Latest / Leadership Hub / LeaderImpact Podcast - Ep. 111 - Trudy Pelletier - Families, Wealth, And The Conversations That Matter

Transcript

LeaderImpact Podcast - Ep. 111 - Trudy Pelletier - Families, Wealth, And The Conversations That Matter · Leadership Hub

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: We are a community of leaders with a network in over 350 cities around the world dedicated to optimizing our personal, professional, and spiritual lives to have impact.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: This show is where we have a chance to listen and engage with leaders who are living this out.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: We love talking with leaders, so if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions to make this show even better, please let us know.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: The best way to stay connected in Canada is through our newsletter at LeaderImpact.ca or on social at LeaderImpact.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're listening from outside of Canada, check out our website at LeaderImpact.com.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Lisa Peters, and our guest today is Trudy Peltier of the Family Stewardship Group.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: As families turn their attention to continuity, succession, and multi-generational planning, the relationships at the heart of making decisions and creating a shared future often grow more complex, even in strong, close families.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: The emotional, relational, and identity shifts that come with trans transition and wealth transfer are ones most families have had little preparation for.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Trudy guides families through planning with care, helping them clarify shared purpose, strengthen communication, and create clear ways to make decisions together across generations.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: As a neutral party, independent of any investment, insurance, or tax interest, she holds a safe, purposeful space where families can have the conversations that matter, restore and rebuild trust, preserving the relationships they value and protect the planning already underway alongside their trusted advisors.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Trudy's mission is to liberate and unify families in love and purpose, and her vision is a world in which we each, in which each person lives their personal potential realized.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Man, I'm struggling.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the show, Trudy.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I see I could have made that briefer and easier on you, Lisa.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: No, I have these, I'm aging and my contacts aren't reading.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: They're not reading anymore.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I should have glasses, by the way.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I can see you and you look lovely.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining me today.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you for having me be with you.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very excited having listened to some of your um, you know, previous podcasts when I was introduced to you.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I love what Leader Impact is up to.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you came highly recommended from Jerry, and it's like I picked up the phone right away.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm excited to get along with your own story and uh sort of how where you got today.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we we love hearing pivotal moments.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have something in your professional story of how where you got to today, and if there was a pivotal moment, we would love to hear it.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there's actually a couple, and uh, one is when I was 16 years old, a mentor of mine said, if you ever have a chance to take a Dale Carnegie course, do that.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: And being 16, I never asked what a Dale Carnegie course was.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was 23 years old, I opened the newspaper and there's an ad for a Dale Carnegie course.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I went and I took it.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that led me to a job in Calgary.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: And because I didn't know anybody, I became an assistant in the programs.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it was the second class where I turned to Peter Nakins, the sales manager, and I said, What do I have to do to come work for you guys?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: He took me for lunch the next day and hired me in a straight commission role, which caused a severe amount of panic and anxiety for my mom.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I always have had an entrepreneurial spirit, and the next significant moment was I was selling in oil and gas, and best boss I ever worked with, Steve, and we'd lost a significant bid.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know how I got through facilitating that boardroom conversation with all the executives about how we didn't get law, like how we lost the bid.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I sat back, Lisa, waiting for Steve to call me, say, hey, let's go for coffee.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know how you are.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: And he didn't.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I went out and I launched my first business called Simply More, which today is the Family Stewardship Group.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: And 17 years ago, I went to an event hosted by the Canadian Association of Family Enterprise.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know how I got on their list, I don't know why I registered.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: I say forces were at work.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: And there was a three-generation family talking about the complexities of working together.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then the elderly lady says, and now we're undergoing succession planning, and our conflict has gone from three to 130 and 30 seconds.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: My heart is pounding, and I'm completely enthralled in this world, knowing nothing about family enterprise.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I think to myself, that's what I've been put on the planet to do.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: So today I have privileged work to work with families in the family system primarily, where people love the most and are often most careless with the relationships.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: I am currently in that stage of um what because I, you know, I'm I'm getting strange where our the parents are dying.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And my mom is still alive, but watching other families and that argument and this and the breaking up of families.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm I'm not that I'm living this because I'm I'm watching them thinking I can do better, but you never know.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes you need someone like yourself to come in and you know give us that pivotal moment.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then there's, you know, I say emotions make smart people stupid.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: So whether that's emotions driven by a liquidity event or a high degree of wealth or um, you know, not being the named successor, there's a number of things within the family and then the larger enterprise that really can trigger emotions.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and when we're in reaction, there's no real communication.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I get to go and help support families.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I say the only requirement to work with me is a willingness to be in communication.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: You mentioned at the beginning about when the Dale Carnegie course and uh going then onto straight commission with with, I think, because you went on with Dale Carnegie.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Going on straight commission, um, you talked about anxiety.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I know moms.