Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 287: Learning to Choose Yourself: Boundaries, Self-Worth, and Inner Healing w/Guest Angie Hawkins

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E 287: Learning to Choose Yourself: Boundaries, Self-Worth, and Inner Healing w/Guest Angie Hawkins · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  hello
• 0:47
  everybody,
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  welcome
• 0:48
  back.
• 0:49
  So
• 0:49
  happy
• 0:50
  to
• 0:50
  have
• 0:50
  you
• 0:50
  here
• 0:50
  today.
• 0:51
  Today
• 0:51
  we
• 0:51
  have
• 0:51
  with
• 0:51
  us
• 0:52
  Angie
• 0:52
  Hawkins.
• 0:53
  She
• 0:53
  is
• 0:53
  the
• 0:54
  inner
• 0:54
  glow
• 0:54
  coach
• 0:55
  who
• 0:55
  transforms
• 0:56
  women
• 0:56
  from
• 0:56
  chasing
• 0:57
  love
• 0:57
  and
• 0:57
  approval
• 0:58
  to
• 0:58
  radiating
• 0:58
  confidence
• 0:59
  so
• 0:59
  they
• 1:00
  can
• 1:00
  finally
• 1:00
  feel
• 1:00
  free,
• 1:01
  happy,
• 1:01
  and
• 1:02
  love
• 1:02
  for
• 1:02
  who
• 1:02
  they
• 1:03
  are.
• 1:03
  She
• 1:03
  works
• 1:04
  with
• 1:04
  women
• 1:04
  who
• 1:04
  have
• 1:05
  done
• 1:05
  therapy,
• 1:05
  read
• 1:06
  the
• 1:06
  books,
• 1:06
  tried
• 1:06
  the
• 1:07
  spiritual
• 1:07
  path,
• 1:07
  but
• 1:08
  still
• 1:08
  feel
• 1:08
  like
• 1:08
  something's
• 1:09
  missing.
• 1:10
  Through
• 1:10
  deep
• 1:10
  inner
• 1:11
  work
• 1:11
  and
• 1:11
  identity
• 1:12
  transformation,
• 1:13
  she
• 1:13
  helps
• 1:13
  them
• 1:13
  break
• 1:13
  the
• 1:14
  cycle
• 1:14
  of
• 1:14
  not
• 1:14
  feeling,
• 1:15
  feeling
• 1:15
  enough
• 1:16
  so
• 1:16
  they
• 1:16
  can
• 1:16
  experience
• 1:17
  real
• 1:17
  love,
• 1:18
  confidence
• 1:18
  and
• 1:18
  peace
• 1:19
  without
• 1:19
  having
• 1:19
  to
• 1:19
  change
• 1:20
  who
• 1:20
  they
• 1:20
  are.
• 1:21
  She's
• 1:21
  the
• 1:21
  author
• 1:21
  of
• 1:22
  Running
• 1:22
  in
• 1:22
  Slippers,
• 1:23
  a
• 1:23
  raw
• 1:23
  and
• 1:23
  vulnerable
• 1:24
  memoir
• 1:24
  about
• 1:25
  finding
• 1:25
  resilience
• 1:26
  after
• 1:26
  emotional
• 1:27
  rock
• 1:27
  bottom.
• 1:28
  Angie
• 1:28
  has
• 1:28
  moved
• 1:29
  from
• 1:29
  Chicago
• 1:29
  to
• 1:29
  Hawaii
• 1:30
  on
• 1:30
  her
• 1:30
  own,
• 1:31
  jumped
• 1:31
  out
• 1:31
  of
• 1:31
  a
• 1:31
  helicopter
• 1:32
  and
• 1:32
  into
• 1:32
  the
• 1:33
  ocean,
• 1:33
  Navy
• 1:33
  SEAL
• 1:34
  style.
• 1:35
  Bungee
• 1:35
  jump,
• 1:35
  skydive,
• 1:36
  and
• 1:36
  cliff
• 1:37
  jumped.
• 1:37
  Yet
• 1:38
  she
• 1:38
  is
• 1:38
  still
• 1:38
  terrified
• 1:39
  about
• 1:40
  allowing
• 1:40
  herself
• 1:41
  to
• 1:41
  be
• 1:42
  seen.
• 1:42
  Wow.
• 1:43
  Hello,
• 1:43
  Angie.
• 1:44
  So
• 1:44
  glad
• 1:44
  to
• 1:45
  have
• 1:45
  you
• 1:45
  here
• 1:45
  today.
• 1:46
  Hey,
• 1:46
  Tammy,
• 1:47
  thank
• 1:47
  you
• 1:47
  for
• 1:47
  having
• 1:47
  me.
• 1:48
  Oh,
• 1:48
  you
• 1:48
  are
• 1:49
  very
• 1:49
  welcome.
• 1:49
  And
• 1:49
  if
• 1:50
  you
• 1:50
  are
• 1:50
  on
• 1:50
  here
• 1:50
  and
• 1:51
  you
• 1:51
  are
• 1:51
  live
• 1:51
  streaming
• 1:52
  and
• 1:52
  you
• 1:52
  are
• 1:52
  watching,
• 1:53
  please
• 1:53
  feel
• 1:53
  free
• 1:53
  to
• 1:54
  drop
• 1:54
  some
• 1:54
  comments
• 1:54
  in
• 1:55
  there.
• 1:55
  We'll
• 1:55
  be
• 1:55
  sure
• 1:55
  to
• 1:56
  address
• 1:56
  them.
• 1:57
  So
• 1:57
  anyway,
• 1:57
  I,
• 1:58
  after
• 1:58
  looking
• 1:58
  at
• 1:59
  your
• 1:59
  stuff
• 1:59
  and
• 2:00
  kind
• 2:00
  of
• 2:00
  looking
• 2:00
  over
• 2:00
  what
• 2:00
  you
• 2:01
  do
• 2:01
  and
• 2:01
  everything,
• 2:01
  I'm
• 2:02
  like,
• 2:02
  wow,
• 2:02
  we're.
• 2:02
  I
• 2:02
  feel
• 2:03
  like
• 2:03
  we've
• 2:03
  lived
• 2:03
  like
• 2:03
  these
• 2:04
  parallel
• 2:04
  lives
• 2:05
  of,
• 2:06
  of
• 2:06
  utter
• 2:06
  dysfunction.
• 2:07
  Just
• 2:07
  some
• 2:07
  of
• 2:08
  the
• 2:08
  questions
• 2:08
  that
• 2:08
  you
• 2:09
  asked
• 2:09
  me
• 2:09
  to
• 2:09
  ask,
• 2:10
  you
• 2:10
  know,
• 2:10
  while
• 2:10
  we
• 2:10
  were
• 2:11
  on
• 2:11
  the
• 2:11
  show
• 2:11
  and
• 2:11
  things
• 2:11
  we
• 2:12
  talked
• 2:12
  about.
• 2:13
  It's.
• 2:13
  It's
• 2:14
  no
• 2:14
  wonder
• 2:14
  that
• 2:15
  you're
• 2:15
  here
• 2:15
  doing
• 2:15
  what
• 2:16
  you're
• 2:16
  here
• 2:16
  doing.
• 2:17
  Yes.
• 2:17
  So.
• 2:18
  So
• 2:18
  you
• 2:18
  grew
• 2:19
  up
• 2:19
  in
• 2:19
  that
• 2:19
  dysfunctional,
• 2:20
  chaotic
• 2:21
  craziness
• 2:22
  too.
• 2:22
  Hello.
• 2:22
  Right.
• 2:23
  Yes.
• 2:26
  So.
• 2:26
  And
• 2:26
  now
• 2:26
  you
• 2:27
  work
• 2:27
  with
• 2:27
  people
• 2:27
  that
• 2:28
  have
• 2:28
  kind
• 2:28
  of
• 2:28
  been
• 2:28
  through
• 2:29
  that.
• 2:29
  And
• 2:30
  it
• 2:30
  describes
• 2:31
  so
• 2:31
  many
• 2:31
  of
• 2:31
  the
• 2:31
  clients
• 2:32
  that
• 2:32
  come
• 2:32
  to
• 2:32
  me
• 2:32
  as
• 2:32
  well,
• 2:33
  because
• 2:33
  they're
• 2:33
  like,
• 2:33
  I'm
• 2:33
  doing
• 2:34
  all
• 2:34
  the
• 2:34
  things.
• 2:34
  I'm
• 2:34
  going
• 2:35
  to
• 2:35
  therapy.
• 2:35
  I'm
• 2:35
  journaling,
• 2:36
  I'm.
• 2:37
  I'm
• 2:38
  visualizing.
• 2:39
  I'm
• 2:39
  doing
• 2:39
  all
• 2:40
  the
• 2:40
  things,
• 2:40
  and
• 2:40
  I
• 2:41
  still
• 2:41
  just
• 2:41
  can't
• 2:42
  figure
• 2:42
  out
• 2:42
  what's
• 2:43
  wrong.
• 2:44
  Yeah,
• 2:44
  right.
• 2:45
  That's.
• 2:45
  Oh,
• 2:45
  yeah,
• 2:46
  that's
• 2:46
  the
• 2:46
  people.
• 2:47
  That's
• 2:48
  the
• 2:48
  people.
• 2:48
  And,
• 2:49
  and
• 2:49
  if
• 2:49
  you're
• 2:49
  out
• 2:49
  there
• 2:49
  and
• 2:50
  you're
• 2:50
  listening,
• 2:50
  that
• 2:51
  is
• 2:51
  so
• 2:51
  normal.
• 2:52
  And
• 2:52
  there's
• 2:53
  so
• 2:53
  many
• 2:53
  different
• 2:53
  modalities.
• 2:54
  I
• 2:54
  know
• 2:54
  you
• 2:54
  can
• 2:55
  go
• 2:55
  down
• 2:55
  this
• 2:55
  rabbit
• 2:55
  hole,
• 2:56
  hole
• 2:56
  of
• 2:56
  doing
• 2:57
  EMDR
• 2:58
  and
• 2:58
  just
• 2:59
  visualize
• 2:59
  and
• 3:00
  just
• 3:00
  do
• 3:00
  this.
• 3:00
  And
• 3:01
  I
• 3:01
  don't
• 3:01
  know
• 3:01
  how
• 3:01
  many
• 3:02
  times
• 3:02
  people
• 3:02
  said
• 3:02
  to
• 3:02
  me,
• 3:03
  just
• 3:03
  do,
• 3:03
  do
• 3:04
  this.
• 3:04
  And
• 3:05
  at
• 3:05
  the,
• 3:05
  at
• 3:05
  the
• 3:06
  point
• 3:06
  of
• 3:06
  just
• 3:06
  doing
• 3:07
  like
• 3:07
  212,
• 3:08
  000
• 3:08
  different
• 3:08
  things,
• 3:09
  I
• 3:09
  was
• 3:09
  like,
• 3:09
  okay,
• 3:09
  enough
• 3:10
  is
• 3:10
  enough.
• 3:11
  Like,
• 3:11
  I
• 3:11
  need
• 3:12
  rock
• 3:12
  bottom,
• 3:12
  I
• 3:13
  need
• 3:13
  a
• 3:13
  plan.
• 3:14
  And
• 3:14
  there's
• 3:15
  unfortunately
• 3:15
  no
• 3:16
  plan
• 3:16
  for
• 3:17
  linear.
• 3:17
  Like
• 3:18
  healing
• 3:18
  isn't
• 3:19
  linear.
• 3:19
  It's,
• 3:20
  it's
• 3:20
  not
• 3:20
  a
• 3:21
  one
• 3:21
  size
• 3:21
  fits
• 3:22
  all.
• 3:22
  But
• 3:22
  do
• 3:23
  you,
• 3:24
  do
• 3:24
  you
• 3:25
  deal
• 3:25
  mostly
• 3:25
  with
• 3:26
  the
• 3:26
  high
• 3:26
  achieving
• 3:26
  people
• 3:27
  that
• 3:27
  are
• 3:27
  like
• 3:28
  really
• 3:28
  on
• 3:29
  paper
• 3:29
  and
• 3:30
  walking
• 3:30
  around
• 3:31
  to
• 3:31
  the
• 3:31
  average
• 3:31
  world
• 3:32
  look
• 3:32
  like
• 3:33
  everything's
• 3:33
  perfect?
• 3:34
  Absolutely.
• 3:35
  And
• 3:35
  I
• 3:36
  actually
• 3:36
  would
• 3:36
  go
• 3:37
  as
• 3:37
  far
• 3:37
  to
• 3:38
  say,
• 3:38
  because
• 3:38
  there's
• 3:38
  a
• 3:38
  difference
• 3:39
  between
• 3:39
  high
• 3:39
  achieving
• 3:40
  and
• 3:41
  overachieving.
• 3:41
  Right.
• 3:42
  So
• 3:42
  I
• 3:42
  would
• 3:42
  go
• 3:43
  as
• 3:43
  far
• 3:43
  to
• 3:44
  say
• 3:44
  that
• 3:44
  I
• 3:44
  work
• 3:44
  with
• 3:45
  the
• 3:45
  overachievers
• 3:46
  because
• 3:46
  there's,
• 3:47
  it's
• 3:47
  one
• 3:47
  thing
• 3:47
  to
• 3:48
  have
• 3:48
  high
• 3:48
  standards,
• 3:48
  but
• 3:49
  it's
• 3:49
  another
• 3:49
  thing
• 3:49
  to
• 3:50
  have
• 3:50
  impossible
• 3:51
  standards
• 3:51
  and
• 3:52
  then
• 3:52
  beat
• 3:52
  yourself
• 3:52
  up
• 3:53
  for
• 3:53
  not
• 3:53
  meeting
• 3:53
  them.
• 3:54
  So
• 3:54
  outwardly,
• 3:55
  yes,
• 3:56
  they
• 3:56
  look
• 3:56
  like
• 3:56
  they
• 3:57
  have
• 3:57
  it
• 3:57
  all
• 3:57
  together.
• 3:57
  They're
• 3:58
  checking
• 3:58
  off
• 3:58
  all
• 3:58
  the
• 3:58
  boxes,
• 3:59
  but
• 3:59
  they
• 3:59
  are
• 4:00
  miserable,
• 4:00
  miserable
• 4:01
  inside
• 4:01
  because
• 4:02
  it's
• 4:02
  not
• 4:03
  fulfilling
• 4:03
  their
• 4:03
  purpose
• 4:04
  or
• 4:04
  their
• 4:04
  path
• 4:05
  or
• 4:05
  what
• 4:05
  they
• 4:05
  want
• 4:06
  to
• 4:06
  be
• 4:06
  doing.
• 4:06
  It's
• 4:06
  just
• 4:07
  fulfilling
• 4:07
  all
• 4:07
  of
• 4:07
  the
• 4:08
  societal
• 4:09
  or
• 4:09
  family
• 4:09
  expectations
• 4:10
  of
• 4:10
  it.
• 4:11
  And
• 4:11
  it's
• 4:11
  funny
• 4:12
  because
• 4:12
  a
• 4:12
  lot
• 4:12
  of
• 4:12
  those
• 4:13
  people
• 4:13
  grew
• 4:13
  up
• 4:13
  in
• 4:13
  those
• 4:14
  lives
• 4:14
  too.
• 4:14
  I
• 4:14
  mean,
• 4:15
  when
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  grew
• 4:15
  up,
• 4:15
  my
• 4:15
  mom
• 4:16
  and
• 4:16
  dad,
• 4:16
  my
• 4:16
  mom
• 4:17
  was
• 4:17
  a
• 4:17
  child
• 4:18
  psychiatrist,
• 4:18
  believe
• 4:19
  it
• 4:19
  or
• 4:19
  not.
• 4:19
  So
• 4:20
  I,
• 4:20
  I
• 4:20
  always
• 4:20
  say
• 4:21
  I
• 4:21
  was
• 4:21
  literally
• 4:21
  manipulated
• 4:22
  by
• 4:22
  the
• 4:23
  best.
• 4:26
  You
• 4:26
  know,
• 4:26
  my
• 4:26
  dad
• 4:27
  was
• 4:27
  a
• 4:27
  high
• 4:27
  end
• 4:27
  stock
• 4:28
  broker,
• 4:28
  so
• 4:28
  you
• 4:28
  would
• 4:29
  have
• 4:29
  never
• 4:29
  known
• 4:30
  that.
• 4:30
  And.
• 4:31
  Right.
• 4:31
  So
• 4:32
  we,
• 4:32
  we
• 4:32
  had
• 4:33
  this
• 4:34
  thing,
• 4:34
  it
• 4:34
  was
• 4:34
  like
• 4:34
  this
• 4:35
  secrecy.
• 4:36
  You
• 4:36
  know,
• 4:36
  we
• 4:36
  couldn't.
• 4:36
  My
• 4:37
  mom
• 4:37
  was
• 4:37
  a
• 4:37
  child
• 4:37
  psychiatrist.
• 4:38
  No
• 4:38
  way
• 4:38
  could
• 4:39
  it
• 4:39
  ever
• 4:39
  be
• 4:39
  let
• 4:40
  out
• 4:40
  into
• 4:41
  the
• 4:41
  public
• 4:41
  that
• 4:42
  she
• 4:42
  was
• 4:42
  abusing
• 4:42
  her
• 4:43
  own
• 4:43
  children
• 4:44
  or
• 4:44
  that
• 4:44
  she
• 4:44
  was
• 4:45
  drinking
• 4:46
  247
• 4:48
  and
• 4:49
  still
• 4:50
  messing
• 4:50
  with
• 4:50
  little
• 4:50
  minds.
• 4:51
  Like,
• 4:51
  so
• 4:52
  we
• 4:52
  had
• 4:52
  this
• 4:52
  like
• 4:53
  air
• 4:54
  of
• 4:54
  secrecy.
• 4:55
  And
• 4:55
  when
• 4:55
  you
• 4:55
  have
• 4:56
  that,
• 4:56
  you
• 4:56
  of
• 4:57
  course
• 4:57
  grow
• 4:58
  up
• 4:58
  with
• 4:58
  that
• 4:58
  shame
• 4:58
  and
• 4:59
  that
• 4:59
  doubt
• 4:59
  and
• 5:00
  that
• 5:01
  just
• 5:01
  not
• 5:01
  being
• 5:01
  able
• 5:02
  to
• 5:02
  be
• 5:02
  who
• 5:02
  you
• 5:02
  are
• 5:02
  or
• 5:03
  say
• 5:03
  who
• 5:03
  you
• 5:03
  are
• 5:03
  for
• 5:03
  fear
• 5:04
  of
• 5:04
  repercussions
• 5:05
  of
• 5:05
  nothing
• 5:05
  else.
• 5:06
  Right?
• 5:07
  Yeah,
• 5:07
  yeah.
• 5:08
  That's
• 5:08
  so
• 5:08
  relatable
• 5:09
  because
• 5:09
  I
• 5:09
  think
• 5:09
  sweeping
• 5:10
  things
• 5:10
  under
• 5:10
  the
• 5:11
  rug,
• 5:11
  a
• 5:11
  lot
• 5:11
  of
• 5:11
  people
• 5:11
  have
• 5:12
  that
• 5:12
  experience
• 5:13
  and
• 5:13
  that's
• 5:13
  what
• 5:14
  leads
• 5:14
  to
• 5:14
  that
• 5:15
  like,
• 5:15
  strong
• 5:16
  one
• 5:16
  facade.
• 5:17
  Because
• 5:17
  you
• 5:17
  do
• 5:17
  not
• 5:18
  want
• 5:18
  anyone
• 5:18
  to
• 5:18
  see
• 5:19
  what's
• 5:19
  going
• 5:19
  on
• 5:20
  behind
• 5:20
  the
• 5:20
  scenes.
• 5:20
  Because
• 5:20
  that's
• 5:21
  how
• 5:21
  you
• 5:21
  were
• 5:21
  brought
• 5:21
  up.
• 5:22
  Right?
• 5:22
  Do
• 5:23
  you
• 5:23
  do,
• 5:23
  did
• 5:24
  you
• 5:24
  go
• 5:24
  through
• 5:24
  therapy?
• 5:25
  Was
• 5:25
  that
• 5:25
  one
• 5:25
  of
• 5:25
  your
• 5:25
  modalities
• 5:26
  that
• 5:26
  you
• 5:26
  use
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  kind
• 5:27
  of
• 5:27
  heal
• 5:27
  yourself?
• 5:28
  And
• 5:29
  yeah,
• 5:30
  I,
• 5:30
  it
• 5:30
  was
• 5:30
  not
• 5:31
  like
• 5:31
  talk
• 5:31
  therapy
• 5:32
  was
• 5:32
  not
• 5:32
  effective
• 5:32
  for
• 5:33
  me
• 5:33
  because
• 5:33
  it
• 5:33
  was
• 5:34
  a
• 5:34
  situation
• 5:35
  where,
• 5:36
  you
• 5:36
  know,
• 5:37
  you
• 5:37
  go
• 5:37
  and
• 5:37
  you
• 5:37
  talk
• 5:38
  to
• 5:38
  the
• 5:38
  therapist
• 5:38
  that
• 5:39
  feels
• 5:39
  good
• 5:39
  in
• 5:39
  the
• 5:39
  moment
• 5:40
  and
• 5:40
  then
• 5:40
  you
• 5:41
  leave
• 5:41
  and
• 5:41
  it's
• 5:41
  like,
• 5:42
  okay,
• 5:42
  what
• 5:42
  do
• 5:42
  I
• 5:42
  do
• 5:43
  with
• 5:43
  this?
• 5:43
  Because
• 5:43
  it
• 5:44
  just
• 5:44
  felt
• 5:44
  like
• 5:44
  more
• 5:45
  information
• 5:45
  because
• 5:46
  it
• 5:46
  was
• 5:46
  also
• 5:46
  at
• 5:46
  a
• 5:47
  period
• 5:47
  of
• 5:47
  my
• 5:47
  life
• 5:47
  where
• 5:48
  I
• 5:48
  also
• 5:48
  read
• 5:48
  a
• 5:48
  lot
• 5:49
  of
• 5:49
  self
• 5:49
  help
• 5:49
  books
• 5:50
  and
• 5:50
  it's
• 5:51
  like,
• 5:51
  okay,
• 5:51
  this
• 5:51
  is
• 5:51
  great,
• 5:52
  it's
• 5:52
  a
• 5:52
  lot
• 5:52
  of
• 5:52
  information,
• 5:53
  but
• 5:54
  then
• 5:54
  what
• 5:54
  do
• 5:54
  I
• 5:54
  do
• 5:54
  with
• 5:54
  it?
• 5:55
  And
• 5:55
  even
• 5:55
  with
• 5:55
  self
• 5:56
  help
• 5:56
  books,
• 5:57
  like,
• 5:57
  there
• 5:57
  may
• 5:57
  be
• 5:57
  guidance
• 5:58
  on
• 5:58
  this
• 5:58
  is
• 5:58
  what
• 5:58
  you
• 5:59
  do
• 5:59
  with
• 5:59
  it,
• 5:59
  but
• 5:59
  it's
• 6:00
  for
• 6:00
  the
• 6:00
  masses
• 6:01
  like
• 6:01
  it.
• 6:01
  You
• 6:01
  don't
• 6:02
  know
• 6:02
  what
• 6:02
  to
• 6:02
  do
• 6:02
  in
• 6:02
  your
• 6:02
  own
• 6:03
  individual
• 6:03
  circumstances.
• 6:05
  And
• 6:05
  I
• 6:05
  remember
• 6:05
  with
• 6:06
  one
• 6:06
  of
• 6:06
  my
• 6:06
  therapists,
• 6:07
  I
• 6:07
  kept
• 6:07
  asking
• 6:08
  her
• 6:08
  like,
• 6:08
  okay,
• 6:09
  what
• 6:09
  can
• 6:09
  I
• 6:09
  do?
• 6:09
  What
• 6:10
  can
• 6:10
  I
• 6:10
  do?
• 6:10
  And
• 6:10
  she
• 6:11
  would,
• 6:12
  I
• 6:13
  don't
• 6:13
  want
• 6:13
  to
• 6:13
  say
• 6:13
  shame
• 6:13
  me,
• 6:13
  but
• 6:14
  she
• 6:14
  would
• 6:14
  like
• 6:15
  blame
• 6:15
  my
• 6:16
  like.
• 6:16
  And
• 6:16
  I
• 6:16
  was
• 6:17
  like
• 6:17
  a
• 6:17
  doer
• 6:17
  and
• 6:18
  perfectionist.
• 6:19
  And
• 6:19
  so
• 6:19
  maybe
• 6:19
  it
• 6:19
  was
• 6:20
  like
• 6:20
  me
• 6:21
  not
• 6:21
  communicating,
• 6:21
  but
• 6:22
  it's
• 6:22
  like
• 6:22
  I
• 6:22
  wanted
• 6:22
  to
• 6:22
  be
• 6:23
  like
• 6:23
  implementing
• 6:23
  what
• 6:24
  I
• 6:24
  learned.
• 6:25
  And
• 6:25
  she
• 6:25
  was
• 6:25
  like
• 6:26
  kind
• 6:26
  of
• 6:26
  blaming
• 6:27
  my
• 6:27
  perfectionism
• 6:28
  and
• 6:28
  like
• 6:29
  doing
• 6:29
  and
• 6:29
  achieving.
• 6:30
  And
• 6:30
  it's
• 6:30
  like,
• 6:31
  I
• 6:31
  just
• 6:31
  want
• 6:31
  it
• 6:31
  to
• 6:31
  like
• 6:32
  feel
• 6:32
  better,
• 6:32
  you
• 6:33
  know,
• 6:33
  And
• 6:33
  I'm
• 6:33
  just,
• 6:33
  I
• 6:33
  just
• 6:34
  want
• 6:34
  to
• 6:34
  do
• 6:34
  something
• 6:34
  because
• 6:35
  just
• 6:35
  talking
• 6:35
  about
• 6:36
  it
• 6:36
  didn't
• 6:37
  work
• 6:37
  for
• 6:37
  me.
• 6:38
  Well,
• 6:38
  and
• 6:39
  we
• 6:39
  now
• 6:39
  know.
• 6:39
  I
• 6:40
  mean,
• 6:40
  it's
• 6:40
  like
• 6:40
  the
• 6:40
  talk
• 6:41
  therapy
• 6:41
  is
• 6:41
  great.
