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Bonus IMPROV - A No-Tactile Date · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome to very fine France.
• 0:13
  Thank you.
• 0:14
  Appreciate that.
• 0:15
  You are always welcome here.
• 0:17
  Hey, I brought something.
• 0:17
  What'd you bring?
• 0:18
  A gift for you.
• 0:19
  Oh, can I unwrap it?
• 0:20
  Go ahead, unwrap it.
• 0:23
  It's bonus improv.
• 0:26
  Oh, you know what would go great with this gift?
• 0:29
  What?
• 0:29
  A suggestion from Joe.
• 0:30
  You're right.
• 0:32
  But I didn't bring anything.
• 0:34
  Oh, look again.
• 0:36
  Oh, just kidding.
• 0:39
  Oh.
• 0:41
  Let me reach down into my suggestion stack.
• 0:46
  All right.
• 0:47
  Your suggestion is blindness.
• 0:51
  Blindness.
• 0:54
  Hopefully this doesn't come across as insensitive.
• 0:57
  I'm not intending it to be.
• 0:59
  This is just a genuine thing I'm curious about.
• 1:03
  Would you rather be blind from birth or lose your sight?
• 1:09
  I think that's easy.
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  I don't ever want to have known this and then lose access to it.
• 1:18
  Okay, that's what I'm wondering.
• 1:20
  Yeah, it's too amazing.
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  I'm actually incredibly impressed by people who navigate the world without that sense.
• 1:28
  yeah I am too
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  it blows my mind
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  and actually and I love music
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  like
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  to the nth degree
• 1:38
  but I would rather be able to see
• 1:40
  than hear
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  yes I agree with that as well
• 1:42
  oh wait you would rather
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  be you'd rather be
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  100% blind
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  than deaf
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  100% I get more
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  I get more
• 1:54
  dopamine from auditory
• 1:57
  sensory experiences than visual sensory experiences.
• 2:00
  That's why he doesn't like sunsets.
• 2:02
  No, honestly, yeah.
• 2:03
  If I could hear a sunset, then we're chilling, but I can't.
• 2:07
  Here's the thing, too.
• 2:09
  I am sure, especially in 2026, year of our Lord, that there's so much technology.
• 2:17
  And people with any number of disabilities or whatever can do a lot.
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  and like they're independent and like it's amazing
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  especially like communication and like transportation
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  like they could do anything.
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  It's hard for me to imagine
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  because I'm
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  so like I'm not
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  in that world, you know?
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  So yeah, no that's
• 2:41
  I think we're on the same page then, you and I.
• 2:44
  Yeah, I think so.
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  Yeah.
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  Although I mean
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  I don't know, I go back and forth about I mean definitely
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  I would rather be deaf than
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  blind. Again, I'd hope
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  this doesn't come across as insensitive to anybody
• 2:57
  that is any of these things.
• 2:59
  Well, the deaf people won't.
• 3:06
  Just razzing, just razzing.
• 3:07
  Yeah. They laugh at that joke.
• 3:09
  You know who's hot, though?
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  Deaf people, if you're listening, and we know you
• 3:13
  aren't. Okay.
• 3:15
  Too far.
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  No, I was gonna say, there's this
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  super hot TikToker who is a sign language person and he he does videos Yeah And um
• 3:31
  I'm like,
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  it's sexy to watch.
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  Is the shirt on or off while he's doing these videos?
• 3:36
  I think it's on.
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  I'm looking at his hands and his face.
• 3:41
  Hmm.
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  You know?
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  Sure,
• 3:42
  Jan.
• 3:43
  Anyway,
• 3:44
  thanks for asking.
• 3:45
  Yeah.
• 3:48
  Okay.
• 3:49
  Yeah, but would you rather go out on a blind date or a deaf date?
• 3:53
  Well, I would need to learn ASL or I guess we could talk on a computer.
• 4:01
  If they were deaf, right?
• 4:03
  Like I could type and they could.
• 4:04
  Oh, no, I just mean like what's more important to you.
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  If you're about to go out on a date with someone you've never met before,
• 4:09
  would you rather know what they look like or what they sound like?
• 4:12
  Would I rather know what they look like or what they sound like?
• 4:14
  So like the blind date part of it is you don't know what the person looks like.
• 4:17
  But theoretically, you could have talked in advance.
• 4:19
  Exactly.
• 4:20
  Yeah.
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  Or would you rather have a picture of the person, but you've never had a conversation with them before?
• 4:25
  Probably that one.
• 4:26
  Really?
• 4:27
  Oh, really?
• 4:29
  Wait, we're in agreement on this?
• 4:31
  No, no.
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  I would take the conversation.
• 4:33
  Same.
• 4:33
  Yeah.
• 4:34
  Yeah.
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  You guys are, oh my God, this is a real triangle of verified friends.
• 4:37
  No, yeah, it's a Venn diagram.
• 4:38
  No, because like if they're hot, but they're freaking annoying to talk to, like, yeah, I'm not attracted to you.
• 4:45
  Yeah.
