Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Activists Around the World: Listener Mail
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and welcome to Stephane. Never told
- 0:07Speaker 1: your protection of I heart radio and yes you heard
- 0:19Speaker 1: that right. It is just me. I am going so
- 0:22Speaker 1: low today because Samantha is feeling under the weather. She
- 0:26Speaker 1: thinks it's a migraine, which suck. I can speak from experience,
- 0:30Speaker 1: so just me today, but I am excited about this
- 0:33Speaker 1: when I'm very sad that she can't be here because
- 0:35Speaker 1: I know she would have many thoughts. But we're doing
- 0:37Speaker 1: a listener mail today, UM and as always, so many
- 0:41Speaker 1: of you have written in with insightful comments that we
- 0:43Speaker 1: want to share, uh, and please keep those coming because
- 0:47Speaker 1: we would like to do these more often because you
- 0:50Speaker 1: all just have so much, so much to add to
- 0:53Speaker 1: what we're talking about. So thanks to everyone who's already
- 0:56Speaker 1: written in. Please write in if you haven't, or write
- 0:59Speaker 1: an again if you have, because we love, love, love
- 1:03Speaker 1: doing these, and we get a lot of email about
- 1:06Speaker 1: our recent technology episodes that we've been doing. Our string
- 1:11Speaker 1: of technology episodes that's going to continue actually for another
- 1:14Speaker 1: couple of weeks. So if you have any thoughts about
- 1:16Speaker 1: UM things like air b ab or discord are AI
- 1:21Speaker 1: or any of that kind of stuff, those are episodes
- 1:23Speaker 1: where we're looking at doing in the next couple of weeks.
- 1:25Speaker 1: But in the meantime, let us hear from some listeners
- 1:27Speaker 1: who have already written in, starting with Sarah. Sarah wrote, Hello, ladies,
- 1:33Speaker 1: thank you as always for brightening my days. You asked
- 1:36Speaker 1: how Reddit makes money on your recent episode. I'm a
- 1:39Speaker 1: frequent redditor and I'm surprised y'all aren't. I like it
- 1:42Speaker 1: because it reminds me of the days of early interwebs
- 1:45Speaker 1: with homemade fan websites and a O l aim. Hey
- 1:49Speaker 1: I am anyway, Reddit sells ads. They look like normal
- 1:54Speaker 1: user post they're marked as ads, but I've been initially
- 1:56Speaker 1: confused more than once until I saw the promoted able.
- 2:00Speaker 1: They also make money by selling skins for your Reddit icon.
- 2:04Speaker 1: I think they can make more money though, on redditor awards.
- 2:07Speaker 1: These are things you can buy to give to any
- 2:10Speaker 1: post or comment. They started with a gold and silver
- 2:13Speaker 1: medal award, then they expanded to all sorts of things.
- 2:17Speaker 1: Many of them have additional effects, including boosting the post
- 2:20Speaker 1: or comment higher in the chain of comments some more
- 2:22Speaker 1: people see it. There's a laughing skeleton, give a bear hug,
- 2:27Speaker 1: and a this pointing hand. I love them all l
- 2:34Speaker 1: O L some subs. Subreddits have their own custom awards too.
- 2:38Speaker 1: Plus there are some sens of awards, like someone going
- 2:41Speaker 1: into a door on the right and then another award
- 2:44Speaker 1: of someone coming out of the door on the left.
- 2:46Speaker 1: If rereditors time it right, they can give these to
- 2:49Speaker 1: the same post and make it local. Okay, it's kind
- 2:53Speaker 1: of pointless, but yeah. Also I want to add that
- 2:56Speaker 1: although Simon Preddit is toxic, there are also so many
- 3:01Speaker 1: safe spaces, and unlike Twitter, trolls can largely be kept
- 3:04Speaker 1: out of these communities to let people have more constructive conversations.
