Latest / STOPTIME: Live in the Moment. / The Power of Possibility: A Creative Conversation with Lisa Hopkins

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The Power of Possibility: A Creative Conversation with Lisa Hopkins · STOPTIME: Live in the Moment.

0:23
Lisa Hopkins: Hey there.
0:24
Lisa Hopkins: Earlier this year, I had the honor of joining Mandy Rose on her inspiring podcast, soulbound Studios.
0:32
Lisa Hopkins: We dove deep into the power of creativity, the importance of mindset and how to embrace life's possibilities.
0:39
Lisa Hopkins: It was really a meaningful conversation and it's always fun to be the guest rather than the host always fun to be the guest rather than the host so I'm thrilled to share it with you here and I hope that you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed speaking with Mandy.
1:00
Mandi Rose: And welcome to another episode of the Soulbound Studios podcast.
1:02
Mandi Rose: I am so excited for you guys to meet my new friend, lisa.
1:03
Mandi Rose: She and I have just been vibing this morning and we are sharing this love for creating a life of our own design, and she has so much to share with you guys.
1:09
Mandi Rose: I'm really excited for you to meet her.
1:10
Mandi Rose: So, lisa, go ahead and introduce yourself.
1:13
Lisa Hopkins: All right.
1:13
Lisa Hopkins: So Mandy told me that I'd be introducing myself like two seconds ago.
1:17
Mandi Rose: Oh sorry.
1:18
Lisa Hopkins: No, no, no, it's all good and it's you know.
1:21
Lisa Hopkins: I invite all of you guys to get to know me as we speak.
1:25
Mandi Rose: You know, lisa, you give me Liz Gilbert vibes I love and that's a huge compliment in my world, she is my favorite favorite author and I just think that she is the most beautiful spirit and energy and I'm just catching a lot of that same energy from you and so that's a beautiful compliment in my world, Like I think it's the highest compliment I could probably give someone.
1:50
Lisa Hopkins: We were just saying.
1:50
Lisa Hopkins: I was just saying to you that I've just released my first book, so that makes that compliment even more massive and I really appreciate that.
1:59
Mandi Rose: Yeah, so while we're here, let's just talk about your book.
2:02
Mandi Rose: Tell me about your book and what it's about and how you got the inspiration for it.
2:06
Mandi Rose: Yeah, let's dive into it.
2:10
Lisa Hopkins: So the title of the book is the Places when there Are Spaces Cultivating a Life of Creative Possibilities.
2:16
Lisa Hopkins: I think it's been in me all along in a way, had I not gone into dance, I wanted to go into journalism, I wanted to be a writer and all of these things, and so I don't know about probably a good four years ago, I came up with the title and I just said one day I'm going to write a book and it's going to be called the Places when there Are Spaces.
2:33
Lisa Hopkins: It's so funny and I never changed the title.
2:37
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, I added the subtitle and it kind of grew organically, like most things, out of my daily writings over the past four years and then some other writings that I've done and I put them together and I thought, you know, some of them had been shared in some version, not all of them, and whenever they were shared I got a real sense from people that they connected to it and that they found them thought-provoking, right, and a lot of them you know none of them are preachy, because what they are is they're anecdotes.
3:12
Lisa Hopkins: You know where I'm looking at myself through something that's going on in my life.
3:17
Lisa Hopkins: So, for instance and not all of them.
3:19
Lisa Hopkins: They're all a little bit different, they're all short.
3:20
Lisa Hopkins: So there's, I think maybe about 60, something like that chapters, if you want to call it little stories, 60, something like that chapters, if you want to call it little stories, and each one has a prompt at the end, right, each one has a prompt and a space for you to write if you want, and it's an invitation.
3:35
Lisa Hopkins: So I, you know, I deliberately said to my publisher I don't want it to look like you have to, so that if it's empty it feels weird, like if they're lines like to me, like everyone's, like oh, workbook, no, no, no, no, this is not a workbook.
3:48
Lisa Hopkins: I don't want it to be a workbook.
3:49
Lisa Hopkins: I want it to be interactive so people can pick it up and open it wherever they want and read a passage and maybe think about it.
3:58
Mandi Rose: Well, I really love that idea too, because I'm a huge nonfiction reader and usually if I love a book and it helped me, I'll read it multiple times.
4:06
Mandi Rose: So what I like about that how you didn't want it to be like a workbook is that they can take the prompts and write in their own journal, or you know, not feel like they're wasting the page or you know whatever, because you you might read it you know now, and then five years later you're going to have a totally different response to that question, and so that's exactly right.
4:32
Lisa Hopkins: Someone actually just literally someone that I really respect in the arts world just did a testimonial for it, and that's kind of what she said is is you know, the value of it is that it's an investment in yourself and that you can read it and reread it and it'll look different, just like what you said, and that's that's.
4:43
Lisa Hopkins: That was my offering for me.
4:45
Lisa Hopkins: It came from within me.
4:47
Lisa Hopkins: It was literally a place where there was a space and it invited me to come and share and hold space for myself, yeah, in order to share in a different way with all of the readers.
5:01
Lisa Hopkins: And so, yeah, and so what you'll find is you'll find, as I said, you'll find out.
5:09
Lisa Hopkins: Well, you'll probably find out more about me.
5:11
Lisa Hopkins: It's not about me, but because it's coming from me, right?
5:14
Lisa Hopkins: So some things will be very specific.
5:15
Lisa Hopkins: Like, I think the first chapter is literally when I first, when I was reflecting, when I just got to the mountains, when I was isolating which is where a lot of it was written during the pandemic, and I remember sitting outside, and for me, my experience was it was incredible.
5:36
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, it was the most incredible time we were stuck in a cabin.
5:41
Lisa Hopkins: Oh no, that's not possible, yeah no, I mean with my husband, who I love, and I mean it was heaven, and so it was an incredible creative space, and it was also the space that my mother, who had passed and who was my absolute creative partner in terms of she taught me to dance.
5:59
Lisa Hopkins: It was her special place, right, and the fact that we got to be there and that the muses were just everywhere, you know, it was just magnificent space for me.
6:11
Lisa Hopkins: So, like, the first chapter is literally about I'm watching the clouds go by, right, so it's a very, I don't want to say mundane, but that's what I think Everyone thinks.
6:21
Lisa Hopkins: Oh, this is going to be about Lisa's really creative.
6:24
Lisa Hopkins: She's going to tell us how to be creative.
6:25
Lisa Hopkins: No, no, no, no, I'm talking about living a created life and I'm talking about watching a cloud go by and going, this is feeling really in the moment and going, wow, this is amazing.
6:38
Lisa Hopkins: And then thinking about the phrase this too shall pass and most people use that phrase as this will get better.
6:45
Lisa Hopkins: And what I inquire about in the first chapter is well, what if I don't want it to pass because it's good, right?
6:55
Lisa Hopkins: So it's these kinds of musings, you know.
6:57
Lisa Hopkins: So it's kind of where I'm thinking out loud and then inviting you to think out loud.
7:01
Mandi Rose: Ooh, I love that and I'm already like, as you're speaking about watching the clouds pass and things like that, I already start thinking of my own version of that.
7:10
Lisa Hopkins: You know those mundane moments and the moments in between.
7:13
Lisa Hopkins: You know, I always talk about the, the moments in between the leaping and the landing.
7:17
Lisa Hopkins: That's where, that's the place where there is space, the moment between the next word that you say right now and how I receive it.
7:26
Lisa Hopkins: That's magic, right there.
7:28
Mandi Rose: I really, really love the way you said this, that that's the space between the leaping and the landing, because I feel like that's the.
7:36
Mandi Rose: That would be the best way to describe my life right now, because I left a very toxic job in March and I am.
7:43
Mandi Rose: I took this leap right and I'm still kind of like figuring it out, like I'm in the air and I don't quite know where I'm going to land, but I'm kind of navigating all these different ways I could go or you know like it.
7:56
Mandi Rose: I think that's the most beautiful way to explain that.
7:59
Mandi Rose: But that's where growth happens, like 100%.
8:02
Mandi Rose: That's where all possibility lives.
8:04
Lisa Hopkins: That's where.
8:05
Lisa Hopkins: That's where all the creative possibility and when I say creative, I say that broadly all the, all the creative possibilities, the endless choices, the endless experiences, the things that you don't even choose but that just appear.
8:18
Lisa Hopkins: You know that that's yeah.
8:21
Lisa Hopkins: I love it so much.
8:22
Lisa Hopkins: Those are the places where there are spaces.
8:24
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, it just speaks to me, right, and it's so funny because when I was and I was very well known as a choreographer and a dance teacher and so on In my classes I would talk a lot about that.
