Latest / Smart Business Growth with Nicky Miklós / Mauling Your Mojo: How to Stop the Negative Narratives with Maree McPherson

Transcript

Mauling Your Mojo: How to Stop the Negative Narratives with Maree McPherson · Smart Business Growth with Nicky Miklós

• 0:04
  Nicky: Welcome to Thrive in Business Together with Nicky and Ness.
• 0:11
  Ness: We would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of country, the Yagara and Bannerong people of Brisbane and Melbourne respectively, where Nicky and I both work and live.
• 0:25
  Nicky: Hello, hello, beautiful listeners, we are jumping in with a quick message of festive cheer for you today.
• 0:33
  Nicky: Happy holiday season, happy festive season.
• 0:36
  Nicky: We want to thank you so much for tuning in Every week.
• 0:40
  Nicky: I'm sure you've been tuning in every week, haven't you?
• 0:42
  Nicky: Yes, we want to thank you for listening to us have our what we think are really inspiring, amazing conversations.
• 0:49
  Nicky: We want to thank all of our incredible guests that have also joined us this year.
• 0:54
  Nicky: We are going to take a little break, but I'm going to let Ness fill you in on that.
• 0:57
  Nicky: We already can't wait to come back and do it all again with you next year.
• 1:01
  Nicky: Ness, I'll hand over to you to give your festive cheer and give a little update on what we're going to be up to.
• 1:07
  Ness: Thank you, Nicky, thank you everyone.
• 1:09
  Ness: I reiterate it we are so grateful that you have chosen to listen to us this year and have tuned in through your ePods or wherever you're listening in your car or at your home.
• 1:19
  Ness: Again, thank you to our amazing guests.
• 1:23
  Ness: We are so excited to bring you more of the same next year, and we are prioritising life for the next four weeks and we're going to be taking a break.
• 1:33
  Ness: So something that we do talk to our clients about and we live and breathe is this ability to create a business on your own terms that allows the balance that everybody's looking for.
• 1:44
  Ness: So we are going to have an amazing break over this Christmas period and early January, and we will be back in your podcast feed mid January.
• 1:54
  Ness: So please keep an ear out and eye out Everything looking out for us again as we come back and kick off the new year.
• 2:01
  Ness: Very exciting to be able to do it all again next year and trust that you're going to pop back in and continue to listen.
• 2:08
  Ness: Have a beautiful break.
• 2:09
  Nicky: I hope that you are all also taking our lead, having some unplugged, unswitched time.
• 2:17
  Nicky: Time off Time off Time off Time off, time off.
• 2:23
  Nicky: Time off.
• 2:24
  Nicky: That's the one.
• 2:24
  Ness: To relax.
• 2:25
  Ness: To relax, yeah, bye, bye.
• 2:27
  Ness: Today's guest, marie McPherson, believes that impact follows insight.
• 2:33
  Ness: With over 35 years of leadership experience and time as a chief executive in a peak body and regional development organisation, ambitious individuals and leading organisations regularly seek out Marie's expertise.
• 2:46
  Ness: Her proven strategy for creating clarity that drives certainty helps leaders and teams thrive.
• 2:52
  Ness: She achieves this through executive and organisational coaching, in which she holds postgraduate training.
• 2:58
  Ness: She founded her coaching and training company back in 2014 and has since authored two books, including Worthy, which was shortlisted in the Australian Business Book Awards of 2022.
• 3:09
  Ness: In January of this year, 2023, marie received an Medal of the Order of Australia General Division for her service to community through various organisations.
• 3:20
  Ness: She is an amazing person to talk to, and just today's conversation was outstanding.
• 3:25
  Ness: It centres around this concept of being worthy and to be so.
• 3:29
  Ness: Marie believes we need to stop mauling our mojo, but she's going to explain what that means.
• 3:35
  Ness: We talk about how we need to ask higher quality questions and really lean into the power of pausing.
• 3:41
  Ness: Do you want to hear more?
• 3:43
  Ness: Well, let's jump straight in and hear what Marie has to share.
• 3:46
  Ness: Marie, your latest book, worthy, is all about how to stop mauling our mojo Now.
• 3:52
  Ness: I found that such an interesting concept that, as women, we tend to maul our mojo.