- 3:08Speaker 1: For example, I have a gluten allergy, and in the
- 3:11Speaker 1: g F subs I could ask people whether I'm being
- 3:13Speaker 1: safe or totally overthinking cross contamination. And although I've been
- 3:17Speaker 1: in a stable relationship for ten years, the sub r
- 3:20Speaker 1: slash x no contact is a wonderful community where people
- 3:23Speaker 1: support each other and getting up her breakups and fighting
- 3:26Speaker 1: the constant urge to check your ex's Instagram. That's all
- 3:30Speaker 1: for now, but let me know if you need more.
- 3:32Speaker 1: Thanks again to you both for interesting and informative content.
- 3:36Speaker 1: I just wrote about y'all for my social justice class,
- 3:38Speaker 1: and even included Annie's cosplay pick uh, and then Sarah
- 3:42Speaker 1: followed up later. OMG, how could I forget? Annie probably
- 3:46Speaker 1: already knows about this, but the Star Wars meme subs
- 3:49Speaker 1: are the best. Are Slash sequel memes, are Slash prequel memes,
- 3:54Speaker 1: and also our slash Borkini bottomed Twitter has some of
- 3:58Speaker 1: the best and also some of the most awful memes.
- 4:00Speaker 1: The fact that our slash super Bowl is actually our
- 4:04Speaker 1: slash superb Owl makes me think there's hope for humanity
- 4:08Speaker 1: and our slash proper Lifting has the cutest teeny tiny
- 4:11Speaker 1: plants you've ever seen. I love you guys, keep being
- 4:13Speaker 1: bad inclusive feminist b I F thank you so much. Sarah,
- 4:17Speaker 1: thank you for all of this information, very very informative.
- 4:22Speaker 1: And yeah, all of this sounds pretty amazing to me.
- 4:25Speaker 1: I I've I've seen a lot of good Star Wars
- 4:28Speaker 1: memes in my day, but it makes me happy to
- 4:30Speaker 1: know if that's a rabbit hole I want to go down,
- 4:32Speaker 1: there is a place for me to get lost in.
- 4:35Speaker 1: It also so cool that you talked about as in
- 4:39Speaker 1: your social justice class and had a pick of my cosplay,
- 4:44Speaker 1: which I can only hope just tears and cheers and
- 4:50Speaker 1: praise as it deserves. But no, honestly, this is like
- 4:56Speaker 1: this stuff I love about the Internet. I feel like
- 4:59Speaker 1: we rightful, We are always pointing out issues, but also
- 5:02Speaker 1: you know a lot of the social justice benefits of
- 5:05Speaker 1: these platforms and technologies. But I don't want to get
- 5:08Speaker 1: lost that they can just be fun. They can just
- 5:10Speaker 1: be fun and interesting in a place to share memes,
- 5:14Speaker 1: and that's fantastic. So thank you, thank you. Sarah Dina wrote,
- 5:19Speaker 1: I just listened to your and Samantha's episode on Mandalorians
- 5:22Speaker 1: and toxic masculinity and loved it. O f C. I'd
- 5:26Speaker 1: not put my finger on exactly how I feel about
- 5:28Speaker 1: the armor and the helmet, etcetera. And you summed up
- 5:31Speaker 1: the underlying messages so well. I couldn't agree more with
- 5:35Speaker 1: everything you said, and also had to check my own
- 5:38Speaker 1: fascination with Mandalorians. The fact Din Mandalorian takes off his
- 5:43Speaker 1: helmet should be celebrated. I'm just in the process of
- 5:46Speaker 1: starting a project slash business that is centered around mental
- 5:49Speaker 1: health education, and I think a lot about men and
- 5:52Speaker 1: mental health. Of course, I think a lot about women
- 5:55Speaker 1: and non binary g and see folks and the issues
- 5:58Speaker 1: we encounter when it comes to health and mental health.
- 6:01Speaker 1: But men's and boys emotional well being so suffers under
- 6:04Speaker 1: the patriarchal system, and it's terrible. Dn is a great
- 6:08Speaker 1: example for the armor men are expected to put on
- 6:11Speaker 1: every day, hiding their humanity, masking their feelings, and showing
- 6:15Speaker 1: no a vulnerability, trusting no one, killing slash hunting people
- 6:20Speaker 1: for a living, and seemingly no emotional impact on him.
