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118. Make Great Decisions · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hi team. Welcome to the show.
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  Thank you for listening today. In this episode, I want to talk
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  to you about how to make big decisions, how to make hard
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  decisions in life and business and relationships.
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  This matters so much, mostly because it's one of the top
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  complaints from people, from clients, from people out in the
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  world. They really struggle with
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  confidently making decisions, especially decisions that feel
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  weighty or difficult. One of the big reasons I think
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  this is, is because people lack self trust.
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  They lack confidence in themselves to make a decision
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  and really stick to it and feel good about it for the long term.
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  This conversation feels so important to have because you
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  make your decisions every single day and your decisions are what
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  make your life. And so if you don't know how to
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  make high quality decisions, you aren't going to be able to build
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  or design A life that excites you and brings fulfillment to
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  you. Whether it's in your business or
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  your relationships or your health or your life, making
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  decisions is a key skill. It is.
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  It's a skill that you can get better at that will serve you in
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  every area of your life. It's something that I work on
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  with almost every single client because it's so crucial to them
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  feeling the peace and joy and fulfillment that they want.
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  Before we go further, there's something that we need to
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  acknowledge about decisions, and that is that every yes that you
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  give to something is a no to something else, and every no
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  that you give to something is a yes to something else.
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  And most people are not connected to what they're
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  actually choosing when they're making decisions.
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  They just decide based on reactions or guilt or fear or
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  urgency. And then they wonder why they
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  feel stuck and their decisions aren't taking them in the
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  direction that they want to go. It's often that I say to people,
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  your current reality is the product of all the yeses and the
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  Nos that you've given in the past.
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  It's something that we have to take ownership of, the decisions
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  that we make every single day in our lives.
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  The big problem is that so many people make decisions from a
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  place of disempowerment, not empowerment.
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  That's the guilt, the fear, the urgency, the reaction.
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  They think that they're choosing, but they're really
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  just reacting to things. They say no to opportunities
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  because they're afraid. They say yes to people or things
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  because they want to please them or they want to avoid conflict.
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  They delay a decision because they're overwhelmed and they
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  don't really want to deal with it, but they might call it
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  wisdom. They're not connected to the
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  real cost of waiting or the cost of acting, meaning they don't
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  understand the importance of a timeline around a decision.
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  And I think the thing to home in on right now is the empowerment
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  piece because empowerment is about agency and it's about
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  ownership. You know, we're always talking
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  about ownership as it relates to your ability to have powerful
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  impact in the world. And if you are not in your
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  power, it is really difficult to have the lasting impact and to
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  be able to amplify your impact in the way that you want to.
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  When you are empowered, you are connected to what you're
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  choosing. You are connected to the yeses
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  and the Nos that you're giving. You know exactly what you're
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  saying yes to and you know exactly what you're saying no
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  to. When you're making these
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  decisions and you're happy, you're content with the trade
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  off. You can make decisions based on
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  clarity. You are moving towards
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  something, not away from something.
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  That's what empowerment is about.
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  Disempowerment is the opposite. Disempowerment is about
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  avoidance. It's about putting your head in
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  the sand. It's perhaps feeling like you're
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  the victim in your life and things are happening to you, not
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  for you. And when you're in that place of
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  disempowerment, you are not connected to what you're
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  choosing. You don't feel clear about the
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  trade-offs that you're making. Your choices are reactive.
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  You're typically running away from something instead of
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  running toward something. It can often be that your
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  decisions are rooted in blame, or it can be that you make a
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  decision based off of your external factors instead of your
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  internal conviction or intuition or general knowing about your
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  life. And the tough part about this is
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  that empowered and disempowered decisions can sometimes look the
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  same from the outside. And it's really important for us
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  to understand the difference between the two because whatever
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  big decision that you're making in your life right now, we want
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  to make sure that you're coming to that decision from a place of
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  empowerment. Whether it's a yes or a no, you
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  want to be in a place of empowerment so that you can
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  avoid living a disempowered life.
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  When we think about decision making, we can break it down
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  into four different categories of decision.
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  There's #1 empowered action. And this is action that's rooted
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  in clarity and vision for your life.
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  Empowered action means, I know what this will cost me, this
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  decision, but the gain is worth it.
