Latest / The Perfect RIA / Encore Episode: Dealing with Head Trash

Transcript

Encore Episode: Dealing with Head Trash · The Perfect RIA

0:00
Jamie: This is Jamie Shilanski in an episode of Worlds to
0:03
Conquer where we are going to talk about the disgusting stinky
0:06
topic of head trash. Every single human being has it
0:10
whether you're a financial advisor, whether it's one of
0:13
your team members, or even your clients. I cannot tell you how
0:17
many conversations I have as a financial advisor, that they
0:21
turned to me and say really, you're my life coach, you're my
0:24
therapist, you're my counselor. He really helped me work through
0:28
these incredibly difficult conversations. And that is
0:32
because we talked about head trash and doubts and
0:35
insecurities and feelings of being unworthy. At The Perfect
0:38
RIA we often joke about well of course if you do that all your
0:42
clients are going to leave you you're going to be bankrupt and
0:46
destitute your wife's going to divorce your kids and never talk
0:50
to you and you're going to be living in a van down by the
0:54
river. Now what once we recognize that as our absolute
0:57
worst fear when we try to implement something, when we try
1:01
to change a process, we try to implement surge maybe for that
1:04
first time in your office. Your immediate instinct is this isn't
1:08
going to work. Oh God, what am I doing? I'm about to lose all of
1:12
my clients, all of my income, and all of these things started
1:16
unraveling mentally in your brain. Now once you've
1:19
articulated what those extreme worst fears are, generally that
1:23
planning mentality, that inspirational side of you kicks
1:27
in you say hold on a second. That's not true. That's probably
1:31
not going to happen. You're not going to lose all of your
1:34
clients. So you might lose some. You're not gonna lose all of
1:38
your income as long as there's air in your lungs and blood in
1:42
your veins and thoughts in your head. So you start walking
1:45
yourself back off of that ledge. But let's talk about how head
1:49
trash creeps in and what the best strategies are for
1:52
compartmentalizing it, taking that trash out and dealing with
1:56
it on a daily basis. And I want this to help you as the
2:00
listener, but I really wanted to help everyone whose lives you
2:04
touch and that could be your team. Because you're the leader
2:07
of that ship. That can be your co-workers because you really
2:11
want to see the best in them. That could be your spouse who
2:15
struggles with their own feelings of self worth. That
2:18
happens a lot in the financial planning space. Oftentimes
2:22
because financial advisors end up being the higher income
2:25
earners and then that creates a lot of economic disparity in
2:29
household about self worry. This could also be for your kids. If
2:33
you're raising littles whether they're your own biological
2:36
children, you've adopted, they're stepchildren, they're
2:40
neighborhood kids that you want to make a powerful difference on
2:44
or they're your nieces and nephews, every one that you come
2:48
in contact with that you have an opportunity to lead in a
2:51
spiritual and mental dialogue about dealing with head trash
2:55
taking it out and making sure it doesn't corrupt and manifest
2:59
your life prohibiting you from achieving the greatness that is
3:02
within is someone that you should be talking to about head
3:06
trash and how to deal with it, how to take out the head trash.
3:10
So think in your mind right now all those doubts and
3:13
insecurities about when you feel not good enough if you're a
3:17
financial adviser, how about this one right off the bat when
3:21
a client looks at you and says Why should I pay you that much?
3:25
What value am I getting out of this relationship? Maybe it's
3:28
when you're onboarding a new client, maybe when it's you're
3:32
about to go and raise their fees, but they turn that table
3:36
and they ask you for justification on why they should
3:39
pay you for what is essentially your personal advice. That's
3:43
what we're in the business of selling. If you're a team member
3:46
and your financial advisor comes to you and says hey, I'm
3:50
trusting you to do right by my clients. I'm going to be out of
3:54
contact for X amount of time. You feel a lot of internalized
3:58
pressure and responsibility. Oh dear God, do I know what I'm
4:01
doing? Since maybe I don't have a professional education or
4:05
collegiate education. Maybe I don't have licenses and
4:08
designations, how maybe I really am an impostor and I don't know
4:12
what I'm doing here or how I was able to keep my job so long. We
4:16
all have these doubts and insecurities that creep up in
4:20
us. I was just listening to an incredible story about an NFL
4:24
player who took an injury in 2017 became paralyzed from the
4:27
waist down. And the doctors of course, said he would never walk
4:31
again. His wife rallied in support and chew out every
4:34
single doctor who came in with that type of negative energy.
