Latest / Come Back to Love: / Come Back To Love June 4 2026 How to Stop Giving So Much and Start Receiving
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: Welcome to come Back to Love with your host, Robin Vogel.
- 0:05Speaker 1: Each week at this same time, come Back to Love
- 0:08Speaker 1: covers an endless array of topics related to relationships, love
- 0:12Speaker 1: and intimacy, along with all the reasons you maybe keeping
- 0:15Speaker 1: love at a distance. Can a shattered heart be your
- 0:18Speaker 1: doorway to your greatest love story.
- 0:20Speaker 2: Robin will give you practical tools that can be used
- 0:23Speaker 2: to heal the past and help you to safely love again.
- 0:26Speaker 2: And now Today's come back to Love.
- 0:30Speaker 3: In a world that often feels disconnected, uncertain, and overwhelming,
- 0:34Speaker 3: there has never been a more important time to come
- 0:37Speaker 3: back to love. I'm Robin Vogel, psychotherapist, relationship expert, love
- 0:42Speaker 3: an intimacy coach, and the author of come Back to Love,
- 0:45Speaker 3: a Path to Healing. You can find that anywhere you
- 0:48Speaker 3: can purchase books online. For over twenty years, I've been
- 0:52Speaker 3: sitting with people in their most tender, courageous moments, the
- 0:55Speaker 3: heartbreaks belonging, the walls they filed around their hearts, and
- 0:59Speaker 3: the quiet hope that real love is still possible. I
- 1:02Speaker 3: want to tell you that it is. This show is
- 1:05Speaker 3: a sanctuary, a place to heal the past, reconnect with
- 1:08Speaker 3: yourself and fall in love again with your life, with others,
- 1:13Speaker 3: and most importantly, with yourself. Welcome to come Back to
- 1:16Speaker 3: Love on km e T, your ABC News radio affiliate.
- 1:20Speaker 3: Come Back to Love Radio show airs in southern California
- 1:25Speaker 3: on km e T fourteen ninety AM and ninety eight
- 1:28Speaker 3: point one FM, and you can listen to it afterwards
- 1:32Speaker 3: anywhere that you listen to your podcasts. I want to
- 1:36Speaker 3: start today with a scenario. Someone does something kind for you.
- 1:41Speaker 3: Maybe they pay for your coffee, Maybe they say you
- 1:44Speaker 3: look beautiful today. Maybe they offer to help you with
- 1:47Speaker 3: something you've been struggling with alone. Maybe someone a partner,
- 1:52Speaker 3: a date, a friend says, let me take care of
- 1:55Speaker 3: that for you and something in you. Instead of simply
- 1:58Speaker 3: saying thank you and letting it, Land deflects, Oh, you
- 2:04Speaker 3: didn't have to do that, I'm fine, Really, don't worry
- 2:06Speaker 3: about me. I can handle it. I'm okay, I can
- 2:09Speaker 3: do it myself. Or you immediately think about how to
- 2:13Speaker 3: return the favor, how to balance the ledger, how to
- 2:16Speaker 3: make sure you're not what's the word a burden sound familiar?
- 2:22Speaker 3: Last week we talked about overgiving the pattern of giving
- 2:25Speaker 3: so much in relationship that you exhaust yourself, attract takers,
- 2:31Speaker 3: and quietly build a wall of resentment underneath all your generosity.
- 2:36Speaker 3: Today we're going to the other side of that crime,
- 2:38Speaker 3: because here's what nobody talks about. Overgiving and the inability
- 2:42Speaker 3: to receive. Those two things are the same wound, two
- 2:47Speaker 3: sides of the same story, and you cannot heal one
- 2:50Speaker 3: without addressing the other. I'm Robin Bogel. This has come
- 2:53Speaker 3: back to love on KMET and today we're going to
- 2:56Speaker 3: talk about one of the most underrated skills in love
- 2:59Speaker 3: and relationship and chips and in life, how to actually risk.
- 3:06Speaker 3: Let me ask you something that I genuinely want you
- 3:08Speaker 3: to sit with. When someone offers you something, help, accompliment, care, love,
- 3:17Speaker 3: what happens in your body For a lot of people,
- 3:20Speaker 3: especially high achieving, emotionally intelligent, self sufficient people. And you
- 3:24Speaker 3: know who you are, and I know you're out there
- 3:27Speaker 3: because you're the ones who listen to a show like this.
