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Andy Stanley - Me & My Big Mouth Part 2 Untamable · Andy Stanley Sermons

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So, guys, have you ever asked a woman when she's due? And
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she wasn't? I think the average guy does this on average, just one
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time. Unfortunately I am above average. In fact, years ago, different
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embarrassing moment. Years ago, well, I have a friend, her name's
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Missy, and she's been cutting my hair for like twenty over twenty years,
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probably been friends for a long time. And years ago her mother became ill
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and it was kind of touch and go on and off. So every time
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I would go get my haircut, I'd say, how's your mom? How's
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your mom? She give me an update then during the week, and sometimes
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I text, hey, what's the latest with your mom? And just super
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involved, and so a lot of time went by. Finally her mother passed
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away. I attended the funeral, participated in the funeral the next week,
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and went to get my haircut, and I sat down and she's behind me.
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We're looking at each other in the mirror, and I said, so,
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how's your mom? I know, and she smiled, she says she's
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doing great. Yeah, So we all have we all have those moments,
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you know, because the problem is once our words are out there, I
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mean, once our words are out there, they're just out there. And
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the good news is God gave us all this button. But what we really
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needed was this button, right, I mean, we could all hit pause
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like I'm just you know, I called, but what the rewind button is
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what we all need. So to get all caught up. And by the
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way, if you weren't here last week for the first part of the series,
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you really need to catch up because we're gonna pick up in just a
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few minutes where we left off last week. But one part of last week
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we have to review. And it goes like this, quick to listen,
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slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to speak. Everybody all together,
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even if you're driving. Ready, here we go. Quick to listen,
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slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to speak. And last
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week we learned a little hand motion. Some of you practiced it. This
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week goes like this, quick to listen, right, quick to listen,
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slow to speaking. Why do we do this because when we're in conflict,
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when we're having in an argument, we're having a difficult time, you know,
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in a conversation, we close up. And if you'll notice, when
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you get tense, what happened to your hands? Your hands and they'll stay
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like this. They go like this. You close your hands, you close
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your heart, you close your mind, you close your ears. And the
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reason is is because you want exactly what the person who won't stop talking wants.
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You want the very same thing the person who won't stop talking. You
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want the very same thing the person you're arguing with wants. So we're developing
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a new habit. Quick to listen. I'm gonna open up my hands,
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open up my ears, open up my mind and my heart. Quick to
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listen, slow to speak. You want the same thing they do. You
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want to be heard and you want to be understood. So picking up where
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we left off last week. As you know, words are powerful. Words
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are extraordinarily powerful. In fact, your life has been shaped. Your life
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has been shaped, My life has been shaped. We have. All of
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our lives have been shaped by the words that were spoken to us, the
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words that we're spoken over us, and the words that were spoken about us.
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Words shaped our childhood experiences. Words are shaping your marriages and your most
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intimate relationships. Words impact your confidence, your self confidence. Words impact who
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you see when you look in the mirror. People with no confidence have gained
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confidence simply through words spoken over them. And people with extraordinary confidence have lost
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confidence because of words spoken to them. And the thing that makes this so
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fascinating and so difficult and so challenging is that the words, the words that
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we receive and the words that we speak, are not equally weighted, are
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they? In fact, how many more positives does it take to counter one
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negative? I don't even know what the number is. There are actually some
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statistics, but it depends on what is said when you hear a negative.
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One simple positive doesn't counter the negative. Because words are not equally weighted.
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We never forget, or we rarely forget, hurtful words. It just sticks
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in us, It sticks in our hearts. We just remember the words.
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At the same time, we rarely remember encouraging words. In fact, some
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of you can remember that at some point in your past, your mom or
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your dad, or a grandparent or a mentor sat you down and said,
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now, son, or honey or sweetheart, or you know a friend.
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You know they looked at you, they said, what I'm about to say
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is so important. Never forget, and you remember that somebody had to never
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forget conversation with you at some point in the past. You do not remember
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what came after that part, you just remember, Oh yeah, I remember.