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, your mom's.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was worried that I left a salaried position.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Take a sales job, straight commission.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Did you not feel it?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, I was gonna I was gonna save the world with Dale Carnegie.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like who knew?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, I was gonna save the world.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I had, you know, I worked for them uh over a 13-year period, and I was a vocational trainer in their fundamental communication and leadership course as well as their sales course.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And um, Don and Faye Fisher at that time open um held the sponsorship for the prairies, and Faye was one of the top international trainers in Dale Carnegie.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I was under her tutelage, which again, when I look back inside of the preparation for me to do the work that I do today, um, I know that that was really um an important piece of being able to facilitate family conversations, to be able to hold space, be able to deal with human beings at a humanity level, not a personal level.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if anyone listening, if you ever get the opportunity to take a Dale Carnegie course, you heard it here.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Other than I don't know if they do classroom work anymore.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I can't imagine it online, but that's not my world anymore.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure they figured it out like everybody else.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um thank you for sharing that.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's uh just hearing and even a little bit about your mom.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: That was a good one.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we want to talk about your uh principle of success.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think we all have one or we have a few, but if you have one and if you have a story that illustrates it.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so you know, my primary value, and so therefore, my primary principle of success is integrity.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: And at a very base level, integrity means I honor my word.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: So a number of years ago, my boyfriend and I are driving to Whitecourt, where all my family is, and he's going to be meeting them for the first time.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's a five-hour drive.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: We're coming up to Red Dare and he says, Trudy, I have something I really need to tell you.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: He says, When I started my relationship with you, I was with someone else.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I pull over on the side of the road and I'm angry and I'm hurt, and I get out of the car and I'm talking to my coach, Karen, and I'm, you know, mad and yelling and screaming.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: I got it all out of my system.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: And she says, So, Trudy, you can stand in.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: He's telling me the truth now, or he lied to me.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Choose.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I got it.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I got in the car and I say to him, I forgive you.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in my work, the definition of forgive is I give up forever holding it against you that you hurt me.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Or I give up forever holding it against myself that I hurt another.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: And when I said that, I did not know if I was the kind of human being, the kind of woman that could actually be that big, that generous.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: And uh what I knew is it's now a function of integrity.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Can I honor my promise?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Honor my promise that I'll never let my head go there or my heart go there with hurt and resentment.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I've honored that word, and I know myself.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: I know my generosity or the greatness within simply for playing the game of integrity in that particular situation.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: And no one can take that away from me.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: So that would be a primary uh, you know, principle of success is pay attention to what you give your word to and then play the game to honor your word.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it will pull the giant within forward.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, gotta go back to Coach Karen.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like what you got on the phone, you called.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Who's Coach Karen?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, you know, throughout my business career, I've had three to five coaches at the time.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: This is what she said.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on the side of the road yelling and screaming and crying, and uh, you know, I'm wounded and I'm the victim.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: And she let me, she held space for me to get it all out, and then she's like, choose.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: He's telling you the truth now, or he lied to you.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Choose.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: That, you know, which leads to another principle because we all we don't we don't have necessarily a say on what comes at us in life, the circumstances we deal with.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: We do, however, always have a say in who we are being in the face of that at any given moment.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: And um uh so part of my work in with families is to help them exercise that choice that we can choose to be reactive or choose to be responsive and responsible.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: If if if I come to that moment of choosing, I hope I you know choose the choose to move forward.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then I, you know, have the integrity to stick with it.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Stay by my word.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's a um, it's tough.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and you know, I don't win all the moments.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I really, you know, inside of humanity, we don't win all the moments.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: And when we're playing the game to honor our word, I I think people discover their greatness.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I think you could have a million stories.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna continue on with failures and success because I I have feeling something's big coming up because you're already sharing so well.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I mean, just listening to you, you know, we learn more from our failures than our success or mistakes we made.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: We learn more because you know, I've said before, we win or we learn.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: We don't we don't lose.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm wondering if you have a story in which you can share something you you it was a mistake, it was a failure or a failing, and what you learned from it.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it was a lifetime ago that I gave up the language of failure and mistake.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: That life only provides feedback.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: So when I consider, you know, failure.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm three years in business for myself, and the one thing that I know that I know that I know is I can make anybody on their feet better than what they were.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so I was at the end of my financial investment.