- 3:30Speaker 3: Receiving doesn't feel so good. It feels uncomfortable. It feels
- 3:35Speaker 3: like owing someone something. It feels like being seen in
- 3:39Speaker 3: a vulnerable way that isn't entirely safe. It feels like
- 3:44Speaker 3: too much. And most people never stop to ask why. Well,
- 3:50Speaker 3: here's what I've learned. The inability to receive is almost
- 3:54Speaker 3: always rooted in one of three things. The first is
- 3:57Speaker 3: a belief that love is conditional if you grew up
- 4:01Speaker 3: in an environment, and this doesn't have to be dramatic,
- 4:04Speaker 3: it can be subtle. Where love came with strings attached,
- 4:07Speaker 3: where affection was given when you performed well, behaved correctly,
- 4:12Speaker 3: didn't make waves, took care of others' needs first, where
- 4:16Speaker 3: love felt like something you earned rather than something you
- 4:18Speaker 3: simply had. Then receiving without earning feels wrong, unsafe, like
- 4:26Speaker 3: you're waiting for the other shoe to drop, so you
- 4:29Speaker 3: deflect it, you minimize it. You immediately tried to earn
- 4:32Speaker 3: it retroactively by giving something back. Sound familiar. The second
- 4:40Speaker 3: route is a belief that needing makes you a burden.
- 4:43Speaker 3: This is a big one. This is really big for people.
- 4:46Speaker 3: Nobody wants to be quote unquote needy. Right, It's got
- 4:49Speaker 3: a really bad rep in our culture. Maybe you got
- 4:54Speaker 3: the message early, directly or indirectly that your needs were
- 4:58Speaker 3: too much, that asking for help he was a weakness,
- 5:01Speaker 3: that the people in your life were too overwhelmed, too unavailable,
- 5:05Speaker 3: or too fragile, to hold your needs. I definitely got
- 5:08Speaker 3: this message. So you learn to need less, to handle it,
- 5:12Speaker 3: to be the strong one, to be the independent one,
- 5:14Speaker 3: to be the resilient one. We talked about this a
- 5:16Speaker 3: lot last week. If you didn't catch that radio show,
- 5:18Speaker 3: please go to SoundCloud or any of the podcast platforms
- 5:23Speaker 3: and play last week's episode. And now, okay, again, you
- 5:30Speaker 3: learn to need less, You learn to handle it. You
- 5:32Speaker 3: needed to, You learn to be strong and resilient to
- 5:35Speaker 3: take care of yourself and all of that. And you
- 5:37Speaker 3: don't want to be needy. But now someone offers to
- 5:40Speaker 3: help you, and instead of feeling relieved, you feel guilty, exposed,
- 5:44Speaker 3: like you're somehow failing, that you've somehow failed by not
- 5:49Speaker 3: managing everything on your own or not managing that one
- 5:53Speaker 3: thing on your own. Okay. The third route, and this
- 5:58Speaker 3: is the one that is most invisible. I think to
- 6:00Speaker 3: that is that receiving requires presence. Think about that for
- 6:07Speaker 3: a moment. When you give, when you give something to
- 6:10Speaker 3: someone or you do something for people, you're the one
- 6:13Speaker 3: in control. You decide what to give, when to give.
- 6:17Speaker 3: How much giving is active, giving is doing, and doing
- 6:23Speaker 3: is where you feel most safe receiving is the opposite.
- 6:28Speaker 3: Receiving requires you to stop, be still, let someone in,
- 6:34Speaker 3: let something in, to be affected by another person. And
- 6:40Speaker 3: for someone who learned early that being affected, being moved,
- 6:43Speaker 3: being open, being reached was dangerous, that stillness can be terrifying.
- 6:50Speaker 3: So we keep moving, we keep giving, we keep doing,
- 6:53Speaker 3: because as long as we're the one giving, we never
- 6:56Speaker 3: have to be that vulnerable. I want to say something
- 7:00Speaker 3: very clearly here, and I want you to hear it.
- 7:04Speaker 3: This is not a character flaw. This is not selfishness
- 7:07Speaker 3: in reverse. This is protection, a very very understandable, very
- 7:14Speaker 3: human protection against a pain that was once very real.
