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Sober Talk SA - Dot_2 · Sober Talk SA

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  Welcome to sober talk. I'm Dennis and I have lived
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  experience of alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
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  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
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  1300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
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  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
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  strengthen up with each other. They must solve their come
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  problems and help with us to recoup from alcoholism.
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  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
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  drinking. There are no Jews at fees for a
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  membership. We are self support through our
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  own contributions. A is not allied with any SEC
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  denomination, politics, organization or institution.
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  Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses or
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  oppose any causes. Our primary pairs is still sober
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  now, but other Alcoholics achieve sobriety.
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  Hi, I'm an alcoholic, my name is Dodge and I'm sober today and
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  that's thanks to the power of God and the fellowship of A A.
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  I always like to acknowledge that because I know that I would
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  not have got sober by myself. I needed the help of both my
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  higher power and the fellowship. I was born in 1941.
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  That makes me a a poor baby. So I was brought up by my father
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  who was in the army and my mother who was a very sick lady.
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  She had TB and died when I was 7 and I, my father remarried very
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  quickly because he couldn't raise 4 hints by himself.
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  And that's that's where I believe that my life has been a
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  series of crossroads. We take it to a fork in the road
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  and we decide whether we're going to go left or right.
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  And I know that many times in my life I've been to crossroads and
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  made the wrong decisions. The first decision I think I
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  made was when I married the 1st man that came along because I I
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  was not happy at home. I was just felt unloved and
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  unwanted. And my father was very strict
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  and of course, he didn't. He's cut off human contact with
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  me when my mother died. And I found out later that it
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  was probably because he saw too much of me and in my mother.
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  So Palin, I actually applied to join the Navy when I was 19 and
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  I was going to, I was just was accepted and ready for a call
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  up. And I met this noon and he he
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  cried and told me he didn't want me to go away and he wanted to
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  marry me. And of course I made the
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  decision to stay even though I knew he was an alcoholic, but I
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  didn't know he was an alcoholic. I knew he drank too much.
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  But I thought I was very young, innocent, naive.
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  I thought, well, things would change when we get married and
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  when we have kids. And, you know, he might drink as
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  much. But of course he didn't.
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  But I did, and I took my first. Well, I took my first drink not
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  long after I married. I drank alcoholically straight
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  from that first drink. I drank a whole bottle of tea
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  and Maria and I hated the stuff and I hated the taste in the
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  smell of alcohol. All my life, every day I drank,
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  I would have to hold my nose to have that put that first streak
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  down my neck. And I could not understand why I
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  drank when I when I didn't even like the stuff.
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  I didn't know about the obsession.
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  You know, it's a physical compulsion and a mental
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  obsession. I've been told in AA and that
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  was me. I got obsessed with this drink.
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  And then there was another crossroad.
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  When my first born child, I had four kids, all the men in five
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  years. The first born was killed and I
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  didn't know how to handle grief. I couldn't handle my grief.
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  I ran away from grief. And my way I ran away was to
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  take myself and my family up north to a salt mine.
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  We lived in a caravan on this salt mine and it was very half
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  difficult with three little ones.
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  So no, that was a good excuse for me to drink.
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  You know, I, I chose to go there because it was an alcoholic's
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  paradise. I couldn't drink in front of my
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  family. I was ashamed to, to see.
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  I'd always tried not to let my father see me drink.
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  So I chose to go up there and I drank with the men because the
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  men drank faster than me, or so I suppose.
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  I was able to point the finger at them and say they're the
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  alcoholic, not me. But I've actually got to the
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  stage where I was drinking more than them.
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  I was worse than them. They would they would not turn
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  up to work the next day, and I did.
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  But I was very, very sick. My cure for hangovers was have
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  another drink, you know, And so I, I eventually got to the stage
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  where I was drinking 24 hours a day.
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  I don't mean I was drinking every minute of that day, but I
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  was not always drinking all the other day.
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  And I, I never went to sleep. I just passed out.
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  I had bruises all over my arms from bouncing off the passage
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  wall. And then people had asked me
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  what you know, why you been bruised, you know, had your
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  husband been beating up? I said, Oh no, no, no, I'm fine
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  that clue. But it wasn't fine and I knew
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  it. I knew after, oh, 20 odd years
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  of drinking that I wasn't fine. And I went, I went to my doctor
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  one day and I was looking for answers.
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  I had a lot of physical problems.
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  And this day he turned his back on me and washed his hands.
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  And I took that literally. I thought he's washing his hands
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  of me, he's had enough of me because he said he couldn't help
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  me anymore. And I went home that day and I
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  made a decision, a new crossroad.
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  I decided that I would stop drinking low enough to get well
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  physically. I wasn't going to end up
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  drinking. You know that That didn't enter
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  my head. All I wanted to do was get well
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  enough to be able to drink again.
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  But then there was a miracle happened.
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  The miracle happened when after about six weeks of drink of not
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  drinking, my head started to clear and I liked what was
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  happening to me and I wanted more.
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  And what I decided was I need help to do this.
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  I can't do this by myself. I've done it for six weeks but I
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  know that I'm going to give in and pick up another drink.
