Latest / The Trauma Therapist / Episode 771: A Mother, A Son, and an Incredible Podcast about Healing with Julie & Samuel Richards

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Episode 771: A Mother, A Son, and an Incredible Podcast about Healing with Julie & Samuel Richards · The Trauma Therapist

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All right, welcome back to the Trauma Therapist Podcast. My name is gay
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Meckferson. My mission is to help trauma therapist be their incredible selves, to
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be human, to be real, not just a clinician. I'm a big
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believer in who we are is more important than what we know, and this
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requires cultivating authenticity, genuineness, and vulnerability, and that requires intention. Can
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learn more about my courses and workshops by going to the Trauma Therapist project dot
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com. That's the Trauma Therapist Project dot com. Let's get started. So
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five four, three, two and one, our folks, welcome back to
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the podcast. Very excited to have my kist today. Julie and Samuel Richards,
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mother and son, co hosts of the Community Roots podcast. We welcome
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to the podcast. Yes, thanks so much for having us. Excited to
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be here. Guy, we've you know, we've chatted before. I'm glad
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we can do that, you know, in a postable sense. Yeah,
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yeah, Julie, welcome, Yes, thank you so much for having us.
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We're excited to be here. All right. So, Julie is a
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passionate learner and teacher focusing on empowering clients with deeper understanding to live a vibrant
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and fulfilling life with meaningful interpersonal relationships. As an adopted parent who's familiar with
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adoption, trauma, grief, and loss, Julie is able to empathically come
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alongside adoptive families and adoptees with steadfast support and compassionate care. Her heart was
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moved for adoption in two thousand and four, and she's been leading mission teams
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to China to serve and orphaned care ever since. Her son, Samuel,
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is co host of the podcast Advocate for Mental Health and What the it Brains
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behind the podcast. Yeah, yeah, I do all the editing and stuff
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like that, and so all the pain that went with, you know,
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years of doing that. But yeah, I think that sums it up pretty
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good. I'm I'm realizing maybe I should have sent a better intro than what
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we had. I'm flattered. Thanks, Thanks guy. Yes, that that
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sums it up pretty well. You're welcome. All right, So let's let's
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jump in here. How did this all start for you? How did how
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did the podcast start for you? When we be talking about the podcast,
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and maybe even let's take a step beyond that, go back a little a
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little further. Uh, let's start with you, Julie. How did this
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interest start, for this passion start for you? Definitely, a passion for
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mental health came out of a lot of well meaning household that I was raised
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in but didn't really have any context for mental health, healthy relationship, anything
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like that. And so I have been on a journey for decades for my
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own healing and growth and that process changed my life, changed my parenting.
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I was talking to our daughter is getting married in two weeks, and she
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was telling me that she remembers the first half of her childhood and she remembers
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like when things changed and we became almost a different family because so much emphasis
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was put on mental health and relationships. And so I think pursuing that with
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all my heart from the standpoint of how do we heal, how do we
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grow? How do we be just healthy humans? And really that passion spills
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out into all of my different relationships as just a wife, a mom,
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a friend, therapist is life. It's a life giving, lifelong process for
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me. And so as far as where that kind of joined the road with
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the podcast, Samuel and I have Samuel's firstborn and we have often had really
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deep conversations that have been really close connected, meaningful, and I remember the
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day that we were in the kitchen and he was asking me, Mom,
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how do you change the world. And I said, I think you get
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healthy and you have healthy relationships and healthy workplaces, and from that place,
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you're gonna be a world changer. And he said, great, let's do
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a podcast. Is that how you remember it to Samuel or yeah, I
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would say my memory is a little different when I think I was at work
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at the time, and I mean, you know, at the time,
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I was still figuring out my career and so I was able to have headphones
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on at work, and yeah, we were just talking for like hours and
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we were like, we should just record this, and so you know,
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at the at the time, we ended up hooking up together with the local
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radio station that was here. We just put two microphones and started recording it.