- 7:19Speaker 3: But it also is also and I can say this
- 7:23Speaker 3: with enormous compassion, one of the primary reasons real intimacy
- 7:28Speaker 3: stays just out of reach because intimacy is not a
- 7:32Speaker 3: one way street. Love cannot flow between two people if
- 7:36Speaker 3: one of them has learned to be a closed vessel
- 7:39Speaker 3: and give and give and give and not receive. You
- 7:42Speaker 3: can give and give and give. And if you cannot receive,
- 7:46Speaker 3: love cannot actually read to actually wrote a whole chapter
- 7:50Speaker 3: in my book Come Back to Love, A Path to
- 7:52Speaker 3: Healing on receiving. If you haven't seen the book or
- 7:59Speaker 3: heard of the book. You can find it up of
- 8:00Speaker 3: course on Amazon. Also on my website come back to
- 8:04Speaker 3: love dot com. You can download the first chapter for free,
- 8:07Speaker 3: So go ahead and do that. Come back to love
- 8:10Speaker 3: dot com just all spelled out and right there at
- 8:13Speaker 3: the top of the page it says, download your free chapter,
- 8:16Speaker 3: start reading and yeah, get a real taste of the book,
- 8:20Speaker 3: and then you'll find out more about it, more about me,
- 8:24Speaker 3: and then you can go purchase it anywhere online that
- 8:28Speaker 3: you purchase books. All right, I'm Robin Vogel, and this
- 8:32Speaker 3: has come back to Love. We are at km ET Radio.
- 8:36Speaker 3: We air Thursdays at one thirty pm Pacific and four
- 8:41Speaker 3: thirty pm Eastern time, and I am so delighted to
- 8:45Speaker 3: be here with you today. Okay, we're going to move
- 8:49Speaker 3: into the hidden cost of overgiving, and I want you
- 8:52Speaker 3: to really think about whether you are someone who overgives.
- 8:55Speaker 3: It's actually so so so common in our culture to overgive,
- 8:59Speaker 3: to keep doing things for people, and we do it
- 9:02Speaker 3: naturally because we learned how to do it, given the
- 9:07Speaker 3: three root causes that I just shared with you. But
- 9:10Speaker 3: also we don't notice it because everyone's doing it. It's
- 9:13Speaker 3: really hard to notice. And when you're someone who is overgiving,
- 9:18Speaker 3: there is a real cost, a real cost, and I'm
- 9:22Speaker 3: going to talk about those right now. So I'm going
- 9:26Speaker 3: to spend a few minutes on something that doesn't get
- 9:28Speaker 3: said out loud enough, that overgiving has a cost, not
- 9:34Speaker 3: just to you. And this is the piece I wanted
- 9:36Speaker 3: to say, not just to you, but to the people
- 9:38Speaker 3: you're in relationship with. I know that sounds counterintuitive. You're giving,
- 9:42Speaker 3: You're generous. How could that be a problem. Well, here's
- 9:46Speaker 3: how when you give with that receiving, when you consistently
- 9:50Speaker 3: overfunction in a relationship, you create an imbalance. An imbalance
- 9:54Speaker 3: over time creates distance, even when it's dressed up as love.
- 10:00Speaker 3: Here's what actually happens to the other person, whether it's
- 10:03Speaker 3: a partner, a lover, a friend, a child, a parent.
- 10:07Speaker 3: The person receiving all that giving, all that giving, starts
- 10:11Speaker 3: to feel, whether they can articulate it or not, like
- 10:15Speaker 3: they can never keep up, Like they owe you something
- 10:18Speaker 3: they can never fully repay, Like the relationship has a
- 10:22Speaker 3: subtle ledger that's always tilted in your favor. Some people
- 10:27Speaker 3: rise to meet that, they try harder, but many and
- 10:31Speaker 3: this is the painful part start to pull away, not
- 10:35Speaker 3: because they don't care, but because the weight of receiving
- 10:38Speaker 3: without being allowed to give feels suffocating in its own way.
- 10:42Speaker 3: And then there's this when you overgive, you're not actually
- 10:46Speaker 3: being fully present in the relationship. You're managing it. You're
- 10:49Speaker 3: constantly managing it. What do they need? What do they want?