4:38
His mother would camp outside of his hospital door every single
4:42
day he was hospitalized. And before anyone was allowed
4:45
admittance into her son's room they had to affirm and believe
4:49
two things. One, that they believe that he would walk again
4:53
that they would 100% fully, physically, spiritually commit
4:57
to the resolution that he would walk again. Despite every
5:00
medical diagnosis. And second of all, that they would affirm that
5:04
in the presence of him in his hospital bed, they would not be
5:08
sad, they would not cry, they would not feel remorse, they
5:12
would not feel pity for him, but instead they would come in in a
5:16
positive affirming and jovial spirit and if you dare to break
5:19
down and cry in her son's room, she was boot you like the
5:23
biggest bodyguard possible. Why? Because she didn't want her son
5:27
to shoulder the burden responsibility of other people's
5:30
feelings. And if you have been in a situation where you have
5:34
experienced significant grief or loss, you understand this better
5:38
than anyone because when somebody comes up to you and
5:41
says I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say to you and they
5:45
start breaking down. You are in this terrible place of now
5:49
having to make everything better for them. So how did this mother
5:53
get so fearce? She was also married to a spiritual and a
5:56
chaplain for the NFL. And they raise their son to believe that
6:00
every single person is born with an internal trash bag. And a lot
6:04
of times day to day we fill it with our own trash, we fill it
6:08
with our own rubbish and he imparted to his son that it is
6:12
his responsibility as a spouse, as a father, as a human being in
6:16
society to recognize when other people's trash is too heavy for
6:20
them to carry alone, and it was his responsibility when you
6:23
recognize the trash was too heavy to gather that trash and
6:27
help the person take it out. And because you listen to The
6:30
Perfect RIA podcast and you know how much we talk about best
6:34
practices and execution and always striving for powerful
6:38
ways that we can change the financial planning industry. You
6:41
understand this. You probably identify with so many people
6:45
that you can see the expression on the face, the tone of their
6:49
voice that countenance when you walk in the room, that they are
6:53
carrying around a lot of trash and you feel an eternal
6:56
responsibility to help them take it out. And you might be
7:00
phenomenal at recognizing when other people have head trash.
7:03
But what happens when it's your head trash? What happens when
7:07
it's you who needs help carrying it out, and you might get a lot
7:11
of shame and a lot of privacy around your own mental head
7:15
trash because you are the person whose shoulders burdens for
7:19
others and you are not the type of person who goes around and
7:22
complains or unloads or gives other people your worries your
7:26
doubts your insecurities because you're not supposed to, right?
7:30
You're supposed to be the problem solver for everyone. You
7:34
are the type of person that everyone in your friend grip
7:37
says is the most adult person that they know the most
7:40
successful, the most put together they are the ones that
7:44
are constantly reinforcing to the community of your friends.
7:48
Your co workers, your peers, your clients, how wonderful you
7:51
are and how you help them solve so many of their life problems.
7:55
So who do you turn to? Who do you unload on? Who do you give
7:59
your burdens to? Many of you listening share similar faith to
8:03
my own in which we believe in a God that is willing to shoulder
8:07
every burden that we possibly have in this lifetime. But
8:10
that's also a very silent exchange when we pray when we
8:14
think when we meditate or whatever you call your spiritual
8:17
connection to something else, something greater than just
8:21
yourself in the world is generally a very quiet
8:24
experience. There's
8:25
not a lot of feedback that we're getting when we put this energy
8:28
out into the world. And for some of you listening, that
8:31
experience of you communicating you praying, you meditating, you
8:35
connecting with your deity may be enough that you may give to
8:38
God and let go and find that to be adequate. But for those of
8:42
you that need a community or feel guilty for wanting a
8:45
community, remember that where there is no guidance of people
8:48
will fall but in the abundance of counselors there is safety
8:51
and that comes to us from Proverbs, right? Because each of
8:54
us has received a gift and we need to use it to serve one
8:58
another as good stewards of God's very grace and passion and
9:01
love and understanding that he has bestowed in each of us. So
9:04
there's nothing wrong with wanting a community of
9:07
counselors wanting a peer group of academics and people that you
9:11
can bounce ideas off of and also address these real concerns that
9:14
you have these doubts these fears these insecurities and
9:17
there are two ways here at The Perfect RIA that we tackle that
9:21
ambition. And the first one is masterminds so if you haven't
9:24
attended a mastermind before, this is where you get a group of
9:27
like minded professionals in your particular either community
9:31
or career space or some other identifying in trade that you
9:34