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My dad would tell me this is important and I forgot. But those,
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you know, the hurtful words, the criticism, the sarcasm, we
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just remember. And the words aren't equally weighted. It takes a whole lot
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more positive words, many many more positive words, to counter a single negative
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content. And not only are the words not weighed the same, the source
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isn't equally weighted. See I'm a boss, my words weigh one hundred and
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fifty pounds. In fact, every once in a while, my administrative assistant,
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Diane, I'll be ready to march down the hall or go talk to
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somebody. She'll say, Andy, let me talk to them. My word's
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only weigh twenty pounds. Words weigh one hundred and twenty pounds. If you're
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a mom, your words weigh five hundred pounds, right, if you're a
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dad. I don't know why this is the case. Our words weigh the
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most. About two weeks ago, Sandra and I have a dear friend,
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family friend who we've known since she was born actually, and she's from eighteen
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to about twenty three. She had a really, really, really hard and
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dark time and now she's in her late twenties, and she's battling her way
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out of it. She's doing so great. She went back to college,
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she's finishing school, she's a single mom. She's just working so hard,
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and she her life is turning around. And it's just because of her tenacity
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and her discipline. So I got the phone and I was on the phone
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with her. I just was telling she lives in a different city. I
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was just encouraging her. I said, just think about where you were three
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years ago. Think how far you've come up. We're so Sandra, and
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I are so proud of you. I've just been encouraging. And when I
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finished, there was violence. And here's what she said. I wish my
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dad would tell me that. I wish my dad would tell me that,
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thank you Andy, thank you pastor Andy. But your words don't weigh as
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much as my dad's. I would love to hear my dad say what you
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just said. His words weigh the most. And perhaps the most overlooked part
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of this dynamic is that the recovery time isn't the same either. Recovery time
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isn't equally weighted right the hurt when you hear somebody says something hurtful to you.
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It hurts immediately, but recovery takes time. In fact, no amount
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of words to the contrary, no amount of words to the contrary create immediate
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healing or recovery. And this is why it's so ridiculous when we say,
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but a sud, I'm sorry, I sudd, I'm sorry. I said,
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I'm sorry. Right, I said, I'm sorry. The implication is,
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why are you fine now? Why aren't you fine now? Why aren't
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we back? Why aren't we back to where we were before? I said,
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that's what I said. I mean, I said something stupid, You
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got your feelings hurt, you called me on it. I said, I'm
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sorry. So why aren't we back to even? Well, for the same
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reason that if I accidentally slam your hand in my car door and then I
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opened my car door and you pull out your mangled fingers and I say,
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I'm so sorry it was an accident, Well think we're not back to We're
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not equal again, you're not whole again. We still have to go to
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the emergency room. Because i'm sorry does not know, does not reduce the
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need for a trip to the er. Right, And the same is true
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for our words. Our words hurt and more. Words don't immediately make things
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better. They are not equally weighted. So quick to listen, slow to
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speak, quick to listen, slow to speak, quick to listen, slow
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to speak. Our words are the most powerful thing we have. You can
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do more damage with your words than you can with any other part of your
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body or any other thing you have control over. You can destroy, think
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of it. You can destroy a person with words and not even be in
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the same room with them. Now, James the Brother of Jesus that we
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began with last week, and the whole idea of James the Brother of Jesus
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is still mind boggling. Jameson brother of Jesus, writes a letter to the
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first century Christians, and he has a lot to say about the power of
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words. In fact, your greatest regret relationally, I'm guessing your greatest regret
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relationally, might have been avoided if you had taken and the taken heed to
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these extraordinary words, These words that are free, these words that are everywhere,
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These words that sat on your grandmama's coffee table, your parents coffee table,
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You've got them in your pocket. They're all over the internet. I
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mean, these words are everywhere. If you had simply embraced these simple words
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we're about to look at, you might have avoided your greatest relational regret.
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And if you will listen, and if you will take heed, and if
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you will lean in, who knows how many future relational regrets you might be
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able to avoid because these words are so powerful. Now, if you're not
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a Christian or religious person, that's okay. This is for everybody. And
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when James wrote these words, he had Christians in mind. But you're about
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to be introduced to some extraordinary, extraordinary insight. And I just want you
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to keep in mind, this isn't the New Testament, and these words were
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pinned by James, the brother of Jesus. In fact, if you've never
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read the Bible before, and you're thinking, I don't know that I ever
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want to read the whole Bible. But if I was going to read a
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little bit of it, where should I start? You should just find the
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New Testament documentary we call it the Book of James and start there. It's
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extraordinarily practical. And then when you think about two thousand years ago, this
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guy had this wisdom, it's quite remarkable. So here's how he begins,
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in fact, his first statement. If you've ever said the Bible isn't true,
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you're not completely correct because this next statement, this first statement is absolutely
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true. You can't argue with this. Here's how he begins the discussion.