- 6:24Speaker 1: Grow Gou slash baby Yoda. Uh. Then it seems to
- 6:27Speaker 1: change that, which is nice to see. But I completely
- 6:30Speaker 1: agree that had a woman been in this role, she'd
- 6:32Speaker 1: have been expected to turn into Mando super mom instantly.
- 6:37Speaker 1: It also, like you mentioned on the pod, shows perfectly
- 6:39Speaker 1: how we celebrate men for doing the absolute bare minimum
- 6:43Speaker 1: when it comes to parenting. Dan keeps Grogu alive, Okay, cool? Honestly,
- 6:48Speaker 1: if gro Goo spends his whole childhood with Din, he'll
- 6:51Speaker 1: need therapy, don't we all by the time he's a
- 6:55Speaker 1: teenager because he gets absolutely nothing emotionally from him, let
- 7:00Speaker 1: alone cuddles, conversation or play. Physical safety and the occasional
- 7:04Speaker 1: macaroon and metal bal toy does not make a securely
- 7:07Speaker 1: attached life form Anyways, another thing that's been on my
- 7:11Speaker 1: mind is this after Keno's tragic a f moment of
- 7:15Speaker 1: I cannot swim uh And you know if you know,
- 7:19Speaker 1: this theme has come up again and it bucks me.
- 7:22Speaker 1: I know Star Wars is partly about sacrifice, and I
- 7:24Speaker 1: know it's a longstanding mythical theme, but not just since
- 7:28Speaker 1: the war in Ukraine. I've been thinking a lot about
- 7:30Speaker 1: war and the glorification of violence in the US and
- 7:32Speaker 1: around the world. I really don't need to or love
- 7:35Speaker 1: to see quote real heroes die for the cause. Sure,
- 7:40Speaker 1: rebellions need sacrifice, but it seems to me that fandoms
- 7:43Speaker 1: require death as the ultimate sacrifice, especially if the character
- 7:47Speaker 1: is a woman. To me, there are two and probably
- 7:49Speaker 1: more issues here. First of all, this theme is what
- 7:52Speaker 1: governments require for citizens to sign up for the military
- 7:55Speaker 1: and give their lives in combat while the people who
- 7:58Speaker 1: send them into war zones are safe. I have never
- 8:00Speaker 1: agreed with that. When I see a hero on screen
- 8:03Speaker 1: sacrifice their life to save others, it doesn't fill me
- 8:06Speaker 1: with pride that humans are so selfless. It fills me
- 8:09Speaker 1: with sadness and anger that this person had to die.
- 8:12Speaker 1: I don't think it's noble. I think it's necessary sometimes,
- 8:14Speaker 1: but it doesn't make the death of that person any
- 8:17Speaker 1: less sad and usually unnecessary in the first place, because
- 8:21Speaker 1: Warren sacrifices about systems, and it's the system that's wrong
- 8:24Speaker 1: when the dead hero story makes it about the individual,
- 8:27Speaker 1: diverting responsibility from those in power. So this is a
- 8:31Speaker 1: harmful theme in my opinion. You can see this especially
- 8:33Speaker 1: well in the Star Wars fandom with the hate Rose
- 8:36Speaker 1: got for saving Finn from sacrificing himself. We know that
- 8:40Speaker 1: there is racism underlying this too, and the fact that
- 8:43Speaker 1: Rose is a woman and essentially also quote deserved to die.
- 8:47Speaker 1: Rose's sister Page had about two minutes of screen time,
- 8:50Speaker 1: but was heralded in the fandom as the better sister
- 8:53Speaker 1: because she gave her life. Holdo got so much respect
- 8:57Speaker 1: after disciplining a man male character because she sacrificed your self,
- 9:00Speaker 1: Tala had to give her life a redemption. Women really
- 9:04Speaker 1: seem to be expected to die in order to be
- 9:06Speaker 1: respected as quote true fighters are even worthy humans. Reva
- 9:10Speaker 1: seems to be thought of as not worthy of redemption.
