
  a
• 7:56
  lot
• 7:56
  more
• 7:56
  decision
• 7:57
  making
• 7:57
  that
• 7:57
  she
• 7:58
  was
• 7:58
  making.
• 7:59
  And
• 8:00
  so
• 8:00
  that
• 8:00
  that
• 8:01
  emphasis
• 8:02
  on
• 8:02
  education
• 8:03
  really
• 8:03
  opened
• 8:04
  my
• 8:04
  eyes
• 8:04
  to
• 8:04
  realize
• 8:05
  that
• 8:05
  I
• 8:06
  was.
• 8:06
  I
• 8:06
  had
• 8:06
  a
• 8:07
  completely
• 8:07
  normal
• 8:08
  reaction
• 8:09
  to
• 8:09
  everything
• 8:10
  that
• 8:10
  had
• 8:10
  happened.
• 8:11
  And
• 8:12
  it
• 8:12
  was
• 8:12
  also
• 8:13
  very
• 8:13
  bittersweet
• 8:14
  to
• 8:14
  discover
• 8:14
  just
• 8:15
  how
• 8:15
  common
• 8:16
  it
• 8:16
  is.
• 8:18
  Up
• 8:18
  until
• 8:18
  that
• 8:19
  point,
• 8:19
  I
• 8:19
  felt
• 8:19
  very
• 8:20
  alone,
• 8:20
  and
• 8:21
  it
• 8:21
  was
• 8:21
  such
• 8:21
  a
• 8:21
  secret,
• 8:23
  and
• 8:23
  no
• 8:23
  one
• 8:24
  at
• 8:24
  school
• 8:24
  or
• 8:25
  in
• 8:25
  my
• 8:26
  world
• 8:27
  talked
• 8:27
  about
• 8:27
  it.
• 8:28
  So
• 8:28
  I
• 8:28
  felt
• 8:28
  very
• 8:29
  alone.
• 8:29
  And
• 8:30
  so
• 8:30
  it
• 8:30
  was
• 8:30
  a
• 8:30
  very
• 8:30
  bittersweet
• 8:31
  feeling
• 8:31
  to
• 8:31
  think
• 8:32
  there
• 8:32
  are
• 8:33
  so
• 8:33
  many
• 8:33
  other
• 8:33
  people
• 8:33
  who
• 8:34
  have
• 8:35
  experienced
• 8:35
  this,
• 8:36
  so
• 8:36
  I'm
• 8:36
  not
• 8:36
  alone.
• 8:37
  But
• 8:37
  also
• 8:37
  there
• 8:38
  are
• 8:38
  so
• 8:38
  many
• 8:38
  people
• 8:39
  who've
• 8:39
  experienced
• 8:39
  this.
• 8:40
  And
• 8:40
  that
• 8:40
  was
• 8:40
  very
• 8:41
  hard
• 8:42
  to
• 8:42
  recognize
• 8:43
  because
• 8:43
  I
• 8:44
  knew
• 8:44
  how
• 8:44
  painful
• 8:45
  that.
• 8:45
  That
• 8:46
  it
• 8:46
  was.
• 8:47
  So
• 8:47
  I
• 8:47
  kept
• 8:47
  going
• 8:47
  to
• 8:48
  the
• 8:48
  Al
• 8:48
  Anon
• 8:48
  meetings.
• 8:49
  I
• 8:49
  did
• 8:49
  go
• 8:49
  to
• 8:50
  adult
• 8:50
  children
• 8:51
  of
• 8:51
  dysfunction
• 8:52
  a
• 8:52
  bit,
• 8:52
  too.
• 8:52
  I
• 8:53
  spent
• 8:53
  a
• 8:53
  lot
• 8:53
  of
• 8:53
  time
• 8:54
  for
• 8:54
  about
• 8:54
  three
• 8:54
  or
• 8:54
  four
• 8:55
  years
• 8:55
  in
• 8:56
  both
• 8:56
  groups.
• 8:57
  And,
• 8:58
  you
• 8:58
  know,
• 8:59
  as
• 8:59
  you
• 8:59
  probably
• 8:59
  have
• 9:00
  shared
• 9:00
  with
• 9:00
  others,
• 9:01
  sometimes
• 9:01
  you
• 9:01
  have
• 9:02
  to
• 9:02
  go
• 9:03
  to
• 9:03
  a
• 9:03
  few
• 9:03
  different
• 9:03
  meetings
• 9:04
  to
• 9:04
  find
• 9:05
  one
• 9:05
  that
• 9:05
  fits
• 9:05
  your
• 9:06
  style.
• 9:06
  They
• 9:06
  all
• 9:06
  have
• 9:06
  a
• 9:06
  different
• 9:07
  vibe
• 9:07
  or
• 9:08
  a
• 9:08
  different
• 9:08
  focus.
• 9:09
  And
• 9:09
  so
• 9:10
  that
• 9:10
  was
• 9:10
  very
• 9:10
  helpful.
• 9:11
  And
• 9:11
  then
• 9:12
  around
• 9:12
  that
• 9:12
  time,
• 9:13
  I
• 9:13
  started
• 9:14
  therapy
• 9:15
  and
• 9:16
  found
• 9:16
  a
• 9:16
  few
• 9:17
  who,
• 9:18
  you
• 9:18
  know,
• 9:18
  had
• 9:19
  acoa
• 9:19
  or
• 9:20
  adult
• 9:20
  children
• 9:20
  of
• 9:21
  alcoholics
• 9:21
  syndrome
• 9:22
  and
• 9:22
  dysfunctional
• 9:23
  family
• 9:23
  background.
• 9:24
  But,
• 9:24
  you
• 9:24
  know,
• 9:25
  they.
• 9:25
  They
• 9:25
  didn't
• 9:26
  really
• 9:26
  connect
• 9:27
  with
• 9:28
  me.
• 9:28
  I
• 9:28
  found
• 9:28
  that
• 9:28
  they
• 9:29
  didn't
• 9:29
  have
• 9:30
  the
• 9:31
  true
• 9:31
  understanding
• 9:32
  of
• 9:32
  what
• 9:32
  I'd
• 9:33
  gone
• 9:33
  through.
• 9:33
  So
• 9:33
  it
• 9:34
  took
• 9:34
  me
• 9:34
  a
• 9:34
  few
• 9:34
  different
• 9:35
  therapists.
• 9:36
  I
• 9:36
  view
• 9:36
  it
• 9:36
  kind
• 9:36
  of
• 9:37
  like
• 9:37
  dating,
• 9:37
  where
• 9:38
  you
• 9:38
  have
• 9:38
  to
• 9:38
  spend
• 9:39
  time
• 9:39
  with
• 9:40
  different
• 9:40
  therapists
• 9:41
  to
• 9:41
  really
• 9:42
  find
• 9:42
  one
• 9:42
  who
• 9:43
  fits
• 9:43
  you
• 9:43
  at
• 9:44
  that
• 9:44
  moment.
• 9:44
  And
• 9:45
  so,
• 9:45
  you
• 9:45
  know,
• 9:45
  after
• 9:46
  a
• 9:46
  few
• 9:46
  years,
• 9:46
  I
• 9:47
  found
• 9:47
  a
• 9:47
  therapist
• 9:47
  who
• 9:48
  really
• 9:48
  clicked
• 9:48
  well
• 9:48
  with
• 9:49
  me,
• 9:49
  who
• 9:49
  had
• 9:49
  grown
• 9:50
  up
• 9:50
  with
• 9:51
  an
• 9:51
  alcoholic
• 9:51
  father
• 9:52
  and
• 9:52
  had.
• 9:53
  Was
• 9:53
  an
• 9:53
  alcoholic
• 9:53
  in
• 9:54
  recovery
• 9:54
  himself.
• 9:55
  So
• 9:55
  he
• 9:56
  got
• 9:56
  me
• 9:57
  immediately
• 9:57
  and
• 9:58
  kind
• 9:58
  of
• 9:58
  set
• 9:58
  me
• 9:59
  on
• 9:59
  the
• 9:59
  path,
• 10:00
  asking
• 10:00
  me
• 10:00
  questions
• 10:01
  very
• 10:01
  directly
• 10:02
  that
• 10:02
  helped
• 10:02
  open
• 10:02
  my
• 10:03
  eyes
• 10:03
  to
• 10:04
  what
• 10:04
  I
• 10:04
  needed
• 10:04
  to
• 10:05
  do.
• 10:05
  And
• 10:06
  around
• 10:07
  that
• 10:07
  time,
• 10:07
  with
• 10:07
  the
• 10:08
  therapy
• 10:08
  and
• 10:08
  education,
• 10:09
  I
• 10:09
  started
• 10:10
  truly
• 10:10
  understanding
• 10:12
  what
• 10:12
  self
• 10:12
  care
• 10:13
  was
• 10:13
  because
• 10:14
  I
• 10:14
  didn't
• 10:14
  know
• 10:14
  what
• 10:14
  it
• 10:14
  meant
• 10:15
  to
• 10:15
  take
• 10:15
  good
• 10:15
  care
• 10:15
  of
• 10:16
  myself
• 10:16
  because
• 10:16
  I'd
• 10:16
  never
• 10:17
  done
• 10:17
  it
• 10:17
  before.
• 10:18
  And
• 10:18
  I
• 10:18
  started
• 10:18
  doing
• 10:19
  things
• 10:19
  that
• 10:19
  as
• 10:20
  a
• 10:20
  child,
• 10:20
  I
• 10:20
  loved
• 10:21
  to
• 10:21
  do
• 10:22
  and
• 10:22
  kind
• 10:23
  of
• 10:23
  being
• 10:23
  free
• 10:23
  for
• 10:24
  the
• 10:24
  first
• 10:24
  time.
• 10:24
  And
• 10:25
  that's
• 10:25
  when
• 10:25
  things
• 10:26
  really
• 10:26
  started
• 10:26
  to
• 10:27
  change
• 10:27
  for
• 10:28
  me
• 10:28
  and
• 10:30
  led
• 10:30
  me
• 10:30
  to
• 10:31
  where
• 10:31
  I
• 10:31
  am
• 10:31
  today.
• 10:32
  Awesome.
• 10:33
  So
• 10:33
  did
• 10:34
  you.
• 10:34
  And
• 10:34
  I
• 10:34
  don't
• 10:35
  know
• 10:35
  if
• 10:35
  I
• 10:35
  get
• 10:36
  go
• 10:36
  anywhere.
• 10:36
  We
• 10:37
  didn't
• 10:37
  talk
• 10:37
  about
• 10:37
  this
• 10:37
  before.
• 10:37
  Usually
• 10:38
  I
• 10:38
  say,
• 10:38
  is
• 10:38
  there
• 10:38
  anywhere
• 10:39
  you
• 10:39
  don't
• 10:39
  want
• 10:39
  me
• 10:39
  to
• 10:40
  go
• 10:40
  or
• 10:40
  talk
• 10:40
  about
• 10:41
  or.
• 10:42
  And
• 10:42
  if
• 10:42
  I
• 10:42
  do
• 10:42
  just
• 10:43
  kind
• 10:43
  of
• 10:43
  nod
• 10:43
  or
• 10:43
  say,
• 10:44
  stop,
• 10:44
  you
• 10:44
  know,
• 10:44
  good
• 10:45
  enough.
• 10:45
  But
• 10:46
  is
• 10:46
  you.
• 10:46
  Let's
• 10:47
  let
• 10:47
  me
• 10:47
  ask
• 10:47
  this
• 10:47
  first.
• 10:47
  Do
• 10:48
  you
• 10:48
  still
• 10:48
  have
• 10:48
  a
• 10:48
  good
• 10:49
  relationship
• 10:49
  with
• 10:49
  your
• 10:49
  parents?
• 10:51
  Well,
• 10:51
  it's
• 10:51
  so
• 10:52
  fascinating,
• 10:53
  Tammy.
• 10:54
  I
• 10:54
  at
• 10:55
  one
• 10:55
  time
• 10:55
  thought
• 10:56
  that
• 10:56
  I
• 10:56
  could
• 10:56
  never
• 10:57
  have
• 10:57
  a
• 10:57
  good
• 10:57
  relationship
• 10:58
  with
• 10:58
  my
• 10:59
  mother,
• 11:00
  but
• 11:00
  I
• 11:00
  would
• 11:01
  say
• 11:01
  today
• 11:01
  it's
• 11:02
  good.
• 11:03
  We
• 11:03
  got
• 11:04
  into
• 11:04
  a
• 11:04
  very
• 11:05
  healthy
• 11:05
  spot
• 11:06
  for
• 11:07
  one
• 11:07
  reason
• 11:07
  alone,
• 11:08
  and
• 11:08
  that
• 11:08
  is
• 11:09
  boundaries.
• 11:10
  Because
• 11:11
  I
• 11:11
  had
• 11:11
  to
• 11:12
  set
• 11:12
  very
• 11:13
  firm
• 11:13
  boundaries
• 11:14
  with
• 11:14
  her,
• 11:15
  I'd
• 11:15
  stick
• 11:16
  to
• 11:16
  them.
• 11:16
  And
• 11:16
  that
• 11:17
  was
• 11:17
  one
• 11:17
  of
• 11:17
  the
• 11:17
  hardest
• 11:18
  things
• 11:18
  I've
• 11:18
  ever
• 11:19
  done
• 11:19
  in
• 11:19
  my
• 11:19
  entire
• 11:19
  life.
• 11:20
  And
• 11:21
  for
• 11:21
  that
• 11:21
  reason,
• 11:22
  we've
• 11:23
  been
• 11:23
  able
• 11:23
  to
• 11:24
  kind
• 11:24
  of
• 11:24
  grow
• 11:24
  this
• 11:25
  relationship.
• 11:25
  So
• 11:25
  we
• 11:26
  talk
• 11:26
  about
• 11:26
  once
• 11:26
  a
• 11:26
  week.
• 11:27
  We
• 11:28
  spend
• 11:28
  time
• 11:28
  as
• 11:29
  a
• 11:29
  family
• 11:29
  at
• 11:29
  holidays,
• 11:30
  and
• 11:30
  occasionally,
• 11:32
  you
• 11:32
  know,
• 11:32
  get
• 11:32
  together.
• 11:33
  She
• 11:33
  still
• 11:34
  is
• 11:35
  Active.