8:35
Lisa Hopkins: It's funny.
8:35
Lisa Hopkins: Someone made a actually I wrote about this in the chapter because you know, one of my students years ago you know 20 years ago gave me, made me a, a mug and and and on it she had written like she.
8:49
Lisa Hopkins: She made the mug and it said the journey is the thing, and it put me as the.
8:54
Lisa Hopkins: It said Lisa Hopkins, and I was like, oh, do I say that she goes?
8:56
Lisa Hopkins: Oh, my God, you say that all the time.
8:58
Mandi Rose: You're like oh, there's a quote that I've said that people are publishing somewhere and I didn't even know.
9:03
Lisa Hopkins: Well it was really funny and I mean I knew, you know, I knew inside that, yes, I do say that, but it landed so much for her that she attributed it to me, right.
9:11
Lisa Hopkins: I mean you know who you know.
9:13
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, the journey is the thing.
9:14
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, that's what you know, I mean that's what I believe, no-transcript, but until you, which is important, obviously, but until you know.
9:35
Lisa Hopkins: Well, in life you need to learn how to walk and speak and you know, be human and all those things, but the technique.
9:41
Lisa Hopkins: But until you throw away the technique, like throw away the technique and forget about it, there's no real artistry, right?
9:49
Lisa Hopkins: And so I would teach basically some of the best answers in the world.
9:54
Lisa Hopkins: I was not not because I was the best answer in the world, but because I could elicit their best by teaching them that.
10:00
Lisa Hopkins: And see, it's the same thing as what I do with coaching I bring out your best.
10:04
Lisa Hopkins: You know what I mean.
10:05
Lisa Hopkins: I work with high performers.
10:07
Lisa Hopkins: I work with people who are, you know, top of their game, or you know, or know they can be, and help them get there.
10:14
Lisa Hopkins: So it's for me it's the same thing, like I'm learning that I haven't left doing what I'm doing.
10:21
Lisa Hopkins: It's the same thing.
10:22
Lisa Hopkins: It's just coming out in a different way.
10:24
Mandi Rose: Ooh yeah, that's really beautiful, and I really liked the part where you talked about how the technique is, where, if you let go of that for a minute, you can feel the artistry, because I feel I can relate to that because I'm a painter.
10:39
Mandi Rose: With painting, when you're trying to, like, master a technique and it's not working for you, that's usually when it's the most frustrating.
10:47
Mandi Rose: But if you just let loose and you let the process be what it is and you create something out of the love for what you're doing or the emotion that you're feeling or whatever it is, and you pour that into it, you end up with something way more beautiful than what technique could ever get you, and a lot of the classes that I'm starting to teach are more process driven and I'm really excited about them, because that means every single person in the class.
11:12
Mandi Rose: Even though we all took the same class, they all get to create something different.
11:14
Lisa Hopkins: Love that, love that.
11:15
Lisa Hopkins: And you know, it's not to say that technique's not important.
11:17
Lisa Hopkins: Obviously it is.
11:19
Lisa Hopkins: It's a foundation, but what happens is we rely on, we think that that's all it is, and we keep trying to perfect our technique, which is great.
11:28
Lisa Hopkins: Mastery is wonderful, but you know, ultimate mastery, right of life or of a creative pursuit is I mean, you don't want to stop learning, right?
11:39
Lisa Hopkins: So if your goal is perfection as opposed to expression and so on, right, I mean, yes, you can use, I mean, my God, look at the Olympics.
11:48
Lisa Hopkins: Right, I mean some of the extraordinary stuff they do, right, but the ones that really stand out are the ones that have artistry on top of that, that have sort of digested it and then just are trusting and they just let it go.
12:02
Lisa Hopkins: And when they think about it, right, it's the same thing.
12:05
Lisa Hopkins: I mean they talk about high performers.
12:07
Lisa Hopkins: I mean that's what happened to Simone Biles, that's what happened to her last time, right, she, she thought about it too much.
12:12
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, it got to her.
12:15
Mandi Rose: It got to her.
12:15
Lisa Hopkins: Right, but as soon as you tap into really your why I mean, at the end of the day, we're talking about your why right, cause we forget, we forget in the mess of trying to get good at something and everyone telling you, wow, you're so good at this and and you know it feels good, and so you keep going and going, and then you're expected to be that good, then it's all about meeting expectations and then you know, then then you lose why you're doing it for yourself and and then you, really well, you know it's, it's, it becomes unsustainable.
12:42
Lisa Hopkins: That's why a lot of people you know great artists, are very unhappy.
12:49
Mandi Rose: You know this reminds me of I freaking love this book, so my listeners probably hear me talk about this all the time but big magic, elizabeth Gilbert.
12:53
Mandi Rose: She talks about how you have to love your thing enough to like eat the shit sandwich.
13:00
Mandi Rose: Like like painting every day or showing up for yourself and doing your art, your of sorts.
13:08
Mandi Rose: You've got to love it enough that you'll still show up for it when it's really shitty.
13:12
Mandi Rose: You've got to love it enough to like cause everything has its own shit sandwich, right, even if you love your new job.
13:19
Mandi Rose: Every single job has its own shit sandwich and you have to decide.
13:23
Mandi Rose: Is your, why, big enough to help you get through this shitty sandwich?
13:26
Lisa Hopkins: Well, yeah, and I mean I would, yes, I mean yes, I would.
13:31
Lisa Hopkins: I would also say that you know, you said you have to and you don't have to, you don't have to do anything.
13:40
Lisa Hopkins: I mean I, I, I really, I really hold people on the words they use, because you know, when we live, when we're in binary, like you have to do this, you don't then we feel like, okay, well, there's the shit.
13:50
Lisa Hopkins: And then you start thinking, well, I have to put there it is, I have to put up with it, and so it becomes having to put up with it instead of actually just putting up with it.
13:58
Mandi Rose: Does that make sense?
13:59
Mandi Rose: The distinction Well, if you change it to, you get to there.
14:02
Mandi Rose: It is.
14:02
Mandi Rose: Yeah, if you change it to and I've been trying to, I'm glad you caught me because I've been trying to work on that one instead of using words like um, for an example, I want to build this business, but I'm just beginning and changing it to, and I want to build this business and I'm just beginning.
14:22
Mandi Rose: It's a much more like um, optimistic type of way of saying it.
14:27
Mandi Rose: And so when you say I get to struggle through this a little bit more so I can grow in my creative field, it's instead of having to eat the shit sandwich, you get to grow a little bit more through the struggles because you love it enough to struggle through it.
14:44
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, I get to love something enough that even through the shit, I persevere because I love it.
14:48
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, I get to love something enough that, even through the shit, I persevere because I love it.
14:52
Lisa Hopkins: No, for sure.
14:53
Lisa Hopkins: It's funny that you said that, because I have a thing called the choice capacitor and a thing that I call energetic choice, and the model is that there's five energetic choices, really almost six now when I describe it.
15:05
Lisa Hopkins: So you know, everything is energy, right, and our thoughts are energy, obviously, and how we show up energetically in our thoughts or in our life, it affects the way that we see and experience life, right.
15:18
Lisa Hopkins: So if we're saying I can't, which is the lowest energetic choice, right, it's obvious.
15:25
Lisa Hopkins: But how often do we say I can't All the time?
15:27
Lisa Hopkins: Hey, you want to come for dinner?
15:28
Lisa Hopkins: No, I can't.
15:30
Lisa Hopkins: Even you know low-key, lower, like I can't, right, that's just that very low-key energetic choice, whereas you know the second one, and none's necessarily.
15:40
Lisa Hopkins: You know worse or whatever.
15:42
Lisa Hopkins: It's just more about recognizing it and then asking yourself if you want to shift it.
15:46
Lisa Hopkins: The second energetic choice I talk about is I have to, and that's the binary one.
15:51
Lisa Hopkins: It's like I have to, so it gets you doing it, but it's obligation, it's I have to.
15:59
Lisa Hopkins: It might be fear, whatever, when you move out of I have to.
16:03
Lisa Hopkins: The next energetic choice I talk about is and you're going to be familiar with this because we all are is I should.
16:10
Lisa Hopkins: So if you imagine it going up the dial to here, which is I should, so I should, is what I call I could, with shame, right.
16:23
Mandi Rose: Because should almost has this.
16:25
Mandi Rose: Like it's almost like you want to do it, like, oh yeah, I should start that business, I should start that podcast, I should do this, but there's something that's still said I would.
16:43
Lisa Hopkins: I should do that because they want me to.
16:46
Lisa Hopkins: I should do that because, whatever you start to realize, if you lose the shame, then you have I could.