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And I'll admit I was trying to get mom to start her own business
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at that point, so it was a double win win. Yeah, I
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was not yet in private practice. Yeah, I was not yet in private
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practice, and so Samuel has always been a great encouragement to me and just
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I think you could go out and do private practice. And we can find
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you in office and all this kind of stuff. He's really been a big
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encourager and influence for me, and I think the podcast also kind of was
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a good context for that of like, okay, we could reach people in
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this way and offer I know, one of our passions is that it is
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offering something that is accessible to people. You know, it's free. Obviously
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there's some level of privilege that people have internet connection or they have a phone,
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and that there is that dynamic to it, but it's also easily accessible
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and widespread and you know, people and listeners in different countries and you know,
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getting connected in that way. So it's been a great reach, you
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know, to be able to be an encouragement to other people. I want
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to kind of get more in depth into the podcast, but before we do,
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where are you guys located. We're in Columbus, Ohio. Columbus,
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Ohio. Okay, So, Julie, you said, you know when you
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were talking about your daughter, she said, or you said, she said
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that she could identify like the early part and then the latter part of her
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life and when things shifted, and you said it was when you started focusing
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on mental health in the family, say more about that. I was raised
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in a family that was conservative Christian and have a faith that started in my
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childhood and that's always been important to me. But the only coping skill that
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I had was to do a Bible study, and so I did that for
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my teens and twenties, and about in my mid thirties, I realized there's
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a whole lot going on that this isn't touching, that I needed to go
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deeper. I needed to be able to kind of face some really hard realities
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that our family was going through, and I needed to kind of focus in
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more on doing some trauma work. And so that was life changing. I
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think, you know, I'm still a person of faith and that's important to
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me, but I have definitely seen a whole lot of pain in my own
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story but also in the people that I am able to accompany in their healing
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journey, and it just gives me a desire to create safe spaces for people
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to heal and to grow and to really be just authentic humans. Like there's
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no sense I can't tolerate the idea of a pedestal. You know that anybody
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would say, oh, they're so amazing and perfect and all of that it's
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like, that's not realistic, and that's not something that I would ever want,
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and it's not something that really promotes healing or growth in each other.
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And so I think if you would ask any of our family members, I
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am guessing and Samuel, you get to say whatever you want to about it.
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But I feel like the six of us in particular have been through a
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lot, and we have been I think learning as a family how to allow
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each person to authentically find what they are passionate about and what is important to
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them, and that we come alongside that and we support that and we learn,
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we get stretched outside of our comfort zone. I know I have certainly
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been challenged in so many ways, but it's been so worthwhile and it has
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taken us so much deeper. And I think we're learning together how to have
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healthy relationships and how to care for each other, and how to have hard
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conversations or hurt together or heal together. And that's something that I really didn't
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ever have growing up. I think I always wanted it, I always needed
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it, and I think it's getting to that place in my life where that
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priority kept me alive. But then I can pass that down to the next
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generation. And we can all kind of find our way together whatever that might
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look like. Sorry to cut you off there, Samueliz. As you're hearing
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your mom talk, what's coming up for you? What's your response? Well,
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I can remember a lot of that like shift. You know. What
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I would say that is awesome about mom is she went back to school,
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you know, in her forties. I don't remember LUs forty two, Yeah,
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awesome. I think forty one turning forty two. But yeah, you
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know, and I think it came from a place of you know, empowerment
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of you know, of a place of hey, I was impacted by this
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field, and I want to impact others with this field, you know.
