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The Warning Signs Of a Narcissist that you might've missed in the beginning · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what are some of the warning signs that somebody you're
• 0:04
  dealing with is a narcissist? Like the warning signs that
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  somebody that you're talking to currently or somebody that
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  you've been talking to for a while or getting trying to get
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  to know, it could be a narcissist or a very highly
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  toxic person. That's what we're talking about
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  today, Y'all? Of course, if you're new here,
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  I'm Lee Hammock, I'm a diagnosed narcissist here to give you an
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  inside look at the mind of a narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:45
  Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
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  As y'all know, I said I'm transitioning to the mental
• 0:51
  illness podcast, all things Lee Hammock, all things narcissism,
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  just doing interviews and having an actual podcast here on the
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  channel. But yes, y'all the warning signs
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  of a highly narcissistic toxic person.
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  What the hell are they? What could, what could they be?
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  I'm glad you asked because the very first warning sign that
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  somebody's a narcissist goes under goes overlooked all the
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  time. Matter of fact, it's probably
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  one of the main things that people talk about but you just
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  don't realize it. It's your intuition.
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  Simply put, your intuition is there to warn you.
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  Your intuition is there to protect you.
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  Your intuition is be be Yeah, the narcissist or you talk to
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  people be setting your intuition off majorly.
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  Yeah. Y'all here?
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  Yeah, like when you, if you're sitting there dealing with
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  somebody right on the first day and all of a sudden you start
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  hearing or like some like a a nuclear, the sounds that a
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  nuclear power plant is about to meltdown or warning signs or
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  police sirens or something like that.
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  In your mind, you're the only person that can hear them.
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  That's your intuition setting off the bells, the warning
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  bells. Your intuition is saying, hey,
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  look, this person might not be it.
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  Hey, look, this person might be toxic as hell.
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  Hey, look, this person probably is not who we need to be with.
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  Probably not who you need to be with.
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  Your intuition is telling you it'd be, it'd be screaming to
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  the rooftop from the rooftop. It's like, leave them alone,
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  please. And so many people ignore it.
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  So many people. What's that sound?
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  What's what's that bell? What's that warning noises, Huh?
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  I don't, I don't get it. I don't have no idea what it is.
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  And then you come to realize that it's the narcissistic
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  person. It's this person in front of you
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  setting you off. You get us your sixth sense
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  about this person is going off, but you shake it off.
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  You tell yourself that you're overreacting.
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  You tell yourself that you maybe you're wrong, like you've been a
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  bad judge of people in the past. So this is just something
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  similar to that, to that, right? No, your intuition probably
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  gives you is the first warning sign that most people that have
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  dealt with a narcissist by like that have dealt with a
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  narcissist by choice. What I mean by choice is that
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  it's not your parent or your sibling, right?
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  Or somebody that you cannot avoid somebody that you grow up
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  in a household with, right? Not a parental figure, like
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  boyfriend, girlfriend, dating, whatever the case may be, right.
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  People that you can avoid. Like people ignore their
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  intuition so much and they yeah, so many people regret it.
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  It's not just one of those things where you you regret like
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  you ignore your intuition and you just like, you know what?
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  I'm so happy I ignore my intuition.
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  It's it just kept me safe. Just hope.
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  No. Most people that I talked to,
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  they ignored their intuition that ignored that, that feeling
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  in the pit of their stomach that ignored that, ignored that.
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  This, the feeling that just did this just didn't feel right.
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  Most people regret, end up regretting it hugely in the
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  future. Like they, they super regret it.
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  They cannot. Like I can't believe.
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  I can't believe I ignored this. I can't believe I overlooked
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  this. I can't believe I did this.
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  I can't believe I did that. Which is understandable and
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  trust me when I say I get it, I 100% get it.
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  I understand it. And that's why it's so
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  frustrating when people are dealing with narcissists and you
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  get, you just get bamboozled. You just do.
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  So trust your intuition. That's a warning sign.
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  Your intuition is there to protect you, right?
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  Not let you go astray. All right, the next warning sign
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  that someone could be a narcissist or a very highly
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  toxic person is they talk about themselves a lot.
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  I'm, I'm not going to dive too deeply into this one right here,
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  because I think this is one of the telltale signs that most
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  people know. They just continuously talk
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  about themselves, right? They talk about themselves,
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  their achievements, blah, blah, blah, they try to impress you,
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  blah, blah, blah. They've they learn, they listen.
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  They it sound like it's like they on a date by themselves,
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  right? They're talking to themselves
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  the whole time. They talk about themselves and
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  like you really don't need to be there because the conversation
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  is all about them. You, you feel like, damn, I, you
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  know what, I can disappear right now and they would still be
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  talking because they're not worried about me.
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  They can date themselves. That's a warning sign right
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  there, y'all. But on the flip side of it not
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  talking a lot, it's also a warning sign as well.
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  Some narcissists are very good listeners.
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  Not some. I've said a lot of narcissists
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  are very good listeners, very analytical people that want to
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  get to know every little thing about you like a warning sign.
