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Caught in the Act: Coaching Myself Through Procrastination · STOPTIME: Live in the Moment.

• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Hey, how many of you are procrastinating right now?
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: It's such an uncomfortable feeling.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I know paralysis by analysis and that's usually because I'm so excited to do many things and I don't know which one to do first.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: That is very different from procrastination.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: There is something I have a deadline for that I am stretching out.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I keep saying I'm going to do it and I just don't do it.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I know I will, probably at the 11th hour, and it's got me really thinking why am I avoiding doing it?
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: There's no fear.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: It's not a fear piece.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Sometimes procrastination comes with fear, fear of failure, fear of not doing it very well.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: In this case it's just an editing thing.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I have a deadline with my publisher and you know what I'm discovering.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I don't like to go back and look at things I've done before and fine tune them.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I don't mind it once I get in.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: But holy cow, holy cow.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: This has been a real thing for me.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I find myself wandering around.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Things need doing in the garden.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: There's, you know 65 other things that are calling my attention, and yet every time I come into my office to say I'm going to do it, I don't do it.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: In fact, I'm supposed to be doing it right now, but instead I'm talking to you about not doing it.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness, wow.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Procrastination is real, but I just wanted to check in with you in this moment, like in real time.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: This is me, this is me.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: This is me procrastinating.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Now, as I said, the procrastination has to do with my book and this edit that I need to do.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I'm adding it's a wonderful thing actually that I get to do Practice what you preach, lisa.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I get to add these wonderful testimonials, one from Susan Stroman and another rave from Dame Evelyn Glennie, and they're going to appear on the back of my book and that's great.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's fantastic.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, what author doesn't want that?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: And yet I hesitate to do the work, to send it to the designers to put on the book, work, to send it to the designers to put on the book.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know why, couldn't tell you.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: So what I did today was a few minutes ago.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I grabbed my book, said book.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I picked up the book and I opened up to chapter 26, which is called Our Limitless Capacity to Thrive, and I read my own words, which I'm going to share with you.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Begin like this let's face it Feeling unmotivated feels crappy, especially in a world that places such high value on go-getters.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: If you are feeling less than inspired at the moment, I promise you there's nothing wrong with you.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: You aren't broken or weak.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Thank you, lisa, thank you, former self, for telling future self that I am not broken or weak.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I went on to say lack of motivation usually signals a conditional reason for doing something, whether it's money, praise, success, recognition, control or power.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: When something that once motivated us stops being an incentive, it's an opportunity to think again about why we do what we do.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: It's a chance to connect, reconnect or maybe even disconnect from what doesn't light us up anymore.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, but, former Lisa, what do I do about something that used to light me up but that doesn't kind of light me up at all, because it's just a detail, it's not the creative impulse I had when I was writing this.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Hmm, interesting, let's see what else I have to say to myself.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I said maybe you've simply grown tired of chasing after something and decided to settle for where you are.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Now I think I'm on to something.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Or maybe when you've been motivated enough to go where you wanted to go when you got there, it didn't make you feel the way you thought it would.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Now that's interesting, because what's coming up for me now are some limiting beliefs that what difference does it make if I put the testimonials on the book?
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Because I have no proof that that will help.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, there are limiting beliefs in the publishing ecosystem that it's a good thing, but I don't have any actual proof.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Well, of course I don't, because I've never written a book before and I've never had testimonials.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Interesting, interesting, so it's not that it doesn't light me up.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Hmm, let me read further.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I went on to say how many of us have been motivated by fear, the mother of all motivators.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: When fear is driving us, we're so focused on what we don't want to be that we can't even begin to consider where we truly want to go.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Now, that's interesting, because in this moment I just want to be done, but obviously I don't want to be done that much because I'm not doing it and as the deadline approaches I will do it.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: And then the fear I'm going to use the fear to drive me and that's not such a healthy thing.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, we all do it and I'm feeling kind of cheeky about it.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: It's not really bugging me that much, but I could just sit down and do it before lunch.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Interesting, I'm going to go back to what I wrote.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: The key here I said the key here is to understand whether you're being motivated externally, which is limited, or internally, which is limitless.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Unconditional intrinsic motivation, feels connected.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, I get that.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: It doesn't require an outcome to inspire us.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: The joy is in the process, not the results us.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: The joy is in the process, not the results.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: The key here is to understand whether you've been motivated externally, which is limited, or internally, which is limitless, or, in this case, not motivated at all.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Unconditional intrinsic motivation, feels connected.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: It doesn't require an outcome to inspire us.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: The joy is in the process, not the result.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you won't get results.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: In fact, in my coaching practice I said I have witnessed that they go hand in hand.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: As counterintuitive as it may seem, letting go of the win-lose, have-not perspective brings you even closer to what you want to achieve.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: And then some Interesting.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Now I'm wondering what I want to achieve.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: It's been pretty low frequency, I just wanted to get the frigging thing done.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I'm starting to recognize that I'm not assigning anything valuable to it.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: I don't believe that it's really going to help.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling doubtful that it'll make a difference.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Interesting, if I was my own client, I might say maybe you're just a little bit burned out and trusting the process might be a good idea.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Hmm, I'm going to read on.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I'm going to read on.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Teach me, lisa.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Teach me.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Here we go.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: The distinction between wants and needs is vital to understand our level of engagement and motivation, or lack thereof, in everything we do.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, needs are things that we require to survive, like food, water, air and shelter Some of the things we most take for granted.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I'm guessing, if you are reading this, your basic needs have been met.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Yes, they have.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Then, I add, it wouldn't hurt to take a conscious moment of gratitude here and put things in perspective.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Good plan, I am grateful that this is something I get to do.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: I get to make an edit on my book because I wrote a book and I get to.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: We teach what we most need to learn.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: I get to yes, this is me in real time coaching myself, reframe.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: I get to add these testimonials to my book because some people that I really, really respect gave me testimonials.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, how cool is that, lisa?
