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24: How to Stop Being Snooty · Finding God at Work

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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This is Finding God at Work.
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Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
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isn't just a podcast, it's also an online
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course.
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Check it out at findinggodatwork.org.
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Our current series is Meaningful Work, Calling, Formation,
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Service, and Love.
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Have you ever interacted with someone who was
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just a little bit snooty towards you?
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This happened to me once.
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Katie and I got married very young, and
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I proposed to her during our freshman year
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of college.
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In hindsight, now that I'm in my 30s,
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I look at freshmen in college that I
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know, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that
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was so young.
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But at the time, I felt on top
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of things.
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I felt competent.
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I knew I wanted to marry this woman.
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And that was right.
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I'm really glad I married Katie.
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That was a good call.
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But we were very, very young.
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And I had a meeting with a financial
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aid counselor at my college as we were
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preparing to get married, because your financial aid
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status can change when you're married.
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And I could just tell, this person was
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not all about the idea of me getting
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married so young.
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They didn't come out and say anything.
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We could just kind of tell in their
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manner.
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They were a little snooty.
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You know, they were a little judgmental.
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Like, eh, yeah, he's a little kid, thinks
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he's getting married, making stupid decisions, financial aid
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things, yada, yada, yada.
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And there's so many different ways that people
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can communicate this, right?
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It's in their tone of voice.
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It's in their body language.
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I've read many accounts and sometimes heard from
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friends and acquaintances that this can be racialized.
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I've never experienced that.
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But I have others who have talked about
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driving while Black, getting pulled over for no
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good reason, just because they happen to be
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Black seems to be the reason that the
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officer decided to pull them over.
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Or when they're in a store, kind of
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being eyed in a certain way by the
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clerks and the staff at the store, as
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though they're somehow perceived as a threat.
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I can just imagine how emotionally difficult and
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distasteful and disgusting it must be for someone
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to just treat you, just because you're you,
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as though you're less than.
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If you've ever experienced that, it just, ugh,
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whether it's racialized or not, being treated as
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less than just feels awful.
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It's terrible for somebody to think they're better
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than you.
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And yet, and yet, I also know the
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flip side of that, which is I can
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be snooty towards other people.
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And this has come home to me in
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a new way recently, working through some conflicts
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with some important people in my life, realizing
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like, wow, I sometimes put my foot in
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it.
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I sometimes not just say the wrong thing,
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but as Jesus said, out of the overflow
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of the heart, the mouth speaks.
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Sometimes I really have nurtured a snooty attitude
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towards certain people.
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And so that's something I've got to work
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on.
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I've got to repent of.
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And as we're talking about a formation in
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the workplace and the role of humility in
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several recent episodes, I thought it might be
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helpful to look at humility specifically.
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And what can we practically do to kind
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of break the snootiness in our own hearts?
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How can we participate in what the Holy
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Spirit is doing?
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My dad used to tell this joke that
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he had a friend who wrote a book
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called Humility and How I Achieved It.
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And the irony of the joke is that
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if you're humble, you wouldn't be saying that
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you're humble.
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There's this kind of paradoxical quality to humility
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that you can't pursue it directly.
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So I want to look at a couple
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ideas around that.
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One comes from Timothy Keller.
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So this is from an article he wrote
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way back in 2008.
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But he's talking about this kind of paradoxical
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quality of humility.
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Keller writes, We are on slippery ground because
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humility cannot be attained directly.
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Once we become aware of the poison of
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pride, we begin to notice it all around
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us.
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We hear it in the sarcastic, snarky voices
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in newspaper columns and weblogs.
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We see it in civic, cultural, and business
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leaders who never admit weaknesses or failure.
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We see it in our neighbors and some
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friends with their jealousy, self-pity, and boasting.
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And so we vow not to talk or
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act like that.
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If we then notice a humble turn of
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mind in ourselves, we immediately become smug.
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But that is pride in our humility.
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If we catch ourselves doing that, we will
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be particularly impressed with how nuanced and subtle
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we have become.
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Humility is so shy.
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If you begin talking about it, it leaves.
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To even ask the question, am I humble,
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is not to be so.
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Examining your own heart, even for pride, often
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leads to being proud about your diligence and
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circumspection.
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This is so true, right?
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If you're just focused on your own self,
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even in your attempts to repent of pride,
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you can start getting proud of your repentance.
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You can start getting proud of your humility.
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So what are we supposed to do?
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What are we supposed to do?
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Well, I want to turn to a passage
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where this seems to be at play in
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Jesus' relationship with his disciples.
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So this comes from the Gospel of Mark,
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chapter 10.
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And a couple of Jesus' disciples, James and
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John, were brothers.
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And they're being a little snooty in this
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passage.
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They're being a little snooty toward the other
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disciples.
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So here's how it goes, starting in verse
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35.
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And James and John, the sons of Zebedee,
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came up to him and said to him,
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Teacher, we want you to do for us
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whatever we ask of you.
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And Jesus said to them, what do you
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want me to do for you?