• 3:57
  Ness: So can you please explain for our listeners and viewers what exactly do you mean by that Ness?
• 4:04
  Ness: What?
• 4:04
  Maree McPherson: a great question.
• 4:06
  Maree McPherson: What I mean by that phrase is that it's time for us to stop the negative narratives that we carry in our minds, and this is not generically about women.
• 4:19
  Maree McPherson: I've met lots of people across all genders who do this.
• 4:23
  Maree McPherson: However, I think it's fair to say and the research backs me up internationally that women are renowned for mauling their mojo.
• 4:31
  Maree McPherson: So what I'm talking about here is the comparisons that we make with other people, whether they be our closest friends, members of our family, people we've never met before.
• 4:41
  Maree McPherson: That we might see on social media the internal narrative that we start from very early in life around.
• 4:48
  Maree McPherson: I'm not enough of Insert your choice of word here.
• 4:52
  Maree McPherson: So for me it's so important that we reframe that, change it, stop it as much as possible.
• 5:00
  Maree McPherson: You know, we humans it's impossible to turn it off entirely, and occasionally it can serve us very, very well.
• 5:07
  Maree McPherson: So it's about knowing when to channel that energy in a way that is useful and when to turn it off because it's not helpful.
• 5:15
  Maree McPherson: When is it useful?
• 5:16
  Maree McPherson: I think comparison is really useful when we use it to set goals for ourselves.
• 5:24
  Maree McPherson: So I think the negativity is never particularly useful, but I think those of us who self-criticise can use that as an insight into what's going on here.
• 5:34
  Maree McPherson: What am I actually striving for?
• 5:37
  Maree McPherson: What is it that I'm thinking about that is making me frame this as a negative.
• 5:42
  Maree McPherson: So it's a little bit like the old Buddhist philosophy of inviting the inner critic to come to tea.
• 5:48
  Maree McPherson: Open the door, welcome them in, sit down together.
• 5:51
  Maree McPherson: You know what is this.
• 5:53
  Maree McPherson: What is it that you'd like to tell me?
• 5:55
  Maree McPherson: And if it's all about criticism, then off you go.
• 5:58
  Maree McPherson: You've had your cup of tea, now you can leave.
• 6:00
  Maree McPherson: But if it's got some particular useful insight there's a hint for me here and grow from that.
• 6:08
  Maree McPherson: So I think sometimes this stuff is really helpful for us.
• 6:12
  Nicky: I love the analogy of inviting it in for a cup of tea because it reminds me of this whole thing around so many other aspects of our life, like fear.
• 6:22
  Nicky: If we try to push it away, it just gets bigger, it gets louder, it gets rowdier.
• 6:28
  Nicky: The inner critic is the same.
• 6:29
  Nicky: We talk a lot with this in the work that we do with clients.
• 6:33
  Nicky: If we completely ignore it, it's like that little kid that's tugging on your pant leg or your skirt leg and it gets louder.
• 6:39
  Nicky: But if you stop everything and give it all the attention every time it speaks to you, you're creating a little monster.
• 6:46
  Nicky: You know you're overvalidating it and so it's not about a push.
• 6:50
  Nicky: It's about there's a sense of, even though we can never truly controlled, one thing we control is our mindset, our thoughts, our feelings.
• 6:58
  Nicky: You just damn hard.
• 6:59
  Nicky: Sometimes.
• 7:00
  Nicky: There is a sense of you're getting control back in this space.
• 7:04
  Nicky: It's almost like it's on your terms and the curiosity perhaps helps some of those negative or emotionally charged feelings and thoughts, even in the process itself.
• 7:16
  Nicky: I feel like that's going to help move through some of these emotions and things that are holding us back.
• 7:22
  Maree McPherson: I love what you said about it being on your terms, because that's exactly right.
• 7:26
  Maree McPherson: Like coming back to Ness's first question around molling our mojo.
• 7:31
  Maree McPherson: It really is about re-establishing on our terms.
• 7:34
  Maree McPherson: You know how do I want to talk to myself.
• 7:37
  Maree McPherson: What's useful here, and this is you know, we've all read those books with the NAF suggestions of getting up in the morning and looking at yourself in the mirror and saying I love you.
• 7:49
  Maree McPherson: Like how much does that want to make you put your fingers down your throat?