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He says, we all stumble in many ways, and in Baptist Church,
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I'd have gotten an amen because that's absolutely the case. We all stumble in
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many ways. But listen to this. This next statement is kind of the
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thesis for everything that follows. It is so insightful, he says. Anyone
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that'd be all of us, anyone who is never at fault in what they
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say is perfect. We all stumble in lots of ways, but anybody who
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he gets control of their mouth is perfect. They're able to keep what do
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you mean by perfect, He tells us, they're able to keep their entire
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body in check. In other words, gain control of your mouth, gain
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control of your words, and you will keep your entire body out of trouble.
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That's how powerful your words are. To which we say, James,
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can you give us a little evidence, he says, let me illustrate it
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for you. First illustration something from his world. We he would say,
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when we put bits into the mouths of horses. I don't know if you've
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ever done this. I've done this a couple times when I was younger.
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Not the easiest thing to do. Sometimes when we put bits into the house,
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into the mouth of horses, this is his world, he says.
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To make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal, he says.
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If you get control of the mouth of the horse, you can control
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the entire animal. Now, you may have nieces or younger sisters, or
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maybe younger brothers, but probably girls in your family, or maybe a daughter
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like us. And if you've ever seen a little, idy bitty girl ride
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a big old horse, is that just not the weirdest thing in the world.
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When Ali wanted to ride horses, and it wasn't my favorite thing for
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her to do, but she went to ride horses, all right. So
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we bought her some riding lessons and Sandra took her to the first few times.
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And so I show up four or five lessons in and there's my little
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daughter and her legs are almost kind of sticking out. I mean, she
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can't even quite get this thing going. She's so little, and she's on
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top of this elephant horse, and you know, the trainer is walking her
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around the ring. She says, watch this, daddy, and the trainer
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hands ally the reins and steps back. And my little you know, daughter
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is on this mammoth guiding this horse around. Why because you control the mouth,
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you control the entire beast. And that's James's point. He says,
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Okay, you don't like that illustration, Let's talk about boats, or he
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says, take ships as an example, not our ships, first second century
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ships, although he says, they are so large, and ships back in
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this day some of the largest things that humans were able to make, other
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than you know, building buildings. Although they are so large and are driven
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by strong winds which are completely unpredictable. They are steered by a very small
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rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Here's a picture of an ancient merchant
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ship, or not a picture but a drawing. They didn't have pictures obviously
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back then. And look, giants sail. This would hold about two hundred
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people and tons of cargo. And again, you never know which way the
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winds are gonna go, and it's the weather's unpredictable, he says. But
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regardless of that, this little itty bitty rudder is able to influence the direction
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and the destination of this entire ship. His point is obvious, small part,
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big influence, small part, big influence. And so he says,
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a rudder or a bridle in the mouth of a horse is insignificantly proporious,
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insignificant proportionally. I mean, look at the size of all the different parts.
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It's insignificant proportionally, but has extraordinary, extraordinary influence in terms of the
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direction of the beast, the direction of the ship, or has He's gonna
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argue the direction of your life, the direction of my life? Likewise,
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he says, likewise, just like the rudder, just like the bit in
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the mouth of a horse. Likewise the tongue. Now just think for a
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minute. This is gross, but I don't want you to miss the power
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of what he's saying. Think about the size of your tongue compared to the
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rest of your body. I mean, to begin with, it's about the
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ugliest part of your body. It's the part nobody wants to see, and
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it's only about four inches long, and yet it has the power to control
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your destiny. In fact, that the tongue is made up of about eight
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muscles, and this is interesting. This should not be a surprise. The
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eight muscles and your tongue never get tired, They never wear out, They
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are never exhausted. Is anyone surprised by that. No, the rest of
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your muscles, you can wear them out. Not that tongue. It never
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ever, ever wears out. So James says, Likewise, the tongue,
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even though it is a small part of the body, it makes great boast.