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And they said to him, grant us to
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sit one at your right hand and one
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at your left in your glory.
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Jesus said to them, you do not know
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what you are asking.
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Are you able to drink the cup that
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I drink or to be baptized with the
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baptism with which I am baptized?
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And they said to him, we are able.
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And Jesus said to them, the cup that
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I drink, you will drink.
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And with the baptism with which I am
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baptized, you will be baptized.
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But to sit at my right hand or
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at my left is not mine to grant,
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but it is for those for whom it
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has been prepared.
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And when the other 10 disciples heard it,
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they began to be indignant at James and
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John.
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And Jesus called them to him and said
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to them, You know that those who are
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considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over
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them, and their great ones exercise authority over
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them, but it shall not be so among
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you.
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But whoever would be great among you must
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be your servant, and whoever would be first
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among you must be slave of all.
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For even the Son of Man came not
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to be served, but to serve, and to
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give his life as a ransom for many.
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Okay, we don't have time to even unwrap
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that full passage.
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It's such a rich teaching from Jesus.
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And there's this humor in this passage, right?
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James and John come to Jesus, and what's
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their request?
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They kind of hedge.
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They don't want to say what it is
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at first.
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They're just like, will you do a favor
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for us no matter what it is?
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And Jesus is like, well, what's the favor?
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What do you want me to do for
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you?
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And then they're like, we want to be
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in spots one and two in your kingdom.
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We want to be, you know, silver and
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bronze medalist alongside gold medalist Jesus.
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All right, what an audacious request.
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How full of themselves can these guys be?
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And Jesus knows that to follow him is
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to embrace a life of suffering, a life
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of servanthood, a life of humility.
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And so he asks them, well, he tells
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them, you don't know what you're saying.
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And he asks them, can you really follow
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me?
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Can you use this metaphor of baptism?
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Will you be baptized with my kind of
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baptism?
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And they're just like, yeah, we can.
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And they have no idea what they're saying.
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And Jesus is like, well, you will.
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Jesus knows their future.
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Jesus knows that, thank God, James and John
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will go through this crucible of humility, like
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all of his disciples.
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But he says, look, the whole first and
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second places spots, that's not, yeah, no deal.
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And the other disciples, of course, react the
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way any of us would react with somebody
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who clearly thinks they're better than us, right?
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Like James and John, what do you think
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you're doing?
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Right, why are you so sweet?
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Why do you think you deserve those spots
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rather than us?
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There's just this kind of competitive spirit that
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they've fallen into.
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And I fall into this kind of competitive
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spirit all the time.
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I find myself mentally comparing myself to others
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and thinking, oh, I could do that job
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better.
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And it's like, well, what is that about?
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What is that about?
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It's not about what the Lord wants for
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us.
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So then Jesus, and this is the part
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of the passage I want to focus on,
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then Jesus gives them a different way.
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And he says that, you know, this is
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normal human interaction.
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This is how the Gentiles do it.
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People are snooty towards each other.
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People lord their authority over each other.
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But he says, but whoever would be great
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among you must be your servant.
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And whoever would be first among you must
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be slave of all.
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So Jesus says, if you really want greatness,
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the way to greatness is through service.
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Okay.
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Now, that itself could be twisted.
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The idea that you can achieve greatness through
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service, that could still somehow become warped.
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Just like Timothy Keller said, you start pursuing
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humility, you get proud of your humility.
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You can start pursuing service in order to
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become great and get proud of your service,
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right?
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But as we think about our workplaces and
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our practical opportunities to grow, to be formed
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in a deeper Christ-like character, including humility,
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I do think that service is one of
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the most practical things we can do, if
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we do it in the right spirit.
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So I want to turn to another great
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thinker, Richard Foster, who I think shows us
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how to serve in the way that Jesus
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is really talking about, how to truly adopt
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a spirit of Christ-like service that cuts
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against that snootiness and that pride that's in
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our heart.
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And there's a couple of different ways that
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we can do this.
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We can kind of nuance what kind of
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service is really helpful.
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But I want to read from Richard Foster's
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classic Celebration of Discipline, which we've cited several
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times before in other episodes and series.
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And he talks about the relationship between service
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and humility.
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Foster writes, More than any other single way,
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the grace of humility is worked into our
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lives through the discipline of service.
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Humility, as we all know, is one of
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those virtues that is never granted by seeking
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it.
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The more we pursue it, the more distant
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it becomes.
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To think we have it is sure evidence
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that we don't.
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Therefore, most of us assume there is nothing
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we can do to gain this prized Christian
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virtue.
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And so we do nothing.
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But there is something we can do.
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We do not need to go through life
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faintly hoping that someday humility may fall upon
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our heads.
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Of all the classical spiritual disciplines, service is
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the most conducive to the growth of humility.
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When we set out on a consciously chosen
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course of action that accents the good of
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others and is for the most part a
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hidden work, a deep change occurs in our
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spirits.