• 7:53
  Maree McPherson: Is it just me?
• 7:55
  Maree McPherson: But there is something very affirming about saying today is going to be on my terms.
• 8:00
  Maree McPherson: A whole lot of stuff might go wrong, but a whole lot of things will go right.
• 8:04
  Maree McPherson: And I'm ace, like I've got this.
• 8:07
  Maree McPherson: And you know, it's not about faking it till you make it.
• 8:11
  Maree McPherson: It is actually believing.
• 8:12
  Maree McPherson: Today is not the first time that I've got out of bed and done these things.
• 8:16
  Maree McPherson: I'm well practised, I'm well versed, I've got these skills.
• 8:20
  Maree McPherson: I've done all these things in life already.
• 8:23
  Maree McPherson: My mojo is pretty good.
• 8:24
  Maree McPherson: So this might be a new experience, but I've done many of the things that are similar to this and I'll be OK.
• 8:32
  Maree McPherson: You know it's what is the worst thing that can happen.
• 8:35
  Maree McPherson: I'll fail OK, and that will be a learning experience.
• 8:38
  Maree McPherson: I know that sounds so cliched, but it bloody works.
• 8:43
  Nicky: Yeah, I think the biggest barrier sometimes is actually remembering this stuff in the moment.
• 8:49
  Nicky: You know, actually it can make sense and sometimes it's hard in the moment.
• 8:54
  Nicky: That's why it's the work that we do and that reframe, and focusing on not what hasn't been done but what has been done, or the successes, not just the failures.
• 9:03
  Nicky: You know all of that.
• 9:04
  Nicky: So do you have any tips and tricks up your sleeves?
• 9:06
  Nicky: How do we keep this top of mind so that when we're in the moment, we remember to do the reframes, to ask ourselves these questions?
• 9:16
  Maree McPherson: I reckon my top tip would be to stop for a moment and breathe.
• 9:20
  Maree McPherson: That's a good cure for everything, by the way, but I reckon, in the moment, it's because we're processing so quickly, it's because we're moving so fast and our brains are often in hyperdrive at this point, and so the reminder would be to stop, notice what is my body doing, take a breath, take three.
• 9:42
  Maree McPherson: Okay, what do I need to do now for a bit of self-calming?
• 9:46
  Maree McPherson: I think it's that moment of remembering.
• 9:49
  Maree McPherson: Okay, yes, I've got some tools and tricks.
• 9:53
  Maree McPherson: I know what to do here.
• 9:54
  Maree McPherson: I want to give you an example that might be useful for your listeners.
• 9:59
  Maree McPherson: I have a terrible fear of public speaking, which most people would have no idea about.
• 10:04
  Maree McPherson: Wow, I'm often a podcast guest.
• 10:07
  Maree McPherson: I deliver webinars online.
• 10:09
  Maree McPherson: I can get up and present in front of thousands of people, I can see conferences, but inside I am like that three-year-old going Mummy, mummy, stop it now.
• 10:19
  Maree McPherson: And I've had to practice.
• 10:21
  Maree McPherson: I've had to really overcome that fear, as so many people do, and I remember having to give a presentation some years back, and I was saying to my EA Lacey, I'm so nervous.
• 10:33
  Maree McPherson: And she said tell me what the nerves are about.
• 10:35
  Maree McPherson: Said because I've never done anything like this before.
• 10:38
  Maree McPherson: And she roared laughing and she said I beg your pardon, how many speeches have you given in your career?
• 10:45
  Maree McPherson: Please don't tell me you've never done anything like this before.
• 10:48
  Maree McPherson: Yes, but today is about blah.
• 10:50
  Maree McPherson: She's like yeah, but what have you taught me and all the other women that you've worked with over time?
• 10:58
  Maree McPherson: This is not the first speech you've ever given.
• 11:00
  Maree McPherson: You've given hundreds, so you're going to be OK.
• 11:03
  Maree McPherson: It's just slightly different content.
• 11:05
  Maree McPherson: And it was that moment of remember, remember to breathe and notice what this is about.
• 11:11
  Ness: That's such great advice.
• 11:12
  Ness: I do find that hard to believe because I have seen you present to a large group of people and I think you do amazing work, but it just goes to show that all of us have that something going on that people just assume we don't.