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  It's you feeling just too good. You trusting this person too
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  much. Like y'all, I don't give a damn
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  how good the first date is going.
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  You should not be trauma dumping to this person.
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  We should not be sharing share. We should not be sharing trauma
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  stories on the first date. That's just my opinion right
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  there. Like we just get to know each
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  other. We should not be sharing trauma
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  on the first date. Like you know what?
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  Let's share this trauma. No, that's the first y'all, the
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  first date. Come on now, come on lying.
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  No, not the first date. That doesn't help anybody out
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  but the narcissist right You trauma dub it on the first date
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  only helps the narcissist. It only helps them.
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  It only keeps them here. It only allows them the peace
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  and the tranquility right to move forward.
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  You know it gives them more information to use against you
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  later on. And sometimes narcissist lie
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  about their damn trauma, you'll share a traumatic experience or
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  deep dark secret and they'll share something similar, right?
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  It's just we're kindred Spears. We have the same very similar
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  stories. And it turns out they lied.
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  They don't have the same story. They lying their ass off to you
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  to get you to feel sorry for them too.
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  Come on, man, you know what I mean?
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  But this is how it goes. This is what this is the process
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  that so many people go through right here.
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  Trust your you want to trust your intuition, of course,
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  right? But when you're dealing with
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  this type of person, you also have to be able to discern like
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  I'm over sharing. They're not sharing anything
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  with me, which can be weird, right?
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  Because sometimes you're so used to people over talking you and
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  only talk about themselves. It feels great for have to have
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  somebody listen to you for once, doesn't it?
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  I also understand that it feels amazing to have someone
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  listening to you for once, doesn't it?
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  Yes, it absolutely does. But that's the thing right
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  there. That's the caveat.
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  You got to be careful because they're listening to use it
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  against you. They're not listening because
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  they care so much and they're so interested.
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  They're listening to use it against you later on and to
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  create the mask. You help them create the mask by
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  get over share it and giving them more information than what
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  is necessary. Y'all, I truly, I promise you
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  that's where it goes. I promise you.
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  You mean the next warning sign, y'all?
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  And this could be a warning sign that everybody know about.
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  If you don't know about it, you got to know about it.
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  Yes. Y'all see back in my head.
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  No dress, I cut my hair, but yeah, baby lying.
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  Y'all. I don't give a damn how cute
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  this person is, how fat the butt is, how handsome they are, how
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  much money they. I don't care if they are lying.
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  They ass off to you on the first date.
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  What do you think they're going to do on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th date
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  down the road when you have kids down, when they're late out late
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  at night? You think they'll be telling you
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  the truth about where they are? People that lie to you upfront
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  have the tendency, the huge have a huge tendency to lie to you
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  later on. If you catch them in a little
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  unnecessary lie to leave them alone.
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  Y'all it's unnecessary. I'm just let's say now all there
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  are people out there that just lie just accidentally like
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  they've missed they miss misrepresent something.
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  Yeah, but there's a difference between misrepresenting
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  something and flat out lying. Mr. A flat out lie is saying
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  that there's a misrepresenting something.
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  Oh, I'm married, but we sleeping separate.
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  We sleeping separate rooms. That's a lot.
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  That's misrepresenting the marriage.
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  A lie is I'm not married at all. You something like y'all just
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  got to be careful. If they lie up front, they will
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  lie later on. You, y'all, you, we, we, I'm
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  going to clue myself in this. We have to use better
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  discernment, right? Because this is not just a
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  boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife type of thing.
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  Even when you get into getting to know new people, if they're
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  telling you lies in the beginning, what do you think
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  they're going to do later on? If you get to getting to know
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  people on a friendship level, what the hell do you think
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  they're going to do later on? If they're lying to you up front
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  and so cavalier, what do you think they're going to do later
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  on, huh? You see what I'm saying?
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  This is what we have. This is what you're up against
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  out here in this wild, Wild West, a wild, wild world of
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  dealing with toxic, manipulative, abusive people.
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  They're going to give you warning signs up front, but it's
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  up to you to follow to, to just understand these signs right
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  here, y'all, to understand that these are actually warning signs
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  and to act on them, right? To act on them.
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  That's what you have to do. That's what is needed.
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  Because once you see the warning signs, right, once you see the
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  warning signs and some of them I, I can't mention all the
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  warning signs in one video. Y'all have to do a whole series
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  on this. Once you see the warning signs,
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  it's up to you to act on it, right?
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  It's up to you to to be able to this use discernment to separate
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  yourself from this person if at all possible.
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  Now, if you have a business relationship with this person,
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  you know, you got to be be on your P's and Q's.
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  If you can't cut this person out of your life, you know you got
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  to be on your PS and QS. This is your mother-in-law,
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  father-in-law, whoever it is like damn my father-in-law be
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  lying his ass off. Damn.
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  My mother-in-law is a bat shit crazy narcissist.
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  And I know it's going to be very difficult to for me to to
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  convince my partner that their mom is crazy as hell, right?