• 11:35
  And
• 11:36
  she
• 11:36
  still
• 11:36
  suffers
• 11:37
  from
• 11:37
  her
• 11:37
  substance
• 11:37
  use
• 11:38
  disorder,
• 11:38
  but
• 11:38
  she's
• 11:39
  in
• 11:39
  a
• 11:39
  much
• 11:39
  better
• 11:39
  spot
• 11:40
  than
• 11:40
  I
• 11:40
  really
• 11:41
  ever
• 11:41
  could
• 11:41
  have
• 11:41
  imagined.
• 11:42
  My
• 11:43
  father
• 11:43
  passed
• 11:43
  away
• 11:43
  about
• 11:44
  10
• 11:44
  years
• 11:44
  ago,
• 11:46
  and
• 11:46
  I
• 11:47
  didn't.
• 11:47
  At
• 11:47
  that
• 11:48
  time,
• 11:48
  when
• 11:48
  he
• 11:48
  passed
• 11:48
  away,
• 11:49
  I.
• 11:49
  I
• 11:49
  didn't
• 11:49
  think
• 11:50
  that
• 11:50
  she
• 11:50
  would
• 11:50
  survive
• 11:51
  it.
• 11:51
  I
• 11:51
  feared
• 11:52
  that
• 11:52
  she
• 11:52
  would.
• 11:54
  The
• 11:54
  grief
• 11:55
  coupled
• 11:55
  with
• 11:55
  everything
• 11:56
  else
• 11:56
  she
• 11:56
  already
• 11:56
  had
• 11:57
  going
• 11:57
  on.
• 11:58
  But
• 11:58
  amazingly,
• 11:59
  when
• 11:59
  she
• 11:59
  was
• 12:00
  forced
• 12:00
  to
• 12:00
  stand
• 12:00
  on
• 12:01
  her
• 12:01
  own
• 12:01
  two
• 12:01
  feet
• 12:01
  and
• 12:02
  take
• 12:03
  care
• 12:03
  of
• 12:03
  herself
• 12:04
  and
• 12:04
  respect
• 12:05
  my
• 12:05
  boundaries,
• 12:06
  interestingly,
• 12:08
  she
• 12:08
  started
• 12:08
  to
• 12:08
  get
• 12:09
  better
• 12:09
  herself.
• 12:10
  That's.
• 12:11
  That's
• 12:11
  great.
• 12:11
  And
• 12:12
  I
• 12:12
  love.
• 12:12
  I
• 12:12
  love
• 12:13
  stories
• 12:13
  where
• 12:13
  people
• 12:13
  can
• 12:14
  actually
• 12:14
  reconcile
• 12:15
  and
• 12:15
  then
• 12:15
  they
• 12:15
  can
• 12:16
  re.
• 12:16
  Establish
• 12:17
  and
• 12:17
  mend
• 12:17
  that
• 12:18
  relationship.
• 12:19
  Because.
• 12:20
  Because
• 12:20
  I
• 12:21
  don't
• 12:21
  know.
• 12:21
  Again,
• 12:21
  I
• 12:21
  don't
• 12:22
  know
• 12:22
  what
• 12:22
  your.
• 12:22
  I
• 12:23
  know
• 12:23
  there
• 12:23
  was
• 12:23
  chaos.
• 12:23
  I
• 12:23
  know
• 12:24
  there
• 12:24
  was
• 12:24
  dysfunction.
• 12:25
  I
• 12:25
  know
• 12:25
  there
• 12:25
  was
• 12:25
  confusion.
• 12:27
  I
• 12:27
  don't
• 12:27
  know
• 12:27
  if
• 12:27
  there
• 12:28
  was
• 12:28
  fear
• 12:28
  and
• 12:28
  a
• 12:29
  physical
• 12:29
  abuse.
• 12:29
  I
• 12:29
  don't
• 12:29
  know
• 12:30
  any
• 12:30
  of
• 12:30
  those
• 12:30
  details.
• 12:31
  But
• 12:31
  it's
• 12:32
  good
• 12:32
  to
• 12:32
  know
• 12:32
  that
• 12:33
  so
• 12:33
  many
• 12:33
  people
• 12:34
  can.
• 12:34
  You
• 12:34
  can
• 12:34
  reestablish
• 12:35
  that.
• 12:35
  And
• 12:36
  going
• 12:36
  to
• 12:36
  Al
• 12:37
  Anon
• 12:37
  sometimes,
• 12:38
  that
• 12:38
  was.
• 12:39
  That
• 12:39
  was
• 12:39
  a
• 12:39
  big
• 12:39
  turning
• 12:40
  point
• 12:40
  for
• 12:40
  me.
• 12:41
  I
• 12:41
  remember
• 12:41
  my
• 12:41
  father
• 12:42
  told
• 12:42
  me
• 12:42
  when
• 12:42
  I
• 12:42
  was
• 12:42
  13,
• 12:43
  because
• 12:43
  he
• 12:43
  was
• 12:44
  an
• 12:44
  alcoholic
• 12:44
  as
• 12:44
  well,
• 12:45
  and
• 12:45
  he
• 12:46
  knew.
• 12:46
  He
• 12:46
  said
• 12:46
  to
• 12:46
  me,
• 12:47
  when
• 12:47
  I
• 12:47
  was
• 12:47
  13
• 12:47
  years
• 12:47
  old,
• 12:48
  Tammy,
• 12:48
  your
• 12:48
  mother
• 12:49
  and
• 12:49
  I
• 12:49
  are
• 12:49
  doing
• 12:49
  irreparable
• 12:50
  damage
• 12:51
  to
• 12:51
  you
• 12:51
  and
• 12:51
  your
• 12:51
  brother
• 12:51
  and
• 12:51
  sister.
• 12:52
  Oh,
• 12:52
  wow.
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  don't
• 12:53
  know
• 12:53
  how
• 12:53
  to
• 12:53
  help
• 12:53
  you.
• 12:54
  I
• 12:54
  was
• 12:55
  like,
• 12:55
  okay,
• 12:56
  so,
• 12:57
  like,
• 12:58
  so
• 12:58
  what
• 12:58
  do
• 12:58
  I
• 12:58
  do
• 12:58
  with
• 12:59
  that?
• 12:59
  And
• 12:59
  I
• 12:59
  went
• 12:59
  to
• 13:00
  an
• 13:00
  alatine
• 13:00
  meeting
• 13:02
  and
• 13:02
  they
• 13:03
  were
• 13:03
  talking
• 13:03
  about
• 13:03
  empathy.
• 13:04
  That
• 13:05
  was
• 13:05
  the
• 13:05
  subject
• 13:05
  of
• 13:05
  the
• 13:06
  night.
• 13:06
  And
• 13:07
  the
• 13:07
  very
• 13:07
  night
• 13:08
  before
• 13:09
  my
• 13:10
  mom
• 13:10
  had.
• 13:10
  It
• 13:10
  was
• 13:10
  kind
• 13:11
  of
• 13:11
  a.
• 13:11
  Just
• 13:11
  a
• 13:11
  bad
• 13:11
  situation.
• 13:12
  My
• 13:12
  mom
• 13:13
  had
• 13:13
  been
• 13:13
  drinking.
• 13:13
  Obviously
• 13:14
  they
• 13:14
  were
• 13:14
  getting
• 13:15
  ready
• 13:15
  to
• 13:15
  get
• 13:15
  divorced.
• 13:16
  And
• 13:16
  back
• 13:16
  in
• 13:16
  the
• 13:16
  70s,
• 13:17
  there
• 13:17
  wasn't
• 13:17
  a,
• 13:18
  you
• 13:19
  know,
• 13:19
  there
• 13:19
  wasn't
• 13:19
  custody
• 13:20
  battles.
• 13:20
  Dad
• 13:21
  got,
• 13:21
  mom
• 13:21
  got.
• 13:22
  Basically,
• 13:23
  unless
• 13:24
  you
• 13:24
  could
• 13:24
  prove
• 13:24
  her
• 13:25
  unfit,
• 13:25
  mom
• 13:25
  got
• 13:26
  custody.
• 13:26
  That's
• 13:26
  kind
• 13:27
  of
• 13:27
  how
• 13:27
  it
• 13:27
  was
• 13:27
  a
• 13:28
  while
• 13:28
  ago.
• 13:29
  So
• 13:29
  she
• 13:30
  was
• 13:30
  kind
• 13:30
  of
• 13:30
  nervous
• 13:30
  about
• 13:31
  that.
• 13:31
  So
• 13:31
  she
• 13:31
  was
• 13:32
  doing
• 13:32
  everything
• 13:32
  she
• 13:32
  could
• 13:33
  to
• 13:33
  get
• 13:33
  my
• 13:34
  father
• 13:34
  to
• 13:35
  be
• 13:35
  abusive
• 13:35
  to
• 13:36
  her.
• 13:36
  So
• 13:36
  that
• 13:36
  we
• 13:36
  would
• 13:37
  have
• 13:37
  to
• 13:37
  say,
• 13:37
  dad
• 13:37
  hits
• 13:38
  mom.
• 13:38
  And
• 13:39
  my
• 13:39
  father
• 13:39
  was
• 13:39
  always
• 13:40
  like
• 13:40
  the
• 13:40
  most
• 13:40
  mellow,
• 13:41
  like,
• 13:41
  chilled
• 13:42
  out,
• 13:42
  kind,
• 13:42
  just
• 13:43
  relaxed.
• 13:44
  And
• 13:44
  I'll
• 13:44
  never
• 13:45
  forget
• 13:45
  it.
• 13:45
  And
• 13:46
  that
• 13:46
  very
• 13:46
  next
• 13:46
  morning,
• 13:47
  I
• 13:47
  went
• 13:47
  to
• 13:47
  this
• 13:47
  Al
• 13:48
  Anon
• 13:48
  meeting
• 13:48
  or
• 13:48
  day
• 13:49
  after
• 13:49
  school
• 13:49
  after
• 13:50
  I'd
• 13:50
  watched
• 13:50
  my
• 13:50
  mother
• 13:51
  burn
• 13:51
  cigarettes
• 13:51
  on
• 13:52
  my
• 13:52
  father
• 13:52
  trying
• 13:52
  to
• 13:53
  get
• 13:53
  him
• 13:53
  to
• 13:53
  hit
• 13:53
  her.
• 13:53
  And
• 13:54
  my
• 13:54
  dad's
• 13:54
  like,
• 13:55
  not
• 13:55
  going
• 13:55
  to
• 13:55
  do
• 13:55
  it.
• 13:56
  But
• 13:57
  at
• 13:57
  that
• 13:57
  stage
• 13:58
  in
• 13:58
  my
• 13:58
  life,
• 13:58
  I
• 13:59
  regret
• 13:59
  that
• 13:59
  it
• 13:59
  was
• 13:59
  that
• 14:00
  meeting
• 14:00
  because
• 14:01
  I
• 14:01
  didn't
• 14:01
  Understand
• 14:01
  empathy.
• 14:02
  I
• 14:02
  didn't
• 14:02
  understand
• 14:03
  putting
• 14:04
  yourself
• 14:04
  in
• 14:04
  someone's
• 14:05
  shoes.
• 14:05
  I
• 14:05
  didn't
• 14:06
  understand,
• 14:06
  like
• 14:06
  you
• 14:06
  said,
• 14:07
  that
• 14:07
  it
• 14:07
  was
• 14:07
  a
• 14:07
  disease
• 14:08
  and
• 14:08
  that
• 14:09
  it
• 14:09
  wasn't
• 14:10
  her
• 14:10
  just
• 14:10
  being
• 14:11
  this
• 14:11
  nasty,
• 14:11
  mean
• 14:12
  person.
• 14:12
  It
• 14:12
  was
• 14:13
  the
• 14:13
  alcohol
• 14:13
  doing
• 14:14
  it
• 14:14
  to
• 14:14
  her.
• 14:15
  So
• 14:15
  I
• 14:15
  walked
• 14:16
  away
• 14:16
  from
• 14:16
  Alotine
• 14:17
  for
• 14:18
  15
• 14:19
  years,
• 14:19
  11
• 14:20
  years,
• 14:20
  something
• 14:20
  like
• 14:20
  that.
• 14:21
  And
• 14:22
  it
• 14:22
  took
• 14:22
  me
• 14:23
  getting
• 14:23
  back,
• 14:23
  and
• 14:24
  I
• 14:24
  wish
• 14:24
  I
• 14:24
  hadn't
• 14:25
  gone
• 14:25
  to
• 14:25
  that
• 14:25
  one
• 14:25
  meeting
• 14:25
  because
• 14:26
  now
• 14:26
  I
• 14:27
  don't
• 14:27
  have
• 14:27
  hard
• 14:27
  feelings.
• 14:28
  My.
• 14:28
  My
• 14:28
  parents
• 14:29
  have
• 14:29
  both
• 14:29
  passed,
• 14:29
  but
• 14:30
  there
• 14:30
  is
• 14:30
  no
• 14:30
  hard
• 14:30
  feelings
• 14:31
  there.
• 14:31
  There's
• 14:32
  only
• 14:32
  compassion
• 14:33
  and
• 14:33
  there's
• 14:34
  empathy
• 14:34
  for
• 14:34
  anybody
• 14:35
  that
• 14:35
  is
• 14:35
  going
• 14:35
  through
• 14:36
  that
• 14:36
  situation.
• 14:37
  So,
• 14:38
  you
• 14:39
  know,
• 14:39
  it
• 14:39
  takes
• 14:39
  work
• 14:40
  when
• 14:40
  relationships
• 14:41
  are
• 14:41
  broken
• 14:42
  like
• 14:42
  that.
• 14:42
  It
• 14:42
  takes
• 14:43
  a
• 14:43
  lot
• 14:43
  of
• 14:43
  work.
• 14:43
  But
• 14:44
  I
• 14:44
  love
• 14:44
  that
• 14:44
  you're
• 14:44
  hopeful
• 14:45
  and
• 14:45
  you
• 14:45
  can
• 14:46
  share
• 14:46
  that,
• 14:46
  that
• 14:46
  it's.
• 14:47
  It's
• 14:47
  mendable.
• 14:48
  Those
• 14:48
  relationships
• 14:48
  are
• 14:49
  absolutely
• 14:49
  mendable.
• 14:51
  Yes.
• 14:51
  And,
• 14:52
  you
• 14:52
  know,
• 14:52
  and
• 14:52
  when
• 14:52
  you're
• 14:52
  actively.