• 11:27
  Ness: It's interesting.
• 11:28
  Ness: As you were talking, I'm thinking about that ability to stop and hear that internal voice.
• 11:34
  Ness: As you said, we often just process and go through really quickly and we don't pause, and I think about some of the clients that we worked with and this whole imposter syndrome comes up and I wonder and I'm curious to hear what your thoughts are on it, mary that if that voice is left unchecked, that it actually spirals us into this misbelief that everybody else has got their shit together and we don't.
• 12:04
  Ness: That.
• 12:05
  Ness: Marie's up there on stage.
• 12:06
  Ness: Look at her, how lucky is she.
• 12:08
  Ness: She's amazing, she can speak to all these people.
• 12:10
  Ness: I could never do that or I'd completely wreck it if it was me.
• 12:14
  Ness: She's so successful in her business you know all of this stuff and that we sit in that room or watching or observing on social media and we think that I'm just not as good as that.
• 12:28
  Ness: I couldn't do that, and I think that what you were saying is we just don't pause.
• 12:34
  Ness: So let me flip it into a question what are your thoughts on marrying this whole imposter syndrome, which is quite a buzzword out there, to this sense of worthiness, to this sense of mauling our mojo?
• 12:48
  Ness: How do they connect?
• 12:51
  Maree McPherson: I really react strongly to the term imposter syndrome.
• 12:55
  Maree McPherson: You may have seen me kind of shudder a bit there because I think it is so overused and I know it's a thing and I know it's a thing people believe that they have and so I don't want to undermine that or discredit it.
• 13:07
  Maree McPherson: But I also think we've overused it so it's become an unhelpful term.
• 13:13
  Maree McPherson: So that put that box aside how.
• 13:17
  Maree McPherson: I think you're right.
• 13:18
  Maree McPherson: If we leave it unchecked, it becomes that self-belief and I guess that my perspective on it would be.
• 13:26
  Maree McPherson: We have so many misconceptions about other people and about ourselves.
• 13:30
  Maree McPherson: In fact, I was running a group coaching session just last week and one of the people in that session asked the most beautiful question, which was what is the biggest misconception people may have about you?
• 13:42
  Maree McPherson: And I thought, oh, I'm storing that one in my toolkit.
• 13:46
  Maree McPherson: That is such a good question and I wonder if, in that moment of taking the three deep breaths and noticing what's going on, maybe people could ask themselves what's a misconception I'm having about myself right now?
• 14:01
  Maree McPherson: What am I believing about myself?
• 14:04
  Maree McPherson: That is not true.
• 14:05
  Maree McPherson: So that's the unchecked bit, isn't it?
• 14:07
  Maree McPherson: If we don't stop and give ourselves that insight, we continue to push those bad feelings away and soldier on resilience.
• 14:17
  Maree McPherson: I've got to knock this out of the way and blow it out of the park.
• 14:20
  Maree McPherson: And whatever standards we've set for ourselves, if we don't meet those, then again we're telling ourselves that negative story.
• 14:28
  Maree McPherson: I wonder if it's about what's the misconception I have about myself right now and the extension of that is what am I believing about other people?
• 14:37
  Maree McPherson: That is highly likely to be untrue.
• 14:41
  Ness: Oh wow, there's such powerful, powerful questions.
• 14:44
  Ness: It's interesting what you say there in relation to, well, the one the power of pause is amazing.
• 14:50
  Ness: Asking ourselves high quality questions is always going to get a better response than asking ourselves a low quality question like what's wrong with me, so what's the misconception that I am believing about myself right now is a really high quality question because it's asking us to look at something in a light that actually is much more, I guess, evidence based or realistic, as opposed to the story we make up in our head.
• 15:18
  Nicky: Are you stuck in the busy trap or on juggle street being all things to all people despite having a team?
• 15:23
  Nicky: Or perhaps your business is feeling chaotic?
• 15:26
  Nicky: Do the mini business health check to get 10 strategies in under 10 minutes so you can get time, freedom back, experience, peak performance and finally leverage smart growth in your business.
• 15:38
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• 15:41
  Nicky: Forward slash health check and, if you're ready for us to help in a more hands on way, email us at hello at business togethercomau and we'll set up a time to chat.