16:51
Lisa Hopkins: Right, then you go, I could do that.
16:54
Lisa Hopkins: You can hear the tone of my voice.
16:56
Lisa Hopkins: Even I could do that.
16:58
Lisa Hopkins: And then you're really at choice, because maybe you don't decide to do it, but at least you're in choice, you're not shooting yourself all over the place, right, because so many of us find ourselves doing things because we think we should, and then we go what the hell are we doing?
17:13
Lisa Hopkins: Or why am I doing this?
17:15
Lisa Hopkins: So then you get to I could.
17:16
Lisa Hopkins: And once you get into I could, you're exactly right.
17:18
Lisa Hopkins: Then you start to connect to like, well, not only can I, which is empowering, is empowering?
17:24
Lisa Hopkins: Right, because that's where you're truly aware of your capabilities.
17:27
Lisa Hopkins: Right, so you're like no, I could do that.
17:30
Lisa Hopkins: Um, and when you decide that you do, you know that you're going to do that.
17:34
Lisa Hopkins: Then you go, not only can I, but I want to.
17:36
Lisa Hopkins: And that's the fourth energetic choice I want to do this.
17:39
Lisa Hopkins: And when you say I want to do this, you're, then you're already, you're tying it into your wise.
17:44
Lisa Hopkins: I want to do this because I'm a person I like to give value.
17:48
Lisa Hopkins: I want to do this because whatever your wants are right and that's connected to your values, right, that's connected to your why.
17:55
Lisa Hopkins: And once you're in, I want to.
17:57
Lisa Hopkins: Then, hell, it's just so easy to get.
17:59
Lisa Hopkins: You know.
18:00
Lisa Hopkins: I call, I get to, I call that choice with gratitude.
18:03
Lisa Hopkins: So not only are you doing it, but you're doing it and in the moment you're feeling gratitude for it.
18:14
Lisa Hopkins: So I get to is choice with gratitude.
18:15
Lisa Hopkins: I get to do this.
18:15
Lisa Hopkins: I get to talk to Mandy right now.
18:16
Lisa Hopkins: I mean I could be going, I could be literally going.
18:18
Lisa Hopkins: You know, well, I can't talk to Mandy and then canceling you out.
18:21
Lisa Hopkins: I can't, you know she's late.
18:22
Lisa Hopkins: I can't do this.
18:23
Lisa Hopkins: I could have said I have to, cause I missed it last time, and you know, you know, or that I should do this.
18:30
Lisa Hopkins: You know because, well, you know, I can think of lots of reasons why I should.
18:33
Lisa Hopkins: Um, oh, cause you have a book out and you know all these stupid reasons that my brain might say why I should do it.
18:48
Lisa Hopkins: And then I go no, no, I could do that, I could totally do that.
18:49
Lisa Hopkins: I mean I'm having a conversation.
18:50
Lisa Hopkins: I love having conversations, I want to do that, and then here I am, I get to do this.
18:52
Lisa Hopkins: So it's choice with gratitude right.
18:53
Mandi Rose: Do you see how that works?
18:54
Mandi Rose: I love it so much too because, like there's days so I'm an artist and so I'll find mural jobs and things.
19:01
Mandi Rose: And sometimes when I'm out on site and I'm working on a mural and the wind blows and gets dirt all over the wet paint or something like this, I get all pissed off or something, and I catch myself and I'm like do you know what?
19:11
Mandi Rose: I am so lucky that I've built a life where I can design it, so I get to paint on a Monday morning.
19:17
Mandi Rose: Like that's my job.
19:19
Mandi Rose: I get to paint on a Monday morning and people are paying me to do it, and it's like yeah, you have to deal.
19:26
Mandi Rose: You get to deal with some of the things right, like the wind blowing on your wet paint, but you get to paint for your job, like it's something that I really try to bring in when there's sometimes that I'm not necessarily, because with commissions sometimes you're just creating a vision for someone else.
19:43
Mandi Rose: It's not necessarily your soul being poured into it.
19:47
Mandi Rose: But you have a skill set that someone's paying you to do, and so sometimes there's projects that necessarily don't light your soul on fire, but you still are doing the thing that you love, if that makes sense.
19:57
Mandi Rose: Oh yeah, yep.
19:58
Mandi Rose: Anyways, when I get commissions and I'm really just not fired up about the subject matter that I'm painting or things you know, things like that, it's, um, I'm trying to reframe my framework that like, do you know what I get to do this?
20:09
Mandi Rose: And I don't have any toxic boss telling me how to do it or what to do or how to manage my time.
20:14
Mandi Rose: I get the choice and this is my choice and I'm excited about this.
20:18
Mandi Rose: And then I've kind of taken it a level further and then now being selective on which projects I take on, so that way I enjoy my job even more.
20:27
Lisa Hopkins: There you go.
20:27
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, cause you, you get to choose and you know it's, it's perfectly normal, it's not woo woo.
20:32
Lisa Hopkins: I mean it's not saying that you know you're only going to do the things that you get to, but but in fact the I get to thing works way, almost way better when we're doing something we don't want to do, like your taxes literally because no, but when you need the energy, because man, the, the, the, oh, I can't, I can't stand doing my taxes, or I, you know I have to do my taxes, or I should.
20:54
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, those are not, those are not going to help you do something that you do, that you know you're going to do.
20:58
Lisa Hopkins: I'm talking especially when it's something that you know you are going to do.
21:02
Lisa Hopkins: Right, you're gonna do your taxes.
21:04
Lisa Hopkins: Um, so then then you have, you have choices about how, we're talking about how.
21:10
Lisa Hopkins: Now, how you want to do it right and what's that I said, hire someone else to do it, absolutely, because, but see, that's part of your how and that's that's your choice.
21:21
Lisa Hopkins: So you know, it's it.
21:24
Lisa Hopkins: You know you always have a choice.
21:26
Lisa Hopkins: You always have a choice about how you see things, always, I was reading a book.
21:31
Mandi Rose: It's called we Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rogers, and she talks about how, if you use the word I can't and you say I can't do that or like I can't, make a million dollars If you train yourself to change that word to won't, like, instead of saying I can't, it's I won't, it's not, I can't go out tonight, it's I won't go out tonight because I'd rather be doing this.
21:55
Mandi Rose: If you change it and say I won't do that, it almost holds yourself accountable and makes you realize that everything you are doing is choice.
22:07
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, yep, a lot of the work that I do is about and again this ties into our living creatively but is about discovering our defaults.
22:17
Lisa Hopkins: And with the energetic choice thing or with really anything that we do, it's really important to look at it and say am I doing this by choice, because it's serving me right now, or am I doing it by default, because I always do it this way?
22:33
Lisa Hopkins: Give me an example.
22:36
Lisa Hopkins: So a really good example actually is when you react or respond quickly to doing something so and it actually it can be in something bad right, where you just you always say no, like I can think of my.
22:51
Lisa Hopkins: You know somebody I know who might say you know you might invite them to do something and they just go no, I never do that Right, or whatever right, or they might just sort of naturally do that.
23:01
Lisa Hopkins: But it also where it really stands out for me because, again, because I work with high performers is when we default to our strengths, right.
23:11
Lisa Hopkins: So defaults definitely are things where we default, where we just always kind of know I'm not going to participate, I'm not good at that, or where you always go I'm so bad, or you know, you get these habits.
23:22
Lisa Hopkins: They're like habits, right, habitual ways of thinking.
23:23
Lisa Hopkins: Those are what I mean by defaults, and so that stopping that living in the moment piece is really important, because then you can go wait a second.
23:30
Lisa Hopkins: Am I doing this, you know?
23:32
Lisa Hopkins: Am I doing this because I always do it this way, or am I doing it because it's serving me in this moment?
23:37
Lisa Hopkins: Right.
23:37
Lisa Hopkins: So that's huge.
23:38
Lisa Hopkins: That's a space that you could create for yourself.
23:41
Mandi Rose: But when you have a strength like what's something you're really good at Mandy, like that, you would say, is like your superpower could be in your art, could be in your life, wherever.
23:50
Mandi Rose: I mean, yeah, the, the, I feel like the easy, like lowest hanging fruit, would probably be my art.
23:53
Mandi Rose: That's one that I speak on, but I would say the other thing that I'm probably really good on is like rallying a crowd and like I can take a leadership position, like I enjoy public speaking.
24:05
Mandi Rose: I don't mind being in front of people.
24:08
Lisa Hopkins: Yep, and is there something that you find yourself kind of always doing because you're good at like?
24:16
Lisa Hopkins: Either people ask you to do it or or or you just do it?