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  And the next thing that came into my hip was I'd rather find
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  this thing called AA. And I'd I'd heard, not heard
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  about it, but I've read and seen it and, and mentions of AA in TV
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  shows and movies. I was working as a
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  projectionist, so I showed a lot of movies and saw a lot of
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  drinking stories. And I thought, I've got to find
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  this thing called AAI. Didn't even know it been
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  Alcoholics Anonymous. I didn't know how to look it up
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  in the phone book. My hip was that adult.
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  I couldn't figure out how to contact AA, but the next miracle
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  happened again. I I believe that my recovery was
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  a course of little miracles and I didn't recognize these
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  miracles at the time. I didn't didn't register these
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  miracles until years later when I went through my my story.
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  And but what happened was I thought, well, I've got to find
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  AA and I don't know how. And while I was still pondering
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  on this, I got an visit from my local pastor.
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  And my local pastor used to come and visit me regularly, even
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  though I didn't go to church that often.
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  When I'd went to church, I'd sneak in when, when you know,
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  there was nobody there because in this town that we finished up
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  in in another mining town, this one was an iron ore mining town
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  and we got a house to go with it, which was a a great relief
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  for us. And I'd, I'd sit at the back of
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  the church and try and find this power, my heart, God, that I
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  couldn't understand and I couldn't put my faith in it.
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  I believe there was something there, but I couldn't put faith
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  in it. And I'd sit there and maybe the
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  priest found out that I was doing this, but he used to come
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  and visit me on a regular basis and I told him about my
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  alcoholic husband and told him what I rather than, you know,
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  how he neglected me. He was spending all his time in
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  the pub and locked with me and, yeah, undrained him and my boss
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  and everybody else for my drinking, wouldn't take
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  responsibility for myself. And he came rushing in the door
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  this day and said a a not a a AL Anon is coming to town tonight.
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  They're having a meeting. Would you like to go?
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  And I SA told him I said, well, I can't go because I'm working
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  tonight, but I need a a So he was the first person that I
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  admitted that that I was an alcoholic too.
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  And he offered to bring the lady and, and the man that was from
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  AA to my house and tell me about AA and Al Anon And they told me
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  I needed both. And I thought, well, no harm
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  done. And they came around to my house
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  and they told me I needed both fellowships and if I needed,
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  needed that, and if I'd wanted I, I'd have to travel across to
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  their town, which was 300 kilometers away.
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  It took me a week to get up the courage to go, but I'm glad I
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  got there because when I walked into that first meeting, I felt
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  at home. I, I recognized that, that these
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  people, I, I understood them, even though they talked a
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  strange language or it seems strange to me that I understood.
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  And they told me that I wasn't alone and they knew and they
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  understood and cared and I, I was given help and that help was
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  the best thing that I got accepted.
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  And the other thing they told me was I had a disease, a disease
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  called alkalism. And, and I thought, thank God, I
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  thought I was insane. My excuse for drinking was I was
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  insane and I was frightening being locked up because of this
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  insanity. So I thought, I'll take the
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  alcoholism. That's a that's a safer disease
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  and insanity because I won't get locked up with the the alkalism,
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  but I would have been locked up with insanity.
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  So I grabbed this program with both hands and I told myself
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  that I have to get sober no matter what looks I go to get
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  it. I accepted wholeheartedly that I
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  was addicted to alcohol and my life was unleashable and I had
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  to find a higher power. Finding a higher power was not
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  so simple. I was taught to say please in
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  the morning and thank you at night and I get it back to front
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  and say thank you in the morning and please at night.
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  But my God understood my language and I just accepted
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  that I had to to do what they told me to do.
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  They told me to to turn my will of my life over to a high power
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  whether I understood it or not. And I I kept doing it.
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  Every morning before I got out of bed, I would, I found out the
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  hard way that if I'd jumped out of bed before I did that, I
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  would finish up forgetting to talk to my higher power.
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  So I'd taught myself to talk to my higher power before I got out
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  of bed. But it took me 3 years to really
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  put my faith in a higher power because I was impatient.
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  Yeah, I talk to my higher power and tell him what I what I
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  needed and I never didn't get any answers.
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  And I get impatient and say, oh God, you're too slow.
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  I'll tell I'm taking over. And I did that for three years.
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  I just played a seesaw game with my higher power.
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  I hand over and take back, hand over, take back.
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  And I would take back over and over again every day until I've
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  only got to the stage in three years and took me in three years
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  to do my full step. You know, a lot of things
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  happened in my three years. I, I separated from my husband,
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  even though he went to rehab as and I resented the fact that he
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  went to rehab and I didn't. I got sober at home and but he
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  never accepted a A so he didn't change.
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  But I was slowly changing and after three years I decided that
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  I had to separate and I didn't do it the easy way.
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  I travelled all the way to Cairns where I knew nobody and
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  that's when I that was in a lot of physical and mental pain
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  because I couldn't get a job and the people in the fellowship
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  thought I was crazy and I really was crazy and I was in so much
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  pain. One day I just fell on the beach
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  and said I give up, I surrender, I give in.