• 6:41
  And
• 6:42
  don't
• 6:42
  get
• 6:42
  me
• 6:42
  wrong,
• 6:42
  if
• 6:42
  you're
• 6:42
  out
• 6:43
  there
• 6:43
  and
• 6:43
  you're
• 6:43
  in
• 6:43
  therapy,
• 6:44
  I
• 6:44
  100%
• 6:45
  highly
• 6:45
  recommend
• 6:46
  for
• 6:46
  me.
• 6:46
  It
• 6:46
  was
• 6:46
  a
• 6:47
  starting
• 6:47
  point
• 6:48
  for
• 6:48
  me.
• 6:48
  It
• 6:48
  was
• 6:49
  to
• 6:49
  help
• 6:49
  me
• 6:49
  become
• 6:50
  violently
• 6:50
  aware
• 6:52
  of
• 6:52
  my
• 6:53
  patterns
• 6:53
  that
• 6:53
  I
• 6:53
  had
• 6:54
  developed
• 6:54
  and
• 6:54
  to
• 6:55
  take
• 6:55
  some
• 6:55
  of
• 6:55
  the
• 6:55
  shame
• 6:55
  and
• 6:56
  the
• 6:56
  guilt
• 6:56
  out
• 6:56
  of
• 6:56
  the
• 6:56
  fact
• 6:57
  and
• 6:57
  understand
• 6:57
  that
• 6:58
  none
• 6:58
  of
• 6:58
  it
• 6:58
  was
• 6:58
  my
• 6:59
  fault
• 6:59
  that
• 6:59
  I,
• 7:00
  you
• 7:00
  know,
• 7:00
  but
• 7:01
  you're
• 7:01
  right,
• 7:01
  it
• 7:02
  didn't
• 7:02
  help
• 7:02
  me
• 7:03
  actually
• 7:03
  alleviate
• 7:04
  the
• 7:04
  feelings.
• 7:04
  I
• 7:04
  could
• 7:05
  talk
• 7:05
  about
• 7:05
  it
• 7:05
  all
• 7:05
  I
• 7:05
  want.
• 7:06
  Yeah.
• 7:06
  But
• 7:07
  I
• 7:07
  had
• 7:07
  to
• 7:08
  get
• 7:08
  into
• 7:08
  my
• 7:09
  body.
• 7:09
  I
• 7:09
  had
• 7:10
  to
• 7:10
  really
• 7:10
  start
• 7:10
  getting
• 7:11
  into
• 7:11
  my
• 7:11
  body
• 7:12
  and
• 7:12
  being
• 7:13
  like,
• 7:13
  okay,
• 7:13
  I
• 7:13
  have
• 7:13
  these
• 7:13
  feelings,
• 7:14
  I'm
• 7:14
  journaling
• 7:15
  them
• 7:15
  out,
• 7:15
  it's
• 7:15
  still
• 7:15
  not
• 7:15
  working.
• 7:16
  So
• 7:16
  now
• 7:16
  I'm
• 7:16
  going
• 7:16
  to
• 7:16
  burn
• 7:17
  them
• 7:17
  and
• 7:17
  I'm
• 7:17
  going
• 7:17
  to
• 7:17
  rip
• 7:17
  them
• 7:18
  up
• 7:18
  and
• 7:18
  whatever
• 7:18
  I
• 7:19
  had
• 7:19
  to
• 7:19
  do.
• 7:19
  Like,
• 7:19
  I
• 7:19
  was
• 7:19
  like,
• 7:19
  get
• 7:20
  it
• 7:20
  the
• 7:20
  heck
• 7:21
  out
• 7:21
  of
• 7:21
  my
• 7:21
  body.
• 7:22
  So
• 7:22
  what
• 7:23
  finally
• 7:23
  started
• 7:23
  working
• 7:24
  for
• 7:24
  you
• 7:24
  and
• 7:24
  really
• 7:24
  clicking?
• 7:26
  What
• 7:26
  worked
• 7:27
  for
• 7:27
  me
• 7:27
  is
• 7:27
  when
• 7:27
  I
• 7:28
  finally
• 7:28
  invested
• 7:29
  in
• 7:29
  myself
• 7:29
  and
• 7:29
  hired
• 7:30
  a
• 7:30
  coach.
• 7:30
  Because
• 7:31
  we
• 7:32
  would
• 7:32
  talk
• 7:33
  just
• 7:33
  like
• 7:33
  you
• 7:33
  might
• 7:33
  with
• 7:34
  a
• 7:34
  therapist.
• 7:34
  But
• 7:34
  then
• 7:35
  he
• 7:35
  would
• 7:35
  say,
• 7:36
  like,
• 7:36
  because
• 7:36
  maybe
• 7:37
  like
• 7:37
  if
• 7:37
  we
• 7:37
  talked
• 7:38
  about
• 7:38
  boundaries
• 7:38
  and
• 7:38
  then
• 7:39
  he
• 7:39
  would
• 7:39
  say,
• 7:39
  okay,
• 7:40
  you
• 7:40
  need
• 7:40
  to
• 7:40
  like
• 7:40
  set
• 7:41
  this
• 7:41
  boundary
• 7:41
  and
• 7:42
  enforce
• 7:42
  this
• 7:42
  boundary.
• 7:43
  And
• 7:43
  I
• 7:43
  would
• 7:43
  actually
• 7:43
  have
• 7:44
  action
• 7:45
  steps
• 7:46
  to
• 7:46
  like.
• 7:47
  And
• 7:47
  that
• 7:47
  would
• 7:48
  like
• 7:48
  change
• 7:48
  my
• 7:48
  behaviors
• 7:49
  and
• 7:49
  habits,
• 7:50
  which
• 7:50
  ultimately
• 7:50
  changed
• 7:51
  my
• 7:51
  beliefs.
• 7:52
  And
• 7:52
  I
• 7:52
  Was
• 7:52
  like,
• 7:52
  oh,
• 7:52
  this
• 7:53
  works
• 7:53
  for
• 7:53
  me,
• 7:54
  right?
• 7:55
  Yeah.
• 7:55
  It's
• 7:55
  funny
• 7:56
  that
• 7:56
  you
• 7:56
  said
• 7:56
  the
• 7:56
  boundaries,
• 7:57
  because
• 7:57
  that
• 7:57
  was
• 7:57
  a
• 7:57
  good
• 7:57
  big
• 7:58
  place
• 7:58
  to
• 7:58
  start.
• 7:58
  And
• 7:59
  I
• 7:59
  remember
• 7:59
  the
• 7:59
  first
• 7:59
  time.
• 8:00
  Do
• 8:00
  you
• 8:00
  remember
• 8:00
  the
• 8:00
  first
• 8:00
  time
• 8:01
  you
• 8:01
  actually
• 8:01
  tried
• 8:01
  to
• 8:01
  set
• 8:02
  a
• 8:02
  boundary?
• 8:03
  Oh,
• 8:03
  yeah.
• 8:04
  What
• 8:04
  was
• 8:04
  your
• 8:05
  experience?
• 8:06
  Oh,
• 8:06
  it
• 8:06
  wasn't
• 8:06
  good
• 8:07
  because
• 8:07
  it
• 8:07
  was
• 8:07
  with
• 8:08
  my
• 8:08
  mom.
• 8:08
  And
• 8:09
  of
• 8:09
  course
• 8:09
  she
• 8:10
  got
• 8:10
  mad
• 8:10
  and
• 8:10
  she
• 8:10
  told
• 8:11
  me
• 8:11
  I
• 8:11
  was
• 8:11
  being
• 8:11
  mean.
• 8:12
  And
• 8:12
  this
• 8:12
  was
• 8:13
  actually
• 8:13
  before
• 8:13
  I
• 8:13
  started
• 8:14
  working
• 8:14
  with
• 8:14
  a
• 8:14
  coach.
• 8:15
  So
• 8:15
  in
• 8:15
  my
• 8:16
  mind,
• 8:16
  I
• 8:16
  was
• 8:16
  like,
• 8:16
  I'm
• 8:16
  never
• 8:17
  doing
• 8:17
  that
• 8:17
  again.
• 8:18
  But
• 8:18
  then
• 8:19
  with
• 8:19
  my
• 8:19
  coach,
• 8:20
  he
• 8:20
  was
• 8:20
  like,
• 8:20
  okay,
• 8:21
  we're
• 8:21
  going
• 8:21
  to
• 8:21
  start
• 8:21
  small.
• 8:22
  But
• 8:23
  then
• 8:23
  a
• 8:23
  big
• 8:23
  part
• 8:24
  of
• 8:24
  it,
• 8:24
  which
• 8:25
  I
• 8:25
  don't
• 8:25
  think
• 8:26
  I
• 8:26
  would
• 8:26
  have
• 8:27
  came
• 8:27
  to
• 8:27
  this
• 8:27
  conclusion
• 8:28
  on
• 8:28
  my
• 8:28
  own.
• 8:29
  It's
• 8:29
  one
• 8:29
  thing
• 8:29
  to
• 8:30
  set
• 8:30
  a
• 8:30
  boundary,
• 8:31
  but
• 8:31
  it's
• 8:31
  another
• 8:32
  thing
• 8:32
  to
• 8:32
  enforce
• 8:33
  it.
• 8:33
  And
• 8:34
  that's
• 8:34
  what
• 8:34
  he
• 8:35
  and
• 8:35
  I,
• 8:35
  like,
• 8:35
  really
• 8:36
  had
• 8:36
  to
• 8:36
  do
• 8:36
  the
• 8:36
  work
• 8:36
  on.
• 8:37
  Because,
• 8:37
  trust
• 8:37
  me,
• 8:37
  if
• 8:38
  you
• 8:38
  set
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  boundary,
• 8:38
  that
• 8:39
  doesn't
• 8:39
  mean
• 8:39
  someone's
• 8:40
  going
• 8:40
  to
• 8:40
  respect
• 8:40
  it.
• 8:41
  So
• 8:41
  that's
• 8:42
  where
• 8:42
  the
• 8:42
  real
• 8:42
  work
• 8:42
  comes
• 8:43
  in,
• 8:43
  because
• 8:43
  then
• 8:43
  you
• 8:44
  have
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  enforce
• 8:44
  it.
• 8:45
  But
• 8:45
  we
• 8:46
  started
• 8:46
  small.
• 8:46
  So
• 8:47
  I
• 8:47
  remember
• 8:47
  the
• 8:47
  first
• 8:47
  place
• 8:48
  I
• 8:48
  really
• 8:48
  started
• 8:49
  setting
• 8:49
  boundaries
• 8:50
  at
• 8:50
  the
• 8:51
  time
• 8:51
  I
• 8:51
  worked
• 8:51
  in
• 8:51
  corporate
• 8:52
  America.
• 8:52
  So
• 8:52
  I
• 8:53
  was
• 8:53
  like,
• 8:53
  I'm
• 8:53
  just
• 8:53
  going
• 8:53
  to
• 8:53
  start
• 8:54
  setting
• 8:54
  boundaries
• 8:54
  around
• 8:55
  my
• 8:55
  time,
• 8:55
  because
• 8:55
  that
• 8:56
  was
• 8:56
  a
• 8:56
  really.
• 8:57
  That
• 8:57
  was
• 8:57
  a
• 8:57
  definite
• 8:58
  energy
• 8:58
  leak
• 8:58
  for
• 8:59
  me
• 8:59
  at
• 8:59
  the
• 8:59
  time.
• 9:00
  And
• 9:00
  the
• 9:00
  funny
• 9:01
  thing
• 9:01
  about
• 9:01
  it
• 9:01
  was
• 9:02
  people
• 9:03
  actually
• 9:03
  started
• 9:04
  respecting
• 9:04
  me
• 9:04
  more
• 9:05
  to
• 9:05
  the
• 9:05
  point
• 9:05
  where
• 9:06
  I
• 9:06
  would
• 9:07
  get
• 9:07
  compliments
• 9:07
  on
• 9:07
  my
• 9:08
  boundaries.
• 9:08
  And,
• 9:08
  like,
• 9:09
  people
• 9:09
  would
• 9:09
  be
• 9:09
  like,
• 9:09
  how
• 9:09
  do
• 9:10
  you
• 9:10
  do
• 9:10
  it?
• 9:10
  And
• 9:10
  they
• 9:10
  actually
• 9:10
  wanted
• 9:11
  advice
• 9:11
  from
• 9:11
  me.
• 9:12
  And
• 9:12
  that
• 9:13
  was
• 9:13
  enough
• 9:13
  to
• 9:14
  motivate
• 9:14
  me
• 9:15
  to
• 9:15
  keep
• 9:15
  doing
• 9:15
  it
• 9:16
  at
• 9:16
  work,
• 9:16
  but
• 9:16
  then
• 9:16
  also
• 9:17
  do
• 9:17
  it
• 9:17
  in
• 9:17
  other
• 9:17
  places
• 9:18
  in
• 9:18
  my
• 9:18
  life.
• 9:19
  Exactly.
• 9:19
  And
• 9:20
  you're
• 9:20
  right
• 9:20
  about
• 9:20
  the
• 9:20
  starting
• 9:21
  small,
• 9:21
  because
• 9:21
  I
• 9:21
  tell
• 9:22
  people,
• 9:22
  if
• 9:23
  you
• 9:23
  have
• 9:23
  not
• 9:23
  especially,
• 9:23
  like
• 9:24
  you
• 9:24
  said
• 9:24
  you
• 9:24
  tried
• 9:24
  with
• 9:25
  your
• 9:25
  mom.
• 9:25
  I
• 9:25
  mean,
• 9:25
  how
• 9:26
  long
• 9:26
  had
• 9:26
  that
• 9:26
  not
• 9:27
  been
• 9:27
  a
• 9:27
  boundary?
• 9:27
  And
• 9:27
  all
• 9:27
  of
• 9:27
  a
• 9:28
  sudden
• 9:28
  you're
• 9:28
  like,
• 9:28
  oh,
• 9:28
  I'm
• 9:28
  gonna
• 9:28
  do
• 9:28
  this.
• 9:29
  And
• 9:29
  I.
• 9:30
  I
• 9:30
  caution
• 9:30
  people
• 9:31
  with
• 9:31
  anything
• 9:32
  you,
• 9:32
  you
• 9:32
  know,
• 9:32
  baby
• 9:33
  steps.
• 9:33
  Yeah.
• 9:34
  So
• 9:34
  I
• 9:34
  tell,
• 9:34
  like,
• 9:34
  I'll
• 9:35
  tell
• 9:35
  my
• 9:35
  clients,
• 9:35
  well,
• 9:36
  start
• 9:36
  small,
• 9:36
  and
• 9:36
  don't
• 9:36
  start
• 9:37
  with
• 9:37
  something
• 9:37
  that
• 9:38
  matters
• 9:38
  to
• 9:38
  you.
• 9:39
  Go
• 9:39
  to
• 9:39
  a
• 9:39
  restaurant
• 9:40
  and
• 9:40
  order
• 9:41
  something
• 9:41
  that's
• 9:41
  not
• 9:41
  on
• 9:41
  the
• 9:41
  menu.
• 9:43
  Oh,
• 9:43
  that's
• 9:43
  a
• 9:43
  good
• 9:43
  one.
• 9:44
  Just
• 9:44
  start
• 9:44
  getting
• 9:45
  these
• 9:45
  yes
• 9:45
  and
• 9:46
  no
• 9:46
  things.
• 9:46
  I
• 9:46
  mean,
• 9:47
  if
• 9:47
  they
• 9:47
  say,
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  know,
• 9:48
  if
• 9:48
  I
• 9:48
  go
• 9:48
  into
• 9:48
  a
• 9:48
  restaurant
• 9:49
  and
• 9:49
  I
• 9:49
  want
• 9:49
  chicken
• 9:49
  and
• 9:50
  I
• 9:50
  want
• 9:50
  them
• 9:50
  to
• 9:50
  parmesan
• 9:51
  breading
• 9:51
  on
• 9:52
  it,
• 9:52
  and
• 9:52
  they
• 9:52
  say,
• 9:52
  well,
• 9:52
  I'm
• 9:52
  sorry,
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  can't
• 9:53
  do
• 9:53
  that.
• 9:53
  Okay.
• 9:55
  Didn't
• 9:55
  hurt
• 9:55
  me,
• 9:55
  didn't
• 9:56
  kill
• 9:56
  me,
• 9:56
  and
• 9:57
  what
• 9:57
  that
• 9:57
  does
• 9:57
  is
• 9:57
  it
• 9:58
  shows
• 9:58
  you
• 9:58
  that
• 9:58
  first
• 9:58
  of
• 9:59
  all,
• 9:59
  a
• 9:59
  no
• 9:59
  or
• 10:00
  rejection
• 10:01
  to
• 10:01
  that
• 10:01
  boundary
• 10:01
  is
• 10:02
  not
• 10:02
  the
• 10:02
  end
• 10:02
  of
• 10:02
  the
• 10:02
  world.
• 10:03
  So
• 10:03
  boundaries
• 10:04
  are
• 10:04
  not
• 10:04
  scary.
• 10:06
  But
• 10:06
  also
• 10:07
  that
• 10:07
  if
• 10:07
  they
• 10:08
  do,
• 10:08
  watch
• 10:09
  what
• 10:09
  happens
• 10:09
  when
• 10:09
  they're
• 10:09
  like,
• 10:10
  yeah,
• 10:10
  hold
• 10:10
  on,
• 10:10
  let
• 10:10
  me
• 10:10
  see
• 10:10
  if
• 10:11
  we
• 10:11
  can
• 10:11
  do
• 10:11
  that.
• 10:11
  And
• 10:11
  they
• 10:11
  come
• 10:11
  back
• 10:12
  and
• 10:12
  be
• 10:12
  like,
• 10:12
  hey,
• 10:12
  this
• 10:12
  chef
• 10:13
  said
• 10:13
  we
• 10:13
  could
• 10:13
  do
• 10:13
  that.
• 10:13
  You're
• 10:14
  like,
• 10:14
  yeah.
• 10:14
  And
• 10:15
  then
• 10:15
  all
• 10:15
  of
• 10:15
  a
• 10:15
  sudden
• 10:15
  it's
• 10:16
  like
• 10:16
  you
• 10:16
  poof
• 10:16
  up
• 10:16
  your
• 10:17
  big
• 10:17
  rooster
• 10:18
  chest
• 10:19
  and
• 10:19
  you're
• 10:19
  like,
• 10:19
  ah,
• 10:19
  I
• 10:20
  can
• 10:20
  do
• 10:20
  this.
• 10:20
  And
• 10:21
  it
• 10:21
  becomes
• 10:21
  easier
• 10:22
  and
• 10:22
  easier.
• 10:23
  But
• 10:23
  I
• 10:23
  remember
• 10:23
  the
• 10:24
  first
• 10:24
  one
• 10:24
  with
• 10:24
  me
• 10:24
  was
• 10:25
  just
• 10:25
  that
• 10:25
  I
• 10:25
  had
• 10:25
  been
• 10:26
  talked
• 10:26
  to
• 10:26
  so
• 10:26
  poorly
• 10:27
  my
• 10:27
  entire
• 10:27
  life,
• 10:28
  and
• 10:28
  it
• 10:28
  was
• 10:29
  with
• 10:29
  my
• 10:29
  first
• 10:29
  husband.
• 10:30
  My
• 10:30
  friend
• 10:30
  said
• 10:30
  to
• 10:31
  me,
• 10:31
  you
• 10:31
  know,
• 10:31
  Tammy,
• 10:31
  it's
• 10:31
  not,
• 10:32
  it's
• 10:32
  not
• 10:32
  okay
• 10:32
  that
• 10:32
  he
• 10:33
  talked
• 10:33
  to
• 10:33
  you
• 10:33
  that
• 10:33
  way.
• 10:34
  It's
• 10:34
  not
• 10:34
  okay
• 10:35
  on
• 10:35
  a
• 10:35
  regular
• 10:36
  basis.
• 10:36
  That.
• 10:36
  That's
• 10:37
  just
• 10:37
  how
• 10:37
  he,
• 10:37
  like,
• 10:38
  you
• 10:38
  don't
• 10:38
  do
• 10:38
  that
• 10:38
  to
• 10:39
  someone
• 10:39
  you
• 10:39
  love.
• 10:39
  And
• 10:39
  I'm
• 10:40
  like,
• 10:40
  really?
• 10:40
  So
• 10:40
  the
• 10:41
  next
• 10:41
  time
• 10:41
  it
• 10:41
  was
• 10:41
  like
• 10:42
  he
• 10:42
  said
• 10:42
  something,
• 10:42
  probably
• 10:43
  the
• 10:43
  same
• 10:43
  comment,
• 10:43
  you
• 10:44
  know,
• 10:44
  which
• 10:44
  I
• 10:44
  was
• 10:44
  used
• 10:44
  to.
• 10:46
  And
• 10:46
  I
• 10:46
  was
• 10:46
  like,
• 10:46
  you
• 10:46
  know
• 10:46
  that
• 10:47
  I
• 10:47
  don't
• 10:47
  like
• 10:47
  that.
• 10:48
  Please
• 10:48
  don't
• 10:48
  ever
• 10:49
  say
• 10:49
  that
• 10:49
  to
• 10:49
  me
• 10:49
  again.
• 10:49
  He's
• 10:50
  like,
• 10:50
  oh,
• 10:50
  I'm
• 10:50
  sorry.
• 10:50
  I
• 10:50
  didn't
• 10:50
  even
• 10:51
  realize,
• 10:51
  you
• 10:51
  know,
• 10:51
  I
• 10:51
  didn't
• 10:52
  even
• 10:52
  think
• 10:52
  about
• 10:52
  it.
• 10:53
  And
• 10:53
  I
• 10:53
  was
• 10:54
  like,
• 10:54
  wow,
• 10:55
  that
• 10:55
  was
• 10:56
  fun.
• 10:57
  Like,
• 10:57
  that
• 10:57
  was
• 10:57
  easy.
• 10:58
  And
• 10:59
  so
• 11:00
  it
• 11:00
  was.
• 11:00
  But
• 11:00
  it
• 11:00
  took
• 11:00
  a
• 11:01
  minute.
• 11:01
  Like,
• 11:01
  it
• 11:01
  took
• 11:02
  a
• 11:02
  minute
• 11:02
  and
• 11:03
  you
• 11:03
  know,
• 11:03
  start.
• 11:04
  Just
• 11:05
  little
• 11:05
  things
• 11:05
  though,
• 11:06
  start,
• 11:06
  start
• 11:06
  baby
• 11:06
  steps.
• 11:07
  It's
• 11:07
  like
• 11:07
  everything,
• 11:08
  you
• 11:08
  know.
• 11:08
  But
• 11:08
  you're
• 11:08
  right
• 11:09
  about
• 11:09
  the
• 11:09
  enforcing
• 11:10
  them,
• 11:10
  because
• 11:10
  if
• 11:10
  you
• 11:10
  don't
• 11:11
  enforce
• 11:11
  them
• 11:11
  and
• 11:12
  somebody
• 11:12
  violates
• 11:13
  them,
• 11:13
  them
• 11:14
  and
• 11:14
  then
• 11:14
  they.
• 11:15
  You
• 11:15
  give
• 11:16
  in.
• 11:17
  You
• 11:17
  literally,
• 11:18
  it's
• 11:18
  almost
• 11:18
  like
• 11:18
  having
• 11:19
  a
• 11:19
  reverse,
• 11:19
  like,
• 11:20
  negative
• 11:20
  reaction
• 11:21
  in
• 11:21
  the
• 11:21
  other
• 11:21
  opposite
• 11:22
  direction.
• 11:22
  Because
• 11:23
  now
• 11:23
  you've
• 11:23
  just
• 11:23
  said
• 11:24
  my
• 11:24
  boundaries
• 11:25
  don't
• 11:25
  matter.
• 11:25
  Like,
• 11:26
  my
• 11:26
  boundaries
• 11:27
  don't
• 11:27
  mean
• 11:27
  anything.
• 11:28
  Yeah,
• 11:29
  right.
• 11:31
  Exactly.
• 11:33
  So
• 11:33
  it's
• 11:33
  like
• 11:33
  if
• 11:33
  you
• 11:34
  give
• 11:34
  in
• 11:34
  once,
• 11:35
  then
• 11:35
  they're
• 11:35
  like,
• 11:35
  okay,
• 11:36
  oh,
• 11:36
  that's
• 11:36
  easy.
• 11:36
  I
• 11:36
  just
• 11:37
  have
• 11:37
  to
• 11:37
  push
• 11:37
  her
• 11:37
  a
• 11:37
  little
• 11:37
  harder.
• 11:38
  She's
• 11:38
  eventually
• 11:38
  going
• 11:38
  to
• 11:39
  give
• 11:39
  in.
• 11:39
  Yeah.
• 11:39
  And
• 11:40
  so
• 11:40
  I,
• 11:40
  there's
• 11:40
  actually
• 11:41
  a
• 11:41
  term
• 11:41
  for
• 11:41
  it,
• 11:41
  but
• 11:42
  it's
• 11:42
  slipping
• 11:42
  my
• 11:42
  mind
• 11:42
  right
• 11:43
  now.
• 11:43
  But
• 11:44
  yeah,
• 11:44
  it's.
• 11:45
  It's.
• 11:45
  It's
• 11:46
  crazy.
• 11:47
  So.
• 11:48
  But
• 11:48
  I
• 11:49
  have,
• 11:49
  I
• 11:49
  have
• 11:49
  a
• 11:50
  whole
• 11:50
  30
• 11:50
  day
• 11:51
  or
• 11:51
  14
• 11:51
  day
• 11:52
  boundary
• 11:52
  reset
• 11:53
  challenge.
• 11:53
  But
• 11:54
  you,
• 11:54
  like
• 11:54
  you
• 11:54
  said,
• 11:55
  it's
• 11:55
  implementing
• 11:56
  steps
• 11:56
  day
• 11:57
  one.
• 11:57
  Try
• 11:58
  this
• 11:58
  day
• 11:59
  to
• 11:59
  try
• 11:59
  this.
• 12:00
  And
• 12:01
  let's
• 12:02
  talk,
• 12:02
  because
• 12:02
  I
• 12:02
  was
• 12:02
  actually,
• 12:02
  my
• 12:03
  last
• 12:03
  episode
• 12:03
  I
• 12:04
  just
• 12:04
  did,
• 12:04
  we
• 12:04
  talked
• 12:05
  about
• 12:05
  the
• 12:05
  difference
• 12:05
  between,
• 12:06
  like,
• 12:06
  therapy
• 12:07
  versus
• 12:07
  coaching
• 12:08
  what
• 12:08
  do
• 12:09
  you
• 12:09
  look
• 12:09
  at
• 12:09
  as
• 12:09
  the
• 12:09
  difference
• 12:10
  in
• 12:10
  like
• 12:10
  what
• 12:10
  you
• 12:11
  do
• 12:11
  with
• 12:11
  your
• 12:11
  clients?