• 14:53
  When
• 14:53
  you're
• 14:53
  living
• 14:54
  with
• 14:54
  an
• 14:54
  active
• 14:54
  alcoholic,
• 14:56
  it's
• 14:56
  very
• 14:57
  difficult
• 14:57
  to
• 14:58
  have
• 14:58
  empathy
• 14:59
  because
• 14:59
  you're,
• 15:00
  You're.
• 15:00
  You're
• 15:01
  just
• 15:01
  in
• 15:01
  such
• 15:01
  a
• 15:02
  unhealthy,
• 15:03
  likely
• 15:04
  destructive
• 15:04
  environment
• 15:05
  that
• 15:05
  you
• 15:05
  can't
• 15:06
  think
• 15:06
  clearly.
• 15:06
  You're
• 15:07
  not.
• 15:07
  Your
• 15:08
  basic
• 15:08
  needs
• 15:08
  are
• 15:09
  not
• 15:09
  being
• 15:09
  met.
• 15:09
  It's
• 15:10
  very
• 15:10
  hard
• 15:10
  to.
• 15:11
  To
• 15:11
  separate
• 15:12
  this
• 15:13
  horrible
• 15:14
  person
• 15:14
  as
• 15:15
  they
• 15:15
  are
• 15:15
  when
• 15:15
  they're
• 15:15
  drinking
• 15:16
  from
• 15:17
  the
• 15:17
  human
• 15:17
  being
• 15:18
  underneath
• 15:18
  all
• 15:19
  of
• 15:19
  that.
• 15:19
  And
• 15:20
  as
• 15:20
  a
• 15:20
  teenager,
• 15:21
  I
• 15:21
  got
• 15:22
  very
• 15:22
  resentful
• 15:23
  because
• 15:23
  I
• 15:24
  didn't
• 15:24
  understand
• 15:24
  what
• 15:24
  was
• 15:25
  going
• 15:25
  on.
• 15:25
  I.
• 15:26
  I
• 15:26
  thought
• 15:26
  that
• 15:27
  every
• 15:27
  day
• 15:27
  my
• 15:27
  mother
• 15:27
  was
• 15:28
  making
• 15:28
  a
• 15:28
  decision,
• 15:29
  and,
• 15:30
  you
• 15:30
  know,
• 15:30
  I
• 15:30
  was
• 15:31
  crying,
• 15:32
  I
• 15:32
  was
• 15:33
  begging,
• 15:33
  I
• 15:33
  was
• 15:34
  writing
• 15:34
  letters,
• 15:35
  I
• 15:35
  was
• 15:35
  calling
• 15:36
  her
• 15:37
  siblings
• 15:37
  and
• 15:38
  trying,
• 15:38
  doing
• 15:38
  everything
• 15:39
  I
• 15:39
  could
• 15:39
  possibly
• 15:40
  think
• 15:40
  to
• 15:40
  do
• 15:40
  as
• 15:40
  a
• 15:40
  young
• 15:41
  person.
• 15:42
  And
• 15:42
  I
• 15:42
  just
• 15:42
  simply
• 15:43
  didn't
• 15:43
  understand
• 15:44
  that
• 15:44
  I
• 15:44
  could
• 15:44
  not
• 15:45
  control
• 15:45
  it.
• 15:45
  And
• 15:46
  it
• 15:46
  wasn't
• 15:46
  my
• 15:46
  job.
• 15:47
  My
• 15:48
  job
• 15:48
  was
• 15:48
  to
• 15:48
  be
• 15:49
  a
• 15:49
  kid,
• 15:49
  to
• 15:49
  be
• 15:49
  a
• 15:49
  young
• 15:50
  person
• 15:50
  and
• 15:50
  take
• 15:50
  good
• 15:51
  care
• 15:51
  of
• 15:51
  me.
• 15:51
  But
• 15:51
  I
• 15:52
  didn't
• 15:52
  have
• 15:52
  any
• 15:52
  of
• 15:53
  this
• 15:53
  education
• 15:53
  or
• 15:53
  this
• 15:54
  knowledge.
• 15:54
  And
• 15:55
  like
• 15:55
  your
• 15:56
  father.
• 15:56
  My
• 15:56
  father
• 15:57
  was.
• 15:57
  My
• 15:57
  father
• 15:58
  was
• 15:58
  not
• 15:58
  an
• 15:58
  alcoholic,
• 15:59
  but
• 15:59
  he
• 15:59
  was
• 15:59
  a
• 15:59
  very
• 16:00
  deeply
• 16:01
  embedded
• 16:01
  codependent,
• 16:02
  and
• 16:03
  he
• 16:04
  felt
• 16:04
  very
• 16:05
  strongly
• 16:06
  that
• 16:06
  my
• 16:06
  mother
• 16:07
  just
• 16:07
  needed
• 16:08
  everyone
• 16:08
  to
• 16:08
  take
• 16:09
  care
• 16:09
  of
• 16:09
  things
• 16:09
  for
• 16:09
  her.
• 16:10
  Now,
• 16:10
  as
• 16:11
  we
• 16:11
  know,
• 16:11
  we
• 16:12
  were
• 16:12
  completely
• 16:13
  enabling
• 16:14
  her.
• 16:14
  Right.
• 16:15
  And
• 16:15
  looking
• 16:16
  back,
• 16:17
  I
• 16:17
  thought
• 16:18
  I
• 16:18
  was
• 16:18
  doing
• 16:18
  the
• 16:18
  right
• 16:19
  thing,
• 16:19
  you
• 16:19
  know,
• 16:20
  by,
• 16:20
  you
• 16:21
  know,
• 16:21
  keeping
• 16:21
  everything
• 16:22
  a
• 16:22
  secret,
• 16:23
  cleaning
• 16:24
  up
• 16:24
  the
• 16:24
  messes,
• 16:25
  figuratively
• 16:26
  and
• 16:26
  literally,
• 16:26
  you
• 16:27
  know,
• 16:27
  keeping
• 16:27
  everything
• 16:27
  together,
• 16:28
  not
• 16:28
  telling
• 16:28
  anyone,
• 16:29
  taking
• 16:29
  care
• 16:30
  of
• 16:30
  myself,
• 16:31
  taking
• 16:31
  care
• 16:31
  of
• 16:31
  my
• 16:32
  younger
• 16:32
  sister.
• 16:33
  You
• 16:33
  know,
• 16:33
  I
• 16:33
  became
• 16:34
  absolutely
• 16:35
  the
• 16:35
  mother
• 16:36
  in
• 16:36
  the
• 16:36
  whole
• 16:36
  household.
• 16:37
  So
• 16:38
  I
• 16:38
  was
• 16:38
  the
• 16:38
  mother
• 16:39
  figure,
• 16:39
  the
• 16:39
  reliable,
• 16:40
  dependent
• 16:40
  one
• 16:40
  for
• 16:41
  my
• 16:41
  sister.
• 16:41
  And
• 16:42
  my
• 16:43
  mother
• 16:43
  had
• 16:43
  no
• 16:43
  reason
• 16:44
  to
• 16:44
  change
• 16:45
  because
• 16:46
  I
• 16:46
  had
• 16:46
  Taken
• 16:46
  over
• 16:47
  all
• 16:48
  of
• 16:48
  her
• 16:48
  responsibilities.
• 16:49
  And.
• 16:50
  And.
• 16:51
  And
• 16:51
  I
• 16:51
  deeply
• 16:52
  regret
• 16:52
  that
• 16:53
  because
• 16:53
  I.
• 16:53
  I
• 16:54
  took
• 16:54
  that
• 16:54
  purpose
• 16:55
  from
• 16:55
  her
• 16:56
  unknowingly.
• 16:57
  I
• 16:57
  thought
• 16:57
  I
• 16:57
  was
• 16:57
  doing
• 16:57
  the
• 16:58
  right
• 16:58
  thing,
• 16:58
  being
• 16:59
  the
• 17:00
  good
• 17:00
  older
• 17:00
  daughter.
• 17:02
  And
• 17:03
  now
• 17:03
  I
• 17:03
  know
• 17:03
  through
• 17:03
  education
• 17:04
  that
• 17:05
  I
• 17:05
  was
• 17:05
  really
• 17:05
  preventing
• 17:06
  her
• 17:06
  from
• 17:06
  realizing
• 17:07
  the
• 17:07
  help
• 17:08
  that
• 17:08
  she
• 17:08
  needed
• 17:08
  to
• 17:08
  get.
• 17:09
  Unfortunately,
• 17:10
  she
• 17:11
  did
• 17:11
  not
• 17:12
  ever
• 17:12
  really
• 17:12
  accept
• 17:13
  the
• 17:13
  help,
• 17:14
  but
• 17:14
  I
• 17:14
  never
• 17:15
  gave
• 17:15
  her
• 17:15
  the
• 17:15
  chance
• 17:16
  during
• 17:16
  those
• 17:16
  years
• 17:17
  to
• 17:17
  do
• 17:17
  so.
• 17:18
  Right.
• 17:18
  And,
• 17:19
  you
• 17:19
  know,
• 17:19
  I
• 17:20
  also
• 17:20
  don't
• 17:20
  like
• 17:20
  the.
• 17:21
  I
• 17:21
  don't
• 17:21
  like
• 17:21
  when
• 17:22
  people
• 17:22
  say,
• 17:22
  well,
• 17:22
  we
• 17:22
  got
• 17:22
  to
• 17:23
  let
• 17:23
  them
• 17:23
  hit
• 17:23
  rock
• 17:23
  bottom.
• 17:24
  You
• 17:24
  know,
• 17:24
  you
• 17:24
  can
• 17:25
  still
• 17:25
  be
• 17:25
  compassionate
• 17:26
  and
• 17:26
  you
• 17:26
  can
• 17:26
  still
• 17:26
  try
• 17:27
  to
• 17:27
  do
• 17:27
  those
• 17:27
  things,
• 17:27
  but,
• 17:28
  yeah,
• 17:28
  it's.
• 17:29
  It's
• 17:29
  heart
• 17:30
  wrenching
• 17:30
  watching
• 17:31
  someone
• 17:31
  that
• 17:32
  you
• 17:32
  love
• 17:33
  hit
• 17:33
  rock
• 17:34
  bottom,
• 17:34
  whether
• 17:35
  it's
• 17:35
  a
• 17:35
  spouse
• 17:35
  or
• 17:36
  a
• 17:36
  child
• 17:36
  or,
• 17:37
  you
• 17:37
  know,
• 17:37
  an
• 17:37
  aunt
• 17:37
  and
• 17:38
  whoever
• 17:38
  it
• 17:38
  is,
• 17:39
  to
• 17:39
  let
• 17:40
  that.
• 17:40
  You
• 17:40
  want
• 17:40
  to
• 17:40
  help
• 17:40
  them.
• 17:41
  You
• 17:41
  want
• 17:41
  to.
• 17:41
  And
• 17:41
  I
• 17:42
  know
• 17:42
  we
• 17:42
  talk.
• 17:42
  You've
• 17:43
  probably
• 17:43
  done
• 17:43
  blog
• 17:44
  posts
• 17:44
  on
• 17:44
  is
• 17:44
  it
• 17:44
  enabling
• 17:45
  or
• 17:45
  is
• 17:45
  it
• 17:46
  helping?
• 17:47
  You
• 17:47
  know,
• 17:47
  like,
• 17:47
  there's
• 17:48
  a
• 17:48
  big
• 17:48
  difference
• 17:48
  between
• 17:48
  helping
• 17:49
  someone
• 17:49
  and
• 17:50
  being
• 17:50
  kind
• 17:50
  and
• 17:51
  enabling
• 17:51
  them
• 17:52
  to
• 17:52
  carry
• 17:53
  on
• 17:53
  their
• 17:53
  addiction.
• 17:54
  I
• 17:54
  mean,
• 17:54
  it's
• 17:55
  definitely
• 17:55
  a
• 17:56
  fine
• 17:56
  line,
• 17:57
  but
• 17:57
  it's
• 17:57
  good.
• 17:58
  Again,
• 17:58
  that's
• 17:58
  why
• 17:58
  you're
• 17:58
  out
• 17:59
  here
• 17:59
  to
• 17:59
  tell
• 17:59
  people.
• 18:00
  And
• 18:02
  do
• 18:02
  you
• 18:03
  think
• 18:03
  that
• 18:03
  she
• 18:04
  knew?
• 18:04
  Like,
• 18:05
  did
• 18:05
  you
• 18:05
  have
• 18:05
  any
• 18:06
  conversations
• 18:06
  when
• 18:07
  she
• 18:07
  was
• 18:08
  actively
• 18:09
  drinking
• 18:09
  about
• 18:10
  the
• 18:10
  drinking?
• 18:10
  Like,
• 18:11
  was
• 18:11
  it
• 18:11
  ever
• 18:11
  discussed?
• 18:12
  Oh,
• 18:12
  yes,
• 18:13
  yes,
• 18:14
  yes.
• 18:14
  Between
• 18:15
  the
• 18:15
  two
• 18:15
  of
• 18:15
  us.
• 18:15
  It
• 18:16
  started
• 18:16
  when
• 18:16
  I
• 18:16
  was
• 18:16
  about
• 18:17
  12,
• 18:18
  you
• 18:18
  know,
• 18:18
  me
• 18:19
  having
• 18:19
  the
• 18:19
  frank
• 18:20
  conversations
• 18:21
  with
• 18:21
  her
• 18:21
  about
• 18:21
  how
• 18:22
  it
• 18:22
  made
• 18:22
  me
• 18:22
  feel,
• 18:23
  feel.
• 18:23
  And,
• 18:24
  you
• 18:25
  know,
• 18:25
  she
• 18:25
  came
• 18:25
  from
• 18:26
  an
• 18:26
  alcoholic
• 18:27
  household
• 18:29
  when
• 18:30
  she
• 18:30
  was
• 18:30
  11
• 18:30
  years
• 18:30
  old.
• 18:31
  A
• 18:31
  lot.
• 18:31
  A
• 18:31
  lot
• 18:31
  of
• 18:32
  dysfunction,
• 18:32
  a
• 18:32
  lot
• 18:32
  of
• 18:33
  unresolved
• 18:33
  trauma.
• 18:34
  I
• 18:34
  didn't
• 18:34
  know
• 18:34
  that
• 18:35
  at
• 18:35
  the
• 18:35
  time.
• 18:35
  I
• 18:36
  had
• 18:36
  no
• 18:36
  idea
• 18:36
  as
• 18:37
  a
• 18:37
  child.
• 18:37
  So
• 18:38
  she
• 18:39
  never
• 18:39
  opened
• 18:39
  up
• 18:39
  about
• 18:40
  any
• 18:40
  of
• 18:40
  that.