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It has extraordinary influence and power. Again, your tongues control the direction,
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the destiny, the quality of your life. And he says, okay,
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you need some more illustrations. Here we go. Consider, he says,
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think about this. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by
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a small spark. Now, his audience had to imagine this unless they had
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actually seen a forest fire, which very few of them had. They didn't
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even have many forests. They had brush fires that would go they would the
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wind would spread these fires rapidly in that part of the world. But in
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our world, we understand this. We don't have to imagine this. We
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don't have to imagine thousands of acres and millions and millions and millions of dollars
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worth of real estate and homes and buildings destroyed. I mean, this is
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just this is fascinating. It's such an incredible illustration. He gives us something
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so small. Laugh, you have same problem at home with these things,
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don't you. I mean, does anybody get it to light the first click?
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No? Okay, oops, there we go. Something so small,
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something so small, something so vast, something so small, something so as
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There is no logical correlation none, he says this. Okay, I just
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want to keep you focused on this. The tongue are mouths, your words.
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The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts
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of the body. That your tongue, your mouth, your words, has
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the potential for endless evil. Now as we're going to see next week,
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doing miss next week, next week, it also has the potential for endless
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good. But he's focused on the negative. It has potential for endless evil.
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Every kind. Think about it. Every kind of evil can be in.
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Every kind of evil can be initiated by the mouth, by words,
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by the tongue. A divorce can be initiated by what you say. Murder
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can be initiated because of an argument. Wars have been started over words.
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And we are all born with our pilot lights lit. He says, it
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gets worse the mouth, the tongue words. It actually has the power to
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corrupt the entire body, your tongue. We all have a story. I
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mean, when it doesn't take long for these to come to mind, we
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all have an illustration of how our mouth didn't just get your mouth in trouble,
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it got your entire body in trouble. Right, parents, when your
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child mouth's off, do you put the mouth and time out or do you
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put the whole body in time out? Right? Right? You know,
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if you have teenagers and they mouth off, you don't ground the mouth,
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You ground the entire teenager. No one's ever divorced a mouth. Do you
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divorce the entire person? You don't fire a mouth, you fire the entire
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person. The principle doesn't expel the mouth the person. The principle expels the
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entire student. That's James point that words, your mouth has the potential to
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get the entire body because your mouth, your words, determines the direction,
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the direction, the destination of your entire body, your entire life. He
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says, it has the potential, going back to the fire imagery, to
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set the course of one's entire life on fire, the whole course of your
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life. As your words go, so goes your life. As your words
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go, so go your relationships. And you have the potential. I have
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the potential to burn down a relationship with my words, burn down my marriage
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with my words, burn down my relationship with my kids and my friends with
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my words, burn down my career, burn down my future with my words.
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And the truth is it's a little bit convicting. Some of us have
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scorched the people we love the most with our words, our kids. Why
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would we scorch our kids with our sarcasm, the people that we asked to
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spend the rest of our lives with us to scorch them with our sarcasm or
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words? And then when we're confronted, how do we respond? We defend
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ourselves and what do we defend ourselves with more words? Well, I was
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just being honest, Well I was just mad, Well I was drunk.
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Well I didn't mean it. But the truth is, and you know this,
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you're intelligent people. If you start a fire accidentally, you are still
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responsible for the fire that you started. And if you start a fire with
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your words and it's an accident, you're still responsible for that fire. And
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then, as if we haven't gone deep enough, he takes us to the
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very very bottom. He says, and this fire that you start with your
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mouth, is this toxic thing that's inside your mouth, of this powerful and
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powerful in terms of negative potential inside your mouth, he says, it's actually
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set on fire, and he goes deep. He said it itself has been
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set on fire by Hell. Now when he uses hell here, he's not
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talking about a place of torment. He's talking about the source of evil.
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It's as if he's saying, and the devil sets your mouth on fire,
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you wonder sometimes, where did that come from? He said, I'll tell
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you you go, I don't know where that came from. When it came
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from within you. There's something in you, he said, And it's evil
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and it has the potential to do extraordinary harm. But he's still not done.