• 12:13
  I
• 12:14
  think
• 12:14
  the
• 12:14
  biggest
• 12:14
  difference
• 12:15
  is
• 12:16
  having
• 12:17
  the
• 12:18
  steps
• 12:18
  that
• 12:19
  you
• 12:19
  can
• 12:19
  implement
• 12:20
  in
• 12:20
  your
• 12:20
  everyday
• 12:21
  life
• 12:21
  and
• 12:21
  having
• 12:22
  like
• 12:22
  the
• 12:22
  quote
• 12:22
  unquote
• 12:23
  homework
• 12:23
  that
• 12:23
  you're
• 12:24
  implementing.
• 12:25
  And
• 12:25
  also
• 12:26
  another
• 12:26
  thing
• 12:27
  that
• 12:28
  I
• 12:28
  do
• 12:28
  for
• 12:28
  my
• 12:28
  clients
• 12:29
  and
• 12:29
  my
• 12:29
  coach
• 12:29
  did
• 12:30
  for
• 12:30
  me
• 12:30
  is
• 12:31
  like,
• 12:31
  I'm
• 12:31
  not
• 12:31
  available
• 12:32
  24
• 12:32
  7,
• 12:33
  but
• 12:33
  if
• 12:34
  they
• 12:34
  do
• 12:34
  need
• 12:34
  to
• 12:34
  email
• 12:35
  me
• 12:35
  or
• 12:35
  text
• 12:35
  me
• 12:36
  in
• 12:36
  between
• 12:36
  sessions,
• 12:37
  like
• 12:37
  say
• 12:37
  they
• 12:37
  did
• 12:37
  do
• 12:38
  the
• 12:38
  thing
• 12:38
  and
• 12:38
  it
• 12:38
  didn't
• 12:39
  work
• 12:39
  out
• 12:39
  the
• 12:39
  way
• 12:39
  they
• 12:39
  wanted
• 12:40
  to
• 12:40
  and
• 12:40
  they
• 12:40
  need
• 12:41
  quick
• 12:41
  advice
• 12:41
  in
• 12:41
  the
• 12:42
  moment,
• 12:42
  I
• 12:43
  can
• 12:43
  be
• 12:43
  available
• 12:43
  for
• 12:44
  them.
• 12:44
  And
• 12:44
  you
• 12:45
  know,
• 12:45
  therapy
• 12:45
  definitely
• 12:46
  doesn't
• 12:46
  work
• 12:46
  like
• 12:46
  that
• 12:46
  or
• 12:47
  like
• 12:47
  they
• 12:47
  will
• 12:48
  bill
• 12:48
  you
• 12:48
  or
• 12:48
  your
• 12:48
  insurance
• 12:49
  or
• 12:50
  they
• 12:50
  maybe
• 12:50
  just
• 12:50
  don't
• 12:51
  have
• 12:51
  the
• 12:51
  time.
• 12:52
  So
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  think
• 12:52
  it's
• 12:53
  the
• 12:53
  biggest
• 12:54
  difference
• 12:55
  is
• 12:56
  the
• 12:56
  practical
• 12:57
  advice
• 12:57
  to
• 12:58
  have
• 12:58
  actionable
• 12:59
  steps
• 12:59
  to,
• 12:59
  to
• 13:00
  actually
• 13:00
  change
• 13:00
  your
• 13:01
  behaviors
• 13:01
  and
• 13:01
  habits,
• 13:02
  which
• 13:02
  is
• 13:03
  actually
• 13:03
  going
• 13:03
  to
• 13:03
  change
• 13:03
  your
• 13:04
  beliefs.
• 13:05
  Yep.
• 13:05
  Which
• 13:06
  I
• 13:06
  just
• 13:06
  think
• 13:06
  is
• 13:06
  more
• 13:07
  efficient
• 13:07
  because
• 13:08
  like
• 13:08
  you
• 13:08
  can
• 13:08
  go
• 13:08
  to
• 13:09
  therapy
• 13:09
  for
• 13:09
  years
• 13:09
  and
• 13:10
  be
• 13:10
  talking
• 13:10
  about
• 13:10
  something
• 13:11
  before
• 13:11
  it
• 13:11
  really
• 13:12
  sinks
• 13:12
  in,
• 13:12
  but
• 13:13
  if
• 13:13
  you're
• 13:13
  truly
• 13:14
  doing
• 13:14
  it
• 13:14
  in
• 13:15
  your
• 13:15
  day
• 13:15
  to
• 13:15
  day
• 13:15
  life,
• 13:16
  it's
• 13:16
  way
• 13:16
  more
• 13:17
  efficient
• 13:17
  that
• 13:17
  way.
• 13:18
  Yes,
• 13:18
  I,
• 13:19
  I
• 13:19
  agree.
• 13:19
  And
• 13:19
  I've
• 13:20
  had
• 13:20
  some
• 13:20
  really
• 13:20
  good
• 13:20
  coaches
• 13:21
  where
• 13:21
  I
• 13:22
  love
• 13:22
  that.
• 13:22
  I
• 13:22
  don't
• 13:22
  want
• 13:23
  to
• 13:23
  say
• 13:23
  you
• 13:23
  have
• 13:23
  247
• 13:24
  instant
• 13:25
  access
• 13:25
  to
• 13:25
  every
• 13:26
  coach
• 13:26
  you
• 13:26
  work
• 13:26
  with.
• 13:26
  Guys,
• 13:27
  that's
• 13:27
  not
• 13:27
  what
• 13:27
  I'm
• 13:27
  saying.
• 13:28
  It's
• 13:28
  not
• 13:28
  right.
• 13:28
  But
• 13:28
  it
• 13:28
  was
• 13:29
  nice.
• 13:29
  No,
• 13:30
  that's
• 13:30
  not
• 13:30
  realistic
• 13:30
  at
• 13:31
  all.
• 13:31
  But
• 13:31
  it
• 13:31
  is
• 13:31
  nice
• 13:32
  to
• 13:32
  have
• 13:32
  a
• 13:32
  hotline
• 13:33
  or
• 13:33
  to
• 13:33
  have,
• 13:33
  you
• 13:34
  know,
• 13:34
  just
• 13:34
  to
• 13:34
  be
• 13:34
  able
• 13:34
  to
• 13:34
  drop
• 13:35
  in
• 13:35
  a
• 13:35
  casual
• 13:36
  Facebook
• 13:36
  group
• 13:36
  and
• 13:37
  talk
• 13:37
  to
• 13:37
  the
• 13:37
  community.
• 13:38
  Because
• 13:39
  a
• 13:39
  lot
• 13:39
  of
• 13:39
  coaching,
• 13:39
  you
• 13:40
  know,
• 13:40
  we
• 13:40
  have
• 13:40
  a
• 13:40
  group
• 13:40
  community
• 13:41
  and
• 13:41
  it's
• 13:41
  all
• 13:41
  people
• 13:42
  that
• 13:42
  have
• 13:42
  been
• 13:42
  through
• 13:42
  the
• 13:42
  same
• 13:43
  things,
• 13:44
  I
• 13:44
  think
• 13:44
  too,
• 13:45
  a
• 13:45
  lot
• 13:45
  of
• 13:45
  times.
• 13:45
  And
• 13:46
  I
• 13:46
  love
• 13:46
  this.
• 13:46
  And
• 13:47
  you
• 13:47
  probably,
• 13:48
  it
• 13:48
  sounds
• 13:48
  like
• 13:48
  you
• 13:49
  do
• 13:49
  you
• 13:49
  work
• 13:50
  with
• 13:50
  people
• 13:50
  that
• 13:50
  had
• 13:50
  very
• 13:51
  similar
• 13:51
  growing
• 13:51
  up
• 13:52
  experiences
• 13:52
  to
• 13:53
  you.
• 13:53
  Yeah.
• 13:54
  So
• 13:55
  where
• 13:55
  my,
• 13:55
  I
• 13:56
  mean,
• 13:56
  like
• 13:56
  I
• 13:56
  said
• 13:56
  my
• 13:56
  mother
• 13:57
  was
• 13:57
  a
• 13:57
  child
• 13:57
  psychiatrist
• 13:58
  and
• 14:00
  she,
• 14:01
  I
• 14:01
  could
• 14:01
  go
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  someone
• 14:03
  like
• 14:03
  her,
• 14:04
  but
• 14:04
  I'm
• 14:05
  like,
• 14:05
  but
• 14:05
  if
• 14:05
  your
• 14:06
  mother
• 14:06
  wasn't,
• 14:07
  if
• 14:07
  that
• 14:07
  psychiatrist
• 14:08
  mother
• 14:09
  wasn't
• 14:09
  an
• 14:09
  alcoholic,
• 14:10
  they,
• 14:10
  they
• 14:10
  still
• 14:11
  don't
• 14:11
  have
• 14:11
  that
• 14:12
  empathetic
• 14:13
  kind
• 14:13
  of
• 14:13
  like
• 14:13
  be
• 14:14
  able
• 14:14
  to
• 14:14
  put
• 14:14
  themselves
• 14:15
  in
• 14:15
  my
• 14:15
  shoes
• 14:16
  kind
• 14:16
  of
• 14:16
  experience.
• 14:18
  Yeah.
• 14:18
  And
• 14:18
  I
• 14:19
  think
• 14:19
  that
• 14:19
  makes
• 14:19
  a
• 14:19
  big
• 14:19
  difference
• 14:20
  because
• 14:21
  like
• 14:21
  my,
• 14:22
  my
• 14:22
  mom
• 14:22
  wasn't
• 14:22
  an
• 14:22
  alcoholic,
• 14:23
  so.
• 14:23
  So
• 14:24
  I
• 14:24
  can,
• 14:24
  my
• 14:25
  dad
• 14:25
  was
• 14:25
  though.
• 14:25
  But
• 14:25
  you
• 14:25
  know
• 14:26
  what
• 14:26
  I
• 14:26
  mean?
• 14:26
  Like,
• 14:26
  I
• 14:26
  can
• 14:26
  kind
• 14:27
  of
• 14:27
  understand
• 14:27
  your
• 14:27
  situation,
• 14:28
  but
• 14:28
  it's
• 14:28
  not
• 14:28
  the
• 14:29
  same
• 14:29
  as
• 14:29
  actually
• 14:29
  being
• 14:30
  in
• 14:30
  that
• 14:30
  same
• 14:30
  situation.
• 14:31
  Right.
• 14:32
  And
• 14:32
  there's
• 14:33
  a
• 14:33
  coach
• 14:33
  for
• 14:33
  everything.
• 14:33
  There's
• 14:34
  a
• 14:34
  coach
• 14:34
  for
• 14:34
  high
• 14:35
  achieving
• 14:35
  women,
• 14:35
  there's
• 14:35
  a
• 14:36
  coach
• 14:36
  for
• 14:36
  overachieving
• 14:37
  women.
• 14:37
  There's
• 14:37
  a
• 14:37
  coach
• 14:38
  for
• 14:38
  ACOAs.
• 14:38
  I
• 14:39
  mean,
• 14:39
  I
• 14:39
  started
• 14:39
  when
• 14:40
  I
• 14:40
  started,
• 14:40
  I
• 14:40
  only
• 14:41
  really
• 14:41
  dealt
• 14:41
  with
• 14:42
  adult
• 14:42
  children
• 14:42
  of
• 14:42
  alcoholics.
• 14:43
  Okay.
• 14:44
  Because
• 14:44
  I'm
• 14:44
  like,
• 14:44
  I've
• 14:45
  been
• 14:45
  there,
• 14:45
  done
• 14:45
  it,
• 14:46
  spent
• 14:46
  30
• 14:46
  years
• 14:47
  working
• 14:47
  on
• 14:47
  myself.
• 14:48
  I've
• 14:48
  tried
• 14:48
  every
• 14:48
  trick
• 14:49
  in
• 14:49
  the
• 14:49
  book.
• 14:49
  I
• 14:49
  get
• 14:49
  where
• 14:50
  you're
• 14:50
  coming
• 14:50
  from,
• 14:50
  you
• 14:50
  know,
• 14:51
  and
• 14:51
  that
• 14:51
  makes
• 14:51
  a
• 14:51
  huge
• 14:52
  difference.
• 14:53
  So
• 14:53
  talk
• 14:53
  to
• 14:53
  me
• 14:54
  about.
• 14:54
  And
• 14:54
  I'm
• 14:55
  just
• 14:55
  kind
• 14:55
  of
• 14:55
  looking
• 14:55
  at
• 14:55
  some
• 14:56
  of
• 14:56
  the
• 14:56
  questions
• 14:56
  that
• 14:56
  we
• 14:57
  were
• 14:57
  going
• 14:57
  to
• 14:57
  talk
• 14:57
  about
• 14:57
  and
• 14:58
  I
• 14:58
  kind
• 14:58
  of
• 14:58
  get
• 14:58
  derailed
• 14:59
  sometimes.
• 14:59
  And
• 14:59
  we
• 14:59
  go
• 15:00
  all
• 15:00
  over
• 15:00
  the
• 15:00
  place.
• 15:01
  You
• 15:01
  know,
• 15:04
  why
• 15:05
  do
• 15:05
  we
• 15:06
  struggle
• 15:07
  so
• 15:07
  hard
• 15:08
  with
• 15:08
  those
• 15:08
  boundaries?
• 15:09
  And
• 15:09
  we
• 15:09
  talked
• 15:09
  about
• 15:09
  setting
• 15:10
  them
• 15:10
  and
• 15:10
  how
• 15:10
  hard
• 15:10
  they
• 15:10
  are.
• 15:11
  But
• 15:11
  why
• 15:11
  do
• 15:11
  you
• 15:11
  think
• 15:12
  people
• 15:12
  from
• 15:12
  those
• 15:12
  dysfunctional
• 15:13
  homes
• 15:13
  struggle
• 15:14
  so
• 15:15
  hard
• 15:15
  with
• 15:15
  it?
• 15:17
  I
• 15:17
  think
• 15:17
  the
• 15:17
  main
• 15:18
  reason
• 15:18
  is
• 15:19
  low
• 15:19
  self
• 15:20
  worth,
• 15:20
  because
• 15:20
  you
• 15:21
  don't
• 15:21
  even
• 15:21
  think
• 15:21
  you're
• 15:22
  worthy
• 15:23
  of
• 15:23
  having
• 15:23
  your
• 15:24
  time,
• 15:24
  energy
• 15:25
  or
• 15:25
  whatever
• 15:25
  respected.
• 15:26
  I
• 15:26
  mean,
• 15:26
  to
• 15:26
  your
• 15:27
  point.
• 15:27
  And
• 15:27
  I
• 15:28
  struggled
• 15:28
  with
• 15:28
  the
• 15:28
  same
• 15:29
  thing.
• 15:29
  If
• 15:29
  someone
• 15:30
  was
• 15:31
  putting
• 15:31
  me
• 15:32
  down
• 15:32
  or
• 15:32
  even
• 15:32
  just
• 15:33
  verbally
• 15:33
  saying
• 15:34
  something
• 15:34
  that
• 15:34
  was
• 15:34
  disrespectful
• 15:35
  for
• 15:36
  a
• 15:36
  long
• 15:36
  time,
• 15:36
  it
• 15:37
  was
• 15:37
  just
• 15:37
  like,
• 15:37
  oh,
• 15:38
  that's
• 15:38
  what
• 15:38
  I
• 15:38
  deserve.
• 15:39
  I
• 15:39
  don't
• 15:39
  deserve
• 15:39
  to
• 15:40
  be
• 15:40
  talked
• 15:40
  to
• 15:40
  any
• 15:41
  better.
• 15:41
  So
• 15:41
  it's
• 15:42
  just
• 15:42
  like
• 15:42
  not
• 15:42
  even
• 15:42
  knowing
• 15:43
  that
• 15:43
  you
• 15:43
  deserve
• 15:44
  better
• 15:44
  and
• 15:44
  having
• 15:45
  that
• 15:45
  standard
• 15:45
  where
• 15:45
  you're
• 15:46
  going
• 15:46
  to
• 15:46
  be
• 15:46
  like,
• 15:46
  nope,
• 15:46
  this
• 15:47
  is
• 15:47
  where
• 15:47
  I
• 15:47
  draw
• 15:47
  the
• 15:47
  line
• 15:47
  and
• 15:48
  have
• 15:48
  to
• 15:48
  set
• 15:48
  a
• 15:48
  boundary.
• 15:49
  Absolutely.
• 15:50
  And
• 15:50
  a
• 15:50
  lot
• 15:51
  of
• 15:51
  times,
• 15:51
  like
• 15:51
  in
• 15:51
  my
• 15:51
  case,
• 15:54
  boundaries.
• 15:54
  Well,
• 15:54
  first
• 15:54
  of
• 15:55
  all,
• 15:55
  there's.
• 15:55
  It
• 15:56
  goes
• 15:56
  either
• 15:56
  way.
• 15:56
  You
• 15:57
  probably
• 15:57
  can
• 15:58
  attest
• 15:58
  to
• 15:58
  this.
• 15:59
  You
• 15:59
  either
• 15:59
  have
• 16:00
  no
• 16:00
  boundaries
• 16:00
  in
• 16:00
  your
• 16:01
  house.
• 16:01
  Yeah.
• 16:02
  Or
• 16:02
  they're
• 16:02
  so
• 16:03
  strict
• 16:03
  and
• 16:03
  controlling.
• 16:04
  Or
• 16:05
  you
• 16:05
  have
• 16:06
  kind
• 16:06
  of
• 16:06
  mediocre
• 16:07
  boundaries,
• 16:07
  but
• 16:07
  they're
• 16:08
  so
• 16:08
  quickly
• 16:08
  violated
• 16:09
  that
• 16:09
  they
• 16:09
  don't
• 16:10
  seem
• 16:10
  to
• 16:10
  matter
• 16:11
  anyway.
• 16:11
  Like,
• 16:11
  I
• 16:12
  didn't
• 16:12
  have
• 16:12
  privacy.
• 16:13
  There
• 16:13
  was
• 16:13
  no
• 16:14
  privacy
• 16:14
  in
• 16:14
  my
• 16:15
  house.
• 16:15
  So,
• 16:16
  like,
• 16:16
  when
• 16:16
  people
• 16:16
  started
• 16:17
  saying
• 16:17
  to
• 16:17
  me,
• 16:17
  start
• 16:18
  journaling,
• 16:19
  that
• 16:19
  was
• 16:19
  very
• 16:20
  difficult
• 16:20
  for
• 16:20
  me
• 16:20
  because
• 16:21
  I
• 16:21
  would
• 16:21
  tell
• 16:21
  people,
• 16:21
  stay
• 16:22
  out
• 16:22
  of
• 16:22
  my
• 16:22
  diary.
• 16:23
  Stay
• 16:23
  out
• 16:23
  of
• 16:23
  my
• 16:23
  diary.
• 16:24
  Like,
• 16:24
  that's
• 16:24
  disrespectful.
• 16:25
  It's
• 16:25
  rude.
• 16:25
  It's
• 16:26
  my
• 16:26
  diary.
• 16:27
  But
• 16:27
  it
• 16:27
  was
• 16:27
  read
• 16:27
  every
• 16:28
  night
• 16:28
  when
• 16:28
  I.
• 16:28
  Or
• 16:28
  every
• 16:29
  day
• 16:29
  when
• 16:29
  I
• 16:29
  would
• 16:29
  go
• 16:29
  to
• 16:29
  school.
• 16:30
  So
• 16:32
  it
• 16:32
  was
• 16:32
  like
• 16:33
  they
• 16:33
  were
• 16:33
  so
• 16:33
  quickly
• 16:33
  violated
• 16:34
  that
• 16:34
  I.
• 16:35
  I
• 16:35
  guess
• 16:36
  it
• 16:36
  goes
• 16:36
  back
• 16:36
  to.
• 16:36
  I
• 16:37
  didn't
• 16:37
  think
• 16:37
  they
• 16:37
  were
• 16:37
  important
• 16:37
  enough.
• 16:38
  Exactly.
• 16:39
  Yeah.
• 16:41
  But.
• 16:42
  So,
• 16:44
  excuse
• 16:44
  me.
• 16:46
  But
• 16:46
  literally,
• 16:46
  when
• 16:46
  you're
• 16:47
  going
• 16:47
  through
• 16:47
  that
• 16:47
  whole
• 16:47
  healing
• 16:48
  process,
• 16:49
  boundaries
• 16:49
  are
• 16:49
  something
• 16:49
  that
• 16:51
  you
• 16:51
  will
• 16:51
  deal
• 16:51
  with
• 16:51
  literally
• 16:52
  your
• 16:52
  entire
• 16:52
  life.
• 16:53
  Oh,
• 16:54
  yeah,
• 16:54
  they
• 16:55
  never
• 16:55
  go
• 16:55
  away.
• 16:55
  And
• 16:56
  also,
• 16:57
  and
• 16:57
  this
• 16:57
  is
• 16:58
  something
• 16:58
  I
• 16:58
  like
• 16:58
  to
• 16:59
  stress
• 16:59
  to
• 16:59
  my
• 16:59
  clients,
• 17:00
  the
• 17:00
  guilt
• 17:01
  may
• 17:01
  never
• 17:01
  go
• 17:02
  away,
• 17:02
  but
• 17:03
  the
• 17:03
  key
• 17:03
  is
• 17:04
  like,
• 17:04
  feeling
• 17:04
  safe
• 17:04
  in
• 17:05
  your
• 17:05
  body
• 17:05
  while
• 17:05
  you're
• 17:06
  feeling
• 17:06
  your
• 17:06
  feelings,
• 17:07
  because
• 17:07
  you,
• 17:07
  like,
• 17:08
  what's
• 17:08
  this
• 17:09
  term?
• 17:09
  Like,
• 17:10
  new
• 17:10
  levels,
• 17:11
  new
• 17:11
  devils?
• 17:12
  Because
• 17:12
  once
• 17:12
  you
• 17:12
  get
• 17:13
  comfortable
• 17:13
  setting
• 17:13
  boundaries
• 17:14
  at
• 17:14
  a
• 17:14
  certain
• 17:14
  level,
• 17:15
  then
• 17:15
  you
• 17:16
  gain
• 17:16
  the
• 17:16
  confidence
• 17:16
  and
• 17:17
  motivation
• 17:17
  to
• 17:17
  do
• 17:18
  it
• 17:18
  at
• 17:18
  the
• 17:18
  next
• 17:18
  level.
• 17:19
  So
• 17:20
  because
• 17:20
  you're
• 17:20
  always,
• 17:20
  like,
• 17:21
  up
• 17:21
  leveling
• 17:21
  in
• 17:21
  your
• 17:21
  boundaries
• 17:22
  like
• 17:22
  that,
• 17:23
  the
• 17:23
  guilt
• 17:23
  and
• 17:24
  fear
• 17:24
  may
• 17:24
  never
• 17:24
  go
• 17:25
  away,
• 17:25
  but
• 17:25
  the
• 17:25
  key
• 17:26
  is
• 17:26
  feeling
• 17:26
  safe
• 17:26
  in
• 17:27
  your
• 17:27
  body
• 17:27
  while
• 17:28
  you
• 17:28
  do
• 17:28
  it.
• 17:28
  Because
• 17:28
  you
• 17:28
  respect
• 17:29
  yourself
• 17:30
  to
• 17:30
  know
• 17:30
  that
• 17:31
  you
• 17:31
  deserve
• 17:31
  that
• 17:31
  level
• 17:31
  of
• 17:32
  respect.
• 17:32
  Exactly.
• 17:33
  Talk
• 17:33
  a
• 17:33
  little
• 17:34
  bit
• 17:34
  more
• 17:34
  about
• 17:34
  that
• 17:34
  because
• 17:35
  I
• 17:35
  love
• 17:35
  talking
• 17:35
  about
• 17:36
  your
• 17:36
  safety
• 17:36
  and
• 17:36
  your
• 17:36
  body.
• 17:37
  Because
• 17:37
  it's
• 17:38
  the
• 17:38
  key
• 17:38
  to
• 17:38
  everything,
• 17:38
  really.
• 17:39
  Everything
• 17:39
  is
• 17:40
  nervous
• 17:40
  system
• 17:41
  regulate
• 17:41
  or,
• 17:42
  you
• 17:42
  know.
• 17:42
  Yeah.
• 17:43
  Stems
• 17:44
  around
• 17:44
  the
• 17:44
  nervous
• 17:44
  system.
• 17:45
  So
• 17:45
  talk
• 17:45
  a
• 17:45
  little
• 17:45
  bit
• 17:45
  more
• 17:46
  about
• 17:46
  that.
• 17:46
  Yeah,
• 17:46
  I
• 17:47
  mean,
• 17:47
  my
• 17:47
  whole
• 17:48
  thing.
• 17:48
  Yeah.
• 17:48
  I
• 17:48
  tell
• 17:49
  my
• 17:49
  clients,
• 17:49
  I
• 17:49
  tell
• 17:49
  everyone
• 17:50
  this.
• 17:50
  Your
• 17:50
  emotional
• 17:51
  and
• 17:51
  physical
• 17:52
  safety
• 17:52
  should
• 17:52
  always
• 17:53
  be
• 17:53
  your
• 17:53
  number
• 17:53
  one
• 17:54
  priority.
• 17:55
  And
• 17:55
  being
• 17:56
  a
• 17:56
  human
• 17:56
  being
• 17:56
  means
• 17:57
  feeling
• 17:57
  feeling.
• 17:58
  So
• 17:58
  there's
• 17:58
  nothing
• 17:59
  wrong
• 17:59
  with
• 18:00
  feeling
• 18:00
  guilt
• 18:00
  or
• 18:01
  fear
• 18:01
  or
• 18:01
  whatever
• 18:01
  when
• 18:02
  you're
• 18:02
  doing
• 18:02
  something
• 18:02
  scary.
• 18:03
  That's
• 18:03
  actually
• 18:03
  very
• 18:04
  normal.
• 18:05
  The
• 18:05
  difference
• 18:05
  is,
• 18:06
  you
• 18:07
  know,
• 18:07
  we're
• 18:07
  adults
• 18:07
  now,
• 18:08
  so,
• 18:08
  you
• 18:09
  know,
• 18:09
  our
• 18:09
  nervous
• 18:09
  system
• 18:10
  is
• 18:10
  trying
• 18:10
  to,
• 18:11
  like,
• 18:11
  alert
• 18:11
  us
• 18:12
  of
• 18:12
  danger.