- 10:52Speaker 3: You're making up stories about what they need and they want,
- 10:54Speaker 3: and then you're giving it to them before you even
- 10:56Speaker 3: have had a conversation with them about what they might
- 11:00Speaker 3: want or need, or that they don't want anything or
- 11:04Speaker 3: need anything in that moment. There's really a difference between
- 11:07Speaker 3: loving someone and managing them. Managing looks like again, anticipating
- 11:11Speaker 3: their needs before they ask, smoothing every rough edge, making
- 11:15Speaker 3: sure everything is okay, never letting things get messy or
- 11:19Speaker 3: hard or uncomfortable. And guess what, that's where the vulnerability lies.
- 11:24Speaker 3: It feels like love, it looks like love, but underneath it,
- 11:27Speaker 3: if you're honest, it's control, not malicious control, not conscious control,
- 11:33Speaker 3: but control nonetheless, because if you can keep if you
- 11:37Speaker 3: keep giving, if you can keep giving and keep managing,
- 11:39Speaker 3: keep making sure everything is okay, then nothing can go wrong,
- 11:42Speaker 3: Nothing can surprise you nothing and nobody can leave. Can
- 11:47Speaker 3: you feel how exhausting that is? Oh, my gosh, it's
- 11:50Speaker 3: so exhausting. I have to say because I used to
- 11:52Speaker 3: be a chronic overgiver. So here's the deepest cost of all.
- 11:57Speaker 3: When you overgive, you deprive the people you love the
- 12:00Speaker 3: opportunity to love you back. Really sit with that reflect
- 12:04Speaker 3: a compliment. Every time you say I'm fine when you're not.
- 12:09Speaker 3: Every time you refuse help, every time you immediately reciprocate
- 12:12Speaker 3: a gift before you've even let it land, you are
- 12:16Speaker 3: robbing the people who love you of the chance to
- 12:18Speaker 3: care for you. And you're robbing yourself of the experience
- 12:21Speaker 3: of being cared for, which, if you're honest, is what
- 12:24Speaker 3: you've been longing for all along, the love you are
- 12:28Speaker 3: working so hard to earn through giving, To earn it
- 12:34Speaker 3: through giving. Just take that in for a moment. It's
- 12:38Speaker 3: like you have to like I've been saying, like you
- 12:40Speaker 3: have to earn it. You have to give somebody a
- 12:43Speaker 3: reason to love you. That love, the same love you
- 12:49Speaker 3: keep locking by not allowing yourself to receive, is exactly
- 12:52Speaker 3: what you yourself want to receive. That is the wound of
- 12:56Speaker 3: the center of overgiving. And it breaks my heart a
- 12:58Speaker 3: little every time I see it because it is so
- 13:01Speaker 3: common and so unnecessary and so healable, if that's a
- 13:06Speaker 3: word I can use. It's so healable, you can heal it.
- 13:11Speaker 3: I'm going to talk about how today. This is Robin Vogel.
- 13:14Speaker 3: We are on km ET Radio. This has come back
- 13:17Speaker 3: to Love. The art of receiving is the piece, the
- 13:23Speaker 3: missing piece here. So let's talk about how you're actually
- 13:27Speaker 3: going to change this because I want to be practical
- 13:30Speaker 3: with you today. I love to be practical. Actually every day.
- 13:33Speaker 3: I want to give you something that you can use
- 13:35Speaker 3: and not just think about. The art of receiving is
- 13:38Speaker 3: a skill. Like any skill, it feels awkward at first,
- 13:41Speaker 3: like learning to use your non dominant hand flunky, uncomfortable,
- 13:45Speaker 3: like you're doing it wrong. But you're not doing it wrong.
- 13:48Speaker 3: You're just doing it new. You're just doing it new.
- 13:52Speaker 3: Here are three practices I give my clients when we
- 13:56Speaker 3: begin this work. You can also find some really good
- 13:58Speaker 3: information again book Come Back to Love, A Path to Healing.
- 14:04Speaker 3: The first is what I call the two second pause.
- 14:06Speaker 3: The next time someone offers you something, a compliment, a gesture, help, care,
- 14:11Speaker 3: an expression of love before you deflect, before you go
- 14:14Speaker 3: into like automation, push it away, minimize, pause for a second,
- 14:21Speaker 3: Pause for two seconds, just two seconds of not doing anything.