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It's like, that's enough, James, So can we turn the corner
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and says, no, not yet. All kinds of animals now he's going
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to completely different direction. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and
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sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind. Now, when
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he says tamed, he's talking about subdued, not domesticated. It's not like
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we bring all these things into our home as pets. That's not his point.
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His point is that the human race is not being threatened by the animal
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kingdom. Now, in the future, we may be threatened by apes,
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we know that. But currently and up until now, the human race has
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not been threatened by the animal kingdom. We've subdued the animals. Every once
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in a while, there's a shark attack, every once in a while there's
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a snake bite, But in terms of the population, we've pretty much figured
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out how to subdue the entire animal kingdom. They do not threaten the human
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race, he says. But you may have gotten the snake problem under control,
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the lions and tigers and bears, oh my problem under control. You
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may have been able to defend yourself from mosquitoes and all kinds of other animals.
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No one, no one, no human being can as in, you're
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not able to tame the tongue. Your tongue, my tongue, he says.
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It's untamable. It can never be fully domesticated, it will never be
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fully under control. There will always be an unpredictably an unpredictable factor about our
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mouths, about our words. Again, they must always be guarded. Quick
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to listen, quick to listen, quick to listen, slow, late,
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wait to speak. He's still not done. It is a restless This is
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a powerful word. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
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It's volatile. It should come with a warning label. I think about this
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today today, standing up here with this little microphone on my cheek, I
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could ruin my entire career with words. Yeah, I could say things,
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and next week the elders would be here going, y'all, remember Andy,
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you were all here for what happened last week. He will not be he
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said, He's so sorry, but he's still not coming back. I could
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stand up here with words and ruin my career. That's the power of words.
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That's the poison. That's the unpredictable factor. That's the Oh my gosh,
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somebody needs to stand guard over my mouth. And then he illustrates this
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whole how unpredictable the mouth is. And this is amazing. In fact,
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some of you are guilty about, are guilty of what he's about to talk
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about now already today, some of you, by the end of the day
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will be guilty of this. He says, okay, because he's talking primarily
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to Jesus followers in the first century. He says, come on, I
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just want to illustrate just how ridiculous this becomes with the tongue. With the
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tongue where with our mouths we praise our Lord and Father, and then we
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turn right around and curse human beings who have been made in God's likeness.
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It's like you come to church on Sunday morning, sing those incredible songs and
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I just love Jesus, Yes I do. I love Jesus. How about
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you? And you know things are great? And then you get in the
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car and you get to the restaurant and you get home and you say you
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love God, and then you treat people that God loves like they're not even
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human. I mean, you're so demeaning, you're so critical, you're so
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caustic, you're so sarcastic. He says, think about that. That's just
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weird. Out of the same mouth, out of the same mouth come both
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praise and cursing. And then he kind of leans in and he says,
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brothers and sisters, he says, this should not be. This should not
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be. It should It doesn't make any sense. He says. For somebody
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to be able to say they love God with their mouth and turn around with
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the same mouth and curse the people that God says that he loves this should
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not be. And then he asked a question, can both fresh water and
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salt water flow from the same spring? And everybody in his audience says no.
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James says, the tongue is miraculous, isn't it. I mean,
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what we don't see anywhere else in nature we see with our mouth. It's
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something veried the opposite, two opposite things can come from the same source.
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I mean, it's never been done before. The mouth is marie in that
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way. It's like a miracle. It's like a magic trick. My brothers
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and sisters, he says. Can a fig tree bear olives? This is
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their world. They're a like no or a grape vine bear for it figs?
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No. Why are you asking us these silly questions, James, We
23:12
know the answer, he said. I just want to make the point.
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It's so unnatural what comes out of our mouth. Can a salt spring or
23:25
either Can a salt spring produce fresh water? Something is uniquely disturbingly wrong with
23:37
our mouths. And then what comes next is a shock the end that said,
23:45
he finishes, he goes on to the next topic. Say wait,
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wait, wait, wait, you just hit the brakes and threw us through,
23:49
you know, out in front of the hood of the car. It'say,
23:52
whoa what, well, you gotta slow this thing down, You gotta
23:55
end slow. You gotta give us application. You need to give us some
23:57
hope, you know, James, give us some suggestions. What do we
24:00
do? And he doesn't. He just ends right there and goes to the
24:03
next topic. And I think the reason is because he wants to make this
24:07
point that there is no there is no there is no once and for all
24:15
solution. There is no. Hey, once you learn this, you're done.