• 18:13
  But
• 18:13
  as
• 18:13
  an
• 18:13
  adult,
• 18:14
  we
• 18:14
  need
• 18:14
  to
• 18:14
  be
• 18:14
  like,
• 18:15
  am
• 18:15
  I
• 18:15
  really
• 18:15
  in
• 18:16
  danger?
• 18:16
  Or
• 18:17
  is
• 18:17
  this
• 18:18
  just
• 18:18
  like
• 18:18
  this
• 18:19
  story
• 18:19
  that
• 18:19
  I'm
• 18:19
  making
• 18:19
  up
• 18:20
  in
• 18:20
  my
• 18:20
  head
• 18:20
  that's
• 18:20
  exacerbating
• 18:21
  the
• 18:21
  whole
• 18:21
  thing?
• 18:22
  And
• 18:22
  if
• 18:22
  you're
• 18:22
  truly
• 18:23
  not
• 18:23
  in
• 18:23
  danger,
• 18:24
  then
• 18:24
  we
• 18:25
  are
• 18:25
  accountable
• 18:25
  for
• 18:26
  our
• 18:26
  own
• 18:26
  emotional
• 18:27
  regulation
• 18:27
  and
• 18:28
  making
• 18:29
  sure
• 18:29
  that
• 18:29
  we
• 18:29
  feel
• 18:29
  safe
• 18:30
  in
• 18:30
  our
• 18:30
  body
• 18:30
  in
• 18:30
  the
• 18:31
  moment.
• 18:31
  So
• 18:31
  that
• 18:31
  should
• 18:32
  always
• 18:32
  be
• 18:32
  your
• 18:32
  number
• 18:32
  one
• 18:33
  priority
• 18:33
  when
• 18:33
  you're
• 18:34
  setting
• 18:34
  boundaries.
• 18:36
  Actually,
• 18:36
  this.
• 18:36
  And
• 18:37
  this
• 18:37
  is
• 18:37
  what
• 18:37
  I
• 18:37
  tell
• 18:37
  my
• 18:37
  clients
• 18:38
  and
• 18:38
  everybody,
• 18:38
  that
• 18:39
  should
• 18:39
  be
• 18:39
  your
• 18:39
  number
• 18:39
  one
• 18:40
  priority
• 18:40
  every
• 18:40
  day,
• 18:41
  regardless
• 18:41
  of
• 18:41
  what
• 18:41
  you're
• 18:42
  doing,
• 18:42
  like,
• 18:42
  checking
• 18:43
  in
• 18:43
  with
• 18:43
  yourself,
• 18:43
  making
• 18:44
  sure
• 18:44
  that
• 18:44
  you
• 18:44
  are
• 18:45
  feeling
• 18:45
  regulated.
• 18:46
  Because
• 18:46
  if
• 18:46
  you're
• 18:47
  not,
• 18:47
  it's
• 18:47
  just
• 18:47
  going
• 18:47
  to,
• 18:47
  like,
• 18:48
  exacerbate
• 18:48
  any
• 18:49
  situation
• 18:49
  that
• 18:49
  you're
• 18:50
  in.
• 18:50
  Especially,
• 18:51
  like,
• 18:51
  if
• 18:51
  you're
• 18:52
  in,
• 18:52
  like,
• 18:52
  the
• 18:52
  guilt
• 18:52
  or
• 18:53
  fear
• 18:53
  or
• 18:53
  like,
• 18:53
  these
• 18:54
  escalated
• 18:55
  emotional
• 18:55
  intensities.
• 18:56
  Yep.
• 18:57
  And
• 18:57
  I.
• 18:57
  I
• 18:57
  work
• 18:58
  a
• 18:58
  lot
• 18:58
  with
• 18:58
  clients
• 18:58
  on.
• 18:59
  Just
• 18:59
  let's
• 18:59
  get
• 19:00
  your
• 19:00
  baseline.
• 19:01
  Like,
• 19:01
  if
• 19:01
  you
• 19:01
  walk
• 19:01
  in
• 19:01
  on
• 19:02
  a
• 19:02
  normal
• 19:02
  day
• 19:02
  and
• 19:03
  you
• 19:03
  wake
• 19:03
  up
• 19:03
  in
• 19:03
  the
• 19:03
  morning
• 19:04
  and
• 19:04
  you're
• 19:04
  not
• 19:04
  doing
• 19:04
  something
• 19:05
  to
• 19:05
  calm
• 19:05
  yourself
• 19:06
  or
• 19:06
  doing
• 19:06
  something
• 19:06
  to
• 19:07
  get
• 19:07
  yourself
• 19:07
  regulated,
• 19:08
  if
• 19:08
  you're
• 19:08
  walking
• 19:09
  around
• 19:09
  at
• 19:09
  a
• 19:09
  6
• 19:09
  or
• 19:10
  7
• 19:11
  on
• 19:11
  a
• 19:11
  baseline,
• 19:12
  like,
• 19:12
  as
• 19:12
  far
• 19:12
  as
• 19:12
  a
• 19:13
  stressor,
• 19:13
  and
• 19:13
  the
• 19:14
  smallest
• 19:14
  little
• 19:14
  thing
• 19:15
  happens
• 19:15
  you're
• 19:15
  not
• 19:16
  even
• 19:16
  in
• 19:16
  your
• 19:16
  logical
• 19:17
  thinking
• 19:17
  brain
• 19:17
  to
• 19:18
  react
• 19:18
  correctly.
• 19:19
  Like
• 19:19
  you're
• 19:19
  to
• 19:19
  process.
• 19:20
  You're
• 19:21
  literally
• 19:21
  just
• 19:21
  completely
• 19:22
  reactive.
• 19:23
  And
• 19:24
  that's
• 19:24
  such
• 19:24
  a
• 19:25
  stressful
• 19:25
  way
• 19:26
  to
• 19:26
  live.
• 19:26
  Like
• 19:26
  it's
• 19:26
  so,
• 19:27
  it's
• 19:27
  so
• 19:28
  exhausting
• 19:28
  on.
• 19:28
  Your
• 19:28
  body
• 19:29
  because
• 19:30
  we
• 19:30
  used
• 19:30
  to
• 19:30
  live
• 19:30
  that
• 19:30
  way.
• 19:31
  Oh
• 19:32
  my
• 19:32
  gosh.
• 19:32
  I
• 19:33
  mean,
• 19:33
  you
• 19:33
  just
• 19:33
  think
• 19:33
  about,
• 19:33
  we
• 19:34
  were
• 19:34
  talking
• 19:34
  about
• 19:34
  triggers
• 19:35
  the
• 19:35
  other
• 19:35
  day
• 19:35
  and
• 19:35
  you
• 19:36
  know,
• 19:36
  triggers
• 19:36
  can't
• 19:36
  be
• 19:37
  avoided.
• 19:37
  Like
• 19:37
  there.
• 19:38
  But
• 19:38
  you
• 19:38
  can,
• 19:40
  you
• 19:40
  can.
• 19:40
  Things
• 19:41
  happen,
• 19:41
  you
• 19:41
  know,
• 19:42
  things
• 19:42
  get
• 19:42
  scary.
• 19:43
  There
• 19:43
  are
• 19:43
  real
• 19:44
  threats
• 19:44
  in
• 19:44
  life.
• 19:45
  So
• 19:45
  you're
• 19:45
  not,
• 19:46
  you
• 19:46
  can't
• 19:46
  shut
• 19:46
  them
• 19:47
  off
• 19:47
  because
• 19:47
  you
• 19:47
  do
• 19:48
  need
• 19:48
  them.
• 19:48
  It's
• 19:48
  a
• 19:48
  protective
• 19:49
  thing.
• 19:50
  But
• 19:50
  you
• 19:50
  know,
• 19:50
  little
• 19:51
  things
• 19:51
  like
• 19:51
  I
• 19:51
  can
• 19:52
  remember,
• 19:52
  we,
• 19:52
  I
• 19:52
  think
• 19:52
  we
• 19:53
  were
• 19:53
  just
• 19:53
  talking
• 19:53
  about
• 19:53
  it.
• 19:54
  Like
• 19:54
  the
• 19:54
  key
• 19:55
  in
• 19:55
  the
• 19:55
  doorknob
• 19:57
  was
• 19:57
  a
• 19:57
  huge
• 19:57
  one
• 19:58
  for
• 19:58
  me.
• 19:58
  I
• 19:59
  used
• 19:59
  to,
• 19:59
  I
• 19:59
  could
• 20:00
  analyze
• 20:00
  anybody's
• 20:01
  key
• 20:01
  in
• 20:01
  a
• 20:01
  doorknob
• 20:02
  and
• 20:02
  I
• 20:02
  could
• 20:02
  go,
• 20:02
  okay,
• 20:02
  it's
• 20:03
  gonna
• 20:03
  be
• 20:03
  a
• 20:03
  good
• 20:03
  day
• 20:03
  or
• 20:03
  a
• 20:03
  bad
• 20:04
  day,
• 20:04
  depending
• 20:04
  on
• 20:04
  how
• 20:04
  long
• 20:05
  it
• 20:05
  took
• 20:05
  to
• 20:05
  get
• 20:05
  the
• 20:05
  key
• 20:06
  in
• 20:06
  and
• 20:06
  turn
• 20:06
  the
• 20:06
  doorknob.
• 20:07
  Well,
• 20:07
  I
• 20:08
  was
• 20:08
  probably
• 20:08
  still
• 20:08
  thinking
• 20:09
  30
• 20:09
  some
• 20:09
  years
• 20:09
  old
• 20:10
  and
• 20:11
  I
• 20:11
  mean
• 20:11
  my
• 20:11
  husband
• 20:12
  would
• 20:12
  come
• 20:12
  home
• 20:12
  and
• 20:12
  the
• 20:13
  key
• 20:13
  in
• 20:13
  the
• 20:13
  doorknob,
• 20:13
  if
• 20:14
  it
• 20:14
  slipped
• 20:14
  or
• 20:15
  something,
• 20:15
  it's
• 20:16
  like
• 20:16
  I
• 20:16
  would
• 20:16
  tent
• 20:17
  so
• 20:17
  bad.
• 20:18
  Yeah.
• 20:19
  And
• 20:20
  what
• 20:20
  was
• 20:20
  that
• 20:20
  really
• 20:20
  doing?
• 20:21
  It
• 20:21
  was
• 20:21
  throwing
• 20:21
  me
• 20:21
  back
• 20:21
  to
• 20:22
  being
• 20:22
  a
• 20:22
  five
• 20:22
  year
• 20:22
  old
• 20:23
  knowing
• 20:23
  that
• 20:23
  mom
• 20:24
  was
• 20:24
  coming
• 20:24
  in
• 20:24
  drunk.
• 20:25
  Like,
• 20:25
  and
• 20:26
  so
• 20:27
  it
• 20:27
  was,
• 20:28
  it
• 20:28
  was
• 20:28
  a
• 20:29
  trigger.
• 20:29
  But
• 20:29
  I
• 20:29
  had
• 20:29
  to.
• 20:30
  And
• 20:30
  like
• 20:30
  you
• 20:30
  said
• 20:31
  I
• 20:31
  would
• 20:31
  just
• 20:31
  now,
• 20:31
  it's
• 20:32
  like
• 20:32
  went
• 20:32
  well
• 20:32
  in
• 20:32
  my
• 20:33
  30s
• 20:33
  as
• 20:33
  I
• 20:33
  was
• 20:33
  learning,
• 20:34
  I
• 20:34
  would
• 20:34
  just
• 20:34
  take
• 20:34
  a
• 20:34
  deep
• 20:34
  breath
• 20:35
  and
• 20:35
  I
• 20:35
  would
• 20:35
  be
• 20:35
  like,
• 20:35
  okay,
• 20:36
  what
• 20:37
  do
• 20:37
  I
• 20:37
  care?
• 20:38
  I'm.
• 20:38
  I'm
• 20:38
  fine.
• 20:39
  I
• 20:39
  can
• 20:39
  take
• 20:39
  care
• 20:39
  of
• 20:39
  myself.
• 20:40
  It's.
• 20:40
  I'm
• 20:41
  safe.
• 20:41
  And
• 20:41
  it's
• 20:41
  repeating
• 20:42
  to
• 20:42
  yourself,
• 20:43
  you're
• 20:43
  safe.
• 20:44
  Yeah.
• 20:44
  And
• 20:44
  that's
• 20:44
  all
• 20:45
  I
• 20:45
  do
• 20:45
  that
• 20:46
  every
• 20:46
  time
• 20:46
  I
• 20:47
  check
• 20:47
  in
• 20:47
  with
• 20:47
  my
• 20:47
  nervous
• 20:48
  system.
• 20:48
  And
• 20:48
  if
• 20:48
  I
• 20:48
  am
• 20:48
  at
• 20:49
  like
• 20:49
  an
• 20:49
  elevated
• 20:50
  level
• 20:50
  and
• 20:50
  need
• 20:50
  to
• 20:50
  regulate,
• 20:51
  that's
• 20:51
  like
• 20:51
  the
• 20:51
  first
• 20:52
  thing
• 20:52
  I
• 20:52
  tell
• 20:52
  myself.
• 20:53
  Like,
• 20:53
  I
• 20:53
  am
• 20:53
  safe.
• 20:54
  This
• 20:54
  is
• 20:54
  not
• 20:54
  a
• 20:54
  real
• 20:55
  threat.
• 20:56
  Like
• 20:56
  nervous
• 20:57
  system
• 20:57
  regulation
• 20:58
  should
• 20:58
  be
• 20:58
  as
• 20:59
  part
• 20:59
  of
• 20:59
  your
• 20:59
  daily
• 21:00
  hygiene
• 21:00
  as
• 21:00
  like
• 21:01
  brushing
• 21:01
  your
• 21:01
  teeth
• 21:02
  or
• 21:02
  something
• 21:03
  that
• 21:03
  you
• 21:03
  eating
• 21:04
  or
• 21:04
  something
• 21:05
  very
• 21:05
  basic
• 21:05
  that
• 21:05
  you
• 21:05
  do
• 21:06
  in
• 21:06
  your
• 21:06
  day
• 21:06
  to
• 21:06
  day
• 21:06
  life.
• 21:06
  Because
• 21:07
  like
• 21:07
  to
• 21:07
  your
• 21:07
  point,
• 21:08
  like
• 21:09
  you
• 21:09
  don't
• 21:09
  want
• 21:09
  to
• 21:09
  carry
• 21:10
  that
• 21:10
  through
• 21:10
  every
• 21:10
  single
• 21:11
  thing
• 21:11
  in
• 21:11
  your
• 21:11
  day.
• 21:12
  Yeah.
• 21:13
  And,
• 21:13
  and
• 21:14
  if
• 21:14
  you
• 21:14
  can
• 21:14
  get
• 21:14
  your
• 21:15
  baseline
• 21:15
  down
• 21:15
  to
• 21:16
  a
• 21:16
  2,
• 21:16
  even
• 21:16
  if
• 21:17
  it's
• 21:17
  just
• 21:17
  waking
• 21:17
  up
• 21:17
  in
• 21:18
  the
• 21:18
  morning
• 21:18
  and
• 21:18
  doing
• 21:19
  whatever,
• 21:19
  your
• 21:19
  practice
• 21:20
  is
• 21:20
  really
• 21:20
  the
• 21:21
  nervous
• 21:21
  system.
• 21:22
  You
• 21:23
  don't
• 21:23
  have
• 21:23
  to
• 21:23
  wake
• 21:23
  up
• 21:23
  in
• 21:23
  the
• 21:23
  morning
• 21:24
  and
• 21:24
  be
• 21:24
  Like,
• 21:24
  I'm
• 21:24
  not
• 21:24
  going
• 21:24
  to
• 21:24
  stress
• 21:25
  about
• 21:25
  this.
• 21:25
  I'm
• 21:25
  not
• 21:25
  going
• 21:25
  to
• 21:25
  stress
• 21:25
  about.
• 21:26
  Because
• 21:26
  literally
• 21:26
  all
• 21:26
  that
• 21:26
  does
• 21:27
  is
• 21:27
  make
• 21:27
  you
• 21:27
  stress
• 21:27
  more.
• 21:28
  But
• 21:28
  if
• 21:28
  you,
• 21:29
  but
• 21:29
  if,
• 21:29
  you
• 21:29
  know,
• 21:30
  if
• 21:30
  you
• 21:30
  wake
• 21:30
  up
• 21:30
  and
• 21:31
  say,
• 21:31
  today's
• 21:31
  going
• 21:32
  to
• 21:32
  be
• 21:32
  amazing
• 21:32
  day,
• 21:32
  and
• 21:33
  I'm
• 21:33
  just
• 21:33
  thank
• 21:34
  that
• 21:35
  everything
• 21:36
  at
• 21:36
  work
• 21:36
  is
• 21:36
  going
• 21:36
  to
• 21:36
  be
• 21:37
  good
• 21:37
  and,
• 21:37
  and
• 21:37
  you
• 21:37
  kind
• 21:38
  of
• 21:38
  set
• 21:38
  the
• 21:38
  tone
• 21:39
  that
• 21:39
  way,
• 21:39
  that
• 21:39
  even
• 21:40
  just
• 21:40
  those
• 21:40
  small
• 21:41
  things
• 21:41
  alone,
• 21:41
  a
• 21:42
  few
• 21:42
  minutes
• 21:42
  of
• 21:42
  deep
• 21:43
  breathing,
• 21:45
  anything
• 21:46
  but
• 21:47
  it,
• 21:47
  it
• 21:47
  can,
• 21:48
  like
• 21:48
  I
• 21:48
  said,
• 21:48
  if
• 21:48
  you
• 21:48
  can
• 21:48
  lower
• 21:49
  it
• 21:49
  to
• 21:49
  a
• 21:49
  two
• 21:49
  or
• 21:50
  three,
• 21:50
  then
• 21:50
  when
• 21:50
  those
• 21:50
  things
• 21:51
  come
• 21:51
  flying
• 21:51
  at
• 21:52
  you,
• 21:52
  you
• 21:52
  have
• 21:52
  the
• 21:53
  tools
• 21:53
  to
• 21:54
  kind
• 21:54
  of
• 21:54
  re.
• 21:55
  Regulate
• 21:55
  quickly.
• 21:56
  And
• 21:57
  that
• 21:57
  is,
• 21:58
  for
• 21:58
  me,
• 21:59
  that
• 21:59
  is
• 21:59
  the
• 21:59
  true
• 22:00
  measure
• 22:00
  of
• 22:01
  growth
• 22:01
  and
• 22:01
  healing
• 22:02
  because
• 22:03
  you're
• 22:03
  always
• 22:03
  going
• 22:03
  to
• 22:04
  respond
• 22:04
  to
• 22:05
  a
• 22:05
  trigger.
• 22:05
  But
• 22:06
  it's
• 22:06
  like,
• 22:07
  well,
• 22:07
  did
• 22:07
  I,
• 22:08
  you
• 22:09
  know,
• 22:09
  blow
• 22:09
  this
• 22:09
  out
• 22:10
  of
• 22:10
  proportion
• 22:10
  or
• 22:10
  whatever?
• 22:11
  Or
• 22:11
  was
• 22:11
  I
• 22:11
  able
• 22:11
  to
• 22:12
  think
• 22:12
  logically
• 22:12
  and
• 22:13
  regulate
• 22:13
  myself
• 22:14
  in
• 22:14
  the
• 22:14
  moment?
• 22:15
  Right.
• 22:15
  And
• 22:15
  that's
• 22:16
  really
• 22:16
  how
• 22:16
  the
• 22:16
  nervous
• 22:17
  system
• 22:17
  supposed
• 22:18
  to
• 22:18
  work.
• 22:18
  You're
• 22:18
  supposed
• 22:18
  to
• 22:19
  get
• 22:19
  stressed
• 22:20
  for
• 22:20
  a
• 22:20
  second,
• 22:20
  shoot
• 22:20
  up
• 22:20
  your
• 22:21
  cortisol,
• 22:21
  drop
• 22:21
  it
• 22:22
  back
• 22:22
  down,
• 22:22
  be
• 22:22
  able
• 22:23
  to
• 22:23
  be
• 22:23
  like,
• 22:23
  oh,
• 22:23
  okay,
• 22:23
  that
• 22:24
  was
• 22:24
  cool.
• 22:24
  I
• 22:24
  got
• 22:24
  through
• 22:25
  with
• 22:25
  that,
• 22:26
  you
• 22:26
  know,
• 22:26
  and
• 22:26
  there's
• 22:26
  so
• 22:27
  many
• 22:27
  different.
• 22:27
  And
• 22:27
  I
• 22:27
  love,
• 22:28
  I
• 22:28
  love
• 22:28
  the
• 22:28
  whole
• 22:28
  nervous
• 22:29
  system
• 22:29
  regulation
• 22:30
  process.
• 22:30
  I
• 22:31
  mean,
• 22:31
  I
• 22:31
  just
• 22:31
  think
• 22:31
  it's
• 22:31
  fun.
• 22:32
  I
• 22:32
  think
• 22:32
  it's
• 22:32
  fun
• 22:32
  for
• 22:32
  people
• 22:33
  to
• 22:33
  figure
• 22:33
  out
• 22:33
  what
• 22:34
  works
• 22:34
  for
• 22:34
  them.
• 22:35
  Some
• 22:35
  people,
• 22:37
  big
• 22:37
  deep
• 22:37
  breaths,
• 22:38
  you
• 22:39
  know,
• 22:39
  some
• 22:39
  people,
• 22:40
  if
• 22:40
  they're
• 22:40
  really
• 22:41
  in
• 22:41
  a
• 22:41
  triggered
• 22:41
  spot
• 22:42
  and
• 22:42
  I,
• 22:42
  you
• 22:42
  know,
• 22:43
  I.
• 22:44
  You
• 22:44
  can
• 22:44
  hear
• 22:44
  these
• 22:45
  things
• 22:45
  and
• 22:45
  use
• 22:45
  all
• 22:45
  these
• 22:46
  things.
• 22:46
  But
• 22:46
  if
• 22:46
  you're
• 22:46
  in
• 22:47
  a
• 22:47
  very
• 22:47
  anxious
• 22:48
  state,
• 22:48
  what
• 22:48
  does
• 22:49
  it
• 22:49
  feel
• 22:49
  like
• 22:49
  to
• 22:49
  you?
• 22:49
  It
• 22:50
  feels
• 22:50
  like
• 22:50
  you
• 22:50
  can't
• 22:50
  breathe,
• 22:51
  right?
• 22:51
  Yeah.
• 22:52
  So
• 22:52
  the
• 22:52
  last
• 22:53
  thing
• 22:53
  you
• 22:53
  want
• 22:53
  to
• 22:53
  do
• 22:53
  is
• 22:54
  hold
• 22:54
  your
• 22:54
  breath.
• 22:55
  Just
• 22:55
  take
• 22:55
  a
• 22:55
  big
• 22:55
  deep
• 22:56
  breath,
• 22:57
  like
• 22:57
  so,
• 22:57
  you
• 22:58
  know,
• 22:58
  so
• 22:58
  it's
• 22:58
  like
• 22:59
  it's
• 22:59
  knowing
• 22:59
  your
• 23:00
  own
• 23:00
  body
• 23:00
  too,
• 23:01
  I
• 23:01
  think.
• 23:01
  And
• 23:02
  I,
• 23:02
  and
• 23:02
  I
• 23:02
  think
• 23:02
  that's
• 23:03
  what.
• 23:03
  Also
• 23:03
  working
• 23:04
  with
• 23:04
  a
• 23:04
  coach,
• 23:04
  like,
• 23:05
  I
• 23:05
  had
• 23:05
  a
• 23:05
  girl
• 23:05
  that
• 23:05
  was
• 23:06
  having
• 23:06
  severe
• 23:07
  anxiety
• 23:07
  attacks
• 23:08
  and
• 23:08
  I
• 23:09
  was
• 23:09
  like,
• 23:09
  well,
• 23:09
  when
• 23:09
  you're
• 23:09
  having
• 23:09
  them,
• 23:10
  like,
• 23:10
  what.
• 23:10
  What's
• 23:11
  your
• 23:11
  first
• 23:11
  process?
• 23:12
  She.
• 23:12
  And
• 23:12
  she
• 23:13
  said,
• 23:13
  well,
• 23:13
  I
• 23:13
  watched
• 23:13
  a
• 23:13
  YouTube
• 23:14
  video
• 23:14
  and
• 23:14
  I
• 23:15
  took
• 23:15
  in
• 23:15
  a
• 23:15
  huge
• 23:16
  deep
• 23:16
  breath
• 23:16
  and
• 23:16
  held
• 23:17
  it.
• 23:17
  And
• 23:17
  I
• 23:18
  said,
• 23:18
  when
• 23:18
  you
• 23:18
  were
• 23:18
  having
• 23:18
  that
• 23:19
  anxiety
• 23:19
  attack,
• 23:19
  how
• 23:20
  did
• 23:20
  you
• 23:20
  feel
• 23:20
  before
• 23:20
  that?
• 23:21
  She
• 23:21
  said,
• 23:21
  I
• 23:21
  was,
• 23:21
  I
• 23:22
  felt
• 23:22
  like
• 23:22
  I
• 23:22
  was
• 23:22
  drowning,
• 23:23
  which
• 23:24
  meant
• 23:24
  you
• 23:24
  couldn't
• 23:24
  breathe.
• 23:25
  She's
• 23:26
  like,
• 23:26
  yeah,
• 23:27
  then
• 23:27
  let's
• 23:28
  not
• 23:28
  start
• 23:28
  with
• 23:30
  taking
• 23:30
  a
• 23:30
  big
• 23:30
  deep
• 23:30
  breath
• 23:31
  and
• 23:31
  holding
• 23:31
  it
• 23:32
  in
• 23:32
  and
• 23:32
  closing
• 23:32
  your
• 23:33
  eyes.
• 23:33
  How
• 23:33
  about
• 23:33
  two
• 23:34
  quick
• 23:34
  deep
• 23:35
  breaths
• 23:35
  in,
• 23:35
  like,
• 23:37
  you
• 23:37
  know,
• 23:37
  and
• 23:38
  get
• 23:38
  it
• 23:38
  out
• 23:39
  like
• 23:39
  re.