maybe you guys share in common you need to regularly so one of
9:38
the big things here is that you can't just do this virtual in my
9:41
opinion, I think you've got to pick yourself up you got to go
9:44
join a group because if you're anything like me when it's
9:48
virtual, I've got my camera on I've got my computer up but I'm
9:51
probably doing three or four other things, because the pace
9:54
of the conversation maybe isn't as fast as I would like it to go
9:58
or maybe I'm not getting value out of what's happening, or
10:01
whatever the excuse is, I'm finding a reason to disengage
10:04
and get other conquering done. But when you're in person, you
10:08
really have to shut all those devices off. You've got to be
10:11
present. You've got to be in the moment. You've got to pick up on
10:14
other people's vibes and energy. You've got to listen
10:17
empathetically and especially like if you've ever attended The
10:21
Perfect RIA's masterminds, holy cow, not only will you be in a
10:24
group of like minded peers that are having the same struggles,
10:28
the same doubts, the same insecurities. We all have our
10:31
variances, right? They might be a little different for each of
10:34
us. But we really want to get back to those root of things. It
10:38
all ends with us losing all of our clients being absolutely
10:41
broke and living in a van down by the river, right. So you're
10:44
around these people that have those same concerns that you do
10:48
and when you're in these mastermind groups gets pretty
10:51
darn intimate. And you got to unpack not only what your goals
10:54
are ambition, right, because that's a lot about what The
10:57
Perfect RIA is is establishing goals, policies processes in the
11:00
pursuit of perfection. That is what we are after. Not because
11:04
we're egomaniacs, but because we believe we were put on this
11:07
earth in order to impact as many lives as possible and as
11:10
financial players we have a unique opportunity to radically
11:14
change lives and this goes down to every single heartbeat. How
11:17
many clients can you think of right now? That where you know
11:20
that they're the one they're the one in their family that broke a
11:24
tradition of economic impoverishment? How many clients
11:27
can you think of that they broke a cycle within their family and
11:30
maybe it was a dysfunctional maybe it was an impoverished?
11:34
Maybe it was an under educated or underprivileged. But I
11:37
guarantee you probably have clients that you relate to
11:40
because you watch them bootstrap themselves up and have the
11:43
wherewithal to hire a financial planner. Because in the United
11:46
States of America, we do not teach our children about money.
11:50
Any lessons that we learn about money or learn from our parents,
11:53
and how we watch them spend money or lose money growing up.
11:57
I cannot think of another profession that allows us to
12:00
have so much impact on not only the single individual, but the
12:03
wife and the husband, husband and wife and wife and whatever
12:06
that situation is in order to change the lives of their
12:09
children. I cannot tell you how many clients have said, Hey,
12:13
I've taken what you've told me and I've told my children this
12:16
is now how we're running things in our household because I don't
12:20
want them to make the same mistakes as I did. And I want
12:23
them to get started early because I did not hire you until
12:26
I was in my 40s had you grabbed me right out of college when I
12:29
got my first real job before I knew what money really was. My
12:33
god life would have been so much more simple. And I want that for
12:36
my children. I have Floyd and I when we meet with financial
12:40
clients or planning clients today, we have so many adult
12:43
children that knocked on our door that say, Hey, I just
12:46
returned my profession. I've got my first real job. I've got my
12:49
first real benefits package. What do I do? And I love working
12:53
with those adult children because they are willing to take
12:56
advice and they are willing to pay for advice, but we cannot
12:59
change lives. We cannot empower people we can not help them make
13:03
a difference if we are not taking introspective time to
13:06
make a difference in our own lives. So joining these
13:08
masterminds, joining these peer groups that you are radically
13:12
getting something out of and that's where you've got to be
13:15
super discerning about who you join. There are a lot of
13:18
business organizations, rotaries, clubs that you can
13:21
join. A lot of times financial advisors join these groups with
13:24
the idea of that's how they're going to prospect or market if
13:28
you're successful with that fantastic. I don't find a lot of
13:31
success in that myself. But if you have great but these people
13:35
have to challenge you. These people have to make you
13:37
uncomfortable. You need to be able to financially and
13:40
emotionally undress with these people. And if they're your
13:44
peers, or they're somebody that you're going to see me sitting
13:47
in the pew on Sunday with you might not be comfortable doing
13:50
that. So find your tribe, find your organization find your
13:54
group. If you're a member of The Perfect RIA you probably already
13:57
found that and if you haven't raised your hand and say hey, I
14:00
need to be hooked up with a group of like minded peers.