- 14:27Speaker 3: In fact. In those two seconds, take a breath, let
- 14:31Speaker 3: the offering land in your body before your mind starts
- 14:35Speaker 3: managing it. This is really this is such a big
- 14:38Speaker 3: piece because it's so hard to take in, and that's
- 14:42Speaker 3: why we don't sometimes take it in. So pause for
- 14:47Speaker 3: two seconds. You don't have to say anything, You don't
- 14:50Speaker 3: have to have a breakthrough moments. You don't have to
- 14:52Speaker 3: pause long, just a moment to take a breath and
- 14:56Speaker 3: actually receive rather than immediately deflect. Two seconds. That's the
- 15:01Speaker 3: whole practice. Second practice is learning to say thank you
- 15:06Speaker 3: and stop. This is a big one. I learned this
- 15:08Speaker 3: one really really well. Not thank you, but you really
- 15:12Speaker 3: didn't have to. Not thank you. Let me get to
- 15:15Speaker 3: the next one or the next thing, or now I
- 15:17Speaker 3: have to walk away and do something else. Not thank you,
- 15:20Speaker 3: I'm sorry to be such a bother. Just thank you,
- 15:23Speaker 3: full stop. Let that be enough. It might feel uncomfortable,
- 15:30Speaker 3: it might feel incomplete, like you've just left something unfinished.
- 15:34Speaker 3: That discomfort is old wiring firing it's not the truth.
- 15:39Speaker 3: It's just a habit. Thank you, full stop practice, practice it.
- 15:45Speaker 3: Learning it today, Start practicing it today. Anytime somebody hands
- 15:50Speaker 3: you something, a cup of coffee behind the Starbucks bar,
- 15:53Speaker 3: thank you. Somebody says, wow, you have a really nice,
- 15:57Speaker 3: nice smile, thank you, whatever, it is, just practice saying
- 16:02Speaker 3: thank you as a full sentence and don't say anything else.
- 16:07Speaker 3: It's amazing. Actually the response that you'll get, you will see.
- 16:11Speaker 3: They practice this one often several times a day. The
- 16:17Speaker 3: third practice, and this one is deeper, is to begin
- 16:20Speaker 3: noticing what you feel when you receive, not what you think,
- 16:23Speaker 3: but what you feel, because there are some people who
- 16:27Speaker 3: struggle to receive. There is a feeling underneath the deflection.
- 16:31Speaker 3: Sometimes it's guilt. Sometimes it's sadness, agree for all the
- 16:35Speaker 3: times you needed something and it wasn't there. Sometimes it's
- 16:39Speaker 3: a kind of tender opening that feels almost unbearable because
- 16:42Speaker 3: it reminds you of how much you've been longing for
- 16:45Speaker 3: exactly this. That feeling, whatever it is, for you, is
- 16:51Speaker 3: not dangerous. It's information. It's the part of you that's
- 16:56Speaker 3: been waiting a very long time to be allowed to
- 17:00Speaker 3: simply receive. I want to end this section with something
- 17:05Speaker 3: I say to my clients often, and I want to
- 17:07Speaker 3: say it directly to you now, to my listeners, you
- 17:10Speaker 3: are allowed to be loved without earning it. You are
- 17:14Speaker 3: allowed to need things. You are allowed to let someone
- 17:18Speaker 3: take care of you without immediately figuring out how to
- 17:21Speaker 3: pay them back. You are allowed to be, for a moment,
- 17:26Speaker 3: the one who receives. It's not a weakness, it's one
- 17:32Speaker 3: of the bravest things a self sufficient person can do.
- 17:37Speaker 3: So take a breath, taking these words as a way
- 17:41Speaker 3: of practicing receiving. We're going to go into another practice,
- 17:44Speaker 3: but I want to just give you a moment to
- 17:46Speaker 3: take a breath and receive these words, because that is
- 17:49Speaker 3: a practice of receiving. And even if you're listening and
- 17:52Speaker 3: you're feeling thankful for some of the things I'm sharing today,
- 17:56Speaker 3: you can just say to yourself or say out loud,
- 17:59Speaker 3: thank you. I'm not asking in this moment for gratitude,
- 18:03Speaker 3: but just as a practice, you know, just as a practice.