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Nothing disciplines the inordinate desires of the flesh
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like service.
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And nothing transforms the desires of the flesh
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like serving in hiddenness.
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The flesh whines against service but screams against
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hidden service.
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It strains and pulls for honor and recognition.
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It will devise subtle, religiously acceptable means to
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call attention to the service rendered.
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If we stoutly refuse to give in to
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this lust of the flesh, we crucify it.
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Every time we crucify the flesh, we crucify
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our pride and arrogance.
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Okay, so you get what Richard Foster is
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saying?
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He's talking about how it's so easy to
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even in this language of service or this
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idea of service still actually indulge the flesh.
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And again, just that idea of the flesh
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is like the part of our personality that
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has not been redeemed by God through Jesus
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Christ.
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The kind of embodied habits of sin that
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are still there in our person, still getting
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worked out by God's grace over time.
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And Richard Foster says that that flesh, that
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flesh that needs to be crucified, it hates
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it when we have to serve.
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And it hates it even more when we
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serve and don't get any credit for it.
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And so this is the thing about service.
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The way that service gets warped is when
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we serve in order to get accolades.
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We serve in order to get a reputation.
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We serve in order for people to think
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about us a certain way.
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That's actually just inflating that balloon of the
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false self again.
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So the key, the practical way to keep
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service Christ-like, as Jesus said, if you
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want to be great, you've got to be
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a servant.
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If you want to be first, you've got
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to be slave of all.
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The real way to do that is to
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serve in hidden ways.
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This is sometimes called the discipline of secrecy.
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So I challenge you to think about this
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creatively in your own workplace.
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What are ways that you can serve other
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people with an eye to their real needs
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and to the mission of your organization that
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you will get zero credit for?
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And this is really turning general wisdom on
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its head, right?
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Sometimes people emphasize, if you do something at
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work, make sure you toot your own horn
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about it or else you won't get credit
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for it.
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You won't be perceived as actually having done
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it.
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Make sure that you keep a record of
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it so you can talk about it at
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your annual review and get a raise.
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And some of that is legitimate, right?
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We need to advocate for ourselves.
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It is appropriate for our bosses and those
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who make decisions about our remuneration to know
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about the value that we're bringing to the
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enterprise.
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That's all okay.
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But it doesn't mean that there isn't opportunity
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to do things in a hidden way, to
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do secret acts of service just for the
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sake of loving other people, not for any
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benefit that would run down to you through
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your reputation or in any other way.
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So a couple ideas here.
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One is to look for menial tasks and
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do them when no one is looking.
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So there's a break room at my office,
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right?
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And the break room sometimes gets messy.
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And it's nobody's particular job to clean up
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the break room.
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And because of that, I never clean up
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the break room.
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I hope that somebody else will do it.
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And yet somehow it ends up being cleaned.
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I must have some coworker who goes in
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there and cleans it just to make sure
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that it's clean.
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Maybe that's an opportunity for me.
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Is there something like that in your workplace
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where you could go in, clean something up
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when no one's looking just because it needs
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to be done without resentment, just as a
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gift, without looking for credit?
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Could God use that to form humility in
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your heart?
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So that's one thing, looking for a menial
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task.
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And then another idea is to think about
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how you can get credit for something and
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abstain.
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So, for example, one way that we get
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credit for things is social media, right?
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So maybe you achieved something really meaningful and
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you want to share it with other people.
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So you share a post on it on
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LinkedIn or maybe even on a more personal
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social media platform.
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And again, there can be appropriate ways for
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that.
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But think about, okay, what would it be
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like for me to achieve something really significant
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and then abstain from posting, to just let
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it go?
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Nobody needs to know that I did that
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cool thing.
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Oh.
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Huh.
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So those are kind of two ways to
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think about exercising service in hiddenness.
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One, engage, do the menial task when no
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one's looking just so that it can be
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done.
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And then the other is a way to
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abstain.
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Don't take credit for something that you did,
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even if it was really cool and was
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a really cool achievement.
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And as we engage this discipline of service
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over time, God can crucify our flesh.
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He can get the snootiness out of us
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and make us people who are more humble.
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The final thing that Jesus said in that
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passage was, for even the Son of Man
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came not to be served, but to serve
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and to give his life as a ransom
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for many.
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The real beauty of humility is that we
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become more like Jesus when we practice it.
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Jesus is the one who was never snooty
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towards anyone, who was never motivated by reputation,
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who was just willing to do whatever it
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took to love other people.
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He came to serve and he wants to
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give us hearts like his, so that we
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just serve with gladness and joy without looking
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for reward all the days of our lives.
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Lord Jesus, thank you that you are truly
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humble.
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Make us more like you.
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Show us how to collaborate with your Holy
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Spirit by serving in the right way, in
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the right spirit, even when we don't get
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any applause for it.
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Give us that courage for secrecy and hiddenness
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and really loving others.
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Jesus, do your work in us as we
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do our work with you.
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Amen.
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Thanks for listening.
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16:42
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