• 23:40
  And
• 23:40
  then
• 23:40
  just
• 23:40
  Tell
• 23:40
  yourself,
• 23:41
  I'm
• 23:41
  fine.
• 23:41
  And
• 23:42
  we
• 23:42
  walk
• 23:42
  through
• 23:42
  the
• 23:42
  whole
• 23:42
  process.
• 23:43
  But
• 23:44
  it
• 23:44
  is
• 23:44
  interesting
• 23:45
  how
• 23:45
  it's
• 23:46
  a
• 23:46
  one.
• 23:47
  Every,
• 23:48
  every
• 23:48
  situation,
• 23:49
  every
• 23:49
  moment
• 23:50
  is
• 23:50
  different.
• 23:51
  So
• 23:52
  yeah,
• 23:52
  that's
• 23:52
  interesting
• 23:53
  because
• 23:53
  I
• 23:53
  never
• 23:54
  would
• 23:54
  have
• 23:54
  guessed
• 23:55
  that
• 23:55
  holding
• 23:55
  your
• 23:56
  breath
• 23:56
  would
• 23:56
  be
• 23:56
  helpful.
• 23:57
  But
• 23:57
  maybe
• 23:57
  for
• 23:57
  some
• 23:57
  people
• 23:58
  it
• 23:58
  is
• 23:58
  to
• 23:58
  take
• 23:59
  that
• 23:59
  deep
• 23:59
  breath
• 23:59
  and
• 23:59
  hold
• 24:00
  it
• 24:01
  well.
• 24:01
  Or
• 24:01
  even
• 24:02
  different
• 24:02
  because,
• 24:02
  yeah,
• 24:03
  I
• 24:03
  tell
• 24:03
  my
• 24:03
  clients,
• 24:04
  like,
• 24:04
  I'm
• 24:04
  not
• 24:04
  going
• 24:05
  to
• 24:05
  like
• 24:05
  recommend
• 24:06
  something
• 24:06
  to
• 24:06
  you
• 24:07
  because
• 24:07
  it
• 24:07
  may
• 24:07
  not
• 24:07
  be
• 24:07
  your
• 24:08
  thing.
• 24:08
  So
• 24:08
  you're
• 24:08
  going
• 24:08
  to
• 24:08
  have
• 24:09
  to
• 24:09
  experiment
• 24:09
  with
• 24:09
  different
• 24:10
  things.
• 24:11
  Oh,
• 24:11
  absolutely.
• 24:11
  And
• 24:12
  you
• 24:12
  know,
• 24:12
  but
• 24:12
  if
• 24:13
  you
• 24:13
  look
• 24:13
  at
• 24:13
  like,
• 24:14
  and
• 24:14
  it
• 24:14
  might
• 24:14
  not
• 24:15
  even
• 24:15
  be,
• 24:16
  I
• 24:16
  guess
• 24:16
  that's
• 24:16
  the
• 24:16
  thing.
• 24:17
  I
• 24:17
  think
• 24:17
  it
• 24:17
  has
• 24:17
  to
• 24:17
  be.
• 24:18
  It's
• 24:18
  so
• 24:18
  individualized
• 24:19
  because
• 24:19
  if
• 24:20
  you
• 24:20
  are
• 24:20
  in
• 24:20
  the
• 24:20
  middle
• 24:21
  when
• 24:21
  they're
• 24:21
  talking
• 24:21
  about,
• 24:22
  you
• 24:22
  know,
• 24:22
  if
• 24:22
  you
• 24:22
  are
• 24:23
  stressed
• 24:24
  and
• 24:24
  you
• 24:24
  take
• 24:24
  in
• 24:25
  a
• 24:25
  deep
• 24:25
  breath
• 24:25
  and
• 24:25
  hold
• 24:26
  it
• 24:26
  and
• 24:26
  then
• 24:26
  like
• 24:26
  there's
• 24:27
  the
• 24:27
  box
• 24:27
  breathing,
• 24:28
  you
• 24:28
  know,
• 24:28
  breathe
• 24:28
  in.
• 24:29
  Hold
• 24:29
  for,
• 24:29
  breathe
• 24:30
  in
• 24:30
  for
• 24:30
  four,
• 24:30
  hold
• 24:31
  for
• 24:31
  four,
• 24:31
  out
• 24:31
  for
• 24:32
  four,
• 24:32
  hold
• 24:32
  for
• 24:32
  four.
• 24:33
  They
• 24:34
  don't
• 24:34
  say,
• 24:34
  if
• 24:34
  you're
• 24:35
  in
• 24:35
  the
• 24:35
  middle
• 24:35
  of
• 24:36
  a
• 24:36
  panic
• 24:36
  attack,
• 24:36
  don't
• 24:37
  do
• 24:37
  that.
• 24:37
  Like,
• 24:37
  it's,
• 24:38
  you
• 24:38
  know,
• 24:38
  it's
• 24:38
  not
• 24:39
  specified.
• 24:40
  That's
• 24:41
  true
• 24:41
  too,
• 24:41
  because
• 24:42
  that
• 24:42
  video
• 24:43
  probably
• 24:43
  didn't
• 24:43
  specify.
• 24:44
  Also,
• 24:44
  I'm
• 24:45
  the
• 24:45
  kind
• 24:45
  of
• 24:45
  person,
• 24:46
  because
• 24:46
  talking
• 24:46
  about
• 24:47
  individualization,
• 24:48
  even
• 24:49
  just
• 24:49
  in
• 24:49
  general,
• 24:49
  I
• 24:50
  don't
• 24:50
  like
• 24:50
  the
• 24:50
  box
• 24:51
  breathing.
• 24:51
  So
• 24:51
  like,
• 24:52
  so
• 24:53
  that's
• 24:53
  like
• 24:53
  a
• 24:53
  perfect
• 24:54
  example
• 24:54
  of
• 24:55
  not
• 24:55
  everything
• 24:55
  is
• 24:56
  for
• 24:56
  everyone.
• 24:56
  So
• 24:56
  you
• 24:57
  have
• 24:57
  to
• 24:57
  experiment
• 24:57
  for
• 24:58
  what
• 24:58
  feels
• 24:58
  good
• 24:58
  to
• 24:58
  you.
• 24:59
  Yep.
• 25:00
  I
• 25:00
  was
• 25:01
  actually
• 25:01
  at
• 25:01
  a,
• 25:03
  it
• 25:03
  was
• 25:03
  an
• 25:03
  event
• 25:03
  I
• 25:03
  was
• 25:04
  hosting
• 25:04
  and
• 25:05
  the
• 25:05
  gentleman
• 25:06
  got
• 25:06
  up
• 25:06
  and
• 25:06
  he
• 25:06
  was
• 25:07
  doing
• 25:07
  a
• 25:08
  talk
• 25:08
  about.
• 25:10
  He
• 25:10
  was,
• 25:11
  he's
• 25:11
  a
• 25:11
  surgeon
• 25:12
  and
• 25:12
  he
• 25:12
  does
• 25:13
  breast
• 25:13
  cancer.
• 25:14
  And
• 25:15
  he
• 25:15
  was
• 25:15
  doing
• 25:15
  it
• 25:16
  like
• 25:16
  this
• 25:16
  video
• 25:17
  from
• 25:17
  the
• 25:17
  eyes
• 25:18
  of
• 25:18
  the
• 25:18
  surgeon.
• 25:19
  And
• 25:20
  it
• 25:20
  was
• 25:20
  all
• 25:20
  these
• 25:20
  people,
• 25:21
  like
• 25:21
  hugging
• 25:21
  and
• 25:21
  it
• 25:22
  was
• 25:22
  people
• 25:22
  like,
• 25:22
  you
• 25:23
  know,
• 25:23
  he
• 25:23
  was
• 25:23
  showing
• 25:24
  the
• 25:24
  process
• 25:24
  and
• 25:24
  I
• 25:25
  totally
• 25:25
  understood
• 25:25
  what
• 25:26
  he
• 25:26
  was
• 25:26
  trying
• 25:26
  to
• 25:26
  do,
• 25:27
  but
• 25:27
  there
• 25:27
  was
• 25:28
  no,
• 25:28
  like
• 25:28
  ringing
• 25:29
  the
• 25:29
  bell
• 25:29
  and
• 25:30
  like
• 25:30
  celebrate.
• 25:30
  There
• 25:31
  was
• 25:31
  just
• 25:31
  this
• 25:32
  deep,
• 25:33
  like
• 25:33
  two
• 25:33
  people
• 25:33
  that
• 25:34
  had
• 25:34
  had
• 25:34
  breast
• 25:34
  cancer.
• 25:35
  Well,
• 25:35
  one
• 25:35
  had
• 25:35
  had
• 25:36
  breast
• 25:36
  cancer
• 25:36
  and
• 25:36
  one
• 25:37
  also
• 25:37
  had
• 25:37
  a
• 25:37
  mother
• 25:38
  that
• 25:38
  was
• 25:38
  going
• 25:38
  through
• 25:38
  breast
• 25:39
  cancer.
• 25:39
  They
• 25:39
  got
• 25:39
  up
• 25:39
  and
• 25:39
  left
• 25:40
  the
• 25:40
  room.
• 25:40
  And
• 25:41
  it
• 25:41
  was
• 25:41
  so
• 25:41
  funny
• 25:42
  because
• 25:42
  afterwards
• 25:43
  it's
• 25:43
  like,
• 25:43
  I
• 25:44
  mean,
• 25:44
  I'm
• 25:44
  all
• 25:44
  about
• 25:44
  like
• 25:45
  the
• 25:45
  energy
• 25:45
  in
• 25:45
  a
• 25:45
  room,
• 25:46
  right?
• 25:46
  So
• 25:46
  it's
• 25:46
  like
• 25:47
  my
• 25:47
  hair
• 25:47
  was
• 25:47
  standing
• 25:48
  up
• 25:48
  and
• 25:49
  it
• 25:49
  was
• 25:49
  so
• 25:50
  funny.
• 25:50
  And
• 25:50
  I
• 25:50
  just
• 25:50
  got
• 25:50
  up
• 25:51
  there
• 25:51
  and
• 25:51
  I'm
• 25:51
  like,
• 25:51
  okay,
• 25:52
  guys,
• 25:52
  I
• 25:52
  don't
• 25:52
  know
• 25:52
  about
• 25:52
  you,
• 25:53
  but
• 25:53
  I
• 25:53
  need
• 25:53
  to
• 25:53
  shake.
• 25:57
  And
• 25:58
  I
• 25:58
  know
• 25:58
  that.
• 25:59
  And
• 25:59
  this
• 25:59
  guy
• 25:59
  is
• 25:59
  like
• 26:00
  a
• 26:00
  really
• 26:01
  well
• 26:01
  known
• 26:01
  doctor
• 26:02
  around
• 26:02
  here.
• 26:02
  And
• 26:02
  I
• 26:02
  wasn't
• 26:02
  being
• 26:03
  insulting,
• 26:04
  but
• 26:04
  I
• 26:04
  was
• 26:04
  like,
• 26:04
  whoa,
• 26:05
  that
• 26:05
  was
• 26:05
  deep.
• 26:06
  Like,
• 26:06
  my.
• 26:07
  I
• 26:07
  was
• 26:08
  so
• 26:08
  tense.
• 26:08
  And
• 26:08
  I
• 26:09
  could
• 26:09
  see
• 26:09
  everybody's
• 26:10
  neck
• 26:10
  was
• 26:10
  up
• 26:10
  and
• 26:11
  shoulders
• 26:11
  were
• 26:11
  raised.
• 26:12
  So
• 26:12
  it's
• 26:13
  like,
• 26:13
  I
• 26:13
  could.
• 26:13
  You
• 26:14
  know.
• 26:14
  So
• 26:14
  some
• 26:14
  people
• 26:15
  might
• 26:15
  have
• 26:15
  said,
• 26:15
  okay,
• 26:16
  let's
• 26:16
  all
• 26:16
  take
• 26:16
  a
• 26:16
  deep
• 26:17
  breath,
• 26:18
  right?
• 26:18
  Not
• 26:18
  me.
• 26:19
  I
• 26:19
  was
• 26:19
  like,
• 26:19
  I
• 26:19
  gotta
• 26:19
  shake
• 26:20
  that
• 26:20
  shit
• 26:20
  out.
• 26:24
  And
• 26:24
  it
• 26:24
  was
• 26:24
  so
• 26:24
  funny.
• 26:25
  And
• 26:25
  one
• 26:25
  of
• 26:25
  the
• 26:25
  girls
• 26:25
  came
• 26:26
  up
• 26:26
  to
• 26:26
  me
• 26:26
  and
• 26:26
  she's
• 26:26
  like,
• 26:26
  thank
• 26:27
  you
• 26:27
  so
• 26:27
  much.
• 26:27
  She's
• 26:27
  like,
• 26:28
  I.
• 26:28
  We
• 26:28
  needed
• 26:28
  that
• 26:28
  energy
• 26:29
  in
• 26:29
  the
• 26:29
  room
• 26:29
  right
• 26:29
  then
• 26:30
  and
• 26:30
  there.
• 26:30
  Like,
• 26:30
  some
• 26:30
  of
• 26:31
  us
• 26:31
  really
• 26:31
  just,
• 26:31
  you
• 26:32
  know.
• 26:32
  And
• 26:32
  so
• 26:32
  I,
• 26:33
  like,
• 26:33
  we
• 26:33
  all
• 26:33
  shook.
• 26:34
  There
• 26:34
  was
• 26:34
  like
• 26:34
  maybe
• 26:34
  40
• 26:35
  of
• 26:35
  us,
• 26:35
  50
• 26:35
  of
• 26:35
  us
• 26:35
  in
• 26:36
  the
• 26:36
  room.
• 26:36
  It
• 26:36
  was
• 26:36
  just
• 26:36
  kind
• 26:36
  of
• 26:37
  funny.
• 26:37
  But
• 26:37
  that,
• 26:37
  again,
• 26:38
  was
• 26:38
  another
• 26:38
  perfect
• 26:39
  example
• 26:39
  where
• 26:41
  saying
• 26:41
  like,
• 26:42
  everybody
• 26:42
  breathe.
• 26:43
  There
• 26:43
  were
• 26:43
  people
• 26:43
  in
• 26:43
  there
• 26:43
  that
• 26:43
  weren't
• 26:44
  breathing.
• 26:44
  Like,
• 26:44
  literally,
• 26:45
  because
• 26:45
  it
• 26:45
  was
• 26:46
  so,
• 26:46
  like,
• 26:47
  emotional,
• 26:48
  you
• 26:48
  know?
• 26:48
  Is
• 26:49
  this
• 26:49
  crazy?
• 26:49
  It
• 26:50
  was
• 26:50
  crazy.
• 26:50
  But
• 26:50
  we
• 26:51
  need
• 26:51
  to
• 26:51
  normalize
• 26:51
  that.
• 26:51
  I
• 26:52
  like
• 26:52
  how
• 26:52
  you
• 26:52
  were
• 26:52
  just,
• 26:53
  like,
• 26:54
  you
• 26:54
  could
• 26:54
  feel
• 26:54
  the
• 26:55
  tension
• 26:55
  in
• 26:55
  the
• 26:55
  air.
• 26:55
  So
• 26:56
  you're
• 26:56
  like,
• 26:56
  I
• 26:56
  need
• 26:56
  to
• 26:56
  cut
• 26:57
  through
• 26:57
  this
• 26:57
  immediately.
• 26:58
  Oh,
• 26:58
  yeah,
• 26:59
  I'm
• 26:59
  all
• 27:00
  about
• 27:00
  just
• 27:00
  some.
• 27:01
  I
• 27:01
  mean.
• 27:01
  And
• 27:01
  sometimes,
• 27:02
  I
• 27:02
  mean,
• 27:02
  really
• 27:02
  think
• 27:03
  about
• 27:03
  it.
• 27:03
  Like
• 27:03
  when
• 27:03
  you
• 27:04
  are
• 27:05
  having
• 27:05
  an
• 27:05
  anxiety
• 27:05
  attack
• 27:06
  and
• 27:06
  they
• 27:06
  say,
• 27:07
  you
• 27:07
  know,
• 27:07
  look
• 27:07
  at
• 27:07
  five
• 27:08
  things.
• 27:08
  What
• 27:08
  are
• 27:08
  five
• 27:08
  things
• 27:09
  you
• 27:09
  can
• 27:09
  see
• 27:09
  and
• 27:09
  four
• 27:09
  things
• 27:10
  you
• 27:10
  can
• 27:10
  hear?
• 27:10
  And,
• 27:10
  you
• 27:11
  know,
• 27:11
  they
• 27:11
  do
• 27:11
  those
• 27:11
  exercises,
• 27:12
  it's
• 27:12
  really
• 27:13
  just
• 27:13
  a
• 27:13
  pattern
• 27:14
  interrupt
• 27:14
  in
• 27:15
  your
• 27:15
  brain,
• 27:15
  right?
• 27:16
  So
• 27:16
  it's
• 27:17
  just
• 27:17
  changing
• 27:17
  the
• 27:18
  state
• 27:18
  you're
• 27:18
  in.
• 27:19
  So
• 27:19
  whether
• 27:19
  you're
• 27:19
  in
• 27:20
  a
• 27:20
  happy
• 27:20
  state
• 27:20
  and,
• 27:21
  you
• 27:21
  know
• 27:21
  you
• 27:21
  need
• 27:21
  to
• 27:21
  bring
• 27:21
  it
• 27:22
  down
• 27:22
  because
• 27:22
  you
• 27:22
  just
• 27:22
  walked
• 27:23
  into
• 27:23
  a
• 27:23
  somber
• 27:23
  room,
• 27:24
  or
• 27:24
  if
• 27:25
  you're
• 27:26
  being
• 27:26
  anxious
• 27:27
  and
• 27:27
  you
• 27:27
  need
• 27:27
  to
• 27:27
  bring
• 27:27
  it
• 27:27
  up,
• 27:28
  like,
• 27:28
  it's
• 27:29
  just
• 27:29
  changing
• 27:29
  states.
• 27:30
  It's
• 27:30
  a
• 27:30
  pattern
• 27:31
  interrupt
• 27:31
  where
• 27:31
  your
• 27:31
  brain
• 27:32
  needs
• 27:32
  to
• 27:32
  think
• 27:32
  something
• 27:33
  different
• 27:33
  and
• 27:34
  focus
• 27:34
  on
• 27:34
  something
• 27:35
  different.
• 27:35
  So.
• 27:36
  But
• 27:37
  yeah,
• 27:37
  it
• 27:37
  was.
• 27:37
  That
• 27:37
  was
• 27:38
  kind
• 27:38
  of
• 27:38
  funny
• 27:38
  because
• 27:38
  I
• 27:38
  was
• 27:38
  like,
• 27:39
  I.
• 27:39
  I
• 27:40
  don't
• 27:40
  know.
• 27:40
  Like,
• 27:40
  I.
• 27:40
  I
• 27:41
  felt
• 27:41
  like
• 27:41
  every.
• 27:41
  There
• 27:42
  was
• 27:42
  all
• 27:42
  yogi
• 27:42
  masters
• 27:43
  and
• 27:43
  stuff
• 27:43
  in
• 27:43
  there.
• 27:43
  So
• 27:44
  I
• 27:44
  felt
• 27:44
  like
• 27:44
  everybody
• 27:45
  wanted
• 27:45
  me
• 27:45
  to
• 27:45
  be
• 27:45
  like.
• 27:46
  Like,
• 27:46
  I
• 27:46
  don't
• 27:46
  know.
• 27:47
  It
• 27:47
  was
• 27:47
  just
• 27:47
  funny.
• 27:47
  I
• 27:47
  felt
• 27:48
  like
• 27:49
  if
• 27:49
  I
• 27:49
  was
• 27:49
  conforming
• 27:50
  to
• 27:50
  the
• 27:50
  normal
• 27:51
  people,
• 27:51
  which
• 27:51
  is
• 27:51
  what
• 27:52
  most
• 27:52
  people
• 27:52
  do,
• 27:53
  people
• 27:54
  would
• 27:54
  have
• 27:54
  been
• 27:54
  like,
• 27:54
  let's
• 27:54
  all
• 27:55
  take
• 27:55
  a
• 27:55
  deep
• 27:55
  breath.
• 27:55
  And
• 27:56
  I
• 27:56
  was
• 27:56
  like,
• 27:56
  oh,
• 27:56
  no.
• 27:56
  Hell
• 27:57
  no.
• 27:57
  Shake
• 27:58
  that
• 27:58
  out
• 27:58
  of
• 27:58
  your
• 27:59
  body,
• 27:59
  girl,
• 27:59
  because
• 27:59
  you
• 28:00
  got
• 28:00
  some.
• 28:00
  There's
• 28:00
  some
• 28:01
  tension
• 28:01
  in
• 28:01
  the
• 28:01
  air
• 28:01
  right
• 28:02
  now.
• 28:02
  It
• 28:02
  was
• 28:03
  just
• 28:03
  crazy.
• 28:03
  But
• 28:06
  so
• 28:06
  I
• 28:06
  want
• 28:06
  to
• 28:06
  ask
• 28:07
  you
• 28:07
  another
• 28:07
  question,
• 28:08
  because
• 28:09
  we're
• 28:09
  talking
• 28:09
  about
• 28:09
  the
• 28:09
  nervous
• 28:10
  system.
• 28:12
  Why
• 28:13
  do
• 28:13
  you
• 28:13
  think
• 28:14
  that
• 28:14
  women,
• 28:15
  especially,
• 28:15
  like
• 28:16
  these
• 28:16
  overachiever,
• 28:17
  high
• 28:17
  achieving,
• 28:17
  Women
• 28:17
  or
• 28:18
  whatever
• 28:19
  get.
• 28:19
  How
• 28:19
  did
• 28:20
  you
• 28:20
  word
• 28:20
  it?
• 28:20
  It
• 28:20
  was
• 28:20
  a
• 28:20
  great
• 28:21
  question,
• 28:21
  especially
• 28:22
  in
• 28:22
  the
• 28:22
  mother
• 28:22
  relationship,
• 28:24
  shape
• 28:24
  a
• 28:24
  woman's
• 28:25
  nervous
• 28:25
  system
• 28:25
  to
• 28:26
  self
• 28:26
  abandon.
• 28:30
  I
• 28:30
  don't
• 28:30
  know
• 28:30
  if
• 28:30
  that's
• 28:30
  exactly
• 28:31
  how
• 28:31
  you
• 28:31
  worded
• 28:31
  it.
• 28:31
  What
• 28:31
  is
• 28:32
  the
• 28:32
  question?
• 28:32
  Like,
• 28:32
  so
• 28:33
  how
• 28:33
  does
• 28:33
  the,
• 28:34
  how
• 28:34
  does.
• 28:34
  The
• 28:35
  early
• 28:35
  emotional
• 28:35
  neglect,
• 28:37
  especially
• 28:37
  when
• 28:38
  you're
• 28:38
  around
• 28:38
  your
• 28:39
  parent,
• 28:39
  like
• 28:39
  how
• 28:39
  does
• 28:40
  that
• 28:40
  early
• 28:40
  childhood
• 28:41
  dysfunction,
• 28:41
  especially
• 28:42
  around
• 28:42
  women,
• 28:44
  create
• 28:45
  the
• 28:45
  tendency
• 28:46
  to
• 28:46
  self
• 28:46
  abandon
• 28:47
  or
• 28:47
  self,
• 28:48
  I
• 28:48
  mean
• 28:49
  really
• 28:49
  self
• 28:49
  sabotage
• 28:50
  and
• 28:50
  all
• 28:50
  that?
• 28:51
  Yeah,
• 28:51
  I
• 28:52
  mean
• 28:52
  because
• 28:53
  we're
• 28:53
  not
• 28:53
  born
• 28:54
  with
• 28:54
  these
• 28:55
  dysfunctional
• 28:55
  patterns.
• 28:56
  Right?
• 28:56
  Like
• 28:57
  it
• 28:57
  comes
• 28:57
  from
• 28:58
  how
• 28:58
  we.
• 29:00
  And
• 29:00
  also
• 29:00
  as
• 29:01
  children
• 29:01
  it's
• 29:01
  actually
• 29:02
  very
• 29:02
  intelligent
• 29:02
  how
• 29:02
  we
• 29:03
  develop
• 29:03
  them.
• 29:03
  Because
• 29:04
  for
• 29:04
  example,
• 29:04
  as
• 29:04
  a
• 29:05
  child
• 29:05
  my
• 29:06
  mom
• 29:06
  was
• 29:06
  very
• 29:06
  critical.
• 29:07
  She
• 29:08
  wanted
• 29:08
  me
• 29:08
  to
• 29:08
  be
• 29:09
  a
• 29:09
  certain
• 29:09
  way.
• 29:09
  I
• 29:10
  didn't
• 29:10
  feel
• 29:10
  safe
• 29:10
  being
• 29:11
  me.
• 29:12
  So
• 29:12
  it
• 29:12
  was
• 29:13
  actually
• 29:13
  very
• 29:13
  intelligent
• 29:14
  of
• 29:14
  me
• 29:14
  to
• 29:14
  be
• 29:14
  like,
• 29:15
  oh,
• 29:15
  it's
• 29:15
  way
• 29:15
  safer
• 29:16
  for
• 29:16
  me.
• 29:16
  Like
• 29:17
  it
• 29:17
  felt
• 29:17
  safer
• 29:17
  in
• 29:17
  my
• 29:18
  body.
• 29:18
  Like
• 29:18
  I
• 29:18
  wouldn't
• 29:18
  have
• 29:19
  described
• 29:19
  it
• 29:19
  that
• 29:19
  way
• 29:20
  as
• 29:20
  a
• 29:20
  six
• 29:21
  year
• 29:21
  old
• 29:21
  but
• 29:21
  you
• 29:21
  know,
• 29:22
  it
• 29:22
  felt
• 29:22
  safer
• 29:22
  for
• 29:23
  me.
• 29:23
  Like
• 29:23
  I'll
• 29:23
  just
• 29:24
  do
• 29:24
  whatever
• 29:24
  she
• 29:24
  wants
• 29:25
  so
• 29:25
  that
• 29:25
  I'll
• 29:26
  be
• 29:26
  loved
• 29:26
  and
• 29:26
  accepted
• 29:28
  and
• 29:29
  those
• 29:29
  behavior
• 29:29
  patterns
• 29:30
  work
• 29:31
  while
• 29:31
  I'm
• 29:32
  living
• 29:32
  in
• 29:32
  the
• 29:32
  home
• 29:32
  with
• 29:32
  my
• 29:33
  mom
• 29:33
  and
• 29:34
  she's
• 29:34
  in
• 29:34
  charge
• 29:34
  of
• 29:35
  me
• 29:35
  financially,
• 29:36
  et
• 29:36
  cetera.