- 18:06Speaker 3: Thank you. Beautiful two words to use, And what an
- 18:12Speaker 3: amazing shift in your life when you stop overgiving and
- 18:16Speaker 3: you learn to receive, and then the give receive comes
- 18:20Speaker 3: into balance. I'm Robin Vogel. I'm a psychotherapist, I love
- 18:25Speaker 3: an intimacy coach, and this is come Back to Love
- 18:28Speaker 3: Radio on km e T. I'm so happy to be
- 18:31Speaker 3: here with you every week on Thursdays one thirty pm Pacific,
- 18:36Speaker 3: four thirty pm Eastern, and we will continue. And I'm
- 18:40Speaker 3: so glad you're here. Thank you for tuning in, by
- 18:42Speaker 3: the way, thank you for tuning in every week that
- 18:43Speaker 3: you have. Thank you for finding the show on podcast
- 18:48Speaker 3: platforms and listening after we're live in southern California. Thank
- 18:53Speaker 3: you for being here. It's a pleasure and an honor
- 18:57Speaker 3: to share the practices and the work of come Back
- 18:59Speaker 3: to Life. All right, We're going to move into another
- 19:04Speaker 3: practice before I let you go today. This one is simple,
- 19:10Speaker 3: and it might be the most challenging. It might be
- 19:12Speaker 3: the most challenging thing that you've been asked all week
- 19:16Speaker 3: so far. And here it is. Sometime in the next
- 19:20Speaker 3: twenty four hours. I want to ask you for something,
- 19:24Speaker 3: not something big, not something that requires a grand gesture
- 19:28Speaker 3: or a vulnerable conversation, but something small. Ask someone to
- 19:34Speaker 3: pass you something, Ask a colleague to help you with
- 19:37Speaker 3: a task. Ask a friend if they have five minutes
- 19:43Speaker 3: to talk. Let someone hold the door for you and
- 19:46Speaker 3: say thank you without rushing through it. And when they
- 19:50Speaker 3: give it to you, use the two second pause. Let
- 19:53Speaker 3: it land, say thank you full stop. And then notice
- 19:59Speaker 3: what happens to in your body. Notice the impulse to
- 20:03Speaker 3: deflect or reciprocate. Just notice it and choose something different,
- 20:09Speaker 3: just this once. That's it, one small act of receiving.
- 20:17Speaker 3: The whole practice of coming back to love begins with
- 20:19Speaker 3: this learning that you were worth receiving from not because
- 20:25Speaker 3: of what you give, but because of who you are.
- 20:30Speaker 3: So I'm going to invite you into this practice. I'm
- 20:33Speaker 3: going to say it one more time so it's clear,
- 20:36Speaker 3: and then I'm going to talk about the deserving piece
- 20:39Speaker 3: for a moment. But the practice, the invitation is I
- 20:42Speaker 3: like to call it sometime in the next twenty four hours,
- 20:46Speaker 3: so sometime before Friday afternoon Friday evening. I want you
- 20:52Speaker 3: to literally ask for something. Because so far I've been
- 20:55Speaker 3: talking about like people that that give or gift. I
- 20:58Speaker 3: like to say gift to you that you're just going
- 21:02Speaker 3: to receive. But that's different, right. The next step is
- 21:05Speaker 3: actually that you ask for something to receive. So again,
- 21:10Speaker 3: it doesn't have to be something big. It can be
- 21:12Speaker 3: something really small. It doesn't have to be a grand
- 21:15Speaker 3: gesture like I said, just something small. You're practicing what
- 21:19Speaker 3: I like to say. And I'm not the founder of
- 21:21Speaker 3: this expression, but somebody I know is and he likes
- 21:25Speaker 3: to say low rep, small rep, high reward. So asking
- 21:31Speaker 3: for something or doing something small that has a significant
- 21:33Speaker 3: contribution to you in starting a new habit and a
- 21:37Speaker 3: new pattern in your life and a new behavior in
- 21:39Speaker 3: your life, something small can have significant impact for you.
- 21:43Speaker 3: So low REP, or you can say small rep, high reward,
- 21:48Speaker 3: high reward to you changing the way you've been moving
- 21:51Speaker 3: through the world in survival mode and instead be receiving love.