24:18
Lisa Hopkins: Is there, are there any?
24:19
Lisa Hopkins: Can you think of anything specific?
24:21
Mandi Rose: I over-volunteer for things usually, um, like, so I'm.
24:26
Mandi Rose: So I'm a troop leader for Girl Scouts and that happened because I accidentally volunteered for it.
24:31
Mandi Rose: I say accidentally because I would never intended to.
24:37
Mandi Rose: It wasn't part of a plan, but when I showed up and they needed a troop leader, I raised my hand.
24:42
Mandi Rose: You know, like my kid needs a troop leader, so I signed up for it.
24:45
Mandi Rose: But in that then I've learned that my digital and my, my marketing expertise like being able to make QR codes and put them on flyers so people can easily see them, and things I happen to volunteer for, things that I naturally can do that Apparently, other people don't know how to do that and I don't know how to do that and I didn't know that that wasn't a thing and I I'll, I'll, over-volunteer myself for things that, um, if I can like easily get in and create a design of sorts or I don't know different things like that If it's easy to me, I'll volunteer for it because it's easy to me.
25:22
Lisa Hopkins: That's interesting.
25:22
Lisa Hopkins: We could totally dig in, but we probably shouldn't.
25:26
Lisa Hopkins: But no, that's super interesting.
25:32
Lisa Hopkins: I'll give you a simple example of what I mean, too, about the strengths Cause, yeah, I don't want to dive into your thing right now, because it will be, we'll go there, but it would be maybe on a separate call.
25:42
Lisa Hopkins: Okay, so a lot of my clients Okay, so a lot of my clients, as I said, are are high performing creatives, um, and they're really good at what they do, they're established in their careers, they, you know, they're known for whatever it is they do, and so they do it the way they do it.
25:59
Lisa Hopkins: Right, like you know, they're really good at, say, hitting the mark, or really good at being funny, or really good at whatever it might be.
26:06
Lisa Hopkins: Um, you know, or, or so, whatever it might be, that they're really good at, um, they're, they kind of put an expectation on themselves, they default to it because they're good at it.
26:17
Lisa Hopkins: Right, it's easy, it's easy to go there.
26:19
Lisa Hopkins: But what happens sometimes is you're you, you overshadow.
26:22
Lisa Hopkins: If you're always defaulting to your strength, you're overshadowing other strengths that you might actually have, because, a people expect it and, b you just go there Because, like you, even the volunteering thing actually fits into that.
26:35
Mandi Rose: Well, you just do it, and then people expect it, and so you just kind of default to it, which I've actually learned to set boundaries on, because if you always volunteer to help other people do the things, they'll never step up and do the things well yeah, and what's interesting about say a strength like is that if you, if you learn to recognize it as a tool in your toolkit as opposed to a way of being all the time, then it's always there for you.
27:04
Lisa Hopkins: It's always there for you, it's always there for you, like I have a lot right, like I can get in front of a crowd and I can be loud.
27:11
Lisa Hopkins: If I want to be, I can be, but I, you know, I can also be really into.
27:15
Lisa Hopkins: I can do meditations.
27:16
Lisa Hopkins: You know there's lots of other things and I, you know, do you know what I mean?
27:19
Lisa Hopkins: And it's like, you know, they become things in your toolkit as opposed to the overarching thing of who you are.
27:26
Lisa Hopkins: So it's almost like you don't typecast yourself in your strengths and we do that to ourselves.
27:31
Lisa Hopkins: And so, you know, sometimes it's really good to look at your strengths and go what is it that I default to all the time, because I'm good at, or because it's expected of me, maybe, and then ask yourself say what would be different if I did that more by choice?
27:48
Lisa Hopkins: And I, I left some space to grow and nurture and give some shine, some light on some of the other things that I have.
27:53
Lisa Hopkins: So another aspects of me, right and, and I think, when we embrace those even just in in a small scale, like um, I was talking to a client the other day Actually, she's a costume designer, it's not really relevant to the conversation, but she is an artist and she was struggling with something going on in, not even in her art but in her life, and she was saying Lisa, I had a hot bath and I lit, lit my candles and I read my book and I did all these things and I don't feel better.
28:32
Lisa Hopkins: And we talked about.
28:33
Lisa Hopkins: I said, first of all, it's great that you've got some things, some go-tos.
28:38
Lisa Hopkins: I said, but you're only going.
28:42
Lisa Hopkins: How often do you do those go-tos when you're not stressed out?
28:45
Lisa Hopkins: She goes well, I don't.
28:48
Lisa Hopkins: And I, yeah, exactly.
28:49
Mandi Rose: That's why you don't enjoy them.
28:52
Lisa Hopkins: Because you associate.
28:54
Lisa Hopkins: You associate them with I am stressed out of my mind and then you go and have a bath and go, okay, this, and you become attached to these things having to make you feel better, or associated with Sometimes they do right.
29:07
Lisa Hopkins: So I said to her what if you put those as options on your menu but you grew your menu and that you did every day something on your menu?
29:20
Lisa Hopkins: It might not be those things create new things, but every single day and you build it as a foundation as opposed to just a place you go to when you're messed up or you're stressed out.
29:33
Mandi Rose: Oh, I love that so much, so it's about foundation.
29:37
Lisa Hopkins: It's about, it's about, you know, balance, and foundational because it's the first thing that we let go.
29:42
Lisa Hopkins: And the other thing is people, people get the limiting belief that, okay, okay, well then I'm going to run every day and because I feel great, and I'm going to do that.
29:50
Lisa Hopkins: So, no, no, no, like you need a menu, because you won't always have time to have a bath, you won't always have time to write or to do these things, so I don't know what makes you feel better.
30:02
Lisa Hopkins: You do, and maybe this is an opportunity to discover what makes you feel better.
30:05
Lisa Hopkins: But let's, let's, you know, create a menu and every day, your goal is to click one thing on the menu.
30:12
Lisa Hopkins: That's the goal not to run, not to exercise, not to whatever, but to pick something that is self-care every day.
30:19
Mandi Rose: So I love this.
30:20
Mandi Rose: So I started at the beginning of July.
30:22
Mandi Rose: I started what was called the soul 365 challenge and, for me, I was starting it with the intention of painting every day.
30:30
Mandi Rose: What it has evolved into and I don't know if I've necessarily kept track or something, but it instilled a mindset shift, and my friend that's been following along and doing this with me is, instead of what started as me painting every day, it's now turned into just show up for yourself every day.
30:50
Mandi Rose: What does that look like?
30:52
Mandi Rose: And I love that you listed out like a menu, and, if you don't like, cause last night my kids left with their dad and every single Sunday, when they go with their dad and I'm like the house is quiet and there's stuff is everywhere, and I'm like, do I clean up the mess so I can enjoy a clean house while they're gone, or do I sit and relax, or is now my time to work?
31:12
Mandi Rose: And I feel so directionless and, um, that was one of those times where I guess I I should write them down and have a menu, like you know, have it listed out in front of me.
31:22
Mandi Rose: Um, but that was one of the times where I was like I know I could, I should, I would, whatever, do all these things, but I haven't sat down and watched a movie in so long.
31:33
Mandi Rose: Like a movie I want, not my kids' movie and that's what I did last night is I got takeout and I watched a movie and it was so nice to not feel the pressure of pulling me in one way or another.
31:43
Mandi Rose: But it's you just show up for yourself and however you can, and like my friend that's doing it with us um, she, she has a pool in her backyard, she lives in Phoenix and so she was saying that one day that that was her soul 365.
31:56
Mandi Rose: And then she reads the next day, and then she journals the next day, and then it's just whatever it is.
32:01
Mandi Rose: It doesn't even matter, it doesn't even have to be intentional anymore.
32:04
Mandi Rose: It's just something that I know, that I show up for myself in some way a little bit every day.
32:09
Mandi Rose: Yep, because then you build a foundation.
32:11
Lisa Hopkins: Then you build a foundation and then, when you know the shit hits the sandwich comes, shit hits the fan.
32:18
Lisa Hopkins: You're going to be that much more resilient and then you're going to amp it up, probably you know.
32:31
Lisa Hopkins: And then you're going to amp it up, probably you know, and then you can have your whatever ice cream and Bridget Jones movie, you know what I mean.
32:34
Mandi Rose: You can wallow and have fun but you know you're going to bounce back from that too.
32:35
Mandi Rose: Yeah, yeah, and I found when I have down days, it's okay, like I give myself grace through those down days, like when I'm feeling maybe this defeatist mindset or something, because I think usually when those types of days come in, it's when I am putting too much pressure on myself, the pressure that I put on myself to succeed or to be good at something, or to be consistent at something, or whatever it is that I'm trying to do and like the goal I'm trying to set for myself I'm trying to set for myself.