• 18:40
  She
• 18:41
  just
• 18:41
  always
• 18:42
  dismissed
• 18:43
  the
• 18:43
  drinking
• 18:43
  as
• 18:43
  something
• 18:44
  I
• 18:44
  didn't
• 18:44
  need
• 18:44
  to
• 18:44
  worry
• 18:45
  about,
• 18:45
  that
• 18:45
  it
• 18:45
  was
• 18:45
  just
• 18:46
  something
• 18:46
  she
• 18:47
  had
• 18:47
  to
• 18:47
  do.
• 18:48
  And.
• 18:49
  And
• 18:50
  the
• 18:50
  conversations
• 18:51
  really
• 18:51
  went
• 18:51
  nowhere.
• 18:52
  We
• 18:52
  repeated
• 18:52
  the
• 18:52
  same
• 18:53
  conversation
• 18:53
  over
• 18:53
  and
• 18:54
  over
• 18:54
  again
• 18:54
  for
• 18:55
  several
• 18:55
  years.
• 18:56
  You
• 18:56
  know,
• 18:56
  even,
• 18:56
  you
• 18:57
  know,
• 18:57
  as
• 18:57
  I
• 18:57
  became
• 18:58
  a
• 18:58
  young
• 18:58
  adult,
• 18:59
  I
• 18:59
  was.
• 18:59
  I
• 19:00
  was
• 19:00
  so
• 19:00
  certain
• 19:01
  that
• 19:01
  I
• 19:01
  could
• 19:01
  one
• 19:02
  day
• 19:03
  say
• 19:03
  the
• 19:03
  right
• 19:03
  thing
• 19:04
  or
• 19:04
  she
• 19:05
  would
• 19:05
  reach
• 19:05
  a
• 19:05
  point
• 19:05
  where
• 19:06
  she
• 19:06
  was
• 19:06
  just
• 19:06
  tired
• 19:06
  of
• 19:07
  it,
• 19:07
  of
• 19:07
  tired
• 19:07
  of
• 19:08
  that
• 19:08
  life
• 19:08
  and
• 19:09
  miraculously
• 19:10
  decide
• 19:10
  to
• 19:10
  get
• 19:10
  help
• 19:11
  or
• 19:11
  just
• 19:12
  cold
• 19:12
  turkey,
• 19:13
  stop
• 19:13
  drinking.
• 19:13
  I
• 19:13
  had
• 19:14
  that,
• 19:14
  you
• 19:14
  know,
• 19:15
  hope,
• 19:16
  too.
• 19:16
  And
• 19:17
  my
• 19:17
  father
• 19:17
  had
• 19:17
  this
• 19:18
  rosy
• 19:19
  outlook
• 19:19
  on
• 19:20
  life.
• 19:20
  That
• 19:20
  was
• 19:20
  his
• 19:20
  personality,
• 19:21
  which
• 19:21
  was
• 19:21
  a
• 19:22
  wonderful
• 19:22
  trait
• 19:22
  to
• 19:22
  have,
• 19:23
  except
• 19:24
  when
• 19:24
  it
• 19:24
  came
• 19:24
  to
• 19:24
  my
• 19:25
  mother,
• 19:25
  because
• 19:26
  he
• 19:26
  would
• 19:26
  always
• 19:26
  say,
• 19:27
  things
• 19:27
  just
• 19:28
  have
• 19:28
  a
• 19:28
  way
• 19:28
  of
• 19:28
  working
• 19:29
  out.
• 19:29
  And
• 19:30
  he
• 19:30
  just
• 19:30
  believed
• 19:31
  that
• 19:31
  we
• 19:31
  just
• 19:32
  got
• 19:32
  through
• 19:32
  that
• 19:32
  period,
• 19:33
  she
• 19:33
  was
• 19:33
  going
• 19:33
  through
• 19:33
  a
• 19:33
  rough
• 19:34
  patch.
• 19:35
  We
• 19:35
  would
• 19:36
  turn
• 19:36
  out
• 19:36
  okay
• 19:36
  on
• 19:37
  the
• 19:37
  other
• 19:37
  side.
• 19:37
  Well,
• 19:38
  the
• 19:38
  rough
• 19:38
  patches
• 19:38
  went
• 19:39
  on
• 19:39
  for
• 19:39
  years,
• 19:40
  and
• 19:40
  he
• 19:40
  didn't
• 19:41
  have
• 19:41
  the
• 19:41
  education
• 19:41
  or
• 19:42
  the
• 19:42
  knowledge
• 19:43
  to
• 19:43
  know
• 19:43
  what
• 19:43
  to
• 19:43
  do,
• 19:44
  so
• 19:44
  he
• 19:44
  just
• 19:44
  kind
• 19:44
  of
• 19:44
  did
• 19:44
  the
• 19:45
  best
• 19:45
  that
• 19:45
  he
• 19:45
  could.
• 19:46
  And
• 19:47
  unfortunately,
• 19:47
  he
• 19:48
  passed
• 19:48
  away
• 19:48
  just
• 19:49
  as
• 19:49
  I
• 19:49
  was
• 19:49
  really
• 19:50
  getting
• 19:51
  wisdom
• 19:52
  on
• 19:52
  this
• 19:52
  topic.
• 19:53
  And.
• 19:54
  And
• 19:54
  I
• 19:54
  often
• 19:55
  wonder
• 19:55
  if
• 19:55
  he
• 19:55
  had
• 19:55
  passed
• 19:56
  away,
• 19:56
  you
• 19:56
  know,
• 19:56
  how
• 19:56
  we
• 19:57
  could.
• 19:57
  How
• 19:57
  I
• 19:57
  could
• 19:57
  have
• 19:57
  helped
• 19:58
  him
• 19:58
  learn
• 19:59
  and,
• 19:59
  you
• 19:59
  know,
• 20:00
  deal
• 20:00
  with
• 20:00
  it.
• 20:00
  But
• 20:01
  the
• 20:01
  good
• 20:01
  news
• 20:01
  is
• 20:02
  my
• 20:02
  sister
• 20:02
  and
• 20:02
  I,
• 20:03
  you
• 20:03
  know,
• 20:03
  we
• 20:03
  have
• 20:04
  the.
• 20:04
  The
• 20:04
  wisdom.
• 20:05
  We're
• 20:05
  stopping
• 20:06
  the
• 20:06
  cycle
• 20:06
  in
• 20:07
  our
• 20:07
  family.
• 20:08
  And.
• 20:08
  And
• 20:09
  we've,
• 20:09
  you
• 20:10
  know,
• 20:10
  have.
• 20:11
  We're
• 20:11
  focused
• 20:11
  on
• 20:11
  ourselves.
• 20:13
  Perfect.
• 20:14
  I
• 20:14
  mean,
• 20:14
  that's
• 20:14
  all
• 20:14
  you
• 20:14
  can
• 20:15
  do.
• 20:15
  And,
• 20:16
  you
• 20:16
  know,
• 20:16
  I
• 20:16
  say
• 20:16
  I
• 20:16
  go
• 20:17
  back
• 20:17
  to
• 20:17
  all
• 20:17
  these
• 20:17
  cliches,
• 20:18
  you
• 20:18
  know,
• 20:18
  I
• 20:18
  don't
• 20:19
  know
• 20:19
  how
• 20:19
  many
• 20:19
  times
• 20:19
  I
• 20:19
  heard
• 20:20
  my
• 20:20
  mother
• 20:20
  say,
• 20:21
  I
• 20:21
  don't
• 20:21
  know
• 20:21
  why
• 20:21
  you
• 20:21
  guys
• 20:22
  keep
• 20:22
  bothering
• 20:22
  me
• 20:22
  about
• 20:23
  this.
• 20:23
  I'm
• 20:23
  only
• 20:23
  hurting
• 20:23
  myself.
• 20:25
  And
• 20:26
  if
• 20:26
  she'll.
• 20:27
  And
• 20:27
  she
• 20:27
  was
• 20:27
  a
• 20:27
  child
• 20:28
  psychiatrist.
• 20:30
  Wow.
• 20:31
  So
• 20:31
  I
• 20:31
  feel
• 20:32
  like
• 20:32
  there
• 20:32
  had
• 20:33
  to
• 20:33
  be
• 20:33
  some
• 20:33
  knowledge
• 20:34
  of
• 20:34
  what
• 20:34
  was
• 20:34
  going
• 20:35
  on.
• 20:35
  I
• 20:35
  mean,
• 20:35
  she
• 20:35
  was
• 20:35
  a
• 20:36
  doctor.
• 20:36
  Like,
• 20:37
  she
• 20:37
  had
• 20:37
  to
• 20:37
  know.
• 20:38
  But,
• 20:39
  you
• 20:39
  know,
• 20:40
  again,
• 20:40
  her.
• 20:41
  She
• 20:41
  was
• 20:42
  troubled
• 20:42
  her
• 20:42
  whole
• 20:43
  life.
• 20:43
  It
• 20:43
  was
• 20:43
  a
• 20:43
  coping
• 20:44
  mechanism.
• 20:44
  That's
• 20:44
  how
• 20:45
  it
• 20:45
  started.
• 20:46
  She
• 20:46
  was
• 20:46
  anorexic
• 20:47
  at
• 20:47
  13.
• 20:48
  Her
• 20:48
  father
• 20:48
  sent
• 20:48
  her
• 20:48
  to
• 20:49
  boarding
• 20:49
  school
• 20:49
  for
• 20:49
  four
• 20:50
  years.
• 20:50
  Never
• 20:50
  even
• 20:50
  saw
• 20:51
  her.
• 20:51
  Just.
• 20:52
  And
• 20:52
  he
• 20:52
  was
• 20:52
  a
• 20:52
  child.
• 20:52
  He
• 20:52
  was
• 20:53
  a
• 20:53
  psychiatrist,
• 20:54
  so
• 20:54
  it
• 20:55
  was
• 20:55
  like
• 20:55
  just
• 20:56
  boom,
• 20:56
  boom,
• 20:56
  boom.
• 20:56
  So
• 20:57
  you
• 20:57
  talk
• 20:57
  about
• 20:57
  generational,
• 20:58
  but,
• 20:58
  yes,
• 20:59
  it's
• 20:59
  good
• 20:59
  that,
• 21:00
  you
• 21:00
  know,
• 21:00
  somebody
• 21:01
  stand
• 21:01
  up.
• 21:01
  That's
• 21:01
  what
• 21:01
  I
• 21:01
  tell
• 21:02
  my
• 21:02
  kids,
• 21:02
  and
• 21:02
  I
• 21:03
  even
• 21:03
  tell
• 21:03
  my
• 21:03
  kids,
• 21:03
  and
• 21:03
  I'm
• 21:04
  very
• 21:04
  honest
• 21:04
  with
• 21:04
  them,
• 21:04
  is
• 21:05
  that
• 21:05
  even
• 21:06
  if
• 21:06
  I
• 21:06
  had
• 21:06
  never
• 21:06
  picked
• 21:07
  up
• 21:07
  a
• 21:07
  drink,
• 21:07
  you
• 21:08
  are
• 21:08
  acquiring
• 21:09
  all
• 21:09
  the
• 21:09
  traits
• 21:09
  of
• 21:10
  having
• 21:10
  lived
• 21:10
  with
• 21:10
  an
• 21:10
  alcoholic.
• 21:11
  Because
• 21:12
  I
• 21:12
  was
• 21:12
  at
• 21:12
  the
• 21:12
  beginning
• 21:13
  of
• 21:13
  my
• 21:13
  learning
• 21:13
  stage.
• 21:14
  You
• 21:14
  know,
• 21:14
  if
• 21:15
  I
• 21:15
  knew
• 21:15
  now
• 21:15
  what
• 21:16
  I
• 21:16
  knew
• 21:16
  20
• 21:16
  years
• 21:17
  ago
• 21:17
  when
• 21:17
  my
• 21:17
  children
• 21:17
  were
• 21:18
  born.
• 21:19
  Totally
• 21:20
  different
• 21:20
  ballgame.
• 21:21
  But
• 21:21
  you
• 21:21
  can't
• 21:21
  beat
• 21:22
  yourself
• 21:22
  up
• 21:22
  about
• 21:22
  that.
• 21:22
  All
• 21:23
  you
• 21:23
  can
• 21:23
  do
• 21:23
  is
• 21:23
  move
• 21:23
  forward.
• 21:24
  Absolutely.
• 21:25
  Yes.
• 21:26
  And
• 21:26
  as.
• 21:26
  As
• 21:27
  we
• 21:27
  chatted
• 21:27
  about
• 21:28
  earlier,
• 21:28
  you
• 21:28
  know,
• 21:28
  this
• 21:28
  is
• 21:29
  really
• 21:29
  a
• 21:29
  lifelong
• 21:30
  journey.
• 21:30
  And,
• 21:31
  you
• 21:31
  know,
• 21:32
  when
• 21:32
  I
• 21:32
  started
• 21:32
  it,
• 21:33
  I
• 21:33
  thought,
• 21:33
  well,
• 21:34
  you
• 21:34
  know,
• 21:34
  at
• 21:35
  some
• 21:35
  point
• 21:35
  here,
• 21:35
  I
• 21:36
  will
• 21:36
  reach.
• 21:37
  I
• 21:37
  will
• 21:37
  reach
• 21:38
  full
• 21:38
  knowledge
• 21:38
  of
• 21:38
  this
• 21:39
  topic.
• 21:39
  I
• 21:39
  will.
• 21:40
  I
• 21:40
  will
• 21:40
  be
• 21:41
  happy.
• 21:41
  I
• 21:42
  will
• 21:42
  have
• 21:42
  everything
• 21:42
  I
• 21:43
  need
• 21:43
  to
• 21:43
  have.
• 21:44
  And
• 21:44
  I
• 21:45
  know
• 21:45
  now
• 21:45
  that
• 21:47
  it's
• 21:47
  a
• 21:47
  journey
• 21:48
  of
• 21:48
  continual
• 21:48
  learning.
• 21:49
  So,
• 21:49
  you
• 21:49
  know,
• 21:50
  five
• 21:50
  years
• 21:50
  ago,
• 21:50
  I
• 21:51
  thought
• 21:51
  I
• 21:51
  really
• 21:51
  had
• 21:52
  great
• 21:52
  wisdom.
