Latest / The Breakfast Club / DONKEY: Man Gets Stuck In Chimney Because He Thought He Was Santa Claus

Transcript

DONKEY: Man Gets Stuck In Chimney Because He Thought He Was Santa Claus · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: He gave me donkey other day, and I deserve that.
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You need to know what you need to tell them.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: I am you have them.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: It's time for Donkey of the Day.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: It's a read.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: But you're so good at Charlamagde.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: You want Charlamagde?
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Solomon, who do you give a dusky.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: The other day? Soon?
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: Sexy d Donkey of to Day for Wednesday, December eighteenth
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: goes to Robert Langleiss in Tunisia, eBay. They had thirty
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: three and thirty two years old, respectively, and they was
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: trying to duck the law. Okay, just like you did
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: last night. It's okay, all right. Somebody out there listening
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: to me right now. Ran from the police late last night,
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: early this morning. It happens, I understand, all right. One
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: of the best feelings in the world is running from
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: police and getting away.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Trust me, I know, I sold crack once.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Okay, When the police come to raise your spot and
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: you hit the woods and get away, what an exhilarating feeling. Now,
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: you shouldn't be doing illegal things that will make the
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: police come after you. I am not encouraging that. I'm
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: just simply saying that when you are doing illegal things
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: and the police come for you and you get away. Incredible. Now,
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Robin and Tania don't know what that feels like. No,
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: the officers tried to execute a warrant on a property
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: in Fall River, Massachusetts, and Robin and Tania tried to
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: get away, but it didn't work. Let's go to NBC
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: ten Boston for the report.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Police.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: No, that's not Santa Claus. You're looking at police body
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: camera video from Fall River. It shows a man there
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: stuck in a chimney where told officers executed a search
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: warrant at a home on Canal Street last night. That's
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: when thirty three year old Robert Langlace tried to evade
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: arrest by hiding in a chimney. It didn't work.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: He got stuck.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: Police had to call in the fire department to get
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: him out. Langlace is facing drug charges.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: See this is what happens when you believe in Santa Claus.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Every year, you all get mad at me for telling
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: the truth. No, Santa Claus is not real. Okayanta Clause
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: is not real. Santa Claus is not real. Number one,
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Reindeers don't fly, they do. Number two, you don't even
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: own a chimney. All right, number three, If you own
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: the chimney, wy would Santa Claus be able to fit
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: down it?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Have you seen Santa Claus.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: He's built exactly like former Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: All Right, there's no way, there's no way his big
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: ass could fit down the chimney. But you humans have
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: convinced yourselves that the story of Santa is real, and
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: being that you all think Santa is real, you think
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: what Santa does is real, and you thought your dumb
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: ass could just slide down the chimney and end up
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: wear exactly.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Huh in somebody's living room eating milk and cookies. Huh.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: Now, Robin and Tania will both charged with possession of
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: class A and B drugs and I had to look
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: that up.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Okay. Class A drugs in Massachusetts.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: Are heroin, morphine, meth, ecstasy, and ketamine. All right, Class
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: B drugs.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Somebody tell what you think Nick's ready drug tests up?
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: My god, Class B drugs of cocaine, crack lsd in, ecstasy. Okay, listen,
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: none of this is surprising in light of the circumstances.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Whoever made up the story of Santa Claus was high
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: as hell, okay, it's the only explanation, and the fact
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: we created this one size, fitched all story that doesn't
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: even make no damn sense hasn't even really stood the
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: test of time, if you think about it.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: We live in the era of Amazon.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: FedEx ups dropping packages off all types of day, all
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: times a night.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: But all Santa God is a.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Bag, one bag, like he a hole who just stayed
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: over for the night, and he got something for everybody
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: in the world, and just one bag dressed in all red.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: So he don't go to crip neighborhoods.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Huh.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Not to mention.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Nobody ever questions who exactly are the else? I don't
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: think they are else at all. I think Santa Claus
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: is engaging in child labor. Okay, if he's real, he
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: got a bunch of kids at the North Pole treating
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: him like slaves. Either that or they are desperate migrants
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: from Mexico and Santa Claus has benefiting from cheap illegal labor. Now,
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: some of y'all out there are saying yourself, Charlamage is
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: on the radio making up things about Santa Claus. If
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: you feel that way, then you two are on Class
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: A Class BE drugs. I'm making up things about a
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: made up thing. Yeah, tomorrow of the story is police
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: described Roberts Antics as Santa, Like, well is the season
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: please get Robert langlish the sweet sounds of the Hamilton.
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: So you all, oh the day, oh the day, ye.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Be so mad.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Because of Santa.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Santa Claus is real.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: I don't know why you even your ass all year
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: long to give a fat white man the credit for
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: taking care of your family.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't say Santa was white. I just said saying
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: it's real.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Well either way giving another man credit.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: But that is crazy though.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Santa is exactly what type of man gives another man
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: credit for taking care of his fami.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: He grew up Jehovah witness.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, oh my god, the whole community up dealing
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: with reality.
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: So yeah, so Santa Israel, and so the shelter cottle
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: bit being good out there. So that's right, thank you
• 4:59
  Speaker 6: so much, so Santa could get you toys, and the
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: Elvisanta watching you guys to make sure you guys are
• 5:06
  Speaker 6: doing the right thing so you can get more toys
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: from Santa.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: He has children, young children, Charlotte n Okay, who laugh
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: at us because they're like, why.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Are you trying to convince us that this entity is real.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: But kids, kids suit it for levels.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: If your kids know more about civil rights and everything,
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: he hasn't introduced that to them yet.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: So last all right, Jesus, I.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Ain't gonna I don't know the last time I seen
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: the chimney?
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: What is the chimley? What's scratched out? Stressed? When you
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: when you make up your words?
• 5:46
  Speaker 6: And I know it because you got your list for
• 5:48
  Speaker 6: going on, But I it's always been chimney for me.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. You got a five place. I have a
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: five place, but I don't have a chimley. If you
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: have a five place, you have a chimney.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Oh so what is it?
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Where is that in the attic?
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Is like?
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: The chimney. I don't know if I got a chimney?
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: You exactly an electric five place?
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: Though?
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Oh see now how you do that?
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: You have a chimney? Sir?
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: What an electric five place?
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know. And we know about houses.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: I know when we don't got Santa Claus. Okay, I
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: know we ain't got that. I know that much.
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: When we come back, Jason Lee will be joining us.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: So we're gonna kick it with Jay.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Jason Lee used to be built like Santa Claus, but
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: he's not no more. Drop on the clue. So think
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: about old Jason Lee sliding down the chimney.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: You believe that. No, it's not gonna happen.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: I hate this place, man, all right, it's the Breakfast Cloak,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Go Morning.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Donkey Today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: to Bull, Lamb and Soft.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: your side. If you're ever injured, go to Michael to
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Bull dot com. That's Michael to Bull dot com. And
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club