33:03
Mandi Rose: Usually the defeatist mindset comes in when I'm realizing that I'm not where I want to be and putting pressure on myself to get there instead of just enjoying the journey.
33:11
Mandi Rose: Right, what was the quote you said?
33:12
Mandi Rose: The journey.
33:13
Mandi Rose: The journey is the thing.
33:14
Mandi Rose: Yeah, the journey is the thing, and I think sometimes we just have to give ourselves a little bit of grace and allow ourselves to.
33:21
Mandi Rose: We don't have to.
33:24
Mandi Rose: We get to give ourselves a little bit of grace, but just allow ourselves that permission to just sink into that feeling, acknowledge it for what it is, but then understand how you can maybe retrain your brain to not be defeated but empowered.
33:42
Mandi Rose: And for me, when I do that, I know that when I'm in a defeatist mindset, the best way for me to do it is get to work.
33:47
Mandi Rose: There you go, Like clarity comes.
33:51
Lisa Hopkins: Opposite action, right.
33:52
Lisa Hopkins: Opposite action, yeah, no.
33:57
Lisa Hopkins: And I mean whatever works right and that won't work for you all the time.
33:59
Lisa Hopkins: It's interesting because and that's okay, that's because you're human, it's not because you're broken, and so that's the other toolkit piece.
34:04
Lisa Hopkins: It's like you know I have, I have actors who say, you know, I always warm up this way and, and it works, and you know, and you know, and they, they get into that I have to do it, I have to do my pushups, I have to do whatever.
34:15
Lisa Hopkins: And then it's like, well, yeah, but what?
34:19
Lisa Hopkins: What?
34:19
Lisa Hopkins: About other things you could develop?
34:21
Lisa Hopkins: You know, as you know, you're in a different kind of show or you're in a different kind of.
34:24
Lisa Hopkins: There might be different aspects, Like what pressure are you putting on yourself?
34:27
Lisa Hopkins: If you say this is how I warm up and this is what works, it is what works, but it doesn't necessarily, it doesn't have to work all the time, Cause then you add that pressure.
34:35
Lisa Hopkins: So then again, you're choosing, you're going ah, what, what will work and what will work this time?
34:41
Mandi Rose: Well, and what I like about having like a menu.
34:43
Mandi Rose: I really should just write out a menu that gives me ideas of.
34:47
Mandi Rose: You know the things I love, and so when you're feeling directionless, try one of these or something you know, but what I really love about that idea is that sometimes getting in the tub and lighting some candles sometimes that doesn't work.
34:59
Mandi Rose: Sometimes what you need is to go burn off some of that anxious feeling through in the gym, or you know what I mean.
35:05
Mandi Rose: The tub is not where you need it.
35:06
Mandi Rose: Maybe you need to do the gym and then the tub.
35:10
Lisa Hopkins: Well, that's it.
35:10
Lisa Hopkins: And here's the thing is sometimes the tub is a default right.
35:16
Lisa Hopkins: That's what I'm talking about with defaults.
35:18
Lisa Hopkins: So if we default to, when I feel shitty I go to the tub, or I have a glass of wine, or whatever it might be.
35:23
Lisa Hopkins: It's like that's where you say to yourself is this, I doing this because this is what I always do when I feel shitty, or am I doing this because I feel shitty but in, in this moment, what's going to serve me?
35:34
Lisa Hopkins: And then you open up.
35:36
Lisa Hopkins: Then you open up the possibilities.
35:38
Mandi Rose: I love this, yeah there's this book that I read years and years ago and I'm so I'm going to paraphrase this, but it's called the pumpkin plan by mike mccowicz, and he essentially talks about how, like, if you want an award-winning pumpkin at the carnival, you've got to trim back all of the weeds that are around the pumpkin, so that way the pumpkin is getting all the nourishments that it needs.
35:59
Mandi Rose: And you have to just put all of your attention on this pumpkin, and I think what that was trying to say is that you know, if you want something to grow, you have to give your love and attention to it and try to trim back and set boundaries around the things that aren't serving it.
36:11
Mandi Rose: But what I love about this conversation and this narrative is that you don't have to put all of your attention into one thing.
36:18
Mandi Rose: You get to choose between of your whole menu of things that you love that will help build you and grow you as a human being.
36:26
Lisa Hopkins: Oh, hell yeah.
36:27
Mandi Rose: It's an opposite narrative and I love both perspectives.
36:30
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, well, yeah, you know, I love that.
36:33
Lisa Hopkins: I love paradoxes, right?
36:34
Lisa Hopkins: I love that two things can exist at the same time, and that's just the more the merrier, right?
36:39
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, that's another choice too, but that is the way I live my life.
36:44
Lisa Hopkins: When we talk about living, you know, cultivating a life of creative possibilities, I mean, yes, I happen to be a creative person in, you know, by trade.
36:52
Lisa Hopkins: But beyond that, I think, no matter what I did and no, it is true, no matter what I do I live creatively, and all that means is that I live in the places where there are spaces.
37:07
Lisa Hopkins: I see opportunities everywhere, and I don't mean opportunities like things that are going to advance me, I mean unattached opportunities, opportunities to live and express myself in the world, and you know, that's what, for me, that's what creative living is, yeah.
37:26
Mandi Rose: Yeah, because there's freedom in it.
37:27
Mandi Rose: Oh my gosh, endless yeah, and that's what I'm feeling a lot with this.
37:31
Mandi Rose: So every year I set an intention word for my year.
37:35
Mandi Rose: At the like, usually in the burr months september, october, november I start thinking about what word I want for next year and I realized, like really early into this year, that the word that I picked so I the word that I picked for this year was connect, and parts of me was like oh, I don't think that's the word I need, that's not the word I'm resonating with.
37:58
Mandi Rose: But as I tried to dismiss it, I'm finding more and more opportunities that I'm naturally connecting, like this podcast, you know like you get to connect all these people and and I would have thought that the word like freedom, I think, I mean my word free was, I think, 2022, 2021.
38:16
Mandi Rose: And that one was such a powerful word for me for that intention word.
38:19
Mandi Rose: But sometimes, oh oftentimes, what happens for me is that you set the intention word and it ends up being something completely different than what you thought it would be.
38:31
Mandi Rose: Yep, it transforms itself into something that you never, ever, ever guessed that that word would have manifested for you 100%.
38:41
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, no, I think that's very true.
38:42
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, I think things are never, you never.
38:45
Lisa Hopkins: What is it like?
38:47
Lisa Hopkins: It's like, why are you here?
38:50
Lisa Hopkins: It's never really the reason that you think you're here.
38:52
Lisa Hopkins: You know whether it's why I came on the podcast or why you wanted me on the pod, or you know it's not.
38:57
Lisa Hopkins: It's not really the the, the original reason you thought.
39:00
Mandi Rose: Yeah, I went to.
39:02
Mandi Rose: Elizabeth Gilbert was in town and she did a conference.
39:05
Mandi Rose: And of course, when she, when I saw the tickets were available did you go by any chance.
39:10
Mandi Rose: Oh, yes, I did.
39:11
Mandi Rose: I bought my tickets months and months.
39:13
Mandi Rose: So you know, it's funny is that was actually.
39:16
Mandi Rose: It happened by, like by chance.
39:18
Mandi Rose: I didn't, I didn't go out seeking, I didn't see, like I wasn't following her, and she said, hey, I'm going to be in voice, and I'm like, oh cool, I had this really strong impression that I should write a book one day.
39:29
Mandi Rose: And I found a free writing workshop and the way they marketed it really spoke to me, because my associate's degree is in architecture and they called it basically like architectural writing, like you have to have like a framework for your writing, and they basically like different slopes of the roofs would be different plot lines and different things like that.
39:50
Mandi Rose: And that's how they put it together.
39:51
Mandi Rose: So I went to this writing workshop and that was where I found out that Elizabeth Gilbert was coming to Boise.
39:57
Mandi Rose: And that's when I was like, oh how cool.
39:59
Mandi Rose: So I didn't even like I just kind of stumbled upon it because I had another impression that I should be doing something else.
40:05
Mandi Rose: And then I found that information.
40:07
Mandi Rose: Anyways, what I was getting at is at that conference she had, um, she was talking about purpose and how everybody puts all this pressure on figuring out what your life purpose is and what you should be doing with your life.
40:19
Mandi Rose: And she's like you know, I see sometimes an opportunity to find purpose in little mundane things and she doesn't intentionally do it, she just realizes it after the fact.