14:04
Here's one of them. After that you will email us you need to
14:07
jump into the backstage. You need to start a mastermind
14:10
group. You need to join one of the masterminds that we host
14:13
every single year. But you have to find your community. And
14:16
there's a lot of truth and comfort and finding people that
14:20
are complete strangers to who you are. Because now you don't
14:23
have all that relationship building behind you, right? You
14:26
don't have to have those feelings of shame or
14:29
embarrassment when you're talking to somebody that maybe
14:32
you know from attending several conferences, or they're a co
14:35
worker of yours, and you don't want them to see you in those
14:38
states of vulnerability. So sometimes complete stranger
14:41
groups are saying hey, I said these different don't know
14:45
graphics I fit these different career goals. Do you have anyone
14:48
that I can connect with can be very powerful. Masterminds are
14:51
so important, not only for you as a financial advisor, so that
14:55
you can articulate your head trash. You can deal with people
14:58
that are problem solvers and can tell you no really you do have a
15:02
problem. Or hey, that problems between your ears and here's
15:05
what you need to do to compartmentalize it, you're
15:08
going to deal with solution oriented people. Really
15:11
important for you as a financial advisor. This is refilling your
15:14
cup. This is usually the counsel of like really good peers to
15:18
help you get where you want to be going. This is also really
15:21
important for your team. At Shilanski and Associates we have
15:24
to leads and they run our operations and our relationship
15:27
management team. We just sent them down to Arizona. They all
15:31
rented an Airbnb with three other practices. We brought in a
15:34
day coach to work with every single one of them, and then
15:37
they ping pong with their peers. What works in your office, what
15:41
are the breaking points? How do you phrase this? How do you deal
15:44
with that? They sat down, they had an agenda, they problem
15:47
solved. And when they came back from that we were getting
15:51
pictures and texts and thank yous from our leads while they
15:54
were there. And so this has been so incredibly powerful. It was
15:57
really great for us to talk to other professionals that work
16:01
and operate in the same space and learn about what they're
16:04
doing and also get to share about what we're doing because
16:07
they offered us really positive constructive feedback and our
16:10
leads were clamoring to do this. They didn't jump up and down and
16:14
say oh my gosh, can you believe we put together a mastermind?
16:17
This is something we sort of formed especially with my ops
16:21
team, which are pretty hard people to move because they like
16:24
steadiness and consistency. And I knew talking about this with
16:27
the ops team, there would be no sense of joy or excitement about
16:31
doing it. I know that leading up to it, there would be very
16:34
little participation. But I also knew that once she was there and
16:38
once she started talking to peers, and to kind of turn off
16:41
the office and start focusing on her career, she would take
16:44
radical strides to get involved with that. And that would be a
16:48
very positive experience for her just maybe not leading up to it
16:51
and fear and anticipation of what that event might be like.
16:54
Now, our relationship manager, total cheerleader, right.