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Once you do this, you're done. Once you mature, you're done.
24:21
Once you hit age, whatever that age is, you're done. No.
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This is a constant thing. It's a constant potential for great good,
24:27
as we're going to see next week. It is a constant potential for extraordinary
24:32
evil. It determines the direction and quality of your life. It determines the
24:36
direction and quality of your family, the direction and quality of your children,
24:38
the direction and quality of your roommate, the people you work with, the
24:41
people you work for. He says, this is a really big deal,
24:44
and you're never safe. You're never safe. It is a constant thing.
24:49
It has to constantly be guarded. That's why it's quick to listen. Listen,
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listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, slow to
24:56
speak. We can't gather up all the tongues and take them to West Africa
25:00
and put them on a preserve and just visit them on vacation. We can't
25:04
put them behind glass at the aquarium and stare at him and then go home.
25:08
We can't collect them all and lock them up somewhere. So what do
25:14
we do now? When I was preparing for our time together, I was
25:18
tempted to say, James doesn't tell you, and so I don't know,
25:22
God bless you. See you next week. You know we'll pick it up
25:25
there. Well, can't do that, but that is a good question.
25:30
What do we do with this unpredictable, dangerous thing. So again I was
25:34
attempted to say, hey, see you next week. Well, what I
25:37
want to do is we close? Is I want to give you three words?
25:40
And this sets us up for where we're going next week because there is
25:41
hope. James point is to make us understand the gravity of what we're dealing
25:48
with. So I want to give you these three words. The three words
25:49
are remember, surrender and confess. Remember surrender, confess. After a gentleman
25:55
made a good suggestion, I should have taken it to make it. Remember
25:57
surrender confessor. But anyway, so we're just gonna go with Remember, surrender,
26:02
confess. And the idea of remember is this, and this is James's
26:04
point is remember the power that you have. You are you don't feel this.
26:10
You are a very powerful person. You are a very powerful person because
26:15
you can wield words, and words are the most powerful thing anybody wills.
26:18
You are a powerful person. You have extraordinary power. Remember that every single
26:22
time you open your mouth, especially when you're angry, especially when you're frustrated,
26:26
especially when you're kind of wound up. And again, you were born
26:30
with your pilot light lit at any moment, Just remember your potential for good
26:36
and your potential for evil is really unlimited. Remember that. And then the
26:42
second word surrender comes from the fact that, hey, if this is such
26:45
a big deal, and if we have the potential to burn down relationships and
26:48
burn down the people we love the most. And some of us have been
26:51
scorched by other people, so we've developed some bad habits in terms of how
26:55
we respond. Then we need to surrender this formidable weapon to our heavenly father.
27:00
And next week I'm going to talk a little bit more about how to
27:03
do that. But basically, this is an invitation for us to surrender our
27:08
mouths and our words to our father in heaven. This has been something I've
27:12
done for a long time, and kind of my version of this is the
27:15
Apostle Paul, when he wrote a letter to Christians living in Rome in the
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first century. It's called the Book of Romans. He says that Christians are
27:22
to offer their bodies, all the parts of the body, as a living
27:26
sacrifice to God. In fact, he says, offer the members of your
27:29
body, you know, all the different parts of your body, as a
27:30
living sacrifice to God. So part of my morning prayer time is I do
27:33
that. I say God, I give you my hands, I give you
27:37
my feet. I want to go where you want me to go. I
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give you my eyes. I'm surrendering my eyes to look at what you want
27:41
me to look at. I'm surrendering my ears and I'm surrendering my mouth because
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Heavenly Father, no matter how old I get, no matter how mature I
27:51
am as a believer, regardless of how many prayers I've prayed and how many
27:53
verses I've memorized, I know James is right. The volatility never goes away,
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and the more influence I have, the more potential for evil I carry.
28:08
So let me give you kind of a sort of a first start,
28:11
or a way to start. You might be a person that prays every morning.