• 15:52
  Ness: My mind's going into this context around, I wonder where it's not stopped and check this misconception about the beliefs we have about ourselves.
• 16:00
  Ness: Sometimes it's comforting to say it's imposter syndrome, because that's something we've heard of and that explains it away.
• 16:08
  Ness: So, okay, it's not great.
• 16:10
  Ness: I know the voices in my head are really negative, but oh, no, no, no, everyone has imposter syndrome, so that must be it.
• 16:16
  Ness: And then just keep moving and there's almost an acceptance that well, if everybody it's something that everybody experiences, then I don't need to really worry about it because it's just what it happens.
• 16:29
  Ness: And so I love what you're saying there around the whole putting it in the box.
• 16:34
  Ness: But I think the box is worth unpacking because when we have a belief and that becomes an identity around, well, this is just who I am right now.
• 16:43
  Ness: That question you asked is so so, so beautiful because it's a.
• 16:47
  Ness: It actually is something you're making up.
• 16:49
  Maree McPherson: It's a misbelief, it's a misbelief and it and I think your point about, you know, just labeling it as imposter syndrome and letting it sit there is really powerful, because, you know, this is about challenging ourselves, isn't it?
• 17:05
  Maree McPherson: And, let's face it, we live in a culture that does not reward us for having high self-esteem.
• 17:11
  Maree McPherson: We're surrounded by images and products and principles that tell us that, you know, we're all a little bit broken and we need fixing.
• 17:20
  Maree McPherson: And so to reject that notion and to say, actually, I'm okay and and I'm quite good at these things and I will be okay, even though this is something new, that is putting a head above the parapet and asking to be kicked in some ways, isn't it?
• 17:35
  Maree McPherson: So I think it requires I think this is where they're taking the three deep breaths and stopping is that opportunity to notice I'm about to do something that is a bit challenging.
• 17:47
  Maree McPherson: I'm about to challenge me, and there may be some consequences with that, but it's who we take ourselves out into the world, as it's not what you do, it's who you be.
• 17:59
  Maree McPherson: How often have we heard that?
• 18:00
  Maree McPherson: But that's really what this worthiness and, you know, getting our mojo back under control is all about.
• 18:09
  Nicky: Wow, like really such an important conversation to be having.
• 18:13
  Nicky: Two things that come up for me there is.
• 18:15
  Nicky: One of them is looking at when you experiencing that feeling of nervousness or fear, even the question there, and Lacey, what she asked you.
• 18:24
  Nicky: What are you really nervous about?
• 18:26
  Nicky: And that's something even personally lately I've been experiencing having some speaking gigs, so it's really interesting hearing you say this and you don't get the nerves.
• 18:33
  Nicky: I'm like, right, how can I work with this instead of against it?
• 18:36
  Nicky: What is it that I'm really nervous about?
• 18:38
  Nicky: Is it the speaking?
• 18:39
  Nicky: Is it the?
• 18:41
  Nicky: Whatever it might be and this is just an example event, but it comes across in so many areas of our life and it is when you can ask yourself that question what am I really nervous about, or fearful, or take the time to also flip that and look at what is the gift in this?
• 18:57
  Nicky: What is it?
• 18:58
  Nicky: What am I learning in this?
• 18:59
  Nicky: What do I need to hear?
• 19:00
  Nicky: This is linked to also the comparison or the inner critic.
• 19:04
  Nicky: Is there something that is constructive I can take away?
• 19:08
  Nicky: But of course, it's like our human nature to just catastrophize everything.
• 19:12
  Nicky: But there could be a little bit of gold in the middle if we take that time to pause.
• 19:16
  Nicky: And the other thing I think is this being different.
• 19:20
  Nicky: And it's scary to be different.
• 19:21
  Nicky: And I'm just started.
• 19:24
  Nicky: There's a book I can't remember what it's called.
• 19:26
  Nicky: I'll put it in the show notes just in case of its interest.
• 19:29
  Nicky: So recently I was diagnosed with ADHD.
• 19:31
  Nicky: One of the lost women over 40s.
• 19:34
  Nicky: It's like, ah, and so I'm doing this workbook.
• 19:37
  Nicky: It's like a book to understand, particularly for women with ADHD, and there's journal questions and things and in there it's saying it's asking questions around.