- 21:57Speaker 3: And I know that all of you listening would like
- 22:00Speaker 3: to receive more love. So the small rep. In the
- 22:06Speaker 3: next twenty four hours, the invitation is again to ask
- 22:09Speaker 3: for something. It might be like I said, just ask
- 22:11Speaker 3: someone to pass you something at the table you're sitting
- 22:13Speaker 3: at or in your office, but asking even a little
- 22:17Speaker 3: bit more than that, asking your colleague or a friend
- 22:20Speaker 3: to help you with a task, or a neighbor. Yesterday
- 22:24Speaker 3: I asked my neighbor to mow my lawn. And I'm
- 22:26Speaker 3: always asking for support with my house and in my
- 22:31Speaker 3: yards get so unwieldy. Ask a friend if they have
- 22:36Speaker 3: five minutes to talk, because you have something on your
- 22:38Speaker 3: mind that you just want to talk about it and
- 22:39Speaker 3: you'd like someone to listen. Think about something right now
- 22:43Speaker 3: as you're listening to me right here, right now, Think
- 22:46Speaker 3: of something that you would like to receive. Think about
- 22:50Speaker 3: who you can ask someone that feels safe and ask them.
- 22:55Speaker 3: And then you're going to use the practices we've learned
- 22:58Speaker 3: here today that we've been talking about. You're going to
- 23:01Speaker 3: use the two second pause. You're going to let it
- 23:04Speaker 3: land and say thank you, and then's up. And then
- 23:09Speaker 3: notice what happens in your body. Notice if you feel uncomfortable,
- 23:14Speaker 3: Notice if you feel guilty, Notice if you feel like
- 23:18Speaker 3: you just want to run away, your skin is crawling,
- 23:20Speaker 3: And then take a breath. I not that land. One
- 23:27Speaker 3: small act of receiving, this whole practice of receiving honestly
- 23:33Speaker 3: can change your life because when you deflect, when you
- 23:36Speaker 3: put it aside, when you just say okay, thank you
- 23:40Speaker 3: and keep going or run away, it's a way of
- 23:44Speaker 3: saying to the world that you don't deserve what you're
- 23:47Speaker 3: being gifted and again. We talked right in the beginning
- 23:50Speaker 3: of this show about why that is. You know it
- 23:53Speaker 3: developed as a child. That happened when you were a
- 23:55Speaker 3: child for good reasons. It was the family dynamics and
- 23:58Speaker 3: whatever was going on in your family that had you
- 24:03Speaker 3: shift into survival mode, not really needing anything, not rocking
- 24:07Speaker 3: the boat, keeping things steady, being in control of that,
- 24:11Speaker 3: or perceiving that you're in control of that. All good
- 24:15Speaker 3: reasons why you learned this. But as you open to
- 24:17Speaker 3: receiving and continue practicing, you will change your life, honestly,
- 24:24Speaker 3: because you'll start attracting people actually that know how to
- 24:27Speaker 3: give and take with balance. You'll stop attracting takers who
- 24:32Speaker 3: are seeking out those that give, give give, And I
- 24:35Speaker 3: know you want to stop repeating those unhealthy patterns of
- 24:39Speaker 3: relationship over and over again. It is time to change.
- 24:43Speaker 3: It's time to open up to receive love and to
- 24:46Speaker 3: find the balance there because you deserve it, just because
- 24:49Speaker 3: of who you are. It's a really big piece. And
- 24:52Speaker 3: I know it takes a long time to come back
- 24:55Speaker 3: to the self love and to the divine being that
- 24:58Speaker 3: you truly are, But I want to plant that sea
- 25:00Speaker 3: right now because it's true. So in the last two weeks.
- 25:06Speaker 3: I'm so curious what's been landing for you. If you
- 25:10Speaker 3: recognize yourself in high functioning survival mode last week and
- 25:13Speaker 3: an overgiving and not receiving as much today, I want
- 25:17Speaker 3: you to know that the place to go to deepen
- 25:20Speaker 3: this work. I mentioned this last week, I'm going to
- 25:23Speaker 3: mention it again today June twenty first through twenty fifth,
- 25:27Speaker 3: I'm leading a five day immersive workshop at the highly
- 25:31Speaker 3: esteemed and beloved Corpalu Corpollo Yoga Center for Well Being
- 25:36Speaker 3: and Health. It's such an amazing, beautiful place, respected retreat center.