40:29
Mandi Rose: And she was saying that she was on vacation one time and she was just leisurely walking around I don't know LA, somewhere, whatever location she had mentioned, and she didn't have anywhere she needed to be because she was on vacation and there was a guy that was on a ladder, he was painting something or he was on this rickety ladder and she just went over quietly and held his ladder and he continued about his business.
40:53
Mandi Rose: He had no idea she was there.
40:55
Mandi Rose: And as he started to come down, she's like okay, he's safe now.
40:57
Mandi Rose: And she walked away and she said what if that?
41:00
Mandi Rose: That was my purpose in my life?
41:01
Mandi Rose: Like what if that was?
41:03
Mandi Rose: The reason I needed to be is because that man was going to go on to like cure cancer or like do different things, but my sole purpose was to be there to hold his ladder.
41:13
Mandi Rose: And like we put so much pressure on, like what our purpose is and like this divine calling that we should have, and what if it's just to be a good human?
41:20
Lisa Hopkins: I love that 100%, yeah, no, I mean absolutely.
41:23
Lisa Hopkins: Mm-hmm, 100%, yeah, no, I mean absolutely.
41:28
Lisa Hopkins: And it's so funny because I always said I remember making my website whenever that was whenever I I don't know a while back, quite a while back.
41:48
Lisa Hopkins: And I didn't put any pictures of myself on it, deliberately because, and what I said on the website was, you know, I remember saying in my bio I don't know if it still says that, but on my bio I said you know, I live, I call three places, my home right, um, new york city, uh, burlington, vermont and now quebec.
42:04
Lisa Hopkins: And I said but I live, I live in the infinite places in between, those right, like it, that I live in between, I don't, I mean, those are, those are the technically, the, the, the cities where I, where you might find me, but but I live, I live in the places in between.
42:19
Lisa Hopkins: And I and I said that you know you won't find any pictures of me on this website, but you'll find my photographs Because I think you're going to learn more about me by the way I see the world and maybe even a little bit about yourself.
42:37
Lisa Hopkins: So I'm going to share these photographs with you and I remember for the longest time that's what it was like.
42:42
Lisa Hopkins: Somebody eventually came along and said, no, but it's really important that they see you're a human.
42:47
Lisa Hopkins: So I have one, literally one picture on there, you know, just to show that I'm a human.
42:56
Lisa Hopkins: But that's kind of the way I roll right.
42:56
Lisa Hopkins: It's like you know, it doesn't matter to me where I am.
43:00
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, there are certain things that I know and I call these influencers right, like environmental influencers, or we have emotional influencers, we have spiritual ones.
43:08
Lisa Hopkins: You you know they're things that influence our energy and I think and I do a lot of work with that and they're they're literal things.
43:14
Lisa Hopkins: Like you know, if there's a person that throws you off your game or whatever, or if there's a person that makes you feel better, you know that would be a social influencer, right.
43:23
Lisa Hopkins: Or if there's an emotional influence, and so on and so forth.
43:26
Lisa Hopkins: And for me, like you know, certain I have certain.
43:30
Lisa Hopkins: So it's not like things are going to always be the same everywhere, where you find me or where I'm living, because I've lived all over the place, but there are some influencers that make me my best, which is art, which is being surrounded by.
43:47
Lisa Hopkins: There's some environmental things that are important to me.
43:49
Lisa Hopkins: There's some, you know, cleaning things.
43:51
Lisa Hopkins: I have a big physical influence because I'm a dancer, so if I haven't moved my body, they're really important, right?
43:58
Lisa Hopkins: These?
43:58
Lisa Hopkins: How to understand how we're influenced by energy, and that's those are applicable things, that that we can apply to that being open to live in the places where there are spaces, right, and I think by taking and I guess they're kind of self-care to right where we want to help ourselves be the best that we can be, care too, right, where we want to help ourselves be the best that we can be, then it's important to address what affects us and what helps us and it's contextual too, and that's the other thing is, you know, I'm always working with my clients, but it's not black and white, it's not always going to be the same.
44:41
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, yeah, there might be capital letter like no, that really sets me off anytime it happens.
44:47
Lisa Hopkins: Okay, well, yeah, but but you know, sometimes, like, for instance, my daughter, if she it used to be, she's probably my biggest influencer it takes a lot to throw me off my game.
44:57
Lisa Hopkins: Right, things can roll off my back, things don't really bother me, I don't take things personally, I really practice that.
45:03
Lisa Hopkins: But but my heart center for my daughter is my biggest, and then my family, but my daughter, first for sure.
45:10
Lisa Hopkins: And so if she, she calls or texts or whatever, she's an adult, right, she's 27, um, so, but even all through, especially when she was a teenager, like a young, if I would get a text, I would, it would change my energy.
45:26
Lisa Hopkins: If it was, if I, you know, there's a period of time where it was always bad news, you know, or stress, and I, you know, I would respond to that, right, I would, it would, it would take me out, and if it was good, it would take me out because I get all excited.
45:40
Lisa Hopkins: So I started realizing, recognizing that you know a couple of things and that you you said this earlier is that know, with the volunteering, is you start to recognize that?
45:49
Lisa Hopkins: well, a, just because I can doesn't mean I have to so just because I can take the phone call with my daughter and I can make her feel better in the moment, doesn't mean I have to um, and the other thing was you know, when I don't take the phone call right away, she learns, she.
46:04
Lisa Hopkins: She learns that you know I call.
46:06
Lisa Hopkins: Inevitably an hour later she'd call and go, oh, everything was fine.
46:09
Lisa Hopkins: But I would put myself through the whole thing, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, my God, and let her cry and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then right, and then still an hour later she'd be like, oh, it's fine.
46:19
Lisa Hopkins: So so like I'm, you know, I was so attached to to in my involvement with her, and now, with my detachment, I'm still completely like in the know and loving her, but I'm not attached to what I think it should be or what I think would be better for her or any of those things.
46:35
Lisa Hopkins: So that parent is that we're going on a parent tangent.
46:38
Lisa Hopkins: But it's huge for me and probably for a lot of other mothers, right, they get, they're hugely influenced by their kids.
46:45
Lisa Hopkins: How old are your kids, mandy?
46:47
Mandi Rose: I have four and they're they're all coming up on birthdays.
46:50
Mandi Rose: I call this birthday season from my birthday kicks us off in June and we have one every single month until October, and so we're in the thick of birthday season.
46:58
Mandi Rose: But as of right now, their current ages are five, six, eight and 11.
47:04
Lisa Hopkins: Amazing.
47:05
Mandi Rose: Yeah, so, but they, you know, and I think everything you're saying about you know setting those boundaries essentially with what you have.
47:14
Mandi Rose: It goes right back into creating this life of your design.
47:17
Mandi Rose: Right, because if and I did a podcast several episodes ago that was letting go of what isn't serving you, and the first step, I think, is being aware that it's not serving you, like, if you can say, like energetically every time I talk to my daughter on the phone, whether it's, you know, high or low, but you as an empath, probably, you take on her emotions and that's usually what it is you can say okay, right now is my focus time, I'll call her back.
47:45
Mandi Rose: Like that you know what I mean.
47:47
Mandi Rose: You can set that boundary for yourself because you know that whatever emotions on the other side of that phone is going to influence you in some way.
47:54
Mandi Rose: So it's a boundary that you set, but it's.
47:57
Mandi Rose: It's letting go of what isn't serving you and making space for what does, and setting the boundaries around your time to where you can control the influences that are affecting your behavior and your productivity, and all the things.
48:11
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, no, 100%, and I think I love the way you described it, because a lot of people think of boundaries as things that they have to declare to others and to hold.
48:23
Lisa Hopkins: You know, no, no, I've had enough.
48:24
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, yes, if it's really a serious thing and a life-threatening thing, yes, but the boundaries are for yourself.
48:31
Lisa Hopkins: They're for yourself, not for other people.
48:34
Lisa Hopkins: You can't make other people do or not do other things.
48:36
Lisa Hopkins: So what you're doing is you're honoring you, yeah, and I feel like the key is to do it energetically, for yourself and not have to say anything.
48:49
Lisa Hopkins: I think people get really stuck when they say to someone I've had enough, that's my boundary, I'm sorry, you can't cross it, because everybody's going to close at that moment.
48:58
Lisa Hopkins: It's a very closed, closed to all sorts of any kind of possibility, whereas if you say to yourself and you show up, she didn't notice.
49:05
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
49:07
Lisa Hopkins: I noticed massive change in me and she probably you know subsequently felt, probably not knowing why, but massive growth in herself because she was handling stuff herself.
49:18
Mandi Rose: You know, Because it's empowering to you.