• 19:48
  Nicky: Do you remember what were your memories as a child of being different?
• 19:52
  Nicky: What was different viewed like in your family, in your culture, in your and I'm thinking of I just was doing this yesterday lying in the hammock, and that's coming up for me as well.
• 20:02
  Nicky: When you're talking about, of course, when we put our head high if no one else is doing it, we're getting ready to get knocked down.
• 20:09
  Nicky: And how have these beliefs been ingrained in us since we were very, very young?
• 20:14
  Nicky: From society, from our family?
• 20:16
  Nicky: Specifically, there's that combination of generationally and it's safety and it's survival and it's belonging in a pack and not being noticed to be saying like there's an actual survival mechanism in this.
• 20:28
  Nicky: So it's not that we ever want to totally remove it because there is a safety in it.
• 20:33
  Nicky: But again, it's understanding what's the healthy, resourceful version of that and what's the bit that I need to let go of so I can step out and be different, whatever that particularly looks like that exercise.
• 20:46
  Maree McPherson: Nicky, reminds me of the role biography that I often do with my coaching clients and that I know both of you have experienced through a workshop that I ran, and it's very, very similar process, isn't it?
• 20:59
  Maree McPherson: To get into who was I as this child and then at different points in my life, what role was I playing and how, how did that express itself and what meaning do I make of that?
• 21:10
  Maree McPherson: For now, they're really useful reflections around.
• 21:14
  Maree McPherson: You know understanding self, and I don't think we can really effectively lead other people or run our businesses until we know who we are.
• 21:25
  Maree McPherson: That's the really critical element here, isn't it?
• 21:29
  Nicky: Yeah, and sorry, Ness you go.
• 21:32
  Ness: I was just going to say.
• 21:33
  Ness: You know that that whole thing around, know yourself, understand what's going on and and it's not just the self-awareness Obviously, that's the beginning of it and sometimes people need help with it.
• 21:44
  Ness: But the way that I see, then, that it gets applied in order to be able to thrive without burning out, is when you understand what your needs are and where your mindset is at.
• 21:55
  Ness: It's easier to put boundaries in place that protect you, know your time, for example.
• 22:00
  Ness: It's easier to question that mindset and make some changes that are going to help you achieve the, the outcome that you want to achieve.
• 22:08
  Ness: It's all the like, it's the baseline to be able to grow from.
• 22:13
  Ness: But if we choose all the time to ignore, ignore, ignore and not stop and not pause and not get help if we need it and not, you know, take the time because we're too busy, then the reality of that is, if nothing changes, nothing changes and so we just get more of the same, more of the same which, obviously, then you know it's the, what we spoke about right at the beginning.
• 22:35
  Ness: It's the, it's the emotion that you push away, that is always there and it's going to pop up in a different way at a different time, which is probably the least convenient, and it's going to come back and bite you because, really, what?
• 22:50
  Ness: What?
• 22:50
  Ness: The cycle that needs to be broken?
• 22:53
  Ness: There is to stop ignoring it, and I love it because it comes back to stop mauling that mojo, do something.
• 23:00
  Ness: Do something that is going to empower you to be able to do what it is you want to do in life, to be able to stand up for yourself if that's what's needed, to be able to set boundaries in place if that's what needed, or just to get out there and make a bloody amazing difference in the world.
• 23:17
  Nicky: And I think, just to be seen, just to be, allow yourself to be seen for who you truly are, without all the masking and whatever it is that's not authentically you.
• 23:29
  Nicky: Yeah, oh yes, that's making my spine shiver, the work that you do definitely makes my spine shiver and I love that exercise and that workshop that you did.
• 23:40
  Nicky: And this is great timing because, also, I think the work that we do takes a stand, different parts, the work we do with ourselves as individuals, and we're talking about self-worth here.
• 23:50
  Nicky: We're talking about self-love and acceptance, and I'm sure you know I'd love your thoughts, marie, but this is an ongoing piece, isn't it?
• 23:57
  Nicky: It's not a one-stop shop.
• 23:59
  Nicky: Oh, I did a workshop.
• 24:00
  Nicky: Yay, thanks Marie, I've done my roles by you.
• 24:02
  Nicky: I'm good.
