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Living for Him: Roots of People Pleasing · The God Who Sees You Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was this beautiful reminder of we will have these moments where we can either choose to bow to the fear of man or we can choose to bow to God alone.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, friend, and welcome back to the podcast.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: We are going through our series talking about my book on people pleasing for him, Living for God, Not for People.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to share with you a story that really highlighted this issue of people pleasing for me.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was a time when I decided to plan a family trip up to Mammoth Lakes, California.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I am usually the party planner, the trip planner, you know, everything.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: But what happens when I get in these times where I have to plan these things is that I realize nobody's actually happy.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: I realize that I'm trying to make everyone happy.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to do all these things to accommodate everyone, and especially when it comes to planning a trip, I realized that I couldn't make one person happy.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it really revealed something that was going on in my heart.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I talk about this in the book as there's three different roots I talk about that come with people pleasing.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And one of those roots is the root of control.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized on this trip that I couldn't control the happiness of everybody around me.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that was so hard to deal with, right?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because in my heart, I just wanted so deeply for everyone to be happy.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to really sit with the Lord and say, God, why do I want everyone to be so happy?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he revealed to me that there was this root of control going on.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And he also revealed that, hey, deep in your heart, you want everyone to be happy because it makes you feel safe.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that was really hard to hear from the Lord.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: But it was also good because he was starting to expose things in me that I needed healing from.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I needed to see that, hey, even if everybody around me is not happy on this trip, I am still gonna find my joy in Christ.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's one of the roots that I talk about in the book is this root of control.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you find yourself wanting to control the happiness of everybody around you, and and when nobody's happy or when some people aren't happy, you kind of lose your happiness in that situation.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: That is a sign that there's this root of control going on and that you're wanting to control.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Once you get down to the root, you have to ask yourself and sit with the Lord and say, Lord, why am I wanting to control?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on here?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening deep inside of me?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, he he revealed that it was safety, that I wanted to be safe, that I felt more safe when everybody was happy and calm around me.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it felt unsafe when everybody was not happy and not calm.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: So there are so many things going on in our hearts, right?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And God is the only one that can truly search our hearts and know what's going on deep in there.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it was it was revealing to see this and to hear this.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so the other route that I talked about in the book was actually fear.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And specifically, I talked about fear of man.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And God showed me this route when I got a really harsh comment on one of my videos on social media.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a comment about my body, and it was really hurtful.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember looking at it and immediately realizing I could either let this destroy me or I could speak truth over who I am and who God says I am.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think teenage Erica would have been destroyed by that comment.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: I I was looking back at like all that God has brought me through with that, um, and how comments used to really, really get to me because I valued the opinions of others higher than God's opinion of me.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I didn't know that he actually thought all those things about me, but now I do.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: So when I got that comment, I remember it hurt, like they always hurt, right?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Anything that someone says against you will hurt.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't let it take root and I didn't let the fear of man consume me.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: And and I want to give you hope that you can also do this too, friend.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like if there is moments where you are receiving really harsh words or people are speaking things over you that you would never ever want to hear, or or there's just moments where people don't understand you and it can be so hurtful.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to remind you that you still have the capability in you to speak the power of who you are over that situation, of who God has called you to be, of who how he sees you.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because the way that he sees you is often so different than the way that fallen, broken people will see us.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember also when I got that comment, God showed me, you know, there are things happening in this person's life for them to make a comment like this.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: There is brokenness and depth of pain in there for anyone to speak to someone like this.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: So in the middle of me hurting, God also gave me just a perspective, right?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: His perspective that was bigger than this comment.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just want to encourage you that there is so much hope that you can get past letting people's comments define you.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can get past letting the control and the fear define you, and you can walk in faith.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And the last thing that I really talked about in here, this last root, is really the enemy and how he stirs up strife.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And how in John 10, 10 it says the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's his motive.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to guess what he's trying to do.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: His motive is to steal, kill, and destroy.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think we need to keep that in mind, right?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because the enemy will sometimes poke at the things that hurt us most.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like with that comment I got on social media, the enemy knew that this area of how my body is and how the struggles I've had with food and body image, he knew that that is something that would hurt deep if someone poked at that.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: The enemy is wise to know that we are hurt by certain things more than others.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So he will use other people's comments to steal, kill, destroy.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: He will he will take people pleasing.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: If that's something that you are chasing after, the just the admiration of others and the and the, you know, even even things that seem good, right?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like praise, like words of affirmation from others, if you're chasing after that, he will use the opposite, hurtful words, hurtful comments to still steal, kill, and destroy.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's good to remember that at the end of the day, our peace and our assurance comes from Christ and our identity is solid in him.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so if we remember the motives of the enemy, we can also combat against that and remember the motives of our father, of the one who loves us, and his opinion matters the most, right?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that encouraged you.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I also have um in here, I have this great story of the midwives.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the midwives are in Exodus.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I did this great study in Exodus with my church, and it it motivated a lot that went in this book.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: But that that one story of the midwives was beautiful because Pharaoh had sent out this decree that all children would be killed, um, all newborn sons.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: But the midwives, it says, they feared God.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: They feared him more than they feared the opinion or the what Pharaoh could do to them.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: They feared God the most.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it says that when you know these women would have their babies, the midwives would hide them.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And they they feared God and they refused to obey the king's orders, and they allowed even the boys to live too.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: It says later on, um, so God was good to the midwives, and the Israelites continued to multiply, growing more powerful, and because the midwives feared God, he gave them families of their own.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was this beautiful reminder of we will have these moments where we can either choose to bow to the fear of man or we can choose to bow to God alone and how he blessed these midwives and how he wrote their story in his word and just how he honored them and how he showed their faith.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you're stuck in that place where you're like, I could bow to the fear of man right now, or I could bow to the fear of God, I just want to encourage you with the story of the midwives because their faith was so powerful that they were able to only bow to God alone.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this could have meant physical harm for them, it could have meant death, yet they chose faithfulness instead.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: So let me pray for us, friends.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Precious God, thank you for this beautiful story of the midwives.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is so inspiring to me as someone who has struggled with wanting to bow down to the fear of man and wanting to let the enemy just have his way and just spew all this hatred toward me in these comments.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: But God, you are greater.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we know that even though the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, you have overcome.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: You are greater than he that is in the world.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, we thank you for that.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: We stand on the promise that we can trust in you no matter what.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: We can trust in our identity in you.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And God, that you are the only one who has the final say and authority in our lives.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for just your word.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you that we get to dive into these truths.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And just thank you for um the story of the midwives.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's so touching and so good and so inspiring for us, God.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: In your name.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, friends.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you next time.