28:15
You may never pray. Here's a simple prayer that goes right to the
28:18
heart of what James is talking about. What if every morning, or maybe
28:21
just every morning this next week, you prayed this simple prayer. Heavenly Father,
28:25
remind me to be quick to listen, slow to speak. Heavenly Father,
28:30
remind me to be quick to listen and slow to speak. And maybe
28:33
when you're praying, because nobody's looking, Heavenly Father, remind me to be
28:36
quick to listen and slow to speak. I would like for us to just
28:41
say this out loud. And here's the cool part. You've heard me say
28:45
this before. I hope you never forget this Jesus. Jesus said that God
28:51
wants us to address him as Father, heavenly Father, not a reflection of
28:55
your earthly father, necessarily, but a reflect a reminder that we have a
29:00
perfect heavenly Father. So let's just say this together. Ready, here we
29:03
go. Everybody, Ready, Heavenly Father, remind me to be quick to
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listen and slow to speed. What if you pray that every day? One
29:11
more time? Ready, everybody, Heavenly Father, remind me to be quick
29:15
to listen. You may not be a person that prays very much, but
29:18
here's what I know about you. You want the person and the people that
29:22
you live with to pray this prayer, right, so why not join them?
29:26
And then the third word is to confess, and that is when you
29:30
mess up. And James says, you're gonna mess up. This isn't an
29:33
if, this is a win. This isn't Oh, I've graduated, I've
29:36
moved beyond that. I've matured beyond that. James says, no, you
29:38
don't mature past this. You manage it, you guard it. But when
29:41
you mess up, and when those words come out immediately, you just confess.
29:45
Don't explain. Come on, stop explaining. Don't excuse Own the fires
29:52
you have begun with your words. Just own them. Own the scorching sarcasm
29:57
that's been a habit your whole life. It out. There is no place.
30:00
Maybe you've heard this before, there is no place for sarcasm in family,
30:06
none. There is no place for sarcasm in marriage. There is no
30:07
place for sarcasm in parenting. Everybody might chuckle, but you have wounded someone
30:14
with your sarcasm. So confess it immediately and break that happened. Dads.
30:19
As I said earlier, I don't know why. Our words are the hottest
30:26
and the heaviest. Remember that, kids, and that's all of us.
30:32
If you're in this room, if you're watching, you're a kid, you're
30:33
a child, You have a parent, or you had a parent. Our
30:37
words to our parents are the heaviest words our parents will ever hear. You
30:42
don't believe that because you know what you say. Oh, it's just my
30:45
mom. There's no such thing as just my mom. There's no such thing
30:48
as just my dad. Regardless of your age, your words matter to your
30:55
parents. Ladies, we look like we're tough. We can take anything.
31:00
Laugh when we're criticized. Us guys, our egos are so fragile. Guard
31:07
your words, and men, come on, honor women with your words.
31:14
Honor women with your words, the women in your life, the women at
31:18
work, and any woman you come into contact. Just decide, I'm going
31:22
to honor women in the presence of women, and I'm going to honor women
31:26
when there are no women around. That's the world you want to live in.
31:32
Men, that's the world you want your daughter and your granddaughter to grow
31:37
up in. So come on, quick to listen, slow to speak.
31:41
Last thing, for those of you who grew up in homes or grew up
31:45
in environments where words were used against you, where you were scorched over and
31:49
over and over and over. Please for the sake of the next generation,
31:55
don't repeat that cycle. And you will, I would say, be tempted
31:59
to, but it's not even a temptation. You will be inclined to repeat
32:02
this cycle. You have already heard it coming out of your mouth, the
32:06
very same thing you heard coming out of your father or your mother, or
32:08
your grandfather or some other person in your life's mouth. You've already heard it,
32:13
and you're like, where did that come from? You know where it
32:14
came from. Don't repeat that cycle. Decide that you're going to break it.
32:21
Because words are powerful and as we're going to see you next week,
32:23
they have extraordinary and unlimited power for good as well as evil. So here's
32:30
what James says. I know, it's kind of a downer. Your mouth
32:34
cannot be tamed. It can only be guarded. Your mouth cannot be ulti
32:42
fully and finally tamed. It can only be guarded, and by God's grace
32:46
and with some thoughtfulness on your part, it can be controlled. Quick to
32:52
listen, slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to speak, quick
32:57
to listen, slow to speak. Please don't miss part three next week