• 24:02
  Nicky: But what I'm realising more and more and more is that as we get older and the work we do, it's all connected.
• 24:08
  Nicky: So, yes, yesterday doing that exercise, but then I've already got the seeds that have been planted, the amazing takeaways that I had at some big insights and bigger hard moments when we worked together.
• 24:21
  Nicky: You know it all then builds on each other and nurtures, and we have to keep doing it.
• 24:26
  Nicky: What are your thoughts on that?
• 24:29
  Maree McPherson: before I lead to the last question to wrap this conversation up, yeah, I think we are all our own life's work and I think it's very easy to get caught up in the self-appreciation movement, if I might put it that way.
• 24:45
  Maree McPherson: Again, we're surrounded by messages around self-actualisation and living authentically and reflect, reflect, reflect and I again won't criticise that because that's my bread and butter and I love it.
• 24:58
  Maree McPherson: But we're not to do it at the expense of all the people around us.
• 25:02
  Maree McPherson: So I think for me that really, you know, it's about getting in touch with yourself, knowledge, self-leadership, self-regulation, because, yes, we all have the right to be who we are, but that comes with responsibilities to other humans.
• 25:18
  Maree McPherson: So I think that the noise that's around us, particularly on social media where I think I get a bit lost in translation with that is where we ignore the people around us, we ignore the fact that they also have some rights.
• 25:34
  Maree McPherson: So you know, this self-knowledge thing it's a life of work.
• 25:40
  Maree McPherson: I'm going to be 60 in a couple of years and I've got so much more to learn.
• 25:44
  Maree McPherson: And I know I've probably shared this quote with you a few times, but I have a running joke with my mum who's 85.
• 25:52
  Maree McPherson: God bless her Beautiful socks.
• 25:54
  Maree McPherson: And I often say to mum when I was 18 or when I was 16, mum I knew everything and nobody wanted to know anything about what I knew.
• 26:02
  Maree McPherson: And now I'm 50, coming up 58, and I don't know anything.
• 26:06
  Maree McPherson: But people pay me for my wisdom.
• 26:08
  Maree McPherson: I love the play on that because I think as we get older we realise more and more how little of the world we know and how curiosity serves us so well.
• 26:21
  Nicky: Yeah, and that's the life stages as well, isn't it?
• 26:24
  Nicky: It's yeah, there's just nothing else to add to that.
• 26:28
  Nicky: That's so relatable and so true.
• 26:31
  Nicky: And, yeah, thank you so much for joining us today, marie.
• 26:34
  Nicky: I do feel like we're going to have to get you back as well, because there's got to be a part two of this conversation.
• 26:40
  Nicky: I already have so many questions in my head, but I will not take up too much more of your time, because I know that we always promise those bite-sized pieces.
• 26:49
  Nicky: Please, listeners, share with us what have you loved from this conversation.
• 26:53
  Nicky: Reach out to us.
• 26:54
  Nicky: Where can our listeners follow you, marie, because it's definitely worth friendly stalking you.
• 27:01
  Maree McPherson: People can stalk me.
• 27:02
  Maree McPherson: No, no, please don't Friendly friendly stalking.
• 27:06
  Nicky: You've got to include that word in there Boundaries, boundaries.
• 27:12
  Maree McPherson: So people can find me on Instagram at Marie McPherson, linkedin at Marie McPherson.
• 27:19
  Maree McPherson: They'll find me.
• 27:20
  Maree McPherson: Facebook Marie McPherson Consulting I think I come up under that on Facebook and of course, my wonderful website is the best place to go.
• 27:28
  Maree McPherson: So of course that's mariemacphersoncomau.
• 27:31
  Maree McPherson: Mariemacphersoncom will get you there as well, and there's a whole lot of information there about my programs, my books, the audiobook version of Worthy.
• 27:41
  Maree McPherson: For people who would prefer to listen, it's available on all platforms, so I'm not difficult to find if your listeners would like to hear more.
• 27:50
  Nicky: Amazing, and we'll, of course, put all of that in the show notes as well, so we love to wrap up the end of the episode.
• 27:57
  Nicky: Ness, did you have something else that you wanted to jump?
• 27:59
  Ness: in.
• 27:59
  Ness: No, I just had much.
• 28:00
  Ness: I loved our conversation today.