- 25:41Speaker 3: It's in the Berkshire Mountains of western Massachusetts, easy access
- 25:46Speaker 3: to the Albany Airport, the Hartford Airport, or even the
- 25:49Speaker 3: airport in Boston. The workshop is called Rewire for Love,
- 25:53Speaker 3: Healing the blocks to authentic connection and everything we've been
- 25:56Speaker 3: talking about on this show. The survival mode, the overgiving,
- 26:00Speaker 3: the walls we build, the love we block. That is
- 26:02Speaker 3: exactly the work we are going to do together, not
- 26:05Speaker 3: just intellectually, but in the body, in your nervous system,
- 26:10Speaker 3: in the way you actually show up in life. You'll
- 26:13Speaker 3: leave the workshop different. I have watched it happen more
- 26:16Speaker 3: times than I can count. So June twenty first to
- 26:20Speaker 3: twenty fifth Cropolu in the Berkshares. Space is limited. It's
- 26:23Speaker 3: coming up very soon. It's coming up in a couple weeks.
- 26:27Speaker 3: Take a look inside your heart and see if this
- 26:31Speaker 3: is one of your next steps. I would love to
- 26:35Speaker 3: have you feel free always to reach out to me.
- 26:37Speaker 3: You can go to my website come back to Love
- 26:39Speaker 3: dot com and click on contact and reach out to me.
- 26:44Speaker 3: Ask me any questions that you'd like about the upcoming workshop.
- 26:47Speaker 3: I'm really excited to be teaching there. You can also
- 26:51Speaker 3: go to propolo dot org and search Robin Vogel and
- 26:54Speaker 3: find out more information about the workshop, re Wire for Love.
- 26:58Speaker 3: If something in you has been saying as to this
- 27:00Speaker 3: work while you've been listening the past two weeks, trust that, yes,
- 27:04Speaker 3: it's the most alive part of you leading the way.
- 27:08Speaker 3: Thank you for being here today, Thank you for listening
- 27:11Speaker 3: in to come back to Love Radio. If something in
- 27:13Speaker 3: this episode touched you, if you want to explore this
- 27:16Speaker 3: work more personally, again, I just mentioned coming Topola, which
- 27:20Speaker 3: I know is a big leap, but hey, you never know.
- 27:23Speaker 3: I've had people show up at my workshops and retreats
- 27:26Speaker 3: just from listening to one radio show one episode. But
- 27:29Speaker 3: I also do offer a free thirty minute private conversation
- 27:33Speaker 3: just you and me, no agenda except to understand where
- 27:35Speaker 3: you are what might be possible. You can book your
- 27:38Speaker 3: session I come Back to Love dot Com. Just click
- 27:41Speaker 3: book thirty minutes. You deserve to be loved, not for
- 27:46Speaker 3: what you do, not for how much you give, not
- 27:49Speaker 3: for how little you need, but for exactly who you are.
- 27:53Speaker 3: I invite you to let that in. I'm Robin Vogel.
- 27:57Speaker 3: Be gentle with yourself. Love is possible. It's starts with
- 28:00Speaker 3: coming back to you. I'll see you next week. Hi,
- 28:04Speaker 3: this is Robin Vogel, host of come Back to Love.
- 28:07Speaker 3: If you are ready to heal the past and open
- 28:09Speaker 3: your heart to love again, I want to talk with you.
- 28:11Speaker 3: Book a free thirty minute private conversation with me at
- 28:14Speaker 3: comebacktolove dot com. I'll meet you where you are and
- 28:17Speaker 3: give you real tools you can use right now. Because
- 28:20Speaker 3: love isn't just possible for you, it's waiting for you.
- 28:24Speaker 3: Go to comeback toolove dot com and book your free
- 28:26Speaker 3: thirty minutes.
- 28:27Speaker 2: Today you've been listening to come Back to Love with
- 28:37Speaker 2: Robin Vogel a transformative program that covers an endless array
- 28:41Speaker 2: of topics related to relationships, love and intimacy, along with
- 28:45Speaker 2: all the reasons you may be keeping love at a distance.
- 28:48Speaker 2: Tune in each week as Robin gives you practical tools
- 28:50Speaker 2: that can be used to heal the past and help
- 28:53Speaker 2: you to safely love again. Join Robin again next week
- 28:56Speaker 2: at the same time for come Back to Love.