16:57
Literally a coach cheerleader, so I knew that she was going to
17:01
rally behind this and think it was so great and a wonderful
17:04
opportunity. And she did right and then as soon as she went
17:07
there, she was connecting with people she was able to leave the
17:11
conversations and sort of really get the ops people out of their
17:14
own way and you're participating in the event and both of them
17:18
while they were there. And then once they return said I cannot
17:21
believe that you thought to put this together for us. This was
17:25
so great, we really kind of experience why you guys get so
17:28
excited about going to masterminds and the energy that
17:31
you have when you return from those events. We get it we see
17:34
it. It was really powerful for us to connect with peers. And
17:38
guess what that coach did. And by the way, it was a coach,
17:41
right? It was a third party. It wasn't one of us going there to
17:44
that event. Why? Because one it needed to feel special. And two,
17:48
there's power with a stranger in a uniform. So we're all familiar
17:51
with Micah's role. We all have these little marital rules right
17:55
like a dishwasher rule. And he says if your wife does not see
17:58
you do the dishes did you actually do the dishes? Whenever
18:01
Micah does the dishes in his household which is actually very
18:05
frequently he will holler out to his wife, my sister in law Kelly
18:08
and say, Hey, Kelly just loaded up the dishwasher, did you need
18:12
to add a plate or copper spoon, you know, whatever that is, and
18:15
she'll get a chuckle out of it because now she's known after so
18:19
many years of marriage, he's intentionally so that she later
18:22
cannot say you never helped with the household, I'm the only one
18:26
always have to do these things etc. And in my house with my
18:29
spouse I call it this stranger in a uniform role. I could be a
18:32
complete expert on a subject and do it for a profession every
18:36
single day of my life, and my spouse will still doubt my
18:39
information was credible. But a person a complete stranger
18:42
walking down the road might say the exact same thing that I said
18:46
to them. And they will have more authority over my spouse's
18:49
decision than I will. It's a stranger in a uniform. Come on,
18:52
be honest with yourself. How many times have you told your
18:55
spouse something that a complete stranger says the exact same
18:59
thing and what they said holds more truth than what you did?
19:02
And it's not because they don't love you. It's not because they
19:06
don't believe in you. It's because they just need to hear
19:09
it from a stranger in a uniform. So when we hire an outside coach
19:12
and we bring it in for our team, it's a stranger in a uniform
19:16
that gets to tell them these things and also we're not
19:19
omnipotent. You know, somebody that's completely unbiased to
19:22
our team and doesn't know their background or culture or how
19:25
things work. Word might pick up on things that we completely
19:29
missed, because we're so inundated and so saturated in
19:32
those cultural environments. The next part of this is that we
19:35
also give our team members a mission. So every time they go
19:38
to something for their professional development, if
19:41
it's an online course, if it's a book that they're reading, if
19:45
it's a conference or if it's a peer group mastermind, they have
19:48
to come away with one implemental idea. So one idea
19:51
that they can immediately take action on and implement. And it
19:54
doesn't have to be radical right. Sometimes we forget that
19:57
we need to get back to basics. Sometimes we do think so well,
20:01
and they work so successfully, that we stop doing. Think about
20:04
your own practice, and you're like, oh, you know what, we used
20:08
to do this, but we stopped doing it. Well, why did you stop doing
20:11
it? And if you really looked at it, you'd stop doing it because
20:15
it was so successful. If it was a referral campaign or
20:18
prospecting event or client event, we stopped doing it
20:21
because we got such a positive response. We didn't have a pain
20:24
point. And therefore, we just quit doing it. So my team can
20:27
bring back an idea that we used to do and we stopped doing and
20:31
we need a perfect on. They can come back with a new script, a
20:34
new strategy, a new word, a new way to say it, but they've got
20:38
to get something out of that event. One hack that I will tell
20:41
you and I do this myself is every time I attend a conference
20:44
or professional development session, where I'm physically
20:48
fine to another state, is I take a buffer day and most of the
20:51
time you'll see at the end of a conference. Everyone's got their
20:54
suitcase kind of in the atrium and their lobby because as soon
20:58
as that session wraps out they're on the next slide out
21:01
because they gotta get home. Women I'm speaking to you in
21:04
particular, if you suffer from mom guilt, and you think that
21:07
you have to hurry up and get home because you have left your
21:11
spouse with the kids or you're missing time with them, etc.
21:14
Make sure that you're balancing yourself and checking yourself
21:17
you already went through the energy of leaving, going to a
21:21
conference and getting all of this great ideas. And if you're
21:24
anything like me early on in my career, I would have no pages
21:27
full of ideas and things that I want to implement and things
21:31
that I wanted to market or get done or client emails I wanted
21:34
to send out especially because I handle a lot of our marketing
21:37
and communication in our RIA. And so I would have all of this
21:41
bursting energy and I would be trying like in a fury on the
21:44
airplanes to get it all out. Because the second I walked
21:47
through that door, I need to be present with my family. They're
21:51
going to be super excited to see me they're going to want to
21:54
catch me up on everything that I miss. And we're going to be
21:57
joking around maybe I've now got to help with the dogs and the
22:01
kids and the homework and of course the cooking because I do
22:04
all the cooking in the house. But now I won't have any time
22:07
space or energy for all of those things that I went and learned
22:11
and wanted to implement. So really critical that you give
22:14
your space buffer time and if you went to the hassle of going
22:17
to the conference and traveling anyway, why not stay that night
22:21
get all of those things brain dumped out and to your team and
22:24
executed on so that when you do get home you're completely
22:27
present and feeling really confident about everything that
22:31
you learned because you're just brain dumped executed it got it
22:34
out of your head. And now you're able to enjoy being around your
22:38
family in a way that before you would have been trying to be
22:41
present and mentally running on all of those ideas that you have
22:44
in your head. So that's great post conference hack that you
22:48
want to use every time you go into something for professional
22:51
development for you and for your team, carve out that extra time.