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I had remortgaged my house to launch my business.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: I had anchored uh my future success as an entrepreneur in the fact that I was a top salesperson at every organization I had worked with in oil and gas and Dale Carnegie and a couple of others.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And um there I was.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, well, first off, I'll back up.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm a year into my business, and I phoned Janice, who's a mentor of mine, and I said, Janice, I am losing because I'm not playing the sales game.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not doing the dials, I'm not.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: And what I was blindsided by is selling the Dale Carnegie course, which had been around for 115 years, versus selling Trudy as the design and developer of the content, completely different.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like it raised every insecurity in my unconscious and consciousness.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was so confronting how much I did not believe in myself.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, this three years, what I didn't know when I launched this public speaking service.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we designed a premier marketing campaign.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: I bought a list of 8,000 leaders in Calgary.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I had unconsciously decided that if this does not create a cash injection, I'm done.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna give up, I'm gonna walk away from my dreams, like I'm done.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: But that was unconscious.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: So the the email campaign goes out.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: I have 4,500 hits on my website in two days.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Remarkable results with only one lead.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I uh I was devastated, devastated for six weeks.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: I moped, I cried, I I uh like it was very difficult.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm out for lunch with um the gentleman who was my coach when I was getting my executive coaching designation.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: And Rick says to me, 4,500 hits on your website?
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: What's turning them away?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And in that moment, now there's something to learn.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: I can stop feeling sorry for myself.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: I've got focus, I've got energy, I've got attention.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: And um, in the next couple of days, there were certain names that were given to me of people that I needed to see and talk to.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: And some were very serendipitous.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I went in this learning mode and recreated my business with a niche.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, it was a failure in that I didn't get the results that I set out to get.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it was one of the most monumental learning experiences for me and my, you know, in my time as an entrepreneur.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't it crazy?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think if you would have, you know, you failed in that moment, you felt like a failure, you moped, you cried, you did your weak thing, um, and you're allowed that.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: We are all allowed that.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: But what if you wouldn't have talked about it?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: What if what if you would have not gone to a mentor, a friend, someone you surround yourself that loves you and can speak to you?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like if that wouldn't have happened, where would you be today?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that incredible?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think it would have because you know, it comes to then some of the faith around everything happens for a reason.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um like that is one of my primary faith-based beliefs that we are held, we are cared for, and you know, forces were at work that had me register for that event.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: There would have been something at work.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And in that day, it was Rick who said that that woke me up, gave me something to focus on.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I call that, you know, uh like a divinely guided conversation, a divinely guided um, you know, support.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: And we all have that.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we do.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think some we do it.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, we don't ask, we don't listen, we're too embarrassed, we're afraid, we've we've, you know, the the failure, we're too it's just an embarrassment, right?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to there's there's some there's things aligning for you.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's something moving in the background that that Rick's waiting to pop up to say, right?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, he was having lunch with a woman who was sobbing.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what else was the poor man?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when I look at it, how I was so vulnerable and transparent, you know, because I wear my heart on my sleeve.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so um, I mean, what else was yeah, he was the angel that day.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I had coffee this morning with an angel who I met a couple of weeks ago.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: And he's talking, well, do you know this family or do you know this family?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: And do you know this family?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: And like when I left that conversation with Gary, it's you know, I said, Gary, you feel like an angel to me today, that you are here to help me break through or have a breakthrough in my business.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: So again, it comes back to that faith-based.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm not saying it's never challenged, you know, but today it was very easy to see that, you know, he's my angel today.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think when you're always looking for it and you know that it's out there, you know, that's a good feeling to know, okay, I'm gonna get up and go out of the house today.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Don't feel like it, but I'm gonna go, you know, and to know that's something, something's out there.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: It may not, and it may not be today, might be tomorrow.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: But yes.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not on my timeline, on, you know, on that, yeah, exactly.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: My timeline.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: So um I know you've just been introduced to Leader Impact, and we're excited to have you.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um at Leader Impact, we want to go, we want to grow personally, professionally, and spiritually to increase impact.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it sounds like you are well on your way.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm wondering if you're willing to share an example where the spiritual has a practical difference in your life as a leader.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: So today I am far more disciplined in my spiritual practices than what I ever have been before.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: And um the reason that that discipline um is so easy to give myself to and to honor is because it's about two and a half years ago that my mom passed.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it was time I was her primary caregiver.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was my father's primary caregiver.