• 21:53
  And
• 21:53
  now,
• 21:53
  five
• 21:54
  years
• 21:54
  later,
• 21:54
  there's
• 21:54
  so
• 21:54
  much
• 21:55
  more
• 21:55
  that
• 21:56
  I
• 21:56
  recognize
• 21:56
  that
• 21:57
  I
• 21:57
  have
• 21:57
  opportunity
• 21:57
  to
• 21:58
  learn
• 21:58
  and
• 21:58
  grow.
• 21:59
  And
• 21:59
  it's
• 21:59
  very
• 22:00
  exciting
• 22:01
  because
• 22:02
  I
• 22:02
  am
• 22:03
  at
• 22:03
  a
• 22:03
  point
• 22:03
  that
• 22:03
  I
• 22:04
  never
• 22:04
  thought
• 22:04
  that
• 22:04
  I
• 22:04
  could
• 22:04
  be
• 22:05
  at.
• 22:05
  Yeah,
• 22:05
  I
• 22:05
  thought
• 22:05
  that
• 22:06
  I
• 22:06
  was.
• 22:07
  I
• 22:07
  was
• 22:07
  dealt
• 22:07
  very
• 22:08
  bad
• 22:08
  cards
• 22:08
  in
• 22:09
  life
• 22:09
  that
• 22:09
  I
• 22:09
  would
• 22:10
  always
• 22:10
  be
• 22:10
  burdened
• 22:11
  with
• 22:11
  being
• 22:12
  in
• 22:12
  the
• 22:12
  middle
• 22:12
  of
• 22:13
  the
• 22:13
  chaos,
• 22:14
  taking
• 22:14
  care
• 22:14
  of
• 22:14
  my
• 22:15
  parents
• 22:15
  on
• 22:15
  every
• 22:16
  level,
• 22:16
  financially,
• 22:17
  emotionally.
• 22:19
  Just
• 22:20
  so
• 22:20
  much
• 22:20
  responsibility
• 22:21
  that
• 22:21
  I
• 22:22
  thought
• 22:22
  I
• 22:22
  had
• 22:22
  to
• 22:23
  bear
• 22:23
  for
• 22:24
  the
• 22:24
  rest
• 22:24
  of
• 22:24
  my
• 22:24
  life.
• 22:24
  It
• 22:25
  was
• 22:25
  overwhelming.
• 22:26
  You
• 22:26
  can
• 22:26
  imagine
• 22:27
  why
• 22:27
  I
• 22:27
  was.
• 22:27
  I
• 22:27
  felt
• 22:28
  so
• 22:28
  depressed
• 22:28
  at
• 22:28
  26.
• 22:30
  And
• 22:31
  now
• 22:31
  being
• 22:32
  through
• 22:32
  this
• 22:32
  whole
• 22:32
  process
• 22:33
  of
• 22:33
  healing,
• 22:33
  it.
• 22:34
  It's
• 22:34
  so
• 22:35
  exciting.
• 22:35
  I
• 22:35
  wish
• 22:35
  I
• 22:35
  could
• 22:35
  go
• 22:36
  back
• 22:36
  in
• 22:36
  time
• 22:36
  and
• 22:37
  kind
• 22:37
  of
• 22:37
  whisper
• 22:37
  in
• 22:38
  teenager
• 22:39
  me's
• 22:40
  ear
• 22:40
  and
• 22:41
  say,
• 22:41
  this
• 22:41
  is
• 22:42
  what
• 22:42
  life
• 22:42
  is
• 22:42
  going
• 22:42
  to
• 22:42
  be
• 22:43
  like
• 22:43
  in
• 22:43
  the
• 22:43
  future.
• 22:43
  You
• 22:44
  believe
• 22:44
  that
• 22:44
  you'll
• 22:44
  get
• 22:45
  there
• 22:45
  and
• 22:45
  you
• 22:45
  will.
• 22:46
  And.
• 22:47
  And
• 22:47
  there
• 22:47
  are
• 22:48
  just
• 22:48
  millions
• 22:48
  of
• 22:49
  people
• 22:49
  who
• 22:49
  have
• 22:49
  lived
• 22:50
  this.
• 22:50
  And
• 22:51
  you
• 22:51
  listen
• 22:52
  to
• 22:52
  the
• 22:52
  stories.
• 22:53
  They're
• 22:53
  all
• 22:53
  variations
• 22:54
  of
• 22:54
  the
• 22:54
  same
• 22:55
  story.
• 22:55
  Absolutely.
• 22:56
  And
• 22:56
  you
• 22:56
  think,
• 22:56
  how
• 22:57
  did
• 22:57
  they.
• 22:57
  How
• 22:57
  did
• 22:57
  they
• 22:57
  get
• 22:58
  through
• 22:58
  that
• 22:59
  and.
• 23:00
  And
• 23:00
  come
• 23:00
  out,
• 23:01
  you
• 23:01
  know,
• 23:01
  so
• 23:01
  fulfilled
• 23:02
  and,
• 23:03
  you
• 23:03
  know,
• 23:03
  having
• 23:03
  a
• 23:04
  life
• 23:04
  they
• 23:04
  love
• 23:04
  and
• 23:05
  it's
• 23:05
  because
• 23:05
  they
• 23:05
  put
• 23:06
  in
• 23:06
  the
• 23:06
  time
• 23:07
  to
• 23:07
  heal.
• 23:08
  Yes.
• 23:08
  So
• 23:08
  much
• 23:09
  as
• 23:09
  possible.
• 23:10
  Now,
• 23:10
  what
• 23:10
  do
• 23:10
  you.
• 23:11
  What
• 23:11
  would
• 23:11
  you
• 23:11
  attribute
• 23:12
  your
• 23:12
  best?
• 23:12
  Like,
• 23:13
  I
• 23:13
  know
• 23:13
  you
• 23:13
  went
• 23:13
  to
• 23:13
  therapy.
• 23:14
  Is
• 23:14
  that
• 23:14
  what
• 23:14
  you
• 23:15
  would
• 23:15
  say
• 23:15
  did
• 23:15
  the
• 23:15
  most
• 23:16
  healing
• 23:16
  for
• 23:16
  you
• 23:17
  was
• 23:17
  the
• 23:17
  therapy?
• 23:19
  No,
• 23:20
  actually
• 23:20
  it
• 23:20
  was
• 23:20
  the
• 23:20
  Al
• 23:21
  Anon
• 23:21
  meetings.
• 23:22
  I
• 23:22
  mean,
• 23:22
  therapy
• 23:23
  had
• 23:23
  to
• 23:23
  happen.
• 23:24
  It
• 23:24
  was
• 23:24
  absolutely
• 23:25
  critical
• 23:26
  step,
• 23:27
  but
• 23:27
  it
• 23:27
  was.
• 23:27
  It
• 23:28
  was
• 23:28
  the
• 23:28
  realization
• 23:29
  that
• 23:30
  I
• 23:31
  had
• 23:31
  a
• 23:31
  completely
• 23:31
  normal
• 23:32
  reaction
• 23:33
  because
• 23:33
  all
• 23:34
  the
• 23:34
  while
• 23:35
  the
• 23:35
  anxiety
• 23:36
  that
• 23:36
  I
• 23:36
  felt,
• 23:37
  issues
• 23:38
  that
• 23:38
  I
• 23:38
  had
• 23:38
  picked
• 23:39
  up
• 23:39
  along
• 23:39
  the
• 23:39
  way
• 23:39
  with
• 23:41
  my
• 23:41
  relationships,
• 23:42
  how
• 23:42
  I
• 23:43
  worked,
• 23:44
  everything
• 23:44
  was
• 23:45
  attributed
• 23:46
  to
• 23:46
  my
• 23:47
  experiences
• 23:47
  with
• 23:48
  my
• 23:48
  mother.
• 23:49
  And
• 23:49
  being
• 23:50
  in
• 23:50
  those
• 23:50
  meetings
• 23:51
  really
• 23:51
  kind
• 23:51
  of
• 23:51
  opened
• 23:52
  my
• 23:52
  eyes
• 23:52
  that
• 23:52
  this
• 23:53
  is.
• 23:53
  Other
• 23:53
  people
• 23:53
  are
• 23:53
  feeling
• 23:54
  this
• 23:54
  way
• 23:54
  too.
• 23:55
  You're
• 23:55
  normal.
• 23:56
  And
• 23:57
  now
• 23:57
  you
• 23:57
  just
• 23:57
  have
• 23:57
  to
• 23:58
  figure
• 23:58
  out
• 23:58
  how
• 23:58
  to
• 23:59
  sort
• 23:59
  of
• 23:59
  unprogram
• 24:00
  your
• 24:01
  thinking.
• 24:01
  And
• 24:02
  I
• 24:02
  did
• 24:02
  a
• 24:03
  lot
• 24:03
  of
• 24:03
  that.
• 24:03
  It's
• 24:03
  still
• 24:04
  there.
• 24:04
  It
• 24:04
  still
• 24:05
  comes
• 24:05
  back,
• 24:05
  of
• 24:06
  course.
• 24:07
  But
• 24:07
  that's
• 24:07
  why
• 24:08
  the
• 24:08
  learning
• 24:08
  is
• 24:09
  always
• 24:09
  good.
• 24:09
  And,
• 24:09
  you
• 24:09
  know,
• 24:10
  staying
• 24:10
  connected
• 24:10
  with
• 24:11
  people
• 24:11
  and
• 24:11
  having
• 24:12
  the
• 24:12
  conversations,
• 24:13
  always
• 24:13
  a
• 24:13
  reminder
• 24:14
  of
• 24:15
  the
• 24:15
  healthy
• 24:16
  thinking.
• 24:16
  And
• 24:16
  when
• 24:17
  you
• 24:17
  start
• 24:17
  to
• 24:17
  slip
• 24:17
  back
• 24:18
  into
• 24:18
  the
• 24:18
  unhealthy
• 24:19
  thinking,
• 24:20
  it's
• 24:20
  the.
• 24:20
  It's
• 24:21
  the
• 24:21
  voices
• 24:21
  and
• 24:22
  the
• 24:22
  stories
• 24:22
  around
• 24:23
  you
• 24:23
  that.
• 24:24
  That
• 24:24
  remind
• 24:24
  and
• 24:24
  get
• 24:25
  you
• 24:25
  right
• 24:25
  back
• 24:25
  on
• 24:25
  the
• 24:26
  right
• 24:26
  path.
• 24:27
  Right.
• 24:27
  And
• 24:28
  I
• 24:28
  love
• 24:28
  that
• 24:28
  you
• 24:28
  made
• 24:28
  the
• 24:28
  comment
• 24:29
  that
• 24:29
  you
• 24:29
  said
• 24:29
  you
• 24:29
  had
• 24:29
  to
• 24:29
  go
• 24:30
  back
• 24:30
  and
• 24:30
  like,
• 24:31
  you
• 24:31
  wanted
• 24:31
  to
• 24:31
  go
• 24:31
  back
• 24:31
  and
• 24:31
  talk
• 24:32
  to
• 24:32
  that
• 24:32
  teenage
• 24:33
  teenager
• 24:33
  and
• 24:33
  whisper
• 24:34
  in
• 24:34
  their
• 24:34
  ear
• 24:34
  and
• 24:34
  say,
• 24:35
  this
• 24:35
  is
• 24:35
  what
• 24:35
  it
• 24:35
  can
• 24:35
  be
• 24:35
  like.
• 24:36
  This
• 24:36
  is
• 24:36
  what
• 24:36
  it's
• 24:36
  going
• 24:36
  to
• 24:36
  look
• 24:37
  like.
• 24:37
  But
• 24:37
  you
• 24:38
  also
• 24:38
  made
• 24:38
  a
• 24:38
  reference
• 24:39
  to
• 24:39
  comment
• 24:39
  earlier
• 24:40
  that
• 24:40
  you
• 24:40
  had
• 24:40
  clearly
• 24:41
  done
• 24:41
  some
• 24:41
  inner
• 24:42
  child
• 24:42
  work
• 24:42
  like
• 24:43
  you
• 24:43
  were
• 24:43
  going
• 24:43
  back
• 24:44
  and,
• 24:44
  and
• 24:44
  being
• 24:45
  that
• 24:45
  young
• 24:45
  child
• 24:46
  again.
• 24:46
  And
• 24:46
  I
• 24:46
  think
• 24:47
  that
• 24:47
  is
• 24:47
  so
• 24:48
  vitally
• 24:48
  important
• 24:49
  for
• 24:49
  people
• 24:49
  listening.
• 24:50
  That
• 24:51
  is
• 24:51
  you
• 24:52
  learn
• 24:52
  to
• 24:52
  be
• 24:52
  a
• 24:52
  kid
• 24:52
  again,
• 24:53
  you
• 24:53
  know,
• 24:53
  re
• 24:54
  parent
• 24:55
  yourself
• 24:55
  like
• 24:56
  that
• 24:56
  little
• 24:56
  child
• 24:56
  that
• 24:57
  didn't
• 24:57
  get
• 24:57
  that
• 24:57
  love.
• 24:57
  I
• 24:58
  mean
• 24:58
  I
• 24:58
  still
• 24:58
  do
• 24:58
  it
• 24:58
  to
• 24:59
  this
• 24:59
  day
• 24:59
  when
• 24:59
  I'm
• 24:59
  like
• 25:00
  sad
• 25:00
  about
• 25:01
  something.
• 25:01
  I
• 25:01
  literally
• 25:01
  physically
• 25:02
  hug
• 25:02
  myself
• 25:03
  like,
• 25:03
  you
• 25:03
  got
• 25:03
  this
• 25:03
  girl,
• 25:04
  you're
• 25:04
  okay,
• 25:05
  you're
• 25:05
  safe.
• 25:05
  You
• 25:05
  know,
• 25:05
  I
• 25:06
  mean
• 25:06
  it
• 25:06
  is
• 25:07
  all
• 25:07
  those
• 25:08
  that,
• 25:09
  it's
• 25:09
  the
• 25:10
  child
• 25:10
  that,
• 25:10
  that
• 25:11
  runs
• 25:11
  your
• 25:12
  life.
• 25:12
  That
• 25:12
  inner
• 25:12
  child
• 25:13
  is
• 25:13
  like
• 25:13
  your
• 25:13
  subconscious
• 25:14
  mind
• 25:15
  and
• 25:15
  that
• 25:15
  is
• 25:15
  what
• 25:15
  is
• 25:15
  running
• 25:16
  your,
• 25:16
  it's
• 25:16
  not
• 25:16
  necessarily
• 25:17
  what's
• 25:17
  running
• 25:17
  your
• 25:17
  life,
• 25:18
  but
• 25:18
  it's
• 25:18
  what
• 25:18
  makes
• 25:18
  those
• 25:18
  split
• 25:19
  decisions.