49:19
Mandi Rose: Know, manage your own problems without having to call mom every time, or you know, and she'll eventually learn like cause.
49:25
Mandi Rose: She can process it on her own and not have to call every time, or she'll tell you I mean, she doesn't, she doesn't at all anymore.
49:32
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, we established this quite a while ago, but I remember that as being a real thing you know, it's, it's, uh, it's hard.
49:38
Lisa Hopkins: So yeah, yeah.
49:40
Mandi Rose: I think as an empath I can relate to that, because there's a lot of times where someone will call you just to vent and stuff, but then, like I'll take on all of their emotions that they're holding.
49:53
Mandi Rose: And then by the time we're done with it.
49:54
Mandi Rose: I'm exhausted or just different things like that it's it.
50:00
Mandi Rose: It can get kind of stressful, but there's a quote that I can't take credit for it, but I don't know who said it or I'm probably paraphrasing, but it's boundaries are meant to keep the people in your life closer, not to push them away.
50:13
Mandi Rose: It's intended to set a good, strong environment for yourself, so that way you can continue to let the good people in.
50:23
Mandi Rose: I love that.
50:25
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, 100%.
50:28
Lisa Hopkins: It makes perfect sense, right.
50:30
Mandi Rose: Yeah.
50:30
Mandi Rose: So I have a question for you as we're wrapping this up.
50:34
Mandi Rose: Say, you get a new client and they are just feeling so stuck in their life.
50:40
Mandi Rose: They hate their job.
50:41
Mandi Rose: Home life's a mess.
50:42
Mandi Rose: They're just feeling that they know that there's more out there for them, but they can't figure out what it is that they want to do.
50:51
Mandi Rose: They want to create a life of their own design.
50:53
Mandi Rose: Where do they?
50:55
Lisa Hopkins: start, you start asking why is that important to you, first of all?
51:02
Lisa Hopkins: And we go there, why is that important to you?
51:05
Lisa Hopkins: I get that you want, you know, get that you want, you know that you want to do that.
51:09
Lisa Hopkins: I think it's really important because I think a lot of people feel frantic, right, I, you know, as a coach, I don't know the answers.
51:19
Lisa Hopkins: You know the answers and, um, I don't think you have a problem.
51:24
Lisa Hopkins: Um, you know or need fixing, but my expertise is being actually completely detached, you know, to saying in a way that I'm not going to lead you, I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do or this is what I do, you know.
51:39
Lisa Hopkins: Therefore, why don't you try this?
51:41
Lisa Hopkins: Not at all.
51:42
Lisa Hopkins: So we would literally dig into what stories are you telling yourself currently?
51:48
Lisa Hopkins: And we, we probably jump into that, into you know, and and literally from a question like why is that important to you?
51:55
Lisa Hopkins: You know, I would, I would sort of keep digging, digging into that, asking them questions that they never asked themselves, right, I mean, and everybody knows that, I think pretty much it's pretty safe to say that if you asked and took a survey, everybody would say, yeah, I want to live a life that I create myself.
52:13
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, right.
52:15
Lisa Hopkins: Their next question is well, how do I do that, right?
52:18
Lisa Hopkins: Well, how do you do that?
52:20
Lisa Hopkins: Let's bounce the ball back, right.
52:22
Lisa Hopkins: And then you start to move them from you know I often say, you know, moving from probability right, probably, you know.
52:26
Lisa Hopkins: I have to say, you know, moving from probability right, probably, you know it's going to be like this to possibility, literally.
52:34
Lisa Hopkins: So it's moving them into the land of possibility.
52:37
Lisa Hopkins: But your land of possibility is very different than mine, not because you're more limited than me, but because your life is different.
52:46
Mandi Rose: And our ideas are different.
52:47
Lisa Hopkins: And your ideas are different, and so, again, I would not want to impose anything upon you, but I am really good at bringing out you know, and seeing your genius and and and helping you cultivate that so that you can then go ahead and make your own.
53:00
Lisa Hopkins: You know, figure it out like I don't do 12-step plans with people.
53:04
Lisa Hopkins: I mean I could, but I don't be a real friggin waste of your money with me.
53:07
Lisa Hopkins: You know what I mean.
53:08
Lisa Hopkins: I'm super intuitive.
53:09
Lisa Hopkins: I would challenge them, I would support them, champion them, obviously, but yeah, so I don't know if that answers your question, but that's.
53:19
Mandi Rose: It does Well, and I was hoping that you would say something along the lines of mindset, because I think that that's where you start.
53:25
Mandi Rose: If someone comes to you and they're like I hate my life, I hate this job, I hate this, like I hate, everything they use is the hate.
53:35
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah.
53:35
Mandi Rose: We need to change that narrative.
53:37
Mandi Rose: What is it that you do enjoy?
53:38
Mandi Rose: What are the blessings that come from having this job?
53:41
Mandi Rose: Could there be other options?
53:43
Lisa Hopkins: You know, and I would, yeah, no for sure, and yeah, re-scripting, changing the narrative, for sure, and I would never say we need to or you have to, though I would never say that I would get into the why are you telling yourself that?
53:57
Lisa Hopkins: Where is that coming from?
53:59
Lisa Hopkins: Not because I want to analyze you, right, so it's not like therapy, but you know what might another point of view be, what might another way of looking at it.
54:08
Lisa Hopkins: You know we'd sort of cull.
54:10
Lisa Hopkins: You know we'd cull from it.
54:14
Lisa Hopkins: So we would never say stop doing that.
54:16
Lisa Hopkins: I believe again in energy and I believe that any energy we spend trying to get rid of thoughts is the wrong thing to do, because then you're giving significance to the thoughts and they're just thoughts, in the words of Susan David, they're not directives, they're thoughts, they're just energy.
54:34
Lisa Hopkins: So you can get curious about the thought and invite it in and go hey, and ultimately you're going to find, you're going to figure out that those thoughts that you created were there and they actually probably helped you once they actually thought they were helping you or did help you.
54:49
Lisa Hopkins: And the reframe and the re-script comes in.
54:54
Lisa Hopkins: I'd love for you.
54:56
Lisa Hopkins: I'm recasting you In my language.
54:58
Lisa Hopkins: I'm recasting you.
54:59
Lisa Hopkins: I've got a great new role for you.
55:00
Lisa Hopkins: As opposed to saying you've been canceled, man, you're out, I don't need you anymore, it's like, no, I do need you, but I don't need you in that capacity because I want all of my energy and so, let's you know, could you say this and then you?
55:15
Lisa Hopkins: Then you re-script it together.
55:15
Lisa Hopkins: Does that make?
55:16
Mandi Rose: sense.
55:16
Mandi Rose: Yes, it does make sense.
55:17
Mandi Rose: And I love the narrative that you have here because it's it's not a.
55:21
Mandi Rose: It takes all of the pressure out of everything that we think we should be doing.
55:25
Mandi Rose: Like it's it takes all of the pressure out of we need to.
55:32
Mandi Rose: I have to those types of words and I really love the practice that you've put in with using that type of narrative, just even in this conversation, but probably throughout your whole life you've been working on that, because that's something that's a new thing for me and to to hear people catch me in those types of words.
55:48
Mandi Rose: I love when they call me out because it's like you don't need to you, you get to where you want to.
55:53
Lisa Hopkins: I mean want.
55:54
Lisa Hopkins: There's nothing wrong with wanting either, by the way.
55:56
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, you know what I mean yeah, I think wanting is a direct invitation, like asking the universe for it, like yeah and I think if you want to do something, that's cool and then it, then it invites why and it invites how and invites all those things, but it keeps you in your power.
56:12
Lisa Hopkins: Your power is not, you know, here I am, you know your power is in choice, literally, I believe.
56:19
Lisa Hopkins: And and the I get to thing is not meant to say you know, okay, well, just you know, just say it, say it, say it Do you know, make you, do you know?
56:27
Lisa Hopkins: I mean, you know it's, it's it's again, because it's choice with gratitude, at least in my model, it's choice with gratitude.
56:33
Lisa Hopkins: That's what I get to is it means you're at choice with gratitude, right?
56:37
Lisa Hopkins: So when you it's, it really works well.
56:39
Lisa Hopkins: Like I said, when you're doing something that you know you're going to do, you've chosen to do it, you haven't said I'm not going to do it and it might not be something you want to do, like taxes, particularly like taxes is such a good example, right?
56:54
Lisa Hopkins: So then, yeah, you get into the how anyways.
56:59
Mandi Rose: It reminds me of Liz Gilbert's narrative on fear.
57:01
Mandi Rose: Like fear has a place and fear is really good at its job.