• 28:02
  Ness: Thank you, Marie, and definitely Worthy of getting Hold of Worthy, because it's a fabulous book.
• 28:08
  Nicky: Worthy Love.
• 28:09
  Nicky: That, again, can't add anything to that, so we have covered off a fair bit in this jam-packed 2025 minutes.
• 28:15
  Nicky: We've talked about the importance of stopping and breathing the pause, which actually is a common theme in this podcast.
• 28:22
  Nicky: Surprise.
• 28:23
  Nicky: Not surprise, listen, the importance of emotions and feelings, like comparison artists, but inviting the inner critic or these potentially negative feelings and thoughts in for a cuppa, I mean hello, I love that reframe and then see you later.
• 28:38
  Nicky: What's not serving me?
• 28:39
  Nicky: There is a lot looking at.
• 28:41
  Nicky: What does this fear mean?
• 28:42
  Nicky: Uncovering our story, our roles, the beliefs that we've created?
• 28:47
  Nicky: If we were to give our listeners, our beautiful listeners and watchers, one actionable action in the next 24 hours that I think can just help them move towards, step towards that self-acceptance, self-worth, self-love, this peace around being able to be who we are but in an authentic is bandit around a lot.
• 29:08
  Nicky: It is with respect and love to the people around us, whilst knowing our boundaries of who to and not to include in that.
• 29:15
  Nicky: But if there was one thing that people can do in 24 hours to move towards that, what would that be?
• 29:23
  Maree McPherson: Oh, this is such a good question and the one thing is really tricky for me.
• 29:27
  Maree McPherson: But I've got a suggestion.
• 29:28
  Maree McPherson: I reckon there's two questions that people can practice asking themselves, on top of the ones we've already talked about.
• 29:36
  Maree McPherson: So two questions to practice asking yourself when you're in a stage of doubt.
• 29:41
  Maree McPherson: One is if I don't do what I'm about to do, what things will I regret?
• 29:48
  Maree McPherson: And the second question is if I do this, what things will I thank myself for in five years time?
• 29:58
  Maree McPherson: I'll repeat them for your listeners.
• 30:01
  Maree McPherson: So practice these two questions.
• 30:04
  Maree McPherson: If you're about to embark on something and you're feeling anxious about it, or you Mojo is dying off, ask yourself these questions If I don't do this now, what things will I regret?
• 30:15
  Maree McPherson: And if I do this, what things will I thank myself for in five years time?
• 30:22
  Ness: Love that so much.
• 30:24
  Ness: They're great questions.
• 30:26
  Ness: I'm sitting here going oh, I'm going to write them down, I'm going to practice saying them.
• 30:29
  Ness: That's something really tangible.
• 30:31
  Ness: Thank you so so much, marie.
• 30:33
  Ness: You've shared absolute gold and I really enjoyed our chat today.
• 30:37
  Ness: So, yeah, we're going to have to come back next to you for another conversation.
• 30:41
  Ness: Thank you, listeners.
• 30:42
  Ness: Bye, see you later.
• 30:45
  Nicky: Thanks for having me.
• 30:46
  Nicky: Thanks for listening to today's app.
• 30:48
  Nicky: If you loved what you heard, find us on LinkedIn and let us know what you enjoyed.
• 30:52
  Nicky: Also, don't forget to rate and review and, of course, share this episode with your biz besties.
• 30:58
  Nicky: Ness and I are obsessed with helping you break through your business and life barriers to get you to your next frontier of growth.
• 31:07
  Nicky: We bring two business minds and two perspectives into your business.
• 31:12
  Nicky: As the magician, I help connect the dots, see the possibilities and the hidden potential, and as the architect, ness turns those possibilities into practice, implementing plans and frameworks.
• 31:24
  Nicky: Because, let's face it, every vision needs a practical pathway to success.
• 31:29
  Nicky: We offer business health checks, taking you from chaos to clarity in just 30 days.
• 31:35
  Nicky: Are you curious to find out more?
• 31:38
  Nicky: Send us an email or go old school and give us a call.
• 31:41
  Nicky: All our details are in the show notes and on our website.
• 31:44
  Nicky: Until next time, happy listening and here's to thriving in business and life.
• 31:50
  Nicky: Thank you.