• 25:20
  It's
• 25:21
  what
• 25:21
  makes
• 25:21
  you
• 25:21
  feel
• 25:21
  good
• 25:22
  or
• 25:22
  bad
• 25:22
  about
• 25:22
  yourself.
• 25:23
  It's
• 25:23
  what
• 25:23
  makes
• 25:24
  all
• 25:24
  of
• 25:24
  that
• 25:24
  stuff.
• 25:25
  So
• 25:25
  if
• 25:25
  you
• 25:25
  can
• 25:25
  go,
• 25:25
  the
• 25:25
  more
• 25:26
  you
• 25:26
  can
• 25:26
  go
• 25:26
  back
• 25:26
  and
• 25:26
  get
• 25:27
  in
• 25:27
  touch
• 25:27
  with
• 25:27
  that
• 25:28
  little
• 25:28
  Jody,
• 25:29
  the
• 25:30
  better,
• 25:30
  the
• 25:30
  better
• 25:31
  you're
• 25:31
  going
• 25:31
  to
• 25:31
  be.
• 25:32
  You
• 25:32
  are
• 25:32
  absolutely
• 25:33
  correct
• 25:34
  in
• 25:34
  that.
• 25:34
  And,
• 25:35
  and
• 25:35
  there
• 25:35
  the
• 25:36
  one,
• 25:36
  the
• 25:36
  most
• 25:36
  impactful
• 25:37
  therapist
• 25:37
  I
• 25:38
  had,
• 25:38
  he
• 25:38
  was
• 25:38
  the
• 25:38
  one
• 25:39
  I
• 25:39
  mentioned
• 25:39
  earlier
• 25:40
  about,
• 25:40
  who
• 25:40
  was
• 25:41
  an
• 25:41
  alcoholic
• 25:42
  in
• 25:42
  recovery
• 25:42
  himself.
• 25:43
  He
• 25:43
  had
• 25:43
  an
• 25:43
  alcoholic
• 25:44
  father.
• 25:45
  He
• 25:45
  challenged
• 25:46
  me
• 25:46
  to
• 25:46
  do
• 25:46
  a
• 25:47
  lot
• 25:47
  of
• 25:47
  that
• 25:47
  inner
• 25:47
  child
• 25:48
  work
• 25:48
  and
• 25:49
  I
• 25:49
  sort
• 25:49
  of
• 25:49
  laughed
• 25:49
  at
• 25:50
  him.
• 25:50
  It
• 25:50
  all
• 25:50
  seemed
• 25:51
  very
• 25:51
  corny
• 25:51
  to
• 25:51
  me
• 25:52
  and
• 25:52
  I
• 25:52
  thought,
• 25:53
  I
• 25:53
  don't,
• 25:53
  I
• 25:53
  don't
• 25:54
  need
• 25:54
  that.
• 25:54
  You
• 25:54
  know,
• 25:55
  I'm,
• 25:55
  I'm,
• 25:55
  I'm
• 25:56
  a
• 25:56
  strong,
• 25:56
  independent
• 25:57
  woman.
• 25:57
  I
• 25:58
  don't
• 25:58
  need
• 25:58
  to
• 25:58
  go
• 25:58
  back
• 25:59
  that
• 25:59
  far.
• 25:59
  And
• 26:00
  he
• 26:00
  said,
• 26:00
  just
• 26:00
  do
• 26:01
  me
• 26:01
  a
• 26:01
  favor
• 26:01
  and
• 26:02
  take
• 26:02
  a
• 26:02
  photo
• 26:03
  of
• 26:03
  yourself,
• 26:03
  maybe
• 26:04
  six
• 26:04
  or
• 26:04
  seven
• 26:04
  years
• 26:05
  old
• 26:05
  and
• 26:06
  post
• 26:06
  it
• 26:06
  somewhere
• 26:06
  in
• 26:06
  your
• 26:06
  house
• 26:07
  like
• 26:07
  on
• 26:07
  your
• 26:07
  refrigerator
• 26:08
  or
• 26:08
  your
• 26:08
  bathroom
• 26:09
  mirror
• 26:09
  or
• 26:09
  whatever.
• 26:10
  And
• 26:10
  I
• 26:10
  did
• 26:11
  it.
• 26:11
  And
• 26:12
  it,
• 26:12
  it
• 26:13
  absolutely
• 26:14
  shifted
• 26:15
  my
• 26:15
  view
• 26:16
  because
• 26:17
  I
• 26:17
  suddenly
• 26:17
  saw
• 26:18
  this
• 26:18
  innocent
• 26:18
  little
• 26:19
  kid,
• 26:19
  not
• 26:19
  as,
• 26:20
  as
• 26:20
  me
• 26:20
  as
• 26:20
  a
• 26:21
  seven
• 26:21
  year
• 26:21
  old,
• 26:21
  but
• 26:22
  this
• 26:22
  innocent
• 26:23
  kid.
• 26:23
  And,
• 26:24
  and
• 26:24
  I
• 26:24
  felt
• 26:25
  sad
• 26:25
  for
• 26:26
  her.
• 26:26
  I
• 26:26
  felt
• 26:26
  angry.
• 26:27
  Like
• 26:27
  this
• 26:28
  person,
• 26:28
  this
• 26:29
  young
• 26:29
  person
• 26:29
  was
• 26:29
  robbed
• 26:30
  and
• 26:31
  had
• 26:31
  to
• 26:31
  grow
• 26:31
  up
• 26:32
  way
• 26:32
  too
• 26:32
  fast.
• 26:33
  And
• 26:34
  in
• 26:34
  my
• 26:34
  next
• 26:35
  session
• 26:35
  after
• 26:35
  that,
• 26:36
  or
• 26:36
  I
• 26:36
  had
• 26:36
  that
• 26:37
  photo
• 26:37
  of
• 26:37
  myself
• 26:38
  taped
• 26:39
  up,
• 26:39
  he
• 26:40
  said,
• 26:40
  you
• 26:40
  know,
• 26:41
  how
• 26:41
  do
• 26:41
  you
• 26:41
  feel?
• 26:41
  And
• 26:42
  I
• 26:42
  said
• 26:43
  great.
• 26:43
  And
• 26:44
  it
• 26:44
  was
• 26:44
  the
• 26:44
  very
• 26:44
  first
• 26:45
  time
• 26:45
  that
• 26:45
  I
• 26:46
  had
• 26:46
  ever
• 26:46
  felt
• 26:46
  that
• 26:47
  emotion.
• 26:47
  Anger
• 26:48
  about
• 26:48
  everything.
• 26:49
  It
• 26:49
  had
• 26:49
  been
• 26:50
  sadness,
• 26:51
  sadness
• 26:52
  that
• 26:52
  my
• 26:52
  mother
• 26:53
  had
• 26:53
  had
• 26:53
  this
• 26:53
  issue,
• 26:54
  sadness
• 26:55
  that
• 26:55
  I
• 26:55
  experienced
• 26:56
  it,
• 26:56
  sadness
• 26:57
  that
• 26:57
  I
• 26:58
  failed
• 26:58
  to
• 26:59
  solve
• 26:59
  it
• 27:00
  like
• 27:00
  I
• 27:01
  wanted
• 27:01
  to
• 27:01
  my
• 27:01
  whole
• 27:02
  life.
• 27:02
  And
• 27:03
  I
• 27:03
  finally
• 27:03
  felt
• 27:04
  anger.
• 27:04
  And
• 27:05
  that
• 27:05
  emotion
• 27:06
  is
• 27:06
  what
• 27:07
  fueled
• 27:07
  me
• 27:07
  to
• 27:07
  start
• 27:08
  doing
• 27:08
  a
• 27:08
  lot
• 27:08
  more
• 27:09
  activities
• 27:09
  that
• 27:10
  I
• 27:10
  love
• 27:10
  to
• 27:10
  do.
• 27:11
  It
• 27:11
  really
• 27:11
  helped
• 27:12
  define
• 27:13
  my
• 27:13
  self
• 27:14
  care
• 27:14
  path
• 27:15
  and
• 27:15
  I
• 27:16
  started
• 27:16
  doing
• 27:16
  things
• 27:16
  I
• 27:17
  love
• 27:17
  to
• 27:17
  do,
• 27:17
  which
• 27:17
  opened
• 27:18
  up
• 27:18
  the
• 27:18
  door
• 27:18
  for
• 27:19
  new
• 27:19
  friend
• 27:19
  groups
• 27:20
  with
• 27:20
  people
• 27:20
  who
• 27:20
  had
• 27:21
  similar
• 27:21
  interests.
• 27:22
  And
• 27:23
  it
• 27:23
  really
• 27:23
  gave
• 27:24
  me
• 27:24
  a
• 27:24
  more
• 27:24
  fulfilled,
• 27:25
  joyful
• 27:26
  life.
• 27:27
  And
• 27:27
  it
• 27:27
  was
• 27:27
  all
• 27:27
  from
• 27:28
  that
• 27:28
  inner
• 27:29
  child
• 27:29
  work
• 27:29
  that
• 27:30
  started
• 27:30
  with
• 27:30
  the
• 27:30
  photo
• 27:31
  of
• 27:31
  myself
• 27:31
  on
• 27:31
  my
• 27:31
  bathroom
• 27:32
  mirror.
• 27:33
  You
• 27:34
  got
• 27:34
  it.
• 27:34
  I've
• 27:34
  done
• 27:35
  about,
• 27:35
  I
• 27:35
  would
• 27:35
  say,
• 27:35
  probably
• 27:36
  on
• 27:36
  and
• 27:36
  off,
• 27:36
  like
• 27:37
  six
• 27:37
  years.
• 27:37
  I
• 27:37
  mean,
• 27:38
  inner
• 27:38
  child
• 27:38
  work
• 27:39
  has
• 27:39
  just
• 27:39
  become
• 27:39
  a
• 27:39
  part
• 27:39
  of
• 27:40
  who
• 27:40
  I
• 27:40
  am,
• 27:40
  really.
• 27:41
  You
• 27:41
  know,
• 27:41
  I
• 27:41
  talk
• 27:41
  to
• 27:42
  that
• 27:42
  inner
• 27:42
  child.
• 27:42
  I.
• 27:43
  I
• 27:43
  acknowledge
• 27:44
  when
• 27:44
  something's
• 27:45
  going
• 27:45
  on,
• 27:45
  and
• 27:45
  I
• 27:45
  think,
• 27:46
  oh,
• 27:46
  that
• 27:46
  doesn't
• 27:46
  sound
• 27:46
  like
• 27:47
  me.
• 27:47
  Where'd
• 27:47
  that
• 27:47
  come
• 27:48
  from?
• 27:48
  I
• 27:48
  go
• 27:48
  right
• 27:49
  back
• 27:49
  there.
• 27:49
  Let's
• 27:49
  go
• 27:50
  right
• 27:50
  back
• 27:50
  there.
• 27:50
  Let's
• 27:50
  write
• 27:51
  her
• 27:51
  a
• 27:51
  lever
• 27:51
  letter.
• 27:52
  I
• 27:52
  do
• 27:53
  a
• 27:53
  lot
• 27:53
  of
• 27:53
  journaling,
• 27:54
  and
• 27:54
  when
• 27:54
  I
• 27:54
  write
• 27:54
  her
• 27:54
  letters,
• 27:55
  I
• 27:55
  always
• 27:56
  use
• 27:56
  the
• 27:56
  opposite
• 27:57
  hand
• 27:57
  and
• 27:57
  have
• 27:57
  her
• 27:58
  write
• 27:58
  one
• 27:58
  back.
• 27:59
  I
• 27:59
  don't
• 27:59
  know
• 27:59
  if
• 27:59
  you've
• 27:59
  ever
• 27:59
  tried
• 28:00
  anything
• 28:00
  like
• 28:00
  that.
• 28:01
  And
• 28:02
  the
• 28:02
  reasoning
• 28:02
  for
• 28:03
  that,
• 28:03
  they.
• 28:03
  The
• 28:04
  things
• 28:04
  that
• 28:04
  I've
• 28:04
  heard
• 28:04
  from
• 28:05
  psychologists
• 28:05
  and
• 28:06
  stuff
• 28:06
  is
• 28:06
  that
• 28:06
  when
• 28:06
  you
• 28:07
  use
• 28:07
  your
• 28:07
  opposite
• 28:07
  hand,
• 28:08
  you're
• 28:08
  pulling
• 28:09
  from
• 28:09
  the
• 28:09
  other
• 28:09
  side
• 28:09
  of
• 28:10
  your
• 28:10
  brain.
• 28:10
  You're
• 28:10
  kind
• 28:10
  of
• 28:11
  opening
• 28:11
  up
• 28:11
  more
• 28:11
  of
• 28:12
  the
• 28:12
  intuition
• 28:12
  side.
• 28:13
  All
• 28:13
  of
• 28:13
  this
• 28:13
  stuff,
• 28:14
  I
• 28:14
  think
• 28:15
  something
• 28:15
  different
• 28:16
  now.
• 28:16
  This
• 28:16
  is
• 28:16
  just
• 28:16
  me
• 28:16
  thinking,
• 28:17
  so
• 28:17
  who
• 28:18
  knows?
• 28:18
  You
• 28:18
  can
• 28:18
  take
• 28:19
  this
• 28:19
  with
• 28:19
  a
• 28:19
  grain
• 28:19
  of
• 28:19
  salt,
• 28:20
  but
• 28:20
  when
• 28:21
  you're
• 28:22
  writing
• 28:22
  with
• 28:22
  your
• 28:22
  opposite
• 28:23
  hand,
• 28:24
  you're
• 28:24
  focusing
• 28:25
  on
• 28:25
  the
• 28:26
  letters,
• 28:27
  not
• 28:27
  what
• 28:27
  you're
• 28:27
  actually
• 28:28
  saying.
• 28:28
  You're
• 28:28
  focusing
• 28:29
  on
• 28:29
  the.
• 28:30
  The
• 28:30
  purposely,
• 28:31
  like
• 28:31
  you
• 28:31
  know
• 28:31
  what
• 28:31
  you
• 28:32
  want
• 28:32
  to
• 28:32
  say.