22:55
Make sure that you're able to execute all those brilliant
22:58
ideas that you just brainstormed after you have attended an
23:01
event. So in addition to masterminds, what are the things
23:04
that you can do on a day to day basis because most mastermind
23:08
groups meet quarterly, some are simply annual the ones that are
23:11
annual might not be challenging you enough. You want to think of
23:15
masterminds almost as your council of coaches, right the
23:18
ones that are going to make sure that you actually hit your
23:21
target, get your goals and keep you really accountable. At The
23:24
Perfect RIA we practice extreme accountability in order to hit
23:28
our anticipated goals, but masterminds are not daily. So
23:31
what are you doing on a regular day to day basis in order to
23:34
deal with your trash and make sure you get it out to the
23:37
rubbish bin every single week on time. This is where we talk a
23:41
lot about learning success rituals, oftentimes people we
23:44
gradually get up, then you kind of shuffle over the coffee pot,
23:47
maybe make some tea and read all the news the headlines, go
23:51
through your emails, see what your day consists of. And that
23:54
is a very reactionary mindset, instead of being proactive.
23:57
So if you're setting yourself up for failure, because your
24:00
morning routine is kind of lousy, then you need to make
24:04
some changes immediately. So the very first thing that you could
24:07
look at is how you're getting up. I knew a sleep cycle. It's
24:10
an app for the iPhone. I think the iPhone now does naturally do
24:13
this, but you set up wake up windows of time. And so it's not
24:17
going off. One of the things I absolutely hate is the sound of
24:20
an alarm clock. When I'm being literally stripped out of REM
24:24
sleep. I'm very groggy, takes me longer time to kind of get the
24:27
brain going in hyperdrive, and that's where I like to operate
24:30
at. So instead I use Sleep Cycle and that allows me to have a
24:33
wake up window and then the very next thing I do is as soon as I
24:37
kind of get out of bed, and I head outside. Now I live in
24:41
Alaska and the Arctic is it cold? Yes 100%, but I'm a really
24:45
big believer in the circadian clock. And I think that if you
24:49
want a higher dose of energy in the morning, try to get your
24:52
first five or 10 minutes to be outside, even during the
24:55
wintertime when it's very dark outside that ambient light is
24:58
going to be really rejuvenating even more powerful than a cup of
25:02
coffee. If possible starting your day off with a walk outside
25:07
outdoors to get that fresh air is really great way to begin. I
25:10
used to think that I did not have the time for a walk in the
25:13
morning. And a lot of mornings I just don't have all 20/30
25:17
minutes. But I do have about five or 10 and especially
25:19
because we have dogs in our household. That's a really good
25:23
helps me prioritize getting outside and walking because now
25:27
I feel I have to take care of them now I feel as part of my
25:29
chores or responsibility in the morning or before if it was just
25:32
for me and my benefit would have put it on the backburner and
25:36
prioritize that. That's just how I work. So now I get up in the
25:40
morning I get outside of get that five or 10 minutes,
25:42
sometimes really cold and I'm very excited and anxious to get
25:45
back inside, especially during the winter months. And I have
25:49
you know, when I'm outside I normally that's where I get my
25:52
thanksgiving. I do a lot of prayer serenity focus of
25:55
gratitude for the day for the air that's in my lungs. The
25:58
blood that of course is through my veins and the thoughts inside
26:00
And I make sure that in those moments of gratitude that I am
26:01
of my head.