- 9:12Speaker 1: That potentially would change if she died at some point,
- 9:15Speaker 1: which hopefully Star Wars knows should absolutely not happen. We
- 9:19Speaker 1: all know that this is an issue, not least because
- 9:21Speaker 1: women and especially women of color, still do pay with
- 9:24Speaker 1: your lives for mistakes they make speaking up against men
- 9:27Speaker 1: or simply for being women. I'm wondering how you see this.
- 9:30Speaker 1: It's been bugging me so much since the last Jedi,
- 9:32Speaker 1: and it's a theme that keeps coming up. Now some
- 9:36Speaker 1: jolly stuff. Are you calming to Star Wars celebration of London?
- 9:39Speaker 1: About tickets? And I'm likely going, although my Star Wars
- 9:42Speaker 1: buddies have dropped out. If you are, maybe we should
- 9:44Speaker 1: do some nerding out, have some blue milk. I know
- 9:47Speaker 1: it's a long way to go from the U S
- 9:49Speaker 1: and it's expensive for you guys. I'm not sure I
- 9:51Speaker 1: can go yet, but we'll try for sure. Oh my gosh,
- 9:54Speaker 1: I would love to. First of all, data and I
- 9:57Speaker 1: hope I'm pronouncing your name correctly. Um. I always look
- 10:01Speaker 1: getting your messages, your Star Wars messages, because there you know,
- 10:05Speaker 1: I just nerd out and I love them. I've never
- 10:08Speaker 1: been to celebration. I've always wanted to go. I honestly
- 10:13Speaker 1: I teetered after you sent this. I was like, oh,
- 10:16Speaker 1: I could go to London, I could do the stuff
- 10:18Speaker 1: I could still have and who knows there's time, um
- 10:20Speaker 1: but blue milk one day for sure, and then absolutely
- 10:24Speaker 1: to all of this. Honestly, I spend an embarrassing amount
- 10:29Speaker 1: of time thinking about how people perceive characters like the
- 10:35Speaker 1: Mandalorian and why they're so lauded for what sounds to
- 10:43Speaker 1: me like self destructive behavior, and then occasionally being nice
- 10:47Speaker 1: as I said, I love that character. I've written that character.
- 10:52Speaker 1: I get it to some extent, but there's something about
- 10:56Speaker 1: the way that I could go on and on about
- 11:00Speaker 1: how men who have spoken to me about it talk
- 11:04Speaker 1: about it about like, oh, I like that he's he
- 11:07Speaker 1: never shows emotion, he has his armor on and doesn't
- 11:10Speaker 1: show his face and doesn't share his voice and doesn't
- 11:12Speaker 1: share his name, versus how women do it in fan fiction,
- 11:17Speaker 1: which is like and this is a generalization, but I've
- 11:20Speaker 1: read a lot of Star Wars fan fiction, so it's
- 11:23Speaker 1: a generalization I can back up with some anecdotal evidence.
- 11:26Speaker 1: But like that it is a good thing when he
- 11:29Speaker 1: takes off his helmet, but also that the violence is
- 11:34Speaker 1: a good thing too, like it shows how much you care,
- 11:38Speaker 1: or something like the violence in the name of something
- 11:41Speaker 1: you love or protect, which again I have also written,
- 11:43Speaker 1: I get, but it gives me a lot of pause.
- 11:46Speaker 1: I also, in responding to this email, I said I
- 11:48Speaker 1: found an Instagram post recently that I had me nodding
- 11:52Speaker 1: my head furiously where someone was saying, you know, children's
- 11:57Speaker 1: books or entertainment is not meant about It's not for
- 12:00Speaker 1: us to be like, oh gosh, this is child abuse
- 12:03Speaker 1: and all of this. It's about children overcoming obstacles, which
- 12:08Speaker 1: I totally agree, but I do think it gets complicated
- 12:10Speaker 1: with something like Star Wars, which has like such a
- 12:13Speaker 1: base of adults fans who grew up with it but
- 12:15Speaker 1: are now adults. This is also kind of meant for children.
- 12:20Speaker 1: So it's one of those things where sometimes I'm like, well, yeah, sure,
- 12:24Speaker 1: the nine year old is flying a a ship in
- 12:29Speaker 1: space alone. Yeah, because it's for kids. But then there's
- 12:32Speaker 1: another part of me that's an adult that's like, well,
- 12:34Speaker 1: a nine year old shape and space alone anyway. So
- 12:39Speaker 1: these are just things I I wrestle with as a nerd.