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a mother, I'm running my business.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: And when I came home that July from Saskatchewan after her celebration of life, I realized how exhausted I was.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I was burning the candle, you know, at the 12 ends, never mind the two ends.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I surrendered in a way that I uh had not surrendered before.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: That my conversation was I'm not gonna work eight, 70 hours a week anymore.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna force, I'm not gonna push.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I've had days since then, aside from my meditation, my prayer time, my time in nature, that you know, the different pieces of that practice, that um I will ask, what's the one thing I am supposed to do today?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: And letting the one thing be enough.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: And Lisa, I am blown away.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, like I got a message a couple of weeks ago.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I know a gentleman in Vancouver who had a large liquidity event, and I just wanted to know what kind of preparation he and his family did for this large liquidity event.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd been thinking about calling him for a number of months and had just never done it.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, in my morning uh practice, it's like, what's the one thing to do today?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Call Mike.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: I dial him, like literally, I got up, I dial him, he says hello.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: And we've had a couple of really rich conversations to understand what kind of advice he got and what kind of advice perhaps was missing, so that I can speak into that.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: So that spiritual practice, that you know, reliance, asking and listening.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I don't necessarily win at that a hundred percent of the time, absolutely is creating a level of opportunity in my business that I've never had before.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna ask you, because I I I think I'm a little different, and I want people to know that we not not different, it's all the same.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when we pray, I'm listening to you, thinking, and when I hear you, you're closing your eyes and you're like, what do you want me to do?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're just you're listening, it's quiet and you're listening.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: For me, um I I have a very active brain.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I found that, and as I hold up my pen, my pen is writing, and and I just keep writing until I get like until I feel God speaking to me.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can't quiet my brain.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Are you are you like, do you quiet your brain and just listen and and I don't know, how did you do how do you do it?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: So some days are easier than others.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, for that.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: And like I didn't grow up in a faith-based home or a religious home.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I've I've I've described myself as always very spiritual, although in the last several years, like I talk about Jesus and God and its universal higher power, whatever it might be.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: I've got way more freedom and serenity about that.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, four or five months ago, like I went and got myself baptized.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that was spontaneous and that was inspired.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I think I'd been to this church like three times.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't even really know what it meant, other than when I saw them doing this.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: And my daughter was with me for the first time at this church, and she goes, You're gonna get baptized, aren't you?
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, I don't need to do that.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then sure enough, I was moved and I was like, so I'm surrendering to the guidance in ways that I hadn't before.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I do have the experience of being able to drop into a depth of stillness that whatever's going on can go on, and where my attention is is on the inside in the deep.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember reading, and I don't know from where, but one of the invitations was can you sit, you know, with the higher power within and ask nothing?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: So that actually began my practice.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: I just go and sit with the spirit within.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Some people may call it different things, um, and just sit there.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes my brain is going a thousand miles an hour and I stay the course, and sometimes it's deeply quiet, and I have what I would say is some very mystical experiences.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I get the writing.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: I get the right.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: I I also get journaling and writing.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're reminding me of the book called The Artist's Way.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: And and it's like get up and write pages in the morning.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter, just write till you're empty.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then and then there's room.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: I have that book.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't done it, but I do write till I'm empty.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I just feel like and all of a sudden something will I'll write something and go, really?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: Where did that come?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know where it came from.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: I just I just thank you.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I couldn't have thought of that myself.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, thank you for sharing such great stories.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm loving this.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I just got baptized a few months ago.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I love you.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I think what's interesting is people would and I've been going to the same church, so I'm 57, and I've been going to the same church 20 years.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was raised um in the church, but stepped away for 10, 15 years.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: And uh when I went to this church 20 years later, I decided to get baptized, and a lot of older couples came up to me and said, I thought you were baptized.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then they said, You've inspired me.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I like that it was an emotional moment to think that's why maybe I waited that long.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like just so I could, you know, I don't know.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I do the thing.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Be a gift to someone else, absolutely.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: Someone else.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and we want to be have lasting impact because that's what we're dedicated to at Leader Impact is having the lasting impact.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: So as you continue to move through your journey, and it sounds amazing, and I'm looking forward to even meeting you one day in Calgary.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Have you considered what you want your faith legacy to be when you leave this world?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Deep.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, have I considered it?