26:05
giving thanks for all of the blessings in my life, big and
26:09
small. So some days it's just for the cup of coffee that I'm
26:12
super thankful for. And most of the time it's for the people and
26:16
the culture that I surround myself with. All the people in
26:19
my life are positive and powerful and inspiring
26:22
individuals. So I have many things that I am thankful for
26:25
every single day. Some people write these down. If you need to
26:28
start today with a list of gratitude, I know things that
26:31
you're thankful for. Fantastic. The next thing that I do on my
26:35
son, good morning, little conqueror. This is a little
26:38
Brian Tracy move, my son is a sloth I swear to God if he was
26:41
reincarnated he would come back as a sloth. I tend to move at a
26:44
much higher speed. I'm a little bit more ambitious. He's
26:47
internally driven, but he's an extreme introvert. So instead of
26:51
how I used to spend his early teen years with like, get out of
26:54
bed, what are you doing with your life? Come on, hit the
26:56
ground running. Why aren't you thankful to be alive? Aren't you
26:58
concrete? Why aren't you doing all of these things? Instead.
27:01
Now I change it to Hey, good morning, Little Conqueror and I
27:04
just want to send a message of positivity to him. I want to
27:08
start out his day thinking that he is a warrior and I'm trying
27:11
to put those positive thoughts in his head versus me constantly
27:16
questioning why he moves backwards through time. I tried
27:20
to delay my stimulus so I don't have a cup of coffee until the
27:22
first hour after I'm awake. Sometimes in the winter months.
27:25
It's the first a couple of minutes, but I tried to do late
27:28
at stimulants just so I can get that bigger caffeine rush in
27:31
just a little bit. Then the next thing I do after I've wrapped up
27:34
sort of those morning logistics and I've gotten ready for the
27:37
day, is I look at my list of things that I'm going to conquer
27:40
and that's a handwritten list for me so I keep a little
27:42
notepad on my computer on my desk next to my computer, and I
27:46
write down with checkmark boxes, all of the things that I'm going
27:49
to get done that day that have been priority from the night
27:52
before. Now notice, I'm not opening up my email. My email
27:56
does not come alive. I have a scheduled time of the week that
27:59
I check all of the inboxes for which companies that I'm working
28:03
on that specific day I use time blocking strategies. So I don't
28:06
want my email to become my to do list. I don't want it to become
28:09
the reactionary form of communication that most people
28:13
make it. Email is still mail. And so if I open up my email and
28:18
we see that somebody has emailed me with an important question
28:22
wants to make sure that I look at it right away, et cetera. My
28:25
much haste in this to the fact that I wouldn't if I receive
28:28
this via post, run out to my mailbox, open up the letter and
28:32
then come out and get my stationery and scribe a letter
28:34
right back in return. Now do people send important emails
28:37
because we have the technology allow instant communication.
28:40
Yeah. 100%. And does somebody go through my email inbox every
28:43
day? Yes, they do scrubbing and looking for those really
28:46
important items. It's not me because it's going to kill my
28:50
productivity. So instead, it's my executive assistant. And she
28:53
goes through and organizes get rid of everything, and she can
28:56
do everything. In my email box except for provide financial or
29:00
legal advice. And if I have emails that I need to go through
29:03
and provide financial advice, or I've got a legal agreement that
29:06
I need to read, understand and sign and get back to the person
29:09
and then she will organize it on my calendar for me to do so. So
29:12
I can be very intentional and proactive. If you have email on
29:15
your phones a lot in this podcast, delete the app delete
29:19
it right away. Because if you're waiting in the car, pickup line
29:22
to pick up your children if you're in a bank teller line if
29:24
you're waiting to the grocery store, and you're checking your
29:26
email responding back, you are sloppy, that is sloppy, sloppy,
29:31
sloppy. You are not being intentional about the work that
29:34
you're doing. You're not prioritizing your client and
29:36
giving them an instant response you might as well have given
29:39
them no response. If you get an urgent form of communication
29:43
your team should be elevating that to you can you step outside
29:46
of your scheduled times and call clients. I'm not speaking about
29:49
emergency somebody dies, somebody gets hurt somebody's
29:51
kid it has an overdose. That is a phone call that immediately
29:55
interrupts my day, and I don't care what I have going on. And I
29:58
work with my financial planning client that way, that's not what
30:01
I'm speaking to and you don't have that many emergencies in
30:04
your life and unless they are manmade, that my clients deserve
30:08
the absolute best for me and that is time when we have
30:10
blocked out over the calendar to respond back to their inquiries,
30:13
isn't all of the information and make sure I'm being intentional
30:16
and deliberate in my communication. We turn a lot of
30:19
money for the work that we do and my work is not going to be
30:22
sloppy if I can prevent it from being so. So if you look at your
30:26
morning success ritual and you're analyzing it and one of
30:28
the very first things that you do is open up your email inbox.