• 4:45
  I think I like the possibility.
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  you know what I mean
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  I think I like what could be
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  you mean like if you know what they sound like
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  but you don't know what they look like
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  no I mean the opposite
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  you know
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  I know but that's what they look like
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  there's no mystery there
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  but with like the voice it's like
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  there's still mystery
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  a little
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  I also feel like I can tell if someone's hot by their voice
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  no
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  that's not always true
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  I feel like 80% of the time it's true
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  Yeah, look at me, not a sexy voice
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  Yet
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  You're hot
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  Look at me, sexy voice, not hot
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  That's not true
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  I love all of it
• 5:29
  And now, improv
• 5:40
  I gotta be honest with you, Dave
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  Please, please
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  hold on Michelle
• 5:44
  let me put my beer down
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  it's down
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  this is
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  this is a first for me
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  I've never gone
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  on a date with someone
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  I haven't
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  I haven't
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  touched before
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  oh that makes a lot of sense
• 5:59
  yeah I'm usually
• 6:00
  it's like
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  I brush up against people
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  and then
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  and then I'm like
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  oh would you like to go on a date
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  based on
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  you know
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  how they feel
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  in my fingers
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  this is really weird
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  for me
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  I just
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  but you've never
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  you weren't able to touch me.
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  I didn't get a chance to touch you,
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  so this is like,
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  I feel like I'm going in
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  just like this is the biggest
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  roll of the dice
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  that I could,
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  it's making me feel
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  really nervous.
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  Is there anything I could do
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  to calm your nerves?
• 6:29
  Um,
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  no, I don't think so.
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  I think
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  we're here,
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  we're at the restaurant.
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  Do you want to touch me?
• 6:36
  No, I mean,
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  I want to be true to the experience.
• 6:40
  We're going on a
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  no tactile date.
• 6:43
  It's the first time I've ever agreed to this,
• 6:46
  but you really hot And we had amazing conversations on the phone And I just feel like
• 6:57
  it's just weird to not have touched you, you know?
• 6:59
  My last relationship was a guy that I met on the subway
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  because we both had our hands on the same pole
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  and his pinky finger kept rubbing against my index finger.
• 7:11
  And it was just like, oh, okay, well, this makes sense.
• 7:15
  Okay.
• 7:16
  I never once learned his name.
• 7:18
  We never talked.
• 7:20
  I think that's unusual, Michelle.
• 7:22
  I think...
• 7:23
  Really?
• 7:24
  Well, I'm just telling you, I've been on a lot of dates,
• 7:25
  and normally you don't touch the person before you go on a date with them.
• 7:31
  Really?
• 7:31
  Yeah, so this is interesting.
• 7:33
  That's such a foreign concept to me.
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  I normally just don't talk to the people.
• 7:40
  Occasionally, I don't even look at them.
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  I just feel them.
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  It's just...
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  I thought this is how the whole world did it.
• 7:46
  This almost sounds like frauding.
• 7:49
  Frauding?
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  What does that mean?
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  I think it's a fetish where people like to touch strangers in public.
• 7:53
  That's not you, though.
• 7:55
  Oh, no, no, no, no.
• 7:55
  I just do it as a way to get to know people.
• 7:58
  Okay.
• 7:58
  How else am I going to know if you're compatible with me or not?
• 8:00
  If I don't touch the skin on your forearm, how am I going to know?
• 8:08
  I just want to clear one thing first.
• 8:09
  What if your skin's really annoying?
• 8:11
  What?
• 8:11
  How could my skin be annoying?
• 8:12
  Oh, I've met some annoying skin.
• 8:14
  Trust me.
• 8:15
  Is that something I need to worry about?
• 8:17
  I don't think so.
• 8:18
  You'd look fine.
• 8:20
  Again, this is so weird being able to see you and hear you without having touched you.
• 8:26
  Okay.
• 8:26
  Well, would it make you feel better to maybe put a hood on?
• 8:30
  Maybe that will throw off your senses.
• 8:32
  Oh, yeah.
• 8:33
  Okay.
• 8:34
  Kind of give me the simulation of my last relationship where I didn't really know what he—
• 8:41
  Yeah, okay.
• 8:42
  Yeah.
• 8:42
  But I want to do this right, though.
• 8:44
  So, you know, my first non-tactile date, I don't want to give in real quick and just...
• 8:51
  I want to give you a shot, is what I'm trying to say.
• 8:53
  Well, I appreciate that.
• 8:53
  On some of your other merits.
• 8:57
  I volunteer.
• 8:59
  Oh, okay.
• 9:00
  All right.
• 9:01
  That's something.
• 9:01
  Where do you volunteer?
• 9:03
  I volunteer at downtown.
• 9:05
  Oh, they need so much help there.
• 9:08
  Yeah, and I'm happy to do that, you know?
• 9:10
  Yeah.
• 9:10
  And on the weekends, I groom feral cats.
• 9:14
  Oh. Oh, that's nice. So there's probably a lot of petting involved.
• 9:19
  Oh, a lot of petting, yes.