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And so for me, I mean that's been able. I've been able to
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kind of see you know, lifelong education in that way, and even you
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know, it's been cool recently, like my brother going back to school and
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stuff like that. So it's something that you know, we see a couple
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of places. But yeah, you know, our family has been through a
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lot. I think in a lot of ways we are you know, trying
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to live with these new models of dealing with each dealing like with emotions,
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dealing with like a complex family situations, you know, we have a variety
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of beliefs in our house. We have different ways of eating food. Like
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with four kids, there's a lot of variety. There's a lot of stuff
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going on, and so, you know, it's been interesting. It's one
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of those you know, I mean, whenever I was in college, this
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is a wild story, but whenever I was in college, I remember thinking,
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I'm excited to have friends giving and be surrounded by friends whenever I have
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Thanksgiving dinner. And it actually happened to me three years later where I was
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around all my friends and you know, when I was sitting in this moment
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realizing this is what I wanted, I looked around and I was like,
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this is so much different than I realized it would be. I mean,
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it isn't any less, it's just different and deeper than I thought it would
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be. And in that same way, that's probably our family system where you
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know, if you'd say, Samuel at twenty eight, what would your family
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look like? It probably wouldn't look like what it is right now, but
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it is still a really cool, deeper thing that you know, we've found
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ways to you know, grow together and still grow independently and kind of improve
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on or just kind of change and put our own flair on what living as
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a Richard's may be. And so that's pretty cool. Look, you both
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have a pretty awesome dynamic. And if your podcast is anything like this,
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it's I'm sure it's amazing. We're going to get more into that. I
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just want to mind everyone speaking with a Julie and Samuel Richards's mother son team
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co host team of the community groups of podcasts. We're going to talk more
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about that. I just want to pause here for a moment to thank our
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sponsors. All Right, So you said, you know, you guys were
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sitting around, you were having these amazing conversations and you were like, we
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got to start a podcast. So how did that evolve? How did it
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practically literally take off? So I had been working with a group nearby called
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the Columbus Free Press and they in their backyard in this carriage house. It's
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a mansion in downtown Columbus, and in their backyard they have a carriage house
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that used to be a place, you know, for horses, but they
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redid the inside. It's now the headquarters of you know, a radio station,
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free press area where they publish articles. But anyway, so they have
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a radio station, so we thought, hey, they've got a recording studio,
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let's do it. They said, you know, hey, it sounds
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like a great idea. Let's just come out. I don't know, Mom,
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if you have any spaces there to bring I was going to bring out
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that. We started summer of probably twenty nineteen, and you weren't able to
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run the air conditioner at the same time that you were recording because it was
14:07
too loud. Boy. Yeah. And so there was one point that we
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were all recording and one person was talking and the other people were shading themselves
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and like opening the door opening closed just to get some airflow, and we
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had to stop recording because Mom was laughing too hard. But it kind of
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started that way. You know. There was a time that we recorded a
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couple episodes and we lost the recording or audio was messed up, and so
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early kind of struggles of just well, we're really going to learn about this
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topic. I guess we're talking about it a couple of times. So it
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kind of had that bumpy start. But we started on the radio WGRN,
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and the that we also kind of we're talking about how do we launch into
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you know, the online podcast kind of world, and so we looked at
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iTunes first kind of launched. The first five actually, our first probably twenty
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episodes still have the WGRN qualifiers in it. It's straight from the radio,
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so you'll hear all the stuff. But let me just jump in here for
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a second. So what was the original goal or hope of the podcast?
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Do you want to take this mom or do you want me to keep telling?
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Go ahead? I like, yeah, sure, I So it came
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from a place of one. I had recently moved to Columbus from Pittsburgh and
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was working on my mental health. So it was one of those I had
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been actively working on it for about a year. Mom was a therapist,
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and so it was a shared interest we had. The second thing was kind
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of what my touched on a little bit, which was how do we impact
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people in a way that they can have accessible, you know, free mental
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health services. Basically, our first three episodes were a quick how to guide
16:11
of crisis, you know, how to deal with being in the moment of
16:15
crisis. Our goal was, you know, if someone would come to you
16:21
and say, hey, I've just lost my housing or you know, my
16:23
friend just died, whatever, it wanted. We wanted to kind of create
16:26
those core three and so you can still listen to them. I think that
16:30
they're actually edited into one episode now. But since then it's kind of moved
16:36
and evolved into areas where we have talked to a lot of folks particularly inspired
16:41
by like PM melody strain of like therapy and stuff. But during the George
16:48
Floyd protests, we had talks with therapists who are working with activists. Like
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it's kind of grown to be more of this, you know, still a
17:00
mental health resource, but I think that we've talked about some serious trauma stuff
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and we've also talked about local Columbus events that are you know, affecting all
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of us. So it's kind of been, you know, a community route.
17:14
Yeah. I would also add just probably with the pandemic, there's such
17:17
a sense of isolation. You know that people really stayed home a lot,
17:21
worked at home a lot, and I think what we've really worked to develop
17:26
is a sense of community and undoing some of the aloneness so that they could
17:30
find some welcome and relationship and familiarity of getting to know us a little bit.
