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The Times I Cheated Myself: From Fear to Faith · HAVE FAITH LET IT BEGIN®

• 0:00
  Hello, everyone, and welcome to Have Faith, Let It Begin.
• 0:03
  My name is Angel Santana. And this week, we've talked about betrayal.
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  We've talked about broken trust.
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  We've talked about who hurt us. And we've talked about heartbreak.
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  But today, on this Thursday, we're talking about somebody else.
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  That's right. We're talking about me, meaning you or the word, I should say, I.
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  Because while there were certainly people in my life who betrayed me,
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  there were also moments when I betrayed myself. That's right.
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  Moments when fear spoke louder than faith.
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  Moments when doubt became stronger than confidence.
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  Moments when I talked myself out of opportunities that God may have been placing right in front of me.
• 1:02
  This episode is called The Times I've Cheated Myself.
• 1:08
  Have Faith, Let It Begin starts right now.
• 1:12
  Have Faith, Let It Begin. When it starts right now.
• 1:19
  Welcome to Have Faith, Let It Begin.
• 1:23
  Here's your host, Angel Santana. Good morning, everyone, and welcome back to
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  Have Faith, Let It Begin. You know, when I look back over my life,
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  there were moments that I am proud of.
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  Moments where I took a leap of faith. Moments where I trusted God.
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  Moments where I kept going even when things were difficult.
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  But if I'm being completely honest
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  with you this morning, there are also moments I wish I could revisit.
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  Don't you? not because someone else hurt me, but because I got in my own way.
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  That's right. Have you ever done that? Have you ever gotten your own way?
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  Yeah. Have you ever convinced yourself that you weren't good enough?
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  Oh man, I know that feeling.
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  You ever convince yourself that you're not smart enough, talented enough,
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  qualified enough. Oh, there's one. I know I have.
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  There were years when I carried so much hurt from what had happened in my life
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  that it affected how I saw myself.
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  The betrayal was over. The heartbreak had happened, but the damage remained.
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  And without realizing it, I started believing things about myself that simply were not true.
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  I started questioning my value, questioning my abilities, questioning my future.
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  And sometimes I didn't need anyone else to hold me back.
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  I was doing that all by myself.
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  Fear is interesting. You know, I think of the word fear and fear is a powerful thing.
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  It can convince you not to apply for the job, not to start the business,
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  not to pursue the dream, not to share your story, not to trust again,
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  not to love again, not to try again.
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  Fear was, it's just a tough word, but fear has a way of making failure feel
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  certain before you even take the first step.
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  And I think there were years in my life where I followed fear to sit in the driver's seat.
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  Not because I didn't love God, not because I didn't believe in God,
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  but because I was wounded, had scars.
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  And wounded people sometimes struggle to see themselves the way God sees them.
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  Maybe that's where some of you are today. You're not being held back by another person.
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  You're being held back by a version of yourself that no longer exists.
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  A version shaped by old pain, old disappointment, old failures, old heartbreaks.
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  Yeah, old heartbreaks. That's a key thing to think about too.
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  When you hear the word old heartbreaks, oh man, how does that not just wrap?
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  It's crazy it's just that it's a crazy feeling
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  when you think about that i just had like a mental note like hit me as i'm saying
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  that i'm like wow old breaks old experiences yeah it's why it's important that
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  we learn to put trust in ourselves and not allow the negativity,
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  to get the best out of us it's just not something
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  that that is it's just
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  not something that we need to put our
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  full faith into i know i'm thinking just thinking about everything that i talked
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  about and i'm like wow you ever you ever say a word like we're talking about
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  fear we did this and i was talking about fear is powerful thing and it convinced
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  it can convince you not to apply for the job, right?
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  I said something about, you know, not able to start your business or your dreams or your stories.
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  All that has a, has like a faith segment to it.
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  One of the greatest, greatest lessons that I've learned is that God sees things
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  in us that we don't always see in ourselves.
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  Moses doubted himself. David doubted himself. Jeremiah doubted himself.
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  Even some of the greatest people in the scripture struggled with confidence.
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  God still called them. God didn't wait for them to become fearless.
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  He simply asked them to trust in him. And that's what he's asking of us.
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  He's not asking for perfection, not certainty, not faith.
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  But because faith doesn't mean you're not afraid. Faith means you're willing to move forward.
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  And I often wonder what opportunities I missed out on, What opportunities I
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  missed because I didn't believe in myself.
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  What doors I walked away from. What dreams that I delayed.
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  What blessings I postponed.
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  But I don't live there anymore. I don't live in that world. Because regret can become another person.
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  Regret can also become another prison. The enemy wants us to focus on what we missed.
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  And that's where I choose to live today. No regrets, not in shame,
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  not in what ifs, but in what's next.
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  So if you're listening today and you've been doubting yourself and you've allowed
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  fear to convince you that you're not enough, you've been standing on the sidelines of your own life.
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  You're not disqualified by your past. You're not defined by your mistakes and you're not too late.
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  The same God who carried you through heartbreak can carry you into a purpose.
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  So let's pray Heavenly Father thank you and thank you for forgiving us for the
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  moments that we've doubted,
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  help us release fear, regret, insecurities and give us the courage to walk through
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  the doors the doors that you have opened and trust that you are still writing
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  our story and we pray this to you tomorrow tomorrow,
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  I should say amen. Tomorrow, we're going to be concluding this series,
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  the cheated series, with a powerful message.
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  It's called, I refuse to be defined by my worst day.
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  And that's where we're going to leave you. So may God be with you.
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  May he shine his light upon you and grant each and every single one of you peace
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  on earth. And never forget, have faith, let it begin.
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  Reminder to everyone out there, before I close this out, June 16th,
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  actually, let's go in order.
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  June 14th, Flag Day, I'll be back at First Reformed Church.
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  June 16th, we're celebrating nine years of Have Faith That It Begins.
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  Nine years, and we're going to our ninth season.
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  June 21st, Father's Day, I'll be back preaching again at First Reformed Church.
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  So, may God be with you, and may He shine His light through you,
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  and give you the peace and the confidence that you need to live your day.
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  God bless you. See you tomorrow.