• 29:37
  But
• 29:37
  the
• 29:37
  problem
• 29:37
  is
• 29:38
  we
• 29:38
  carry
• 29:38
  these
• 29:38
  same
• 29:39
  behaviors
• 29:39
  into
• 29:40
  adulthood
• 29:40
  and
• 29:41
  then
• 29:41
  as
• 29:41
  adults,
• 29:42
  yeah,
• 29:42
  we
• 29:43
  were
• 29:43
  just
• 29:43
  conditioned
• 29:43
  to
• 29:44
  be
• 29:44
  that
• 29:44
  way.
• 29:44
  So
• 29:44
  for
• 29:45
  many,
• 29:45
  many
• 29:45
  years,
• 29:46
  beyond
• 29:47
  being
• 29:47
  a
• 29:47
  child
• 29:47
  and
• 29:48
  teenager,
• 29:48
  I
• 29:49
  was.
• 29:49
  And
• 29:49
  it
• 29:49
  wasn't
• 29:50
  just
• 29:50
  with
• 29:50
  other
• 29:50
  women,
• 29:50
  I
• 29:51
  was
• 29:51
  always
• 29:51
  like
• 29:52
  over
• 29:52
  giving
• 29:52
  to
• 29:52
  things
• 29:53
  outside
• 29:53
  of
• 29:53
  myself
• 29:54
  to
• 29:55
  feel
• 29:55
  that
• 29:55
  love
• 29:55
  and
• 29:55
  approval.
• 29:57
  And
• 29:57
  when
• 29:57
  you
• 29:58
  are
• 29:59
  in
• 29:59
  that
• 29:59
  energy,
• 30:00
  you're
• 30:00
  attracting
• 30:01
  takers
• 30:02
  because.
• 30:02
  And
• 30:03
  this,
• 30:03
  I
• 30:03
  was
• 30:03
  actually
• 30:04
  just
• 30:04
  talking
• 30:04
  to
• 30:04
  a
• 30:04
  client
• 30:04
  the
• 30:05
  other
• 30:05
  day
• 30:05
  because
• 30:06
  think
• 30:06
  about
• 30:06
  it,
• 30:06
  if
• 30:06
  someone's
• 30:07
  standing
• 30:07
  on
• 30:08
  the
• 30:08
  street
• 30:09
  giving
• 30:09
  out
• 30:09
  money,
• 30:10
  like,
• 30:10
  yeah,
• 30:11
  there's
• 30:11
  going
• 30:11
  to
• 30:11
  be
• 30:11
  like
• 30:12
  manipulative,
• 30:13
  creepy
• 30:13
  people
• 30:13
  who
• 30:14
  are
• 30:14
  absolutely
• 30:14
  going
• 30:14
  to
• 30:15
  take
• 30:15
  advantage
• 30:15
  of
• 30:15
  that.
• 30:16
  But
• 30:16
  then
• 30:16
  there's
• 30:17
  people
• 30:17
  like
• 30:17
  us
• 30:17
  who's
• 30:18
  like,
• 30:18
  yeah,
• 30:19
  if
• 30:19
  you're
• 30:19
  giving
• 30:19
  out
• 30:19
  money,
• 30:20
  I'll
• 30:20
  take
• 30:20
  some.
• 30:21
  And
• 30:21
  you
• 30:21
  know
• 30:21
  what
• 30:21
  I
• 30:21
  mean?
• 30:22
  So
• 30:22
  like
• 30:22
  of
• 30:22
  course
• 30:22
  when
• 30:23
  you're
• 30:23
  in
• 30:23
  that
• 30:23
  energy,
• 30:24
  like
• 30:24
  people
• 30:25
  are
• 30:25
  going
• 30:25
  to
• 30:25
  be
• 30:25
  taking
• 30:25
  from
• 30:26
  you.
• 30:26
  So
• 30:26
  you're
• 30:26
  also
• 30:26
  playing
• 30:27
  a
• 30:27
  role
• 30:27
  in
• 30:27
  that.
• 30:28
  So
• 30:28
  that's
• 30:28
  why
• 30:29
  it's
• 30:29
  so
• 30:29
  important
• 30:29
  to
• 30:30
  recognize
• 30:30
  these
• 30:30
  patterns
• 30:31
  and
• 30:31
  start
• 30:31
  to
• 30:31
  change
• 30:32
  them
• 30:32
  because
• 30:32
  number
• 30:32
  one,
• 30:33
  as
• 30:33
  an
• 30:33
  adult,
• 30:34
  you
• 30:34
  absolutely
• 30:35
  have
• 30:35
  that
• 30:35
  autonomy
• 30:36
  to
• 30:36
  start
• 30:36
  changing
• 30:37
  your
• 30:37
  life
• 30:37
  because
• 30:37
  these
• 30:38
  behaviors
• 30:38
  are
• 30:38
  not
• 30:38
  serving
• 30:39
  you.
• 30:39
  And
• 30:40
  it's
• 30:40
  just
• 30:40
  like
• 30:40
  so
• 30:41
  much
• 30:41
  more
• 30:41
  empowering
• 30:42
  to
• 30:42
  live
• 30:42
  in
• 30:42
  this
• 30:42
  place
• 30:42
  of
• 30:43
  having
• 30:43
  high
• 30:44
  standards
• 30:44
  and
• 30:44
  having
• 30:45
  boundaries
• 30:45
  and,
• 30:46
  and
• 30:46
  when
• 30:46
  you
• 30:46
  are
• 30:47
  there
• 30:47
  Then
• 30:47
  you
• 30:48
  attract
• 30:48
  a
• 30:48
  higher
• 30:48
  caliber
• 30:49
  of
• 30:49
  people.
• 30:49
  That's
• 30:50
  not
• 30:50
  to
• 30:50
  say
• 30:50
  you
• 30:50
  won't
• 30:50
  have
• 30:51
  like
• 30:51
  the,
• 30:52
  you
• 30:52
  know,
• 30:52
  people
• 30:53
  who
• 30:53
  are
• 30:53
  trying
• 30:53
  to
• 30:53
  take
• 30:54
  advantage
• 30:54
  of
• 30:54
  you
• 30:54
  or
• 30:54
  whatever,
• 30:55
  but
• 30:55
  there
• 30:55
  is
• 30:56
  far
• 30:56
  way
• 30:56
  less
• 30:57
  of
• 30:57
  that
• 30:57
  than
• 30:57
  there
• 30:58
  was
• 30:58
  before.
• 30:59
  Exactly.
• 31:00
  And
• 31:00
  I
• 31:00
  guess,
• 31:00
  you
• 31:00
  know,
• 31:01
  in.
• 31:01
  Yes.
• 31:02
  And
• 31:03
  I
• 31:03
  was.
• 31:04
  Yes.
• 31:04
  And
• 31:05
  that
• 31:05
  you
• 31:05
  start
• 31:05
  the
• 31:06
  self
• 31:06
  sabotaging.
• 31:06
  I
• 31:07
  was
• 31:07
  getting.
• 31:07
  I
• 31:07
  was
• 31:07
  kind
• 31:08
  of
• 31:08
  circle
• 31:08
  back
• 31:08
  around.
• 31:09
  That
• 31:09
  goes
• 31:09
  into
• 31:09
  it.
• 31:10
  Yeah,
• 31:10
  yeah.
• 31:10
  There
• 31:10
  is
• 31:11
  so
• 31:11
  much
• 31:11
  that
• 31:11
  goes
• 31:11
  into
• 31:11
  it.
• 31:12
  And
• 31:12
  I
• 31:12
  was
• 31:12
  just
• 31:12
  picturing,
• 31:13
  you
• 31:13
  know,
• 31:13
  the,
• 31:14
  the
• 31:16
  all
• 31:16
  of
• 31:16
  it,
• 31:16
  the
• 31:16
  self
• 31:17
  sabotaging
• 31:17
  and
• 31:18
  the
• 31:18
  abandoning
• 31:19
  yourself.
• 31:19
  And
• 31:20
  it
• 31:20
  goes
• 31:20
  back
• 31:20
  to
• 31:21
  when
• 31:21
  I
• 31:21
  joke
• 31:21
  with
• 31:21
  people
• 31:21
  and
• 31:22
  I'm
• 31:22
  like,
• 31:22
  it
• 31:22
  goes
• 31:22
  back
• 31:22
  to
• 31:23
  the
• 31:23
  not
• 31:23
  enoughs.
• 31:24
  I'm
• 31:24
  not
• 31:24
  smart
• 31:24
  enough,
• 31:24
  I'm
• 31:25
  not
• 31:25
  pretty
• 31:25
  enough,
• 31:25
  I'm
• 31:25
  not
• 31:25
  funny
• 31:26
  enough.
• 31:26
  Which
• 31:26
  goes
• 31:27
  back
• 31:27
  to
• 31:27
  you.
• 31:27
  As
• 31:27
  you
• 31:28
  mentioned
• 31:28
  in
• 31:28
  earlier
• 31:28
  in
• 31:29
  the
• 31:29
  thing,
• 31:29
  it's
• 31:29
  just
• 31:29
  this
• 31:30
  self,
• 31:31
  this
• 31:31
  self
• 31:31
  worth.
• 31:32
  Like
• 31:33
  it's
• 31:33
  not,
• 31:34
  you
• 31:34
  know,
• 31:34
  but
• 31:34
  the
• 31:35
  people
• 31:35
  pleasing.
• 31:36
  And
• 31:36
  that
• 31:36
  would
• 31:37
  be
• 31:37
  your
• 31:37
  fawn.
• 31:38
  You
• 31:38
  have
• 31:38
  the
• 31:39
  flight
• 31:40
  fight,
• 31:41
  freeze
• 31:42
  or
• 31:42
  fawn.
• 31:43
  That
• 31:43
  fawn
• 31:44
  is
• 31:44
  the
• 31:44
  one
• 31:44
  that
• 31:45
  really.
• 31:45
  That's
• 31:45
  the
• 31:45
  tough
• 31:46
  one
• 31:46
  to
• 31:46
  let
• 31:46
  go
• 31:47
  because
• 31:47
  it's
• 31:47
  so
• 31:47
  ingrained
• 31:48
  in
• 31:48
  you,
• 31:48
  whether
• 31:49
  you
• 31:49
  do
• 31:49
  it
• 31:49
  for
• 31:49
  fun,
• 31:50
  safety,
• 31:51
  or
• 31:51
  you
• 31:51
  do
• 31:51
  it
• 31:52
  just
• 31:52
  for
• 31:52
  affection.
• 31:53
  I
• 31:53
  mean,
• 31:54
  we
• 31:54
  do
• 31:54
  it
• 31:54
  for
• 31:54
  a
• 31:54
  million
• 31:54
  different
• 31:55
  reasons,
• 31:55
  for
• 31:55
  connections,
• 31:56
  but
• 31:57
  it
• 31:57
  really,
• 31:58
  it
• 31:58
  does
• 31:58
  serve
• 31:58
  us
• 31:59
  well.
• 31:59
  I
• 31:59
  mean,
• 31:59
  when
• 32:00
  you
• 32:00
  needed
• 32:00
  it,
• 32:00
  it
• 32:01
  served
• 32:01
  us
• 32:01
  really
• 32:01
  well.
• 32:02
  Well,
• 32:03
  even
• 32:03
  as
• 32:03
  adults,
• 32:04
  you
• 32:05
  do
• 32:05
  kind
• 32:05
  of
• 32:05
  get
• 32:05
  intermittent
• 32:06
  rewards
• 32:07
  from
• 32:07
  it,
• 32:07
  right?
• 32:08
  Because
• 32:09
  when
• 32:09
  you're
• 32:10
  chasing
• 32:11
  things,
• 32:11
  there
• 32:12
  are
• 32:12
  people
• 32:12
  who
• 32:12
  are
• 32:13
  repelled
• 32:13
  by
• 32:13
  the
• 32:13
  energy,
• 32:14
  but
• 32:15
  you
• 32:15
  also
• 32:15
  get
• 32:16
  people
• 32:16
  who
• 32:16
  are
• 32:16
  not.
• 32:16
  So
• 32:17
  you
• 32:17
  might
• 32:17
  get
• 32:17
  that
• 32:18
  intermittent
• 32:18
  love
• 32:18
  and
• 32:19
  approval
• 32:19
  from,
• 32:20
  from
• 32:20
  chasing.
• 32:21
  So
• 32:21
  you're.
• 32:21
  There's
• 32:22
  somewhere
• 32:22
  in
• 32:22
  your
• 32:22
  mind,
• 32:23
  you're
• 32:23
  like,
• 32:23
  okay,
• 32:23
  it's
• 32:23
  not
• 32:24
  working
• 32:24
  some
• 32:24
  of
• 32:24
  the
• 32:24
  times,
• 32:24
  but
• 32:25
  it
• 32:25
  is
• 32:25
  working
• 32:25
  sometimes.
• 32:26
  So
• 32:26
  I'm
• 32:26
  just
• 32:26
  gonna
• 32:26
  keep
• 32:26
  doing
• 32:27
  it.
• 32:28
  Yeah,
• 32:28
  it's,
• 32:28
  it's.
• 32:29
  It's
• 32:29
  a
• 32:29
  tough
• 32:29
  one.
• 32:30
  And
• 32:30
  then
• 32:30
  it
• 32:30
  goes.
• 32:31
  And
• 32:31
  like
• 32:31
  you
• 32:31
  said,
• 32:31
  when
• 32:32
  you're
• 32:32
  coming
• 32:32
  out
• 32:32
  of
• 32:32
  that,
• 32:33
  I
• 32:33
  mean,
• 32:33
  you
• 32:33
  talk
• 32:34
  about
• 32:34
  standards.
• 32:34
  You
• 32:34
  talk
• 32:35
  about
• 32:35
  when
• 32:35
  I
• 32:35
  was
• 32:35
  20
• 32:36
  years
• 32:36
  old
• 32:36
  coming
• 32:37
  out
• 32:37
  of
• 32:37
  that
• 32:37
  and
• 32:38
  having
• 32:38
  grown
• 32:39
  up
• 32:39
  with
• 32:39
  two
• 32:39
  alcoholic
• 32:40
  parents
• 32:40
  and,
• 32:40
  you
• 32:41
  know,
• 32:41
  being
• 32:41
  pimped
• 32:42
  drug
• 32:42
  dealers
• 32:42
  and
• 32:42
  just
• 32:43
  stupid
• 32:43
  stuff,
• 32:44
  my
• 32:44
  standards
• 32:45
  were
• 32:45
  pretty
• 32:45
  low.
• 32:46
  Yeah,
• 32:47
  that's
• 32:47
  relatable.
• 32:48
  I
• 32:48
  mean,
• 32:48
  I,
• 32:49
  I
• 32:49
  would
• 32:49
  go
• 32:49
  as
• 32:49
  far
• 32:50
  as
• 32:50
  to
• 32:50
  say
• 32:50
  at
• 32:50
  one
• 32:51
  point
• 32:51
  in
• 32:51
  my
• 32:51
  life
• 32:51
  I
• 32:51
  had
• 32:52
  zero
• 32:52
  standards.
• 32:53
  But
• 32:53
  that's
• 32:53
  what
• 32:53
  I'm
• 32:53
  saying.
• 32:54
  Like,
• 32:54
  mine
• 32:54
  are
• 32:54
  really
• 32:55
  low.
• 32:55
  So
• 32:56
  it
• 32:56
  was
• 32:56
  really
• 32:56
  easy
• 32:57
  to
• 32:57
  meet
• 32:57
  or
• 32:58
  exceed
• 32:58
  them.
• 32:59
  And
• 33:01
  you
• 33:01
  know,
• 33:02
  I
• 33:02
  know
• 33:02
  that
• 33:02
  sounds
• 33:03
  horrible,
• 33:03
  that,
• 33:04
  that
• 33:04
  really
• 33:04
  does
• 33:04
  sound
• 33:04
  horrible.
• 33:05
  But
• 33:05
  like
• 33:06
  you
• 33:06
  said,
• 33:06
  like,
• 33:07
  energies
• 33:07
  Attract.
• 33:08
  So
• 33:10
  if
• 33:10
  you
• 33:10
  are,
• 33:10
  if
• 33:11
  you.
• 33:11
  This
• 33:11
  is
• 33:11
  what
• 33:12
  you're
• 33:12
  putting
• 33:12
  out
• 33:12
  and
• 33:12
  this
• 33:13
  is
• 33:13
  what
• 33:13
  I
• 33:13
  need
• 33:13
  and
• 33:13
  this
• 33:14
  is
• 33:14
  my
• 33:14
  standards,
• 33:14
  this
• 33:15
  is
• 33:15
  what
• 33:15
  you're
• 33:15
  going
• 33:15
  to
• 33:15
  attract
• 33:16
  or
• 33:16
  people,
• 33:16
  they're
• 33:16
  going
• 33:16
  to
• 33:17
  meet
• 33:17
  you
• 33:17
  at
• 33:17
  that
• 33:17
  level.
• 33:18
  They're
• 33:18
  going
• 33:18
  to
• 33:18
  meet
• 33:19
  you
• 33:19
  at
• 33:19
  that
• 33:19
  level.
• 33:19
  So
• 33:20
  it's
• 33:20
  so
• 33:20
  vitally
• 33:21
  important.
• 33:21
  And
• 33:21
  I,
• 33:22
  I
• 33:22
  can't
• 33:22
  stress
• 33:23
  it
• 33:23
  enough
• 33:23
  for
• 33:23
  the
• 33:23
  people
• 33:23
  out
• 33:24
  there.
• 33:24
  Listening
• 33:24
  is
• 33:25
  always
• 33:26
  set
• 33:26
  your
• 33:26
  standards
• 33:27
  for
• 33:27
  yourself
• 33:27
  as
• 33:28
  you
• 33:28
  would
• 33:28
  for
• 33:28
  someone
• 33:28
  that
• 33:29
  you
• 33:29
  love.
• 33:30
  Even
• 33:30
  if
• 33:31
  even
• 33:31
  like.
• 33:33
  And
• 33:33
  you
• 33:33
  might
• 33:33
  be
• 33:33
  saying,
• 33:34
  well,
• 33:34
  I
• 33:34
  love
• 33:34
  myself.
• 33:34
  Well,
• 33:36
  we
• 33:36
  do,
• 33:37
  but
• 33:37
  that's
• 33:38
  the
• 33:38
  problem
• 33:38
  is
• 33:39
  subconsciously
• 33:40
  we
• 33:40
  might
• 33:41
  not.
• 33:42
  Yeah.
• 33:42
  And
• 33:42
  so
• 33:42
  it's
• 33:43
  like
• 33:43
  when
• 33:43
  you
• 33:43
  go
• 33:43
  to
• 33:44
  do
• 33:44
  something
• 33:44
  before
• 33:44
  you
• 33:45
  talk
• 33:45
  about
• 33:45
  it
• 33:45
  in
• 33:45
  the
• 33:45
  beginning,
• 33:45
  about
• 33:46
  beating
• 33:46
  yourself
• 33:46
  up
• 33:46
  before
• 33:47
  you
• 33:47
  beat
• 33:47
  yourself
• 33:48
  up,
• 33:49
  just,
• 33:49
  you
• 33:49
  know,
• 33:50
  ask
• 33:50
  yourself,
• 33:50
  if
• 33:50
  my
• 33:51
  daughter
• 33:51
  did
• 33:51
  that,
• 33:51
  would
• 33:51
  I
• 33:52
  be
• 33:52
  angry?
• 33:53
  Would
• 33:53
  I
• 33:53
  call
• 33:53
  her
• 33:54
  stupid?
• 33:54
  No.
• 33:55
  I
• 33:55
  actually
• 33:55
  just
• 33:56
  made
• 33:56
  a
• 33:56
  YouTube
• 33:56
  about
• 33:56
  that
• 33:57
  the
• 33:57
  other
• 33:57
  day
• 33:57
  because
• 33:58
  it's
• 33:58
  about
• 33:58
  the
• 33:58
  critical
• 33:58
  inner
• 33:59
  voice.
• 33:59
  It's
• 33:59
  like,
• 33:59
  would
• 33:59
  you
• 34:00
  talk
• 34:00
  to
• 34:00
  a
• 34:00
  friend
• 34:00
  that
• 34:01
  you
• 34:01
  loved
• 34:01
  and
• 34:01
  respected
• 34:02
  that
• 34:02
  way?
• 34:02
  Yeah.
• 34:03
  I'm
• 34:03
  like,
• 34:03
  if
• 34:04
  we
• 34:04
  just
• 34:04
  start
• 34:04
  treating
• 34:04
  ourselves
• 34:05
  and
• 34:05
  holding
• 34:06
  our
• 34:06
  standards
• 34:06
  just
• 34:07
  like
• 34:07
  we
• 34:07
  would
• 34:07
  for
• 34:08
  someone
• 34:08
  that
• 34:08
  we
• 34:08
  truly
• 34:09
  cared
• 34:09
  about
• 34:09
  and
• 34:09
  loved,
• 34:10
  we
• 34:10
  wouldn't
• 34:11
  be
• 34:11
  so
• 34:11
  hard
• 34:11
  on
• 34:12
  ourselves,
• 34:13
  you
• 34:13
  know,
• 34:13
  and.
• 34:14
  But
• 34:14
  it's
• 34:14
  hard
• 34:14
  to
• 34:15
  get
• 34:15
  into
• 34:15
  that
• 34:15
  habit.
• 34:15
  When
• 34:16
  you
• 34:16
  spill
• 34:16
  something.
• 34:17
  What
• 34:17
  it's
• 34:17
  like
• 34:17
  the
• 34:18
  rabbit
• 34:18
  hole
• 34:18
  of
• 34:20
  doomsday,
• 34:20
  you
• 34:21
  know,
• 34:21
  you
• 34:21
  spill
• 34:21
  something
• 34:22
  and
• 34:22
  go,
• 34:22
  God,
• 34:22
  that
• 34:22
  was
• 34:23
  stupid.
• 34:23
  I'm
• 34:23
  always
• 34:24
  stupid.
• 34:24
  I
• 34:24
  always
• 34:25
  spill
• 34:25
  things.
• 34:25
  Why
• 34:25
  can't
• 34:26
  I
• 34:26
  do
• 34:26
  anything
• 34:26
  right?
• 34:26
  And
• 34:26
  the
• 34:26
  next
• 34:27
  thing
• 34:27
  you
• 34:27
  know,
• 34:27
  you're
• 34:27
  this
• 34:28
  horrible
• 34:28
  person
• 34:29
  because
• 34:29
  you
• 34:29
  spilled
• 34:30
  2
• 34:30
  ounces
• 34:30
  of
• 34:30
  milk
• 34:30
  on
• 34:30
  a
• 34:31
  countertop,
• 34:31
  which
• 34:32
  cleans
• 34:32
  up,
• 34:33
  you
• 34:33
  know,
• 34:33
  it's
• 34:33
  like,
• 34:34
  so
• 34:34
  instead.
• 34:35
  But
• 34:35
  you
• 34:35
  gotta
• 34:36
  nip
• 34:36
  it.
• 34:36
  You
• 34:36
  got
• 34:36
  to
• 34:36
  nip
• 34:37
  it
• 34:37
  in
• 34:37
  the
• 34:37
  bud,
• 34:38
  you
• 34:38
  know?
• 34:39
  What
• 34:40
  do
• 34:40
  you
• 34:40
  use
• 34:40
  for,
• 34:41
  like,
• 34:41
  strategies
• 34:42
  to
• 34:42
  kind
• 34:42
  of
• 34:43
  diminish
• 34:43
  that
• 34:43
  self?
• 34:44
  Talk
• 34:44
  as
• 34:44
  quickly
• 34:45
  as
• 34:45
  you
• 34:45
  can.
• 34:45
  Like,
• 34:45
  what
• 34:46
  do
• 34:46
  you
• 34:46
  tell
• 34:46
  your
• 34:46
  clients?
• 34:47
  Yeah.
• 34:47
  So
• 34:48
  number
• 34:48
  one,
• 34:49
  and
• 34:49
  I
• 34:49
  know
• 34:49
  this
• 34:49
  seems
• 34:50
  simple,
• 34:50
  but
• 34:50
  I
• 34:50
  say
• 34:51
  this
• 34:51
  for
• 34:51
  everything.
• 34:51
  Number
• 34:52
  one
• 34:52
  is
• 34:52
  self
• 34:52
  awareness.
• 34:53
  Because
• 34:53
  I
• 34:53
  had
• 34:54
  that
• 34:54
  critical
• 34:54
  self
• 34:55
  talk
• 34:55
  running
• 34:56
  in
• 34:56
  my
• 34:56
  head
• 34:57
  forever
• 34:58
  and
• 34:58
  I
• 34:59
  thought
• 34:59
  it
• 34:59
  was
• 34:59
  okay.
• 35:00
  I
• 35:00
  thought
• 35:00
  it
• 35:00
  was
• 35:00
  the
• 35:00
  truth.
• 35:01
  So
• 35:01
  really
• 35:02
  taking
• 35:03
  a
• 35:03
  step
• 35:03
  back
• 35:03
  and
• 35:03
  being
• 35:04
  like,
• 35:04
  no,
• 35:05
  this
• 35:05
  isn't
• 35:05
  even
• 35:05
  my
• 35:06
  voice.
• 35:06
  This
• 35:06
  is
• 35:06
  my
• 35:07
  critical
• 35:07
  mother's
• 35:07
  voice.
• 35:08
  You
• 35:08
  know
• 35:08
  what
• 35:08
  I
• 35:08
  mean?
• 35:09
  So
• 35:09
  like
• 35:09
  just
• 35:09
  having
• 35:10
  the
• 35:10
  awareness
• 35:10
  that
• 35:11
  it's
• 35:11
  not
• 35:12
  your
• 35:12
  voice
• 35:12
  at
• 35:12
  all
• 35:13
  and
• 35:14
  you
• 35:14
  would
• 35:14
  never
• 35:14
  talk
• 35:15
  to
• 35:15
  yourself
• 35:15
  like
• 35:15
  that
• 35:16
  or
• 35:16
  again,
• 35:16
  a
• 35:17
  friend
• 35:17
  like
• 35:17
  that.