30:31
Is that something you can immediately change? Can you
30:34
start taking action right now to look at your calendar and carve
30:38
out specific days specific times and maybe you have to do it
30:41
daily. Maybe you feel that you can not not look at your email
30:45
if you don't do it every single day. All right, we'll do it
30:48
every day. But give yourself one hour. Give yourself a specific
30:52
amount of time. Do not constantly live in your email
30:54
box and constantly check it for work to do that's being
30:57
reactionary and not proactive. And if I do that if I live in my
31:01
email box, which is so easy for us to do, everything I've
31:05
written down in my handwritten list of the things that I
31:07
would've conquer and goals I were to achieve and things I
31:09
wanted to do that move my needle right that move my needle
31:13
towards growth are going to become second. They're going to
31:17
go on the backburner and that to do list for today is going to be
31:21
my to do list for everyday moving forward because I chose
31:24
to reactionary instead of proactive about the work that
31:29
I'm doing. What is your morning success ritual? What do you do
31:33
on a daily basis that puts you in the headspace the spirit of
31:36
this physical space to really go and conquer and if you don't
31:42
have a morning success ritual, and I'm not talking about like,
31:45
oh, I wake up in the morning I brush my teeth I go to the
31:47
bathroom I talk to you know, I mean what are your goals? What
31:51
are things that you're going to do every single morning to set
31:54
yourself up for absolute success? You need to write them
31:57
down. That needs to become your agenda, and that you need to
32:01
take action on. Alright The Perfect RIA is 100% about
32:05
actionable items. Today we really talked about head trash
32:09
and what to do in order to mitigate those feelings of
32:12
impostor syndrome. Those feelings of doubt and
32:14
insecurities and for you to recognize that as a financial
32:17
adviser, it's happening to you. It's happening to your peers,
32:21
it's happening to your clients, and you're probably profound if
32:24
not gifted in doing and helping other people with their
32:28
problems, but you might be guilty of neglecting your own.
32:32
So what are you going to do about it? Take action now join a
32:36
mastermind somebody outside maybe your local community that
32:40
you can be completely vulnerable with, but also look and be super
32:44
discerning. You want a mastermind group that's going to
32:46
be actionable, and that's going to push you to in an
32:50
uncomfortable place. At The Perfect RIA, we're always about
32:53
the pursuit of perfection. And that means getting really
32:56
uncomfortable with things that make us you know, a little sick
32:59
to our stomach. Do we want to do that? Do we want to make that
33:01
big of a bold comment? Do we want to try to achieve X amount
33:05
of goal that seems unattainable or unrealistic? Because we're
33:09
all going to end up with no clients no money and be broke
33:12
down by the river living in a van, right? Those are always
33:16
those worst case fears. So who are you surrounding yourself
33:19
with? If you have negative energy, change what you're
33:21
eating, change what you're consuming, and change what
33:24
you're doing on a day to day basis, and make sure that you
33:27
much like that NFL players mom, are setting yourself up for
33:30
absolute success by only allowing people in your
33:33
environment that are going to propel you towards greatness.
33:37
Remember, boundaries are
33:39
important and they are not important because they keep
33:41
people out but they are important because they keep you
33:44
in your greatness. And if you are leading a financial advisory
33:47
office and you are not implementing the same strategies
33:51
for your team, you are doing them a disservice and you will
33:54
only ever get them at their mediocre level. They will never
33:57
achieve greatness because you have not set them up for that
33:59
type of success. And then I want you to evaluate your morning
34:03
success ritual. What are you doing every single day when you
34:07
get up to put yourself in that best set a mind frame to go and
34:12
conquer and achieve all of your goals? And if you think you kind
34:17
of have a morning success ritual, but you don't really
34:19
have it written down and written down so predictable that your
34:23
small child can tell you exactly what you do every single
34:27
morning, then you don't have a ritual. You have an idea of what
34:30
your morning should look like stop being reactionary start
34:34
being proactive. Take control of your day. Get out of your email
34:38
inbox. Make sure you write down goals, goal that make sure
34:42
you're moving towards the needle do things do the right off the
34:45
get go right in the morning. Change your circadian rhythm,
34:49
change what you're ingesting in the morning, change what you're
34:52
doing because you are going