• 28:32
  But
• 28:33
  I
• 28:33
  feel
• 28:33
  like
• 28:33
  when
• 28:33
  I
• 28:33
  do
• 28:34
  that,
• 28:34
  it
• 28:34
  takes
• 28:34
  the
• 28:34
  ego
• 28:35
  out
• 28:35
  of
• 28:35
  it.
• 28:35
  For
• 28:35
  me,
• 28:36
  it
• 28:36
  takes
• 28:36
  me
• 28:37
  out
• 28:37
  of
• 28:37
  it.
• 28:37
  And
• 28:37
  I'm
• 28:37
  just
• 28:38
  writing
• 28:38
  from
• 28:38
  her
• 28:39
  and
• 28:39
  focusing
• 28:39
  on
• 28:39
  the
• 28:39
  T
• 28:40
  and
• 28:40
  the
• 28:40
  H.
• 28:40
  And
• 28:41
  then
• 28:41
  I'll
• 28:41
  look
• 28:42
  down
• 28:42
  and
• 28:42
  like
• 28:42
  afterwards,
• 28:43
  and
• 28:43
  I'll
• 28:43
  read
• 28:43
  it
• 28:43
  like
• 28:43
  two
• 28:44
  days
• 28:44
  later
• 28:44
  and
• 28:44
  be
• 28:44
  like,
• 28:44
  oh,
• 28:45
  wow,
• 28:45
  that's
• 28:46
  kind
• 28:46
  of
• 28:46
  cool.
• 28:46
  Like,
• 28:46
  I
• 28:47
  never,
• 28:47
  like,
• 28:47
  literally,
• 28:48
  it's
• 28:48
  almost
• 28:48
  like.
• 28:50
  I
• 28:50
  don't
• 28:50
  want
• 28:50
  to
• 28:50
  say
• 28:50
  dissociating,
• 28:51
  but
• 28:51
  almost
• 28:51
  like
• 28:52
  I
• 28:52
  am.
• 28:52
  I'm
• 28:52
  literally.
• 28:53
  Yeah,
• 28:53
  I
• 28:54
  love
• 28:54
  that
• 28:54
  method.
• 28:54
  I'm
• 28:55
  going
• 28:55
  to
• 28:55
  try
• 28:55
  that
• 28:55
  for
• 28:55
  sure.
• 28:56
  That's
• 28:56
  a
• 28:56
  great
• 28:56
  idea.
• 28:57
  It
• 28:57
  made
• 28:57
  a
• 28:58
  really
• 28:58
  big
• 28:58
  difference
• 28:58
  to
• 28:59
  me.
• 28:59
  It
• 28:59
  really
• 28:59
  did.
• 29:00
  So
• 29:00
  great.
• 29:01
  This
• 29:01
  has
• 29:01
  been
• 29:01
  so
• 29:01
  much
• 29:02
  fun.
• 29:02
  I
• 29:02
  don't
• 29:02
  want
• 29:02
  to
• 29:02
  keep
• 29:02
  you
• 29:02
  all
• 29:03
  day.
• 29:03
  I
• 29:03
  know
• 29:03
  you
• 29:03
  are
• 29:03
  super
• 29:04
  busy,
• 29:04
  but
• 29:06
  I
• 29:06
  could
• 29:07
  talk
• 29:07
  to
• 29:07
  you
• 29:07
  all
• 29:07
  day.
• 29:07
  I
• 29:08
  mean,
• 29:08
  obviously
• 29:08
  we,
• 29:08
  you
• 29:09
  know,
• 29:09
  likewise.
• 29:10
  Yeah,
• 29:11
  I
• 29:11
  was
• 29:11
  gonna
• 29:11
  say
• 29:12
  it's.
• 29:12
  It's
• 29:12
  like
• 29:12
  being
• 29:12
  in
• 29:13
  a
• 29:13
  meeting
• 29:13
  now.
• 29:13
  I'm
• 29:14
  just
• 29:14
  kidding.
• 29:14
  But,
• 29:14
  yeah,
• 29:15
  those.
• 29:15
  There
• 29:16
  is
• 29:16
  so
• 29:16
  much
• 29:16
  power
• 29:17
  and
• 29:17
  community,
• 29:17
  and
• 29:18
  I
• 29:18
  tell
• 29:18
  people
• 29:18
  that
• 29:18
  all
• 29:19
  the
• 29:19
  time.
• 29:19
  And
• 29:19
  you
• 29:20
  have
• 29:20
  questions
• 29:20
  like
• 29:21
  that's
• 29:21
  why
• 29:21
  I
• 29:21
  do
• 29:21
  this
• 29:21
  podcast.
• 29:22
  If,
• 29:23
  if
• 29:23
  one
• 29:23
  person
• 29:24
  out
• 29:24
  of
• 29:24
  10,000
• 29:25
  goes,
• 29:25
  huh,
• 29:26
  maybe
• 29:26
  I'll
• 29:27
  try
• 29:27
  that.
• 29:27
  Or
• 29:27
  that
• 29:28
  sounds
• 29:28
  cool.
• 29:28
  Or
• 29:29
  let
• 29:29
  me.
• 29:29
  I
• 29:29
  never
• 29:29
  thought
• 29:30
  about
• 29:30
  that.
• 29:30
  I
• 29:31
  went
• 29:31
  back
• 29:31
  and
• 29:32
  I
• 29:32
  was
• 29:32
  one
• 29:32
  of
• 29:32
  kind
• 29:33
  of
• 29:33
  like
• 29:33
  you.
• 29:33
  I
• 29:33
  like
• 29:33
  to
• 29:33
  learn.
• 29:34
  I'm
• 29:34
  a
• 29:34
  chronic
• 29:34
  learner.
• 29:35
  So
• 29:36
  I
• 29:36
  had
• 29:36
  somebody
• 29:37
  say
• 29:37
  to
• 29:37
  me,
• 29:37
  hey,
• 29:37
  you
• 29:37
  ought
• 29:38
  to
• 29:38
  do
• 29:38
  nlp.
• 29:38
  Like,
• 29:39
  that
• 29:39
  might
• 29:39
  help
• 29:39
  you
• 29:39
  with
• 29:39
  your
• 29:40
  childhood
• 29:40
  stuff.
• 29:41
  So
• 29:41
  what
• 29:41
  do
• 29:41
  I
• 29:41
  do?
• 29:41
  I
• 29:41
  immediately
• 29:42
  go
• 29:42
  out
• 29:42
  and
• 29:42
  get
• 29:42
  certified
• 29:43
  to
• 29:43
  do
• 29:43
  nlp.
• 29:43
  Like,
• 29:44
  I'm,
• 29:44
  like,
• 29:44
  I.
• 29:44
  I'm
• 29:45
  not
• 29:45
  gonna
• 29:45
  let
• 29:45
  anybody
• 29:45
  try
• 29:46
  anything
• 29:46
  on
• 29:46
  me
• 29:46
  until
• 29:47
  I
• 29:47
  know
• 29:47
  what
• 29:47
  it's
• 29:47
  all
• 29:47
  about.
• 29:48
  But
• 29:49
  there's
• 29:50
  always
• 29:50
  learning.
• 29:51
  Like
• 29:51
  you
• 29:51
  said,
• 29:51
  there's
• 29:52
  always
• 29:52
  something.
• 29:53
  And
• 29:54
  oh,
• 29:54
  we,
• 29:54
  there's
• 29:55
  so
• 29:55
  much
• 29:55
  out
• 29:55
  there,
• 29:55
  guys.
• 29:56
  We
• 29:56
  are
• 29:56
  in
• 29:56
  a
• 29:56
  perfect
• 29:57
  world
• 29:57
  where
• 29:57
  there's
• 29:58
  so
• 29:58
  many
• 29:58
  resources
• 29:59
  for
• 29:59
  everybody.
• 30:00
  It
• 30:01
  shouldn't.
• 30:01
  All
• 30:02
  you
• 30:02
  need
• 30:02
  is
• 30:02
  one.
• 30:03
  One
• 30:03
  idea
• 30:04
  to
• 30:04
  spark.
• 30:04
  Wow.
• 30:05
  There's
• 30:05
  more.
• 30:05
  I
• 30:05
  can
• 30:06
  learn
• 30:06
  more
• 30:06
  or
• 30:07
  I
• 30:07
  can.
• 30:07
  I
• 30:07
  can
• 30:08
  be
• 30:08
  a
• 30:08
  little
• 30:08
  bit
• 30:08
  happier.
• 30:09
  And
• 30:10
  when
• 30:11
  you
• 30:11
  start,
• 30:11
  even
• 30:11
  if
• 30:11
  you
• 30:12
  don't
• 30:12
  exactly
• 30:13
  go
• 30:14
  ahead.
• 30:14
  Yeah.
• 30:14
  If
• 30:14
  you
• 30:14
  don't
• 30:14
  have
• 30:15
  the
• 30:15
  time
• 30:15
  even,
• 30:16
  you
• 30:16
  know,
• 30:16
  I
• 30:16
  started
• 30:16
  with
• 30:17
  one
• 30:17
  hour
• 30:17
  every
• 30:18
  week
• 30:18
  with
• 30:18
  one
• 30:18
  Al
• 30:18
  Anon
• 30:19
  meeting.
• 30:20
  And
• 30:20
  then
• 30:21
  I
• 30:21
  suddenly
• 30:21
  found
• 30:22
  the
• 30:22
  time
• 30:22
  miraculously.
• 30:23
  I
• 30:23
  had,
• 30:24
  you
• 30:24
  know,
• 30:24
  very
• 30:24
  demanding
• 30:25
  job
• 30:25
  as
• 30:26
  obviously
• 30:26
  very
• 30:27
  responsible
• 30:27
  at
• 30:27
  home
• 30:27
  for
• 30:28
  my
• 30:28
  sister.
• 30:28
  Lots
• 30:29
  of
• 30:29
  other
• 30:29
  things
• 30:29
  going
• 30:29
  on,
• 30:30
  but
• 30:30
  I
• 30:31
  started
• 30:31
  finding
• 30:31
  the
• 30:32
  time
• 30:32
  to
• 30:32
  put
• 30:32
  into
• 30:33
  it
• 30:33
  and
• 30:33
  it
• 30:33
  all
• 30:34
  just
• 30:34
  became
• 30:35
  clear
• 30:35
  what
• 30:35
  I
• 30:36
  needed
• 30:36
  to
• 30:36
  do.
• 30:37
  And
• 30:37
  I
• 30:37
  was
• 30:37
  forever
• 30:38
  grateful
• 30:39
  that
• 30:39
  I
• 30:39
  put
• 30:39
  those
• 30:40
  little
• 30:40
  bits
• 30:40
  of
• 30:40
  time
• 30:41
  into
• 30:41
  it
• 30:41
  because
• 30:41
  it's
• 30:42
  so
• 30:42
  more
• 30:42
  than
• 30:42
  worth
• 30:42
  it.
• 30:43
  Oh,
• 30:43
  yeah.
• 30:44
  And
• 30:44
  now
• 30:44
  that
• 30:44
  we
• 30:44
  have
• 30:44
  the
• 30:44
  Internet
• 30:45
  like
• 30:45
  you
• 30:45
  said,
• 30:46
  you
• 30:46
  could
• 30:46
  jump
• 30:47
  on
• 30:47
  right
• 30:47
  now
• 30:47
  and
• 30:47
  find
• 30:48
  20
• 30:48
  online
• 30:49
  Al
• 30:49
  Anon
• 30:49
  meetings.
• 30:50
  Yes.
• 30:50
  Yes.
• 30:51
  How
• 30:51
  fortunate
• 30:51
  we
• 30:52
  are
• 30:52
  in
• 30:52
  that
• 30:52
  way.
• 30:53
  Yes.
• 30:53
  You
• 30:53
  know,
• 30:53
  somehow
• 30:54
  I'll
• 30:54
  wake
• 30:54
  up
• 30:54
  sometimes
• 30:55
  in
• 30:55
  the
• 30:55
  middle
• 30:55
  of
• 30:55
  the
• 30:55
  night,
• 30:55
  it'll
• 30:55
  be
• 30:56
  4
• 30:56
  o'clock
• 30:56
  in
• 30:56
  the
• 30:56
  morning.
• 30:56
  I'm
• 30:56
  like,
• 30:57
  oh,
• 30:57
  there's
• 30:57
  got
• 30:57
  to
• 30:57
  be
• 30:57
  one
• 30:57
  going
• 30:58
  on
• 30:58
  at.
• 30:58
  In
• 30:59
  Germany,
• 30:59
  because
• 30:59
  it's
• 30:59
  10
• 31:00
  in
• 31:00
  the
• 31:00
  morning
• 31:00
  there.
• 31:01
  You
• 31:01
  just
• 31:01
  jump
• 31:01
  on
• 31:02
  like
• 31:02
  there's.
• 31:02
  It's
• 31:02
  so
• 31:03
  easy.
• 31:03
  But
• 31:04
  if
• 31:04
  people
• 31:04
  want
• 31:05
  to
• 31:05
  work
• 31:05
  with
• 31:05
  you
• 31:05
  or
• 31:05
  talk
• 31:06
  to
• 31:06
  you
• 31:06
  or
• 31:06
  get
• 31:06
  more
• 31:07
  of
• 31:07
  your
• 31:07
  information,
• 31:07
  what
• 31:07
  is
• 31:08
  the
• 31:08
  absolute
• 31:08
  best
• 31:09
  place
• 31:09
  and
• 31:09
  quickest
• 31:09
  place
• 31:10
  for
• 31:10
  them
• 31:10
  to
• 31:10
  access
• 31:10
  you?
• 31:12
  The
• 31:12
  best
• 31:12
  place
• 31:13
  is
• 31:13
  my
• 31:13
  website,
• 31:14
  jodlam.com.
• 31:16
  i
• 31:16
  there
• 31:16
  share
• 31:17
  tips
• 31:17
  and
• 31:17
  resources,
• 31:19
  a
• 31:19
  lot
• 31:19
  about
• 31:19
  my
• 31:19
  personal
• 31:20
  journey,
• 31:20
  what
• 31:20
  I
• 31:21
  learned
• 31:21
  along
• 31:21
  the
• 31:21
  way.
• 31:22
  I'm
• 31:22
  also
• 31:23
  on,
• 31:23
  you
• 31:23
  know,
• 31:23
  pretty
• 31:24
  much
• 31:24
  all
• 31:24
  the
• 31:24
  social
• 31:25
  platforms,
• 31:25
  YouTube,
• 31:26
  Instagram,
• 31:27
  Facebook.