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: What is standing in your way?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Hmm, I'm learning from myself.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: This is kind of fun.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we talked about needs.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Now I'm talking about wants.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Wants are the things that you can live without but would prefer not to.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: It is the difference between necessity and desire.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I go on to say I'm not talking about greed here.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about connecting to your purpose, to the reason why you want something.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: For instance, if you just want to be rich because you want stuff and you become rich and have stuff, you might find yourself wondering why that didn't satisfy your desire.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: It's insatiable.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: It is the reason why people can never have enough of what they don't really need True treadmill.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: When we are motivated by external things and don't consider what's truly important to us and why, aka what is motivating us intrinsically, then our motivation will be not only unsustainable but what we achieve will cease to bring us joy.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: This is so interesting to me my words to self, in the context of procrastination.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I suppose it'll bring me joy to have done it and that there's maybe some visualization I could do to imagine holding it and seeing it on the back of the book.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Interesting, you know, on the one hand it's not that important to me.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: I mean it is, but it's not that important to me to say it out loud, to scream it from the rooftops and yet that could help more people get to my book and have an impact Interesting.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I'm learning.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I'm learning All right Self.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: What can you tell me?
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is what I said.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: It is a valuable exercise to recognize and appreciate that you already have everything you need and really take stock of what you have that you don't really need.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Then you can get clear on moving in the direction of what you really want.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do I want to have the testimonials on the back of my book?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Do I have to?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: No testimonials on the back of my book.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Do I have to?
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: No, is it a need?
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: No, Should I?
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I mean that's where I'm at right now, energetically that I should do it Because it's good for the book.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: It's good for all the reasons.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: If I lose the shame and I step into my capability, I could instead of I should.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, I could instead of I should.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely I could.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: And then my brain goes oh, it's on word and you don't like word and it's tricky and it's annoying, and blah, blah, blah.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: But could I?
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Now the real question is do I want to?
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, I want to, I do, my brain saying so.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Why aren't you doing it.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Well, because I'm busy making a video about.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Is it making me want to do it more?
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, actually it is.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Maybe you guys whoever's listening could hold me accountable Send me a message saying did you do it?
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Hmm, interesting, and we all know what comes after I want to right, I get to, which is choice with gratitude.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: That's where I want to be.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Let's read the last paragraph from this and see if I can get the final inspiration to do this, as it is to feel uninspired.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: I invite you to listen deeply to what it's really telling you.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Take this moment to slow down and untether your identity from what you do and connect to who you want to be.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of feeling that I'm going to read that again.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Take this moment to slow down and untether your identity from what you do and connect to who you want to be.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: You know what I want to be a best-selling author.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Do I need to be?
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: No, do I want to be?
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Is that a worthy goal?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: I think so.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Am I on my way?
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Does this help my procrastination of doing my edits for the back of my book to put the testimonials?
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I finished by saying leading from our values and finding meaning in what we do is where our limitless capacity to thrive resides.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: The prompt I asked myself was, well, that I asked all of us reading the book was what truly motivates you?
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: What truly motivates you, lisa?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Well, what motivates me is impact, is honesty, is creativity, connection.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: And, lisa, yes, talk to myself now, lisa are any of those values inherent in finishing your book edits today, of those values inherent in finishing your book edits today?
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: And the answer, my friends, is yes.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: You've just been listening to Lisa coaching herself with her words from her book.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: And will I do it?
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Will I hold myself accountable?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, I could use your help, so please send me a message, ask me if I've done it.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And yeah, thanks, lisa, I feel a accountable.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, I could use your help, so please send me a message, ask me if I've done it.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: And yeah, thanks, lisa, I feel a little more connected.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: So, if any of you out there are procrastinating, dig into why especially if it's not fear but rather something that maybe doesn't light you up and find what lights you up about it.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: That's what I just did.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I'm Lisa Hopkins.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Stay safe and healthy everyone and remember to live in the moment.