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  Yeah. So you have to make a plan in
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  these situations. You have to get it.
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  Take stay one step ahead. You have to understand your
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  target or your opponent in this situation and be able to use
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  your discernment to if it's possible to leave them alone.
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  Y'all, there's more than one date out there, right?
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  There's more people out there to date.
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  Everybody ain't in a relationship and not everybody's
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  a not. Not everyone is a narcissist or
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  her line their asses off to be manipulative.
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  That's just not true. You mean that's just not the
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  truth right there. So it's up to you to determine
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  it. It's up to you to use your power
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  to cut this person off like I look.
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  And This is why it's so important when you have, when
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  you see the warning signs and you decide to cut a person off
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  when you first get to know them. I don't think that everybody is
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  deserving of a second chance. Well, Lee, why not?
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  Because when you get them, if you give them after the first
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  time, when they show you who they really are, the second
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  opportunity you give them of course, is going to be better
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  most time, right? Why wouldn't it be better?
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  You have now given me to me the blueprint to manipulate you.
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  Oh, you don't like when I said this or did this, even though
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  that's what I really like to do. I'm going to pretend like I
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  don't like that in order to get you, in order to manipulate you,
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  you're just giving people more opportunities to create a better
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  mask to manipulate you. And then guess what happened two
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  years down the road, 3 years down the road, y'all got kids,
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  y'all got businesses together, Y'all don't got married or
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  whatever the case may be. Y'all live together, Y'all
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  bought a house together, Y'all cosign this for shit.
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  Guess what? This time down the road, they
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  ripped the carpet. They ripped the carpet off from
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  under your feet and drop you on top of your damn head and now
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  you're confused and acting like I don't.
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  I never saw they're coming. You see what I'm saying?
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  This is what they're going to do to you.
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  This is what they do. This is why you have to be so
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  prepared and so ready. Because the more the less you
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  are, the more prepared you are to act, the more prepared you
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  are. It just allows you.
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  It's easier to escape early on. It's more difficult to leave
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  this person alone years down the road.
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  It just is before you actually get to really in depth with this
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  person or start sharing bodily fluids, whatever the hell y'all
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  be out here doing these days, get to know the person first.
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  Make sure this person is not a danger to you, Not only you, but
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  your children or whoever you whoever's lives you're bringing
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  them into. Because if you already have
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  kids, you have a family or you have a business or whatever the
• 12:59
  case may be, you have a house and you're bringing this person
• 13:02
  into your life. That's why it's so important.
• 13:04
  Y'all sidebar, sidebar to me gonna get out of here.
• 13:08
  If you have children and you're, you see this part, you ignoring
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  the warning signs, you bringing abusive people around your
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  children, Come wait, we got to wake the fuck up.
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  Now, if you notice this person is being they're yelling at the
• 13:21
  waiter, they're being aggressive at the waiter, they're being
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  manipulative, they're lying. They have a track record of
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  domestic violence or domestic abuse or something like that.
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  They're they're an addict or something like that.
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  And you willfully bringing them around your children and keeping
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  them around your kids. Come on now, come on.
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  Sometimes you just need a wake up call because narcissists
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  don't give a damn about your kids or how your kids feel about
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  them. They're going to try to isolate
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  you away from there. They're going to try to get you
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  to send the kids to the dad's house or to the mom's house.
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  They're going to try to separate their relationship and will.
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  And are some some people out here that are willing to send
• 13:53
  their kids away to keep their partner around?
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  Yes, I've talked to them all the time and I'll do my one on ones
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  I try to give them and wake up they will you.
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  If you send your kids away for this man, your kids are probably
• 14:03
  never going to talk to you again.
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  Or is this man or this woman worth it?
• 14:07
  Oh, damn, Lee, I didn't think about it like that.
• 14:09
  Yeah. Why?
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  Because you're you're smitten, Because you're trauma bonded,
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  Because you've been manipulated. That's what my one on ones are
• 14:15
  for you. I don't want my one on ones over
• 14:17
  Zoom or wake up calls for people.
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  I've, I've had, I've helped wake up thousands of people over the
• 14:21
  last few years, y'all. And I've gotten good at it.
• 14:23
  That's what my courses are for as well.
• 14:25
  Go to my go to my website, mentalillness.net.
• 14:27
  Go to my courses. Check my courses out.
• 14:29
  You get the courses for 50% off into the code mothers or fathers
• 14:33
  and you get the courses for 50% off and they can help wake you
• 14:36
  up too and protect yourself, protect your kids down the road.
• 14:38
  Y'all sorry y'all had the event and get that out my system hit
• 14:42
  the subscribe button. You haven't already.
• 14:44
  The podcast is launching soon. Y'all.
• 14:46
  The mental illness podcast is launching soon.
• 14:48
  Got plenty of stories to share with y'all.
• 14:50
  I love y'all. I'm so grateful that y'all been
• 14:52
  along been on on this ride with me.
• 14:54
  I'm thankful for you and as always y'all as always been
• 14:56
  doing this out Peace.