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  You're clear it's not a maybe, it's not a someday, it's just a
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  hell yes. So you're not hedging your bets
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  and you're not hoping. You're just stepping towards
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  something on purpose with full ownership.
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  And you know the results that you want are up to you.
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  So you're saying yes to doing the work that's required of you.
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  That's empowered action. The second type of decision is
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  empowered waiting. This is waiting.
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  That's full of intention. So it's not avoidance, it's not
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  passive, it's about saying I know what a yes will cost me and
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  the gain is not worth the cost in this season.
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  So it's a no for right now. For example, maybe you're
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  already committed to something else.
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  Maybe you're committed to a project.
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  Maybe you are taking a season of rest.
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  Maybe you are investing your energy and your resources into
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  something else. And by saying no to this thing
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  that's curly in front of you, you're simply continuing your
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  yes from the past to a previous empowered decision.
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  You're following through and having an integrity around the
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  decision that you made in the past.
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  The challenge with this one with empowered waiting is knowing
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  when the waiting is over. And so a great question to ask
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  yourself is when will I know that I'm ready to say yes to a
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  new level of action or a new decision?
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  The third one is disempowered action.
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  And this is action that looks really decisive, but it's
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  actually just reactive. And this is a place where a lot
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  of people live. It's a yes to something based on
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  guilt, pressure, fear, saboteurs.
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  That saboteur behavior. Maybe it's to please somebody
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  else. That people pleaser.
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  Maybe it's because you don't want to seem like a failure.
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  Perfectionism. You're saying yes to avoid
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  conflict with your spouse or your parents or your boss.
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  Maybe it's just to avoid discomfort.
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  But disempowered action is so common, it often looks like
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  busyness. People avoid big decisions or
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  big things because they don't feel empowered.
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  They stay really busy so that they don't have to face the
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  discomfort of making these key decisions.
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  The challenge with disempowered action is knowing why you're
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  making decisions the way you are.
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  And a question to ask yourself is am I doing this because I
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  want it or because someone else wants it?
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  Or what am I avoiding by staying busy?
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  Those are two really powerful questions with this one.
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  Finally, the 4th type of decision is disempowered
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  waiting. And this is just procrastination
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  dressed up as wisdom. You tell yourself you're not
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  ready, but you don't even really know what ready looks like.
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  I mean, are we ever really ready?
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  People might be waiting because they're avoiding fear.
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  There's no feedback, there's no reflection.
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  They might recognize the cost of action, but they don't know how
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  much it's already costing them to wait.
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  And the challenge with disempowered waiting is
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  understanding the cost of their inaction.
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  So the question would be, how much is waiting on making a
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  crucial decision around this costing me?
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  What is the cost of this, and what results would I gain from
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  action? Or you could ask yourself, how
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  long am I willing to pay the cost of not getting those
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  results? All of those questions have
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  really helped me understand when I'm in a place of disempowerment
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  and I'm just waiting instead of moving.
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  So my challenge to you this week is to think about what are the
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  key decisions that you have going on in your life right now?
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  What are the things that you need to decide around?
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  This could be health, it could be relationships, it could be
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  work, it could be anything, but I know that you have some big
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  decisions to make in your life, probably even this week.
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  The bottom line is whether you take action or you wait, that
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  doesn't matter to me. What's important is that you're
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  coming from a place of empowerment and not
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  disempowerment. That's the key.
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  Because every yes is a no to something else and every no is a
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  yes to something else. Because every decision that we
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  make is what builds the life in front of us and we want to make
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  sure we have clarity and vision around that.
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  So here are a few questions that you might ask yourself to help
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  sort out your thoughts around these decisions.
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  What do I gain from taking action?
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  What do I gain from waiting? What does it cost me to take
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  action and what does it cost me to wait?
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  Answer those questions about any major decision that you have to
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  make in your life right now and I promise it will give you so
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  much clarity. I appreciate you being here.
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  I wish you all the best in making these crucial decisions
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  in your life. I hope that by answering these
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  questions, you can come to your hell yes or your hell no and you
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  can mean it with your full body. So thank you for being here and
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  for listening. And as always, thank you for
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  being ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
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  Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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  you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
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  By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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  exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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  share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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  I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.