• 9:21
  Can you describe touching to me?
• 9:24
  Oh, well, sure. I mean, a lot of these cats have never really been held before, so I make sure to really grab on.
• 9:31
  Yeah, grab on.
• 9:32
  I put my hand over their back. I rub their head. I splay my fingers about on either side of their neck.
• 9:38
  Oh, yeah, splay.
• 9:39
  Yeah. I put my fingers between their toe pads.
• 9:43
  Oh, and then you know that cat.
• 9:45
  Then you really know that cat.
• 9:47
  Uh, yeah.
• 9:48
  Yeah.
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  I mean, it helps them more than it helps me, I think.
• 9:54
  But it helps you, too.
• 9:56
  It helps you, too, right?
• 9:57
  Yeah, sure.
• 9:58
  God, I miss it so much.
• 10:00
  Oh, okay.
• 10:00
  What do you do?
• 10:01
  What are your hobbies?
• 10:03
  Um, let's see.
• 10:06
  I, um...
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  I go to public pools and just start rousing games of Marco Polo And I always let them catch me
• 10:24
  That's your hobby?
• 10:25
  Well, yeah.
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  It's a way to kind of get people to touch me.
• 10:29
  And it makes them feel good.
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  And then that's just one thing that I do.
• 10:35
  That's just one thing.
• 10:37
  I'm not used to seeing people's eyes.
• 10:40
  but they,
• 10:41
  yours look a little judgmental.
• 10:43
  I do apologize, Michelle.
• 10:44
  I just,
• 10:45
  it seems to me,
• 10:46
  and please don't take this the wrong way,
• 10:48
  it seems to me that
• 10:49
  you're not really interested in dating,
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  you just want to touch.
• 10:52
  No, I am so interested in the,
• 10:54
  I'm just saying touch is the best way
• 10:55
  to know the real person.
• 10:58
  That's just,
• 11:00
  I think of all of the senses,
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  that's the one that
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  I use more than any other sense
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  in terms of,
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  it's my North Star,
• 11:08
  it's my guiding star.
• 11:09
  You know what?
• 11:10
  We should, let's, let's just, let's order.
• 11:14
  Okay.
• 11:16
  Later, we're ready to order.
• 11:18
  I'll have the mashed potatoes, no spoon.
• 11:25
  And also a bag of uncooked rice.
• 11:33
  Because I like to put my hands in it.
• 11:35
  Thank you.
• 11:38
  I'm good for now.
• 11:39
  You know, order something.
• 11:43
  I'm sorry, I've just thrown off.
• 11:44
  Do you want steel-cut oats?
• 11:47
  I bet you they have steel-cut oats here.
• 11:50
  No.
• 11:50
  Are you sure?
• 11:51
  No.
• 11:52
  They feel real good.
• 11:54
  I don't really—
• 11:55
  Steel-cut oats?
• 11:56
  Waiter, just for the table.
• 11:57
  Get some steel-cut oats.
• 11:59
  Thank you.
• 11:59
  Michelle, I don't usually touch my food like that.
• 12:02
  What?
• 12:02
  No, I eat it.
• 12:03
  I put it in my mouth.
• 12:05
  With your fingers, though, right?
• 12:07
  No, I use flatware.
• 12:08
  What?
• 12:09
  Oh, no.
• 12:10
  I mean, why would you say no spoon?
• 12:13
  Because they always try to give me a spoon, and I want to just shovel it right in.
• 12:17
  God, I want to feel, is it lumpy?
• 12:21
  Is it smooth?
• 12:22
  How much care did they put into this?
• 12:23
  Are they trying to do it rustic style, like grandma's?
• 12:27
  Can I feel how much butter is in it?
• 12:29
  I really get to know my potatoes before I consume them.
• 12:32
  That's really interesting.
• 12:33
  Ow, ow.
• 12:34
  Oh, God.
• 12:35
  Are you okay?
• 12:36
  Yeah, it's a little awkward.
• 12:38
  I normally wouldn't tell you this on the first date, but it's hard for me to wear clothes because I have a condition where my skin has bumps all over it like braille.
• 12:58
  It's what a doctor described as eminently tactile.
• 13:03
  And it's just a little embarrassing, I know.
• 13:07
  Are you okay?
• 13:08
  Michelle?
• 13:09
  What?
• 13:09
  Are you all right?
• 13:10
  Your whole body is like
• 13:11
  covered.
• 13:12
  It's like if you were
• 13:13
  Thumbelina,
• 13:14
  you could rock climbing.
• 13:16
  Whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 13:21
  Take off your clothes.
• 13:22
  What?
• 13:22
  Take off your clothes.
• 13:24
  Michelle, we're in a public restaurant.
• 13:25
  I'm sorry.
• 13:26
  I gotta feel you.
• 13:27
  Get off the table.
• 13:27
  I gotta feel you.
• 13:28
  Michelle, get off the table.
• 13:30
  Oh, here come the steel cutouts.
• 13:34
  Dean.
• 13:38
  you