- 12:43Speaker 1: But also I completely agree about men's mental health, boys
- 12:47Speaker 1: mental health and issues, and this kind of being an
- 12:52Speaker 1: example of what we're teaching them and I recently had
- 12:55Speaker 1: a very um insightful but upsetting conversation with a man
- 13:01Speaker 1: in my life where he was talking to me about
- 13:04Speaker 1: childhood trauma like it's the first time he's ever heard
- 13:07Speaker 1: of it, and it kind of broke my heart. Um,
- 13:10Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. I think about that
- 13:12Speaker 1: a lot, and I absolutely agree about the sacrifice, especially
- 13:17Speaker 1: of women, especially of women of color, being glorified. I
- 13:21Speaker 1: think you you summed it up really well that we're
- 13:23Speaker 1: basically and this is like at the heart of Star
- 13:27Speaker 1: Wars and so many other things. But I've always said, like,
- 13:29Speaker 1: I loved Darth Vader's story, but in the end, he died,
- 13:32Speaker 1: like he doesn't do the redemption work. He just dies
- 13:35Speaker 1: and then we're like, ah, well that's good, and it's
- 13:37Speaker 1: really not. But yeah, people getting uplifted because they died
- 13:43Speaker 1: for the cause, and it is very complicated, But um,
- 13:46Speaker 1: I totally agree, and I think I'm with you one
- 13:50Speaker 1: d with Riva. I I personally believe with all of
- 13:55Speaker 1: my heart that a lot of fans and especially like
- 13:58Speaker 1: Dude bro fans, wanted her to die, did not want
- 14:02Speaker 1: her to be redeemed, and feel like I feel like
- 14:05Speaker 1: she should have died um and and I think that's
- 14:08Speaker 1: a problem. And I also yeah with the last Jedi
- 14:12Speaker 1: and Rose being like, you know, we have to live
- 14:13Speaker 1: to fight that dying and glory thing um, which by
- 14:19Speaker 1: the way, has been twisted in so many ways when
- 14:21Speaker 1: it comes to what a cause that we would not support,
- 14:25Speaker 1: say um and her being telling Finn like, no, we
- 14:28Speaker 1: need to keep living and keep fighting and then kind
- 14:32Speaker 1: of getting reamed over the goals for it is also
- 14:35Speaker 1: pretty telling and a problem. And I think Marvel has
- 14:40Speaker 1: been showing this a lot in a lot of their
- 14:42Speaker 1: recent movies and treatment of women. And I will say that,
- 14:46Speaker 1: uh and perhaps a future episode, but I just I
- 14:51Speaker 1: feel like, you know, it's pretty It's not like a
- 14:54Speaker 1: lot of these franchises have a lot of women, and
- 14:56Speaker 1: there were a lot of women of color in the
- 14:57Speaker 1: first place. And then if you're killing them all off,
- 15:00Speaker 1: mmmmm mmm um. But thank you, thank you for writing in.
- 15:19Speaker 1: And then lastly, Michelle wrote, I was listening to the
- 15:23Speaker 1: fiction episode. It happens to be December two and Nana
- 15:27Speaker 1: Ramo is over National Novel Writing Month. But I had
- 15:29Speaker 1: to write in when you mentioned my favorite event of
- 15:31Speaker 1: the year. I'm a Municipal Liaison mL for National Novel
- 15:35Speaker 1: Writing Month, which is a fancy name for a regional
- 15:37Speaker 1: volunteer who organizes the event locally. There are many mls
- 15:41Speaker 1: all around the world making NANO fun and providing support
- 15:44Speaker 1: to local writers. Shout out to my fellow mls. Nana
- 15:48Speaker 1: Raimo is a writing event that started as a local
- 15:50Speaker 1: thing in one place that spread all over the World's
- 15:53Speaker 1: fantastic and helps writers develop a daily writing habit. The
- 15:57Speaker 1: official goal is to start a new novel November one,
- 16:00Speaker 1: and then write fifty words of that novel during November. However,
- 16:05Speaker 1: this isn't a hard and fast rule. NANO rebels are encouraged.