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  And that's when things started to change for me.
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  That's when I finally put my faith completely in my life, in
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  the pants in my life power. You know, this program, it's the
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  best program that's ever been invented.
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  You know, it's a good fellowship because it it it's got bombed
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  answers for all the answers. But you know, I found out the
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  hard way that, you know, if I want what the older so the
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  members have, I had to do the work, do what they did, you
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  know, so I found out that I had to put my work into the program,
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  put put my work into the steps. And in that way I I say when I
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  prayed for help, God gave me a shovel.
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  He didn't hand it to me wholeheartedly.
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  I had to do the work. I had to do the steps.
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  I had to do them thoroughly because I didn't want half
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  measures, it says in the big book.
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  Half measures, the veil us nothing.
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  So I decided I was going to do the program wholeheartedly, and
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  I'd still do that today. I'd I'd still tell you my
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  prayers every morning. I'd still read my inspirations,
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  I'd still pick up the phone and talk to another member and I'd
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  still go to meetings when I can. This, this program is just, I
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  look at my track. My sobriety is a gift for my
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  God. And what do I do with a gift?
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  You take care of it, you look after it and you put, you know,
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  you hold its pulse. And that's, that keeps me sober.
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  You know, I have a fear of picking up a drink.
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  It's a healthy fear and that keeps me sober.
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  I respect the the fact that I do have a disease and I'll have to
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  treat it every day, every single day because it's still there.
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  I call it the monkey on my shoulder.
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  Yeah, it's still staying asleep on my shoulder.
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  And I like the the interpretation that I have a
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  thick brain. It's a chemical that Alcoholics
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  have that other people don't have and that he would call.
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  It's called THIQ. It's a long name, but it starts
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  with THIQ. And, and I, I call him the
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  monkey on my shoulder. And that monkey is asleep today
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  because I haven't had a drink. But if I take 1 drink, it wakes
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  that monkey up and that monkey will slip up into my shirt, my
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  ear and say see you're OK. You can have one drink, one
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  drink's not going to hurt, but one drink.
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  I've never had one drink, but when I have one drink, it starts
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  off that compulsion that doesn't stop it voice in my head.
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  It says give me, give me, give me, give me more.
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  And I can't stop it. So, you know, means that I
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  cannot pick up one drink one day at a time.
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  And I anybody can stop drinking just for one day.
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  All we do is just don't pick up a drink one day at a time.
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  And and over time, those one day string together week, month,
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  years. And yeah, it's just such a good
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  gift that I have to to keep this gift.
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  I have to give it away. And the way I give it away is to
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  go to meetings. I can't give it away if I sit
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  home by myself and think, oh, I'm OK.
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  But in the rest of the world, my, my obligation is to pass
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  this on and give it to lamas because there's so many people
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  around that just don't get it, you know?
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  And that's another reason why I look after my sobriety, because
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  if I throw this away and this precious gift that I was given,
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  God may not decide to give it back to me.
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  He'll say, oh, you, you had your chance.
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  You know, you did OK, you had your chance, you did well, but
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  you threw it away. There must be, there's got to be
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  somebody out there that needs more than you do.
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  And that's why I don't pick up that drink because I know that
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  it's important to me to stay sober because I've got family
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  about me and, and I have friends.
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  I have two families. I've got one physical family.
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  My children, my grandchildren, my great grandchildren, they're
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  all precious to me. But my second family is just as
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  precious. They are the members of a, a
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  Yeah. And we, ha, we are a family.
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  We are a group. They support each other and look
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  after each other and take care of each other.
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  And that's what the fellowship is about.
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  You can't find another fellowship like this.
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  It's just a beautiful fellowship and it just so sick and poor.
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  You know, I, I, if I had any other disease like cancer or
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  something, I'd have to take nasty medicines and now all that
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  kind of stuff. But all I have to do is just
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  don't pick up a drink of alcohol.
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  I can drink anything else. I can drink a lolly water.
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  I can drink water, everything else, as long as it doesn't have
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  alcohol in it. Yeah, it's simple.
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  It's a simple program designed for complicated people.
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  And I complicated this program right from the start.
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  I turned it inside out, upside down to prove it wouldn't work
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  for me. I couldn't see that something so
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  simple would work. So I had to learn not to to be
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  so intelligent. That's they say that you can be
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  too smart to get this program, but you can't be too dumb.
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  Yeah. So I had to be dumb and just
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  accept. Accept is the the key.
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  Acceptance is the key to this program.
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  You know, just take it as it is and and just keep going and keep
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  coming back. Thank you.
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  We have local meetings for the full week in the local area.
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  Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00, Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00,
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  Wednesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at
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  8:00 and Friday is Salisbury at 8:00.
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  There's a meeting at Devron Park at 12:00 and on Sunday there's a
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  meeting in Salisbury at 7:00 and many of the meetings in the
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  area. For details of your local
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  meetings, please phone 1300 double 22222.
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  And once again, if anyone you know is struggling with alcohol
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  issues, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double 22222.
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  The website isaasa.org dot AU.