• 31:28
  And
• 31:29
  right
• 31:29
  now
• 31:29
  I'm
• 31:29
  working
• 31:29
  on
• 31:29
  a
• 31:30
  memoir.
• 31:30
  So
• 31:30
  I'm
• 31:31
  really
• 31:31
  excited
• 31:31
  to
• 31:32
  Release
• 31:32
  that
• 31:33
  in
• 31:33
  2025.
• 31:34
  So
• 31:35
  if
• 31:35
  you're
• 31:35
  interested
• 31:35
  in
• 31:36
  learning
• 31:36
  more
• 31:37
  details
• 31:37
  about
• 31:37
  my
• 31:37
  story
• 31:38
  and
• 31:38
  what
• 31:38
  I
• 31:38
  learned,
• 31:39
  there's
• 31:39
  a
• 31:39
  sign
• 31:40
  up
• 31:40
  to
• 31:40
  my
• 31:40
  email
• 31:40
  list
• 31:41
  right
• 31:41
  on
• 31:41
  the
• 31:41
  homepage
• 31:42
  of
• 31:42
  my
• 31:43
  website,
• 31:43
  Jody
• 31:43
  Lamb.com
• 31:44
  and
• 31:45
  you
• 31:45
  sign
• 31:45
  up.
• 31:45
  You'll
• 31:45
  get
• 31:46
  tips
• 31:47
  and
• 31:47
  resources
• 31:47
  and
• 31:48
  be
• 31:48
  alerted
• 31:48
  when
• 31:48
  that
• 31:49
  book
• 31:49
  is
• 31:50
  available.
• 31:51
  Excited
• 31:51
  to
• 31:51
  share
• 31:53
  more
• 31:53
  details
• 31:53
  about
• 31:54
  my
• 31:54
  story.
• 31:54
  People
• 31:55
  ask
• 31:55
  me
• 31:55
  a
• 31:55
  lot
• 31:55
  of
• 31:56
  questions
• 31:56
  about
• 31:56
  it
• 31:57
  and
• 31:57
  I
• 31:57
  think
• 31:58
  it's
• 31:58
  very
• 31:58
  familiar
• 31:59
  to
• 32:00
  people.
• 32:00
  So
• 32:00
  really
• 32:01
  excited
• 32:01
  about
• 32:01
  next
• 32:02
  year
• 32:02
  for
• 32:02
  that.
• 32:03
  Oh,
• 32:03
  that'll
• 32:03
  be
• 32:03
  great.
• 32:04
  And
• 32:04
  we'll
• 32:04
  make
• 32:04
  sure.
• 32:04
  Just
• 32:05
  make
• 32:05
  sure
• 32:05
  you
• 32:05
  email
• 32:06
  me
• 32:06
  and
• 32:06
  I'll
• 32:06
  change
• 32:06
  the
• 32:07
  links
• 32:07
  in
• 32:07
  there
• 32:07
  so
• 32:07
  they
• 32:07
  can
• 32:07
  get
• 32:07
  a
• 32:08
  link
• 32:08
  to
• 32:08
  that
• 32:08
  book.
• 32:08
  But
• 32:09
  she
• 32:09
  is
• 32:09
  being
• 32:09
  very
• 32:09
  modest,
• 32:10
  guys.
• 32:10
  If
• 32:10
  you're
• 32:10
  out
• 32:11
  there
• 32:11
  listening,
• 32:11
  she
• 32:12
  has
• 32:12
  been
• 32:12
  a
• 32:13
  wealth
• 32:13
  of
• 32:13
  information
• 32:14
  for
• 32:14
  me
• 32:14
  for
• 32:14
  absolutely
• 32:15
  years.
• 32:16
  If
• 32:16
  I
• 32:16
  have
• 32:16
  any
• 32:17
  question
• 32:17
  about
• 32:17
  anything,
• 32:18
  I
• 32:18
  literally
• 32:18
  just
• 32:19
  go
• 32:19
  to
• 32:19
  Pinterest
• 32:19
  and
• 32:19
  Google
• 32:20
  it
• 32:20
  in
• 32:20
  or
• 32:21
  go
• 32:21
  to
• 32:21
  Pinterest
• 32:21
  and
• 32:22
  just
• 32:22
  type
• 32:22
  in
• 32:22
  the
• 32:22
  search
• 32:23
  like
• 32:23
  huh,
• 32:23
  codependency,
• 32:24
  Bam.
• 32:24
  And
• 32:25
  who
• 32:25
  comes
• 32:25
  up?
• 32:25
  Jody
• 32:26
  Lamb.
• 32:26
  And
• 32:27
  I
• 32:27
  read
• 32:27
  the
• 32:27
  article
• 32:27
  and
• 32:27
  I'm
• 32:27
  like,
• 32:28
  okay,
• 32:28
  that
• 32:28
  makes
• 32:28
  sense.
• 32:28
  Cool,
• 32:29
  thanks.
• 32:29
  You
• 32:29
  know,
• 32:30
  it's
• 32:30
  like
• 32:30
  literally
• 32:30
  I
• 32:30
  can
• 32:31
  get
• 32:31
  my
• 32:31
  daily
• 32:31
  dose
• 32:32
  just
• 32:32
  from
• 32:32
  you
• 32:32
  on
• 32:32
  social
• 32:33
  media,
• 32:33
  but
• 32:33
  you
• 32:34
  have
• 32:34
  a
• 32:34
  lot
• 32:34
  of
• 32:34
  good
• 32:35
  information.
• 32:35
  So
• 32:36
  definitely
• 32:36
  thank
• 32:36
  you
• 32:36
  very
• 32:36
  much.
• 32:37
  Yes,
• 32:37
  you're
• 32:38
  welcome.
• 32:38
  Definitely
• 32:38
  check
• 32:39
  out
• 32:39
  her
• 32:39
  website
• 32:40
  for
• 32:40
  sure.
• 32:41
  Now,
• 32:41
  if
• 32:41
  you
• 32:41
  had
• 32:41
  to
• 32:42
  leave
• 32:42
  the
• 32:42
  listeners
• 32:43
  and
• 32:43
  I
• 32:43
  know
• 32:43
  you've
• 32:43
  given
• 32:44
  a
• 32:44
  lot
• 32:44
  of
• 32:44
  golden
• 32:44
  nuggets
• 32:45
  and
• 32:45
  tips,
• 32:45
  but
• 32:45
  if
• 32:45
  you
• 32:46
  had
• 32:46
  to
• 32:46
  leave
• 32:46
  them
• 32:46
  with
• 32:47
  one,
• 32:48
  something
• 32:48
  tangible
• 32:49
  or
• 32:49
  some
• 32:49
  words
• 32:49
  of
• 32:50
  wisdom
• 32:50
  or
• 32:50
  just
• 32:50
  something
• 32:51
  to
• 32:51
  take
• 32:51
  with
• 32:51
  them
• 32:52
  today,
• 32:52
  what
• 32:53
  would
• 32:53
  it
• 32:53
  be?
• 32:56
  When
• 32:56
  I
• 32:57
  find
• 32:57
  myself
• 32:58
  faced
• 32:58
  with
• 32:59
  a
• 32:59
  decision
• 32:59
  every
• 33:00
  day,
• 33:00
  whether
• 33:01
  it's
• 33:01
  with
• 33:01
  a
• 33:02
  boundary,
• 33:02
  with
• 33:03
  my
• 33:03
  mother,
• 33:04
  with
• 33:04
  work,
• 33:05
  with
• 33:05
  people
• 33:06
  in
• 33:06
  my
• 33:06
  life,
• 33:07
  I
• 33:07
  ask
• 33:07
  myself
• 33:07
  a
• 33:08
  simple
• 33:08
  question
• 33:09
  and
• 33:09
  that
• 33:09
  is,
• 33:10
  is
• 33:10
  this
• 33:10
  good
• 33:11
  for
• 33:11
  you?
• 33:12
  And
• 33:12
  at
• 33:12
  first
• 33:13
  it
• 33:13
  felt
• 33:13
  very
• 33:13
  selfish
• 33:14
  to
• 33:14
  think
• 33:14
  like
• 33:15
  this
• 33:15
  because
• 33:16
  you
• 33:16
  know,
• 33:16
  my
• 33:16
  whole
• 33:16
  life
• 33:17
  I
• 33:17
  never
• 33:17
  put
• 33:18
  myself
• 33:18
  first.
• 33:19
  But
• 33:20
  it
• 33:20
  is
• 33:20
  so
• 33:20
  helpful
• 33:21
  in
• 33:22
  making
• 33:22
  decisions
• 33:23
  because
• 33:24
  most
• 33:24
  often
• 33:25
  it's
• 33:26
  not
• 33:26
  good
• 33:26
  for
• 33:27
  me.
• 33:27
  And
• 33:27
  it
• 33:27
  really
• 33:28
  helps
• 33:28
  guide
• 33:30
  in
• 33:30
  making
• 33:30
  the
• 33:30
  right
• 33:31
  decision
• 33:31
  in
• 33:32
  setting
• 33:32
  firm
• 33:33
  boundaries.
• 33:34
  And
• 33:34
  I've
• 33:34
  often
• 33:35
  found
• 33:35
  that
• 33:35
  what
• 33:35
  feels
• 33:36
  wrong
• 33:36
  in
• 33:37
  the
• 33:37
  moment
• 33:38
  is
• 33:38
  generally
• 33:39
  absolutely
• 33:40
  the
• 33:40
  right
• 33:41
  thing
• 33:41
  to
• 33:41
  do.
• 33:42
  And
• 33:43
  it's
• 33:43
  uncomfortable.
• 33:44
  But
• 33:44
  it's
• 33:44
  worth
• 33:45
  following
• 33:46
  your
• 33:47
  intuition
• 33:47
  and
• 33:48
  making
• 33:48
  that
• 33:48
  decision
• 33:49
  because
• 33:50
  it
• 33:50
  can
• 33:50
  be
• 33:51
  what
• 33:51
  makes
• 33:51
  or
• 33:52
  breaks
• 33:52
  your
• 33:52
  life
• 33:53
  and
• 33:53
  your
• 33:53
  life
• 33:54
  depends
• 33:54
  on
• 33:54
  it.
• 33:55
  So
• 33:55
  asking
• 33:56
  yourself
• 33:56
  that
• 33:56
  question
• 33:57
  can
• 33:57
  really
• 33:57
  be
• 33:58
  a
• 33:58
  guide.
• 33:59
  Wow,
• 34:00
  that's
• 34:00
  a
• 34:00
  good
• 34:00
  one.
• 34:00
  I
• 34:01
  haven't
• 34:01
  gotten
• 34:01
  that
• 34:01
  one.
• 34:01
  107
• 34:02
  episodes.
• 34:02
  I
• 34:03
  haven't
• 34:03
  gotten
• 34:03
  that
• 34:03
  one.
• 34:03
  But
• 34:04
  that
• 34:04
  is
• 34:04
  a
• 34:04
  perfect
• 34:05
  test
• 34:05
  is
• 34:06
  just
• 34:06
  ask
• 34:06
  yourself.
• 34:07
  It's
• 34:07
  very
• 34:07
  simple.
• 34:08
  It's
• 34:08
  cut
• 34:08
  and
• 34:08
  dry.
• 34:09
  Is
• 34:09
  this
• 34:09
  good
• 34:09
  for
• 34:10
  you?
• 34:10
  If
• 34:10
  it's
• 34:11
  not,
• 34:11
  don't
• 34:11
  do
• 34:12
  it.
• 34:12
  Don't
• 34:12
  entertain
• 34:13
  it.
• 34:13
  Don't
• 34:14
  let
• 34:14
  it
• 34:14
  in.
• 34:15
  Save
• 34:15
  your
• 34:16
  energy
• 34:16
  around
• 34:16
  your
• 34:17
  space
• 34:17
  like
• 34:17
  you
• 34:17
  deserve
• 34:18
  100%
• 34:20
  of
• 34:21
  that
• 34:21
  energy
• 34:21
  that
• 34:22
  is
• 34:22
  yours
• 34:23
  that
• 34:23
  you
• 34:23
  you
• 34:23
  love.
• 34:24
  Yeah,
• 34:25
  I
• 34:25
  love
• 34:25
  that.
• 34:26
  Well,
• 34:26
  thank
• 34:26
  you
• 34:27
  so
• 34:27
  much
• 34:27
  for
• 34:27
  coming
• 34:28
  on,
• 34:28
  Jodi.
• 34:29
  Oh,
• 34:29
  thank
• 34:29
  you,
• 34:30
  Tammy.
• 34:30
  I
• 34:30
  really
• 34:30
  enjoyed
• 34:31
  our
• 34:31
  conversation.
• 34:32
  Oh,
• 34:32
  yeah,
• 34:33
  absolutely.
• 34:33
  And
• 34:34
  maybe
• 34:34
  we'll
• 34:34
  have
• 34:34
  you
• 34:34
  back
• 34:35
  when
• 34:35
  your
• 34:35
  book
• 34:35
  launches,
• 34:35
  when
• 34:36
  your
• 34:36
  memoir
• 34:36
  launches.
• 34:37
  That
• 34:37
  would
• 34:37
  be
• 34:37
  fun.
• 34:37
  That'd
• 34:37
  be
• 34:38
  great.
• 34:38
  That
• 34:38
  would
• 34:38
  be
• 34:38
  super
• 34:39
  fun.
• 34:39
  And
• 34:40
  for
• 34:40
  everybody
• 34:40
  out
• 34:40
  there
• 34:41
  listening,
• 34:41
  you
• 34:41
  heard
• 34:41
  it.
• 34:42
  It
• 34:42
  doesn't
• 34:42
  matter,
• 34:42
  guys.
• 34:43
  What
• 34:43
  you
• 34:43
  went
• 34:43
  through.
• 34:44
  There
• 34:44
  is
• 34:44
  hope.
• 34:44
  There
• 34:44
  is
• 34:45
  healing.
• 34:45
  There
• 34:45
  is
• 34:46
  a
• 34:46
  happier
• 34:47
  you
• 34:47
  at
• 34:47
  the
• 34:47
  other
• 34:48
  side.
• 34:48
  You
• 34:48
  just
• 34:49
  got
• 34:49
  to
• 34:49
  learn
• 34:49
  where
• 34:50
  to
• 34:50
  look
• 34:50
  for
• 34:50
  it.
• 34:51
  Have
• 34:51
  a
• 34:51
  blessed
• 34:51
  day.
• 34:52
  Bye,
• 34:52
  guys.