• 35:18
  And
• 35:18
  the
• 35:19
  second
• 35:19
  thing
• 35:19
  I
• 35:20
  tell
• 35:20
  people
• 35:21
  is
• 35:22
  reframe
• 35:22
  it.
• 35:23
  Like,
• 35:23
  I
• 35:23
  actually
• 35:23
  like
• 35:23
  your
• 35:23
  example
• 35:24
  of
• 35:24
  spilling
• 35:24
  the
• 35:25
  milk,
• 35:26
  reframe
• 35:26
  it
• 35:26
  as
• 35:27
  the
• 35:27
  truth.
• 35:27
  So
• 35:28
  maybe
• 35:28
  your
• 35:28
  critical
• 35:28
  inner
• 35:29
  voice,
• 35:29
  like
• 35:29
  your
• 35:29
  knee
• 35:30
  jerk
• 35:30
  reaction
• 35:30
  is
• 35:30
  like,
• 35:31
  oh,
• 35:31
  I
• 35:32
  messed
• 35:32
  up,
• 35:32
  I
• 35:32
  can't
• 35:32
  do
• 35:33
  anything
• 35:33
  right.
• 35:34
  Just
• 35:34
  pause,
• 35:35
  accept
• 35:35
  that
• 35:36
  it's
• 35:36
  there.
• 35:36
  You
• 35:37
  don't
• 35:37
  have
• 35:37
  to
• 35:37
  judge
• 35:38
  it
• 35:38
  or
• 35:38
  anything,
• 35:39
  but
• 35:39
  just
• 35:40
  reframe
• 35:40
  it
• 35:40
  with
• 35:40
  the
• 35:41
  truth.
• 35:41
  And
• 35:41
  this
• 35:41
  doesn't
• 35:42
  mean
• 35:42
  like
• 35:42
  toxic
• 35:43
  positivity.
• 35:44
  Like,
• 35:44
  oh,
• 35:44
  everything's
• 35:45
  fine,
• 35:45
  I
• 35:45
  do
• 35:45
  everything
• 35:46
  perfectly.
• 35:46
  But
• 35:47
  just
• 35:47
  reframe
• 35:47
  it
• 35:47
  with
• 35:48
  the
• 35:48
  truth.
• 35:48
  I
• 35:49
  made
• 35:49
  a
• 35:49
  mistake.
• 35:49
  And
• 35:50
  next
• 35:50
  time
• 35:51
  I'll
• 35:51
  do
• 35:51
  X,
• 35:51
  Y,
• 35:52
  Z
• 35:52
  to
• 35:52
  be
• 35:52
  more
• 35:53
  mindful
• 35:53
  that
• 35:53
  there's
• 35:54
  a
• 35:54
  cup
• 35:54
  full
• 35:54
  of
• 35:54
  milk
• 35:55
  next
• 35:55
  to
• 35:55
  me
• 35:55
  or
• 35:55
  whatever.
• 35:57
  Another
• 35:57
  thing
• 35:57
  I
• 35:57
  recommend
• 35:58
  is
• 36:00
  to
• 36:00
  what
• 36:00
  we
• 36:00
  were
• 36:00
  just
• 36:01
  saying.
• 36:01
  Like
• 36:02
  just
• 36:02
  specifically
• 36:03
  ask
• 36:03
  yourself,
• 36:03
  would
• 36:04
  I
• 36:04
  talk
• 36:04
  to
• 36:04
  a
• 36:05
  friend
• 36:05
  or
• 36:05
  someone
• 36:05
  I
• 36:05
  loved
• 36:06
  this
• 36:06
  way?
• 36:06
  Because
• 36:06
  again,
• 36:07
  chances
• 36:07
  are
• 36:08
  if
• 36:08
  your
• 36:08
  friend
• 36:09
  was
• 36:09
  at
• 36:09
  your
• 36:09
  house
• 36:09
  and
• 36:09
  spilled
• 36:10
  the
• 36:10
  same
• 36:10
  milk
• 36:11
  in
• 36:11
  the
• 36:11
  same
• 36:11
  manner,
• 36:12
  you
• 36:12
  wouldn't
• 36:12
  be
• 36:12
  berating
• 36:13
  them
• 36:13
  the
• 36:13
  way
• 36:14
  you're
• 36:14
  berating
• 36:14
  yourself.
• 36:15
  So
• 36:15
  why
• 36:15
  would
• 36:15
  you
• 36:16
  do
• 36:16
  that
• 36:16
  to
• 36:16
  yourself?
• 36:17
  Right?
• 36:17
  You
• 36:17
  would
• 36:17
  literally
• 36:18
  be
• 36:18
  like,
• 36:18
  who
• 36:18
  cares?
• 36:19
  It's
• 36:19
  2
• 36:19
  ounces
• 36:19
  of
• 36:20
  milk,
• 36:20
  I'm
• 36:20
  cleaning
• 36:20
  it
• 36:21
  up
• 36:21
  right
• 36:21
  now.
• 36:21
  Like
• 36:22
  literally.
• 36:22
  Yeah.
• 36:22
  You
• 36:22
  wouldn't
• 36:23
  be
• 36:23
  like,
• 36:23
  you
• 36:23
  lazy,
• 36:24
  like
• 36:24
  you
• 36:24
  stupid,
• 36:25
  clumsy,
• 36:26
  irresponsible,
• 36:27
  can't
• 36:27
  do
• 36:27
  anything
• 36:27
  right.
• 36:28
  Like,
• 36:29
  yeah,
• 36:29
  you
• 36:29
  know,
• 36:30
  it
• 36:30
  is
• 36:30
  amazing.
• 36:32
  Yeah.
• 36:32
  And
• 36:32
  that's
• 36:33
  such
• 36:33
  a,
• 36:34
  it's
• 36:34
  such
• 36:34
  a
• 36:34
  hard
• 36:35
  habit.
• 36:35
  But
• 36:35
  the
• 36:35
  self
• 36:35
  awareness
• 36:36
  is
• 36:36
  the
• 36:36
  truth
• 36:36
  and
• 36:37
  you
• 36:38
  might
• 36:38
  not
• 36:38
  even
• 36:38
  be
• 36:38
  able
• 36:39
  to
• 36:39
  deal
• 36:39
  with
• 36:39
  it
• 36:39
  at
• 36:40
  the
• 36:40
  moment.
• 36:40
  But
• 36:41
  sometimes
• 36:41
  it's.
• 36:41
  I
• 36:42
  like
• 36:42
  to
• 36:42
  be.
• 36:42
  Deal
• 36:42
  with
• 36:42
  it
• 36:43
  as
• 36:43
  quickly
• 36:43
  as
• 36:43
  you
• 36:43
  can
• 36:44
  because
• 36:44
  it
• 36:44
  takes
• 36:44
  a
• 36:44
  minute
• 36:45
  for
• 36:45
  things
• 36:45
  to
• 36:45
  set
• 36:45
  into
• 36:46
  your
• 36:46
  brain.
• 36:46
  So
• 36:46
  if
• 36:46
  you
• 36:47
  can,
• 36:47
  you
• 36:47
  know,
• 36:48
  like,
• 36:48
  let's
• 36:49
  just
• 36:49
  say
• 36:49
  you
• 36:49
  walk
• 36:49
  in
• 36:50
  and
• 36:51
  someone
• 36:51
  gives
• 36:51
  you,
• 36:52
  raises
• 36:53
  their
• 36:53
  eyebrow
• 36:54
  at
• 36:54
  you
• 36:54
  and
• 36:54
  you're
• 36:54
  like,
• 36:54
  oh
• 36:55
  my
• 36:55
  God,
• 36:55
  I
• 36:55
  did
• 36:55
  something
• 36:55
  wrong.
• 36:56
  Just
• 36:56
  stop
• 36:56
  yourself
• 36:56
  right
• 36:57
  then
• 36:57
  and
• 36:57
  there
• 36:57
  and
• 36:57
  be
• 36:57
  like,
• 36:58
  what,
• 36:58
  what
• 36:58
  would
• 36:59
  make
• 36:59
  you
• 36:59
  think
• 36:59
  you
• 36:59
  did
• 37:00
  something
• 37:00
  wrong?
• 37:00
  What
• 37:00
  did
• 37:01
  you
• 37:01
  do?
• 37:02
  You
• 37:02
  know,
• 37:02
  and
• 37:02
  if
• 37:02
  I
• 37:03
  was
• 37:03
  doing
• 37:03
  something
• 37:04
  wrong,
• 37:04
  then,
• 37:04
  well,
• 37:04
  what
• 37:04
  am
• 37:05
  I
• 37:05
  going
• 37:05
  to
• 37:05
  do
• 37:05
  differently?
• 37:05
  Kind
• 37:06
  of
• 37:06
  looking
• 37:06
  at
• 37:06
  that,
• 37:07
  you
• 37:07
  know,
• 37:08
  every
• 37:08
  single
• 37:08
  situation,
• 37:09
  you
• 37:09
  can
• 37:09
  either
• 37:10
  see
• 37:10
  the
• 37:10
  good
• 37:10
  and
• 37:10
  what
• 37:10
  you
• 37:11
  got
• 37:11
  out
• 37:11
  of
• 37:11
  it,
• 37:11
  or
• 37:11
  you
• 37:12
  can
• 37:12
  see
• 37:12
  the
• 37:12
  bad
• 37:12
  and
• 37:13
  what
• 37:13
  it.
• 37:13
  How
• 37:14
  it
• 37:14
  stressed
• 37:14
  you
• 37:14
  out.
• 37:15
  There's
• 37:15
  not
• 37:15
  going
• 37:15
  to
• 37:15
  be
• 37:15
  this,
• 37:16
  you
• 37:16
  know,
• 37:16
  it's
• 37:16
  like
• 37:17
  love
• 37:17
  or
• 37:17
  fear.
• 37:17
  It's
• 37:18
  like
• 37:18
  those
• 37:18
  are
• 37:18
  the
• 37:18
  two
• 37:18
  things.
• 37:19
  I
• 37:20
  can
• 37:20
  either
• 37:20
  find
• 37:20
  what
• 37:20
  I
• 37:21
  loved
• 37:21
  in
• 37:21
  that
• 37:21
  situation
• 37:21
  or
• 37:22
  I
• 37:22
  can
• 37:22
  be
• 37:22
  afraid
• 37:22
  of
• 37:22
  what
• 37:22
  it
• 37:23
  could
• 37:23
  have
• 37:23
  possibly
• 37:23
  caused
• 37:24
  me.
• 37:25
  Yeah.
• 37:25
  And
• 37:25
  another
• 37:26
  thing
• 37:26
  I
• 37:26
  recommend
• 37:26
  to
• 37:27
  people,
• 37:27
  and
• 37:27
  this
• 37:27
  is
• 37:28
  more
• 37:28
  an
• 37:28
  advanced
• 37:29
  exercise,
• 37:30
  but
• 37:31
  like
• 37:31
  with
• 37:32
  the
• 37:32
  spilled
• 37:32
  milk
• 37:32
  example,
• 37:33
  like
• 37:34
  if
• 37:34
  you
• 37:35
  are
• 37:35
  being
• 37:35
  that
• 37:36
  hard
• 37:36
  on
• 37:36
  yourself,
• 37:37
  for
• 37:37
  spilling
• 37:38
  milk.
• 37:38
  There's
• 37:39
  a
• 37:39
  reason
• 37:39
  why
• 37:40
  that's
• 37:40
  probably
• 37:41
  rooted
• 37:41
  in
• 37:41
  your
• 37:42
  childhood.
• 37:42
  Like,
• 37:42
  so,
• 37:42
  for
• 37:42
  example,
• 37:43
  your
• 37:43
  parents
• 37:44
  probably
• 37:44
  would
• 37:44
  have
• 37:44
  had
• 37:45
  like
• 37:45
  a
• 37:45
  totally,
• 37:47
  you
• 37:47
  know,
• 37:47
  out
• 37:47
  there
• 37:48
  reaction
• 37:48
  to
• 37:49
  something
• 37:49
  minor.
• 37:50
  So
• 37:50
  you
• 37:51
  probably
• 37:51
  grew
• 37:51
  up
• 37:51
  in
• 37:51
  a
• 37:51
  chaotic
• 37:52
  household.
• 37:53
  So,
• 37:54
  like,
• 37:54
  one
• 37:54
  of
• 37:54
  the
• 37:54
  best
• 37:55
  advice
• 37:55
  I've
• 37:55
  ever
• 37:55
  learned
• 37:56
  from
• 37:56
  an
• 37:56
  early
• 37:56
  mentor
• 37:57
  is
• 37:57
  question
• 37:57
  everything
• 37:58
  you
• 37:58
  do
• 37:58
  and
• 37:58
  why
• 37:58
  you
• 37:59
  do
• 37:59
  it.
• 37:59
  So
• 37:59
  you
• 38:00
  could
• 38:00
  even
• 38:00
  ask
• 38:00
  yourself,
• 38:01
  why
• 38:02
  am
• 38:02
  I
• 38:02
  being
• 38:03
  so
• 38:03
  hard
• 38:03
  on
• 38:03
  myself
• 38:04
  about
• 38:04
  this?
• 38:04
  And
• 38:05
  it's
• 38:05
  probably
• 38:05
  because
• 38:06
  one
• 38:06
  of
• 38:06
  your
• 38:06
  parents
• 38:07
  would
• 38:07
  have
• 38:07
  been.
• 38:08
  And
• 38:08
  that's
• 38:08
  how
• 38:08
  you
• 38:08
  can
• 38:09
  start
• 38:09
  to
• 38:09
  see.
• 38:10
  And
• 38:11
  I
• 38:11
  don't
• 38:11
  want
• 38:11
  to
• 38:11
  say
• 38:11
  ridiculous,
• 38:12
  because
• 38:13
  it
• 38:13
  makes
• 38:13
  sense
• 38:14
  how
• 38:14
  we
• 38:14
  evolved
• 38:14
  the
• 38:15
  way
• 38:15
  we
• 38:15
  did.
• 38:15
  But
• 38:15
  you
• 38:16
  can
• 38:16
  start
• 38:16
  to
• 38:16
  like,
• 38:16
  kind
• 38:16
  of
• 38:17
  step
• 38:17
  out
• 38:17
  of
• 38:17
  yourself
• 38:18
  and
• 38:18
  be
• 38:18
  like,
• 38:18
  oh,
• 38:19
  I'm
• 38:19
  an
• 38:19
  adult
• 38:20
  and
• 38:20
  I'm
• 38:20
  acting
• 38:20
  exactly
• 38:21
  how
• 38:21
  I
• 38:21
  did
• 38:21
  as
• 38:22
  a
• 38:22
  child
• 38:22
  or
• 38:22
  teenager,
• 38:23
  and
• 38:24
  just
• 38:24
  have
• 38:24
  that
• 38:24
  awareness
• 38:25
  so
• 38:25
  that
• 38:25
  you
• 38:25
  can
• 38:25
  start
• 38:25
  behaving
• 38:26
  like
• 38:26
  an
• 38:26
  adult
• 38:27
  now.
• 38:27
  Because
• 38:27
  you
• 38:28
  don't
• 38:28
  need
• 38:28
  to
• 38:28
  have
• 38:28
  the
• 38:28
  same
• 38:29
  responses
• 38:29
  that
• 38:29
  you
• 38:30
  did
• 38:30
  as
• 38:30
  a
• 38:30
  child
• 38:30
  or
• 38:31
  teenager.
• 38:32
  Well,
• 38:32
  and
• 38:32
  I
• 38:32
  tell
• 38:32
  people
• 38:33
  to
• 38:33
  think
• 38:33
  about
• 38:33
  it.
• 38:33
  When
• 38:34
  you're
• 38:34
  a
• 38:34
  child,
• 38:34
  everything,
• 38:35
  no
• 38:35
  matter
• 38:35
  how
• 38:36
  little
• 38:36
  it
• 38:36
  is,
• 38:36
  is
• 38:36
  big.
• 38:37
  Everything
• 38:37
  is
• 38:38
  huge.
• 38:38
  And
• 38:38
  that's
• 38:39
  reacting
• 38:40
  to
• 38:40
  the
• 38:40
  spilled
• 38:40
  milk
• 38:40
  that
• 38:40
  way.
• 38:41
  Yes.
• 38:41
  So
• 38:42
  your
• 38:42
  reaction
• 38:42
  when
• 38:43
  you
• 38:43
  got
• 38:43
  yelled
• 38:43
  at
• 38:43
  when
• 38:43
  you
• 38:44
  were
• 38:44
  five
• 38:44
  for
• 38:44
  spilling
• 38:45
  milk
• 38:47
  was
• 38:47
  huge
• 38:48
  to
• 38:48
  you
• 38:48
  and
• 38:48
  stuck
• 38:49
  in
• 38:49
  your
• 38:49
  back
• 38:49
  of
• 38:49
  your
• 38:50
  head
• 38:50
  as,
• 38:50
  oh,
• 38:50
  my
• 38:50
  God,
• 38:50
  I'll
• 38:51
  never
• 38:51
  do
• 38:51
  that
• 38:51
  again.
• 38:52
  Like,
• 38:52
  I
• 38:52
  better
• 38:52
  not.
• 38:53
  That's
• 38:53
  not
• 38:53
  safe.
• 38:53
  I
• 38:54
  mean,
• 38:54
  literally,
• 38:54
  it,
• 38:54
  it
• 38:55
  snowballs
• 38:55
  because
• 38:56
  it
• 38:56
  is
• 38:56
  big
• 38:56
  at
• 38:57
  that
• 38:57
  point.
• 38:57
  Yeah.
• 38:58
  But
• 38:59
  yeah,
• 38:59
  now
• 39:00
  it's
• 39:00
  like
• 39:00
  we're
• 39:00
  like,
• 39:00
  well,
• 39:01
  just
• 39:01
  let
• 39:02
  things
• 39:02
  roll
• 39:02
  off.
• 39:02
  And
• 39:02
  I
• 39:02
  love
• 39:03
  that
• 39:03
  you
• 39:03
  said
• 39:03
  that.
• 39:03
  And
• 39:03
  that's
• 39:04
  what
• 39:04
  I
• 39:04
  was
• 39:04
  kind
• 39:04
  of
• 39:04
  saying.
• 39:04
  Like,
• 39:05
  sometimes
• 39:06
  I
• 39:06
  write
• 39:06
  things
• 39:06
  down
• 39:07
  because
• 39:07
  obviously
• 39:07
  you
• 39:07
  can't
• 39:08
  always
• 39:08
  be
• 39:08
  like,
• 39:08
  oh,
• 39:08
  why
• 39:09
  did
• 39:09
  I
• 39:09
  get
• 39:09
  there?
• 39:09
  It's
• 39:09
  gonna
• 39:10
  take
• 39:10
  some
• 39:10
  time
• 39:10
  to
• 39:11
  process.
• 39:11
  And
• 39:12
  you
• 39:12
  know,
• 39:12
  and
• 39:12
  if.
• 39:13
  And
• 39:13
  I
• 39:13
  always
• 39:13
  tell
• 39:14
  people
• 39:14
  seven
• 39:15
  whys,
• 39:15
  and
• 39:16
  I
• 39:16
  know
• 39:16
  that
• 39:16
  sounds
• 39:16
  really
• 39:16
  weird,
• 39:17
  but
• 39:17
  seven.
• 39:17
  I
• 39:18
  just
• 39:18
  like
• 39:18
  the
• 39:18
  number
• 39:18
  seven.
• 39:19
  But
• 39:19
  why
• 39:19
  did
• 39:20
  I
• 39:20
  do
• 39:20
  that?
• 39:20
  Well,
• 39:20
  because
• 39:21
  of
• 39:21
  this.
• 39:21
  Well,
• 39:21
  why?
• 39:22
  You
• 39:22
  know,
• 39:22
  I
• 39:23
  sound
• 39:23
  like
• 39:23
  when
• 39:23
  I
• 39:23
  go
• 39:24
  through
• 39:24
  it
• 39:24
  with
• 39:24
  my
• 39:25
  head.
• 39:25
  When
• 39:25
  I
• 39:25
  go
• 39:26
  back
• 39:26
  through.
• 39:26
  Yes.
• 39:26
  When
• 39:26
  I
• 39:26
  go
• 39:27
  back
• 39:27
  through
• 39:27
  it,
• 39:27
  it's
• 39:27
  like
• 39:27
  that
• 39:28
  two
• 39:28
  year
• 39:28
  old.
• 39:28
  Well,
• 39:28
  why?
• 39:29
  You
• 39:29
  know,
• 39:30
  why.
• 39:30
  Why
• 39:30
  do
• 39:31
  birds
• 39:31
  fly?
• 39:31
  I
• 39:31
  don't
• 39:32
  know.
• 39:32
  Well,
• 39:32
  God
• 39:33
  made
• 39:33
  them.
• 39:33
  Well,
• 39:33
  why
• 39:33
  did
• 39:33
  he
• 39:34
  make
• 39:34
  them
• 39:34
  that
• 39:34
  way?
• 39:34
  You
• 39:35
  know,
• 39:35
  it's
• 39:35
  keep
• 39:35
  going
• 39:36
  because
• 39:36
  you're
• 39:37
  going
• 39:37
  to
• 39:37
  actually
• 39:37
  eventually
• 39:38
  get
• 39:38
  to
• 39:39
  the
• 39:39
  real
• 39:39
  answer.
• 39:39
  The
• 39:40
  first
• 39:40
  answer.
• 39:41
  Kind
• 39:41
  of
• 39:41
  like
• 39:41
  when
• 39:41
  people
• 39:41
  say,
• 39:42
  what
• 39:42
  is
• 39:42
  your
• 39:42
  why?
• 39:43
  Well,
• 39:44
  I
• 39:44
  want
• 39:44
  to
• 39:44
  make
• 39:44
  lots
• 39:44
  of
• 39:45
  money.
• 39:45
  Well,
• 39:45
  that's
• 39:45
  not
• 39:45
  your.
• 39:46
  Why
• 39:46
  exactly.
• 39:47
  Why
• 39:47
  do
• 39:47
  I
• 39:47
  want
• 39:47
  to
• 39:47
  do
• 39:48
  you
• 39:48
  have
• 39:48
  to
• 39:48
  keep.
• 39:49
  Keep
• 39:49
  going?
• 39:49
  So
• 39:50
  it's
• 39:50
  a
• 39:50
  good.
• 39:50
  I
• 39:51
  always
• 39:51
  say
• 39:51
  write
• 39:51
  down
• 39:51
  the
• 39:52
  strange
• 39:52
  things
• 39:53
  or
• 39:53
  the
• 39:53
  reactions
• 39:54
  or
• 39:54
  the
• 39:54
  feelings
• 39:54
  or
• 39:55
  the
• 39:56
  whatever
• 39:56
  that
• 39:56
  you
• 39:57
  have
• 39:57
  during
• 39:57
  the
• 39:57
  day.
• 39:57
  And
• 39:57
  those
• 39:58
  are
• 39:58
  great
• 39:58
  things
• 39:58
  to
• 39:58
  journal
• 39:59
  about.
• 40:00
  Yeah.
• 40:00
  And
• 40:00
  I
• 40:00
  know
• 40:01
  not
• 40:01
  everyone
• 40:01
  likes
• 40:02
  journaling,
• 40:02
  but
• 40:02
  I
• 40:02
  agree.
• 40:03
  I
• 40:03
  recommend
• 40:03
  writing
• 40:04
  it
• 40:04
  down
• 40:05
  because
• 40:05
  you're
• 40:05
  probably
• 40:06
  not
• 40:06
  going
• 40:06
  to
• 40:06
  get
• 40:06
  to
• 40:07
  it
• 40:07
  in
• 40:07
  one
• 40:07
  session.
• 40:08
  So,
• 40:08
  like,
• 40:09
  just
• 40:09
  write
• 40:09
  down
• 40:09
  as
• 40:09
  much
• 40:10
  as
• 40:10
  you
• 40:10
  can
• 40:10
  so
• 40:11
  that
• 40:11
  way
• 40:11
  the
• 40:11
  next
• 40:11
  time
• 40:12
  something
• 40:12
  happens,
• 40:13
  you
• 40:13
  can
• 40:13
  go
• 40:13
  through
• 40:13
  the
• 40:14
  same
• 40:14
  process.
• 40:14
  And
• 40:15
  even
• 40:15
  if
• 40:15
  it's
• 40:16
  totally
• 40:16
  different
• 40:16
  than
• 40:16
  spilling
• 40:17
  milk,
• 40:17
  the
• 40:17
  underlying
• 40:18
  belief
• 40:18
  is
• 40:18
  probably
• 40:19
  related.
• 40:20
  So
• 40:20
  by
• 40:20
  writing
• 40:20
  it
• 40:20
  down,
• 40:21
  you
• 40:21
  have
• 40:21
  more
• 40:21
  documentation
• 40:22
  that
• 40:22
  will
• 40:23
  help
• 40:23
  you,
• 40:23
  like,
• 40:23
  facilitate
• 40:24
  the
• 40:24
  whole
• 40:24
  process.
• 40:25
  Right.
• 40:25
  And
• 40:25
  writing
• 40:26
  it
• 40:26
  down
• 40:26
  also
• 40:26
  is
• 40:27
  a
• 40:27
  release.
• 40:28
  So
• 40:28
  whether
• 40:28
  you
• 40:29
  speak
• 40:29
  it
• 40:29
  out
• 40:29
  loud
• 40:29
  or
• 40:30
  write
• 40:30
  it
• 40:30
  down,
• 40:30
  it
• 40:30
  is
• 40:31
  getting
• 40:31
  it
• 40:31
  out
• 40:31
  of
• 40:31
  your
• 40:31
  body
• 40:32
  that
• 40:32
  the
• 40:32
  emotion
• 40:33
  attached
• 40:33
  to
• 40:34
  it
• 40:34
  is
• 40:34
  now,
• 40:35
  you
• 40:35
  know,
• 40:36
  on
• 40:36
  that
• 40:36
  piece
• 40:37
  of
• 40:37
  paper
• 40:37
  or
• 40:37
  wherever
• 40:38
  it
• 40:38
  is.
• 40:38
  I
• 40:38
  used
• 40:38
  to,
• 40:39
  like
• 40:39
  I
• 40:39
  said,
• 40:39
  I
• 40:39
  used
• 40:39
  to
• 40:40
  write
• 40:40
  and
• 40:40
  then
• 40:40
  I
• 40:40
  used
• 40:40
  to
• 40:41
  burn
• 40:41
  my
• 40:41
  journals
• 40:42
  or
• 40:42
  I
• 40:42
  would
• 40:42
  rip
• 40:42
  them
• 40:42
  up
• 40:42
  and
• 40:43
  let
• 40:43
  them
• 40:43
  float.