- 16:10Speaker 1: I've been a rebel many times. Some examples are continuing
- 16:13Speaker 1: in existing project, editing a project, writing short stories, poems,
- 16:17Speaker 1: or even art. Our region has had artists participate and
- 16:20Speaker 1: we decided a drawing was worth a thousand words. Winning
- 16:24Speaker 1: isn't about competing against others. It's competing against yourself and
- 16:28Speaker 1: all the things that prevent you from writing. It's about
- 16:30Speaker 1: developing a habit of writing every day, and it's about
- 16:33Speaker 1: the community support, the camaraderie, the friendships. For myself, I
- 16:38Speaker 1: didn't win this year, but that's okay. Sometimes life and
- 16:41Speaker 1: truths and you must be kind to yourself. For those
- 16:43Speaker 1: who participated this year, no matter how many words you
- 16:45Speaker 1: wrote or didn't write, you are amazing. You wrote, you
- 16:49Speaker 1: created words that didn't exist before, and you can write
- 16:52Speaker 1: all year round. The Nano Reimo website even has a
- 16:56Speaker 1: feature to set your own personal goals anytime. You don't
- 16:59Speaker 1: have to wait for next November. So keep growing, all
- 17:02Speaker 1: you rhemos. The world needs your novel. I love this.
- 17:06Speaker 1: I've always been curious about mls UM because Atlanta they'll
- 17:12Speaker 1: do events like write in and at restaurants or even
- 17:16Speaker 1: stores or libraries or on the train on Marta, which
- 17:20Speaker 1: is really really cool. And I totally agree that Yanna
- 17:25Speaker 1: Raimo is. It taught me like an invaluable lesson, which
- 17:29Speaker 1: is to just right, like don't get hung up and
- 17:33Speaker 1: editing every word, don't get hung up in questioning if
- 17:36Speaker 1: it's good or bad or not, like to just do it.
- 17:40Speaker 1: And after the first time I did do it, which
- 17:44Speaker 1: we're now reading on this fiction thing that I wrote
- 17:47Speaker 1: during Anna Raymo, it changed it, like changed my perspective
- 17:52Speaker 1: on what I could do and what I could write,
- 17:56Speaker 1: and it made it much easier for me to be like,
- 17:58Speaker 1: you know what, I feel like inting and I'm just
- 18:00Speaker 1: gonna write and I'm not going to to stop because
- 18:04Speaker 1: I think it's not any good or because I need
- 18:07Speaker 1: to edit this or there's a better way to say.
- 18:09Speaker 1: I like to just get it on the page and
- 18:10Speaker 1: then you can do all that stuff later, um, if
- 18:13Speaker 1: you want to. But also I love this about Nano
- 18:15Speaker 1: Rebels because I had my question about if people were
- 18:17Speaker 1: cheating and you've clarified it. So thank you, thank you,
- 18:20Speaker 1: thank you very much. UM. And yeah, I would love
- 18:24Speaker 1: I would love to hear from any other listeners about this,
- 18:26Speaker 1: about their novels, their experience with Nana Raimo and yeah,
- 18:31Speaker 1: as a reminder, please please please keep writing in and
- 18:35Speaker 1: we would love to do these more often. We love
- 18:37Speaker 1: hearing from you, UM and thanks to these listeners for
- 18:39Speaker 1: writing in. Uh. We very much enjoyed these letters and
- 18:43Speaker 1: reading them, so thank you. You can emails at Stephania
- 18:46Speaker 1: mom Stuff at I heart media dot com. You can
- 18:48Speaker 1: find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, our Instagram
- 18:50Speaker 1: and stuff I've Never told you things. As always, to
- 18:52Speaker 1: our super producer Christina and Samantha, we hope you feel
- 18:56Speaker 1: better soon. We missed you and thanks to all of you.
- 18:59Speaker 1: Listens before listening, definitely never told this production of iHeart Radio.
- 19:03Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my heart Radio, you can check
- 19:04Speaker 1: out the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen
- 19:06Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.