57:04
Mandi Rose: Because fear is, there's a place for it, because it keeps you safe and you know all the things.
57:09
Mandi Rose: But you can't let fear drive all of your decisions.
57:14
Mandi Rose: Um no, it doesn't even get to touch the radio when you go on a road trip with fear, it gets to hang out in the back seat, but it's always welcome.
57:20
Mandi Rose: Yeah, it's always welcome, but it has to hang out in the back seat yeah, or or you give it a different.
57:26
Lisa Hopkins: You know it can sit in the front seat, but just say something else and let it navigate a little bit.
57:30
Lisa Hopkins: Let it navigate to where you want to go.
57:31
Lisa Hopkins: How about that?
57:33
Lisa Hopkins: You know what I mean, cause you want it there.
57:36
Lisa Hopkins: If you know to for discernment, you want it there to to help you out, but not not.
57:42
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, everything is not, is not fearful, but it's data, right, it's all about.
57:45
Lisa Hopkins: You know, your brain is just based on data and so if you say you know I want to not, if you say I want to not fail, it's going to call like AI is going to say okay, these are all the things that fit, this is how she's failed in her life before, so we're going to avoid those things.
58:06
Lisa Hopkins: That's why it says don't do that, and then you go no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
58:11
Lisa Hopkins: It's old news, old data.
58:12
Lisa Hopkins: I actually can do this now.
58:13
Lisa Hopkins: I actually am really good at speaking.
58:14
Lisa Hopkins: I know.
58:15
Lisa Hopkins: I know that when I was 10, I peed my pants on stage or whatever it might be, and it was really embarrassing, you know, and I and I lost all my friends and whatever, but I'm, I'm cool now.
58:24
Lisa Hopkins: So that's old data, so that's.
58:27
Lisa Hopkins: Does that make sense?
58:34
Mandi Rose: I actually really love that, too, because the things that I'm wanting to start doing again is like teaching art classes online, and I might dip into coaching a little bit and see where I want to go with it, but it's really what I really want to be doing right now is teaching art classes online, and I did that once I started it in 2020.
58:50
Mandi Rose: And then, um, really, I think just life got.
58:55
Mandi Rose: I think I look back at it now in retrospect and I can look at it and go.
58:59
Mandi Rose: The universe needed me to go through some other things before it was my time for this, like it.
59:06
Mandi Rose: It's not necessarily that I failed.
59:08
Mandi Rose: It was that we chose to stop doing it.
59:10
Mandi Rose: We chose to go somewhere else, like divorce, all of that.
59:15
Mandi Rose: I needed to go through all of those things to find a better version of myself and let evolution take its place, for me to be able to fully engage in this and not have anything hold me back.
59:28
Mandi Rose: It's like I needed the runways cleared a little bit before I could.
59:30
Lisa Hopkins: There you go, there you go.
59:31
Lisa Hopkins: I love that.
59:32
Mandi Rose: Yeah, I try not to look back and go.
59:35
Mandi Rose: Oh, I wish I would have never stopped doing this, because I was doing this four years ago and I stopped doing it and now I've got to rebuild.
59:42
Mandi Rose: And I try not to get into that narrative, but there is sometimes that I do, like man.
59:47
Mandi Rose: I just wish I wouldn't have stopped.
59:48
Mandi Rose: Could you imagine how?
59:49
Mandi Rose: But that's useless, it's so useless right, it is, it's a useless energy.
59:53
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, yeah, you get to start now.
59:55
Mandi Rose: You don't have to, but you get to if you want to do you want to and like how much better it can be than what it was, then with all the new knowledge, it'll be different, yeah.
1:00:03
Lisa Hopkins: You don't know what it would have been like then.
1:00:04
Lisa Hopkins: It might have been fine, yeah, but it's.
1:00:07
Lisa Hopkins: It's going to be unique now and it's going to be new and that's cool, right?
1:00:11
Lisa Hopkins: Hey, I was gonna.
1:00:12
Lisa Hopkins: I was gonna ask you before we sign off.
1:00:13
Lisa Hopkins: You had asked me to introduce myself and it occurred to me that, um, would it be?
1:00:18
Lisa Hopkins: How about I read just a tiny bit of my introduction in my book?
1:00:23
Mandi Rose: oh, I would love that yeah, would that be okay?
1:00:26
Mandi Rose: Usually what the last question I ask is if people want to get in touch with you and how they do that.
1:00:30
Mandi Rose: So if you want to read your book and then do that, I think that's a great idea.
1:00:34
Lisa Hopkins: Are you sure?
1:00:34
Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, okay, perfect, I love it.
1:00:36
Lisa Hopkins: Let me just grab this.
1:00:37
Lisa Hopkins: Let's see if I have it here.
1:00:39
Lisa Hopkins: Living in the moment has always come naturally to me.
1:00:42
Lisa Hopkins: Ever since I can remember, it's been second nature.
1:00:46
Lisa Hopkins: I could always see the possibility in each moment, and even when the moments were less than ideal, it was easy for me to find my light in the darkness, like glow-in-the-dark tape on the theatrical stage of life.
1:00:59
Lisa Hopkins: For the longest time, I assumed that others were able to do the same, and when they couldn't, it frustrated me.
1:01:07
Lisa Hopkins: It wasn't until I became a life coach that I discovered there was a way to share and express my gift of living in the moment in a more tangible way, beyond the proscenium.
1:01:21
Lisa Hopkins: In many ways, my lifelong career in the performing arts was all about the places where there are spaces.
1:01:26
Lisa Hopkins: In theater, we begin with an empty space, and the way we position or place the actors and scenery on the stage creates relationships and evokes meaning.
1:01:36
Lisa Hopkins: In dance class, as in life, I was always drawn toward exploring and experiencing the spaces between the leaping and the landing, spaces between the leaping and the landing.
1:01:50
Lisa Hopkins: Both as a student and as a teacher, my choreography was filled with space that allowed an invited perspective, energy and breath.
1:01:57
Lisa Hopkins: This has been a long time coming.
1:01:59
Lisa Hopkins: In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's been inside me all along.
1:02:02
Lisa Hopkins: In any case, it is literally a place where there was a space and I've chosen to be in moment and fill it unconditionally, trusting the process as I share some concepts and ideas I've learned along the way, inquiry and musings that I have gathered in my journey, many of which were created or rewritten while staying in place in the Laurentian mountains of Quebec during the global pandemic Some are shared lessons, while others are more practical coaching exercises.
1:02:27
Lisa Hopkins: Pandemic Some are shared lessons, while others are more practical coaching exercises.
1:02:32
Lisa Hopkins: Intrigued, I hope so.
1:02:37
Lisa Hopkins: So this book is not just a reflection of my journey, but a guide to help you navigate your own paths more creatively and mindfully.
1:02:39
Lisa Hopkins: And there's journaling too, which is super cool.
1:02:41
Lisa Hopkins: So I encourage you and Mandy and your listeners and anyone who wants to have it in a book club.
1:02:49
Lisa Hopkins: I am.
1:02:50
Lisa Hopkins: I am all about the conversation, right, so it's not about selling the book, it's about continuing the conversation.
1:02:56
Lisa Hopkins: So, the places where there are spaces, cultivating a life of creative possibilities.
1:03:03
Mandi Rose: Well, my goodness, I just love you and your energy and your soul.
1:03:06
Mandi Rose: This has been absolutely beautiful.
1:03:08
Mandi Rose: Thank you so much for being here, ditto.
1:03:09
Mandi Rose: You'll find me, I love it.
1:03:09
Mandi Rose: I just love you and your energy and your soul.
1:03:10
Mandi Rose: This has been absolutely beautiful.
1:03:11
Mandi Rose: Thank you so much for being here, ditto, you'll find me, I love it.
1:03:15
Mandi Rose: I'm so excited.
1:03:15
Mandi Rose: I was actually going to go place an Amazon order today, so I'm going to add your book to my cart and dive into it because it sounds beautiful.
1:03:20
Lisa Hopkins: You're the best and I would love to hear, I would love to hear your thoughts and reflections, mandy, because, as you know, as a fellow artist and a fellow human, reflections Mandy, because, as a fellow artist and a fellow human, it's always, you know, it's kind of.
1:03:28
Lisa Hopkins: Continues again.
1:03:29
Lisa Hopkins: Continues the conversation.
1:03:31
Mandi Rose: Yeah Well, this was wonderful.
1:03:32
Mandi Rose: I'm so honored to have you here on my podcast and I'm so grateful that you took the time out to meet with me today.
1:03:40
Lisa Hopkins: Thank you so much for being here, ditto.
1:03:41
Lisa Hopkins: You were so well worth waiting for.