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Our episodes are really very I think relational, Like we laugh. We
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talk about deep things, we talk about hard things, but then we're also
17:47
just very real and you know, conversational, so it would sound just like
17:52
you're joining us for a cup of coffee or spending time together. And so
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I think having that sense of someone familiar, something that people can feel included
18:03
in, welcomed in, is an important piece of it. It's an important
18:07
part of the story to say that we don't have to be isolated, we
18:11
don't have to be alone. This is a way to get to know some
18:15
people that you know, we're reaching out with with support and hope and light
18:22
and encouragement and real authenticity that life is hard and not just silver lining kind
18:29
of stuff. And so yeah, hopefully that's a big part. Yeah,
18:33
there were a couple episodes where we sat down after you know, a tough
18:37
week that we had all had independently and just come and been you know.
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Actually, so we had been to one of your conferences guy, where you
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had you know, talked about some benefits of doing some podcast things one way
18:48
or another, and so we talked and we were just authentic. You know,
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hey, it's been a hard week, and so there's a level of
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authenticity that we've also tried to keep where it's just we're all living life.
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We're not perfect. You know, We've talked about some of our own struggles.
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We have this cool segment called Trail Mix where we go through and what
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I call it is basically group therapy for me and my One of our co
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hosts, Sarah Wakefield, who's great and mom, basically comes out with these
19:19
questions and we kind of pull away, you know, different perspectives on the
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questions as well as you know, I've noticed even with me and Sarah,
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some questions impact us more than others. So I might just phone in one
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answer and then give a real honest answer for another because it's you know,
19:37
gotten me on a base level. I want to go back to that,
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Samuel. So but before I do, just I just want to name the
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relationship between you two is pretty amazing. I mean, I think to be
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able to have us on Julie, that you're able to keep communicate on this
20:02
level about this stuff is really inspiring. You know. As as a father
20:07
myself, I would hope that I could do that at some point with my
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son. But how has it been for you? And then I want to
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ask you, Samuel, to do that because it's a huge deal. Here
20:22
we're not you know, it's it's it's very different, right, Not every
20:26
podcast has a mother and son and let alone talking about these topics. What
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what's it like for you? For me, it is really huge, It
20:38
is really enormous because my my family of origin is not so connected and I
20:45
don't resonate on that same deep level, and so I've tried to lean into
20:51
that more in our family now and you know, the next generation. I
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think it's it's all so hard in a way that I can't guarantee that my
21:04
kids feel the same way that I do about them. And so, for
21:07
all I know, Samuel's got all kinds of thoughts of well, here are
21:11
the things I wish were different, and here's what has you know, he'll
21:15
change for the next generation or whatever, And so I really respect that.
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I really as a mom, I have a huge heart for my kids.
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I absolutely truly adore them, like I feel very like a lot of joy.
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I've certainly felt stretched beyond my capacity at times because it's hard to parent,
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but the relationship really matters to me, and so I hope whenever they
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reflect as I go into eventually, you know, my later years that it'll
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be a good feeling of something that they feel connected and supported and loved.
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That's certainly been my hope. But at the same time, I also respect
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that I don't know how it lands for them, and so I find myself
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asking questions like that, and I don't know if they ever want to be
22:18
that honest with me or not. And so I think that's the hard part,
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you know what I mean about me being the host of this podcast,
22:26
you can ask the hard questions. What do you say? Seriously? I
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mean, what's your take on, you know, having your mom doing this
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podcast with your mom? And yeah, yeah, I mean, well,
22:40
so there is two there's like two parts to it, you know. The
22:44
first part is definitely I talk to a lot of folks who haven't had the
22:48
opportunity to, you know, have that connection either with their parents or with
22:53
their kids, and so I try to enjoy the moments, like we have
22:59
a side jokes. We come up with little catchphrases like feed your inner plant,
23:03
and so it's fun. It's you know, we tease mom for not
23:07
knowing any sort of uh, you know, uh reference that other people would
23:11
make, and so pop culture reference or something, and so it's it's kind
23:15
of like a fun energy where you know, I learn a lot. You
23:19
know, it's I'm able to be with mom, you know. Uh.