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, one, I work with families to create legacy, and it's interesting because the automatic paradigm way of thinking about legacy is external.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: What where can I be philanthropic and contribute?
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: And um in 17 years of working with families, every family I have worked with has had a family legacy of family unity or family harmony or family consensus decision making.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: So it's more of an internal legacy.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: So one, you know, when I when and so I want to make sure that you and I are talking about the same thing in terms of legacy, and then the other is faith for me is um uh like there's layers to it.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: And faith is of course honoring the higher power, the source of our life.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: It is also uh like every day I thank God for the gifts and the talent that I have.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: I am so blessed.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: And part of those were developed and born out of some family trauma.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, everything has a like has a reason, has a purpose.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, the faith legacy is um like developing all the gifts and talents that I that I've been blessed with to be of service.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: To um, you know, I I have a high energy.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: I I say people don't see me, they feel me.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: I have a, you know, like a deep, deep care for humanity.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that shows up in a Safeway lineup equal to in service to family, like everywhere.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so that's part of the legacy is is there someone today that I can make their world better?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: Whether that lasts with them for any length of time or not, not my business.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I do do privileged work.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, the faith legacy is causing healing where there was resentment, causing communication where there was fracture, um, you know, doing the deep work of accepting, leaving people seen, heard, understood, and valued.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: So those are all aspects of the faith legacy, and it's a lived experience now.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't only when I'm transitioning to, you know, to go home.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because when when you're gone, you're gone.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that you said you show up every day, every moment you show up because that's what it's a, as you said, um, it's a gift.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: You you have you've been provided some talents and you're gifting them to others.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's not, if that's not the most beautiful thing, you know, it is really, yeah.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: Showing up every day is our legacy.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, when I do have moments where I'm gripped by my humanity and I'm not my best self and I'm not the light in the world that, you know, I intend to be, I'll go clean up that mud pie.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'll go apologize, I'll go get interested.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because uh one of my core philosophies is go first.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: So everything that I coach and teach and develop families to do to liber to be liberated and unified in love and purpose, I go first.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: And um so yeah, when I when I've been gripped or in reaction and made up made a mud pie, and that's what I call them, right?
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Caused upset, I got no problem going and cleaning it up.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: And my last question for you is what brings you the greatest joy?
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well you know, to serve like I have witnessed a remarkable courage and remarkable forgiveness and you know, families reconnecting in love and affinity.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was in Toronto in January with a family, and one of the family members said, This is the first time in 20 years we've been honest with each other.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: So all of those are elements of serving.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: So that brings me the greatest joy.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that said, I know that my children who are adult, adult children, their sense of well-being and success adds to my joy.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: They are fine human beings, they are well equipped to, you know, live a great life.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: That brings me joy.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: So again, it's not any one thing.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: And um connecting with people on a deeper level, uh like being a space for communication, that brings me joy.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's privilege.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, hard to hear.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: You you use the word the you use the word privileged, and that you are you're just privileged to do what you do.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that it's almost an honor to hear that because it's it's just passion that comes through with that.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I gotta rewrite my little thing upstairs and use the word, we are I am privileged to to to be here today to hear you.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like you hear stories, you get a you get a glimpse of people's journeys.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, I can see that it is a privilege for you.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: And um yeah, I mean, how many of us actually get to live that life of privilege?
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I I would say that's more the rare experience than not.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Trudy, I want to thank you for just spending the last, I don't know, half hour with me.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how long it's been.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: I could have lost track of time.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um you are.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm worried we did.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: You are on fire, and I just love spending the time here.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if other people are listening and they want to engage with you, what's the best way to find you?
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: My website is the family stewardshipgroup.com.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's the easiest way.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: All my contact information is on there.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to thank you for joining us.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, I hope people reach out and you never know, I might I might be one of them.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for joining us today.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd love to see you when you're in Calgary next.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: So please, let's stay in touch.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: You got it.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to thank everyone else for joining us here today.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you're part of Leader Impact, you can always discuss or share this podcast with your group.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not yet part of Leader Impact and would like to find out more and grow your leadership, find our podcast page on our website, leaderimpact.ca, and check out our free leadership assessment.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: You can also check out groups available in Canada at LeaderImpact.ca.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you're listening from anywhere else in the world, check out LeaderImpact.com or get in touch with us by email.
• 33:04
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• 33:08
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• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: This will help other global leaders find our podcast.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for engaging with us.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, impact starts with you.