• 40:43
  For
• 40:43
  some
• 40:44
  reason,
• 40:44
  I
• 40:44
  loved
• 40:44
  water.
• 40:45
  I
• 40:45
  would
• 40:45
  rip
• 40:45
  them
• 40:45
  up
• 40:45
  and
• 40:45
  let
• 40:46
  them
• 40:46
  float
• 40:46
  down
• 40:46
  a
• 40:46
  river
• 40:47
  because
• 40:47
  it
• 40:47
  was
• 40:47
  like,
• 40:47
  okay,
• 40:48
  this
• 40:48
  is
• 40:49
  two
• 40:49
  months
• 40:49
  of
• 40:49
  crap,
• 40:50
  and
• 40:50
  I
• 40:50
  got
• 40:50
  to
• 40:50
  get
• 40:50
  rid
• 40:51
  of
• 40:51
  it.
• 40:51
  And
• 40:51
  I
• 40:51
  also,
• 40:52
  also
• 40:52
  was
• 40:52
  afraid
• 40:53
  because
• 40:53
  I
• 40:53
  was
• 40:53
  afraid
• 40:53
  someone
• 40:54
  was
• 40:54
  going
• 40:54
  to
• 40:54
  read
• 40:54
  them.
• 40:55
  So.
• 40:56
  So.
• 40:56
  But
• 40:57
  it
• 40:57
  was
• 40:57
  a
• 40:57
  release
• 40:58
  for
• 40:58
  me
• 40:58
  and
• 40:58
  it
• 40:58
  felt
• 40:59
  really
• 40:59
  good.
• 40:59
  And
• 40:59
  I've
• 40:59
  heard
• 41:00
  a
• 41:00
  lot
• 41:00
  of
• 41:00
  people
• 41:00
  say
• 41:00
  that,
• 41:01
  you
• 41:01
  know,
• 41:01
  they
• 41:01
  burn
• 41:02
  pages
• 41:02
  of
• 41:02
  their
• 41:02
  journal
• 41:03
  or
• 41:03
  when
• 41:03
  you're
• 41:04
  angry,
• 41:04
  you
• 41:04
  write
• 41:04
  a
• 41:05
  letter,
• 41:05
  that
• 41:05
  person
• 41:05
  that
• 41:06
  hurts
• 41:06
  you,
• 41:06
  and
• 41:07
  then
• 41:07
  you
• 41:07
  burn
• 41:07
  it
• 41:08
  or
• 41:08
  you
• 41:08
  rip
• 41:08
  it
• 41:09
  up
• 41:09
  or
• 41:09
  you
• 41:09
  mail
• 41:10
  it
• 41:10
  to
• 41:10
  the
• 41:11
  North
• 41:11
  Pole
• 41:11
  or
• 41:11
  something
• 41:12
  so
• 41:12
  that
• 41:12
  she
• 41:12
  doesn't
• 41:13
  actually
• 41:13
  get
• 41:13
  it.
• 41:14
  I
• 41:14
  don't
• 41:14
  know
• 41:14
  if
• 41:14
  Santa
• 41:14
  would
• 41:15
  get
• 41:15
  it,
• 41:15
  but
• 41:16
  I
• 41:16
  hope
• 41:17
  not.
• 41:17
  I
• 41:18
  think
• 41:18
  there.
• 41:18
  Isn't
• 41:18
  there,
• 41:18
  like,
• 41:19
  a
• 41:19
  fake
• 41:19
  address
• 41:19
  that
• 41:20
  kids
• 41:20
  can
• 41:20
  send
• 41:20
  letters?
• 41:21
  Yeah,
• 41:22
  we
• 41:22
  used
• 41:22
  to
• 41:22
  send
• 41:22
  letters
• 41:23
  to
• 41:23
  Santa.
• 41:23
  Yeah,
• 41:24
  but,
• 41:24
  you
• 41:25
  know,
• 41:25
  angry
• 41:25
  letters.
• 41:26
  But
• 41:27
  I
• 41:27
  hope
• 41:27
  eating.
• 41:28
  And
• 41:28
  no
• 41:28
  wonder
• 41:28
  I
• 41:28
  didn't
• 41:28
  get
• 41:29
  those
• 41:29
  Christmas
• 41:29
  presents.
• 41:30
  I
• 41:30
  was
• 41:30
  on
• 41:30
  the
• 41:30
  naughty
• 41:30
  list.
• 41:32
  But
• 41:32
  anyway.
• 41:33
  Yeah,
• 41:33
  no,
• 41:33
  but
• 41:34
  seriously,
• 41:34
  it's.
• 41:34
  It's
• 41:35
  a
• 41:35
  physical.
• 41:36
  It's
• 41:36
  been
• 41:36
  shown,
• 41:37
  like,
• 41:37
  to
• 41:37
  release
• 41:38
  it
• 41:38
  gets
• 41:39
  some
• 41:39
  of
• 41:39
  that
• 41:39
  tension
• 41:40
  out
• 41:40
  of
• 41:40
  your
• 41:40
  body
• 41:41
  and,
• 41:41
  you
• 41:42
  know,
• 41:42
  shaking
• 41:43
  all
• 41:43
  kinds
• 41:43
  of
• 41:43
  different
• 41:44
  ways
• 41:44
  you
• 41:44
  can
• 41:44
  do
• 41:44
  it
• 41:45
  also.
• 41:45
  Yeah,
• 41:46
  like,
• 41:46
  shaking
• 41:46
  is
• 41:47
  good.
• 41:47
  I
• 41:47
  love
• 41:47
  dancing.
• 41:48
  But
• 41:48
  just
• 41:48
  moving
• 41:49
  your
• 41:49
  body
• 41:49
  in
• 41:49
  general.
• 41:50
  I
• 41:50
  know
• 41:50
  I
• 41:50
  tell
• 41:50
  people
• 41:51
  that
• 41:51
  all
• 41:51
  of
• 41:51
  the
• 41:51
  time.
• 41:52
  Or
• 41:52
  even
• 41:52
  walking.
• 41:53
  I'm
• 41:53
  like,
• 41:53
  go
• 41:53
  for
• 41:53
  a
• 41:54
  mindful
• 41:54
  walk.
• 41:55
  That's
• 41:55
  so
• 41:55
  amazing.
• 41:56
  Yeah,
• 41:57
  it's.
• 41:57
  It
• 41:57
  Is
• 41:57
  funny
• 41:58
  too.
• 41:58
  Just.
• 41:58
  Just
• 41:58
  that
• 41:59
  little
• 41:59
  bit
• 41:59
  of
• 41:59
  movement.
• 42:00
  I
• 42:00
  can
• 42:00
  watch
• 42:01
  people
• 42:01
  and
• 42:01
  it's
• 42:01
  funny.
• 42:02
  There's
• 42:02
  people
• 42:02
  that
• 42:02
  I
• 42:02
  work
• 42:03
  with
• 42:03
  and
• 42:03
  I
• 42:03
  laugh
• 42:04
  because
• 42:04
  I
• 42:04
  can
• 42:04
  tell
• 42:04
  when
• 42:05
  they're
• 42:05
  stressed
• 42:05
  out
• 42:05
  because
• 42:06
  they
• 42:06
  just.
• 42:06
  If
• 42:06
  they're
• 42:07
  talking
• 42:07
  to
• 42:07
  someone
• 42:07
  and
• 42:07
  they're
• 42:08
  stressed,
• 42:08
  their
• 42:08
  hips
• 42:09
  go
• 42:09
  back
• 42:09
  and
• 42:09
  forth
• 42:10
  and
• 42:10
  that
• 42:11
  kind
• 42:11
  of
• 42:11
  keeps
• 42:11
  them.
• 42:12
  Keeps
• 42:12
  them
• 42:12
  grounded
• 42:13
  and
• 42:13
  everybody
• 42:14
  has
• 42:14
  their
• 42:14
  thing.
• 42:14
  So
• 42:14
  I
• 42:15
  say,
• 42:15
  watch
• 42:15
  me.
• 42:15
  I'm
• 42:15
  very
• 42:16
  into,
• 42:16
  like
• 42:16
  watching
• 42:17
  people,
• 42:17
  how
• 42:17
  they
• 42:18
  react,
• 42:19
  you
• 42:19
  know.
• 42:19
  Yeah.
• 42:19
  And
• 42:20
  how
• 42:20
  they
• 42:20
  kind
• 42:20
  of
• 42:20
  fidget
• 42:21
  when
• 42:21
  they
• 42:21
  talk.
• 42:23
  I
• 42:23
  do.
• 42:23
  I'm
• 42:23
  a.
• 42:23
  I'm
• 42:24
  a
• 42:24
  doodler.
• 42:24
  I
• 42:25
  doodle,
• 42:25
  I
• 42:25
  write.
• 42:25
  I
• 42:26
  do
• 42:26
  kind
• 42:26
  of
• 42:26
  things.
• 42:27
  Yeah.
• 42:28
  Like,
• 42:28
  almost
• 42:28
  like.
• 42:28
  I
• 42:29
  don't
• 42:29
  want
• 42:29
  to
• 42:29
  say
• 42:29
  nervous,
• 42:29
  but
• 42:30
  I
• 42:30
  always
• 42:30
  do.
• 42:31
  I'm
• 42:31
  always
• 42:31
  writing.
• 42:31
  Well,
• 42:32
  I'm
• 42:32
  writing,
• 42:32
  taking
• 42:33
  notes,
• 42:33
  but.
• 42:34
  But
• 42:34
  yeah,
• 42:34
  it's
• 42:34
  really
• 42:35
  funny
• 42:35
  watching.
• 42:36
  And
• 42:36
  sometimes
• 42:36
  just
• 42:37
  the
• 42:37
  slightest
• 42:37
  bit
• 42:38
  of
• 42:38
  movement
• 42:38
  can
• 42:38
  be
• 42:39
  all
• 42:39
  you
• 42:39
  need
• 42:39
  to
• 42:40
  get
• 42:40
  you
• 42:40
  in
• 42:41
  another
• 42:41
  state.
• 42:42
  You
• 42:42
  know,
• 42:42
  get
• 42:42
  up
• 42:42
  and
• 42:43
  just
• 42:43
  kind
• 42:43
  of
• 42:43
  move
• 42:43
  around,
• 42:44
  stretch,
• 42:45
  get
• 42:45
  all.
• 42:46
  Any
• 42:46
  kind
• 42:46
  of
• 42:47
  movement
• 42:47
  is
• 42:47
  great
• 42:47
  for
• 42:47
  a
• 42:47
  state
• 42:48
  change.
• 42:49
  Absolutely.
• 42:50
  Love
• 42:50
  it.
• 42:51
  Yes.
• 42:52
  Well,
• 42:52
  this
• 42:52
  has
• 42:52
  been
• 42:52
  super
• 42:52
  fun.
• 42:53
  I
• 42:53
  could
• 42:53
  talk
• 42:53
  to
• 42:53
  you
• 42:53
  forever
• 42:54
  and
• 42:54
  ever
• 42:54
  and
• 42:54
  ever.
• 42:55
  I
• 42:55
  know,
• 42:56
  right?
• 42:57
  So,
• 42:57
  Angie,
• 42:58
  if
• 42:58
  people
• 42:59
  want
• 42:59
  to
• 42:59
  work
• 42:59
  with
• 42:59
  you,
• 42:59
  they
• 43:00
  want
• 43:00
  to
• 43:00
  find
• 43:00
  out
• 43:00
  more
• 43:00
  about
• 43:01
  what
• 43:01
  you
• 43:01
  do
• 43:01
  and
• 43:02
  they
• 43:02
  want
• 43:02
  to
• 43:02
  see
• 43:02
  what
• 43:02
  you
• 43:02
  have
• 43:03
  to
• 43:03
  offer.
• 43:03
  Where
• 43:03
  would
• 43:03
  they
• 43:04
  go?
• 43:05
  My
• 43:05
  website
• 43:06
  is
• 43:06
  runningandslippers.com
• 43:08
  which
• 43:08
  is
• 43:08
  also
• 43:09
  the
• 43:09
  name
• 43:09
  of
• 43:09
  my
• 43:09
  book.
• 43:10
  So
• 43:10
  there's
• 43:10
  obviously
• 43:10
  information
• 43:11
  about
• 43:11
  my
• 43:11
  book.
• 43:12
  There
• 43:12
  is
• 43:12
  also
• 43:13
  information
• 43:14
  about
• 43:14
  my
• 43:14
  coaching
• 43:15
  program.
• 43:16
  And
• 43:16
  I
• 43:16
  help
• 43:16
  high
• 43:17
  achieving
• 43:17
  women
• 43:18
  go
• 43:18
  from
• 43:18
  chasing
• 43:19
  love
• 43:19
  and
• 43:19
  approval
• 43:20
  and
• 43:20
  everything
• 43:20
  outside
• 43:21
  of
• 43:21
  themselves
• 43:21
  to
• 43:22
  radiating
• 43:23
  it
• 43:23
  from
• 43:23
  within.
• 43:24
  And
• 43:25
  I
• 43:25
  used
• 43:25
  to
• 43:26
  offer
• 43:26
  a
• 43:27
  free
• 43:27
  60
• 43:28
  minute
• 43:28
  find
• 43:28
  your
• 43:29
  glow
• 43:29
  session
• 43:30
  where
• 43:31
  in
• 43:31
  my
• 43:31
  glow
• 43:31
  method,
• 43:32
  the
• 43:32
  G
• 43:32
  stands
• 43:33
  for
• 43:33
  go
• 43:33
  back
• 43:33
  to
• 43:33
  your
• 43:33
  childhood.
• 43:34
  So
• 43:34
  we
• 43:34
  actually
• 43:35
  go
• 43:35
  back
• 43:35
  to
• 43:35
  your
• 43:36
  childhood
• 43:36
  and
• 43:36
  peel
• 43:37
  back
• 43:37
  the
• 43:37
  layers
• 43:37
  of
• 43:37
  the
• 43:38
  onions
• 43:38
  how
• 43:38
  we
• 43:38
  were
• 43:38
  talking
• 43:39
  about
• 43:39
  and
• 43:39
  find
• 43:39
  your
• 43:40
  root
• 43:40
  cause,
• 43:40
  limiting
• 43:41
  belief.
• 43:42
  I
• 43:42
  am
• 43:42
  phasing
• 43:43
  that
• 43:43
  out.
• 43:43
  But
• 43:43
  if
• 43:44
  you
• 43:44
  come
• 43:44
  to
• 43:44
  me
• 43:44
  and
• 43:44
  tell
• 43:45
  me
• 43:45
  that
• 43:45
  you
• 43:45
  heard
• 43:45
  me
• 43:46
  on
• 43:46
  this
• 43:46
  podcast,
• 43:47
  then
• 43:48
  it
• 43:48
  is
• 43:48
  available
• 43:48
  for
• 43:49
  you.
• 43:49
  So
• 43:49
  again,
• 43:49
  it's
• 43:50
  a
• 43:50
  free
• 43:50
  one
• 43:50
  hour
• 43:51
  session
• 43:51
  where
• 43:51
  we
• 43:51
  were
• 43:52
  like,
• 43:52
  go
• 43:52
  to
• 43:52
  that
• 43:52
  root
• 43:53
  cause,
• 43:54
  which
• 43:54
  is
• 43:54
  so
• 43:54
  helpful
• 43:55
  because
• 43:55
  whether
• 43:55
  we
• 43:56
  end
• 43:56
  up
• 43:56
  working
• 43:56
  together
• 43:57
  or
• 43:57
  not,
• 43:58
  that,
• 43:59
  I
• 44:00
  mean,
• 44:00
  that's
• 44:00
  just
• 44:00
  enough
• 44:00
  information
• 44:01
  for
• 44:01
  you
• 44:01
  to
• 44:01
  go
• 44:02
  on
• 44:02
  your
• 44:02
  own
• 44:02
  for
• 44:02
  a
• 44:02
  little
• 44:02
  bit,
• 44:03
  even
• 44:03
  without
• 44:04
  any
• 44:04
  help.
• 44:04
  But
• 44:05
  that,
• 44:06
  for
• 44:06
  me,
• 44:06
  that's
• 44:07
  what
• 44:07
  changed
• 44:07
  my
• 44:07
  life.
• 44:08
  So
• 44:08
  that's
• 44:08
  the
• 44:08
  first
• 44:09
  step
• 44:09
  that
• 44:09
  I
• 44:09
  like
• 44:09
  to
• 44:09
  offer
• 44:09
  to
• 44:10
  people.
• 44:11
  Okay,
• 44:11
  perfect.
• 44:12
  Sounds
• 44:12
  good.
• 44:12
  And
• 44:13
  I
• 44:13
  will
• 44:13
  put
• 44:14
  those
• 44:14
  in
• 44:14
  the
• 44:14
  show
• 44:14
  notes
• 44:15
  in
• 44:15
  case
• 44:15
  anybody
• 44:15
  is
• 44:15
  driving
• 44:16
  or
• 44:16
  doesn't
• 44:16
  have
• 44:16
  time
• 44:17
  to
• 44:17
  pull
• 44:17
  over.
• 44:17
  Whatever
• 44:18
  So
• 44:18
  I
• 44:18
  don't
• 44:18
  want
• 44:19
  anybody
• 44:19
  crashing.
• 44:19
  We
• 44:19
  want
• 44:20
  it
• 44:20
  all
• 44:20
  happy
• 44:20
  here.
• 44:21
  Okay.
• 44:22
  This
• 44:22
  has
• 44:22
  been,
• 44:22
  like
• 44:22
  I
• 44:22
  said,
• 44:23
  super
• 44:23
  fun
• 44:23
  and
• 44:24
  literally
• 44:25
  we
• 44:25
  have
• 44:25
  a
• 44:25
  lot
• 44:26
  to
• 44:26
  talk
• 44:26
  about
• 44:26
  we
• 44:26
  could
• 44:27
  back
• 44:28
  on
• 44:28
  because
• 44:28
  there's
• 44:28
  so
• 44:29
  many
• 44:29
  topics.
• 44:29
  I
• 44:29
  mean,
• 44:29
  I'm
• 44:29
  looking
• 44:30
  at
• 44:30
  your
• 44:30
  questions,
• 44:30
  I'm
• 44:30
  like,
• 44:30
  oh
• 44:31
  God.
• 44:31
  I
• 44:31
  didn't
• 44:31
  even
• 44:31
  touch
• 44:32
  on
• 44:32
  her
• 44:32
  questions.
• 44:32
  But
• 44:34
  that's
• 44:34
  okay.
• 44:35
  Hopefully.
• 44:35
  I'm
• 44:36
  a
• 44:36
  big
• 44:36
  believer
• 44:37
  in
• 44:37
  the
• 44:38
  universe.
• 44:38
  Makes
• 44:39
  me
• 44:39
  spit
• 44:39
  out
• 44:40
  whatever
• 44:40
  somebody
• 44:40
  needs
• 44:41
  to
• 44:41
  hear
• 44:41
  at
• 44:41
  the
• 44:41
  moment.
• 44:42
  So,
• 44:42
  yeah,
• 44:43
  I
• 44:43
  don't.
• 44:43
  I
• 44:44
  never
• 44:44
  know
• 44:44
  where
• 44:44
  it's
• 44:44
  going.
• 44:45
  But
• 44:46
  if
• 44:46
  you
• 44:46
  had
• 44:47
  one
• 44:47
  big
• 44:48
  message
• 44:48
  for
• 44:48
  people
• 44:49
  to
• 44:49
  make
• 44:50
  their
• 44:50
  day
• 44:50
  a
• 44:50
  little
• 44:50
  brighter
• 44:51
  or
• 44:51
  one
• 44:51
  tip
• 44:51
  or
• 44:52
  trick,
• 44:52
  what
• 44:52
  would
• 44:52
  it
• 44:52
  be
• 44:53
  for
• 44:53
  them
• 44:53
  today?
• 44:55
  Well,
• 44:55
  we
• 44:55
  were
• 44:56
  touching
• 44:56
  on
• 44:56
  self
• 44:57
  worth
• 44:57
  earlier
• 44:58
  and
• 44:58
  I
• 44:59
  used
• 44:59
  to
• 45:00
  live
• 45:00
  my
• 45:00
  life
• 45:00
  from
• 45:00
  a
• 45:00
  place
• 45:01
  of
• 45:01
  low
• 45:01
  self
• 45:01
  worth.
• 45:02
  I
• 45:03
  didn't
• 45:03
  feel
• 45:03
  happy
• 45:04
  and
• 45:04
  fulfilled,
• 45:05
  but
• 45:05
  because
• 45:05
  my
• 45:06
  self
• 45:06
  self
• 45:06
  worth
• 45:07
  was
• 45:07
  so
• 45:07
  low,
• 45:08
  I
• 45:08
  didn't
• 45:08
  even
• 45:08
  think
• 45:09
  happiness
• 45:09
  and
• 45:09
  fulfillment
• 45:10
  was
• 45:10
  something
• 45:10
  that
• 45:10
  was
• 45:11
  even
• 45:11
  available
• 45:11
  to
• 45:12
  me.
• 45:12
  I
• 45:12
  would
• 45:12
  see
• 45:12
  other
• 45:12
  people
• 45:13
  living
• 45:13
  it.
• 45:14
  And
• 45:14
  I
• 45:15
  know
• 45:15
  this
• 45:15
  sounds
• 45:15
  ridiculous,
• 45:16
  but
• 45:16
  I
• 45:16
  would
• 45:16
  be
• 45:16
  like,
• 45:16
  oh,
• 45:16
  that's
• 45:17
  just
• 45:17
  not
• 45:17
  for
• 45:17
  me.
• 45:17
  That's
• 45:17
  just
• 45:18
  not
• 45:18
  available
• 45:18
  to
• 45:18
  me.
• 45:19
  But
• 45:20
  now
• 45:20
  I
• 45:20
  live
• 45:20
  my
• 45:21
  life
• 45:21
  in
• 45:21
  a
• 45:22
  place
• 45:22
  where
• 45:22
  I'm
• 45:22
  happy
• 45:22
  and
• 45:23
  fulfilled
• 45:23
  most
• 45:23
  of
• 45:23
  the
• 45:24
  time.
• 45:24
  And
• 45:24
  that
• 45:24
  doesn't
• 45:24
  mean
• 45:24
  I
• 45:25
  don't
• 45:25
  have
• 45:25
  struggles,
• 45:25
  I
• 45:26
  don't
• 45:26
  have
• 45:26
  challenges
• 45:26
  and
• 45:27
  I
• 45:27
  don't
• 45:27
  feel
• 45:27
  negative
• 45:28
  feelings.
• 45:28
  It
• 45:29
  means
• 45:29
  I
• 45:29
  can
• 45:29
  still
• 45:29
  feel
• 45:30
  happy
• 45:30
  and
• 45:30
  fulfilled
• 45:31
  despite
• 45:32
  what
• 45:32
  I'm
• 45:32
  going
• 45:32
  through
• 45:32
  or
• 45:33
  whatever's
• 45:33
  going
• 45:34
  on
• 45:34
  around
• 45:34
  me.
• 45:35
  So
• 45:36
  I
• 45:36
  always
• 45:36
  like
• 45:36
  to
• 45:37
  remind
• 45:38
  people
• 45:38
  that
• 45:39
  you
• 45:39
  are
• 45:39
  worthy
• 45:41
  and
• 45:41
  happiness
• 45:41
  and
• 45:41
  fulfillment
• 45:42
  is
• 45:42
  absolutely
• 45:43
  available
• 45:43
  to
• 45:44
  you.
• 45:44
  Because
• 45:44
  if
• 45:44
  I
• 45:45
  can
• 45:45
  find
• 45:45
  it,
• 45:45
  anyone
• 45:46
  can
• 45:46
  find
• 45:46
  it.
• 45:47
  Oh,
• 45:48
  that
• 45:48
  was
• 45:48
  sweet.
• 45:49
  Thank
• 45:49
  you
• 45:50
  for
• 45:50
  that.
• 45:51
  Yes,
• 45:51
  thank
• 45:52
  you.
• 45:52
  And
• 45:52
  thank
• 45:52
  you
• 45:53
  so
• 45:53
  much
• 45:53
  for
• 45:53
  coming
• 45:54
  on.
• 45:54
  Thank
• 45:55
  you
• 45:55
  for
• 45:55
  having
• 45:55
  me.
• 45:55
  I
• 45:55
  love
• 45:55
  this.
• 45:56
  Oh,
• 45:56
  you're
• 45:56
  very
• 45:57
  welcome.
• 45:57
  For
• 45:57
  everybody
• 45:58
  else
• 45:58
  out
• 45:58
  there
• 45:58
  listening,
• 45:58
  you
• 45:59
  heard
• 45:59
  it.
• 45:59
  It
• 45:59
  doesn't
• 46:00
  matter
• 46:00
  where
• 46:00
  you
• 46:00
  are
• 46:00
  right
• 46:01
  now
• 46:01
  if
• 46:01
  you
• 46:02
  are
• 46:02
  not
• 46:02
  100%
• 46:03
  happy,
• 46:04
  fulfilled,
• 46:05
  joyous,
• 46:05
  just
• 46:06
  like
• 46:06
  our
• 46:06
  maker
• 46:07
  made
• 46:07
  us
• 46:07
  to
• 46:08
  be.
• 46:09
  You
• 46:09
  have
• 46:10
  resources
• 46:10
  and
• 46:10
  you
• 46:11
  have
• 46:11
  every
• 46:11
  single
• 46:12
  bit
• 46:12
  of
• 46:12
  worth
• 46:13
  and
• 46:13
  deservingness.
• 46:14
  I
• 46:15
  don't
• 46:15
  even
• 46:15
  know
• 46:15
  if
• 46:15
  that's
• 46:15
  a
• 46:16
  word
• 46:16
  to
• 46:16
  go
• 46:17
  out
• 46:17
  and
• 46:17
  get
• 46:18
  that.
• 46:18
  So
• 46:18
  you
• 46:18
  all
• 46:19
  have
• 46:19
  a
• 46:19
  blessed
• 46:19
  day
• 46:19
  and
• 46:19
  we
• 46:20
  will
• 46:20
  see
• 46:20
  you
• 46:20
  back
• 46:20
  next
• 46:21
  week.