23:23
The other side is it gets to a point of we've been doing it for
23:27
four years and so I think that there are two results of that. And
23:30
I don't know if we've talked about this, but one is we have to
23:34
post every week, and so when work gets busy, I feel really bad
23:38
if I miss a posting, and that stress kind of adds up. But
23:42
you know, we have a good dynamic, the two of us. And
23:45
then the second thing is sometimes the project is exciting that that's what we'll talk
23:51
about where we'll be together for you know, an extended amount of time,
23:56
and we'll be talking about a lot of podcasting stuff. And so overall,
24:00
I would say I'm excited to continue to community roots. I know what we
24:06
would like to get it to a point is when we're like m seeing therapy
24:11
events. But and that's just because you know, that's something we've talked about
24:17
before. But yeah, I'm down to keep going. I think overall,
24:23
you know, we have been able to talk weeks on end, like week
24:26
after week, we've been able to you know, hear each each other's voices
24:33
past, you know, eighteen, which is hard to do. We meet
24:37
up more often, and you know, we've even been able to transition through
24:41
COVID. It's kind of proven some things like right now, Mom's at her
24:45
office and I'm at my work from home area, and so it's not even
24:51
something that physical presence, Like we've kind of even gone to a point where
24:55
you know, we're just able to work together. And then kind of something
24:57
you highlighted before is the cool dyno we've built. Sometimes we start episodes and
25:03
we don't know even the next thing that's going to come out of her mouth,
25:07
but we were able to wing it the one too. Uh. You
25:11
know, we have Sarah Wakefield who's really great as well. And is she
25:17
just a friend? Yeah, she was a guest on our podcast, okay,
25:22
uh, and she's Mom's friend. But it's really grown into a you
25:29
know, dynamic of the three of us. Well, you know, I
25:33
think she's been the host for her co host for like two and a half
25:37
three years now. Oh well, okay, So I would say it's awesome.
25:42
It's a great experience. I think that I'm going to look back and
25:48
we have such a treasure trove of videos and audio and stuff that I wonder
25:53
how many outtakes I have. That would be an interesting thing. I'll just
25:57
be But it was cool too. My youngest daughter was driving traveling over the
26:07
Labor Day holiday and she just sent a message that she was like, I've
26:11
been listening to Community Roots and she's like, Mommy, is such a soothing
26:15
voice, soothing podcast voice or something. And I thought, you know,
26:18
that is pretty neat that we have these conversations and these collections where we have
26:23
each other's voices recorded that at any time you feel like you want to bridge
26:29
the distance or the miles or just kind of hear that familiar voice, even
26:34
within the context of our family. I feel like that's a gift. I
26:37
know, I love hearing Samuel's voice. I mean, that's it's a gift
26:41
to have each other's voices. And so that's a pretty neat little bonus,
26:47
I think. But and in terms of like what is our family's impact on
26:52
you know, the world or the even like the collective footprint. If you'd
26:56
google our names, what would come up It would be, you know,
27:00
Emma's wedding photography and Community Roots and your therapy. So I think it's a
27:06
good impact, you know, in general, like a thing. We have
27:10
a couple episodes with me, mom and dad, so that's pretty like impactful.
27:14
We have episodes with me and mom and my youngest sister, So it's
27:18
almost like a treasure trove of our history in that way, but it's almost
27:22
an accessible resource, is it. Has it been challenging to open up to
27:30
each other in this process or did it just happen from the get go?
27:37
Has it evolved to a certain degree your ability to share your quote unquote imperfections
27:45
and your mental health struggles each of you? Well, I'll go first because
27:49
Mom can answer however she'd like, But I would say that whenever, our
27:56
relationship has been built on trust before this, and so we've routinely had conversations
28:03
about mental health, Like Mom has been a big support before this podcast.
28:10
And so this is at least in my eyes, not necessarily a growth necessarily
28:17
of our relationship, rather a solidification of like what it has been. And
28:26
I think for me, there is some sort of chemistry that happens in our
28:30
conversations that is just so Samuel could ask me anything and I would be happy
28:37
to lean in and to just give him my true heart and my honesty and
28:42
my struggle. And in a way that's kind of challenging as a parent because
28:48
you don't want them to think like, oh, you're struggling so much.
28:52
Are you even you know, capable of being in that role or something?
28:56
But instead I feel like I think part of of the sadness of my family
29:02
of origin not being closer is that there isn't that interpersonal connection and sharing and
29:11
in some ways just being known. And so for me, I'm really passionate
29:15
about I'm going to show up with all of me as a parent, as
29:22
a mom, as a person, and so probably I don't know. My
29:27
four kids have different personalities, each one of them. Some of them are
29:30
probably like too much, that's enough, we don't need to keep talking,
29:36
and others might be like we could talk the night away, I mean for
29:38
hours on end, and you know, I do my best to really support
29:47
what each person needs or wants. I think from my standpoint, I always
29:52
love being close, and I love sharing, and I love depth. Like
29:56
I tend to not really be very good at small talk, and that's part
29:57
of the pop culture reference of me going like I don't really know what people
30:02
are talking about with various references. You know, I'm more about the get
30:07
to the heart and not that everything has to be serious by any means.
30:11
We have great memories of lighthearted fun and my passion for football, and the
30:17
rest of the family just amused by watching me watch football. But it's just
30:22
there's a richness in that, just a connection in that that really matters to
30:26
me. And so I do my best to not overpower with that that they're
30:30
like, oh gosh, here goes mom or anything like that. I don't
30:33
know if they think that they might think that, but I do try to,
30:36
Like that's probably my challenge. But as far as willingness to open up
30:40
or let guard down, I feel like I'm all in. I'm like,
30:44
that's what life is about to me. Yeah, I mean, I think
30:47
that's beautiful. And I appreciate what you said Samuel as well. I think
30:51
for you, Julie, the modeling that is going on for your son,
30:56
I think is incredible. To be able to model being all in and showing
31:00
up and being authentic and being willing to say, you know what, I
31:03
don't know what the hell is going on, or I'm hurting in this area
31:07
or there's a challenge in this area because, let's face it, we're all
31:11
going through stuff to a certain degree. Uh, you know, all of
31:15
us. It's just part of being human. Or look, guys, as
31:18
we wind down here, how do people get in touch with you? I
31:22
mean, this is incredible. I you know, I did. I remember
31:26
talking to you both a while ago, but I don't remember the connection you
31:34
guys had, you know, and it's so uh, not just a connection,
31:41
but your ability to hold each other's space and to create this amazing uh
31:51
podcast is crazy. It's it's it's amazing. How do people get how do
31:56
people find out about the podcast? Yes, so at this point you can
32:00
just google community roots, Roots has spelled routes. You can also you know,
32:08
we're on Spotify, We're on iTunes. Mom has a website up with
32:13
the entire archive. You can go to Jhrcounseling dot com. But yeah,
32:21
we have some awesome stuff. We've really grown. We like segments, so
32:23
we have different artwork for a lot of our things. And we have Trail
32:28
Mix like I had mentioned before, which is kind of like a collection of
32:30
questions. We have Deep Breath that comes out every other week, which is
32:36
you know, one of the hosts. Normally Mom, you know, just
32:38
taking five minutes out of your day to kind of talk about a mental health
32:44
uplift. We have off the beaten path where we have guests come and so,
32:49
you know, it's one of those if you just pull up our page,
32:51
you'll kind of see a variety of what you might find interesting. You
32:54
know, influential art authors, you know, therapists or even just you know,
33:00
regular folks that are going through the struggles that you know, at least
33:04
I'm going through. So yeah, yeah, I don't know if Mom would
33:08
had anything else, but that's what I just had. Like the meaning that
33:12
we put in with the name of community roots, like Samuel said, routes.
33:16
I thought that was funny. So routes is how we spell the name
33:22
of the podcast. But that kind of represents a pathway that we are coming
33:24
alongside of people in this journey, in this kind of pilgrimage called life.
33:30
But then it's also a double meaning of the roots, of the depth of
33:35
how do we go deeper, how do we grow, how do we feel
33:38
grounded and supported and see that over time. So we really liked the double
33:45
meaning of it. We just have to spell it for people so they can
33:49
find it. And then when you see the logo, we had a dear
33:52
friend of Samuel's, Alexander Wells, that did the logos for us. The
33:58
main logo for Community Roots are like little houses, you know, and a
34:01
little sun and it's so it's just this sense of community, of relationship,
34:06
of connection and all of that. And so all of our segments are super
34:10
fun too, and people might identify with one or another and they have their
34:14
own logos too, but they're under that umbrella of Community Roots Roots awesome.
34:21
Well how that linked appear at the page at the Trauma Davis podcast dot com.
34:24
Folks, I'm excited to get this out there and help you get the
34:30
word out about the podcast. You folks are welcome back anytime. Thank you
34:37
so much. Yeah, I appreciate it. Guy, This has been great.
34:39
All right, We'll be in touch. So great to be with you.
34:43
Thanks. Love,